Parents of the groom at the wedding: main responsibilities and roles

Every parent dreams of one day seeing their grown-up child spread his wings, setting off into a new, adult life. He sincerely wishes happiness and love to his son or daughter, long years of family life. Parents at a wedding are special, the most important people after the newlyweds themselves. Their role cannot be overestimated. This includes family support, participation, and wise advice.

That is why the status of the parents of the bride and groom at a wedding has always been exceptional. And in the modern world, when many newlyweds stand firmly on their feet, earn money on their own and have their own home, it is worth remembering their parents, showing them the respect they deserve. After all, they invested their strength and soul into raising children, caring and mentoring. Who, if not the closest people, can understand in any situation, warm and console? Attention and special attitude towards parents on this bright, solemn day will let them know that they are loved and appreciated. They will be sincerely happy for their grown-up children.

Touching ceremony with a candle

Candle

A ritual with a candle is traditional at Ukrainian weddings. It is held at the end of the banquet. The groom's parents hand over a symbolic candle to the young married couple. In this way, a symbolic amulet is transmitted for the home of a new family, prosperity, peace and happiness. This is carried out by the father of the groom. He is the head of the family and transfers his powers to his son. Now he too will be the head of the newly formed family.

Responsibilities of the father of the bride

The bride's father , called by her newly-made husband with the important word "father-in-law", is the guest of honor at the wedding. At the same time, he is an important character. But first, a little history.

Previously, in Russia there was a custom for husband and wife not only not to prepare for the wedding themselves, but also not to see each other before the wedding. The wedding day was fixed by their fathers. When the groom's parents came to get married, the bride's father set the table for the guests, but the future husband's family brought drinks. After the agreement, the bride's father announced a list of his daughter's dowry. Of course, today times have changed, but if a very young couple is going down the aisle, then the wedding is most often organized for them by their parents.

Father in law at a wedding

How does the father of the bride participate in preparations for the celebration:

Draws up an estimate for the holiday, provides financial assistance to the couple for the wedding, and negotiates with the groom’s family on the distribution of financial costs.
Most often, the future father-in-law is responsible for finding and ordering a banquet hall and cars for the wedding procession.
The father controls the ransom ceremony, monitors the time during the process, and then seats the guests in their cars and checks for the availability of booze.
After the painting, the bride's father congratulates the couple.
When the newlyweds go for a walk, the groom's father-in-law goes to the banquet hall and supervises the preparation for the banquet and the meeting of the newly made husband and wife.
He can also be entrusted with decorating the banquet hall, bringing the wedding cake, and supervising the musicians and toastmaster.
When the newlyweds arrive at the banquet hall, the bride's father meets the guests and introduces them.
He can make sure that there is enough space for everyone at the table.
The bride's father also meets the newlyweds and blesses them.
He also makes the first table speech in honor of the newlyweds.
The father's duties include dancing with his daughter (the third in a row, since her husband invites her to the first, and her father-in-law to the second).
Sometimes the father invites the groom's mother to dance, which indicates the union of the two families.
At the end of the feast, the bride's father says parting words and blesses the children's marriage.

The father of the bride must give a prepared and well-thought-out speech, since he is the one who opens the feast

The main responsibility of a parent at his daughter’s wedding is her support and attention to her.

Mother of the groom's clothes

Stylish mom

The future mother-in-law's outfit should be elegant, but also comfortable. Because you will need to organize a lot at the banquet, including a dance with your son. It should be noted that the outfits of the mothers of the newlyweds should be in harmony with each other. White is excluded because it is the color of the bride. Bright and too flashy outfits should also be put aside.

The role of the groom's father at a wedding

Father-in-law at the wedding
Just like the father of the bride, the father-in-law has a financial role in organizing the wedding. Moreover, most of the costs should be on his part. He is not assigned any special responsibilities in preparing and holding the banquet, but still he must:

invite the bride to dance (after she dances with the groom and father);
say parting words, congratulate the newlyweds on the beginning of their life together;
together with his wife, meet the newly made husband and wife in front of the banquet hall with bread and salt;
at the end of the banquet, the father and mother of the groom give the newlyweds a symbolic candle, which symbolizes the transfer of the hearth from generation to generation.

The father-in-law and his wife have the most important responsibility - moral support, because their child is entering adulthood and he will have to be the head of the family, make important decisions, protect his wife and children. At the banquet, the father-in-law can present the daughter-in-law with a gift - such gold earrings with amethyst and cubic zirconia as a sign of hope for the creation and prosperity of a strong family.

Gold earrings with amethyst and cubic zirconia, Maskom (price on the link)

Wedding organization

The wedding is mainly organized by the bride's parents. But the groom's family only has to worry about renting the premises and the wedding procession.

Also, the mother of the groom can, at her own request, search for a wedding manager and information about the best way to conduct the wedding.

At the banquet, the groom's mother also takes care of the accommodation for family guests. She determines their places at the table. And also monitors the overnight accommodation of out-of-town guests.

What should the mother of the bride do at a wedding?

The mother of the bride has many tasks:

For example, on the wedding day she will need to prepare breakfast for everyone, since it is unlikely that anyone else will have time to do it.
Mom should help the bride get dressed.
She needs to take care of preparing the buffet table - purchase and prepare snacks or entrust this matter to specialists.
Prepare food for stops along the way. It is more convenient to immediately put it into containers.
Stock up on rose petals, rice, millet or coins to shower the newlyweds.
Organize a meeting of guests in the premises for a celebration while the newlyweds are skating.
Ensure timely delivery of the birthday cake.
Keep track of gifts during the celebration.
After the holiday, check that guests have not forgotten things.

Mother-in-law at the wedding
All this should be done by the newly-made mother-in-law. Do you agree that this is not an easy task? Therefore, it is better not to take on additional obligations in the form of holding a celebration.

Wedding Dress

A wedding and wedding signs are one whole, because the solemn event is so significant that you should pay attention to every detail. This also applies to the bride’s wedding dress:

It is recommended that the future wife sew a lovage leaf into her wedding dress to make the love stronger.
No one should be allowed to try on a wedding dress, even after the wedding.
It is believed that the longer the dress, the longer the family life.
A young woman's dress should be one piece, not separate (for example, a corset and a skirt), so that there is no separate life.
Dress and underwear must be white.
A wedding dress should only be worn over the head - not over the legs.
It is recommended to keep the wedding dress for life and not sell it under any circumstances in order to avoid the breakdown of the marriage.

The ritual needs to be revived!

If the parents of the couple themselves received the blessing, it is a little easier for them. You won't have to think about the words for long. How to bless your son before the wedding? Yes, just pass on the parting words heard before your wedding, so to speak, “by inheritance”!

If the parents of the newlyweds did not receive blessings, this is not a problem. You just need to learn a prayer and come up with words of wishes for fidelity, tenderness, love, prosperity, prosperity, etc. In general, everything you need for a happy married life. By blessing their children sincerely and from the heart, parents will give them a feeling of support for many, many years.

Family ties

Many people are interested in who is related to whom in the family after the wedding. The scheme is as follows:

mother of the groom - mother-in-law;
father - father-in-law;
brother - brother-in-law;
sister - sister-in-law;
mother of the bride - mother-in-law;
dad - father-in-law;
the bride's sister is the sister-in-law;
brother - brother-in-law.

The bride becomes a daughter-in-law, and for the husband's father - a daughter-in-law, the groom - a son-in-law. The wife of a sister's brother is called a daughter-in-law, the husband of a sister's wife is called a brother-in-law. Children are grandchildren for newlywed parents, and nephews for brothers and sisters.

What kind of wedding to organize, according to what customs, everyone decides for himself. Nowadays many traditions are borrowed from the West. For example, it looks touching when the groom waits for the bride at the altar, and her father leads her out by the hand. It is convenient when painting is carried out outdoors, where a beautiful arch has been built, and guests are sitting on chairs at this time. Currently, there are no restrictions; old customs are slowly becoming a thing of the past. For example, the bride’s mother doesn’t particularly like the idea of the next day being taken in a cart all over the area, and then thrown into a river or doused with water.

Which shoes should you choose?

For the mother of the groom, there is nothing better than classic pumps . Just remember that an incredibly important and eventful day awaits you ahead. Most likely, you will have to run around a lot, resolving emerging issues and resolving unaccounted factors. Therefore, for the sake of your own legs , limit yourself to a small heel .

Alternative option: prepare several pairs of shoes . Be on parade during the photography and official part of the wedding. In the car, change your shoes to slippers (half an hour of rest will come in handy). In a restaurant, wear nice but comfortable shoes.

What icons will you need?

Let's say the parting words have been prepared. But that's not all. What else would a son’s blessing require before a wedding? Prayer is an obligatory part of the ritual. It is read according to tradition in front of the icons of the Mother of God (usually of Kazan) and the Savior. At the same time, the son needs to kneel.

The Kazan Icon of the Mother of God is one of the most revered images of the Mother of God. Since ancient times, she has been considered the intercessor and patroness of all people. A huge number of amazing salvations and miracles are attributed to her. This icon must be used to bless the newlyweds before the wedding. They pray to the Mother of God for protection of the house from evil forces, for fidelity, for the birth of children.

The icon of the Savior Almighty, or the Savior, is the most common image of Christ. In one hand on it, Jesus holds the Gospel, indicating the right path in life, and with the other hand he blesses the one who looks at the image. They ask the icon for family well-being and happiness. She is the first to be brought into the newlyweds' house.

In a word, icons are a mandatory attribute that accompanies the blessing of a son before the wedding. The prayer is read before one of them or before both. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a wedding couple or a wedding, the main thing is not to forget about it. After the wedding, the newlyweds hang these icons in the honorary “red” corner of their home. This will serve as a reminder of the solemn date for many years.

Three most important points!

Thus, it is necessary to think very carefully about how to bless your son before the wedding. Correctly spoken words - sincere, sincere - will give the newlyweds three very important qualities.

Firstly, parental blessing brings spouses confidence that they will always live in abundance. Secondly, it gives confidence that the newlyweds will protect each other the way their parents protected each other for many years. Thirdly, the spouses will feel unconditional support in all their endeavors and confidence in all their capabilities. Do not forget that female energy is the best assistant in building a future family.

Beautiful evening dresses for my son's wedding

Currently, the choice of evening dresses is huge. Often such things are sold in specialized stores and where wedding dresses are on sale. You can rent an evening dress, but this will not be the best solution, because the whole evening mom will be afraid of getting it dirty or getting caught somewhere.

You can go to the registry office in the morning and wear a long light dress for a walk, and in the evening in a restaurant you can change it to a beautiful evening dress.

If the choice fell on a long dress, then you should not choose it in a rich and rich color, it will be too pretentious. Nowadays, completely lace dresses and models with lace inserts are very popular. An ideal option would be a cocktail dress in noble tones.

Wedding dress style

When choosing a style, you should always take into account the characteristics of a woman’s figure.

If your mother has a slender figure, you can choose a beautiful, fitted dress.
The sheath dress is considered a classic and is perfect when choosing an outfit for your son’s wedding. It can be complemented with stylish accessories to match the dress and look elegant.

If you are planning a wedding, then the dress should be with closed shoulders and below, at least by the palm of your hand, the knees. You can also throw on a shawl or stole.
You should not choose an outfit for your wedding day that is old-fashioned and outdated. If a mother finds it difficult to choose a style, her son and future daughter-in-law can come to her aid. Successful photographs of wedding dresses in fashion magazines and the Internet will also help.

If there is excess weight in the abdominal area, then a dress with a high waist will successfully hide it and emphasize a beautiful chest, even without a neckline.
If you have full hips, it is better to choose an A-line dress that is loose from the waist.

A long dress will solve the problem of ugly legs.
A massive top and wide shoulders perfectly balance fitted dresses with a pleated skirt.
Full arms will be hidden by the presence of sleeves on the dress, a beautiful cape or bolero.

What colors to choose?

Expressive, but not flashy. You need to be noticeable, but avoid color confusion and oversaturation . It is also a good idea to refer to the classic rule for composing ensembles, according to which one outfit should not contain more than 3 shades . When determining specific tones, start from the color type of appearance.

Color types and recommendations:

"Spring" and "summer". Pastel shades are welcome, as they harmonize with light hair, eyes and skin. “Summer” can turn to cooler solutions, “spring” - warmer solutions.
"Winter" and "autumn". This requires depth and color saturation. Allow yourself undiluted, pure colors. For example, having decided on a blue palette, choose sapphire or ultramarine.

Important! Women of the “winter” color type look great in black and white clothes. However, such an ensemble for a wedding is not recommended. And for the sake of improving relationships within the family, it is worth giving the bride the opportunity to be the only woman dressed in white at the evening.

Burgundy, blue and beige are considered very popular and safe options. Useful notes on using clothing in these tones:

dull blue and red strokes can add age;
excessively deep and rich burgundy – provocation, sexual aggression (do you need it at your own son’s wedding?);
You can calm down or complement wine with black (or you can enhance its passionate expression, so be careful);
shade the wine colors according to the strengths of gray, beige and steel (they should be present in small quantities, play the role of a frame, but not the main chord);
the union of white and blue is youthful.

In addition to burgundy and azure, there are other colors worthy of your status. For example, emerald . This solution is primarily for women of the “autumn” color type and mothers who want to look majestic. This color looks great on long dresses and gives them luxury. It harmonizes especially well with velvet.

Important! When composing an ensemble for the mother of the groom, use the “color wheel” (a special device for determining the correct combination of colors and shades. It can be used in three ways. First: take tones from sectors located one after another. Second: take colors that are opposite each other Third: take three colors equidistant from each other (you get an isosceles triangle).

Meeting parents and relatives

When a guy proposes to a girl and she agrees, you need to notify your parents about your decision. Very often, mom and dad observe the relationship from the outside or simply know about it, and now they are about to officially meet. There are no special traditions here, but you need to follow the rules of decency and behave politely.

Choose any convenient time. This usually happens on a weekend. They are having a small celebration. Parents set the table, children arrive with small gifts. They buy cake, sweets, fruits, alcoholic drinks, flowers. In an informal setting, the guy talks about his intentions, and the parents give their consent.

After this, they agree on matchmaking. This is the day when the parents of the bride, groom and close relatives meet. How the event will take place is decided individually. Previously, they would get married on certain days, pronounce phrases, and present symbolic gifts. Now everything is much simpler. Only parents come to matchmaking or take close relatives and godparents with them. The groom gives a bouquet to the bride and her mother.

Parents buy cake, sweets, fruits, champagne. The acquaintance takes place at the festive table. They briefly discuss the wedding and some other important points.

Idea No. 2: Congratulations on your wedding in verse

Every mother wants to say a lot to her son on this important day, but you shouldn’t overload the holiday with long speeches. A congratulatory speech should take no more than 5 minutes, and ideally 3 minutes. You must have time to say the most important words to your children, so be sincere and concise.

If you do not have the gift of eloquence and cannot express your feelings on paper, then ready-made touching wedding wishes in verse would be an excellent solution. There are a lot of interesting options on the Internet, but you can turn to a professional writer-poet who will compose a unique congratulation especially for your son and his chosen one.

Divorced parents of newlyweds at a wedding

Usually the bride and groom want to see both parents at the wedding, even if they are divorced. If the parents separated peacefully and have no complaints against each other, then difficulties are unlikely to arise, and the future married couple can simply prepare two different invitations. But other situations also happen, if the parents are not on very good terms, then this must be taken into account:

Talk to mom and dad before the invitation, discuss the details. Better yet, have dinner all together. But before that, think about whether such a meeting will develop even greater hostility.
If one parent hates the other, then try to explain to him that you want to see both mom and dad at the celebration. Ask to stop hostility for one day and spend it in peace and harmony.
If your parents have significant others, then you should not invite them to the wedding (if you don’t know them, and if it will be unpleasant for the other parent).

Divorced parents at a wedding - remained on good terms.
Usually at the banquet witnesses or parents sit next to the newlyweds. A divorced mom and dad can be placed together if they can communicate peacefully. If you think that this should not be done, then use a fairly common option - place his mother and the bride’s father next to the groom, and her mother and the groom’s father next to the bride.

A wedding is an important day not only for the newlyweds, but also for their parents. Of course, moms and dads want to take part in organizing and celebrating the occasion. If you correctly distribute responsibilities and notify parents about them in advance, then everything will go at the highest level. By the way, a wedding is a good occasion for reconciliation between mom and dad , who have been harboring a grudge for many years.

What is possible and what is not allowed on your wedding day?

Before entering the house, the newlyweds need to break a plate for luck.
The bride is brought into the house in the arms of her legal spouse, so that she can be carried in his arms for the rest of her life.
Throughout the evening, parents should ensure that no one adjusts the young people’s clothes.
The couple should dance at a wedding only together. If a dance with parents is planned, then after it the parents should reunite their children.

If the bride's heel breaks, this means a “limping” family life.
If a dress is torn at a wedding, then there will be an evil mother-in-law.

What clothes do you prefer?

If you are planning a traditional wedding, then immediately abandon casual and business ensembles. Also, you should not wear what you would wear to meet your beloved man. In general, things from a regular wardrobe divided into three groups - for work, for a date, to visit a friend - are not suitable. You need something special that emphasizes your status as mother of the groom .

Dress

At this evening you have the role of a good and successful mother, and not just a woman. Therefore, refrain from the following decisions:

mini;
endless neckline (including on the back);
long slit on the thigh;
transparent fabrics (limited size element may be present).

Important! Be mindful of the time of year. A long dress in the off-season in unsettled weather is beautiful, but one awkward move, and the luxurious outfit will be “decorated” with a scattering of dirty splashes.

Ruffles, frills, sparkles - in this case, not the most successful decor. There are exceptions to the rule, but are you willing to spend time searching? It will take a long time to find a good option among models made of thin knitwear. Reason: an outfit made of this material cannot hide anything . Both the bra strap and the smallest folds of fat will be visible. A lady with curvaceous figures will be completely uncomfortable - the material is not capable of supporting her figure, but will willingly sag under the slightest pressure.

Important!
A little black dress is always appropriate, even at a wedding, no matter what psychics say about it. But in order to avoid misjudging the color palette of the outfit, you will have to complement it with the right accessories. Allow yourself a light clutch and shoes to match the bag, a bright or light cape, a snow-white bolero, a set of pearls (beads, bracelet, earrings, brooch). You don't need to put on all your jewelry at once. Choose one or two and create a look that is joyful, but at the same time reflects your passion for clothing of a certain kind.

Suit with skirt

Avoid the black and white palette and sets that can be seen in the office. Festive notes in the suit you choose should prevail over the “official” look.

Regarding the length of the skirt, the same recommendations apply as for the dress. A short thing will not allow you to be seen as the parent of an adult son. You will appear in the role of a woman, but not a mother. The long one is not suitable for everyone, and more precisely, it is very difficult to choose a good option for short, plump women.

Important! If you refer to a length of 2 fingers above or below the knee, then avoid it in a straight silhouette suit. A slightly tapered hem will help outline the figure and avoid unfeminine age-related shapelessness.

Suit with trousers

There is a sign that mothers of newlyweds should not wear pantsuits to a wedding. Like, this will lead to a breakup. Decide for yourself whether to succumb to this superstition. When taking a pragmatic approach, don't forget to think about the color palette and material . Natural fabrics will help you survive a hot day with dignity, but after several changes of location, telltale “wrinkles” will appear on your clothes. Reason: Cotton, linen and similar fabrics wrinkle quickly.

Synthetics are free from this drawback, but also do not have the advantages of natural materials. There is only one way out of the situation: take a suit that contains both natural and artificial fibers.

Important! A jacket like a classic jacket cannot be worn on a naked body. A silk top or blouse is required. Consider a tunic. But avoid a button-down shirt in a men's cut. Excessive “officiality” combined with a reference to the “garçon” style is not the best solution.