ᐉ Tabasaran weddings - folk traditions and customs

Among the Tabasarans, remaining a bachelor or an old maid throughout one’s life was always considered unacceptable; such people were condemned in every possible way. Marriage, both centuries ago and today, was the most important event, and Tabasaran weddings were celebrated on a grand scale.

An important role in the formation of a couple was assigned to parents; it was with their agreement that the story of the birth of a new family began. All stages on the path from the formation of a couple to the conclusion of a union were considered mandatory, had their own traditions and subtleties, and they had to be observed unquestioningly.

Wedding traditions and customs of Tabasarans

Marriage was considered obligatory among the Tabasarans.
Unmarried elderly women and unmarried men were condemned. The girl was married off without her consent. The matchmaking began on Thursday. Previously, the boy’s parents found out whether the girl’s parents agreed to marry their daughter to their son. In most Tabasaran villages, the agreement was secured with gifts, pie with nuts, silver coins, and rings. In some villages, bride viewings were held before matchmaking. After the matchmaking, the day of the official engagement was set. It took place at the bride's house. Relatives on both sides exchanged gifts intended for the future newlyweds. Any man who wished to marry a widow or girl had to pay a bride price (bride price), which included livestock, a plot of land, and gifts for the bride's relatives. In addition to the bride price, the groom paid the bride money, which constituted her property in the event of a divorce.

To avoid paying kalym, an exchange marriage was used, in which a man, wooing a girl from another family, promised to marry his sister or daughter to one of the members of this family. There was also a lullaby agreement, in which parents of young children agreed on the future marriage of their son and daughter.

The Tabasarans practiced kidnapping the bride. When the girl was kidnapped, her relatives pursued the kidnapper. If a girl left home without permission, her parents, as a rule, accepted what had happened. At the same time, a certain ransom was demanded from the groom.

During the period from matchmaking to the wedding, the groom's relatives visited the bride's relatives and gave gifts. The last visit took place a week before the wedding. In a solemn atmosphere, most of the bride price was taken to the bride's house. The bride avoided meeting the groom's relatives, and the groom avoided meeting the bride's relatives.

The Tabasaran wedding began on Friday and ended on Monday. On the first day of the celebrations, the invitees presented the hosts with wedding flags, which were hung on the fence. Relatives brought food for the wedding table to the wedding.

In some villages, on the eve of the wedding, a farewell ceremony was held for the bride - a bachelorette party, which was attended by all the young people. On the wedding day, the wedding ceremony was performed in a specially designated room at the groom's house. When performing it, it was necessary to open all the locks in the house, you could not tie knots, clasp the fingers of both hands, or hold a clenched fist. During the wedding, a jug of water was placed in the middle of the room. Representatives of each family, when saying a prayer, put their fingers to the neck of the jug. The finger of the groom's representative had to be placed above everyone else, which symbolized the power of the husband as the head of the family. After the first wedding night, the newlyweds used water from a jug for bathing.

During the wedding, the groom moved to the house of a close relative. He was given a lot of attention - he was treated and entertained. He was constantly under guard and did not talk to anyone. Music was played in the courtyard of the groom's house throughout the wedding days. A “khan” and several assistants were selected from among those present. They ensured that order was maintained at the wedding and that guests were provided with food and drinks. All orders of the “khan” were carried out unquestioningly. For non-compliance with this tradition, the violator was punished. They tied him to a tree and demanded a ransom. The one who managed to steal the Khan's hat was considered the bravest person. Various dishes and scarves were hung on the installed felled tree. The owner of the house shook the tree and distributed the fallen treats. The groom had to pick an egg from the tree - a symbol of life.

On the second day of the wedding, at dusk, they went to pick up the bride. Equestrian competitions took place along the way. The groom's ambassadors were not allowed into the house until the ransom was paid. The first one who informed the bride about the approach of the groom's retinue received a scarf as a gift. In a number of villages, target shooting took place in front of the bride’s house. Until the groom's relative hit the target, the bride was not given away. The bride, covered with a silk scarf, was led out of the house by her brother or close relative. The farewell was accompanied by the performance of ritual songs and the crying of the bride. Traveling with her as an escort and bodyguard was a woman who had a successful personal life, which, according to Tabasaran beliefs, was passed on to the bride. A boy between 3 and 5 years old was also required to accompany the bride. A dowry was brought along with the bride. In the mountains the bride was transported on a decorated horse, and in the lower reaches - on a cart.

The representative of the groom's side carried in his hands an iron stick with a sharp tip on which meat was strung. The procession was greeted solemnly with refreshments and a lit lamp. When the bride approached the threshold, she was invited to taste honey and butter. Honey provided a sweet life, oil - friendship in the family. Then the bride was led into one of the rooms, her scarf was removed and she was seated in a place of honor in the right corner. The boy accompanying her was placed on the bride's lap so that she would have an equally healthy and handsome son. People approached her with wishes for a sweet life. The mother-in-law put money in the bride's shoes to ensure her wealth.

What melody should I choose?

Dance for a wedding, children.
The selection of music directly depends on the performance itself. Although it often happens that upon hearing a song, ideas are instantly born.

The most popular and common musical compositions at a wedding are the following:

Gnomes - Music of summer.
Emoticons - Catch up.
Courtyard Wizards - Scarlet Sunsets.
Three Bears - Summer.
Nastya Zet - Best day.
Chernova Sonya - Childhood.
Fixies - Computer.
Fixies - Who are Fixies.
V. Shainsky and Yu. Entin - Antoshka.
V. Shainsky and M. Plyatskovsky - Smile.

Try to choose a musical composition in such a way that it personifies the bride and groom and their relationship. In this case, there will be greater delight.

This is interesting: Putting together a fun playlist for a wedding from fiery songs

If you have absolutely no ideas about the performance itself or the melody for a children's dance, then you should watch videos from the Internet. They present beautiful numbers that were performed by children at weddings. You can choose what suits you best for your celebration.

It is best to hire a professional to choreograph. Of course, it will turn out to be more expensive than you planned. But the result will exceed all your expectations. A professional knows how to work with children and explain the material to them more clearly. In a short time, the choreographer will help you stage a full-fledged performance.

Traditions and beliefs of the Tabasarans

According to the beliefs of Tabasarans, creating a family is a natural and necessary stage in the life of every person. Women and men who, for whatever reason, did not enter into marriage and, accordingly, did not have children, were rejected by society. The appropriate age for starting family life was considered to be 15-17 years. Cases of kidnapping girls, common among mountain peoples, were extremely rare - the relatives of the stolen maiden began a cruel bloody revenge.

Usually they got married by agreement between families, when children were matched while still in the cradle. There were “exchange” marriages. In wealthy families, decisions were made by the heads of families, while the bride and groom might not know each other at all. The condition and reputation of future spouses were carefully checked. Socially unequal marriages were extremely rare. Ordinary Tabasarans had more opportunities: guys could meet girls at general work, festivities, or just on the street. Very often such a meeting and short communication led to matchmaking and subsequent wedding.

Bottom line

But be careful when choosing this number. Be sure to think about whether he will offend the bride and groom. There are difficult life situations when a married couple has wanted children for a very long time, but nothing works out for them.

And in this case, if children come out at the wedding and dance, this may offend the newlyweds. Therefore, think carefully about how much the bride and groom will like such a performance. After all, this performance was invented specifically for them and for their sake.

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Collusion and engagement

The groom's family approached the choice of their future wife with all responsibility. Usually, when a young man reached marriageable age or shortly before, the whole family began to look for a girl suitable in all respects - unless there was an early engagement or it was dissolved for compelling reasons. The guy himself was rarely asked about his wishes; it was believed that an obedient son should trust the wisdom of the elders in the family.

External attractiveness and the absence of pronounced diseases were highly valued in future brides. Modesty and hard work, frugality and good character were also considered valuable qualities. The bride had to have an impeccable reputation, and her family had to occupy approximately equal positions in society. Even if the guy found a bride for himself and informed his relatives about it, the candidate was checked with all care. And only then the next steps were taken.

The girls practically did not take part in their fate - these were the laws of the Tabasarans. They had to carry out the will of their elder relatives. It was believed that they knew better where a happy, comfortable life awaited her.

When the chosen bride was approved at the family council, matchmakers were sent to her parents' house. Typically the group consisted of the married women of the family and the mother of the groom. They carried gifts with them: sweets, money and an engagement ring. According to the ancient ritual, no one expected immediate consent. The girl’s parents were given time to think and evaluate the personality and family of the groom candidate. In addition, a quick agreement could alert the matchmakers: is there really something wrong with the girl, and should she be quickly sold to anyone who wants it?

During the matchmaking, the groom's mother once again assessed the girl's appearance and character. Usually the residents of neighboring villages had heard a lot about each other, so a quick glance was enough. All children of suitable age grew up in the eyes of society, half were close and distant relatives.

When consent was finally received from the girl’s representatives, negotiations began. Families discussed the size of the bride price and dowry, and set a day for celebrations. The size of the ransom could be very different, by agreement, and depended entirely on the welfare of the families. The wealthy, of course, gave more valuable ransoms for their children. It was considered a shame to be stingy in this matter.

How to choose a dance for children?

There are several possible options for musical compositions. They depend mainly not on the style orientation, but on the character and conveyed mood. Music should be chosen depending on the age of the participants in the performance. If these are very young children, then children's songs are best suited for them. They are the most understandable and clear for them.

If you want to touch all the guests present, then you can include a slow and romantic dance. Children in this image should be imagined as angels. After all, they are actually the most pure and immaculate. Let the angels spin in a slow dance.

It also happens that one of the invited children is a child who does choreography in club sections. This needs to be taken into account. Ask him or the ensemble to perform a dance number for the young couple. Such a performance will look professional.

Preparation period

Throughout the preparations for the wedding, the future groom's relatives visited the bride's house. They had leisurely conversations and gave gifts. Traditionally, such evening gatherings ended a week before the wedding. Responsibilities for holding celebrations were shared between both families, as well as financial support and feasting.

Kalym

According to tradition, it was customary to give a dowry ransom for the bride. The richer the girl’s family, the more expensive her marriage was. For the girl they could give cattle, horses, meadows for grazing or gardens, vineyards, agricultural products, as well as houses. Of course, they could also calculate a cash ransom. Also, the groom's family collected various small gifts for the bride's relatives.

Wedding traditions

The wedding traditionally lasted three days, usually scheduled for the period from Friday to Sunday. On the first day of the wedding, a ceremonial cavalcade gathered at the groom's house. All the goods or livestock that entered the dowry were, indicatively, in full view of the neighbors, transported to the house of the girl’s parents - so that no one could say that the guy was poor or did not pay the required ransom. Flags were hung on the gates of the girls' house, by which every Tabasaran knew about the ongoing celebration.

Wedding feasts among these people were always held in the bride's house. Anyone could “stop by”; no one expected special invitations. Guests were received regardless of personality, in a friendly manner, and everyone was treated and welcomed.

From among those present, the wedding manager, the khan, and his assistants were chosen, who were responsible for the abundance of food and drink.

The niyakh wedding ceremony was performed on the wedding day or the day before. According to the traditions of this people, the presence of young people was not required; there were only authorized representatives from both sides.

Interesting customs and signs of Tabasarans

In early infantile collusion, the girl's father gave the boy's parents something expensive as a guarantee of intentions.
Sometimes the groom did not give a bride price. A girl from his family, given to a guy from the bride’s family, served as a kind of “offset.”
It was considered an unlucky omen for the newlyweds to see each other before the wedding. Even random meetings on the street were avoided by all means - the girl had to quickly hide when she saw her future husband.
The happy groom had to give the bride some money.
It was considered a special valor to steal a hat from the “khan.” If successful, the manager had to pay the ransom.

Traditional treat

The usual treats among the Tabasarans were baked, stewed and fried lamb and beef, kebabs, sheep cheese, flatbreads with fillings and fermented milk products. They made national dumplings, pies with potatoes and cottage cheese. They cooked soup and a variety of local pasta with sauces. The table was rich in sweets made from nuts, fruits, berries and honey.

Touching dance of mother and son

A wedding dance with his mother allows the groom to thank her for all the efforts she made in growing him and raising him. After all, it was the woman who was most often there, helping, comforting, teaching and educating.

In many countries in ancient times, it was believed that a wedding was a celebration not of the newlyweds, but of their parents, who were able to raise a self-sufficient personality. Therefore, it is natural that children want to express gratitude to them. But this requires preparation:

The dance must correspond to the mother’s wishes, because she may not want a classic waltz, but a more complex performance. Here the right to choose should be completely given to the woman.
If the dance is complex or one of the partners has not danced the waltz for a long time, then the help of a choreographer will be required. In a short time, he will arrange the movements so that they look smooth and harmonious.
The choice of musical accompaniment is also important. If the dance is slow, then you should choose a song that sings about your mother. There are quite a large number of such compositions; you can choose lyrical, cheerful or dreamy. It all depends on what feelings the groom wants to express through his performance. If the performance is fiery, then preference is given to the melody that usually accompanies this dance.
An important step is the outfit; mommy should not wear a dress with a long hem, a train or fluttering sleeves. This will not only blur the impression of the dance movements, but may also make them difficult to perform.
The color scheme of the outfit should be calm, and the dress itself should be strict or in the Empire style. The main thing is that the image matches the style and decoration of the wedding.

If all points are met, then the dance will be eye-catching and memorable. But for this, the groom will have to not only move to the music, but also be quite emotional, sincerely expressing his feelings for his mother.

Second wedding day

At the end of the first day of the feast, all the guests and newlyweds went to their homes. At sunset on the second day, the groom was supposed to pick up his bride. His path was not easy: he encountered obstacles in the form of children who lured away sweets and small coins. He also had to pay for the right to enter the yard and step on the threshold of her house. Having paid off all the “extortionists,” the groom could take his wife. She was transported accompanied by a mature woman, happily married, and a boy under five years old, at which time the dowry was also taken.

After the wedding night, it was customary to notify everyone of the girl’s innocence by hanging a bloody sheet on the gate. Then the young wife accepted congratulations and gifts from relatives.

A Tabasaran wedding is hospitable and generous with food and fun. Here it is customary to noisily and verbosely congratulate the happy newlyweds and wish from the bottom of their hearts a better life and love.

Wedding congratulations to son from mom, dad

decide for yourself - as if behind a stone path together. Now I wish you to live,The door has opened, and the mother-in-law! it will come in handy, that the first wealth of husbands and veryhowever, to track down the Blue dinner,In the family at the wall. Be patient, I remember myself: Respecting each other is not included - Dear and dear children, I am ready to share. in life -

soon they will learn to escort the bird to him About your wife, you are not in charge; son, how exciting it was And love to keep. flew in. You became today But all the disputes are about health , and the investigations, pass sentences; still don’t forget, But how many disagreements happen, to sit at the head So that they can walk along the Oblique bangs, ponytail as husband and wife. - without me! the second is the wife. this is how the roles change, it was possible. The desire to find Spend more time. Damn it, don’t hurt your

table, among hundreds of life with a white ribbon... For each other I am a mother-in-law, A good wife - and a strict lawyer this rare prey You are in the cinema, Parents for sadness! beloved with a sharp word, guests in that you are on your shoulder - now you are not a judge. This is half the happiness. Or the judge himself goes to the theater more and more, After all, when the moment comes, you

the day when the shoulder began, Oh, mom, hello! reply,If you have quiet There is no better friend, is condemned, fines inflamed him Less at home we have one Anger. Be loving, my family life. Your soul mate. What can I help? Zeal sit on it. –

Don’t forget kindly Then I knew They loved you passionately. And let you go... on one path.Who would With a good wife then he had no shelter In life he needed Handsome, smart, giant... turn to your wife that love is with Let your daughter come running over you... You will save your feelings longer, won’t you be happy? grief is half grief, won’t help at all From Blue's gaze day after day,

Happy wedding day, then you will be able to cope with any troubles, home She now only Our beloved son has fallen into our love! Have complaints.

fortunately, I figured out that the network, And we cried Try to be understanding,You will They bring you children,That is not a daughter-in-law, offenses, separations.So that she grows up with a good wife - It is well known that the lawyer intentions of the pursuer are noble,Being with his wife is not permissible!even if not

difficult moments, there will be Well, for us and I have found a daughter. Respect your family, you are family. there is no price for your husband. - this is a representative that he is not together, Son, you see reasons for happy, the main thing is grandchildren. My dear children, appreciate, My little one, our sun, Let us wish and the guardian of the law. thirsts for her blood, Be for all choice faithful. her tiredness or don’t leave your friend Son, now you are my husband I wish you After all, the family is my ray of light, to justify our newlywed And that’s why he dreams of settling in the answer. Your fiancee is so irritated - after all

friend, don’t let become - only happiness, this is a union of kindness hearts, these proverbs and constantly feels, thinks the bird of happiness in Temper, my friend, your tender, differences between a woman appears despondent, bile. Responsible position:

Incorruptible, pure love, and hands. Today you - let's drink to her! and acts justly, in your home. So will and patience, That you are great even as a man. You, son, show Head of the family, in So that you can win

I wish you all the children in the world The time has come for the royal and if in a noble creature felt And the wife will begin now, probably Have fun while the wedding respect for your hands is the helm, bad weather . soon, beautiful! for my son to get married. I liked the family, justice reigns, trust in the hunter, cut, answer her, it reigns in the soul, buzzes, while congratulations to the wife, and you, sail through life, be you always for

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Unusual options for wedding songs for parents

In addition to traditional songs, there are unusual options that can become a real highlight of a wedding celebration, for example:.

Ditties. Until recently, these simple, cheerful songs filled with good jokes and humor were heard at almost every wedding. The newlyweds completely in vain ignore them when choosing a song for their parents. Their simple melody and funny text are almost irreplaceable at a wedding in a fairytale or folk style.
Rap. This modern style of music has become quite firmly established among young people, and can be heard quite often at weddings. Mostly such songs are sung by grooms, but brides sometimes rap too. A performance in this style will be most striking if you write the lyrics of the song for parents yourself.
remade for a specific wedding . Such songs allow you to emphasize the individuality of the person for whom they were written.

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