More recently, it was customary to celebrate a wedding celebration on a grand scale: with guests, toastmaster, bride price, various competitions, songs and dances. In the modern world, everything has changed a little, now lovers increasingly prefer a small intimate celebration, just the two of them, or a wedding with parents without guests; we will tell you how to hold one in this material.
Secret wedding - a hit in recent years
Preparing for a wedding is a lot of stress. Newlyweds have to take into account many organizational nuances. It is necessary that all the wishes of relatives and friends be taken into account. Because of this, newlyweds often forget about their preferences. Therefore, the wedding is made more for the guests, and not for themselves.
Magnificent ceremonies with crowds of unfamiliar relatives are losing their popularity. It was affected by the pandemic, which made large-scale celebrations impossible. And, of course, because of the crisis, people have less and less money to organize such ceremonies.
“Couples are increasingly looking to have a secret wedding since the pandemic hit,” says wedding expert Jess Martin. “Over the past year and a half, people who want to order a modest ceremony are increasingly turning to me. And others even plan to get married only alone with each other. People no longer need huge celebrations for family and friends. They don't want to wait until the pandemic is over. They just need to be there for each other."
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“A secret wedding is also romantic,” Jess continues. - In this case, the newlyweds do not need to look at the opinions and desires of the guests. They can choose any place and spend this day the way only they want.”
No celebration or banquet
The absence of a celebration is not the absence of a holiday. If the newlyweds refused to use the banquet option, this means that they can spend their time in a more interesting way. A small celebration has its advantages:
- Budget savings. With the money saved, you can go on a honeymoon, buy a car, and furniture for the young spouses to share their home together. Saving is also very important for student couples and all those who cannot yet afford a luxurious celebration. Even with a small budget, a closed wedding (without a large number of guests) can be held unforgettably, and only your closest ones can be invited to feel a special atmosphere.
- Minimum stress. There is no need to notify guests a year before the celebration, adapt to the guests, worry about the cake, renting a hall, motorcade, or outfits. Organizing small weddings involves a minimum of hassle; you don’t even need a hall.
- Maximum intimacy of partners. At a big celebration, the future spouses are constantly separated from each other by guests and huge tables. In the presence of many people, many newlyweds cannot express their feelings well, which are very important on the first day after marriage. And in the intimate setting of a romantic dinner or a trip for two, the couple is not constrained by anything. On the wedding evening, spouses can feel even more affection for each other than before.
- A photo shoot can be an unforgettable experience spent abroad. You can even register your marriage in another country using a beautiful local custom.
There are many interesting ways to make your marriage registry memorable, but without the celebration or going to restaurants.
The most popular option is to go on a honeymoon immediately after visiting the registry office.
The best countries for a honeymoon holiday are the USA, France, England, as well as southern exotic resorts, Thailand.
However, newlyweds may also have more original tastes - then you can go to a country that seems unattractive to others, but has its own special charm and character (Iceland, African countries, etc.).
A picturesque place for a wedding
A secret wedding will save you a lot of money. And yet, her choice is not synonymous with a boring trip to the registry office. Don't give up a picturesque location for your ceremony. Even if the wedding is small and secluded, you will still remember it for the rest of your life.
“You can book a destination ceremony if funds allow,” says Jess. - If you want to save money, then get married first, and then go to where you would like to celebrate it. This could be the restaurant where you had your first date. Or your favorite place to relax. Cafe, park, country house - you can choose any option. The main thing is that it has a truly special meaning for your couple.”
Couples often travel to make their wedding intimate and special. They climb mountain peaks together, hold ceremonies on tropical beaches and even in forests. Someone goes to their favorite attractions.
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It's just your day, and you don't have to plan it taking into account the interests of strangers. Don't skimp on your wedding venue. Even if you don’t want a grand celebration, do everything in your power to make this day memorable for the rest of your life.
Suitable competitions, mobile and table
A wedding scenario without a toastmaster in a narrow circle can be “seasoned” with the most daring and unusual competitions , which guests intoxicated with alcohol will accept with a bang.
Kisses dear
Couples consisting of girls and boys (at least 6 couples) are called to the center of the hall. Then the representatives of the stronger sex are invited to kiss their partners, voicing places for kissing.
For example, “I will kiss Marina on the cheek.” You cannot repeat yourself, which complicates the task for subsequent applicants.
The losers are those who did not find a place for a kiss.
Heartfelt gift
Couples again participate in the competition. Men write on a piece of paper what they plan to give to their companion. And women, not knowing what they are going to give, tell how they will use the gift. This is quite a fun competition, because in the process girls can dress up for the holiday in a new frying pan or hang new earrings on the wall.
Inflatable tango
Several people go to the center of the hall and randomly break into pairs. At the signal (when the music starts), the people in a pair must join in a passionate dance, holding the inflated balloons between their bellies. Those who burst the balloon the fastest while performing an original dance will win.
Walls have ears too
This competition can be held to raise money. The hosts prepare facts about the bride and groom in advance, and the guests need to guess whether the named facts are true or false. The one who makes a mistake pays a “tax.”
My beloved
You can take any number of people into the competition. Everyone is asked to name the most beautiful part of the body of the person standing next to them. When everyone in the circle voices their option for the neighbor on the left, the presenter announces that now the “place that catches your fancy” needs to be kissed.
Young mother
For the competition you need to prepare plastic bottles and nipples that are put on the bottles.
Next, women must give their partners something to drink from improvised “pacifiers.”
Sprite, cola or fanta can be used as complementary foods.
The winners will be those who drink the contents from the bottle more carefully and quickly.
Guessing game
Several men are seated on chairs. The bride, blindfolded, is brought to the competition participants. She must find her betrothed by touching only the guys' noses.
Knot for good luck
Several couples are selected from those who wish. The united boys and girls are placed shoulder to shoulder and tied with their hands touching. Next, the contestants, using only their free hands, must lace up the sneaker and tie a bow on it. Those who quickly and “cleanly” cope with the task will win.
You can easily create cool wedding scenarios without a toastmaster, the main thing is to make an effort and not be limited by the standard canons of holding a celebration.
Good photographer
Again, it's all about the memories. Wedding photos will stay with you for the rest of your life, you will review them with your loved one, and then your children will see them too. Your wedding day is one of the most important days in your life, which is why it is so important to capture it in all its glory. And this can only be done with the help of a good photographer.
“Couples often underestimate the value of good photographs,” says Jess. “That’s why they refuse the services of a professional, replacing him with friends who take pictures with smartphone cameras. Such photographs are of poor quality. They are hardly capable of replacing professional photographs taken by a photographer. When creating them, real specialists take into account the perspective, the beauty of the ceremony site itself, and the dignity in people’s appearance. Good photography is the best way to capture memories.”
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Entertainment for 10-20 people
A small wedding means that special attention will be paid to every detail. So, in the morning you can arrange a photo session on the topic of getting ready for the bride and groom, then go for a walk and to the registry office, and then have dinner at a restaurant or country house.
Various board games and creative competitions with memorable gifts are suitable for entertainment. For young people, an excellent option would be a quest with a variety of tasks and an unexpected ending. If there are an even number of guests invited to the wedding, they can split into two teams and battle it out for the grand prize!
Witnesses
Witnesses are an integral part of any wedding. There is no need to refuse them, although it is not necessary to invite them to the entire ceremony.
“Have the bride and groom each choose their most trusted person,” says Jess. - This could be your best friend or close relative. Bring them to your ceremony to make your wedding special. It doesn’t have to be big, but it’s good if you have the opportunity to share this day not only with your other half.”
“If you don't want to invite friends, get creative,” says Jess. — In my practice, I have met newlyweds who invited photographers to act as witnesses. And others even invited strangers who were accidentally caught on the street.”
First, some strategic advice.
Tip 1.
Don’t compromise on the plan: okay, mom will invite guests, but I will choose the restaurant, let dad order the toastmaster according to his taste, but I will choose the music, etc. Unfortunately, this will turn out to be a wedding “neither for yourself nor for the people” - a wild mishmash of completely different tastes, which will not suit either the newlyweds or the relatives. The concept of the wedding must be unified, only then will it bring joy to at least someone.
Tip 2.
Do not swear! You should not spoil your relationship with your parents and immediate family because of your wedding. Yes, they will forgive. But the sediment will remain. And reproaches against you will continue to creep in one way or another for a very long time, if not for the rest of your life.
Tip 3
(for those who are just planning to get married). Take time for prevention! Especially if you are a young couple who cannot do without the financial help of their parents when organizing a wedding. Usually, to celebrate their engagement, future newlyweds are ready to tell everyone what a wonderful wedding they will have. So - no need. Be extremely careful in conversations with parents. (Both! Grooms now ALSO really like to tell their mother what kind of wedding they are planning.) Do not tell the exact date and concept of the celebration at the first meeting with your parents, then you will have at least some room for maneuver. Carefully find out how your parents see your wedding and who they would like to invite. Compare with your thoughts. If your wishes and your parents’ wishes do not coincide at all, think in advance about ways out of the situation (more on them below), arguments FOR your wedding and compromise options. If you are paying for the celebration entirely yourself, the ideal option is to invite your parents to the wedding in the same way as other guests, i.e. announce the engagement, and one or two months before the wedding, present invitations. Without details. If they pester you with questions, you can always say that you are preparing a surprise for everyone - and calmly hide the details further. I understand that I really want to chat with my mother about the topic of the future wedding, but first make sure that my mother understands everything correctly and does not begin to forcefully push her version of the celebration. The power of parents' influence should not be underestimated.
Decor
The lion's share of all allocated money is spent on wedding decor. Therefore, couples, wanting to save money, often refuse any decorations. You shouldn't do that.
“My advice is to stick with your wedding decor,” says Jess. — It is not necessary to put on a fluffy dress and tailcoat, install a lush arch and release doves into the sky. But choose something that will make this day special for you. You'll save money by trimming your guest list so you can afford a little decor."
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If you are celebrating a wedding outdoors, it could just be a small arch. If you are going to celebrate it in a restaurant, decorate the meeting place with dried flowers. Then you can take them home: they are stored for years and will remind you of the wedding.
Entertainment for 10-20 people
A small wedding means that special attention will be paid to every detail. So, in the morning you can arrange a photo session on the topic of getting ready for the bride and groom, then go for a walk and to the registry office, and then have dinner at a restaurant or country house.
Various board games and creative competitions with memorable gifts are suitable for entertainment. For young people, an excellent option would be a quest with a variety of tasks and an unexpected ending. If there are an even number of guests invited to the wedding, they can split into two teams and battle it out for the grand prize!
A small party for those closest to you
Even if you want a secret wedding, do not deny yourself the pleasure of celebrating this day with your loved ones. This doesn't mean you have to throw a lavish feast. You can limit yourself to modest gatherings with your best friends and parents.
“Secret weddings are often particularly painful for parents,” says Jess. “They are the ones who most want to celebrate this holiday on a grand scale. In order not to offend them, arrange a small feast. This will not require large financial investments from you. If you're celebrating with friends, you can agree in advance that everyone will pay for themselves."
“It doesn't have to be a wedding party,” Jess explains. — Just sit with your friends or parents in a cafe or restaurant. The holiday can be organized at home. And you won't need anything other than delicious food and a good mood. Such a feast is a great way to make amends if you suddenly upset someone by refusing to attend a noisy wedding ceremony.”
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In a close family circle
The birth of a new family can be celebrated in a cozy home environment among loving and beloved people. The receiving party must be negotiated and chosen in advance. In addition, you should take care of the holiday menu, the amount of necessary dishes and furniture, as well as the entertainment program. How to decorate an apartment or room and whether it is worth doing it is decided at a family council. What you definitely need to take care of is the cook. You shouldn’t leave all the cooking on your parents’ shoulders.
It is also worth remembering that in the summer the heat can cause discomfort in the apartment walls. Therefore, in the warm season, it is better to move the wedding celebration outdoors.
With parents, without guests
A small celebration with parents is a kind of transitional option. Traditions are observed (marriage takes place after a relative has approved it), but there are not a large number of guests at the celebration. There are quite a few positive aspects to such a restrained celebration:
- The organization of the holiday takes place without fuss, with minimal costs, but at the same time there are all the attributes of a holiday - gifts and congratulations. Small gifts and kind words from parents are very important; they make the wedding day stand out from the ordinary. When a close relative is nearby during an important celebration, the support of the family is felt.
- Celebration by families is a symbol of the unity of two families. Both parties (the family invited by the bride and groom) not only formally confirm their favor towards the new couple, but also actually communicate with each other and establish contact. To really make friends with your parents, you can even entrust them with preparing a small dinner.
- Newlyweds may not think about organization at all. Often, the parents themselves insist on a celebration in which only the family participates. And if this type of holiday was chosen on their initiative, they will happily organize everything themselves.
Where to go with your parents so that there is no tension between the few guests? The relaxed atmosphere of a coffee shop or, for a more luxurious celebration, a restaurant will do.
After a festive lunch or dinner, you can go for an evening walk, take your family to a family country house, or spend the night at a yacht club.
If you plan to celebrate a wedding with conservative parents, you can go with them to the official wedding in church (which is rarely done now), and then to the theater or conservatory.
Before planning a holiday, it is better to ask the parents themselves how they would like to spend the time. In a narrow family circle there is no shame in asking such questions.
But since the tastes of different families may differ, preference should be given to neutral ways of celebrating - European restaurants, simple but pleasant parks.
If the family members of one of the spouses come from another country, they will appreciate the traditional holiday for their country, which includes marriage according to special religious rules, visits to restaurants serving national cuisine, and the use of long-standing folk traditions. One thematic competition would be appropriate.
The agency will help organize complex celebrations.
Journey
An absolutely ordinary painting in the registry office can be enhanced with an impressive honeymoon. Trips to the sea, to warm countries, or any trip abroad have become traditional for many newlyweds. After all, this is a great start to a new page in a relationship, as well as an opportunity to realize an old or, perhaps, secret dream. Naturally, the trip needs to be planned. The right to choose the route undoubtedly belongs to the couple.
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Advantages
A small wedding is a great idea for those who do not want a large celebration. It opens up many possibilities: it can be an unforgettable outdoor ceremony in the forest or on the river bank, a quiet evening in a good restaurant, a banquet on the roof.
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