Every girl has a dream: sooner or later to receive a ring as a gift from a loved one, which would be a symbol of love, tenderness, and care. Most girls find it difficult to get engaged without a precious gift - it’s like a wedding without a groom.
How did the tradition of giving this ring come about? Which finger is the engagement ring put on? Which hand should I wear it on? What happens to the decoration after the wedding has taken place?
Engagement: the origin story of the wedding tradition
An engagement is considered an official statement from a couple in love that they have decided to get married. After this, the girl becomes the bride, and the boy becomes the groom.
The Egyptians, who considered the circle a symbol of eternity, began giving engagement rings. In Ancient Rus', an engagement was called a handshake, or a conspiracy. The word comes from the verb “engage,” which means “to agree, to agree.” The ritual was considered no less significant an event than the wedding itself: it was during the conspiracy that important issues related to the dowry, as well as the joint life of the future family, were resolved.
The engagement ritual has taken root well in Christianity. Thus, Pope Nicholas I issued a decree that every groom should give the bride a gold ring as a sign of the seriousness of his intentions. Many nations had a tradition of giving the groom a wedding shirt made by the bride.
Which finger to wear an engagement ring on?
Since the engagement ring is a harbinger of the upcoming marriage, it is worn on the same finger as the wedding ring. As a rule, this is the ring finger. It is believed that it is in a special way connected with the human heart.
There are several explanations for this choice. Few people know that on the hand there is a vessel that passes directly to the ring finger, through which blood flows directly to the heart.
There is also an interesting parable that explains why this particular finger has such a symbolic meaning. It says that fingers indicate a person’s social environment.
At the center of this representation is the person himself, his “inner self”. This concept is associated with the middle finger.
The remaining fingers sequentially designate all the social connections of the individual as they appear in life:
- big - parents;
- index – close relatives;
- nameless - the chosen one of the heart;
- little finger – future children.
To further explain the essence of human life, it is proposed to connect the fingers of both hands in pairs. In this case, the middle fingers need to be bent as much as possible inside a kind of “house”.
And now the interpretation of the resulting composition.
As the years pass, the moment comes for the beginning of independent life, separation from parents. Likewise, the thumbs pointing to this relationship can be separated from each other.
Each of us lives at some distance from our brothers and sisters. And the index fingers, symbolizing this relationship, are easily spread apart.
Our children will also eventually begin their adult lives away from us. In confirmation of this, the little fingers that represent them are separated separately.
But no matter how hard you try, in such a combination of fingers you will never be able to separate the ring fingers. They symbolize the continuity, unity of heart ties, the inviolability of the union of lovers.
The ring finger, in many cultures and folk traditions, is the place to wear jewelry that indicates a person's marital status, including an engagement ring.
It is advised not to wear such a ring on any other finger. It is believed that this is a bad sign and can even provoke a break in the engagement.
Signs
There are many signs associated with engagement rings.
- It is believed that the ring must be new. You should not give antique jewelry or family jewels - you can transfer other people's family problems onto yourself. However, if the union of grandparents was strong and happy, such a ring will bring good luck.
- Engagement jewelry should not be allowed to be tried on by anyone other than the bride. An outsider can “steal” part of the family happiness.
- The future groom should choose a ring - this confirms his readiness to take a serious step. But you can do this together as a sign that in the family all decisions will be made together.
- If you hold the engagement ring under the rays of the rising sun, your married life will be happy and long.
What to choose?
Having figured out where the engagement ring is placed, it will be useful for newly minted grooms to know what kind of ring to give to the bride?
Everyone will give the exact answer on their own, but you should focus on the taste of the bride, her style and the degree of solemnity of the moment . You should not purchase jewelry with huge stones if the bride is a slender girl with thin fingers. A massive ring will not suit an elegant girl. And vice versa, if the chosen one is tall and rich in shape, then the modest symbol will be lost on her hands.
Advice! Choose an engagement ring based on the bride's personal preferences by examining her everyday jewelry preferences.
How to make an offer
Only lovers can decide how their engagement will take place. Traditionally, the groom presents the bride with a ring and flowers. You can propose in a cozy home environment or come up with something extraordinary. The scenario for an important day should be thought out in advance to take into account all the nuances.
After the engagement, the newlyweds inform their parents about their decision, celebrate the event in a close family circle, or arrange a magnificent celebration. Sometimes the bride and groom exchange gifts and receive congratulations from close relatives and friends.
The engagement and wedding rings should be in the same style
To make a duet of rings look beautiful and harmonious, it is important to think in advance about the compatibility of the rings. Today, many jewelers offer paired rings: engagement and wedding rings. But, of course, purchasing a kit in advance carries some risk. In this case, you can first purchase an engagement ring, and then, in preparation for the wedding, order the production of an engagement ring that will ideally complement the engagement ring.
If you are looking to purchase an engagement ring for your sweetheart, check out our online diamond ring catalogue. It features models in white and yellow gold, inlaid with single diamonds and a scattering of stones. If you are interested in making an engagement ring, wedding ring, or a pair of matching rings, they can be ordered from our jewelry workshop.
Please note that all diamonds inlaid into both ready-made rings and custom-made rings undergo mandatory certification at the independent gemological center of Moscow State University.
Size
This is perhaps the key point. If she agrees, the girl will wear the engagement ring constantly, so she should be comfortable in the jewelry - it should not fall off her finger or sit tightly on it, squeezing the blood supply.
In this article we told you how to choose a ring size for a girl. Let's remember the easiest way: go to a jewelry store with one of the jewelry that your beloved wears on her ring (this is important!) finger. The hand does not play a role, although the fingers of the left and right hands are slightly different in girth.
The consultant will use a ring meter to accurately determine the size of the jewelry.
Abroad
Which finger is the ring placed on when getting engaged abroad? In the countries of the European continent and in the USA, the ring is put on and worn on the left hand, on the same ring finger.
Germany has its own characteristics. Which hand do the Germans put the engagement ring on? First on the left, and after the wedding ceremony they change to the right.
Interestingly, not all nations wear a ring on their hand . For example, among gypsies it is customary to wear this jewelry on a chain around the neck. And among Orthodox Jews, like the Germans, the symbol of engagement is placed on the left hand, and after the wedding it is transferred to the right, making room for the engagement party.
Advice! It is recommended to wear the ring constantly until the wedding. But in the morning, before the wedding ceremony, you need to take it off, because according to tradition, the bride should not have any rings on her hands, except for the wedding ring.
Design and material
Equally important is what ring you choose for your proposal. Here you need to start from the girl’s tastes: observe what kind of jewelry she prefers - classic or unusual, laconic or flashy, with inserts or without stones. This will help you decide on the design of the ring. As a backup option, offer to walk through the jewelry department together and take a closer look at what your other half pays attention to.
As for the base material, the engagement ring should, of course, be made of precious metals. Preferably gold or platinum. In the first case, the higher the standard, the better: it is worth considering models of at least 585 standard. The color of the precious metal, again, depends on the girl’s preferences. By the way, models made of gold in two colors are in trend today.
In the classic version, the gemstone is supposed to be in an engagement ring. But their number, type and color remain at the discretion of the one who is going to make an offer. It does not have to be a colorless solitaire diamond. A gold ring with a sapphire or ruby is perfect for this role. Thus, Prince Charles gave Lady Diana a sapphire ring for her engagement, the new owner of which is Kate Middleton.
Recommendations for choosing an engagement ring
This section is intended for men who decide to please their beloved with a beautiful ceremony and a memorable gift. The choice of the latter must be approached with all responsibility, because its further fate and the girl’s response depend on how the engagement ring will look. When purchasing a ring you need to consider:
- Its size. To prevent the decoration from getting lost or being wrapped too tightly, it must be the right size. Finding out the size of a girl’s ring finger without her guessing why this information is quite difficult. You can ask a friend or future mother-in-law for help. You can also find out the size of a finger using a sewing centimeter while the girl is sleeping.
- Metal type and shape. Unlike wedding bands, which are supposed to be gold, smooth and round, engagement jewelry can have an abstract look and be cast from any precious alloy.
- Type of stones. Those who want to surprise and please the bride need to choose jewelry inlaid with diamonds - scattered or one, but very beautiful and bright stone. It is better not to use colored stones, as they do not look so solemn and romantic.
- Your opportunities and chances. Guys should remember that the cost and size of the ring should not in any way influence the girl’s answer and decision. Loving and devoted, she will agree to become a wife in response to a proposal made with a ring made of silver or even copper. Those who chase high prices and chic are unlikely to become good wives.
There are a few more rules that apply to wearing engagement rings.:
- According to the rules of etiquette, brides who change their mind about tying the knot must return the jewelry to the young man. What he will do with him is the personal choice of every offended man.
- If the engagement is terminated by the groom, the failed bride has every right to keep the jewelry as compensation for the wasted time and nerves.
- A bride who is unfortunate enough to become a widow before her wedding must wear the gifted jewelry until she meets another man.
- A woman must return the engagement ring even in the event of an imminent divorce. In this case, the engagement ring can remain with her.
In order for a marriage proposal to become one of the most memorable and important days in the life of the future spouses, the groom needs to think through everything down to the smallest detail. A ring, no matter how expensive and precious it may be, will definitely please and fit if it is given with love to a person who reciprocates.
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Muslims
Engagement is the promise of marriage and the beginning of preparations for the wedding. Since refusal of such a promise is contrary to Islamic order, it is considered a great sin if there is no objective reason for breaking the engagement.
Islam is a fairly widespread religion, but engagement and marriage rituals differ from country to country. Türkiye is the only secular Muslim country. In Turkey, you are allowed to have only one wife, not four.
And, of course, there are divorces. Turkish women have begun to resemble European women, they feel quite free, they cover their heads at will. In villages and mountainous areas, customs are more rigid, and in cities, especially resorts, it is no longer possible to distinguish a Turkish woman from a European woman.
Muslims wear a wedding ring on the ring finger of their left hand, just like Catholics. The engagement ring is also placed on this finger. It is interesting that a Muslim man is only allowed to wear a silver wedding ring, a gold one is a sin.
An engagement is a kind of agreement, after which no one else can come and ask for the hand of this girl. Engagement is obligatory in Islam. If it is terminated, the parties must return the gifts they gave to each other.
If these items were lost, you can offer to pay in money. In Islam, people sometimes neglect and do not pay attention to what the young people think, how the fathers of the bride and groom agree among themselves.
It is very good if the choice of the parents and the desires of the boy and girl coincide. Then the first attempts to establish family ties between families begin. The parties mutually send gifts to each other and gradually begin preparations for the wedding. There is another interesting custom, similar to the Russian bachelorette party: henna day. The evening is traditionally done at the girl's house the day before the wedding.
On the night of henna, a flag is hung in the girl's house, which means that the wedding is about to begin. The bride is dressed in a beautiful dress, her friends sing mournful songs for her, and her mother-in-law gives her gifts. The goal is to make the bride cry. A girl must cry on the night of henna. If she doesn’t cry, then it’s a shame, it means she really wants to get married and leave her parents’ house.
Signs associated with wedding rings
All beliefs originate from the ancient traditions of nationalities. In Russia, people follow these signs:
- The wedding ring should be smooth and without elaborate patterns. If the conditions are met, then life together will be just as smooth.
- You cannot put rings on other fingers. This can lead to betrayal in the family.
- If the jewelry doesn't fit or is dropped during the exchange, it's bad luck.
- Wedding rings should not be given to other people to try on. It is believed that it absorbs human energy.
- If a couple gets divorced, it is not recommended to wear rings or even keep them at home. They also cannot be used during a second marriage.
Similar signs exist in all countries, and in many ways they are similar to each other.
Despite all beliefs, wearing a ring should be practical and not cause discomfort to the owner. Some manual labor simply will not allow you to keep the ring intact. Therefore, often what finger a ring is put on when getting married is an individual question.
Features of selection
Which finger to wear the engagement ring on?
The founder of the American jewelry house Tiffany & Co, Charles Tiffany, made engagement rings with a solitaire - a single diamond - a classic for engagement. The stone can have different shapes and types of cuts. It can be set off by small stones placed on the fastenings of the main stone and the rim of the ring. English jewelers traditionally create engagement rings with 3-5 stones placed in a row.
Since ancient times, a diamond has symbolized eternity. By presenting his beloved with a precious stone, along with his hand and heart, the groom assures her of eternal love and fidelity. The stone will help the couple strengthen feelings and overcome all adversity and difficulties. In addition, these stones are the best friends of all girls.
Transparent diamonds are suitable for daytime and evening looks, and also go well with other jewelry. If the groom can’t afford diamonds yet, then you can choose jewelry with their budget counterparts: cubic zirconia and Swarovski crystals. They are cut in the same way as diamonds. That's why they look the same but cost much less.
You can choose another precious or semi-precious stone that matches the zodiac sign of your chosen one or emphasizes the beauty of her eyes. But before buying a ring with a certain stone, you should inquire about its meaning, so as not to accidentally acquire a sign of loneliness or widowhood.
Metal shade is an important choice point
Before choosing the metal of a special item, you should observe what kind of jewelry your beloved prefers to wear. At the same time, decide on the size and shape of the ring. If a girl often wears yellow gold jewelry and warm-colored jewelry, then she should opt for yellow-colored gold.
Lovers of cool jewelry need to choose a ring made of white metal. Depending on the allocated budget, this could be expensive platinum, cheaper white gold, or budget silver.
This is interesting: Engagement rings: how to propose to a girl?
When a girl loves massive jewelry, then you can choose a more complex multi-level model. The grace of thin long fingers will be highlighted by a narrow ring, and a heart-shaped stone will express all your feelings without further words.
