Church wedding
has sacramental meaning. This rite is one of the seven sacraments that some people who love each other perform today. It symbolizes the complete transfer of oneself, one’s desires and aspirations, one’s life under the power of another person, consecrated by the holy church. A wedding in a church imposes obligations on both spouses that they promise to fulfill. The bride and groom receive a blessing for marital happiness, continuation of their family line, and raising their children. Each of the spouses takes upon themselves the responsibility to preserve their marriage day after day and not allow vain passion, which can destroy the most important thing - the spiritual basis of the marriage, that is, love. Today, a church marriage does not have legal force, so weddings in a church are performed by people who have already registered their marriage in the registry office.
What do you need for a wedding in a church?
Firstly, the readiness of the newlyweds. Organizing this sacred ceremony is possible only with the voluntary consent of the bride and groom .
The second condition is belonging to the Orthodox Church. It is impossible to marry the unbaptized, and it is pointless. If one of the newlyweds is of a different faith, then the wedding may be permitted provided that the children born in the marriage are baptized in the Orthodox Church.
The third condition is the presence of a marriage registration document . The Russian Orthodox Church does not allow people to get married before the wedding, fearing that one of the newlyweds may already be legally married? But after the wedding, even if you have been married for 15 years, you can get married at any time.
Organizing a celebration is a troublesome task, involving a lot of conventions. For example, it may be difficult to choose a date: weddings are prohibited on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, as well as during Lent. Therefore, if you are not married, but definitely decided to get married, you must first decide on the wedding date, and only then apply for marriage registration; and if you are already married, then choose the wedding day according to the church calendar.
Living spouses in a civil marriage without registration should know that if they want to get married, the priest will require documents confirming the official registration of the marriage at the registry office. No matter how long you live together, before the consecration of the union in the church, you must have your passports stamped.
Both newlyweds and married couples need to take into account some rules regarding appearance: chastity in clothes and makeup is harmoniously combined with the solemn church interior and a touching, spiritual ceremony. Pectoral crosses are required, and the bride's head must be covered.
The list of prohibitions on weddings is small:
- Marriage between close relatives is not allowed.
- The sacrament is allowed to be performed only three times. A fourth church marriage is prohibited.
- A couple cannot be married if one of the newlyweds is married to another person.
- Weddings with godparents are prohibited.
- Weddings of persons over 80 years of age or with a large age difference are possible only with the permission of the bishop.
- Church marriage between persons who are in a civil relationship is prohibited. For example, a father cannot marry his adopted daughter.
When can I get married?
The best time for wedding celebrations has long been considered autumn, winter days from Epiphany to Maslenitsa, the first Sunday after Easter (Krasnaya Gorka) and summer between Peter's and Assumption fasts.
In 2010, you can get married on these days:
- April – 12, 14, 16, 19, 21, 23, 26, 28, 30
- May – 2, 3, 5,7, 9, 10, 14, 16, 17, 19, 21, 23, 24, 26, 28, 30
- July – 12, 14, 16, 19, 21, 23, 26, 28, 30
- August – 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 9, 11, 13, 29, 30
- September – 1, 3, 5, 6, 8, 12, 13, 15, 17, 19, 22, 24, 29
- October – 1, 3, 4, 6, 8, 10, 11, 15, 17, 18, 20, 22, 24, 25, 27, 29, 31
- November – 1, 3, 5, 7, 8, 10, 12, 14, 15, 17, 19, 21, 22, 24, 26.
The wedding is not taking place:
- on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays throughout the year;
- during the Great (from February 15 to April 3), Petrov (from May 31 to July 11), Assumption (August 14-27), Nativity (from November 28 to January 6);
- on the eve of the twelve, temple and great holidays;
- in continuation of the Christmastide, from the Nativity of Christ (January 7) to Epiphany (January 19);
- during Cheese Week (Maslenitsa);
- during Easter (Light) Week (Easter in 2010 - April 4, Easter Week April 5-11, 2010);
- on the days (and on the eve) of the Beheading of John the Baptist (September 10, 11), and the Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord (September 26, 27).
In special cases, with the blessing of the bishop, an exception can be made for newlyweds. But it is always better to check the specific wedding date in advance in the temple where you plan to hold the ceremony.
Wedding sets
In addition to spiritual preparation, attention should also be paid to the external side. The sacrament will require certain attributes.
Photos of the wedding set
Here's a list of what's included in the wedding package:
- Icons: the Savior and the Mother of God. They are selected in the same style. A wedding pair of icons becomes a family amulet for many years , carefully stored and passed on from parents to children.
- Wedding rings are a symbol of eternal love. They must be given to the priest in advance so that he can consecrate them.
Gold ring, SL (price on link)
- Candles that the newlyweds hold in their hands throughout the ceremony.
- The towel on which the newlyweds stand remains in the church after the ceremony. It should be white and symbolizes a cloud that seems to lift the couple to heaven. After all, marriages take place there.
- The union towel is a symbol of marriage, with which the priest ties the hands of the bride and groom.
- Handkerchiefs used by witnesses to hold the wedding crown over the head of the bride or groom. The crown is a symbol of God's blessing.
Photo of the wedding crown
- Handkerchiefs for candles. The candles are lit throughout the ceremony to prevent wax from dripping onto the bride’s hands and elegant dress; the candle is wrapped in a handkerchief.
- Wine (Cahors). After the Lord's Prayer, the young drink from the same cup. This symbolizes the complete unity of the spouses, their willingness to drink together all the joys and sorrows of life. After this, the priest circles the couple three times around the lectern. The circle is a symbol of eternity.
Wedding towel
Any manufacturer offering wedding accessories takes into account all the wishes of customers. The factory-produced set is high-quality, elegant and includes everything you need. However, given the exceptional importance of the event, which usually happens only once in a lifetime, it is better for the bride herself to make towels and handkerchiefs with her own hands, embroider them, putting her soul and the desire for a happy family life into every stitch. In addition, the ornament embroidered on a towel is not simple; each of its elements carries a certain meaning.
Previously, girls from an early age and before marriage prepared their dowry, sewed, embroidered
Based on the quality of the handicraft, the groom's relatives assessed the skill and talent of the future wife at the bride's show.
DIY dowry
Festive meal after the wedding
Your soul feels warm and joyful after the wedding. The guests and young family continue the celebration at the dinner table. The behavior of the guests and the festive dinner itself should be modest, without excessive libations and dancing. The Lord blesses a quiet and modest feast. “It is not proper for those who go to weddings to jump and dance, but to sup and dine modestly, as befits Christians.” — 53rd rules of the Council of Laodicea.
A couple wishing to get married must be: Orthodox, believer, baptized, wear a cross, registered in marriage.
Before getting married, you need to decide for yourself unambiguously, so that there is no doubt whether you are ready for this. Spouses who want to get married must realize that getting married is a huge responsibility. Unauthorized dissolution of a church marriage and violation of the vow of fidelity is a very great sin.
The spouses must discuss the day and time of the wedding in person in advance with the priest. Have an individual conversation and receive a spiritual blessing.
Wedding candles
Fire in a church is a common thing; thousands of candles burn in the church every day, carrying the prayers, requests and gratitude of believers to heaven. But wedding candles are special. Their fire is a symbol of the love of two people uniting their lives before the Lord. They preserve the power of the prayer that the priest reads during the wedding sacrament. Considering that the ceremony lasts several hours, and the candles in the hands of the newlyweds must burn throughout the ceremony, they must be of the appropriate size and quality. No one wants the candle to go out during the wedding, because this is an unkind sign.
Paraffin or wax wedding candles are made with special care. They are decorated with ornaments, patterns, applied decorative elements and often look like a work of art. Accordingly, their price is higher than that of ordinary candles. You can, of course, use regular ones. In this case, you can figure out how to decorate them yourself so that they look elegant and festive. Making candles with your own hands is a creative process, the result is unique.
Photo of wedding candle
Most couples treat wedding candles like family heirlooms. And although the church does not impose strict requirements on what to do with them after the wedding and when to light them, the candles are taken home and carefully stored behind the icons in the red corner. They are rarely lit when the family is going through difficulties: forced long separation or disagreements. During a divorce, the correct thing to do is take the candles to church and burn them there.
Why is the ceremony called a wedding?
There is a well-known story about 40 martyrs who accepted the Christian faith during the persecution of Christians. For this, the pagans drove them into icy water, in which Christians had to stand until death or renounce their faith. One could not stand it and renounced Christ. One of the torturers was so impressed by the faith of the martyrs that he himself joined the Christians, saying that he, too, would profess the Christian faith. A vision occurred: God placed 40 crowns on the martyrs. All the martyrs died on this day, but did not change their faith. Therefore, a wedding implies that everyone has their own thorny path, there is no smooth married life, and only love helps to endure all the suffering.
How to prepare for a wedding in the Orthodox Church?
It is necessary, first of all, to prepare for the sacrament of wedding spiritually. People walk down the aisle with pure thoughts and an open heart. A line is drawn under the past life, a new family life lies ahead. This is the right time to review your past affairs and mistakes and prevent their repetition in your future life together.
Preparation rules include:
- fasting (fasting);
- prayer;
- confession;
- participle.
When the wedding location has been determined, there will be a conversation with the priest, who will tell you in detail how the ceremony takes place and what needs to be done the day before.
What do they ask at an interview? The main thing that the priest finds out during the conversation is: do the bride and groom understand the meaning of the sacrament? After all, this is not just a beautiful rite, it is the unification of two hearts, two souls, two lives before God. The two become one, forever, forever! The family is often called the small church , and the relationship between husband and wife is compared to the relationship between Jesus Christ and the Church.
An ardent but fleeting feeling of love between newlyweds is not enough to create a strong family; a readiness for self-sacrifice and daily work is required
It is not necessary to get married at the same time as registering your marriage. After living together for several years, checking your feelings and strengthening in the confidence of the right choice, you can sanctify your marriage before God. Preparing for a wedding for married people is no different; spouses should follow the same rules. People often ask, is it necessary to confess before a wedding? This is a mandatory rule and cannot be broken. Confession takes place separately, one on one with the priest. In fact, you are confessing not to the priest, but to the Lord himself.
Witnesses
In pre-revolutionary Russia, Orthodox marriages were necessarily performed with guarantors - popularly they were called druzhka, podrouzhie, or best men. They confirmed with their signatures the act of marriage in the registry book; They, as a rule, knew the bride and groom well and vouched for them. The guarantors took part in the betrothal and wedding, that is, while the bride and groom walked around the lectern, they held the crowns above their heads. Now there may be no guarantors (witnesses) - at the request of those getting married: the church does not apply very strict rules in this regard to weddings.
The guarantors must be Orthodox, preferably church people. The duties of guarantors during a marriage are, in their spiritual basis, the same as those of baptismal custodians: just as guarantors, experienced in spiritual life, are obliged to lead godchildren in the Christian life, so guarantors must spiritually lead a new family.
How much does a church wedding cost?
The wedding ceremony, both in the Orthodox and Catholic churches, is paid. And although some churches have a price list for services, no one has set the exact price. In each individual case, the issue is resolved individually . The cost depends on the pomp of the ceremony. If you want the ceremony to be accompanied by a choir of singers and church bells to ring, then the price will be correspondingly higher. In principle, you can get married for free: for a regular ceremony, some churches do not charge a fee at all, but only voluntary donations, the size of which depends on your capabilities. In 2022, the price of a wedding in Russia ranges from 2,000 to 10,000 rubles and depends on the location of the temple and its significance.
Dress
So, all the little things are taken into account, the newlyweds have nothing to worry about. However, there are still a few mandatory points that should be mentioned, even though they are usually thought about from day one. The first and most important on this short list is the wedding dress. After all, it is the bride’s outfit that is the key element both at the wedding and at the wedding. In addition, it has some restrictions due to which it may differ from the wedding dress.
There are several strict rules regarding style that must be strictly followed when choosing. The color can be almost any. After all, a white dress for a bride is a European tradition. Here white symbolizes purity and purity.
Traditional for the wedding ceremony in an Orthodox Russian wedding is a red sundress. So what should a bride think about when choosing her outfit? Here is a short list of these requirements:
- closed shoulders;
- lack of cleavage;
- closed back;
- arms closed to the elbows (better below);
- The hem should be low to hide your legs.
In an open dress, some of these points can be taken into account with the help of a cape, but it is better if the outfit fully complies with the existing rules. The cost of a wedding dress can vary greatly. Inexpensive outfits can be purchased for 5–10 thousand rubles. If the bride wants to have something exclusive, then the cost will reach 30–50 thousand rubles and even exceed this amount.
How to get debunked
The Church can allow one to be “debunked” only with very compelling arguments. For example, infidelity of one of the spouses, mental illness, inability to cohabitate in marriage, encroachment on the life of the spouse or children, leprosy, syphilis or AIDS, chronic alcoholism or drug addiction, the wife committing an abortion if the husband is against it. Excuses like “they didn’t get along” won’t work here. A written petition is submitted indicating the reason why you decided to get divorced.
They don't get married
Relatives, blood or not, up to the fourth generation, half-brothers and sisters, godfathers cannot be married between themselves and their godchildren if the young people have a very large age difference and are underage (the bishop's permission will be needed). If one of the spouses is of a different faith, a prerequisite for the wedding is the initiation of future children into the Orthodox faith. If one of the spouses is an atheist. A church marriage is not allowed if one of the spouses is married to another person. In this case, the bishop's permission and his blessing are required. The Church does not bless fourth and subsequent marriages.