Witnesses at a church wedding: basic rules and responsibilities?

A wedding is a church sacrament of the consecration of marriage, the moment of unity of the souls of the newlyweds for the rest of their lives, in which the couple is blessed by the Lord for marital happiness, the birth and raising of children. The married must be devoted to each other in the face of God. It is important to deeply understand the seriousness of this decision, because annulment of marriage and failure to be faithful is a sin. It has long been customary that weddings in the Orthodox Church take place in the presence of witnesses, although this condition is not mandatory. Today they play the role of spiritual mentors of the married couple; witnesses help the newlyweds enter their new status, and also hold crowns during the ceremony in the temple. The newlyweds themselves choose those who will accompany their wedding; the rules of the church are still taken into account. The clergy have their own requirements for this process.

Is it possible to get married in a church without witnesses?

Previously, when weddings were the only official way to enter into marriages, the role of witnesses was important , since they signed the parish register and confirmed that the spouses could get married. Is a witness needed nowadays? Now the role of witnesses is quite symbolic, it is rather a tribute to tradition.

They act as spiritual guides to the couple getting married.

But their presence is not necessary at the ceremony.

If for some reason the newlyweds do not have the opportunity to invite guarantors, then the wedding sacrament is performed without them. You just need to warn the priest in advance about their absence . The presence of guests and parents at the sacrament is permissible at the request of the newlyweds.

Sometimes young people want to get married secretly from everyone, so they cannot call witnesses to the sacrament . In this case, it is important to remember that the priest must know about the reasons that prompted the newlyweds to get married in secret, since the blessing of the parents is desirable for the wedding.

Dress code

The wedding ceremony requires an appropriate appearance not only from the bride and groom, but also from their successors. When it comes to bridesmaid attire, it definitely can't be pants. The witness's clothing should be modest. Skirts and dresses above the knee are not allowed. Shoulders and neckline should be covered with a cape or poncho.

Important! Witnesses must wear a cross. As a last resort, wear it during the ceremony.

A headdress is required for the witness, as well as for other women present. The successor should also pay attention to the color of the dress. It should not match the color of the bride's wedding dress.

The best attire for a witness is a solid suit or shirt and trousers, but black should be avoided. Males are not allowed to wear a headdress in the temple.

Who cannot be a guarantor at a wedding sacrament?

Witnesses at a wedding cannot be :

• Those who are divorced because they have destroyed their marriage and cannot vouch for the well-being of the family life of others.
• Those who cohabit in an unregistered marriage because they live in sin, which is displeasing to the church.
• Unbaptized in the Orthodox faith. If they belong to another religion, then they cannot be witnesses at an Orthodox wedding. But if they underwent baptism before the wedding, the priest can allow them to participate in the sacrament.

Also, witnesses must be believers and wear a cross. Who can be called as witnesses? A married couple or unmarried friends or friends of the newlyweds can act as guarantors.

only family people familiar with marriage were called as guarantors , since witnesses became, as it were, the wedding parents of the marrying couple, just as godparents become parents of a baptized child.

The spiritual responsibility resting on these people is very high

However, the main burden of responsibility for their marriage lies with the newlyweds.

The answer to the question whether parents can be witnesses is positive, provided that they are in a registered marriage. The fact that they are married will be an additional plus, but this is not a necessary condition.

Immediately on the eve of the wedding, each of the guarantors must confess and take communion, fast and devote time to prayer. Also, the requirements of the Orthodox Church oblige witnesses to look appropriate : women must be modestly dressed, always in a skirt or dress below the knee, their heads must be covered with a scarf, men must remove their headdress.

It is also important that a woman during menstruation is not supposed to enter the temple . This applies to both the bride and the witness. If possible, it is better to set the wedding date on days that are safe from the point of view of the female cycle.

In church it is considered unacceptable to cross your arms in any position or stand with your back to the iconostasis: this is considered disrespectful and a bad omen

In general, one is supposed to behave modestly and quietly , concentrating on prayers and the sacrament. We must remember that any church and temple is the house of God.

Whom to choose

Of course, this is someone from the couple’s inner circle, with whom both spouses communicate well and can trust their secrets. Previously, it was only allowed to take married people, but now everything has changed a little. So, let's look at the prerequisites when choosing:

1. Only baptized Orthodox Christians are suitable for this role.
2. Your witnesses must be either single people or legally married.

By taking upon themselves the mission of guarantors, they become spiritual relatives, which means that they themselves will never be able to get married to each other.

Responsibilities of witnesses at a wedding in the Orthodox Church

Before the ceremony, a pair of wedding icons are purchased - the Most Holy Theotokos and Jesus Christ, wedding rings and candles. Guarantors can purchase them as a wedding gift to the newlyweds.

Wedding icons for the church

The sacrament of wedding itself takes place in several stages :

• Engagement. The newlyweds are given lighted candles and the priest blesses them. The newlyweds enter the church, a clergyman with a censer walks in front of them, clearing the way for those entering into a church marriage.
• Wedding. The bride and groom stand on a towel, or in other words, a towel in front of a lectern, on which lies the Gospel, crowns and a cross. The priest reads prayers, places wedding crowns on the newlyweds or gives them to witnesses so that they hold the crowns over the heads of the bride and groom. After the prayers, the newlyweds drink wine and exchange vows. Then they make a threefold religious procession around the lectern.
• Resolution of the crowns. The priest reads a prayer, takes away the candles and the young ones venerate the icons of the Mother of God and Jesus Christ.
• Thanksgiving prayer. After the end of the sacrament, a prayer service is read and the bells are rung.

The ritual lasts from forty minutes to an hour . It must be taken into account that most of this time the guarantors hold the crown over the head of each of the wedding parties.

What does a guarantor ? Witnesses at the wedding sacrament take direct part in the ceremony.

Witnesses hold crowns over the heads of the newlyweds, present wedding rings, spread a towel in front of the lectern and accompany the newlyweds during the procession of the cross through the temple

Witnesses also help hold bouquets of flowers after the end of the ceremony. The priest explains the rules and procedures so that awkward situations do not arise.

Rules

Witnesses, like husband and wife, need to carefully prepare for the ceremony:

• take communion;
• confess;
• fast;
• on the eve of the Sacrament, renounce carnal pleasures.

At the ceremony itself, a woman must cover her head with a scarf or stole, and a man, on the contrary, must be without a headdress.

The bridesmaid should choose a chaste look, just like the bride. No miniskirts, provocative necklines, bare backs and shoulders, or overly tight outfits.

Friends should arrive at the temple a little earlier than the newlyweds and take their places. Be sure to turn off mobile phones so as not to be distracted by them. You cannot speak or laugh loudly; you must behave modestly in the cathedral. Do not stand with your back to the iconostasis.

On such a day, they pray only for the health of the newlyweds; if you want to light a candle for the health of your relatives or the repose of your family, then you should choose another day for this.

Do not sit on the benches in the church, because according to Orthodox canons it is customary to stand in this sacred place during services and Sacraments. Only pregnant, sick and infirm people can use the benches.

Who should hold the crown at the wedding?

There are no strict rules about who exactly should hold the crown over the heads of the newlyweds. This may be a male or female witness. The basic rule is that when holding the crown above the head of the bride or groom, you cannot lower it, you can only change your hand without lowering the crown. The tradition that a man should hold the crown over the groom , and a woman over the bride, came from the practice of the registry office, when a couple of a girl and a guy are sure to act as witnesses. Previously, the boyfriends of young people were exclusively men.

If there are no guarantors present at the sacrament, then the crowns are simply placed on the heads of the newlyweds.

The crown above the bride is held by a woman, above the groom - by a man.

There are no strict rules about who should hold the crowns over the heads of the newlyweds.

The established tradition is that the bride is held by a woman, a friend. And to the groom, a man, a comrade, a friend.

But it is necessary to keep it all the time while the wedding is taking place. You cannot lower the crown; the hand holding the crown can be changed. Because holding the crown at arm's length for forty minutes will not be easy for anyone.

But what about the crowns if the wedding takes place without witnesses? It's actually simple. In this case, the crowns are simply put on the head.

In this photo, the newlyweds have no witnesses, so they put the crowns on their heads

As you can see in the photo, the wedding ceremony takes place exactly the same if there were witnesses here.

Wedding gifts for newlyweds

It is customary to give gifts at a wedding, just like at a wedding. Most often they give wedding icons or other religious items: the Gospel, prayer book, lamp and candles. You can give a pendant with an image of the Virgin and Child.

Pendant, SOKOLOV (price on the link)

Or Saint Matrona.

Gold pendant with enamel, SOKOLOV (price on the link)

You can also donate household items : bedding sets, tea sets or household appliances.

A wedding is an important step for spouses who decide to link their lives before God for life together even after death. Such an important decision should not be made in haste or haste. It is important to remember that the role of witnesses at the ceremony is symbolic and great responsibility for the marriage lies with the spouses.

Choosing a date and temple

Preparations for a wedding in the Orthodox Church should begin with choosing a temple. A few weeks before the desired day, you need to finally decide on the location. Each church has its own rules. Therefore, such aspects as the arrangement of guests, the duration of the wedding, and the presence of a choir can vary significantly. Please note that the possibility of photography is also agreed upon in advance, and the cost of a wedding may vary in each temple.

Newlyweds are advised to set a wedding date as early as possible. Take this seriously, since according to church rules, not all dates of the calendar can hold a ceremony. Restrictions apply to the following days: Maslenitsa and Easter weeks, Thursday, Tuesday and Saturday, during the period of fasting, as well as individual church holidays. You can see a list of all dates in the church calendar or check with the church itself. The wedding day must be agreed upon in advance with the priest.

Please also note that the wedding ceremony does not have to take place directly after the wedding in the registry office. There are no time restrictions, so newlyweds can get married 5 years after their official marriage.