In the old days, when faith occupied an important place in human society, all marriages took place in the church, before God. This ceremony has not lost its relevance today. But if previously married lovers honored the sacrament and the oath of a long family life before the church and God and believed that a marriage concluded in this way was once and for all, now the values have changed somewhat.
Modern couples celebrate the sacrament of wedding because of the beauty of the ceremony, completely disregarding its importance and seriousness. Such spouses get divorced, get married, and even think about repeating the church ritual with a new chosen one.
But is it possible to get married a second time? In what cases is this allowed and what needs to be done to obtain the consent of the church?
Sacrament of wedding
But before you find out whether it is possible to get married a second time in a church, it is worth telling what a wedding is and what is the meaning of this ritual.
A wedding is a ritual of the sacrament of marriage, which takes place during a church service. The sacrament of marriage is a divine blessing for Christians getting married for a long and happy married life.
In Orthodoxy, this beautiful solemn ceremony is held after the official marriage in the registry office. The blessing process is carried out by a priest of the white clergy.
The newlyweds, already connected by marital union, enter the temple, each holding a lit candle. They approach the altar and stand on a white cloth spread on the floor. The priest, before proceeding with the blessing, asks the spouses about the seriousness of their intentions and, having received an affirmative answer, reads the priestly prayers, then, with a blessing, puts crowns on the heads of the bride and groom, and then recites the special prayer of the sacrament 3 times.
As for whether a person can get married a second time, the Orthodox Church does not put forward any prohibitions, but there are some restrictions. And the ceremony itself will no longer be so solemn.
With a living wife
How about marriage and family relations in the 18th century” P. Polyansky, the Church failed to eradicate the “ancient vice” of polyandry. We are, of course, not talking about simultaneous cohabitation with two or three wives (husbands). It was a common practice for a subsequent marriage to be entered into without dissolving the previous one.
Especially many cases accusing Orthodox Christians of this crime were considered by the Synod in the 18th century. In 1729, the Kiev bishop Varlaam repeatedly wrote about numerous cases of “abandonment of the first or second lawful wife” and “the audacity to accept the next lawless one.” Metropolitan Sylvester of Tobolsk reported such “indecencies and crimes” to the Synod in 1752.
Who is forbidden by the church to get married both the first and second time?
Despite the fact that remarriage, “made in heaven,” is not prohibited by the clergy, not everyone can be admitted to it.
Who will most likely be denied?
- A couple who cohabits together is, in other words, in a “civil marriage.” According to church canons, such a marriage contradicts all Christian beliefs.
- Monks, celibates, who are prohibited by their vows from marrying. Priests who have not yet been ordained can acquire a wife.
- Spouses who both or one of them have had more than three marriages. The Church still accepts 3 marriages in a person’s life. The fourth is already regarded as a sinful act.
- The cheater, through whose fault the previous marital union broke up. Christianity will deny the sacrament to persons who initiated divorce or adulterers even after going through confession.
- A spouse with mental disorders and mental disabilities is also not allowed to perform the sacrament of marriage.
- Persons under 18 years of age (the lower age limit for a wedding is the onset of civil majority, when you can register a marriage at the registry office), as well as elderly people: women over 60 and men over 70 years old.
- The bride and groom whose marriage is not approved by their parents, as well as those getting married who are married against their will. The opinion of parents is highly valued by the Christian Church. But performing the sacrament against the wishes of the spouses is also unacceptable.
- A couple with close family ties up to the third generation. Incest is a sinful act.
- A couple in which one or both spouses are unbaptized.
- If one of the spouses has not completed the divorce process with the former chosen one and is still connected by family ties at the state level.
- If those getting married have different religions. If the desire to legitimize your marriage is strong in the church, then one of the spouses of a different faith must convert to Orthodoxy. This condition is mandatory.
According to the rules of the Orthodox Church, deviation from these prohibitions is unacceptable.
Life of a pig
The Church officially prohibited the fourth marriage, remembering that Gregory the Theologian called it “a pig’s life.” But in practice, both nobles and ordinary subjects ignored this prohibition. Thus, the records of the Astrakhan bishop from 1741 have been preserved, in which he describes his investigation into the Don Cossacks who moved to Tsaritsyn. “Among them,” the bishop wrote, “many were in unlawful marriages. Some had two wives at the same time, others were in their fourth marriage.”
However, practice shows that clergy often turned a blind eye to the “pig’s life.” If it was indeed difficult for the priests of Siberia to establish the status of migrants (many moved from one place to another, providing false information), then the clergy of Central Russia did not have a similar problem. The thought of the priest’s complicity arises when such an example comes up. In the village In Mtsensk, Oryol province, in 1757, a woman got married again while her husband was alive in the same church where she got married for the first time. And the ceremony was performed by the same priest.
Debunking
If you act according to all Christian prescriptions, then there can be no debunking, since marriage before God is concluded once and does not imply dissolution. And there is no such thing as “debunking”.
Debunking does not involve any formal procedure. This is simply a re-wedding after an official divorce and a new, state-registered marriage.
Getting married for the second time with a different spouse
If you do not deviate from church regulations, then a second “heavenly” marriage is impossible, since the divine blessing is given once, and its power is so strong that it is impossible to break it. And yet, religion takes into account human weaknesses, so the answer to the question of whether it is possible to get married a second time will be in the affirmative.
But still, the injured party can enter into a church union for the second time, in other words, a person who was betrayed in married life or was not the initiator of the divorce.
Is it possible to get married a second time with someone else? It’s possible, but it’s better to think it over first.
Widows and widowers: do they have the right to a church marriage?
Is it possible for a widow to get married a second time? What about the widower? Especially those who are connected by church ties to a spouse who is no longer alive?
Orthodoxy allows this possibility, since the marital relationship was interrupted by death. However, the Holy Apostle Paul said that it is better to accept your fate as a widow or widower and live in this position until the end of your days. All because a marriage blessed by God implies remaining faithful to one’s chosen one both during life and after death.
And yet, if the widowed spouse decided to re-tie himself in marriage and at the same time appear before God and ask for a blessing, then the church will not deprive him of this opportunity, but he will not have to count on a solemn ceremony. The procedure will take place according to the rules of a second marriage.
Is it possible for a widower to get married a second time? Like widows, this is not prohibited to them, but provided that the last marriage was not the third.
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Permission to remarry: how to get it?
Before carrying out the wedding ceremony a second time with a new spouse, you first need to get divorced from your previous chosen one. And then get permission to hold the ceremony again.
To do this, you should go to the church to the priest and write a petition to the bishop for permission to have a second wedding. In this case, two certificates will need to be attached to the completed petition: about divorce and about entering into a new marriage.
After this, the spouse, who has already been in a marriage union, must undergo the procedure of repentance. In the process, he must repent for the mistakes made in his previous marriage, and in life in general. Repentance can take the form of confession.
Only after completing all the procedures can the sacrament of marriage be performed again.
Rules for the second wedding
Can a man get married a second time? What about a woman? After a divorce, life does not end; many acquire new lovers and want to marry their chosen one not only at the state level, but also at the “heavenly” level. The procedure will be possible if you comply with a number of church regulations:
- Before the procedure, the spouse getting married again must undergo repentance or confession.
- For several days, the bride and groom need to fast, which will cleanse their body and free their mind. It will allow you to soberly understand whether they need it or not.
- 12 hours before the event, both spouses must abstain from food and water. If there is an intimate relationship in a couple, then it is better to abstain from it for several days before the sacrament.
- On the day of the wedding itself, a few minutes before it, the bride and groom say several prayers: to the Lord Jesus Christ, the Mother of God and the Guardian Angel, and the Follow-up to Holy Communion.
- For the wedding it is necessary to prepare and hand over to the priest: wedding rings, two icons - Jesus Christ and the Mother of God, a towel and two candles for the ceremony.
On what days cannot the sacrament be performed, neither the first nor the second?
Like many church ceremonies, weddings exclude some days when they cannot be performed. We are talking about both the first and the second sacrament:
- the ceremony cannot be held during the fasting period;
- on days coinciding with Maslenitsa and Easter week;
- from January 7 to January 19;
- on the eve of church, twelfth and great holidays (this is due to the fact that the evening before the holiday cannot be spent with noisy festivities in honor of the wedding);
- on Saturdays, Tuesdays and Thursdays (before fast days) throughout the year;
- on the eve and on the days of the Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord and the Beheading of John the Baptist.
But if there is a really good reason why there is no possibility of postponing the wedding, then the bishop can make concessions and make an exception.
The opinion of the Orthodox Church on the second wedding
Is it possible to get married a second time with someone else? What do clergymen say about this?
The opinion of church workers is unanimous - the first wedding is more valuable than the second. After all, all sacraments performed within the walls of the church do not have a reverse effect. That is, divorce or debunking is not provided for in Christianity. Therefore, a second marriage before God has no special value in Orthodoxy. This is a kind of attempt by people to improve in new relationships.
Despite this opinion, the second sacrament of marriage is not prohibited.
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Repeated celebrity weddings
The most sensational event of November 2022 was the wedding of Alla Pugacheva and Maxim Galkin, who had been officially married for 6 years. For the showman and parodist this was the first sacrament, while for the prima donna of the Soviet and Russian stage the wedding was the second.
Pugacheva entered into her first church marriage in 1994 with Philip Kirkorov. According to Alla Borisovna, it was her mistake, made out of stupidity and ignorance. She will repent for her for the rest of her life, since she met her real husband in Galkin. And she is immensely happy that she was allowed the second sacrament.
Surprisingly, Pugacheva’s re-wedding was accompanied by a magnificent celebration, with all the rituals and ceremonies. Many guests were invited, including famous people.
In addition, many Orthodox believers were a little confused by the fact that Pugacheva was 68 years old at the time of the wedding. And according to the rules of the church, women who have crossed the age line of 60 years are not allowed to “marriage in heaven.” But according to some information, at this age people are denied a third wedding.
As for Maxim Galkin, shortly before the solemn event he converted to Orthodoxy and was baptized in one of the Moscow churches. He converted specifically to marry his wife.
Thus, Alla Pugacheva is a clear “answer” to the question of whether it is possible to get married a second time after a divorce. The main thing is that there is love and respect between spouses.
How many times can you get married in Orthodoxy according to the canons?
Therefore, the “Book of the Positions of Parish Presbyters” (§123) says that a priest, seeing tears or something else indicating an involuntary marriage, must stop the marriage and find out the situation. There is a provision in the code of laws according to which a marriage concluded with the use of violence against one of the parties should be considered illegal and subject to dissolution.
All of the above applies to those who are just about to get married.
Important
However, sometimes it is necessary to marry spouses who have already lived in a registered marriage for some time, sometimes for decades. Obviously, these people no longer need to ask for a blessing for marriage
This list limits the absolute obstacles to marriage. Now it makes sense to talk about conditional obstacles.
For example, as a result of his partner’s betrayal.
The third time the opportunity to get married is given as an exception to prevent adultery of one of the spouses.
The possibility of holding the ceremony a fourth time is not even considered.
For any re-wedding, the blessing of the main church bishop is required.
Interesting fact: Ivan the Terrible had eight official marriages. He married five wives. How the Orthodox Church went about this, history is silent.
But, apparently, the evidence for the need for this sacrament was serious.
