Weddings in the land of the rising sun are always colorful and unique in their own way. The mixture of traditions, religion and new technologies creates an indescribable wedding atmosphere. A Japanese wedding is a deeply thought-out step between two serious people, because according to statistics, most ceremonies take place at the age of 30 or more.
The fact is that only accomplished people who have received an education and have at least a minimum of work experience can get married. Many marriages in Japan are arranged. Let's talk about this and other features of the Japanese wedding ceremony right now.
Historical facts
A Japanese wedding in the 12th century was not the same as it is now. The Japanese were polygamous and had several wives. At the same time, the spouses did not move to live with their husbands, but he visited them when he considered it necessary. Only with the advent of the samurai did men begin to choose only one wife. But here we are not talking about love, since marriages were most often carried out to consolidate family and other ties. Usually the wife was chosen by the parents. There were cases when future family unions were agreed upon immediately after the birth of children. It wasn't until the 20th century that Japanese people were allowed to marry for love.
Today, the average age of Japanese people getting married reaches 30 years, since only at this point does material well-being appear. In addition, sometimes it is difficult to prepare the relevant documents, which also scares off future newlyweds.
Just like in the old days, today's traditional Japanese weddings are held either in the spring, during the cherry blossom season, or in the summer. In autumn and winter, the bride and groom prepare for the upcoming celebration.
How does matchmaking and engagement work?
A traditional wedding in Japan and preparations for it seem strange to many Europeans and Russians. This is especially true for matters of matchmaking and engagement.
Thus, in the land of the rising sun, the initiative to register a marriage comes from the girl. Moreover, the theme of love, devotion and tenderness plays a secondary role. The financial situation, growth prospects and status of the young man become more important than them.
If a girl is confident in his wealth, she can propose to him to marry her. In turn, she must have housekeeping skills and be ready for family life and raising children. Initially, the search for a bride for a fee was carried out by nakodo, intermediaries.
They looked for a suitable match, regardless of love preferences, focusing on position and condition. Marriage of convenience was the most common and mutually beneficial.
The search could last until the desired candidate was found and both parties agreed to the marriage. Only after this did the future spouses exchange pre-wedding gifts, mostly gold rings.
The usual ritual of matchmaking with nakodo is also not uncommon today. However, a wedding for love is also no exception. The symbolic matchmaking ceremony takes place as follows.
A Japanese girl sits next to her chosen one and, admiring the sunset or sakura, only hints at the possibility of a wedding ceremony. If the young man hugs her with a smile after this, this indicates his consent. A direct declaration of love, eye to eye, is a unique phenomenon.
Conversations about love occur only through approximate expressions that hint at life together, for example: “Will you cook me lunch?”
Engagement
When getting engaged, gifts play a very important role. The bride receives 7 envelopes as a gift from the groom and his family, one of which contains money for organizing the celebration. In ancient times, the remaining envelopes were filled with ritual products, but today this tradition is not observed.
In modern Japan, this ritual is replaced by a European one - presenting the bride with a ring with a diamond or stone that corresponds to the girl’s zodiac sign. The future wife gives the groom gifts in the form of things.
Preparations for a Japanese wedding begin from the moment of engagement and last six months. During this time, a guest list is drawn up, a restaurant is ordered, a menu is selected and, of course, costumes for the newlyweds are purchased. Invitations must be sent 1-2 months before the celebration, since each person who receives it must have time to think about the offer and send an affirmative or negative response. Wedding expenses are traditionally borne by the groom's family.
Wedding ceremonies in Ancient Japan
In Japan, a family is, first of all, a religious union, which is based on honoring traditions, including respect for parents. In such a patriarchal family, it was considered obligatory for the family to give birth to a boy - the heir to property and family values - so society dictated the rule to men - get married! Other rules were in effect then, for example: if after marriage it turned out that a woman was infertile, then she could be easily divorced. Or it was possible not to get a divorce, but to take a maid who would give birth to a child from his wife’s husband. It was also possible to take an orphan youth and adopt him, legally making him an heir. But the legal heir could be deprived of all rights. If there were only girl children in the family, then the inheritance was passed on to the husband of the eldest daughter, and all because women could not inherit in Japan - it was believed that it was the man who gave creativity (just as in the Middle Ages the man was considered the main one in the family - he gave the child has a soul, and the woman only has the outer shell - the body). The family wanted to have a boy, because the girls got married and became members of another family and continued another family line. But the young woman could remain in her family - provided that her husband was part of her family as the legal heir and continuer of the family. In the Japanese family there was one head - the father or grandfather, everyone respected and obeyed him, the younger ones obeyed the elders. It was the head of the family who decided all issues, and in society he appeared not as a person, but as the head of the family. The whole family was responsible for his actions (whether they were correct or not).
Suits
Dresses for a traditional Japanese wedding are usually very expensive, as the fabric is made and decorated by hand. For this reason, wedding attire can be rented in almost any city in the country. On the wedding day, specially invited women give the bride a classic hairstyle and makeup. To do this, use powder to “whiten” the face to a light pearl shade, then apply blush, lipstick, and mascara. The traditional headdress of the bride is a cocoon made of white light fabric.
The kimono and tsunokakushi (headdress) are used primarily for marriage ceremonies. After this, the bride can change into a classic European wedding dress and put on a veil.
The man at the official part is dressed in a kimono with family coats of arms. After which he also changes into a classic black suit.
At a wedding ceremony, which follows all traditions, the bride can change the official women's kimono to a colored one. This symbolizes that she has become a wife. Just as in European countries wedding dresses are used only once, so in Japan this kimono is no longer worn after the wedding.
Mixed marriage
Marriages with foreigners are rare in Japan. What requirements are put forward for Russians who want to marry a Japanese woman?
Let us briefly describe the main ones:
- live in the country for 5 years,
- have a permanent job
- do not receive comments from the authorities,
- have several recommendations from indigenous people.
And even if all these conditions are met, the Russian will be given a family visa only for a year to check whether the marriage is fictitious. And then if he:
- lives with his wife permanently,
- pays taxes
- does not violate immigration laws,
then the visa will be extended for three years. And as a reward for his patience, he will receive the most meek wife and gentle mother for his heirs.
Guest costumes
For a Japanese-style wedding, it is customary for men to wear a formal black suit and a white long-sleeve shirt. Women wear knee-length evening or cocktail dresses. It is customary for both men and women to wear Japanese kimonos to a traditional wedding. After the ceremony, guests are allowed to change into more informal attire.
There is also a ban on black clothing for women at weddings, as it is the color of mourning. Dresses that expose the shoulders are also considered indecent.
Banquet and gifts
Traditionally, wedding gifts in Japan include money or checks in envelopes. Who donated how much is recorded in a special book. You can send a gift in advance, but when you get to know the newlyweds closely, it is customary to present it personally. The bride and groom are also obliged to give gifts to the guests in return. These could be classic bonbonnieres, or maybe something more valuable, depending on the finances that the couple has.
Young people with their matchmakers or parents always sit separately. Each guest has his own place, marked with a card with his name. The most significant guest in terms of rank usually begins to toast. Unlike the rituals and customs at an Indian wedding, according to which dancing is an integral part of the celebration, the Japanese do not dance at all, although modern couples, following Western fashion, can afford this. But they enjoy performing karaoke.
The wedding cake is cut by the bride and groom together at the end of the banquet, which usually lasts 3-4 hours. After it, the newlyweds can expect another wedding party, organized by friends.
Wedding ceremony
In the photo of a Japanese wedding you can see that the wedding takes place according to all the ancient rules. The ceremony is performed in a traditional Shinto shrine by the chief worshiper. The bride enters the temple first, followed by the groom. A small number of guests are allowed. These could be parents and closest friends.
The newlyweds lay branches of the sacred sakaki tree at the altar, followed by the tradition of exchanging rings three times and ceremoniously drinking small sips of sake. A special feature of a Japanese wedding is the mutual pronouncement of vows in front of each other.
Unfortunately, today fewer and fewer newlyweds resort to getting married in churches. They are limited only to the official ceremony at the places of state registration.
Marriage today
In modern life, marriages through intermediaries have survived, but to a much lesser extent than before. According to the results of national Japanese studies, if at the beginning of the 19th century there were about 70% of marriages by agreement, then a hundred years later there were only a little more than 5%.
Young people are now striving to find a match they like without outside help.
It so happens that a wedding ceremony in Japan does not particularly depend on the beliefs of the couple. The main thing for the Japanese is the reception at which families become related.
Marriage registration and celebration can be significantly different from each other in time. The newlyweds sign at the registration chamber.
The bureaucratic procedure of filling out the paperwork takes about an hour, after which the newlyweds are issued a document. There is no formal part of the ceremony in this institution.
It is noteworthy that in December 2015, Japan passed a law requiring husband and wife to have the same surname.
And the wedding itself will take place on the day when their families can prepare for it, on average, this is at least a year, since getting married in Japan is not a cheap pleasure. A wedding costs from five to eighty thousand dollars, so increasingly young people are getting married abroad to save money.
Quite a large part of weddings are now held according to Christian rites. However, this is rather just a tribute to fashion, because those getting married swear fidelity to each other not before God, but before the guests.
The remaining number of weddings is distributed approximately equally between a wedding in a Shinto shrine and a secular celebration, in the presence of invited relatives and friends.
Celebration
After a religious wedding, Japanese wedding traditions include a magnificent banquet. All relatives, work colleagues, and friends are invited to attend. The average number of all guests is 80 people.
Sake and wedding cake are a must on the festive table. It is not customary to dance here and there is no host familiar to Russian people; toasts are pronounced according to a clear schedule drawn up in advance. However, after the end of the official part of the banquet, Japanese youth do not mind having fun and singing karaoke.
Scenario
You can create a wedding script based on the principle of classic Japanese parables, and invite, say, samurai with swords as a show program. Another idea is to directly involve guests in Japanese entertainment - organize funny sumo fights or a competition for the funniest haiku. Scented candles, fans, bonsai and the same netsuke figurines are suitable as prizes.
Christian wedding and others
In the modern world, there are often Japanese men and Japanese women who profess Christianity and are Catholics. They perform a classic wedding ceremony in the temple. The costumes are also chosen to be European. This is a classic wedding dress, veil for the bride, black suit for the groom.
There are also representatives of other religions, as well as atheists, who choose a European-style wedding ceremony only because of its visual appeal. In this case, the ceremony is performed not by a priest, but by a disguised employee of the agency that organizes the celebration. The fashion for such rituals appeared in the 1980s, after the wedding of Prince Charles and Lady Diana.
The wedding night
The first wedding night should be such that when you remember it, a dreamy sigh involuntarily escapes. And the newlyweds’ night in Japanese style has every chance of being just that! The main thing is to create this fantastic atmosphere. Place a large Japanese decorative fan at the head of a bed placed on the floor. A regular mattress with a silk sheet thrown over it will do just fine. Place flat candles around the bedroom and arrange compositions made of sand and black basalt stones (it is believed that if you hold such a stone in your palms near your chest, it will absorb all bad thoughts). Transforming into an elegant geisha will not be difficult: a high hairstyle (the Japanese consider the open neck the most sensual part of the body) with chopsticks, a kimono, pink lips with a bow - and the image is ready! Japanese erotic games typically begin with a ritualistic start - it could be a dance with a fan, serving sake or a foot massage... And the next morning, after enjoying green tea ice cream, you can fly on a honeymoon - well, of course, to Japan! It is not at all necessary to strictly follow Japanese traditions at your wedding. It’s enough to be “infected” by the refined spirit of this country - and a serene thematic holiday will turn out by itself! Photo: weebly.com, door51.com, tumblr.com, aweddingcakeblog.com, environmentalgraffiti.com
Hall decoration
In fact, there are a lot of options here. It would be best to decorate the hall with traditional Japanese lanterns, bamboo, bonsai, and sakura. You can also use elements such as various fans and decorations (like garlands) in the form of Japanese dragons.
Some Japanese inscriptions will also highlight the theme well. Bamboo blinds on the windows will complement the picture of the restaurant.
The color scheme should be soft, pink or white. Tables can be decorated with candles, fortune cookies, and sakura branches. The walls are usually decorated with origami, Japanese masks, fans and images of Japan.
Orchids, paper umbrellas and bonsai trees will look very good in the banquet hall.
Feast
You can choose a Japanese restaurant for your wedding - this will make preparing Japanese dishes much easier. Find out in advance if your guests can eat with hashi. After all, cutlery can be limited to chopsticks only. If eating is difficult, you can leave the usual “equipment” for everyone.
Next on the list is the kitchen. Here, accordingly, everything is clear. The Japanese have preserved their traditions here too, which has long since won the hearts of Europeans. This does not mean that there should be only sushi and rolls at a wedding - under no circumstances.
Japanese cuisine is actually very extensive - many different sweets, hot dishes and snacks. They are all quite light, but filling.
Nevertheless, the menu should include more Japanese dishes: marbled meat, sushi, sashimi and others. For those who do not like exotic foods, you should add ordinary European dishes.
As for alcohol, sake and plum wine are preferable, but it is also better to have traditional drinks in reserve. You can surprise your guests with an interesting tea ceremony.
