How to get married and what not to do after the wedding: 10 rules

At some point, the relationship ends up at that stage when you seem to be already a family, but you didn’t have a cool white dress, a cool party with friends and you didn’t go anywhere. The question is, where is justice in this world? If the feeling of “it’s time to get married” is rolling in more and more often, and your head is replaying how he proposes to you right on Valentine’s Day, it is important to finally weigh everything.

Stage 4 - Empty nest and feeling of emptiness

All these years you lived for the sake of your children. And now your chicks have scattered to their families, their rooms are empty, and you feel out of place.

No matter how much melancholy torments you, let go of your children calmly and relax. Start living for yourself! You put your children on their feet, raised them, helped as much as you could, and invested everything you were rich in in every sense.

It's time to think about your personal life. Now you have time for it. Now is the time to take a second wind and remember that you are not yet a couple of decrepit old men.

• Give me a second honeymoon! Go where you both wanted most all these years.
• Finally, find a common activity that will be interesting to both of you: fishing, a joint workshop in a vacant room, going to theaters with dinners on the roofs, traveling, dancing, tennis, etc. You never know how much entertainment there is in the world!
• Learn to live without children. All those years, children tied you tightly, kept you from rash actions, forced you to control yourself. Now this “airbag” is gone. But you're not strangers, are you? After all, after the wedding (and before it), you somehow lived together and felt quite comfortable. It's time to remember what "two" is! And the best part is that you don’t have to rush anywhere. You have already done the main thing in your life, and now you can simply love and enjoy every day that you spend together.

Wait and arrange wedding photos

We are talking about photos from the celebration itself. From hundreds of photographs, we have to select several dozen and from them create the first joint album. Don't forget: this thing will wait for your grandchildren and great-grandchildren, so take the matter seriously. Your family and friends are looking forward to your wedding photos. You can post the best pictures on social networks or send them to your loved ones by e-mail. Believe me, they will leave new positive impressions and make the participants of the celebration experience good emotions once again.

Another important point. If you do not create an album or book with memorable photographs immediately after a celebration or a joint trip, the photographs will most likely remain on digital media. Don't want to do it yourself? Order a service in the salon.

There is no heaven in a hut

Marrying a free artist without a regular income, his bride could not help but understand that he would not be able to fully provide for his family. Nevertheless, she chose him. During the candy-bouquet period, it seemed to her that mutual love would be enough for them to be happy. A certain period of time passes (usually 1 year, and sometimes even less - several months), and the lack of stability begins to depress her. The man is accused by his wife of all sins, but mainly of stealing the best years of her life. An absurd situation, isn't it? The husband leads his usual lifestyle, and the wife dramatically changes her attitude towards him. It turns out that the reason is not in his behavior, but in her thoughts.

You can save such a marriage, if, of course, there is such a desire, in two ways:

• Accept the situation as it is . Many women honestly admit that from a material point of view, the husband does not have enough stars in the sky, but he is kind, understanding, a good father for their child, etc.
• Take financial responsibility . Not all wives are ready for this, but many are quite happy to take on the role of breadwinner, while the husband takes care of the house and looks after the children.

If both options do not suit you, scandals in the family will continue as long as the marriage itself lasts. What is more important to you - personal happiness or material stability - this is already a matter of priorities that need to be set if money and love are incompatible in your case.

Got married? 5 rules in short

Don't attack the farm like crazy. You will soon get tired of washing the floors twice a day and twisting pickles, but he doesn’t understand your games of mother and daughter and will quickly get used to it.
Then you will swear over every unironed shirt. Think twice about big purchases. Especially on credit.

Don't try to be his mother's best friend. You'll screw it up. No revelations, tears on the shoulder and discussions of the behavior of her precious son. Smooth official relations: Lidia Nikolaevna, here are flowers, here are perfumes, here is a house, here is a threshold, very tasty borscht. All. And yes, don't call her mom.

Don't get matching tattoos. Or at least large paired tattoos. Or at least large couple tattoos indicating that you cannot live without your husband. The ring can be removed, but the tattoo with the wedding date in words will then have to be filled in with black.

Never end a relationship “forever” because of violent scandals. Only interrupt forever if you don't care anymore. Only when all his attempts to cause a scandal cause you only dull irritation.

Be tolerant, don’t ruin your life:

1. quarrels for the sake of self-affirmation (“how could he treat ME like that”, “he doesn’t consider ME at all”). You knew what you were getting into, and if you didn’t, that means you’re a fool, and that serves you right;
2. quarrels over relatives. Bad, but theirs;
3. petty quarrels. This is your “could you have taken a normal-colored napkin?!” That's just funny;
4. drunken quarrels;
5. quarrels over an unclosed tube of toothpaste.

Two years later you will remember all these quarrels with bewilderment - two hours of hysteria with drooling and wheezing over an unwashed cup is not worth it.

Why do family relationships deteriorate?

The breakdown of early marriages is a common thing, and the cliched phrase “They didn’t get along” does not reveal the true reasons for divorces, but in essence there are two of them:

• Unjustified expectations . In a state of love, the guy and the girl did not notice each other’s shortcomings, but after some time, the character traits, habits, or lifestyle of the once loved one became unacceptable for one of them;
• Outdated stereotypes and unnecessary restrictions . People do not live the way they want, but according to the rules imposed by the public, and first of all, by their closest relatives. Everything they do happens not because they want to, but because “it’s the right way.”

Both reasons boil down to one, basic one - people refuse to accept each other as they are. This sounds a little ridiculous, because before the wedding both were happy with everything. Oddly enough, very often those behavior traits that at one time seemed attractive to us begin to irritate a loved one.

It is important to understand that a popular beauty, even after marriage, will please not only her husband, and with a temperamental man, the young wife will not only have fantastic sex, but also a stormy showdown. Only a realistic assessment of the situation can save a sinking ship. Admit it to yourself honestly - your spouse was the way he is before the wedding, you just saw him in a slightly different light. The person is not to blame for this, and if by and large you don’t feel so bad with him, maybe you should be more tolerant of him?

Accept status and enjoy family everyday life

Tune in that a happy life lies ahead.
There is no need to be afraid of a new status. The magic has not ended, just pleasant moments will begin to dissolve in everyday life. Start planning for the future. Get involved in renovations, talk about children, share with each other ideas for arranging a family nest. Now consider personal space as a place for two. Leave a request Wedding Private event Birthday/anniversary Graduation Corporate party Reception Conference/forum Charity evening Romantic dinner Photo shoot Excursions Office rental

Thank the guests and organizers

Friends and relatives are sensitive to wedding invitations. Letters of gratitude will bring them no less pleasant emotions.

Believe me, in addition to gifts, the guests also had to spend money: on outfits and shoes, travel, hairstyle, accessories. They were next to you, supported you, shared joy on the first main day of your life together. Now it is important for them to hear that you are grateful for this.

Write cards to thank each guest. Don’t forget about “feedback” to the organizers and specialists. Write a positive review of the wedding restaurant: this is also very important for them for promotion.

How to keep peace in the family

If you have noticed, stronger marriages are found among calm people, with a loyal attitude towards others. They are more tolerant of other people's weaknesses and do not deny their own imperfections. A self-respecting person recognizes his lover’s right to individuality and does not impose his desires on him. With this attitude towards your partner, you can live in harmony even if, apart from mutual feelings, nothing else unites you.

You don't have to be the same

If there are no common interests, and attempts to find them have not been successful, it’s time to stop. Your actions should be aimed at finding comfort, and not at creating the appearance of an ideal family. Each person has his own type of temperament, and if a struggle for power begins in the house, it is important to understand that one of the spouses will be morally suppressed as a result, and the second, the dominant one, will lose the trust of the other half thanks to his “victory.”

Very often you can find a union between an introvert and an extrovert, that is, a marriage between a homebody and a sociable person. If neither of them insists on relaxing together, each of this couple will be comfortable, but if one of them manages to subjugate the other to his will, both can only sympathize.

Advice from elders is often harmful

Many parents consider themselves to have the right to interfere in the lives of their children even after they get married, but acting for the good, they often cause harm to the newlyweds’ relationship. Even if the family, for example the bride, was exemplary by the standards of that time, the girl should not adopt the model of the relationship between her father and mother. Her parents lived completely differently, met under different circumstances, and differ in character from her and her chosen one. Any situation is individual, so someone else’s experience can give some clues, but will not become a template for the relationship of young spouses.

Don't demand too much

Dictating terms and setting ultimatums is much easier than seeking compromises. Emotional blackmail, oddly enough, sometimes works, but it does not add love and understanding to the couple. If your demands are not determined by common sense (when, for example, we are talking about a dangerous occupation of a loved one), but by your desire to remake this person in your own way, you risk creating such psychological tension in the house that will completely ruin your relationship with your spouse.

By accepting your husband as he is, you maintain peace in the house and protect your nervous system. This is not about permissiveness and disrespectful attitude on his part towards you, but about his lifestyle in general. You may not be delighted with his friends, habits and main activity, but if all this does not harm your relationship in any way, then why quarrel?

If the cause of the conflicts is serious enough, try to mentally highlight your husband's biggest shortcoming, and then remember his strengths. It’s surprising, but a person’s positive qualities are often expressed in the absence of negative ones. For some, they manifest themselves in a tolerant attitude towards their wife, whose character leaves much to be desired, for others - in the ability to give the woman they love stability and a quiet life, for others - in the absence of the desire to flirt with the entire female population...

The child will take first place

In general, for a normal person, he always comes first, and only then everyone else. When a family is created, the first favorite place after yourself is your partner, your other half, your happiness and everything else.

And then children appear and become more important, more important, more important. That's probably right. Maybe this is what nature intended. Maybe it's just the anomaly that's getting in the way. Be that as it may, it is difficult to accept two facts:

• Your loved one is no longer number one for you.
• You are not number one for your loved one.

No, your feelings don’t change, they even become stronger and stronger, seriously. It’s just that each of you now has a child, and this becomes more important.

Where does romance go?

From a scientific point of view, falling in love is a biochemical process in the body during which a person’s behavior changes as follows:

• Heart rate increases;
• A person is thrown into heat and cold;
• Partial loss of appetite;
• There is a feeling of flight and a desire to “move mountains”;
• A person becomes distracted and finds it difficult to concentrate on anything;
• Tolerance towards people appears, irritability disappears;
• Hidden talents awaken;
• A person begins to perform actions that are unusual for him.

As you understand, if a person is under the influence of hormonal surges for a long time, this will negatively affect his health, both physical and mental.
Falling in love ends sooner or later, and there are two options left for the further development of the relationship - either the person completely cools off towards the partner, or becomes close to him in spirit. The second option can be characterized as a more serious and balanced feeling, and it is precisely this behavior that can be confidently called love. It is impossible to constantly be at the peak of emotions, and if the feeling of love grows into something more, the couple becomes truly happy. Passion subsides over the years, but not for the reason that your loved one has become less dear to you. The emotional outbursts that accompany falling in love lead to an acceleration of the work of many body systems, and a person experiences a surge of strength due to an increased amount of joy hormones. At the same time, he feels cheerful, and he has the feeling that sleep and proper nutrition have lost their importance. A person may not eat, but not feel hungry; he may not sleep, but not feel tired. The body is on the verge of exhaustion, so the brain is forced to protect its loving owner and “press pause” in time. If this had not happened, the life expectancy of people on earth would have been shortened by at least a third.

Throw a party for friends

If the banquet hall for the wedding was booked for a limited number of guests, close relatives and “important” acquaintances, the newlyweds are simply obliged to hold a fun party for friends after the fact. This can be done quite inexpensively by organizing a buffet and providing a place for competitions and dances. The party solves another problem: where to put the bride’s bouquet after the wedding. As a popular entertainment, the bride can throw her bouquet into the crowd of bridesmaids, thereby giving rise to funny jokes and romantic hints.

Replacement of international passport

You will need:

• Russian passport;
• application for a foreign passport;
• 2 photos;
• receipt of payment of state duty;
• old passport.

According to our legislation, a foreign passport must be changed when a surname changes. The state fee will be the same as for the production of a new document. The receipt procedure also remains unchanged.

Fill out the application and submit the entire package of documents to an employee of the Federal Migration Service.