A Muslim wedding is a very colorful celebration, rich in Islamic customs. And even though today newlyweds do not follow all the traditions, some of them are still strictly observed. This applies, first of all, to first marital intimacy. What are the features and secrets of the first wedding night, as well as how it goes - the portal svadbagolik.ru will tell you about this.
Intimacy and conception
If a couple wants to conceive a baby of a certain gender , they need to count how many days have passed since menstruation. If less than five , a boy will be born, and if from five to eight , a girl will be born. Not only what the child will look like, but also whether he will be born healthy depends on whether the spouses comply with the norms established by etiquette
The best time to conceive is considered Monday night . The baby who is born after intimacy on this day should become a good reciter of the Koran . For those who were conceived on Tuesday night, Allah has prepared generosity and nobility . If conception occurred on Thursday before the midday prayer, the baby will become a scientist , whom the shaitan will fear. If you want your son or daughter to be discerning and diligent , sexual intercourse should occur on Friday night. Conception on Friday, but before prayer, promises the baby a happy life .
On your marks! Attention! March!
After the bride is ready, the groom's brother goes after her, takes her hand and leads her out of the room. But it was not there! The bride's sister is blocking his way, so he has to pay him off! That's it - the road is clear! The brother takes the bride out of the house, sits in the front seat, and the groom's girlfriend and sister sit in the car with her.
A Chechen bride is taken out of her home.
The motorcade starts moving - and then the racing begins! Each of the numerous cars tries to take a place behind the bride's car. This is both prestigious and profitable - an expensive prize awaits such reckless people in the groom’s house: for example, a carpet or a separate table of honor.
But don’t speed up too much: at any moment, adults or children may block the road, demanding payment for the journey. After all, a Chechen wedding is a holiday for everyone!
The groom's mother meets the bride at the house, helps her get out of the car and gives her a bite of candy or some other sweet, then takes a bite herself. At this moment, shots and even machine gun fire are heard. This kind of recklessness has now turned into real fun.
In fact, initially loud sounds were used to scare away evil spirits from the house, but previously it was enough to fire a couple of shots.
First wedding night in Islam: customs
The wedding night takes place according to the rules of Sharia (norms for Muslims, enshrined in the Koran). Fortunately, the demonstration of a sheet after the intimacy of the newlyweds, to reveal the virginity of the bride, is nothing more than remnants of long-standing Islamic traditions and practically does not occur in our time. However, a number of customs before the first wedding night of newlyweds are mandatory.
- After the wedding and before the wedding night, Muslims perform certain customs. The newlyweds can be left alone and enjoy each other only when the bride brings the necessary things to her husband, including the dowry. An interesting fact is that a girl’s dowry is collected from an early age and it should include at least forty blankets and pillows, decorated with their own hands.
- Before the first wedding night, Muslims in Islam, according to the rule, read two prayers - the rak'ah of nafil prayer, in which they ask God to bless their marriage. It is believed that reciting namaz has a strong psychological effect. This will help the young people calm down and get a little distracted.
- The husband must present his wife with an abundance of sweets and drinks, including milk and honey. Of course, according to Islam, drinks should be non-alcoholic, and newlyweds should be sober before their wedding night.
- Before the wedding night in Islam, the husband must touch his wife's forehead with his hand and say a prayer - basmala, in which he asks Allah to protect his wife and future children from evil.
- Next, it's a matter of tolerance and delicacy. The first wedding night for Muslims should begin with tenderness and affection. It is not easy for a newly-made wife to leave her parents’ home, start a new life and submit to a man. Shyness is normal for Muslim newlyweds. A man needs to win over his newly-made wife. A woman should never push her husband away, ignore her or be cold. Rudeness and tactlessness of a man are also unacceptable. Due to the possible painful experience, the spouse may develop a fear of intimacy in the future. Therefore, by showing affection and taking care of his wife on their wedding night, the husband makes a huge contribution to their future together.
- After intimate relationships, it is advisable for young people to swim. The next morning, after the wedding night, the newlyweds perform a ritual of ablution. Ablution is also carried out if the young people decide to repeat sexual intercourse. Then the table is set, most often relatives are invited.
Prayer
In order for their life together to be successful and their union to be crowned with the birth of children, the husband, left alone with his wife, must first of all read a prayer request (dua). Having pronounced the sacred phrase “Bismillah” and placing his palm on his wife’s forehead, he must say the following words: “Oh, Allah! I ask You for her good, and for the good of her nature. And I resort to Your protection from her evil and from the evil of her nature" (Abu Dawud, Nikah, 46).
After this, the newlyweds should perform a common two-rakah prayer, and, directing their thoughts to the Creator, ask him: “O Allah, bless me in my relationship with my wife (husband) and her (him) in my relationship. O Allah, establish goodness between us and separate us kindly during separation!” At the same time, the man leads his wife, which symbolizes her humility and obedience.
It is believed that namaz has a calming psychological effect on newlyweds, helping them cope with the natural anxiety before intimacy.
And immediately before an intimate relationship, men are recommended to read the dua: “O Allah, take Satan away from us, and take Satan away from the child with whom You will give us! (al-Bukhari).
How to spend a wedding night in Dagestan
From an early age in Dagestan, girls are prepared for their wedding night, or rather for battles, which are still carried out in some villages. The wedding night proves that the man who conquered the woman is worthy of her. It could lead to abrasions, scratches and other things. Relatives could only eavesdrop or spy on this action.
The girl was shaved bald, and after that fat was applied to her entire body. The clothes had many knots that the groom had to untie during the battle. As long as the bride could defend herself, she was respected. The use of any bladed weapon proved a man's weakness and was not encouraged.
It happened that a man did not win - then the action was postponed for another day.
Chechen wedding: hello, how much is the bride?
And the celebration begins from the groom's house. It is here that an honorary delegation gathers, whose mission is to bring the bride to her new home.
The wedding cortege is formed from a very large number of cars, the more the better. Mostly for the bride. The wisest of the wisest - the old men - set off on the journey, and the groom's sister and the mullah (Muslim priest) always go with them.
This is one of the options for decorating cars at Chechen weddings.
In theory, when the guests arrive, the bride should be sitting in all her glory with her suitcases packed and ready, already prepared. But, as usual, the girls are late, so the old men gather in a separate room and have leisurely conversations.
When the bride is finally “in parade,” she is ransomed. The amount of dowry is determined by the mullah. The groom's relatives may give more, thereby emphasizing their good intentions and the importance of their relationship to the bride's family. After this, the mullah goes to the bride’s room, where, in the presence of two adult married women, he conducts the “marriage” ceremony.
The next task of the mullah is the same procedure only with the groom, two men act as witnesses, and here it doesn’t matter whether they are married or not. It is advisable to do this before the bride steps into her betrothed’s house. After which the newlyweds are considered married.
Permitted poses in Islam
The Koran describes three postures that a person takes for convenience - a sitting position (including squatting), lying and standing . If you follow the rules established for copulation, then you can use any of these provisions. However, performing sexual intercourse while standing is inconvenient and, moreover, not good for health.
Therefore, it is better to use one of the other poses - sitting or lying down. However, there are some nuances that should also be taken into account. There is the following saying in the Koran:
“He is the One who created you from one man. He created a wife out of him so that he could find peace in her. When he covered her, she bore a light burden.”
The phrase should be understood in such a way that the wife should lie on her back, and the husband should be on her.
The hadith also describes another way of intimacy:
“When one of you sits between the four parts of a woman and then penetrates her...”
This can be interpreted in different ways. Scientists agree that this refers to a position in which the woman raises her legs bent at the knees, and the husband squats.
Other positions in which both spouses will be comfortable are not prohibited. Thus, a case is described when Hazrat Umar copulated with his wife from behind (through the vagina, without anal penetration). A companion of the Prophet Muhammad decided that he had done something forbidden. After this, the verses of the Koran were sent:
“Your wives are arable land for you. Come to your arable land whenever and however you wish.”
From this it becomes clear that sexual intercourse can be performed from different positions, the main thing is that it be traditional.
Appearance
Cloth
The main elements of the Karachai men's national costume are:
- Shirt in the form of a tunic.
- Kelek, which is sewn from black or white fabric. The festive version can be striped.
- Chepken - outerwear, which is now called Circassian. This is primarily a festive type of clothing made from cloth. Chepken was decorated with silver coins. A characteristic feature of this item of clothing were special cutouts in which charges were stored. They are called gazyrs.
- The Karachai belt is usually narrow, made of leather, and decorated with silver plaques. A belt is always an important element of clothing; a man is not supposed to appear in public without it.
Pants in a traditional Karachai costume are called kenchek. They are slightly narrowed and have a wide wedge. Leggings are put on over them, which can reach the knees. The headdress is a papakha hat, characteristic of many Caucasian peoples. On holidays they wear an astrakhan hat, and on a hike they wear a burka. Shoes are made from rawhide and are worn almost all year round. With the onset of winter, felt boots are worn.
Women's clothing had its own characteristics. Girls wore dresses decorated with yarn. The festive dress was made of velvet; as a rule, it was dark red in color. Such dresses were decorated with embroidery made of gold threads. The kamar belt was considered the most expensive, and the cap looked no less luxurious.
Wedding ceremonies
The wedding begins at the bride's house and lasts the whole day. Traditional Azerbaijani wedding songs are played. But only relatives of the groom can dance with the bride. All other guests must pay by placing money in the cauldron before starting to eat. In the evening, the groom's relatives leave the bride's house, and the feast continues without their participation.
Seeing off the bride is also a very beautiful ceremony. The girl sits in a locked room, waiting for the groom's guests to receive the treasured key by giving a gift. Then the parents tie a red ribbon around the girl’s waist, blessing her for family life, and put on a scarf.
Congratulations at an Azerbaijani wedding can also come in the form of a beautiful toast with deep meaning, or the performance of a traditional song or dance. Azerbaijani dances at weddings are incredibly beautiful. Traditional songs are played at the festival, so every Azerbaijani knows how to dance to them from childhood. A special program is drawn up, which includes both songs and dances.
Matchmaking
The decision to marry is traditionally made by the head of the family - the father. Very often these people are not guided by the idea of a happy family life for their child. For example, if this very head of the family owes someone a large sum, then he, without any remorse, can give his beautiful daughter in marriage to the debtor in order to subsequently write off the debt. Or, without looking for benefits, give up your daughter or son for the first successful passion you come across, just to quickly “save” them into adulthood.
Women in the UAE live completely separately from men, communicating only with their closest relatives, so it is not strange that parents are involved in selecting a couple. The Arabs are accustomed to such customs, no matter how oppressive they may seem to adherents of other religions.
Often Muslims adhere to an ancient custom when a girl should not see her future husband before the wedding, much less talk to him. All she can count on is to accidentally see him from the window, and then she should not tell anyone about it.
Chechen wedding: bride, Come to the corner, quickly!
The groom's brother takes the bride into the house and puts her in the most honorable place - in the corner! Yes, this is where she will spend her most important day in her life.
In order for a son to be born first in the family, a boy is brought to the bride, she takes him in her arms, pats his cheeks, kisses him and lets him go, rewarding him with a gift or money.
The Chechen bride stands with her head down in the corner of the room.
The feast begins, everyone congratulates the groom's parents, wishes for more grandchildren and all sorts of blessings in general. Everyone comes to a Chechen wedding - no invitations. As soon as the bride enters the house, dancing begins.
But here, too, everything is not so simple. The improvised dance floor is divided into two parts: a semicircle for men, a semicircle for women. A couple dances in the center, chosen by a man who takes on the role of “dance toastmaster.”
A Chechen bride stands modestly in a dance circle.
All this time, the bride stands like a statue in the corner: she is not allowed to sit in the presence of her elders. Women come up to her and look under the veil. After some time, the groom's mother raises her veil. Next to the bride is a bridesmaid who is allowed to sit and eat. After some time, she is given a gift and taken home.
They are famous for their traditions, and here the next test for the bride is the ritual of “untying the tongue.” The men approach the girl, bombard her with jokes and ask the bride to bring her water. She must break for a long time and be laconic.
The stingy “enjoy your drink” is the loosening of the tongue. For this, the man must give the bride money, otherwise she may not talk to him for the rest of her days (I must say that such cases do happen). In the end, the girl collects a decent amount of money, which she, as a rule, gives to her mother-in-law.
Wedding fun in Chechnya lasts up to three days.
Muslims' first wedding night: interesting facts
In addition to Islamic customs, the celebration of the first wedding night among Muslims has a number of additions that make the responsibilities of the spouses more flexible. This makes life easier for spouses in some current situations, namely:
- Few realize that sex on the first wedding night is not obligatory for Muslims. After the wedding, the relationship between the spouses is their own matter. At first, the wife may not even undress in front of her husband. And their relationship can come down to conversations and household chores. Such norms are explained by the fact that if a Muslim marriage is performed according to all the rules, the young people are completely unfamiliar with each other. Naturally, in such an environment, you first need to overcome embarrassment and awkwardness - stock up on time.
- If the bride has critical days on her wedding day, then intimacy on the first wedding night of a Muslim woman is postponed. This is a forbidden action in Shariah, in other words, it is haram.
- Beautiful attire is an integral part of the first wedding night. The luxury of outfits will warm up interest in each other and help put the young people in the right mood. Bright decoration of the room is also welcome.
- According to Sharia, after marriage, the husband undertakes to have sexual intercourse with his wife at least once every four months.
- During marital intimacy, there should be no strangers in the newlyweds’ room; this rule also applies to animals.
- If the young wife is innocent, the husband spends seven nights with her, and if the marriage is not the wife’s first, three nights are enough.
- According to Sharia, the bride must be a virgin before marriage. But if her husband has doubts about her, he cannot think badly of her - this is a sin. It is unacceptable to insult and oppress your spouse solely on the basis of your assumptions.
The first wedding night is the sacrament of two hearts. Despite some strict and unusual Muslim wedding traditions, Sharia maintains trusting and tender relationships between spouses. What interesting traditions do other nations support? You can get acquainted with Indian wedding traditions on our website.
Maiden's honor
In some Muslim countries, the custom of standing outside the bedroom door, contrary to the Koran, is practiced in order to make sure that the bride is innocent. This incorrect habit, as well as the tradition of displaying a sheet with traces of maiden honor, equally violates Islamic etiquette and does not comply with Sharia.
Everything related to issues related to the purity of a girl is a personal matter for the young, and only the husband can make decisions regarding her fate in the event that the fact of her having a premarital affair is revealed. At best, the husband will forgive his wife and not tell anyone about what happened; at worst, he will return her to the parental home in shame.
If on the first night of marriage the bride turns out to be chaste, then the man will be obliged to share the bed with her for the next seven days.
