Gone are the days when guys were obliged to take the first step towards sex, and the girl created the appearance that she did not know “what it is and why.” Today, many young ladies understand what they want, but do not know how to invite a guy to visit. It's getting ridiculous. A beautiful, self-confident girl is tormented by the desire to invite a young man to the “continuation of the banquet,” and he, in turn, is embarrassed to “ask for it,” especially if the meeting is to take place on her territory. Remember, the main thing and the very first thing is not to be afraid.
How to invite guests
Every person from time to time has to invite relatives, friends and acquaintances to visit for holidays and parties. It would seem - what’s so difficult about inviting someone? However, in order for the guest to feel welcome, this must be done correctly. How to invite guests?
First of all, you need to make a list of potential guests, and only then think about inviting them. If you invite a lot of people over, you need to take their relationships into account
: If among the guests there are people who do not like each other, the atmosphere during the holiday can be tense.
It is important to remember that you need to invite guests in advance.
. If you invite a person at the last moment, there is a high probability of being refused: he probably has plans that he cannot change for your sake. In addition, having received an invitation the day before the holiday, he may think that they simply forgot about him (or someone refused, and he is invited “as a replacement”).
You can invite people to not too significant events (like friendly gatherings over tea or something stronger) three days in advance
, for family celebrations and parties -
a week in advance
, and for large celebrations (weddings, anniversaries, housewarmings) they invite you
four to five weeks in advance
.
You can invite guests in person, by phone, on social networks, by sending a written invitation. It all depends on the planned format of the event and your relationship with those you invite. However, no matter which method of invitation you choose, remember that you should invite guests in person
, there is no need to send invitations through third parties.
Of course, it is best to invite someone to visit in person, but it is important to remember that it is indecent to invite someone in the presence of people you do not intend to invite
. If you can’t invite someone in person, you can call. Just don’t write SMS - this is only acceptable for very close friends and not the most important events.
Personal and telephone invitations are more acceptable for narrow family celebrations and friendly events (classmates meeting, holiday party, etc.). For significant events, a formal form of inviting guests
- written invitations.
Such an invitation indicates the nature of the event, the date, time and place of its holding (possibly with directions), and the dress code. Spouses are usually sent one invitation for two
, and the husband's name comes first. You can also send an invitation like “+1” if you want to invite a person with his significant other, but do not know her. Written invitations are often sent by mail, but the most honored guests must be handed them personally.
Creating a mass event on a social network is not the best option for inviting guests
. Firstly, some users reject such invitations without looking, considering them to be spam. Secondly, every guest wants to feel special, and not just one of many. So even if you create an event on a social network, it is better to play it safe and write to each potential participant personally.
Even if one of your relatives and friends comes to visit you on all holidays and his presence is something that goes without saying, you should not neglect the invitation
. Firstly, you will still need to tell him the exact start time of the event, and secondly, showing attention is pleasant for any person.
If a person declines your invitation to visit, there is no need to be offended and demand an explanation.
: He probably has good reasons. And if they are not there, next time think: is it worth inviting this person at all?
If theater begins with a hanger, then any holiday begins with inviting guests
, which sets the tone long before the event itself. Therefore, it is very important to know how to properly invite guests: this is one of the most important skills of a hospitable host.
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Don't give up
In what cases do you unwittingly behave like an invader and cause subconscious irritation to your owners? When you lean on door frames, take the favorite place of the owner or hostess, touch objects on the shelves, pick up framed photographs, pet cats and dogs without asking. It seems like nothing special is happening, and the owners themselves don’t understand why they are experiencing unpleasant anxiety, but the answer lies in human psychology - you have encroached on someone else’s territory.
Guests are allowed to be where they are invited and to touch what is offered to them. The rest can only be talked about. As a last resort, ask permission - where is the best place to sit, is it possible to pet the dog, or take a book from the shelf.
We also read on gastronom.ru: A woman with whom you are not ashamed to visit
Flowers of life
This is sacred. Moreover, flowers are not only the children themselves, but also pets, including turtles and Madagascar cockroaches.
No one expects you to rush to the “junior staff” with hugs, but expressions of sympathy are definitely expected. And you need to show it. It’s easier with children - first you need to introduce yourself to them (“my name is Aunt Motya, what’s your name?”) After that, a gift is given. If your child is sitting at an adult table, check in with him periodically. You can also show a trick - the children are delighted with this, and you should have at least one interesting trick ready. After such unexpected magic, the child will definitely remember you and will look forward to the next meeting. By the way, don’t forget to prepare another trick for the second visit - don’t disappoint your children’s expectations.
It is not necessary to maintain long-term contact with pets. A touching glance and a couple of compliments designed for the ears of the owners are enough. Fish can be beautiful, a turtle is interesting with its diet - “do you know that they love dandelions? my turtle ate them with pleasure.” Exotic animals and other creatures (iguanas, snakes, huge cockroaches) will have enough of an enthusiastic “how are you not afraid of them? Taking off my hat".
If you are afraid of certain animals that you meet in the apartment, ask the owners not to let them out of the enclosed space. There is nothing shameful or indecent about this. People who respect you will understand your request, but you don’t need people who don’t respect you. Sometimes your own mental health is more important than saving your relationship.
Tell us about the rules you have at home
Each of us has rules that we adhere to in everyday life. You shouldn’t neglect them just to seem as hospitable as possible. It is better to immediately tell guests what to do and what to refrain from.
For example, your cat eats only dry food, but food from the table makes her feel bad. Warn your guests not to give her food from the table, even if she begs for it. Show guests who smoke where they can do this: put an ashtray on the balcony, provide slippers for walking there, designate a place where they can leave their jackets and they won’t get in the way. Also clarify if you are not allowed to enter any of the rooms: for example, if you do not accept anyone being in your bedroom.
Such warnings will not bring unnecessary discomfort to guests, but, on the contrary, will help to avoid it.
We love people who are like us
When communicating, look for what brings you closer to the receiving party. Perhaps it is a love of Russian classical literature, travel, or some kind of sport. You can always have a long conversation on topics that are interesting to both parties. Perhaps you once vacationed in the same place, or your children are learning French, or in the spring the window sills of both families are filled with seedlings. There will always be unifying moments - you just need to try to touch on different topics, finding the right one, or carefully look around. Ideally, interest should unite everyone present.
Another rule follows from the above: don’t stand out too much. For example, in the host family it is not customary to use knives at the table. This is wildness for you. What to do? Nothing to do. Eating with a calm look without a knife. Did you pour too strong tea? Take a couple of sips. When the relationship becomes closer and visits become more frequent, it will be possible to ask for less strong tea. People can be from different social strata, and from childhood adopt the habits of parents who are infinitely far from secularism.
Psychological etiquette recommends not to insist on social differences and not to show your superiority by demanding the correct glasses and spoons of mocha for coffee.
Follow the topics of conversation
As the hostess, you need to start a conversation so that your guests don't feel awkward. It is worth monitoring and guiding the conversation so that it does not go beyond the bounds of etiquette. There are a number of topics that you should not talk about when receiving guests.
- Politics: Your guests may have different views on how world affairs are conducted. To avoid conflicts and disagreements, it is better not to raise this topic.
- Religion: It is very easy to offend a person if you criticize his faith and beliefs. And you can simply seem illiterate if you know about it superficially enough, and bring unnecessary discomfort into the conversation.
- Money: This is a very personal topic for everyone, and there is a risk of hurting the feelings of your interlocutors if you can afford something and they cannot.
- Health, especially personal examples and experiences: for many this is not the most pleasant topic that brings tension. The only thing you can share is news about scientists or developments that have nothing to do with you personally.
- Discussion among those present: if a person wants to share something or talk about himself, let him do it himself. Otherwise, he may feel awkward, like those around him who find himself in such a situation.
We have already discussed here how to maintain small talk without slipping into boring or simply inappropriate topics.
Introduce guests to each other if they don't know each other
Be sure to introduce the guests to each other if they do not know each other. This should be done by the housewife: the process should not be left to chance. It's very awkward to attend a party where you don't know anyone and ask everyone's name yourself.
You can also note the common features of people when you meet them. For example, saying that people have the same profession or interests. It looks something like this: “Alexey, meet Nina - she, like you, loves horse riding.” This will make it easier for people to remember each other and start a conversation.
If there is awkwardness at the table, don’t focus on it
If your friend accidentally spills juice on the floor, just get up and silently correct the situation.
Don’t focus on what happened so as not to put her in a stupid position in front of other guests. In addition, many people, if you point out their mistakes or laugh at them, will simply be offended. Therefore, when awkwardness occurs, you need to correct it as quickly and accurately as possible. The same goes for conversation: if someone brings up an inappropriate topic, you need to take it in a different direction.
Asking questions
Guests are not only a feast. Show interest in the personalities of the owners – their hobbies and passions. If a person has a hobby, ask questions - how he does this or that, how much time it takes to make embroidery, a model airplane, a Christmas tree decoration. The owner's face will shine. Listen to what he says, sincerely admire - you may not be able to do this, but he/she can. The key to a person's heart is in your hand.
If you don’t have a hobby, you will probably find magnets on the refrigerator, paintings on the walls. We remember that we don’t touch anything with our hands – we look, we are interested and we express admiration.
Especially for those who love to host: Salmon recipe on the board that will amaze your guests
Make some space
Make sure there is enough space in your home for guests' belongings. For example, you can clear the surface of the chest of drawers so they can leave their bags there and have quick access to them if necessary. It’s also worth highlighting several free outlets near the place where you will spend most of your time. Guests may need to charge their phone, and if it's nearby, they won't miss an important call.
