Funny and creative wedding greetings

Even at a wedding, sometimes you need to defuse the situation. Do you see that the guests are bored at the table? Then it’s time to take the floor and cheer up those gathered. Funny wedding congratulations always look appropriate. These are small stories that illustrate the future life of a young family. No matter how much you want to live without quarrels, disputes, in harmony and agreement, you still cannot do without them. And everyone present understands this. Therefore, witty congratulatory speeches are just right for a wedding celebration.

The best funny congratulations for a wedding

Congratulations in verse at a wedding banquet are rarely funny. If you choose this, you need to have the artistry and charisma to make it truly fun. You will have to read the poems with expression, the main thing is not for a fifth grade student and without stuttering. Pay attention to the funny congratulations in prose.

Everyone jokes about voluntary imprisonment, but why are you worse?

Dear newlyweds! Today, please note, absolutely voluntarily, you signed documents on life imprisonment. Since you have resolutely ignored all the warnings from people who know a lot about this and love you uncontrollably, now you simply must be happy and cheerful (or at least smile broadly in our presence). And as soon as you expel all the drunken guests from here, wake up everyone who is sleeping under the table and making salad masks on their faces, we advise you to immediately go in search of that only child-bearing bird, popularly called the stork. And remember: even if marriage is a noose tied around two necks, then let the one that tied you be woven from delicate and fragrant flowers. And here the main thing is that no one has allergies... In general, happiness, success, mutual understanding to you, and if you manage to become rich, then be sure to remember who gave you this wonderful wish!

It would not be amiss to once again remind the newlyweds that they are not ready for family life. Even if they have lived together for more than one year.

No matter how you prepare for family life physically and mentally, it is impossible to be 100% prepared for it. But it's okay! Even when people jump with a parachute for the first time, they are also never ready and are very afraid, and then they get involved. Since you have made this tandem jump, feel confident both during the flight and when landing. Get the most out of it. And so that you never have the desire to open your arms and jump alone. So the parachute may not open.

There are also funny congratulations in verse, and there are a lot of them. If you know how to tell them beautifully, then take on board, for example, such a poem.

Neither dad nor mom, of course, knew that daughter (name) and (name) were walking. We were sure that my daughter was in the gym, jumping like a goat, pumping her muscles! Our groom, broad-shouldered, healthy, not frail, has an apartment and is painting the entrance, so that it would be pleasant to enter there, dear, Where have you seen brides loved so much? (name) courted (name) for a long time. Her friends admired her beauty. Our fiancé endured all the hardships from her, Those searing black eyes gave up! She will leave her whims behind the threshold And will be (name)’s wonderful wife, She will cook dinner, wash clothes And will be behind (name) like behind a wall! (last name) let the house be full, and call us, of course, to babysit. Live healthy, live richly, Let joy settle in your home!

Without a doubt, not only the bride and groom, but also their parents deserve attention at the wedding feast. Relationships with mother-in-law and mother-in-law are glorified in jokes, but father-in-law and father-in-law remain on the sidelines. A creative wedding greeting is perfect for the father-in-law. He definitely won’t be offended by this.

Do not be upset if you are burdened with your mother-in-law, with the groom and with a white dress, and you also get your father-in-law. The father-in-law will be very pleased if you send him, having given him a mandate and a new tie, to sit directly in the Duma. There they will give him a salary, And a car, and an apartment, And to celebrate, he will take his mother-in-law with him to Moscow. You will cry a little And in the old mother-in-law's apartment You will make jam and pickle pickles. And in four years, the father-in-law will come for a mandate and a new tie, He will praise you very much!

Well, the father of the bride is no worse. He also deserves his own toast in a humorous manner.

If you really want a strong male friendship right here, at your wedding, make an urgent friendship with your father-in-law, don’t put it off any longer, not a minute, not a second, take your father-in-law by the hand and lead him to dance. Right from dancing with my father-in-law, I need to go hunting, And from hunting to fishing, And from fishing to striptease. Don’t forget that at the same time you have to smile at your father-in-law and, while chatting about sex with him, hold his hand tightly. The father-in-law will be stunned at first, and then, realizing what’s going on, he’ll take you hunting, fishing, striptease. And of course, he will forget about his mother-in-law, and about the wedding, and he will certainly make a male friendship with you!

Original wedding congratulations can come from a variety of guests: friends of the newlyweds, brothers and sisters, and even the older generation. There is not a single family that does not have an uncle who skillfully teases everyone, tells jokes and funny stories. You can arm yourself, for example, with such congratulations on the beginning of family life.

Let's eat beer with doggy style, Vodka with spicy cucumber, So that your marriage is not a “marriage”, So that life can be the crown: Under the crown is now the bride, And at her feet is the groom... Let's drink so that there is room to make children with them! So that the children have a place to sleep. Where. And - their sleep was deep! In the night, sweet for spouses, Only love was heard moaning!
If hooligans come to you right in the middle of the wedding, don’t throw them out right away, maybe it’s us. You will seat us at the table, in those places where we have eaten little, and we ourselves can easily open the bottle. And while the teacher and uncle policeman did not catch us, together with you we will be for the newlyweds. Eat salad and drink vodka!

Naturally, you should not trust such congratulations to children. From their lips it will sound at least strange. Children's wedding congratulations are always touching, no matter how old the baby is. This is very sincere and involuntarily makes you smile. If the child is not quite small, grows up to be a real artist and enjoys learning poetry, prepare such a congratulation for him. It is funny and touching at the same time.

Congratulations, young people, and I wish you different things: A silent mother-in-law, a safe mother-in-law, A good father-in-law, so that he can sponsor, And a father-in-law who invests in you too!

Happy wedding day, happy wedding day, guys, Let there be money in the house, May you not sleep from now on, May you give birth to beautiful children!

Congratulations on your wedding day from the bottom of my heart! It's time for you to change your priorities: You loved dates and flowers, Learn to cook borscht, cutlets...

Newlyweds, congratulations, And I present this wish: Live together always in harmony, For this, a little is needed, For the husband to give flowers to his wife, For the salary to be paid on time!

Such a congratulation will sincerely amuse all the guests and allow the child to feel like an important person at the celebration.

Very funny wedding jokes that will make you cry

It was not very good form when introducing guests at a wedding to ask: “Are you from the victim’s side?”

Grandfather and grandson attend a wedding at the registry office: - Grandfather, what does the groom sign? — The act of unconditional surrender, granddaughters. I love weddings! The bride pretends to be a virgin, the groom pretends to have found the one and only, and the parents on both sides pretend to like each other. Only some guests are sincere - they came to eat and eat! Two friends met: “I’m getting married soon.” - Do you marry for love or for convenience? - Don't know. My fiancee's father said that I would marry anyway. At a wedding, one man gets up from the table and punches his neighbor in the ear! - For what?! - A wedding is a wedding, but someone needs to start it! Announcement: Selling a wedding dress. Happy! I got married in it five times and always successfully! - Uhhhh... and we had a great time yesterday! Whose birthday was this?.. How was the wedding?.. How was mine?!.. - I was at a wedding here recently! - What's wrong with your face? - They broke it for luck...

– Yesterday I confessed to my bride all my sins! - So what? – It didn’t help, the wedding is in three weeks.

- Natasha, eat a piece of cake. - Thank you, Yura, I don’t want to. - Well, eat it. Delicious! - No thanks. I don't eat after six. - Natasha, please. - Yura, I don’t like sweets at all. - Eat cake, fool!!! There's a ring there, I want to marry you! - My fiancée is a complete fool. Three days before the wedding, I accidentally left her a phone with an unlocked notebook containing the numbers of a whole bunch of girls, and she didn’t even make a fuss, let alone a scandal. - How much do you earn? - Three million dollars a month. - No, she’s not stupid. - So, young man, have you decided to marry my daughter? - Yes! - Can you support your family? - Well, I think I can! -Have you thought well? After all, there are six of us! Do you agree to collect his socks around the apartment, meet him drunk in the middle of the night on Friday, let him go fishing overnight, watch football with him, tolerate his friends and take out all the household chores? Do you agree to give her your entire salary, remember all the dates, regularly give her flowers and gifts, love your mother-in-law, don’t drink, don’t go out and fulfill your marital duty every day? - So you have to ask! And then, - 'in sorrow, joy...', muttering all sorts of crap... The matchmakers come into the hut and say: - You have goods, we have a merchant! Our groom doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, and doesn't play around with girls! The voice of the old woman from the stove: “Isn’t he a fool?”

For any bride, it is important who her chosen one is, what she looks like, what kind of dress she has, how the wedding is organized, the table is set, how much money is spent on all this. But the most important thing is that your friends die of envy.

At a Georgian wedding, one to the other: “I’ve been to many weddings, but I’ve never seen such a bride—I don’t understand at all whether she’s a woman or a man.” - Hey, shut up completely, otherwise I’ll stab you here - this is my daughter. - Sorry, my dear. I didn't know you were this beauty's father. - Fuck you - I'm her mother. — How well you turned out in your wedding photos! - Still would! The bride's makeup alone cost 500 bucks. - How much did yours cost? - I just washed my hair. Two friends meet. - Listen, how did you get such a healthy black eye? - Yes, yesterday I met a friend who returned from his honeymoon... - Well, so what? - Yes, I introduced them.

Short jokes about weddings

If the groom has a witness at his wedding, is the groom the victim?

When marrying me off, my relatives said: “We have goods, but you’re screwed!” The most traumatic thing is the word “NO” said by a man in the registry office. Throwing a bridal bouquet made of cacti will make it clearer who really desperately wants to get married. The groom at the wedding fell face down into the mud after the photographer shouted: “Mother-in-law on the left.” Advice for a newlywed: There are many advantages to getting married, but you need to get used to them. The groom’s house doesn’t know anything yet, but the bride’s wedding is already being celebrated.

Seeing the groom in the bride's wedding dress before the wedding is a bad omen.

After the fight at the wedding, I realized that champagne hits the head hardest when it's in the bottle. The daughter of the canteen director knew from early childhood where her wedding would take place. - There is Ivanovo - the city of brides. So, there must be a city of suitors somewhere? — Magadan. I accidentally caught the bride's bouquet at a wedding. And she threw it back. Why do I need these troubles? Everyone realized that the wedding was not for love when the groom released the dove with a note: “Help!”

About the toastmaster at a wedding

“What’s a wedding without a fight?” - The toastmaster shouted and hit his mother-in-law.

A tipsy toastmaster at a wedding: - Love each other fiercely... Everyone: - Vasya, that's enough for you! - And I say love each other, that’s how it begins... Toastmaster: - Dear friends! Today, only the closest and dearest people gathered at this wedding. It will be very difficult to provoke a fight, but I'm a professional! - Now we draw a pentagram with blood on the mirror and call Satan. — Good toastmaster and interesting competitions! - On the count of three, we all take out our cell phones, call our exes and tell them to fuck off in unison! - This is a good toastmaster! And his competitions are interesting! To somehow liven up the wedding, the toastmaster called the bride a whore.

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