In addition to the happy newlyweds, there are several people at the wedding who are in the center of everyone's attention. They bear the main burden of preparing and holding wedding celebrations. They participate in most traditional rituals, bless the bride and groom and are honored, welcome guests at the holiday. These are the parents or guardians of the bride and groom. A mother-in-law at a wedding is not just another guest. She is entrusted with a number of responsible tasks and assignments. As the official representative of the groom, she, like her husband, must look elegant and confidently perform her duties. Let's talk about this in more detail.
What to give to the groom's parents
The bride, entering the groom's family, must prepare gifts for her father-in-law and mother-in-law. It is not necessary to buy expensive things, the main thing is that they are useful and pleasant. The easiest way is to choose a general gift that parents can use at home or in the country: modern household appliances (multi-cooker, mixer, bread maker, blender), bedroom accessories (large blanket, pillows, blanket), sets of dishes (dinner sets, sets of frying pans or pans). A very good and practical gift is a set consisting of two bathrobes and towels. It will be a wonderful pleasant surprise if the bride orders an artist who paints from photographs to create a large portrait of her parents and their son. If finances allow you to make an expensive gift, then you can buy jewelry for your mother-in-law, and silver cufflinks or a tie clip for your father-in-law. A good alternative to jewelry is silver spoons or tea strainers. The groom's parents, who have everything, will be pleased to receive a small tabletop fountain or a miniature fireplace from their daughter-in-law. If after preparing for the wedding there is no money left, then you will have to make the gifts yourself. This could be a beautiful wall clock, embroidered paintings, unusual candles, wicker rugs or photo frames.
If the mother-in-law gives bed linen: signs
If a husband and wife live together with his mother, then under no circumstances should she be allowed to make the bed. If the mother-in-law changes the bed linen on her son's marital bed, this can cause discord, quarrels, poverty and deterioration of the financial situation.
If the mother-in-law gives bed linen, signs:
- You can accept tablecloths, pillows, pens, carpets and blankets, and bed linen with peace of mind.
- Such accessories will not harm you, even if your mother-in-law does not treat you very well.
- Be sure to thank them and accept gifts with a smile, kindness, and a happy face. A positive attitude will give her gift good energy.
Argument
What to give to the bride's parents
The groom, taking his young wife from the parental home, must give his mother-in-law and father-in-law good memorable gifts. Any piece of household appliance that makes housekeeping easier will look symbolic. For example, when giving a robot vacuum cleaner or a dishwasher, a guy can say that he is giving it in return for the assistant he is taking away from his parents. To give a useful gift, the groom will have to “interrogate” his beloved and find out what exactly they lack for complete happiness. They may not have a digital camera, a cordless phone with multiple handsets, a printer for printing family portraits, a humidifier, a good heater, or a microwave oven. If the groom has the desire and opportunity to give his newly-made relatives an expensive gift, then he can buy a summer cottage for them, and at the wedding, solemnly present a large photograph of their new property, enclosed in a beautiful frame. If your beloved’s parents have everything, then it’s worth buying them a ticket to a weekend tour or a long trip. As inexpensive gifts, paired cups or T-shirts with themed inscriptions and drawings look good.
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Identical gifts
So that none of the parents are offended, you can buy similar items for all four or make the same gifts for moms and dads. For an economical option, wedding medals “Best Dad” and “Best Mom” are suitable, and for a more expensive memorable gift, you can buy a watch and have a commemorative engraving on it. Good umbrellas will be not very expensive, but useful gifts - you can buy one umbrella for walking together for each married couple or give each an automatic umbrella. An excellent gift idea for parents is an electronic photo frame, in which photographs from the wedding celebration will most likely be displayed for a long time. As a nice addition to any gift, you can give your relatives four tickets to a theater or concert - this will help them quickly find a common language and strengthen family ties.
TOP 10 instrumental melodies
Instrumental melodies receive special attention and preference at celebrations, as they are lyrical and touching. It is enough to listen to just one song to feel it to the end
And if you also look at the accompanying dance, you can be completely moved to tears.
- Stas Mikhailov - “Who created you like this.”
- Violin – “Love Story”.
- Fausto Papetti – Abrazame
- Dave Koz – Faces of the heart
- Candy Dulfer – Wish You Were Here
- Heal the World – Michael Jackson
- Joe Satriani – Heartbeats
- Julian Sas – Blues For J
- Benny Golson - Autumn Leaves
- Dexter Gordon - Cry Me A River
If the groom decides to choose a foreign musical composition, then he urgently needs to familiarize himself with the translation and carefully read the text. It is necessary to select a text that will be appropriate to the dance situation. Of course, you should immediately reject options about broken love and heart, difficult fate.
For mom and dad of the groom
According to tradition, the bride presented the groom's parents with hand-made items. Usually these were homespun textiles, embroidered towels, and tablecloths. In this way, the girl demonstrated her own abilities in needlework and housekeeping.
Following this tradition, a gift from the newlyweds to parents can be home textiles: curtains, rugs, carpets, towels. A set of bed or table linen would be appropriate. Personalized embroidery will help add originality to the gift. Since few modern young ladies have the ability to embroider and have free time, it is wiser to order machine embroidery in a specialized salon.
Always appropriate, and most importantly, a welcome and pleasant gift will be one that is related to the parents’ hobby. If the future mother-in-law is interested in cooking, then she will obviously be delighted with cookbooks in gift editions, dishes, baking dishes, a set of spices or rare oils. If, on the contrary, you want to ease the household responsibilities of the “second mother,” give her a bread maker, multicooker, dishwasher or other household appliances. It is difficult to find a woman who will not be pleased with such gifts.
An appropriate gift for a married couple is a service. It is not necessary to present expensive porcelain sets consisting of many items. Even a small tea or coffee set, carefully selected and presented with the words that your young family is waiting for an invitation to a family tea party with your father-in-law and mother-in-law, will look symbolic and cute.
If you want your new mother-in-law to remember you with a kind word, give her good tea or coffee. Don’t be stingy and choose a decent option, purchasing it in large quantities. Every time, wanting to taste tea or coffee and enjoying its taste, the groom’s parents will remember the donors.
If funds allow, present the parents of your future husband with jewelry made in the same style. You can choose earrings for your mother, and cufflinks for your father. The main thing is that the jewelry is not fake or cheap jewelry.
If you don't have money for expensive and impressive things, it is better to choose another gift option. You should do the same if you are afraid of “missing the mark” with the style of jewelry.
Guide to action: 8 wedding tasks for the future mother-in-law
Let’s be clear right away: this is not your wedding, but your son’s. Let the young people decide for themselves what the scenario of their holiday will be, how many guests to invite and where. If your help or advice is needed, your son knows where to find you.
Save your energy for other things. You have your own responsibilities at the wedding, which no one else can handle except you.
1. Blessing of a son before marriage.
On the morning of the wedding day, before the son leaves for his bride, he receives a parental blessing. According to ancient custom, mother and father give their son an icon in a towel, having previously crossed him three times.
Note: the towel is needed to hold the icon. It is believed that the holy face cannot be touched with bare hands. In the old days, the mother embroidered the towel herself, securing with each stitch good wishes for her son, who was beginning an independent life as a husband and father.
For the wedding blessing of the groom, an icon with the image of Christ or a saint whose name coincides with the name of the son is chosen. For example, Saint Nicholas.
The icon with which the parents blessed their child is given to him for further storage.
2. Ceremony at the registry office.
Here, as a rule, the groom’s mother does not need to do anything. Her role is that of a spectator. You may need a handkerchief to wipe away tears of tenderness and light sadness.
3. While the young people are riding.
The newlyweds usually go for a walk after the registry office without their parents, taking witnesses and a couple of close friends. To prevent other guests/close relatives from getting bored, the parents of the bride or groom invite them to their place for a small buffet.
4. Meeting the newlyweds with bread and salt.
It is the responsibility of the groom’s mother to greet the newlyweds with a loaf of bread in their hands. According to the old Russian custom, this was done on the threshold of the parents' house, to which the groom brings his bride. The ritual of the meeting is of great importance. The bride enters a new home and becomes a member of her husband's family. The mistress of the house - the mother-in-law - receives her, giving her a warm welcome. The breaking of bread signifies the entry into force of the law of hospitality. Having tasted the loaf, the bride falls under the care and protection of her new family.
Note: by how the meeting ceremony will go, what piece the daughter-in-law will bite off, in the old days they tried to predict her future behavior: whether she will be an obedient daughter-in-law, hard-working and flexible, or will she begin to pull the blanket over herself and bend her stick. It was believed, for example, whichever of the young people took a larger bite from the wedding loaf would become the leader in the family.
For the father and mother of the bride
In the old days, after marriage, a girl moved into the groom's family, so the number of workers in her own family decreased. Today you can play on this by giving the girl’s father and mother an “automatic assistant.” A great option is a slow cooker. For larger gifts, a dishwasher or washing machine, refrigerator, etc. are suitable.
The textile sets described above (bed linen, tablecloths, towels, etc.) will also be a good present. Beautiful dishes will be an equally symbolic gift. Show your concern for your parents' health - a heater, humidifier, massager or salt lamp will undoubtedly make them happy.
The groom can present his mother-in-law with a bouquet, and if she is interested in floriculture, he can give her a rare indoor flower. You can give your father-in-law elite alcohol.
Both the groom's parents and the bride's parents will be delighted with trips to a sanatorium, movie tickets, memberships to the gym, swimming pool, and philharmonic society. If funds allow, you can purchase a country plot for them, or even better, a dacha with ready-made buildings and plantings.
At this age, by the way, many people have dachas and literally live there. In this case, you can give them tools and equipment that make their work easier (lawn mower, automatic watering system). The presented grill for frying meat will also be successful. Gifts in the form of decorative elements would be appropriate: garden lanterns, decorations for flower beds, small forged benches.
Haute cuisine in one set
Let's move on from universal gifts to more specific things. The “Chocolate” fondue set will open up a world of delicious delicacies. In order to surprise yourself with goodies, you no longer need to strain or have special knowledge in the world of cooking. What do you need to surprise your taste buds?
The gift would be appropriate if you want to highlight a girl’s cooking skills. After all, if the bride cooks poorly, the gift will be viewed incorrectly or even derogatorily.
After this, the structure is placed in a microwave oven. When the set has warmed up, you just need to mix the chocolate and go straight to the meal. You can dip anything into chocolate.
Fondue owners have another field for culinary experiments. Spices and other special ingredients can be added to chocolate. Everything now depends on your imagination. The set is made of safe plastic and silicone. Moreover, it will not take up much space in almost any kitchen.
Continuing the theme of cooking, a mulled wine set “Glu” can be an excellent gift. It is suitable for lovers of hot drinks and comfort. Now you won’t need to constantly warm up the drink thanks to the successful design.
What's included in the set? Decanter, glasses, stand and candle. Is it really that simple? It turns out yes. In order to have a good evening and treat yourself to hot mulled wine, you really don’t need to strain yourself too much. The candle will not only please the eye, but also maintain the temperature of the drink.
The glasses are made with double walls, so it will be impossible to burn your hands. There is a silicone ring on the top of the carafe. This is done in order to pour the drink comfortably. The stand is reliable as it is made of natural bamboo.
DIY gifts
Handmade gifts are not a way to save money, but an indication that you tried very hard and wanted to present something truly symbolic and unique. As a rule, before the wedding, young people have a lot of troubles and almost no free time, so if they created a collage on whatman paper or baked a cake as a gift to their parents, this speaks of their respect and strong love for dad and mom.
In the banquet hall, you can hang up old photos from a family album in advance , accompanying them with touching inscriptions for parents. You can create a kind of steam locomotive by cutting out trailers from paper. On each carriage you can attach a photo of the bride and groom from birth. The locomotive is mounted on the wall at the entrance to the banquet hall.
As we move towards the parents' places, the photos replace each other and show how the children grew up and the family changed. Directly next to the devices, in the place where the mothers and fathers of the young people will sit, you can put a photo in a frame. Young people can take photos with their parents a few days before the wedding, but it will be even more interesting if you do it at the registry office.
Naturally, such a gift requires a lot of preparation and the presence of assistants. But this is precisely what makes it even more valuable.
You can bake a cake or pie, the main thing is to do it yourself. You can attach a humorous note to the pie, explaining its composition and identifying each of the ingredients. For example: “to express our love, we put ripe, aromatic strawberries in the cake, and to show respect, we filled it with a delicate soufflé made from natural cream.” Undoubtedly, even with an abundance of snacks and treats on the table, parents will be happy to take the cakes (they will have to be prepared in 2 copies) home to taste them in the morning.
Instruction to the young - option 2
From now on (day, month, year of wedding)
I command the young man (name of the groom)
and the red maiden
(name of the bride)
should be considered husband and wife, who have mutually agreed to exchange their free and free life for a married life, and therefore they should only be accepted together, and not taken seriously separately, for they are one indivisible and whole.
The spouse should be the head of the family, earn a living, and not look at other beauties.
Let the wife not fear her husband, but love him, honor and respect him as a hero; does not tease, does not anger, feeds well, but in moderation, so that he does not become passive in business and does not become obese.
May you live a joyful and happy life. Give birth to a heroic son and a beautiful daughter. Keep the door to the hut open for the sake of real and cheerful guests. The soul lives not with Persian carpets, but with overseas crystals, but with true friends. Don’t forget your father and mother, share your sorrows and joys with them, use your parents’ wise advice.
Do all household chores together, keep the room clean, start family rituals, sing funny songs, drink fruit and spring water.
This order must be preserved and protected, for it contains unprecedented power. And if something bad happens between you, take out this order, sit side by side, read it thoughtfully and the bitter quarrel will be settled, you will have peace and harmony, joy and happiness in your home.
Fulfill the order and teach your children strictly according to it.
Unusual ideas and surprises
Most parents, as soon as they talk about the wedding of their beloved child, begin to look forward to their grandchildren. In this regard, the young people can present them with an orange tree. It symbolizes family comfort and continuity of generations. The gift can be accompanied by a playful promise that, just as an orange tree is covered with fruits (and it bears fruit all year round), so your parents will be surrounded by grandchildren.
However, if the couple is very young, and their parents want them to finish their studies and have a successful career first, such a gift may scare them.
Medals, cups, and certificates presented to parents will be original. The main thing is to truthfully and at the same time sincerely determine the nomination for each of the parents. In this case, it is better to reserve a special place in the holiday scenario for the gift-giving ceremony. The bride can say words of gratitude to her parents and explain the meaning of the nomination, and the groom can solemnly present the award. Then he thanks his family in the same way, and the bride is in charge of presenting medals or cups.
Bouquets of sweets and fruits look original. The main thing is that they are not opened or damaged. It is unlikely that parents will start tasting an unusual gift at a banquet, where there are already a lot of treats. But they will be able to take it home and try it 2-3 days after the wedding.
Ritual of welcoming newlyweds at home
The Slavs had one beautiful custom - to greet newlyweds at the doorstep with a loaf of bread. The ritual has changed only slightly. This takes place in the house of the groom's parents. The mother-in-law meets her daughter-in-law, accepts her into her family, and blesses her for a long and happy life. The groom's mother holds the loaf, the father stands next to champagne or another drink that can be offered to the children, because everyone has their own tastes.
Blessing with loaf
After the registry office, guests and parents go to the restaurant and meet the newlyweds there, so the ritual with a loaf is carried out at the threshold of this building or inside. The groom’s mother is holding a loaf of salt, the bride’s parents and the guy’s father are standing nearby. Everyone meets together. Initially, the speech is spoken by the mother-in-law. Then, in random order, the mother of the bride and fathers congratulate. There is no point in memorizing some phrases. It's better to say everything in your own words. The newlyweds break off a piece of the wedding cake and, dipping it in salt, treat each other.
After this, they begin to greet guests, accept gifts, congratulations, and present loaf buns or pieces of their large loaf. Guests are invited to the table.
Some parents are angry that the ritual has to be performed in a restaurant and not at home. But there are no problems. In the old days, the daughter-in-law came to live at her mother-in-law’s house, so the newlyweds were greeted at the doorstep like this. Now the young family lives separately, that is, it does not matter where the ritual will be held. The main thing is that the relationship develops after the wedding.
Icon selection
Everything is not so clear here. There is currently freedom of religion. Some believe in the power of the icon, others do not. If the newlyweds and their parents consider that this ritual is unnecessary in the wedding ceremony, they can do without it.
In the old days, icons were held by newlyweds at the moment when the guy’s parents blessed them with a loaf of bread and invited them into the house. There are several versions regarding who buys icons and which ones:
- the bride and groom buy icons themselves;
- the bride purchases paired icons;
- buy together.
The girl is holding an image of the Virgin and Child, the guy is holding Jesus Christ. After the ritual, the icons are sent to the newlyweds' house. They should stand inseparably, as they are considered a talisman of home and family.