The wedding fun died down, the cries of “Bitter!” died down, all the guests and newlyweds went away to rest, but the wedding celebration did not end there - there is still a second wedding day ahead. Many couples plan it too in order to prolong the general fun, communicate with family and friends, and share their joy in a warm circle of guests. We’ll tell you what they do on the second day of a wedding, which celebration customs came to us from ancient times and which were invented by contemporaries, and we’ll also offer you ideas on how to celebrate your wedding for the second time.
When to relax
Usually the second day goes by without any fuss and is easier to plan. The first wedding day is filled with romance, sentimentality, beautiful decorations, emotions and camera flashes. The wedding host and co-organizers try to strictly follow the rules; this does not always work out, but the desire to keep the celebration according to the script is mandatory. You need to have time to complete everything planned so as not to miss a single custom, not a single original or touching congratulation. The scenario for the 2nd wedding day can also be regulated and include many points, but it is easy to follow. The first day is solemn, but somewhat official. The bride and groom will remain bride and groom until the evening after the registry office. They are perceived as husband and wife only the next day. And the scenario of 2 wedding days, traditions and fun competitions will be associated with this feature.
TRADITIONS OF RUSSIAN WEDDING. MOTHER-IN-LAW'S PANCAKES
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In the morning, on the first day of their married life, the newlyweds, accompanied by all the groom’s relatives, went to visit the bride’s family, the mother-in-law on the Khlibins, as they say. The bride's parents set the table, and the guests treated themselves without any special rituals. However, it is worth talking about a couple of well-known, interesting rituals associated with this day.
Firstly, on the Khlibins the young man put on the gifts of the bride: the same shirt and trousers. Upon arrival, before everyone sat down at the table, the newlyweds treated the guests to the kroyans they had brought with them, pies, fishmongers, or even the leftover vitushka. Girls, former friends of the young woman, also gathered at the Khlibins and helped her distribute food to family members. Similarly, as after the crown, on the hlibins in front of the newlyweds there was one table set, but now the roles of the young people changed, and the young one was already spoon-feeding her husband.
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The main traditional dish at the table was pancakes, which the mother-in-law brought to her son-in-law and placed in front of him. Pancakes were baked dry and greased with butter when serving. The top pancake was not specially lubricated, because the mother-in-law put a gift for her son-in-law on it: usually a towel or a shirt. The son-in-law took the gift and, in turn, wrapped the money in the top pancake and returned it to his mother-in-law, saying that a dry pancake would not go down his throat. The mother-in-law, having received the gift, immediately took all the pancakes and took them away from the table. Therefore, at home, the grooms were taught not to be foolish and to get pancakes first, because if you put in money, the mother-in-law will immediately take away the pancakes, and even laugh. However, this is just a cheerful custom, and the mother-in-law brought back the pancakes taken away at the end of the meal, for tea. The newlyweds spent the night at the house of the bride’s parents.
A day or two later, the bride’s parents were on their way to the newlyweds for a treat. This final feast was intended for the parents of the young woman in her husband’s house and was called “peregostba” or simply “guests”. Sometimes for this day the matchmaker would specially bake vitushkas, which she treated to all the guests. On the third day after the wedding, they still rode horses; traditionally this was called “riding.” The Russian troika has long been an indispensable attribute of the wedding ceremony. In winter they usually rode on a sleigh drawn by three horses, decorated with ribbons and bells. This was where the wedding ended.
There are final rites that could be found during the first year of married life. For example, in the summer, during haymaking, a young woman, even though she bowed at the wedding, was forcibly bathed in a pond. Rarely did they carry out the threat to sit him on an ant heap. Also in the first summer, the young woman went to her parents to prepare flax or weave linen. It was believed that in the first year the new family had not yet sown flax on it.
Compared to Russian village weddings in the old days, the modern wedding ceremony has seen the disappearance of the chanting. With lamentations and tears, the whole ceremony was transformed into a new holiday, not extended in time, that corresponds to modern life. All that remains of the old rituals are isolated staged moments.
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Features of the second wedding day
As a rule, on the second day those closest to you come, you can invite only friends to the celebration, for example, if they were not there on the first day at the big celebration.
Reception of guests can be organized in an apartment, in a country house or in a cafe, take relatives out for a picnic or rent a gazebo at a recreation center. The choice of location will depend on your budget and time of year. This will have to be taken into account when drawing up the program; for example, the scenario for the 2nd day of a wedding in nature will be different from the scenario for meeting guests in a restaurant.
When inviting guests, keep in mind that most likely they will want to get some sleep. However, it’s better to get ready before lunch.
Ritual of border crossing
Outside of role-play or religious ritual, we consider symbolic actions and unconfirmed big words to be an attempt to deceive ourselves and others. In addition, we try to resist when we are drawn into something indecent.
All this was very natural for our distant ancestors, but the fact is that the people of the modern city have become unaccustomed to public rituals and perceive everything that happens very personally and literally. However, the wedding has been and will be a form of the so-called “folk theater”, on the stage of which not the real, but the desired is played out.
Ethnographers noted that in the 19th century this was taken for granted: the crying of the bride, the persistence of the matchmakers could look very symbolic, but their value did not decrease from this.
Who will organize the second wedding day
These could be active relatives of the couple or their friends, toastmaster or the newlyweds themselves. You should think through the scenario for the 2nd wedding day together with the first. Of course, this is an additional burden, but if you decide to gather guests after the main celebration, then be prepared for it. In addition to the script, you will need certain props, a presenter, equipment, and so on.
If you hire a host, then agree with him on competitions and traditions that you and your guests will be ready to perform. This is the easiest way.
But if the budget is limited or you want to have fun as a family, then the organization will be only in your hands. You will be lucky if among the guests you find a natural toastmaster, friend or relative who agrees to lead the holiday and will be able to relax at the same time. Ask him to come up with a scenario for the 2nd wedding day or use the following tips.
Like true hosts, you can entertain your guests yourself. We’ll also offer a couple of tips on how.
Suits for newlyweds and guests
If you have clearly decided that you want to organize a fun gypsy wedding, then an obligatory step will be preparing festive costumes and warning guests about the required dress code.
But, it should be borne in mind that not every guest will responsibly respond to the request to prepare a wedding dress according to the theme. Therefore, you can prepare gypsy scarves for women, hats and shirts for men in advance. In the modern world, there are many options for how to play up the image of the bride. According to gypsy traditions, the dress must have red, gold and white shades, which symbolize love and wealth. If you do not want to combine these colors in a dress, use any detail or accessory of this color. Ideas for the bride's outfit, makeup and hairstyle:
Classic gypsy outfit in the style of “Gypsy Aza”. A wide red skirt, a white loose shirt, an abundance of jewelry, loose, wavy hair, as well as catchy makeup will ideally highlight the look you want.
- A lush white dress with red details, as well as an abundance of rhinestones and ruffles. The hair is decorated with expensive hairpins, headbands, and a bright scarf is draped over the shoulders.
- A modern interpretation of a gypsy style dress. Here you can use your imagination and make your own adjustments and ideas. This could be a light white hippie-style dress, a hair band, bright makeup, and loose hair. If the wedding is celebrated in the warm season, then you should do without shoes to emphasize the idea of the image.
The image of the groom is as multifaceted as the options for the image of the bride. He can wear a light shirt in bright colors, dark trousers, and a vest. Shoes should be classic, patent leather options are suitable. Also a good idea to maintain the look would be: a burgundy or blue velvet jacket, a light shirt, dark trousers. Light stubble will complete the groom's look; grow stubble or grow a small beard to look like a real gypsy.
You should notify guests in advance of the required dress code by writing about it on the invitation cards. You also need to purchase additional items in advance for the female and male half of the guests. Bright scarves, skirts, vests - borrow from acquaintances, friends, relatives, otherwise, such items can be easily rented.
False bride and false groom
This couple must exist, most believe, and they usually don’t look for “actors” for a long time. Active relatives simply “nominate” the roles of the bride and groom. “False” and very funny. To achieve a humorous effect, dress a man in a woman’s outfit, reminiscent of a wedding dress, and add absurdity to the image of the “groom”: interesting glasses, a bright scarf, etc. His role is usually played by a woman. If the false couple does not object, you can apply basic makeup, put on wigs, etc.
The “newlyweds”, accompanied by guests, head to the place of celebration. You can come by car, or you can rent a horse-drawn carriage. This service is available in almost every city. It is especially impressive if the carriage has an open top, so that the “bride’s” veil can develop and the cheerful crew can be seen.
Arriving at the place, the mummers meet the bride’s parents, who usually do not recognize the daughter, but the escort of the false newlyweds convinces them that “the bride has grown up overnight”, “ate so much that she has gained ten kilograms”, “has grown stubble”, etc. .
In general, the guests begin the banquet, and suddenly the real newlyweds appear, who will have to return their places at the wedding table. They achieve this by performing various competitions.
What props are needed:
- wedding dress – you can rent it;
- suit for the “groom” - jacket, biker jacket, etc.
- bouquet for the “bride”, veil, etc.
Folk traditions, awakening of the young
The essence of the rituals of the second day is to ensure that the life of the young is happy and rich, the family is strong and large. On the second day, the newlyweds were visited by relatives and a matchmaker. The awakening ritual was associated with testing the honesty of the young wife. The sheet from the wedding bed was taken out for the guests to see. Traces of blood testified to the virginity of the newlywed. If there were none, then her parents were ridiculed. The father-in-law could have a collar hung around his neck as a symbol of the yoke of the Fall, and the gates of the house could be smeared with tar. It was a terrible shame.
After awakening, the bride and groom had to visit the bathhouse in order to wash away past sins. They steamed with brooms prepared specially for this in advance. Moreover, the bride gave the broom to the groom.
After the bath, the wife followed her husband home. He had to be the first to cross the threshold. This custom indicates that the head of the family is a man. Their relatives met them at home. When the newlyweds arrived, the father-in-law and mother-in-law set the table with dishes. The groom invited his wife's parents to the table, then his own. After this, the rest of the guests were invited. In Russian tradition, the obligatory treat on the second day was a loaf baked by the mother-in-law and gilded by the young wife. Gilding - placing coins on a plate with a loaf.
Gypsies and doctors
The most popular and recognizable participants of the second wedding day. Dressing up your guests is easy. You need wide long skirts, shirts, scarves, beads, etc. The doctor will need a white coat and tools: a large thermometer - it can be cut out of cardboard, a neurologist's hammer - plastic from a children's store, a set of "medicines" - alcohol, brine, for non-drinkers – bottles of milk, etc.
The scenario for the 2nd day of a wedding with mummers has a common basis, but this does not mean that it cannot be diversified a little. Usually improvisation happens by itself, but the guests are different. It will be fun for sure.
Why are gypsies needed? They start the fun and sell alcohol. Symbolically and only the first glass. You can pay in small change; the gypsies also accept dances and ditties as payment. To maintain the image, they need to ask to “gild the handle,” rustle their skirts, invite everyone to the camp, and so on. For artistic and simply cheerful guests who are ready to continue celebrating, this will not be at all difficult.
There must be music. The playlist for the second day may not contain so many romantic songs; you can give preference to drinking and simply fun ones.
The gypsies usually come out before the start of the banquet. Guests may also be greeted by a “doctor” or a “hangover ambulance team.” These could be disguised doctors and nurses examining guests and prescribing “life-giving moisture” or other “potions” to everyone. You can write out “prescriptions”, there will be a “pharmacy” nearby - “40 degrees” - and so on.
“Doctors” can ask “patients” not to crowd, respect the queue and be patient, because everyone will get an appointment.
These “heroes” of the scenario for meeting guests on the 2nd wedding day are often invited. After yesterday's celebration, guests happily meet such “doctors.”
Competitions for guests
Don't forget that you are not celebrating alone.
We need to stir up the guests too! This is how they will have good memories of the wedding. Here are just a few interesting options:
Competition “Sultan”. The competition is of a comic nature, for all the unmarried people in the room (and women too!). Men are given rubber bands with which they will have to connect the ring fingers of their fair half. The bigger, the better. The winner is the one who has more brides than his comrades.
Competition “Long Road”. Guests need to be divided into teams, each of which must make a long clutch from each other and available materials (clothes, forks/spoons, etc.) to create the longest line.
The winners are the team members who form the longest line and receive gifts from the newlyweds. Competition “Uniting Families”.
The competition is as follows: the newly-made husband is followed by his relatives, and the wife is followed by her relatives. To the music, these two “camps” walk parallel to each other, and then begin to play trickle. The presenter shows the movements, and each of the two columns mirrors this on a relative of the son-in-law/daughter-in-law. At the end of such twinning, everyone kisses and hugs.
Competition for mother-in-law and mother-in-law. Here you will need two participants and two jars of soap bubbles. Guest volunteers come out to blow bubbles, and the participants are asked tricky questions: how many times a month will you visit the young people? How long should I wait for advice in a week? Etc. The answers will be visible through counting bubbles.
At a picnic, at the cottage or at a recreation center
The newlyweds can come up with a scenario for a 2nd wedding day in nature. And carry it out yourself. It is very easy to organize a country holiday in the summer, in the spring, when it is already warm enough, or in early autumn, during the velvet season. The menu can be based on barbecue; the banquet area can be decorated with balloons or ribbons. This option is suitable for the couple’s friends, because older relatives prefer the classic 2nd wedding day scenario. However, not always.
Why is it better for newlyweds to entertain friends? Because no one can do it more effectively. You can offer a script that you just need to modify a little and add some personality.
Scenarios for weddings in gypsy style
A gypsy celebration is always a grandiose and stylized event. It is as fun and grandiose as possible. Guests are invited to participate in the dancing from the very beginning.
According to tradition, the evening is opened by the groom's mother and father, who perform a dance.
If desired, a married couple can join them, thereby showing special respect and honor for older relatives.
In fact, Gypsy culture is rich in customs and rituals. It's quite difficult to comply with them all if you don't even understand what they're talking about. Often, weddings in this style are only lightly colored. It can manifest itself in characteristic competitions and events. For example:
- All women present at the celebration are invited. The music is turned on, to which you need to perform the gypsy song. The lady who makes them the most beautiful wins.
- If you have warned guests about the costume party in advance, you can hold a competition for the best look in the middle of the event. To do this, those costumes that best suit the theme and look the most colorful are selected from those present.
- The gypsy dance group is invited. They perform their composition while dancing. The task of the camp is also to steal the bride away unnoticed. The groom must then complete tasks and competitions in order to have his wife returned to him.
- When going to a celebration, guests are also scratching their heads, trying to give the most original souvenir. There is even a special competition held among guests at gypsy parties, which involves determining which couple will give the best gift.
Newlyweds - presenters
Do not rush to immediately invite guests to the table. The tradition of meeting gypsies and doctors can be replaced by a photo session in nature. If you are in a country house, invite your friends to review old photographs, first pictures and videos from the wedding on your laptop. Better yet, find a projector and show photos and videos on the big screen. This stage will help create a comfortable environment, for example, if not all guests know each other well. Competitions can be held during the banquet, distracted not only by them, but also by toasts.
The newlyweds themselves can become the hosts and hosts of the holiday.
Extolling the virtues of the young
Many people are familiar with the feeling when an unusual flow of compliments, the lion's share of which are completely groundless, leaves a lump in the throat. Thank God, in pre-revolutionary Russia it was considered normal for those getting married to behave withdrawn and distant.
After all, not only they, but also all the numerous relatives on both sides converged into one family. It was important for everyone to show themselves and make an impression. This is the rich groom his parents put him on his feet! What a beautiful and hard-working bride this family raised! No one should have doubted the quality of the acquired family ties.
Competition No. 1
Make a list of questions to ask your friends about your couple. It would be better if these were tests with humorous answer options. Invite girls and boys to take opposite places at the table, so it will be more convenient for them to confer, thinking about the answer. Before you ask the first question, ask your girlfriends and friends to write down on separate sheets of paper a “punishment” for their losing opponents. For example, dance with the whole team in swimsuits. Ask them to hand over the sheets to you and start the tests. The winner will be determined after the votes are counted, points are awarded for correct answers.
Terrible contests
Many fear them most of all and look for ways to escape in advance. Various tests were widely practiced even in those days when the Unified State Exam and GTO standards were not invented.
For example, it was possible to test the bride's vision by sweeping the floor, on which there was a broken pot of coins. The groom's relatives rushed to dance on the shards, crushing them and throwing them away.
By the volume of unnoticed small items, one could judge how the future wife would cope with cleaning. The groom's dexterity and strength were assessed in dancing, and his ability to negotiate - in verbal altercations and even in a fight. Games and riddles helped to draw conclusions about what morals were in families.
Competition No. 6
For artistic abilities. Invite your friends to form small teams of 2-3 people. Give out tasks - to act out a scene from a popular movie. Prepare your props. The guests will then choose the best team.
Provide gifts for your guests. Interrupt competitions with toasts and dancing. It is better for the bride and groom to come up with a scenario for the 2nd day of an outdoor wedding together, especially competitions for friends. Guests will appreciate your efforts, and they will definitely like the personality of the task. The host, of course, can do it too, but the newlyweds will do better.
Unbridled Banquet
Not everyone can resist a lot of expensive drinks and food. In traditional culture, excess was considered an echo of the other world, because peasants did not just save every crumb from the table, every scrap of old clothing.
Getting drunk and eating your fill meant entering an unusual, mystical state and being on the same wavelength with the event itself, which broke the usual reality.
In addition, the energy of abundance was supposed to be transmitted through unbridled libations to the future life of the young. A similar practice was also observed in other rituals, because they even tried to feed and water the polaznik - the first guest of the new year - well, so as not to remain hungry in the near future.
When everyone is home
You can develop a scenario for the 2nd day of a wedding without a toastmaster yourself if relatives are gathering at home. One of the active guests can “conduct.” First, the bride thanks the groom's parents for raising such a good man. Then the young people treat everyone with alcohol and come up with a tray, on which guests must place a symbolic fee for a glass. Parents present the newlyweds with a loaf of bread and offer to bite or break off a piece. This is how it is decided who will make responsible decisions in the family.
A 2nd day wedding at home scenario could include selling spoons to guests. Usually they are sold by the bride. Only after the “deal” can guests eat.
There may be competitions to test how ready the newlyweds are for housekeeping and family life. The bride and groom are asked to peel vegetables, dress or swaddle the doll, etc.
The bride or mother-in-law can sell pancakes. Also at a symbolic price.
Another tradition is to feed your son-in-law from a spoon. The mother-in-law does this. In general, there used to be another tradition - the son-in-law washed his mother-in-law’s feet and gave her shoes. This is rarely seen at weddings these days. However, there are examples when this tradition has changed. For example, the bride and groom wash the feet of all their parents.
They continue to give their parents rides. If the scenario of the 2nd wedding day takes place, for example, in a country house or village. The groom must take his parents to the river in a cart, choosing a bumpy path. On the way back, from the shore, he is already carrying the bride’s godparents.
Fun scenario for day 2 in the village
Probably the most fun and long-lasting weddings are celebrated in villages. This is what happens today. Only there can you find such a thing as the third wedding day.
Village holidays are always noisy, bright and fun
After the traditional hangover and distribution of gifts to the in-laws by the new wife, the parents should meet the newlyweds with a loaf of bread. According to custom, it is broken off or bitten off by the bride and groom. The one who has the largest piece will be considered the main one in the house .
Another fun tradition is selling spoons. The bride brings the guests to the table, but refuses to feed them for free , saying: “Do you want okroshka, guests? Then buy spoons from me!” Guests symbolically pay for “tools of labor”, which the bride will give them in exchange for coins or banknotes.
If at the wedding there was no traditional finding out who will be born first in a young family , then the celebration of the second wedding day is the time to do this. To do this, sliders of blue and pink colors are prepared in advance, symbolizing a boy and a girl. Each of the guests votes for their option using banknotes, and then everyone calculates the results together.
Pink and blue rompers for the second wedding day
You definitely need to come up with an interesting scene, the purpose of which is to congratulate the parents on their new titles of father-in-law, mother-in-law, father-in-law and mother-in-law. In this scene, young people can ask permission to call them mom and dad.
It is necessary to prepare medals, badges and diplomas with new titles for parents in advance. You can also order inscriptions on bottles, mugs or T-shirts.
Fun competitions and a lottery are held for guests. Prizes are a must. It can be any little thing: a box of matches, a pen, a lighter, chocolate, a keychain, a refrigerator magnet, etc.
At the end of the celebration, you should thank the guests for the wonderful holiday and communication. This should also be accompanied by the tradition of presenting a hearth. As a rule, the oldest member of the family is invited for this purpose - a grandfather or grandmother, who passes a symbolically lit candle to their children - the parents of the young, and those to their own - the heroes of the occasion. The young wife solemnly undertakes to preserve this symbol of the hearth.
Candle for the second wedding day
Tips and lifehacks
It's a shame if a cool scenario of a 2-day wedding in nature or mummered relatives is not included in the family photo archive. Or better yet, a video. Typically, couples hire a photo and video studio only for the first day. However, if you are gathering guests again, and you have a script for the 2nd day of the wedding with competitions, then find someone who will record all this fun. This must be a responsible guest who will not succumb to the persuasion of “doctors” and “gypsies”.
When thinking about the second wedding day, you need to consider several nuances. Use tips:
- Consider the status and age of your guests - if your relatives are intelligent and have aristocratic manners, the mummers’ tomfoolery may be perceived as disgraceful and provocative.
- When offering pancakes, spoons and other wedding goods for sale, be correct and ask only for a nominal fee - guests may get angry and leave. A wedding is not a market.
- If you want to include national customs in the scenario, consult with older relatives - some guests may be very sensitive to mistakes in this delicate matter.
Respect your guests and do not include jokes and competitions in the script for the 2nd wedding day that could offend some of them. There will be those closest to you, and you will be able to understand that whoever doesn’t like it.
How to organize?
More freedom
Whatever one may say, the first day of a wedding always bears the imprint of formality. But how solemn your second day will be is up to you to decide. Perhaps you want to spend it in a swimsuit or, on the contrary, in a beautiful dress. Or change one to the other during the day))) It will be great if on the second day of the wedding you and your guests can feel spontaneous and comfortable. Then the fun will be less formal, and toasts and congratulations will be more sincere.
Think about yourself
Today is the second wedding day - no longer the responsibility of the newlyweds, but rather a bonus for the guests. Therefore, spend it the way you want - after all, this is a continuation of your holiday. You should not look at others or at “generally accepted” traditions, think that someone will not understand you or you will offend someone (for example, by not inviting them to the “second day”).
Determine Costs
When planning a wedding, immediately determine the budget that you are willing to allocate for the “second day”. Plan entertainment and number of guests based on this figure. Want to invite everyone? Please note that these are additional costs. Don't want to pay almost as much for your second wedding day as you did for your first? Start from the presence of only the closest people. The same goes for entertainment: you can invite a host, DJ and artists, and arrange an entertainment program. Or you can get by with simple competitions and live communication. Also consider whether you need a photographer for your second wedding day. If you are organizing a large, eventful holiday and want it to remain not only in your memory, it is better to invite a specialist for a few hours. If we are talking more about a family feast, pictures from guests will be enough.
Who's with us?
When planning your second wedding day, decide in advance who you want to spend it with. With parents and family? Then plan not too active entertainment and a feast. With friends? Your choice is an active and unusual pastime. Mixed leisure activities, interesting to everyone.
Buffet
An ideal option for the second wedding day, which is much preferable to a traditional feast. The buffet combines economy, comfort and freedom of movement.
Assign a person in charge
Organizing a wedding on your own is a troublesome task. Many brides refuse the “second day” because they simply don’t have enough energy or time for it. There is a way out: entrust the organization of some issues (gathering guests, setting the table, etc.) to one of your relatives or friends. Since the “second day” is no longer a wedding and does not require such ideal organization, you can easily do it.
