First wedding night in Islam: customs
The religious movement of Islam is popular among many nationalities. Currently, more and more people are joining this belief.
Such wide popularity is explained by the fact that Islam has clear laws and prohibitions that allow one to grow and develop as a spiritual and highly moral person. This applies to both ordinary and family wedding life.
Muslim customs
Previously, there was a custom according to which, after the first wedding night, a white sheet with traces of blood was taken out. This testified to the girl’s purity. Currently, this is considered an outdated tradition that no one adheres to.
The girl and the boy remain together on their wedding night only after the beautiful lady brings her entire dowry to her husband. Interestingly, by the first night she should have accumulated approximately 40 sets of blankets, pillows and bed linens. Moreover, each of these sets must have handmade embroidery.
Why are Arab women afraid of their wedding night?
Before the actual act of intimacy, young spouses are required to read two prayers. In the first, they ask God for blessings. In the second prayer, the husband and wife calm down and relax a little. It is necessary not to be very tense on this day.
In any nationality, the young bride and groom must be sober before an important event in their lives. Immediately before intimacy, the man gives the woman a glass of milk and a cup of honey, which will symbolize health and a happy, sweet life.
Wedding night in the Caucasus
Everyone knows that the man is in charge in the Caucasus. At the same time, he has a dominant role not only in everyday life, but also in bed. Since all girls getting married are virgins, they behave quite modestly and intelligently. Beautiful girls are shy, not knowing how to behave with a man. Here the young man must take charge.
This is interesting: What are the customs of the first wedding night among different nations?
He is forbidden to take his wife by force. He should be incredibly affectionate and gentle. It is believed that it is the first wedding night that determines how good and harmonious a married couple’s sex life will be. Of course, a girl should not deny her man anything.
But at the same time, she may become averse to sex due to her husband’s inept actions. That is why the first and main task of any spouse is to make the woman as supportive as possible. And this can be achieved with the help of basic affection and care.
Chechens' first wedding night
The timing of the first wedding night is noteworthy. It is permissible to organize it only on the third day of the wedding. Accordingly, people drink and party for several days, and after that the first wedding night can be officially organized. The wedding night among the Chechens is an important rite before starting their life together.
The bride should be taken to the bedroom by her married friends to help her prepare for her wedding night. At this time, the man reads the Koran, after which he puts on a special traditional costume. This outfit is given to him by the bride's relatives as a sign of respect and special veneration.
After a man has read the prayer, he must close the book and begin sexual intercourse. All this time, the bride dutifully waits for her chosen one.
At the same time, in Chechnya there is still a widespread custom according to which young people do not even know each other before the wedding. Such couples are allowed to do without intimacy on this night. If they mutually desire, they can get acquainted and communicate quite closely in private.
How do they spend their wedding night in Dagestan?
In some ancient villages of Dagestan, ancient customs still exist. According to them, a woman and a man came together in a fight. The one who won and was considered the winner. At the same time, it cannot be said that women have always been the weaker sex. Often she could confront her lover on the same level.
This is interesting: How is the wedding night in India?
Before the night itself, the woman was put on special clothes, which had many knots on them. The man's task was to untie all the existing knots. Men were prohibited from using daggers and other sharp objects. The wedding night in Dagestan is an important stage after the wedding.
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Respect for the girl subsequently depended on how long she managed to hold out. As soon as the man untied the last knot, he could take possession of the girl. Often the fight ended in a draw on the first night, then the same thing awaited everyone on the second.
Only spouses could be in the room; no one else was allowed to enter the room.
The sacrament of the first wedding night among the Arabs
Arabs take the issue of the wedding night seriously. For them, the innocence and chastity of a girl is of great importance. Along with the joy of marriage, every young lady experiences fear of the sacrament of the first wedding night. According to statistics, most Arab women are afraid of physiological intimacy because they do not understand what it is and what it will lead to.
The problem of the first wedding night is quite acute. It is with this that they turn to famous psychologists and therapists. The reason lies in the secrecy and isolation of friends and relatives. It is strictly forbidden to tell how the first intimacy went even to the closest people.
This is a completely normal practice that prohibits discussing family relationships. This is what is recognized in the Islamic concept of modesty. This gives rise to great fear among brides.
In fact, there is nothing scary or frightening about the first intimacy of Arab families. The horror arises due to the young ladies’ ignorance.
Azerbaijanis' first wedding night
Muslim wedding night.
Egnya becomes popular among Azerbaijanis on the first wedding night. This is a special figure that carries high significance in the life of every young family. Yegnya explains sex education to young people and the need for their wedding night. This is an experienced person who explains to both the man and the girl how to behave during the first intimacy.
This is interesting: How to make the first wedding night after the wedding memorable?
After the first wedding night, Yegnya looks at the sheet and looks for traces of blood. If she doesn’t find them, she first informs the man about it. The husband already decides what to do with the bride. He can forgive her and continue to live with her, or he can kick her out of the house in shame.
Interesting Facts
Surprisingly, most families do not even engage in sexual intimacy on their wedding night. As a rule, this is a boy and a girl who are complete strangers to each other. Accordingly, none of them has the desire to immediately get closer so quickly. This step is especially difficult for girls. It is not uncommon for wives to undress in front of their husbands only weeks after their wedding.
If during the wedding ceremony the bride has her critical days, then all intimacy is postponed. A man is prohibited from harassing a woman, as this is punishable.
The bride and groom try to decorate and diversify their outfit as much as possible. It is believed that richly embroidered and decorated clothes fuel interest in each other. Often the bedroom itself, where the first intimacy takes place, is furnished with original decoration.
After the official marriage ceremony, a man must have sexual intimacy with his woman at least once every 4 months.
In the event that this is not the first marriage for a woman and a man, then they spend 3 nights in a row. If, however, the wedding takes place for the first time, then the number of nights increases to 7.
Evgenia Dzhashakueva: “I perceive the Karachay people as the “intelligentsia of the mountains””
Interethnic marriages are considered one of the foundations of multinational Russia. Today's interlocutor of Vestnik Kavkaza is Evgenia Dzhashakueva from Elektrostal, a graduate of the Moscow State University of Geodesy and Cartography, a lover of horse riding, married to a Karachay.
— How did your family history begin?
— I lived and worked in Moscow, worked at an equestrian club, and decided to spend my vacation on a horseback riding trip through the Caucasus Mountains. There I noticed one of the local instructors, Jashar. We were brought together by the mountain air, intimate conversations at campfires, and the beauty and wildness of nature. I returned to Moscow with a clear understanding that this campaign would have a continuation. For about two years, Jashar and I went to visit each other, but when we decided to get married, we were faced with a lack of understanding from our relatives. My parents believed that our relationship was not serious, and the very idea of getting married to a man from the Caucasus embarrassed them very much. Jashar's relatives also did not show understanding. His aunt, who lives with her family in Moscow, helped, praising me to the relatives of my future husband in the best traditions of Caucasian generosity.
— Did you have a real Karachai wedding? How do Karachai weddings differ from Russian ones?
— Our wedding took place according to Karachay customs. The date of the celebration was set after the holiday of Kurban Bayram. In Karachay culture, weddings occupy a special place. The bride's parents begin to prepare for her when the girl turns 10: they negotiate with the parents of the future groom and begin to prepare a dowry.
Another interesting feature of a Karachay wedding is the bride’s wedding procession, which is taken to the groom’s house along the most winding route, constantly stopping and dancing, thus showing everyone that there is joy in the house.
When the car with the bride drives into the groom's yard, she is met by relatives who begin bargaining for the bride, and the bargaining can sometimes be fierce. Only after both parties are satisfied is the bride allowed to exit the car. Surrounded by relatives and dancing guests, she is escorted to a separate room, which is called the “bride’s corner,” where she remains throughout the celebration.
The acquaintance of the bride with the elder of the family is considered a special ritual. In my case it was my father-in-law. My mother-in-law and my older brother’s wife took me to him, after covering me with several scarves. This ritual is called "Allagan Ade". It symbolizes that a girl is brought into the house, whose purity and beauty are a treasure. Therefore, she is hidden like a jewel from the prying eyes of numerous guests, and only the elder family is allowed to look at her face... Grandfather took off all my scarves and in the Karachai language uttered the simplest, most gentle and warm words, meaning that from now on his family will even more beautiful. The co-women helped me tie a national scarf. This is how I became a member of the Dzhashakuev family.
The Karachay people have another very wise tradition - the youngest son always remains to live in his parents’ house and bears full responsibility for them. Considering that my husband is the youngest of three brothers, I didn’t have much choice. I moved to Karachay-Cherkessia, to the village of Khumara, to live, love and be happy there. Now I am happy that my child lives surrounded by relatives, and we have become part of the Caucasus.
— Which responsibilities in your home are considered feminine and which are considered masculine?
— I have traditional women’s responsibilities: cooking, keeping the house in order, comfort, looking after my daughter and taking care of men. Karachay women traditionally take care of the housework, while the man is the master of the house and the breadwinner. It is interesting that among the Karachais, milking a cow is considered a man’s job. Women are only involved in milk processing.
— Should a woman wear a headscarf in public places?
— The scarf is a tribute to traditions that are observed on holidays and mournful dates. I don't wear a headscarf in everyday life. I have no such responsibility.
— What features of the Karachai mentality would you note?
— Karachays are very beautiful people, they have expressive faces and big, kind eyes. Like all the peoples of the Caucasus, they are characterized by the proud character of freedom-loving mountaineers, independent and independent. In the Karachay tradition, great attention is paid to cleanliness and decency. I perceive the Karachay people as the “intelligentsia of the mountains.”
-What do you miss most here?
- Communication with old friends. We communicate online and share our impressions. I never miss an opportunity to boast that I am happy living in a Karachai family.
— Do Karachay women go to beauty salons?
“At first it was surprising to me that an ordinary trip to the store here should be accompanied by applying makeup and carefully selecting clothes. The Karachay girl is very demanding, first of all, of herself, because she is a potential bride who can be seen by the relatives of the future groom. An unmarried girl is the face of the family, which means she has a special responsibility. I have two wardrobes, one for living in the village, the other for work trips to Moscow.
— Where is it better to give birth to a child – in Moscow or in your village?
— Our daughter was born in Moscow, but after a month and a half we moved to the village, to the house of my husband’s parents. When I saw how my mother-in-law took her granddaughter in her arms, how she held and hugged her, I immediately realized that they know how to treat children here. Children are raised here not as it is written in books, not as popular bloggers tell. Everything is real here: from the clean air and fresh milk, to the tender hugs of a grandmother who bore and raised her sons and daughters. My mother-in-law's eyes are always a little moist. She says that these are not tears, that the love for our large family is reflected in the eyes. This is real happiness.
In Karachay culture, a special place is occupied by the cradle for a baby - beshik. Among the Karachays, it is customary to swaddle a child tightly and not take it out into the street. But I was adamant on this issue, and in infancy my daughter slept in ordinary cradles in the courtyard of our house. My father-in-law was unhappy, and my mother-in-law, seeing my maternal care, realized that she should give in here. True, the reciprocal concession was not long in coming: here it is believed that in order for a girl to grow beautiful hair, she must be shaved at the age of one. My attempts to explain that this procedure does not affect the formation of hair follicles were unsuccessful.
— What stereotype about Karachais would you like to dispel?
“The Karachais opened a new life for me, in which the duty of the youngest son is to decorate the old age of his parents, where the main value is family, where endurance and love of freedom, love of nature and unpretentiousness are valued, where relations between people are as transparent as the waters of Teberda.
