She is 14, he is 12, instead of horses - a white Hummer and Priors, instead of a tent - one of the most expensive banquet halls in Astrakhan - “National”. This is what a gypsy wedding ceremony looks like in the 21st century. What remains unchanged is a lot of gold, patriarchal ideas about family and hundreds of guests.
Masha Chashnikova put on her best clothes at once and went for a walk at the matchmaking ceremony of the Astrakhan romances. We tell you what is most important at a gypsy wedding, is there any place left for traditions, how to show off correctly and how much gold should be given so that there is no shame.
"Real gold"
The Hummer limousine, which will later be generously illuminated in the video with golden rays, cheerfully rolls towards the Kremlin. Several dozen girls and the future bride could hardly fit inside. The crowd, picking up the folds of multi-colored chiffon dresses and rustling furs, comes out near the white stone and takes a long photo in the Brotherly Garden.
Photos: Pavel Simakov
The girl in green with a selfie stick and the largest amount of jewelry especially stands out. I am allowed to touch a finger-thick chain with a pendant depicting Medusa, the symbol of the Versace house, surrounded by seemingly giant rhinestones. The medallion is cool on the fingers and takes up almost the entire palm. There are a lot of scratches and scuffs on the reverse side. Another chain, a smaller one, seems quite modest and insignificant with such a neighborhood.
“My grandfather gave it to me. Yes, real gold. No, it’s not hard at all,” the girl proudly declares and smiles.
“And she’s a matchmaker too,” her friend clarifies, while the green dress twirls in front of the camera, showing off all its splendor.
The bride herself, Raika, behaves very modestly. A tall, thin girl with huge eyes is similar to the heroines of Pre-Raphaelist paintings - the same strict beauty and universal languor. Towering over her fiancé, she only smiles at the corners of her mouth when 12-year-old Parno awkwardly sniffs a large bouquet of roses and walks away embarrassed.
On the face of the sixth grader, like the girl, there is no romantic sparkle or awareness of the seriousness of what is happening. It seems that Parno would be happier now playing video games or going on adventures with friends. True, he still behaves in a dignified and businesslike manner, not like teenagers, he looks more like an energetic little man in a three-piece suit.
Gold-diamonds and white limousine
Hundreds of invited gypsies must make sure that both the 19-year-old bride - with a rich dowry, and the 20-year-old groom are a match for her, not a fool. Therefore, the best restaurant was booked in the small town of Michalovce to entertain the dear guests. And the video from the wedding ceremony immediately became mega popular among thousands of users. The suit of the thin groom and the breathtaking outfit of the plump bride were in harmony with each other: the festive vestments were made to order in white and gold precious decor.
The main decoration of the gypsy wedding was Evka’s chic dress, decorated on expensive white fabric with gold embroidery and real stones. To complete the look of the newlywed, they gave her a high hairstyle and adorned her with a truly royal tiara - made of pure gold with the image of lions' heads. Of course, it couldn’t be done without massive earrings, bracelets and impressive rings.
Happy Luka set off the beauty of his chosen one and was dressed to match her. A snow-white suit with a little less than that of a young gypsy, an abundance of gold embroidery and a stunning flower boutonniere. All with real gems and other indecent luxury. And, of course, a huge white limousine. It seems that the glorification of money and wealth at this wedding has already reached its climax. But here the gypsy scale and demonstration of superiority know no bounds.
“Happiness and health!”
The red-cheeked boy spends a long time fiddling with a bottle of champagne. On the lawn, he opens the cap and throws out the container. Alcohol, foaming, spills across the sidewalk. An adult in turquoise and pink approaches the child and takes him by the hand, leading him to the dancing crowd. The boy sees the white stone for the first time. The groom's large clan came to the ceremony from the Stavropol Territory.
“We’ll give you gold, I won’t say how much. Well, 1-2 kilograms. I myself got married at 15, I had a gorgeous wedding. Of course, the rings are real. Yes, one whole kilogram probably weighs,” the groom’s relative proudly declares.
A luxurious wedding is traditionally organized by the groom's relatives. But gypsy weddings are not always celebrated with gifts from numerous relatives.
But today is just a rehearsal. The main Astrakhan baron, Grigory Savchenko, in a red and blue suit, throws up his hands, assuring that this is matchmaking. Such early marriages are prohibited in Russia, but Romans who are adherents of such marriages have found a way out and marry their children at the age of 12-13, and the wedding itself takes place after adulthood. So that future spouses get used to each other, reconcile and get married. Brides are sometimes kidnapped, but this is rare when relatives do not give the go-ahead or do not agree on a ransom.
They get married only after finishing school, the elder firmly assures us. When asked if everyone is studying at school, he talks about his grandchildren and great-grandchildren who have completed at least nine grades. At a distance, several dozen girls and women hung with decorations, who obviously skipped classes today, are having fun.
Gypsies marry virgins. When asked if this also applies to guys, they nod diligently. The girl’s innocence is still tested by a red spot on the sheet and, if the bride turns out to be “spoilt,” there will be shame and financial costs. Divorce in communities is rare. Love comes during marriage, the Romals are sure, the main thing is that “we knew the family, it was in good standing, and we agreed on a ransom.”
“What kind of childhood do you ask them, they’ll grow up... I’m making sure that there are no weddings when they’re young, 12-13-14 years old ,” the baron explains, twirling his powerful mustache.
Gypsy wedding: features of the holiday
A traditional gypsy wedding is very, very different from a Russian style wedding. Some gypsy wedding traditions arouse genuine interest, while others cause misunderstanding and shock. But all weddings in the camp have one thing in common: the celebrations are always held on a grand scale, with cheerful dancing, singing and in a big way!
Matchmaking
It is with matchmaking that preparation for the wedding ceremony begins. As a rule, parents themselves look for future spouses for their children. The main search criteria are reputation and family wealth.
Often, parents made the decision to unite families when the bride and groom were still very young children, sometimes even babies. At this stage, it was decided how many years later the wedding would take place, and what kind of ransom the father wanted to receive for his daughter.
The custom of gypsy matchmaking requires the presence of two important attributes, without which it is impossible to observe the tradition:
- Birch branch or bottle of wine/champagne. These items are hung with banknotes, coins or gold;
- Wedding loaf. The pie is baked according to a special recipe by the sisters or other relatives of the future wife. It is presented on a beautiful towel.
Matchmakers and the groom's father show their “offerings” to potential relatives, and if the bride's father allows them to be placed on the table, then this serves as consent to the wedding.
During matchmaking, none of the women has the right to be present in the room; the “agreement” is concluded exclusively between the men of both families.
Color of celebration
The color red is a symbol of happiness, joy and passion among Roma communities. It is always present on the wedding day in the decorations of the holiday and the clothes of the newlyweds and guests.
Red flags are hung on the houses of the bride and groom, and red ribbon decorates the suits of the invited men. A red and white ribbon is a mandatory attribute in the groom’s clothing.
Holiday time
Gypsy weddings are held at any time of the year, but preference is still given to the summer season. The tradition of summer weddings has long roots, because previously, low tables were set up for the celebration, and guests sat on carpets laid directly on the ground.
Currently, Roma are increasingly celebrating holidays in restaurants and cafes. However, the love for summer weddings still remains.
The holiday lasts at least three days; in rich families, dances and feasts can last for a week.
On the first day there is a so-called bachelorette party. Once again the ritual of bargaining takes place, but this is simply to maintain tradition.
Afterwards, relatives, matchmakers and newlyweds sit down at the laid tables. Moreover, separate tables are set for women (including the bride) and men and the groom. After some time, the matchmakers shake hands, kiss, and this is exactly what means – the agreement is finally concluded!
The groom's father takes the bride to the first dance, after which friends and girlfriends of the newlyweds are invited to the circle. As a rule, after the dance the first day ends. After all, the most important day is ahead!
The second day of the wedding is the actual wedding ceremony. From the very morning, friends and relatives help the bride get ready. Music is played in the house, songs are sung and festive tables are set.
As soon as the bride is ready, they bring her a wedding dress. Moreover, gypsies never rent clothes. It is “inherited” from a sister/relative or a completely new dress is purchased, depending on the family’s capabilities.
Afterwards, the bride comes out to the guests and dances in front of them. As soon as the gypsy is collected and the dances are performed, she is carried to the groom’s house.
As a rule, the banquet takes place either in the house of a relative of the husband, or in a restaurant. Before the festive feast, the newlyweds are blessed with an icon and bread, presented with expensive gifts and water with sweets is poured under their feet (as a symbol of a sweet and easy married life).
During the banquet, the couple is escorted to a separate room for their wedding night. We will tell you more about this below.
On the third day of the holiday, lamb soup must be prepared. After the traditional toasts and congratulations, the dowry of the already established spouse is brought out for everyone to see. This could be bed linen, pillows, a blanket, etc., but modern gypsies prefer to display money, gold and jewelry as a dowry. Moreover, every item is demonstrated to everyone present. This is how the girl’s family shows that the bride did not come to her husband’s house empty-handed and in the event of a “divorce” she will leave with her dowry. This is how gypsy wedding rituals protect the property of the newly-made wife.
Gypsy bride price
The bride price acts as compensation to the girl's family for the loss of their helper. If previously the ransom went entirely to the bride’s family, now the parents return part of the money/jewelry to the young family.
Who pays for the wedding
Traditionally, the groom's family pays for the celebration. In order for the wedding to be bright, colorful and luxurious, parents begin saving money from the birth of their son. Often a magnificent celebration can ruin parents, but a luxurious wedding is a matter of honor for every gypsy family.
Modern wedding traditions allow gypsy families to split wedding expenses in half.
Feast
The festive tables of the gypsies amaze everyone's imagination. The alcohol flows like a river, the tables are full of food. But at the same time, not a single gypsy will allow himself to overdo it with alcoholic drinks, because being drunk means disgracing himself in the community.
Different tables are set for men and women. In the center of the room there is a table for married spouses and witnesses.
Invited men, as a rule, wear formal suits. Married women wear traditional clothes with their heads covered, while unmarried girls can afford to come to the wedding in a trouser suit.
Fraternization
A beautiful gypsy wedding always includes a ceremony of fraternization. It symbolizes the eternal bond between spouses. To do this, small cuts are made on the fingers of the young, which are crossed with each other as soon as blood appears.
Features of the holiday
Gypsy couples do not formalize their marriage. But among Orthodox communities, weddings are mandatory.
On the wedding day, the bride should be quiet and silent, symbolizing respect for her father and new husband.
The girl necessarily moves to her husband’s house, where all household chores are entrusted to her.
“Everything is very clear and beautiful”
A videographer with a nickname from the 2000s - ViP AzEr has been filming weddings and celebrations of local Roma for several years and only in Full-HD. Marif's (that's the guy's name) videos are stuffed with special effects like they came from PowerPoint presentations, but clients are delighted. His Youtube channel has accumulated nearly a hundred videos, each with tens of thousands of views. The video of Katya and Lasha’s wedding alone received more than 200 thousand views, and the total amount of views on the channel was 3 million. Almost everyone was made according to the same pattern - a large house with carpets, icons, a plasma wall-to-wall, limousine rides and hours of dancing in a banquet room hall
Photos: Pavel Simakov
Roma communities live separately. Romals see the world in black and white and clearly divide it into strangers and their own, not allowing outsiders in. A wedding is one of the few public events. For a few days, the community is hospitable to the rest of the world and a loophole appears through which you can squeeze through and get in touch with a complex, original ethnic group. That’s why wedding videos sometimes gain millions of views on Youtube, like clips of modern rap artists, and federal TV channels beg to be filmed.
“Come on, come into the house,” the bride’s mother smiles, “(flash) What is this, why is he taking pictures? That’s it, go away, I’m offended,” she waves her hands and widens her huge blue eyes.
Gypsy wedding customs: the first wedding night
As mentioned above, the first marital duty is performed directly during the wedding celebration.
A room or tent is prepared in advance for a new family. Previously, two adult women from both families used to sit alone with the newlyweds; now “witnesses” are waiting for the spouses outside the room.
Afterwards, a shirt or sheet with characteristic blood stains, sprinkled with scarlet petals, is brought out to the guests on a tray. And the gypsy bride appears in the hall already in a red dress with an apron and with her head covered - now she is officially a wife!
If the bride turns out to be not a virgin, then the marriage is dissolved every second, and the family is covered in shame. In this case, the family even changes their place of residence, and the girl may never get married again.
Who did the money waterfall hit?
While Evka danced in a money dance, one of the relatives enthusiastically scattered euros among the guests, sprinkled five hundred and gold coins on the heads of the young people. A real financial rain fell not only on the gorgeous couple getting married, but also on all the invitees. No one was left offended. The generous gypsy many times presented each violinist and troubadour with cash, slipping large sums of money directly under the strings of the satisfied musicians. Interestingly, torn pieces of euros also fell on Evka’s head - all from the hands of the same hospitable relative. Now Luke’s life partner should certainly turn into a big magnet for cash flows.
By the way, when the holiday passions subsided, the husband and wife sat down at the table and started accounting. And with the most serious faces. They began to count how many crisp bills there were in those bundles that the generous uncle did not have time to scatter. And what directly went to the heroes of this enchanting holiday. Love is love, but there is no time for sentimentality. The main thing is to combine debit with credit.
