How to choose witnesses for a wedding

Not a single wedding ceremony maintained in the best traditions is complete without the participation of witnesses or, as people say, groomsmen and groomsmen. Most often these roles are very symbolic, but in some cases, the responsibilities assigned to these wedding positions are serious and require a certain amount of responsibility and prior preparation. It is better to know in advance what responsibilities the witness and witness are expected to have at a wedding - only then will the wedding go off without a hitch and bring joy to the newlyweds and invited guests.

Photo from the wedding

The witness or witness is usually chosen from among the closest friends and relatives: in addition to girlfriends and friends, the role of groomsman can be performed by a brother or sister, as well as cousins. A desirable, but optional requirement is that a young and unmarried girl is invited to play the role of a witness, and an unmarried man is invited to act as a witness . The tasks of the friends who are in the center of attention, almost on an equal basis with the newlyweds, are not only general joy and fun; the responsibilities of the witnesses also include solving serious organizational issues.

The Witnesses are primarily called upon to help young people make this holiday bright, easy and thoughtful to the smallest detail.

Criteria for choosing good witnesses for a wedding

As a rule, one of the couple's close friends becomes witnesses to the newlyweds. It’s not easy for those who get married later than all their friends, because according to tradition, the newlyweds’ assistants must be single. It is allowed to choose two girls or guys for these positions, but it so happens that a girlfriend or friend of the bride/groom and her/his boyfriend or girlfriend are invited. You need to select people very responsibly to make the celebration interesting. Incorrectly chosen witnesses only add unnecessary troubles to the newlyweds, especially if they abuse alcohol during the celebration.

Basic requirements for wedding assistants:

Responsibility.
Organizational skills.
Good sense of humour.
Ability to communicate.
Ability to quickly find a way out of difficult situations.
Pleasant appearance.

Unmarried people

You cannot choose two people for a wedding, married, divorced or married to each other. It is believed that a married couple will bring misfortune to the newlyweds, and due to divorced witnesses, the newlyweds may also get divorced over time. It is also not recommended to choose widowers for this position, so as not to repeat their fate, because their family life did not work out one way or another.

Helpfulness

Witnesses should not be lazy; they should have the quality of being willing to help. Therefore, many newlyweds choose their close friends, whom they have trusted for many years, for this position. Some far-sighted brides choose some relative of their husband as their girlfriend, showing respect for his relatives. This is justified, because only a relative can be more interested in the ideal holding of the event than others.

Availability of free time

The witnesses chosen for the wedding should have a lot of free time not only on the day of this important event, but also several days before the celebration. They need to take an active part in preparing/holding the bachelor and bachelorette parties, and this also requires a lot of time. Even if the groom is in charge of preparing the bachelor party, the witness will still have to choose a cultural program, and also have time to get a good night’s sleep after the bachelor party and before the wedding.

Having organizational skills

The presence of organizational skills among witnesses is a mandatory quality when choosing. After all, the wedding will be attended by people who have never even met before, so they may be embarrassed by each other. Witnesses must be organized, direct the celebration in the right direction, introduce people, make them feel relaxed and be able to hide their excitement. Especially if there is no invited toastmaster, then the entire organization of the wedding banquet falls on their shoulders.

What should witnesses do at a wedding?

Bridal assistants have official wedding duties that they must uphold. Therefore, when choosing a newlywed, they need to take into account the fact how much a person can cope with the assigned tasks. Watch video tips from a professional wedding planner on what a witness should be like and his responsibilities on that day:

Responsibilities of a witness

The duties of a bridesmaid include:

selection and fitting of a wedding dress;
decoration of the banquet hall;
organizing a table in a restaurant;
being with the newlywed every minute on the day of the celebration.

It is important that the bridesmaid is not dressed too extravagantly, and understands that she is not the main person at the celebration. The girlfriend should not be completely different from the newlywed in terms of clothing style, so as not to steal attention in wedding photos and videos. The witness takes an active part when the bride ransom takes place and makes sure that nothing is forgotten on this day.

Responsibilities of a witness

The duties of the groom's assistant include:

assistance in all organizational matters;
wedding car decoration;
organization and process of bride price;
organization and participation in a bachelor party;
assistance to the toastmaster in conducting all events;
restriction in alcohol intake;
creating a cheerful holiday atmosphere.

Appearance

Good appearance is another responsibility of witnesses that should not be forgotten; naturally, it must be appropriate for the event. The witness should look solemn and elegant, but this does not mean that it is necessary to wear a black tailcoat in combination with a white shirt; now such an outfit is not mandatory. Of course, jeans with a T-shirt will not work in this case; for a wedding it is better to choose a good suit, but it should be more modest than the groom’s; it should also be in a different color, for example, blue, light gray, pistachio, etc. The suit should be complemented with a light-colored shirt and a matching tie. If you are planning a not very formal ceremony, you can choose a simpler outfit, for example, trousers and a Swede, the main thing is that the attire is not too colorful or vulgar.

The bride and bridesmaid should not wear the same color. Nowadays, in addition to white, wedding dresses come in other shades; the witness must take this into account. First of all, it is recommended to abandon white, even if the bride is dressed in peach, lilac, red or other colors

A black or red outfit would not be the best choice; the first one is too gloomy for such a holiday, the second one will take attention to itself. Ideally, the color of the outfit should set off the wedding dress.

The image of the witness should be restrained, but at the same time stylish and quite festive. It is best to choose a good dress, although suits are not prohibited; you can wear an elegant jumpsuit or trousers. However, before making the final choice, it would be a good idea to consult with the bride.

No less important than the dress and hairstyle of the witness. The hairstyle can be completely different, the main thing is that it is really present. Naturally, the hairstyle should not be the same as that of the hero of the occasion.

It is advisable that the hairstyle be comfortable and reliable, because the witness will have to perform many duties, and a constantly sliding bun or falling out strands will distract and spoil the mood. It is best to create a beautiful, elegant, but at the same time fairly simple hairstyle that can be easily corrected at any time.

Who can be a witness at a wedding?

According to ancient customs, a witness at a wedding can be a young, unmarried friend of the bride who is not her relative. However, this is just an old tradition, based on beliefs and signs, and at a modern wedding it can be completely neglected.

The main qualities that a witness should have are sociability, originality and the ability to take an unconventional approach to any task, responsibility, and positivity. She organizes the bachelorette party and the wedding itself, so for this role the bride should choose her closest friend who knows her best.

Who can be a witness at a wedding?

For the groom's best man at a wedding, according to customs, the same requirements apply as for the bridesmaid - he must be an unmarried young man. But in this case, traditions are also often violated; any friend or relative of the groom can play this role.

When choosing, you should focus on the same qualities as when choosing a witness.

THE BESTMAN HELPES THE GROOM IN EVERYTHING BEFORE THE WEDDING AND DURING THE CELEBRATION, SO HE SHOULD BE CHEERFUL BUT RESPONSIBLE.

More than one bridesmaid or bridal team

The bridesmaid cortege is a Western custom that has been gaining popularity in Russia for several seasons. If you are a traditionalist, you will definitely choose only one girl to support you. However, if you don't adhere to wedding standards and you have a lot of sisters or friends and you can't choose just one of them, you might want to consider choosing a larger group. You'll feel better! Women of similar appearance gathered around the bride are a pleasant accent that will add positive energy and freshness to the wedding and reception.

Can married or divorced people be witnesses at a wedding?

The condition that witnesses at a wedding must be unmarried (we are talking not only about family relationships between the bride’s friend and the groom’s friend, but also about marriage in general) is based on a sign. According to her, passion between witnesses on the night after the wedding is the key to a long and happy marriage for the newlyweds.

Another sign says that if the bride's friend and the groom's friend are husband and wife, the relationship between the heroes of the occasion will not be strong. The same thing supposedly awaits future spouses if one or both witnesses are divorced.

However, all this is nothing more than superstition; married or divorced witnesses are not at all a guarantee that the newlyweds’ marriage will be unhappy.

Who can't be chosen?

It has happened for centuries that the assistants of the bride and groom are usually people who will not spoil the holiday. The choice is made based on the relationship with them. Various candidates are suitable for this.

It is prohibited to use divorced people who have already been married several times as witnesses. According to legend, this witness will cause discord in the future family life of the newlyweds. It will be unpleasant for them if a person who has not saved his marriage wishes happiness to his future family.
Even in ancient times, it was believed that a widow could not become a witness. An ancient sign says: such a helper will cause great trouble.
It is very bad if married couples act as witnesses. The newlyweds are not in danger, but married relatives may quarrel and their lives will be ruined.
Shy, passive and boring people cannot become witnesses. They simply will not be able to fulfill their duties, which are very important at a wedding celebration.

Why are witnesses needed?

How the celebration will go depends largely on whether there are witnesses at the wedding. The groom's friend and the bride's friend are the main assistants of the newlyweds during the pre-holiday events (bachelor party, bachelorette party) and the wedding itself.

They do everything to make sure one of the most important days in their friends' lives goes perfectly. The newlywed's friend watches her dress and appearance in general. The best man controls the atmosphere at the wedding, smooths out conflicts between guests, makes toasts and congratulations.

Together with the toastmaster, they conduct competitions and quizzes, helping him with props and making sure that everyone present at the celebration is happy and cheerful.

Be calm

Enthusiasm and a positive attitude will go a long way. Everyone will be stressed, so any help you can provide will be appreciated.

On your wedding day, it's time to hide all your enthusiastic feelings and not show them.

Need to pick up someone's grandma from the airport? Still would! Stringing 5,000 cranberries on a thread for holiday Photoshop? Yes!

If you've ever thrown a party, you know how important it is to make sure everyone is having a good time. As the best man, you are tasked with creating a positive, calm atmosphere so that the newlyweds can focus on other things.

Responsibilities of witnesses during a wedding

What do witnesses do at a wedding? As during preparation, they make sure that the future spouses worry about organizational issues as little as possible and enjoy their celebration.

During the wedding, a witness from the groom's side:

helps a friend buy his bride. The best man should take a few small bills with him, as the groom will probably forget about it;
before the wedding ceremony, the registry office checks that passports and rings are in place;
during a banquet in a restaurant, monitors the behavior of guests and waiters, avoiding conflicts and other unpleasant situations;
doesn't drink too much alcohol.

At a wedding, the bride's friend acts as a maid of honor. Responsibilities of a witness:

carry out a ransom;
carefully monitor the bride’s appearance and inform her if her makeup has rubbed off, her tights are torn, or her hairstyle has deteriorated;
help guests find their seats in the banquet hall;
help the bride accept bouquets and gifts.

BOTH THE BEST MONEY AND THE BRIDESMAN SHOULD COME UP WITH SEVERAL TOASTS AND FAREWELLS TO THE FUTURE SPOUSES. A WITNESS'S TOAST AT A WEDDING MUST BE ORIGINAL AND MEMORABLE.

Rules for boyfriends

The role of the bride's witness is a little simpler: her main task is to choose a dress and accessories for the celebration, help the bride with a visit to the stylist and hairdresser, and organize the ransom in accordance with the ceremony (the scenario should be written out in detail so that there are no unpleasant hiccups). If dresses of the same cut and style are provided for the bridesmaids, then the bridesmaid negotiates with tailors to take measurements, sew dresses and try on them on time. Everything must be done in advance and flawlessly .

Photos of bridesmaids

The bridesmaid's task is both to organize the bachelorette party and to help the best man with the banquet. Decorating the interior of the banquet hall, choosing invitation cards, decorating the wedding car and ordering a wedding cake, receiving congratulations (gifts and bouquets) after the official wedding ceremony, making arrangements with the temple for the wedding - and the witness can help with this. For the groomsmen and groomsmen, you need to know the plan of events in advance and prepare the distribution of responsibilities for preparing for the wedding between the friends and relatives of the bride.

Whether witnesses are required to sign at the registry office - it is better to find out in advance, since a passport may be needed for identification

Wedding superstitions

Many wedding superstitions involve witnesses. For example, in ancient times, the groom's friend and bridesmaid were dressed in the same clothes as the newlyweds. This was done with the expectation that the witness would literally replace the newlyweds in the event of an unforeseen situation.

In Rus', witnesses were required to perform small rituals so that the life of future spouses would be happy:

The friend makes sure that the bride is not jinxed. To do this, she pins a pin on the wedding dress and hems its hem.
The best man takes with him white threads, which will come in handy if the bride or groom drops the wedding ring.
At the end of the wedding ceremony, the groom's friend and the bride's friend kiss.

DESPITE THE MANY SUPERSTITIONS AND CUSTOMS, THERE IS NO CONNECTION BETWEEN THE BEHAVIOR OF WITNESSES AND THE LIFE OF THE NEWLYWRIED AFTER THE WEDDING.

Traditions are not so important; the main guarantee of strong family relationships between spouses is love and mutual understanding.

How to choose witnesses for a wedding: signs

Popular superstitions say that if newlyweds choose people who are married to each other as assistants, then the marriage of the witnesses will soon fall apart. Old-timers also say that young people should not be assistants to newlyweds more than twice. The third time they must be the bride or groom at their own wedding, otherwise the Mendelssohn March may never sound for them. It’s good that folk signs don’t always work, so you don’t have to be too superstitious, but choose people based on your own preferences.

Dance

After the congratulations at every wedding, the decisive moment comes. The question looms: “Will anyone dance?”

Perhaps your most important task this weekend is to answer this question out loud: “Yes! Yes!"

Gather your friends, gather the people you just met. Get everyone on the dance floor.

The fate of the wedding depends on you. If you can organize lively dances, they will break down the barriers of awkwardness and maintain the energy of the wedding.

What you need to prepare before the wedding

The period of preparation for a wedding is a rather hectic and exciting time, since there is always a fear of forgetting something, not being on time, etc. And here the witnesses become the first assistants of the bride and groom. They help not only in preparing for the celebration, but also make sure that everything necessary is purchased.

Items for which witnesses are responsible for the presence at the ceremony:

Wedding rings, they must be at the ceremony both in the registry office and at the wedding.
The bride's bouquet and its backup (the newlywed throws the second bouquet into the crowd of unmarried girlfriends).
A cushion or saucer for rings.
Towel for the ceremony in the registry office and at the wedding.
Boxes or piggy banks for collecting money during the celebration. Often such items are signed “for my daughter” or “for my son,” and the witnesses are involved in collecting funds.
Everything necessary for competitions (garlands, posters, materials for games, medals, diplomas, etc.).
Wedding loaf and salt shaker for it.
Rose petals, rice or wheat for showering the newlyweds during the meeting from the registry office.
Wedding items (icons, candles, napkins, 2 towels, a scarf for the bride).

Duty of the best man on the wedding day

On the day of the celebration, the best man at a wedding has a huge number of responsibilities, but the most important of them is to be a witness at the wedding, serve the rings to the newlyweds and lay out the wedding towel. During the wedding sacrament, witnesses hold crowns over the heads of the newlyweds.

More generally, the duties of the witness include assistance in organizing the wedding. He also makes sure that there is a friendly and warm atmosphere at the holiday. The groom's responsibilities also include organizing a bachelor party before the wedding, as well as paying for the bride's ransom (if provided). In addition, he is involved in:

sending out invitations;
decoration of the hall;
car decoration;
organizing competitions (together with the toastmaster), etc.

Another friend of the groom is often involved in establishing relationships between the newlywed and the bride’s parents. With his participation, the distribution of responsibilities during the celebration takes place. Some best men do quite a lot of work in preparation for the wedding, agreeing on the time, dates, number of guests, prices of services and other details of the event. The honorable duty of a witness on the part of the groom is to deliver a solemn speech at the ceremony. It should be carefully prepared and pronounced properly.

It is worth saying that this prospect frightens many men. Not everyone can handle the role of best man, so you should soberly assess your capabilities and, if you are unsure, it is better to refuse.

Bridesmaid

A witness at a wedding is no less an honorable role than the best man. Her main responsibility is to attend the ceremony as a witness and sign the marriage certificate.

If the newlyweds decide to get married, then the bridesmaid holds the crown over the bride’s head during the sacrament, and the best man holds the crown over the groom’s head. An important condition: in order to take part in the sacrament of wedding, the boyfriend and groom must be baptized in Orthodoxy.

Organizing a bachelorette party is also one of the main responsibilities of a girlfriend. In some cases, she even bears all the costs associated with it. In addition, the bridesmaid helps the bride choose an outfit, hairstyle, shoes, accessories, etc. But the main thing that the bridesmaid does is turn the holiday into the bride’s dream.

If there are too many tasks, then the witness should correctly distribute them among the rest of the bridesmaids. The ability to delegate tasks should be one of her main qualities.

If we talk about unofficial duties, then the girlfriend acts as moral support for the bride, because a wedding is a very emotional event. In addition, she can help with inviting guests, choosing gifts for them, and organizing a meeting with a photographer or designer.

How to choose them from friends

To choose the right best man, you need to pay attention to his character qualities. Firstly, this person must have organizational and public speaking skills. Secondly, be responsible and charismatic. Choosing a best man is a case when you should give preference not to a close relative or friend, but to someone who can cope with this role, since a lot depends on his behavior.

Groomsmen Clothes

The groom and his companions perform at the celebration as a single team, so the outfits must have a single character, stylistic solution, or have common details. The clothes of the groom and groomsmen may be the same or slightly distinguish the groom from the crowd. The more original the husband’s team of friends looks, the more fun and beautiful the wedding will seem. The image of a male company should not go beyond the general concept of the wedding. Therefore, the outfit of the groom and friends is also a kind of attribute of creating the right atmosphere at the holiday.

Here are several options for creating a single original image for your husband’s team:

Butterflies. Multi-colored or one color, for the young man and friends. The groom's bowtie can stand out in size or tone.
All team representatives wear multi-colored socks.
Suspender.
Bowler hats or hats.
Glasses.
Boutonnieres, pocket squares.
Checkered jackets or pants.
Multi-colored ties of the same style with identical boutonnieres.
Jackets of the same color, tone or material.
No jackets.
Vests.
Costumes of the same style, theme, reproduction of the same era.

When choosing suits for friends and your future husband, you should consider the following points:

Comfort. The character of the costumes should be close to the groom and friends; the outfits should emphasize the state of mind. In addition, suits and shoes should be comfortable and convenient. Bright hues

If there is no thematic need, when choosing the color of the costumes, pay attention to light colors or blue, or try to dilute the image with bright shades so that the event does not look gloomy. Brightness and originality. Bright details and stylistic solutions will help make the wedding fun and memorable.

Harmony. The costumes of friends should not only be included in the overall concept of the wedding, but also be combined with the outfits of the friends. Then there will be no aesthetic dissonance at the event or photographs.
Children. If the groom or friends have a child or younger male brother, invite him to join the groom's team. This will not only allow the boy to feel responsible and grown-up, but will also add touchingness, reliability, and comfort to the team atmosphere.

Groom's friends in bow tie photo

A simple and always winning way to highlight the groom and team is butterflies. Here are some examples of how these accessories enliven the look of friends and the atmosphere of the wedding, see the photo below.

Dress code for witnesses

If we talk about the best man's clothes, then everything is simple. His outfit is a formal suit or tuxedo. A distinctive feature is a boutonniere made of fresh or artificial flowers.

As for a girlfriend, there are many more rules and criteria. The first thing to remember is that you should never try to outshine the bride. The friend must understand that this is not her holiday, so a white outfit is excluded.

The second point is the frankness of the dress. It should not be provocative or too open. The number of rhinestones, sparkles or other bright details should be kept to a minimum. A crinoline is inappropriate in a witness's outfit - this is the prerogative of the newlywed.

In addition, there is no need to wear high-heeled shoes to the wedding, as there is a lot of work to be done. The ideal option is to take spare shoes with you, and wear elegant shoes only for the official part of the ceremony.