Almost everyone knows that matchmaking is a custom that has come down from ancient times. For some time, the tradition began to fade into oblivion and be forgotten.
And so... as if by magic, the ceremony again began not only to be revived, but also to shine with new colors and shimmers.
Previously, a girl found out that they wanted to marry her exactly when matchmakers appeared on the doorstep of the house, that is, they came to make a match. Everything was very unexpected. Now a surprise can quarrel between the newlyweds, it is better to set a time convenient for everyone and carefully prepare for matchmaking in advance.
And although this is an optional part of the pre-wedding events, it is matchmaking that will allow future spouses to introduce relatives, get the approval of their parents, and besides, matchmaking is a good opportunity to outline plans for the wedding, and just make friends.
The first visit is made by the groom's parents to the bride's house. The period from matchmaking to the planned wedding date can range from one month to a year. Whichever is more convenient for you. Then the visit has the opposite character - to the bride's family. The details of the upcoming wedding ceremony are already discussed there in more detail.
It is believed that the more fun the matchmaking is, the fewer flaws there will be at the wedding and the young people will not quarrel. Therefore, you should prepare for the planned day in advance and spend it with positivity, jokes, and jokes.
We offer you two matchmaking scenarios on the part of the groom, which will help set the pace for the beginning of the family relationship of the young and the friendship of the parents.
Answers to questions for the groom and witness: what to say when ransoming the bride
All participants in the ransom, including the groom, must behave cheerfully and positively. The hero of the occasion has a special role, because he must amaze all the guests with his eloquence, ingenuity and sense of humor. And to do this, you need to decide in advance what to say when buying the bride. Most bride buyouts are similar to each other, since the organizers select the same competitions, only with different accompaniments, and the presenters do not delight others with their acting skills. This is why it is so important to think through original speeches.
Traditions
Traditions began to take shape in ancient times, when people believed in supernatural forces and sought to interact with them. In every aspect of his activity, man tried to please the good gods, avoid annoying the evil ones if possible, and generally live in peace and harmony with nature.
Based on such attitudes, the scenario of each holiday, including weddings, gradually took shape. Our ancestors with all their actions tried to attract happiness and prosperity to the newlyweds, and avoid failures. For this reason, the celebration consisted of a variety of customs that were respected by all couples.
It was impossible to change anything in the usual order of things at the wedding, but no one even thought about it. Modern newlyweds, on the contrary, strive to make their wedding unique, as a result of which they shoulder the burden of thoroughly thinking through the scenario.
Despite the desire to make the wedding unique, the bride and groom still use accepted traditions in their script, albeit unconsciously. Customs, old and new, form the framework of the celebration, on which are then layered individual ideas that make the wedding unique.
How to bathe a bride correctly - instructions
Traditionally, a wedding begins with a bride price. It is held before the groom meets the bride on the day of the celebration. This ritual is one of the unchanging traditions that accompany a wedding. The ritual has deep roots. In ancient times, in order to take a girl who was the first assistant in the house, it was necessary to give something in return.
The groom tried to cover the inconvenience that would arise due to the girl leaving home by giving valuables, livestock and other gifts in return. In our times, this ritual takes place symbolically, and its task is not to bargain for money, but to add zest and gaiety to the event. Let's take a closer look at how to buy a bride, what the groom and witnesses should do, so that everyone is satisfied and the procedure does not drag on.
Trades and competitions
In some cultures, brides were stolen, in others they were conquered with their courage and strength, in others there were weddings for mutual love, and girls were ransomed from the Slavic peoples.
At first, it was more of a respectful gesture on the part of the groom, since the potential wife made the decision about marriage only after the young man had passed the tests. The ransom was paid only after the bride agreed to the wedding.
Later, the tradition changed and focused on the material component. The young man came to the house of his bride's parents along with the matchmakers to ask the head of the family for the wedding. The girl herself did not take part in this matter; her task was only to demonstrate her thriftiness and courtesy. The size of the ransom that was paid on the wedding day depended on this and also on the appearance of the bride. For more complete information about Russian wedding traditions, follow the link.
In the modern world, this tradition has become just a formality; what needs to be said when buying a bride has become less important.
Like many other customs, it was turned into an interesting humorous performance designed to diversify the wedding scenario. In most cases, the girl no longer needs to be ransomed in the original sense of the word, since she lives separately from her parents, and often even with the groom himself. The young man only needs to pass the prepared tests, which is usually known in advance at the bride price; he just needs to prove in a comic form that he is worthy of being the husband of his beloved.
Right answers
As a rule, the scenario of what to say to the groom when buying the bride is prepared by the witness.
If, instead of one boyfriend, the hero of the occasion chose several girlfriends in the Western style, then they think through it together.
However, no one forbids several guests to gather together and jointly come up with interesting competitions and accompaniments for them.
In this case, the script is usually drawn up in such a way that the hosts of the ransom have the most words. The groom can only answer in monosyllables in the right places, which he can do without difficulty, since in general the texts are of the same type. For example, when the hero of the occasion arrives at his beloved’s house, and her girlfriends, in a speech of several paragraphs, ask why he came, then he should answer simply - “For the bride.”
It is difficult to prepare for the ransom, since the groom does not know in advance which scenario the organizers will choose. In addition, they can change the classic text. It is expected that during the test the hero of the occasion will prove himself as an improviser - he will be able to find the appropriate words and pass all competitions with a bang.
In general, you need to prepare yourself for saying the following things.
Expert advice. No one will require long speeches - after all, the main goal is to pass the tests and entertain the guests. Despite this, you need to prepare for what to say to the groom at the bride price, especially if the bride price will be filmed by a videographer. This is especially true for young men who have difficulty speaking in public.
You have a girl, we have a great guy
Now what is a ransom at a wedding? This is a popular tradition , without which not a single wedding in Russia is complete. The organization of bride price at a wedding takes place according to a pre-rehearsed scenario .
The simplest test for a newlywed will be the dowry. When the groom's retinue arrives at the bride's house, her relatives and neighbors block the newlywed's path. They offer to purchase a dowry for coins or pass a test. It is expected that for the sake of honor and economy, the groom will try his luck at winning .
Tricky assignments will rain down on him from all sides; he will be tested in dancing, singing serenades, and hammering nails. Or they may ask you to list and prove your positive qualities. The composition of bride price competitions depends only on the imagination of the organizers ; there are no restrictions for them.
Groom at the bride price
According to the rules of the ransom, the next stage is a comic sale of the bride. There is a whole science about how to properly sell a bride at ransom. By how the ransom ceremony takes place, one judges the wealth of the future husband and the happiness of his chosen one.
The groom's responsibility lies in the ability to become a winner in a difficult situation and not lose face during competitions.
Help for the groom from friends and guests
It is also important to decide in advance what the groom’s friends and relatives will say when ransoming the bride - after all, they can also participate in the ransom process.
A witness, for example, can become one with the groom, that is, speak some text for him or even offer his candidacy for complex competitions. Usually such a person is chosen from among married men, so he already knows how the ransom may turn out.
And what to say to the witness during the bride price is no less important, because he will literally guide his friend to marriage, saving him in those moments when the groom lacks words. The rest of the guests can help during the competitions, for example, suggesting affectionate words to call the bride, or bargaining with the organizers of the tests. Girlfriends and relatives on the part of the hero of the occasion are often carried away by the idea of ransom and voice a rather large fine for failure in the competition, but the entire groom’s retinue, in concert and indignation, can bring down the price.
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MATCHMAKING The modern rite of matchmaking has a nominal rather than a functional meaning. Nowadays, parents of newlyweds can find out that their children got married after marriage. But let’s be more optimistic and consider the ideal option when the future groom, before taking the bride to the registry office, woo her. The modern rite of matchmaking begins with a young man proposing his hand and heart to his chosen one. And if he receives a positive answer, the rules of good manners recommend asking the parents for the daughter’s hand in marriage. It is better if the girl prepares her parents for the upcoming event in order to create a favorable atmosphere. On the appointed day, the future groom comes to the house of the bride's parents and presents flowers to both the bride's mother and his beloved. To begin with, a young man can tell his parents about his feelings for their daughter, about the prospects for a future life together, and then he can proceed to the main thing - asking for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Having given their consent, the girl’s parents symbolically place their daughter’s hand in the hand of their future husband.
The next step is a visit of the future newlyweds to the groom's parents. Now the bride is faced with the task of making a favorable impression; we recommend presenting a bouquet of flowers to her future mother-in-law. After this, both families usually meet and discuss the details of holding and organizing the upcoming celebration and the further living together of the newlyweds. But matchmaking is the first stage of pre-wedding efforts, now you are about to get engaged...
ENGAGEMENT After you have secured the consent of your parents and submitted an application to the registry office, you can arrange a gala dinner at which your engagement and the expected wedding date will be announced. An engagement can be treated as an outdated formality or as a beautiful custom that precedes an important event in your life. An engagement is a declaration of the mutual consent of lovers to marry. Now lovers have the right to be called bride and groom. On the day of engagement, a number of important issues can be resolved. The composition of the guests is determined, the location, organization and timing of the wedding are agreed upon, as well as possible options for financial support for young parents at first. It is best to schedule an engagement reception after submitting an application to the registry office. Traditionally, relatives and friends are invited to the engagement party, to whom you want to inform about the upcoming event. You can also invite those who obviously will not be able to attend your wedding, but whom you consider necessary to honor with attention. You can celebrate your engagement both at home and outdoors, or order this festive dinner in a restaurant or cafe. The groom can present the bride with a ring on the engagement day. This ring, accepted by the bride, confirms the intentions of both to marry. If a young man presents a ring when proposing to a girl, she cannot take the ring and refuse to marry. Giving and accepting a ring indicates consent to marriage. Rings with diamonds or other stones are most often used for engagement, but there are no special rules here. An engagement ring is usually worn only until the wedding, and then kept, and, if the marriage is successful, passed on to children or grandchildren. Engagement is a period of testing reliability and ability to support each other. A kind of common cause appears - a wedding and preparation for life together. During this period, it becomes clear how much the bride and groom trust and understand each other, how much they are ready to accept the oddities and habits of their loved one. Having decided to start a family, you enter into a new status - with new rights and responsibilities. Many begin to be tormented by various kinds of doubts about the fidelity, sincerity and love of the other, the reality of a shared future. The time from engagement to wedding will allow you to once again carefully weigh everything, arrange rarities and make a choice in favor of family or freedom.
RITE OF BUYING The rite of ransom is the little that has been preserved from the traditional Russian wedding, and therefore special attention should be paid when preparing this rite. The main participants in the ransom are the witness, the bride's friends (in the role of sellers) and the groom with the witness, and with their friends (in the role of buyers), as well as relatives on the part of the bride and groom. This is one of the most spectacular and fun elements of a wedding, and therefore you should prepare for it in advance and carefully. But since this is a folk ritual, it can be modified and have several options. You can select the tasks yourself and create your own ransom scenario using the information provided. At the appointed time, the groom and his friends and family go to pick up the bride, who is usually at the house of her parents or her closest relatives. At the entrance to the house he is met by his girlfriends and relatives of the bride, who warn him that without a “ransom” the bride will not be seen. The role of the leader is taken by the witness. The ransom ritual is not necessarily a standard script with poems and sayings. Perhaps you will be too lazy to learn everything by heart, or the newlyweds will be against a large, detailed scenario, but at the same time they will still want to preserve some elements of the ceremony, or (pah-pah-pah) the groom is late and there is practically no time left to properly “seduce” him, but... You need to be prepared for anything, the main thing is not to get confused and show your imagination. Several competitions can always relieve the tension, but don’t get too carried away, otherwise the bride risks being left “in the girls”. You can come up with different tasks to obstruct the groom, here are some of them: • while climbing the flight of stairs to the bride’s apartment, the groom names the household chores that he undertakes to do (for each missed step there is a fine); • footprints cut out of paper are laid out on the flight of stairs, memorable dates are written on the back of each trace (the year in which the bride was born, the date of birth of the mother-in-law, the size of the bride’s shoes, the date of filing the application to the registry office, the date of acquaintance, the height of the bride, etc. ), for each incorrect answer there is a fine; • the groom is given several balloons with pieces of paper inside on which memorable dates are written (the bride’s graduation date from school or college, the bride’s house or apartment number, the father-in-law’s birthday, the bride’s age), for each incorrect answer there is a fine; • the groom is offered several pairs of shoes, he must guess the bride's shoe; • bridesmaids and relatives of the bride leave handprints on a piece of paper, and the groom must guess the hand of his beloved; • bridesmaids leave prints of their lips on paper; among this diversity, the groom must guess the lips of his bride, for each wrong answer there is a fine; • the groom is given an apple studded with matches, and he must, taking out a match, call the bride affectionate names (beloved, dear, sunshine, etc.), when the groom takes out a short match, the test ends; • the door to the bride's room is covered with ribbons, tearing off a ribbon the groom calls his betrothed with affectionate names (sweet, gentle, kind, etc.); • a picture is placed in front of the groom, which depicts: the sun, a cloud, a forest, a road, a river, grass, etc.; he must color it (with lemons, oranges, a bottle of vodka or wine, money, etc.); • the groom is offered to put the most precious thing he has for the bride into an empty basin (the groom must stand himself); • guess which of three glasses with an opaque liquid (strong tea, coffee, juice, kefir, etc.) contains the key to the bride’s apartment and take it out without touching it with your hands; for each wrong answer there is a fine; • the groom is given a daisy made of paper, with dates or numbers on the back of each petal (see above), for each wrong answer there is a fine; • the groom walks from the door to the bride in small steps, and for each step he says a kind word for his beloved (see above); • when the groom has passed all the tests, he must utter the most cherished words so that the door to the bride's room will finally open. But these words are not “Sim-Sim, open up,” but, of course, “I love you”! Poems for meeting the groom with friends: “Oh, you, gentlemen, guests, how long have you been traveling? Where? And what tailwind brought you here to us?” (Listen to the answer). Then the bride’s friends pick up the ransom ceremony: “Dear groom and groomsmen! Your girlfriends greet you, To find a bride, You have to go through a lot. Rising slowly, Sing us a song, so loudly, So that the bride, sitting at home, can hear a familiar voice. Yes, on each step, put three kopecks.” The groom, walking up the stairs, must sing very loudly a song familiar to the bride and at the same time place exactly three kopecks on each step. Further, the witness continues: “In order to enter the bride, you must go through the door. Drink all the water to the bottom. And you will open the door without difficulty.” At the same time, a large mug, jar or small bucket of water is served. If the groom fails to cope with the task, he pays a fine. Friends and a witness can help the groom. The first ransom for a completed task is received as a key to the front door. It should also be borne in mind that the groom must know in advance about the proposed ransom tasks, so as not to get into an awkward position. The witness lays out a large colored scarf in front of the groom and continues: “Now, groom, wait, Do you see the big scarf here?! How many circles are there - look, you gild them all.” The groom takes out candies, fruits or money and puts them on a scarf. THE RANSOM continues: “To get a bride, You must pay a ransom. We want to know from you, Who should we give it to? Come on, dear friends, praise the groom!” The best man and friends begin to praise the groom. “And now let him answer: Where, when did he meet (the name of the bride), And notice him among others? What was she wearing, what did you say to her?” They are waiting for the groom's answer. “Yes, your answer is very correct, But the second question is more difficult than the first. You know everything about the bride, but can you guess about the mother-in-law? Well, tell me without delay, When is your mother-in-law’s birthday?” If the groom cannot answer this question, then he pays a fine in the form of chocolate or money. Therefore, just in case, the witness should have as many banknotes or chocolate bars in his pocket as the number of questions they will ask him. A flower resembling a white daisy appears in the hand of the witness, on the petals of which are written questions for the groom, which he must read out loud and answer himself. Did not answer - fine. The witness gives a new task for the groom and his friends: “We see that you are a dashing people and also daring, and to prove this, are you not weak in dancing? Isn't the groom lame? Come on, stomp your foot! Don’t make people laugh, it’s better to dance “The Lady!” The groom dances "The Lady". “Well done, you are daring, strong, brave, mischievous. In honor of the bride, dance “Gypsy” to us from the bottom of your heart!” The groom and his friends perform “Gypsy Girl.” For the new test, the witness must prepare several bright colored ribbons, which are secured so as to block the bride’s entrance to the room. “Cutting this thread, Words must be spoken, This is not a simple word, Affectionate, golden. We all want to hear, What will you call the bride?” The groom loudly calls the bride by affectionate names. After this, the bride is given to the groom. Witness: “Take care of the bride, groom, from adversity and dashing storms. So that it blossoms, so that it bears fruit, Your happiness is in her - so love her! Well, we’re all here in a herd, Let’s pour some glasses together.”
BACHELOR PARTY From January 20, the beginning of the winter meat-eating season, until Maslenitsa, matchmakers are sent and weddings take place. There are countless customs and signs associated with this solemn event. All wedding ceremonies used to be accompanied by various kinds of precautions against a dashing eye, against a dashing person. Let us recall from history beliefs and signs that have disappeared, partly preserved, which can become part of customs in our time. According to the old Russian custom, the so-called bachelorette party and bachelor party were held on the evening before the wedding. If the first groom comes to woo a girl, the toes of his shoes must be washed with water. Then the girl washes herself with this water, washes her hands, saying: “A hundred suitors will follow your trail to me.” Or cover his tracks to the house with a broom using the same plot. The folk custom of washing in a bathhouse on the eve of a wedding expresses the purity of the marriage bed and cleanliness in general. There is an old belief that the bride needs to cry on her bachelorette party and before the wedding: “If you don’t cry at the table, you will cry behind the pillar” - that is, after the wedding you will shed tears in an unhappy marriage. At the bachelorette party, let the bride wash herself with the spoken beer: “How clean you are, gold and silver, Clean and decent, How you are, gold and silver, Everyone is dressed up, looking at you, Old and young, married and single, Old old women and young women, Beautiful girls and young fellows, So everyone would stare and stare at you, slave ... (name), You would seem to them like gold and silver, They would look and stare, They would not take their eyes off you.” When a bachelorette party takes place, the bride's brother or some boy in the groom's house packs his gifts and brings them to the bride. The same boy must put on the bride’s shoes for the crown. Before leaving for the wedding, the bride, who wants her sisters to get married faster, should lightly pull the tablecloth that covers the table. During the wedding, whoever steps on the foot first will rule. Whichever future spouse will live longer is the one whose candle remains longer during the wedding. During a wedding, crowns must be placed on the heads of those getting married, despite the fact that they are heavy. If the crown is not put on the head for relief, such a marriage is popularly considered invalid, illegal and a bad omen. Before the newlyweds go to the wedding, place a lock under the threshold, and when they cross the threshold, close the lock with the key, throw the key away, and keep the lock - the young people will live well. Place young spouses on a shaggy fur coat - their life will be rich and free. If possible, put the newlyweds to bed on the first night in a separate room, and it’s absolutely wonderful if you put them on a bed of 21 sheaves of rye - the income in the house will accompany them throughout their lives. To prevent an evil person from spoiling the wedding and causing damage, all guests should wear knitted belts with many knots. Remember, a pin from a young woman’s outfit is kept by a friend and promises happiness, and the girl a quick marriage. In order for the newlyweds to avoid evil slander, it is necessary to place cover grass on the threshold after the newlyweds have left for the wedding. And upon returning, the bride and groom must jump over the threshold. If they step on the threshold, on the grass, troubles will fall on their heads. When the young man goes to the bride’s house to live, then, entering the hut after the wedding, he utters the words, looking at the ceiling: “I am coming, a pawed and proud beast, a loud-mouthed, toothy ox: I am a wolf, and you are my sheep.” Upon entering her husband’s house after the wedding, the young woman says: “First, second, I’m coming third!” Everyone out, I have the house alone.” Returning to modern times, the following points can be noted. The bride spends the evening before the wedding with her friends, the groom with his friends. The main content of the evening is a rite of farewell to single life. If the bride and groom want to be together on the eve of the wedding, then you can invite the groom and his friends to the bachelorette party. However, it is not advisable for the groom to stay until the end of the bachelorette party. Future newlyweds can take advantage of this custom and invite a wider circle of their friends to the bachelorette party and bachelor party than to the wedding celebration.
Basic answers
The bride's ransom, and the scenario of what the groom's side says, usually begins and is built with the presenters asking why the guests came to them.
Instead of a simple answer “For the bride,” the groom can say the following words: “Hello, I haven’t seen you for a long time. I came for the bride, for my beloved, I want to make her my wife. I’m ready to complete any task, go through fire, water and copper pipes, just to be with my destiny.”
Such an answer will certainly discourage and delight the presenters, and the entire ransom will take place in a positive way.
For the rest, the groom will have to improvise. You will probably need your own text for the following points:
Improvisation in the style of eternal love for your future wife is the best thing to say to the groom when buying the bride. The words must come from the heart, then everyone, including the speaker himself, will enjoy it. Preparing for such an event is not easy, so you need to keep in mind that you may have to compose a romantic text on the go.
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Matchmakers' speeches
To begin with, an introductory speech is made by the matchmakers. The matchmaker is of great importance in matchmaking, she conducts this entire event, so the matchmaker must prepare in advance so that no one gets bored, she must know what to say to the matchmakers. What answer the bride's parents give also depends on the matchmaker. Humor, proverbs, short poems are very appropriate in this case.
You can’t do without the phrase “you have a product, we have a merchant!” On a note. You can vary the scenario based on your personal traditions, nationality and region of residence.
You can ask the bride funny questions:
- — What kind of water should I brew noodles with?
- — What kind of cabbage should I put in borscht? Etc.
Poems for matchmaking from the groom
The centuries-old tradition of matchmaking still has its fans today. And this is not surprising, because the matchmaking process is not just a way to show the bride’s family one’s determination and seriousness of intentions, but also a great adventure for the young people themselves. These funny and romantic poems will help the groom and his friends organize a beautiful matchmaking and win the hearts of their beloved’s parents.
Can I come to you? Who is there? Open the door to matchmakers! We've walked a lot of roads, We barely found you!
We know that a beautiful maiden is hidden in the manor-light! And so that she could go out onto the porch - We brought her a ring!
Our gentleman is noble, prominent, sweet-faced, an enviable groom: Although there is not a lot of gold, But the mind is a chamber,
Hands are gold, soul is both pure and good! This is how well done we are - At least today, down the aisle!
