Meeting the groom's parents: advice from experienced people

After the young man has proposed to his beloved and received the coveted “Yes” in response, he must inform his parents about the upcoming wedding and introduce them to each other . If relatives already know each other, the task of the bride and groom is made easier by the fact that there is no need to introduce them; you can simply get together and discuss pressing issues and details of the upcoming event. But in the case where the parents on both sides of the bride and groom do not yet know each other, it will be necessary to introduce them.

Of course, you should first introduce your chosen one or chosen one to your mom and dad. After this, you can already schedule a meeting between the parent couples. How do the groom's parents meet the bride's parents before the wedding according to tradition? According to traditions, the initiative must come from the groom's relatives . The groom's parents go to meet the bride's parents, and the girl's relatives must give them a symbolic gift. After this, the bride's parents can pay a return visit. However, traditions are becoming obsolete; young people can organize a meeting themselves.

Meeting the parents of the bride and groom at home

Dating etiquette rules

The planned meeting with the groom's parents will go well if you adhere to general etiquette standards. Following simple rules will help create the impression of a modest, decent girl who will become an ideal wife for their son in the future. Politeness, attentiveness, punctuality, and the calm nature of the bride will become fundamental criteria for parents when drawing up a general impression of you.

Don't be late

The planned meeting with parents must begin strictly at the agreed time. Being late may be regarded by the groom's family as disrespect, and your reputation will immediately be damaged. When meeting for the first time, be sure to be punctual and do not make your chosen one’s parents wait for you even ten minutes. The potential bride of their son is recommended to come to visit 10-15 minutes before the appointed time.

If the groom's family lives on the other side of the city, then plan your affairs so that you are in time for the start of the acquaintance. Ask the groom to meet you, and then you can come to your parents together. This will help you avoid awkwardness at the first meeting and start dating without anxiety. If being late could not be avoided, then sincerely apologize to your parents, telling the true reason for the delay.

Address parents by first and last name

To avoid making mistakes when you first meet, address the groom's parents by name and patronymic. Find out in advance the names of your chosen one’s relatives, brothers, and sisters. To avoid forgetting or confusing anything, write down the names in a notebook. Ask the groom how his parents address their grandparents. Perhaps the family has special traditions of communication between relatives. Some brides, without permission, begin to switch to “you” or use “mom” and “dad”. The groom's parents themselves will say when they are ready for such treatment.

Have proper table manners

Traditional acquaintance with parents usually takes place at home. The groom's mother sets the table, filling it with her treats. Ask your groom in advance if there are dishes on the menu that you do not eat. But if during the feast you had to eat unusual food, pretend to be delighted with the taste. Your future mother-in-law may consider it an insult if you criticize her treats. You can inspire confidence in the groom’s mother by asking for the recipe of the dish and saying sincere words about her culinary talent. Follow the basic rules of table manners:

Don't stay too long

The duration of the first meeting with your loved one’s family may depend on many factors. If immediately after meeting the groom’s parents you are invited to the table, then the meal together will last no more than an hour. For the first meeting, this will be enough time to get to know each other. In order not to tire your parents with your presence, do not spend too long visiting. At the end of the meeting, thank the groom's family for the wonderful welcome.

If the parents of your chosen one live in another city, then discuss in advance with your beloved about where you will spend the night. Ask the groom to warn his family that after the first meeting the bride will stay until the morning. But take into account the traditions of the family, and how they feel about the fact that the newlyweds will sleep together before the wedding. On the day of the meeting, behave as modestly as possible.

About mistakes and taboos

Young people often make mistakes that negatively affect the entire event. To avoid misunderstandings, you should remember what behavior should be prohibited:

To please her parents, a girl should not dress brightly and vulgarly. The young man's mom and dad will like a formal dress or pantsuit, rather than a flashy mini with a deep neckline. The groom should choose smart trousers and a shirt.
A woman’s makeup, like her wardrobe, should be discreet. False eyelashes and a thick layer of foundation will cause horror rather than delight.
Before the meeting, the girl needs to get her nails in order. It is better to paint them in light, non-garish colors. There should be no long nails.
You should not bring up the topic of your former relationship. Parents don't need to know the details of this part of life.
You should not conduct dialogues in a raised voice or express emotions vividly. This is especially true for demonstrative communication in couples. The mother or father will not like that their son or daughter is treated rudely.
At the meeting, you should forget about bad habits. The other party may not like parents who smoke.
You can't be late for a meeting. Such an outburst will be regarded as disrespect.
The parents of a girl or boy must be addressed strictly by name and patronymic. Some young people switch to “you,” “dad,” or “mama” without permission. This is not worth doing.

The acquaintance will be great if you prepare for it carefully. The main thing is not to be nervous. If you treat future relatives with respect, they will definitely respond in kind.

Father of the bride at the wedding

For any father, the marriage of his beloved daughter is a whole test. In addition to the inevitable financial investments, parents at their daughter’s wedding worry about her future and worry about relationships in the new family. But, at the same time, they feel legitimate pride in the beautiful bride. Traditionally, the role of the father on this solemn day is very responsible; he performs several important responsibilities:

leads the happy bride to the altar, handing over her hand to her husband. This custom came to Russia from the West and quickly gained popularity. It symbolizes the transfer of responsibility for the health, safety and life of the girl to her new husband. From this moment on, the responsibility to protect his family falls on the shoulders of the groom. Of course, in the modern world the original meaning is no longer relevant. But the ceremony itself, when the bride solemnly walks to the altar with her proud father along a path strewn with flowers, looks incredibly romantic and touching;
Dad opens the dance tour with the bride at the wedding. This first dance symbolizes the family's farewell to their daughter. Exciting, full of tenderness and love, it is especially touching. After the end of the dance, the father passes his daughter’s hand to the groom, which, according to ancient custom, completes the rite of passage of the child into a new family life.

These are the main responsibilities of a father at his daughter's wedding. But, of course, they can be supplemented and changed at will. After all, on this day the main thing is for everyone to feel happy and carefree. You can arrange funny competitions with parents in the lead role, or come up with an original scene with a formidable dad who tests the groom before handing him his favorite.

A little about traditions

Since ancient times, a properly organized acquaintance of the groom's parents with the bride's parents has been the key to a happy married life. Matchmaking was revered in many nations of the world. A large number of traditions were associated with this ritual:

In Rus', the best day for matchmaking was considered the Intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary - October 14. On this holiday, the groom and his family went with jokes and loaves to the bride’s house. Often it was necessary to get married more than 3 times. This was especially true in cases where the bride was everyone’s favorite with a rich dowry. If the girl’s parents agreed to the marriage, a feast was convened, at which the future husband and his relatives were present. If the wedding loaf was sent back to the groom, then such a gesture indicated a refusal.
The people of China have always respected the eastern horoscope. During the matchmaking period, the groom's family sent a note to the lady's parents, which indicated the name of the future husband, time and date of birth. Thanks to these data, a compatibility horoscope was compiled. After fortune telling, it was decided whether the young man was suitable for the girl or not. If the outcome was positive, the parents agreed to the wedding. The acquaintance of fathers and mothers took place on the day the young people signed the marriage contract.

In India, matchmaking is done by the bride's parents. This tradition is still followed today. The father and mother independently look for the daughter of a groom who suits her social status. Then they go to the boy’s parents and praise the girl’s thriftiness, beauty and dowry. Future newlyweds meet not in person, but through photographs.
In Polynesia, parents did not participate in matchmaking. The groom independently proposed to the lady his candidacy for the role of husband. To do this, the young man painted himself with war paint and approached the girl while dancing. When a woman agreed to the proposal, she and her groom informed their relatives about the decision. If they were against their daughter's choice, the girl could run away with her chosen one. In this case, the parents met without the newlyweds, and they still received the blessing.

The acquaintance of two families in the 20th century is often considered a formality. However, a properly organized meeting of future matchmakers psychologically improves the mood for a happy marriage.

The show is just around the corner: what to do?

The main thing when preparing to meet your future mother-in-law is not to panic. During the screening, everyone is worried: the girl, the guy, and his family. Everyone wants to show their best side, but at the same time they want to remain sincere and open. Excitement can play a cruel joke, and instead of a sweet and kind daughter-in-law, the guy’s family will see a frightened and hysterical girl.

Before meeting with your parents, you need to ask your fiancé about family traditions and who works for whom. Find out which topics are best left out of conversation. It is also necessary to pay close attention to your appearance, since the first impression is often decisive. It is better to hold a viewing on the day when the whole family of your loved one is gathered.

Thinking through your appearance

When meeting with parents, it is advisable to dress simply and modestly. Neat blouses, casual dresses below the knee, light sweaters - the outfit should not show the girl as a “gray mouse”, but at the same time should reflect her tastes. But you should avoid bright colors, miniskirts, high-heeled shoes and provocative cutouts.

One of the main components of a successful image is neatness. It is necessary to style your hair, apply light makeup, and tidy up your nails. When it comes to perfumes, it is better to give preference to light and fresh aromas. The girl’s task is to look natural, simple and tasteful in front of her beloved’s parents.

Do I need to give something?

At the first meeting, gifts are not needed, since such a gesture may be perceived as a “bribe.” But you can buy something for tea, and if there are small children in the family, it is recommended to buy simple toys for them. Before buying sweets, you need to ask the guy if his relatives have allergies or other contraindications. There is no need to bake cookies or cakes yourself - there is a risk that the culinary masterpiece will not be to the taste of the owner of the house.

How to behave?

At a meeting with parents you need to be friendly, polite and restrained. Offer your help if you need to set the table or do other housework. Try to sincerely laugh at jokes, ask your loved one’s family about things that are interesting to them.

You shouldn’t talk a lot about yourself - this can make you seem narcissistic. If your boyfriend's parents ask you about past relationships or other awkward questions, answer honestly. Even if the answer may upset your future mother-in-law a little, it is better than showing yourself to be a liar or a hypocrite.

How to please your boyfriend's parents? Tips for meeting the groom's parents.

First, you must prepare and find out the names of your future relatives, as well as what you should call them. In the West, it is customary to call the groom’s parents simply by name, but in our country it is more welcome to call them by their first and patronymic names. One thing you definitely shouldn’t do is call them dad and mom right away. This may at least discourage and shock them. Although some are just waiting for such words. But to be sure, it’s still not worth it. After all, there are those who are of the opinion that a person’s mom and dad are given in a single copy, and all the rest are a pleasant addition to these titles. Perhaps they also hold similar views.

In the presence of his parents, you should not call him using the adjective “my...”. He became “yours” relatively recently, and perhaps not for long, but for his parents he was and will remain “theirs,” so here you can encroach on the sacred. Therefore, we advise you to monitor your speech.

You should not lie or even embellish any facts. Someday this may come to light, then it will turn into a disaster for you

If possible, you generally remain silent as much as possible, let them speak, listen more, take into account. From this conversation you may be able to understand who you will have to deal with in the future

Pay attention to what kind of relationships prevail in your fiancé's family. It is quite possible that just such a relationship awaits you, because your young man grew up on such principles and for him they were, perhaps, the ideal of a relationship between a man and a woman

And if he is satisfied with them, then it is unlikely that you will be able to convince him of anything. After all, family is sacred.

If your fiancé leaves the room, you can take a moment to thank his parents for raising you to the man of your dreams. You are very grateful and grateful to them for this. They will probably be flattered by this. In addition, remember that in their presence you will have to say only good things about him. They themselves know very well about his shortcomings, they raised him that way. But hearing about what a master you are in raising children is always pleasant.

If you are afraid of an awkward situation, then agree in advance with your chosen one so that he does not leave you alone with them for a long time. However, due to his carelessness, he can still act so meanly towards you, so in this case you should always have a backup plan or topic of conversation.

The best of these topics will, of course, be a joint viewing of a family photo album. Ask to show you his childhood photos. Parents are always happy about this, because you understand that you were not always with him, but they saw all his first movements, steps, successes and failures. So this will only be a plus in your piggy bank. In addition, they are always pleased to relive wonderful childhood memories.

Now, as for the appearance and some specific things. Remember that your fiancé's parents are people of a different generation. They may have the same tastes in clothing as modern young people, but most likely they may not. So you shouldn’t come in a very short skirt with an indecently open top. Remove all excess hardware (a bunch of rings, if you have more than two earrings, you need to remove them too, the same applies to piercings). Perhaps you should give preference to a medium-length skirt, even if you have never worn a skirt. Remember, this is just for one evening.

You should bring something neutral as a gift. It’s very good if you bake well, then you can bake your signature dish and bring it as a tea treat. You should not come with flowers, this is the prerogative of men. In extreme cases, you can always buy a box of chocolates or a cake (you shouldn’t skimp on this, it’s better to choose a little more expensive than average or just expensive).

If you see things heading towards the dinner table, be sure to offer your help. So the mother of your chosen one will understand that you are not a slacker, that you are a good housewife.

And remember, most likely his parents will not like you one hundred percent, at least not the first time, because you are “stealing” their boy from them. However, sooner or later they will definitely get used to it, and the more positive you show yourself at the first meeting, the faster this reconciliation will happen.

Greeted by clothes...

Even in time immemorial they said: “You meet by your clothes, but you see off by your mind.” And indeed it is. The first thing his family will do when they meet is to evaluate you visually.

Anya, manager:
I remember how my mother-in-law, after the wedding, told her relatives about our first meeting with her. And no, she didn’t say how good I was, she said: “I remember the first time I saw her, so cute, in that red sports jacket. It suited her so well.” My husband’s family is sports and our first meeting was before going to a hockey club match where my husband’s younger brother plays.

What to wear to lay a good foundation for dating from the first seconds?

Conciseness . What does it mean? Clothing should not be vulgar, without aggressive colors (acid, gold, leopard print, etc.).
Neatness . No stains or greasy sleeves! Everything should be ironed and sparkling clean. You can create an aura of purity for yourself by using an unobtrusive light perfume.
Speaking of perfume - no intoxicating smells ! Only light and delicate notes. Leave aggressively sweet and other aromas for another occasion.
Shoes without huge heels, broken toes and scratched texture . No one will look at shoes under a microscope. And even if there is a small defect, you can correct it. For example, a scratched heel can be touched up with regular nail polish.
Clothes without deep necklines and mini. Your task is not to demonstrate all your charms, but to please your parents, so choose less revealing outfits. Hide tattoos and piercings, no need to bother your parents right away.
Appropriateness of clothing . If his parents invited you to nature, then it is appropriate to wear an appropriate outfit (for example, sportswear), and not a cocktail dress, so that you can then tug at him and hurry the guy to leave as quickly as possible.

There is no need to go to extremes. You don't have to look like a gray mouse! Look how royalty Kate Middleton dresses. This is the epitome of elegance. But even here you need to maintain balance! Dressing primly can put his parents in an awkward position. What if they expected to sit at home and have a heart-to-heart talk? And a girl dressed like a queen before going out will create a tense atmosphere.

How to organize a meeting between parents before the wedding

As a rule, the parents of the bride and groom meet shortly before the wedding. For a meeting between two families to be wonderful, it needs to be organized correctly. To do this, you need to take into account many nuances.

Collection of information

In order for the acquaintance to proceed without unpleasant incidents, it is necessary to prepare in advance. To do this, you need to find out all the information that will be useful at the meeting:

what the parents of a man or woman are interested in;
what style of clothing do they prefer;
what they are afraid to see at the meeting;
what questions should not be asked.

The more information you know about the parents, the easier it is to plan a meeting.

Choosing the optimal time

The optimal time for dating is considered to be evening. Parents will be able to get some sleep, get themselves in order, and then go to the meeting.

It is better to organize an event on a weekend, because after work, every person dreams of relaxation, and not of meeting new people. Of course, there are exceptions. If parents want to meet during the daytime, then they should not contradict so as not to cause negativity.

Where is the best place to organize a meeting?

It is advisable that the meeting be held on neutral territory. A restaurant or cafe is perfect for this. But you should not choose an expensive establishment. Excessive pathos will cause discomfort.

If the parents of the newlyweds decide to organize a meeting at home, they should not refuse the offer. After all, this is a good opportunity to study the place where your future son-in-law or daughter-in-law grew up.

Menu creation

The menu is an important attribute of a serious event. It needs to be compiled in advance.

Advice: if the meeting will take place in a restaurant, it is better to choose an establishment with European or Russian cuisine. A rich assortment of dishes will allow each relative to make a choice to suit their taste. You should not meet in narrowly focused restaurants that serve only sushi, pizza or kebab.

If the meeting will take place at home, in this case you need to find out in advance the gastronomic preferences of the future matchmakers. When parents are Muslim, they are unlikely to like a menu that contains only pork.

It is also necessary to clarify information about the presence of allergies or unloved foods. This information will help you avoid a lot of unpleasant situations. You should not put a lot of alcohol on the table. One bottle of wine is enough.

Cultural program

Dating should not be turned into a busy event. The cultural program should contain as few distractions as possible:

loud music;
songs;
films;
all kinds of excursions;
dancing.

But it is important to understand that parents came to meet their future relatives, and not to an entertainment show, so you should not invite all kinds of animators

Gifts as a sign of respect

As a sign of respect to the parents of the girl and the groom, you can give small gifts when meeting. You should not present pompous or overly expensive souvenirs. Future matchmakers may perceive such a sign of attention as boasting or bribery.

After the wedding, there will be plenty of reasons for serious gifts, so it is better to save ideas and funds for the future. On the day you meet, it is better to give preference to symbolic surprises. You can give mom:

bouquet of flowers;
a box of chocolates;
a bar of your favorite chocolate;
things related to the favorite hobby of the future mother-in-law (yarn, beads, brushes and paints);
a gift made with your own hands (knitted sweater, tablecloth, painting, you can make delicious pies).

You can present your father with:

set of Cuban cigars;
beer mug;
a bouquet of sausage and dried fish, made with your own hands;
fishing equipment.

Animals should not be given as gifts. A person must make the decision to have a pet independently. In order not to make a mistake with a surprise, you need to analyze in advance what kind of gift your parents will like.

What to say and what not to mention

When meeting, it is very important to find a common topic for conversation, then people will only have pleasant impressions from the meeting. To eliminate awkward pauses during a conversation, young people need to come up with a list of interesting topics to support the discussion in advance

It's better to talk about neutral things, such as:

dating history;
favorite activities;
new films;
hobby;
funny stories from childhood.

During the conversation, you should not talk about religion and politics, as such topics can cause heated debates, which can ruin the evening.

Meeting parents - how to behave during the meeting

Before meeting your chosen one’s “relatives,” ask the girl what her parents’ names are. Unless future relatives express a different desire at the beginning of their acquaintance, you should address them by name and patronymic. When accepting an invitation to visit, ask who else will be present

Try not to ignore either older or younger family members

Drinking alcohol at the table is a very sensitive issue. Many fear that the bride's father's offer to drink is some kind of test of the future son-in-law. Of course, this option is not excluded, but perhaps it is really not customary in the family to hold feasts without wine. Then the owners will be more likely to be wary of your refusal.

Behave naturally, but maintain restraint and composure. If you are a heavy smoker, try not to show it when you first meet your parents. In any case, it’s definitely not worth running out with a cigarette every half hour. If your hostess has prepared a feast for your meeting, pay tribute to her culinary talents by tasting a little of all the dishes.

First impression

It would be naive to expect that the first time you meet your parents you will win their hearts. The wary attitude will persist for some time. But the impression you make will form the basis of your future relationship with the girl’s family. If communication does not work out from the very beginning, it will take a long time to find mutual understanding. Try to remain confident, even if you are very worried. Follow the rules established by etiquette, but do not overdo it so as not to be considered a bore.

Rules of conduct when meeting parents

After introducing yourself to the girl’s father and mother, note that you are very glad to meet you.
Do not rush to extend your hand to dad; according to the rules of etiquette, this should be done by the eldest in age.
First, hand the flowers to the women, then give the prepared gifts to all family members.
Most likely, the owners will offer you to look at the apartment. Be sure to note that the house is cozy and the furnishings are tastefully chosen.

When sitting at the table, follow the simple requirements prescribed by etiquette:

look after the ladies, helping them pour wine or put salad on a plate;
use the provided cloth napkin, spreading it on your knees;
if the first course has been served to the table, you should not finish it to the last drop;
use cutlery correctly;
Don't talk with your mouth full and don't laugh too loudly.

Neutral topics are suitable to maintain conversation at the table. If appropriate, you can tell a funny life story or anecdote.

Rules of communication

Dating involves communication between people. Of course, different generations do not have too many common topics for conversation, but you still have to find them. An excellent reason for discussion is the bride’s parents’ hobbies, a recent trip, or attending a film or play premiere. This is where the information provided by your lover will be very useful.

By directing the conversation in the right direction, turn into an attentive and interested listener.
Try not to interrupt your interlocutor, keep the conversation going with short questions and phrases of approval.
Treat the girl's parents with respect, as if they were older people.
You should not show sarcasm in relation to what was said, joke, and especially ridicule the point of view of another person.

As you can see, communication with parents is based on the same laws as with other people you want to please.

Parent Questions

The first thing a girl’s parents will ask when they first meet is the seriousness of your intentions. Of course, mother and father will be pleased to know that their daughter is loved and you are planning to start a family. But if you're not ready to discuss a wedding date just yet, don't rush into promises to be there forever. Life may well change, then your words will look like false promises.

The girl’s parents are unlikely to take a direct interest in the financial condition of their future son-in-law. But they will probably ask leading questions. You should not be misled by assuring that you are a completely successful and wealthy person, if this is far from the case. It’s better to honestly admit that your income is not too high yet, but family is a great incentive to strive for more. Perhaps all parents of boys and girls start talking about grandchildren. If you are not yet ready to discuss this topic, you can gently and sensitively communicate this.

Useful tips

Additional recommendations are a necessary thing to get out of difficult situations, an ace in the hole. They are used in cases where there are some doubts or the dialogue is frankly not going as smoothly as we would like.

Ways to please your boyfriend's parents

A good impression on the younger generation from the older generation consists of several points.

These include the following:

If the young man brought the girl much ahead of time, then she is quite capable of helping her mother set the table. During these simple household chores, a relaxed dialogue begins and a trusting relationship is established. After dinner is over, you should offer to help with washing the dishes. The mother will be pleased that her future daughter-in-law does not avoid household chores.
If a girl wants to look after her boyfriend by periodically filling his plate, then she should not act as if she is his second mother. From the outside, such behavior will look incomprehensible.
At dinner, you should definitely try everything that your mother has prepared, and at the end express your gratitude to her for the delicious dinner.
After dinner, for example, while clearing the table, it is worth noting the level of preparation of the dishes. You can say that everything is delicious and ask for the recipe for the dish you like.

With the help of these tricks, the girl will be able to gain the trust of the mother of her beloved man.

What to do if they don't like you

Being in a state of shock after questioning and a large amount of information received, you can accidentally say an offensive word and not notice

But parents will definitely notice and be perplexed that the image they built from the very beginning has collapsed. If the mother and father behave nicely and friendly at the beginning of communication, and by the evening they become irritable, it means that a mistake has been made in the girl’s behavior. It can be corrected by apologizing at the next meeting and explaining the reason for your inattention (incorrect wording, carelessness, fatigue). If the mother or father notices sincerity in the words, then forgiveness will be received

Perhaps after this they will treat their son's girlfriend better.

Pitfalls: what you need to know

Picky parents, who from the very beginning of the relationship, without yet seeing or communicating with the girl, are against her, often try to put her in an awkward position when they meet.

What tests happen most often:

The mother makes an attempt to get her son's girlfriend out by some means. Starting with the phrase: “My friend thinks that (suppose) civil marriage is stupid. What do you think?”, she tries to understand how the girl feels about this, whether she will take her side or insist on her opinion. Questions about material wealth and the distribution of the family budget. The mother checks how much money her daughter-in-law spends and compares it with her earnings. If, after all, your son’s girlfriend takes the opposite position, then the situation becomes very tense. Aggression is felt in actions and words, sometimes hidden anger is observed. Psychologists advise to defuse the situation with jokes. A rare case is rudeness from elders, but if this happens, then you should not respond with rudeness. It's best to ignore it. If a girl complains to her mother about her son, then she will fight with hostility, defending her child. Such dialogues are unacceptable at family meetings, as they heat up the atmosphere. It is necessary, especially at the first meeting, to create an ideal atmosphere and present yourself in the best light

It is important to be flexible, modest and refuse if the young man’s parents want to show the apartment. You should also not ask for this, since this may be regarded as an attempt to find out about the financial situation of the family

But if relatives offer to look at old photographs or show drawings, poems and any of their son’s works, then there is no need to refuse.

In every possible situation, you need to show respect to more experienced older people, such behavior flatters them.

Much depends on the character of a person, his life principles and beliefs, so before starting communication with loved ones, lovers need to get to know each other. The willingness to meet relatives depends on the trust shown on both sides.

Present

Gifts are a guarantee that the parents’ acquaintance with the guy’s parents will take place on a good-natured and pleasant note. But there are rules that must be followed when presenting a gift:

flowers are a universal gift for both men and women, just keep in mind that bouquets are different; do not give expensive gifts so that parents do not feel awkward; be sure to give gifts to both parties (both yours and his mom and dad), this principle works flawlessly, since all relatives will be glad that they were not forgotten, that they paid attention to everyone.

After all, the most important thing is care, which manifests itself even in trinkets and little things. Please your parents; pleasant emotions when meeting will create a welcoming atmosphere

Bring a bottle of good wine with you, provided that everyone in your family drinks alcoholic beverages. If the acquaintance takes place in an informal setting, at a picnic, then have a barbecue, buy quality beer, or maybe something stronger, then communication will improve faster.

What not to give

Now let's dwell a little on what you shouldn't give to the groom's parents. And so, underwear, ties, shirts, socks, perfumes or cosmetics are not suitable as a gift. This is considered bad form, since only close people can know the preferences of their relatives. A stranger can easily make a mistake, putting the person in an awkward position.

Money will not be the best choice either. After all, this is not an anniversary or a birthday, but an acquaintance. And for him it is enough to prepare pleasant gifts that do not hint at anything, but are a pleasant addition to the upcoming communication, a sign of attention and respect, and not an attempt to arouse admiration or stun.

However, always remember that there is nothing more pleasant than sincere sympathy and attention. Especially if you find out in advance what flowers his mother likes

Men are more tolerant, and they are rarely biased towards future daughters-in-law. Therefore, it is much more important, first of all, to win over his mother, and only then his father, and then it will be much easier for you to continue further communication and acquaintance.

Who invites guests

Following tradition, the bride's parents should invite the groom's parents to their home for the first acquaintance. Today, traditions are no longer observed, so there is no need to organize a feast or convene close and distant relatives. The event can be held in a narrow family circle. Moreover, if the groom's parents decide that the first acquaintance should take place on their territory, it is unlikely that such a decision will offend anyone.

If the couple already lives together and has a separate home from their parents, the young couple can easily welcome moms and dads into their home. In this case, the bride and groom will have to take on the troubles of organizing acquaintance. Prepare a meeting script in advance to smooth out any awkward moments. Check with your parents whether you need to serve alcoholic drinks and hot dishes or whether they will be fine with a tea and coffee table.

Meeting the groom's parents with the bride's parents

The first thing young people should do before preparing for the wedding is to introduce their parents to each other. At different times there were their own long-standing customs: first, the so-called bride's viewing was organized, during which both families gathered, and then there was matchmaking, when the groom, along with his parents, came to the bride's house to woo and hammer a nail into the threshold (a sign that the red the girl is already busy).

Nowadays, everything happens much simpler: a certain time, day, place is appointed, and the acquaintance of the parents of the bride and groom is carried out in a calm, relaxed atmosphere. This could be the family's favorite restaurant or cafe. But for this to be truly at ease, young people must make every effort to create a positive atmosphere, show a sense of tact and take full responsibility for the situation.

Learn a few important tips to ensure everything goes smoothly without a hitch:

To avoid awkward pauses in the conversation, think in advance of a few spare general topics that will be interesting, for example, remember how you met and tell some details using a sense of humor.
Start a conversation about your childhood, your parents will quickly pick up this topic and indulge in memories, take out photographs and, lo and behold, a lively discussion ensues.
Talk about hobbies, perhaps you will find common ones that everyone will like and in the future this will be a reason for spending leisure time together.
After talking a little, smoothly move on to the main questions about the wedding, its preparation, choosing a restaurant and other related issues.
Let your acquaintance be diluted by a cheerful close friend whom you take with you so that it is not so scary.