Despite the fact that today many rituals are becoming a thing of the past, Ossetian youth continue to honor their traditions. Therefore, a wedding in Ossetia remains one of the most exciting events in the life of not only young people, but also their families, friends and neighbors, who are considered relatives. Uzbek weddings are still celebrated on the same grand scale. And although, of course, some Ossetian wedding traditions have undergone changes, in general the celebration is held the same as many years ago. It’s not easy to understand all the nuances of the rituals, so the portal www.svadebka.ws has prepared for you a detailed description of each stage of the wedding.
Matchmaking process
An Ossetian is looking for a mate on his own. When choosing, he takes into account several points. A girl should be modest, a good housewife and sensible, and also be able to embroider and create high-quality handicrafts. Beauty comes last. If a girl is not distinguished by any quality, then even the most beautiful appearance will not help her get married successfully.
Ossetians are prohibited from forming consanguineous marriages. The selection of the bride is carried out carefully. You cannot register a marriage for people with the same surname, as well as for those whose grandmothers came from the same family.
After the chosen one is found, the young man introduces her to her parents. If the family approves of their son's choice, matchmakers are sent to the girl's house.
Choosing matchmakers is a rather sensitive issue. They can be people who have such qualities as sociability and intelligence. They must understand traditions and have a good sense of humor. Matchmakers need to convince the girl’s parents that her chosen one is worthy of her and better than others in everything.
Friends and close relatives of the groom's family become matchmakers. They are considered welcome guests in the house. But no one will give them the answer the first time. Consent to marriage is given only after the second or third meeting.
After this, the parents discuss the size of the bride price. As soon as the family receives the agreed amount, a date is set for the celebration. The decision is considered final only after the bride price has been handed over. If the monetary reward was not given on time, then the guy’s intentions are considered frivolous. This moment will become the reason for breaking off the relationship, because the groom broke his word.
It is believed that following all the traditions completely changes a girl’s life. Once she has received the status of a bride, she is prohibited from attending any entertainment events.
“The wedding is making a lot of noise, and the bride is silently standing in the corner” Valeria, 27 years old, married off her sister
My sister’s wedding was more or less modern, but, of course, not without traditions. That is, the bride had a wedding separately, and then the groom’s side came for her and took her to their wedding. She came to him in Ossetian attire, where they took off her veil and put her in a corner. Our bride has to spend the entire wedding standing, so my sister stood. The fun is on, the wedding is noisy with all its might, and the bride stands silently in the corner.
At some point, they approached her with gifts; it’s customary for us to give a lot of jewelry - gold, diamonds... Close friends and relatives begin to put all this on her. They hang a chain, and everyone strings their gift on it: rings, earrings, lots and lots of jewelry, something they put directly on their ears, on their fingers. At the same time, everyone tells her some instructions and wishes.
The bride treats her relatives with honey
Screenshot: video Alan Gagoev / YouTube
Then the bride treats the female part of her husband’s family with honey. She took the pot and started feeding everyone with one spoon. This symbolizes that they are now a single family that will eat with the same spoon all their lives. According to tradition, during a wedding, some guy or boy may steal this pot unnoticed and ask for a ransom for it. My sister’s pot was also stolen, and it had to be bought back for a huge sum, which the thief asked for. Therefore, everyone tries to steal the pot - it will have to be returned at any cost, for any money.
So, the bride stood in the corner throughout the wedding. But at the end of the evening, she still took off her Ossetian outfit and changed into a European dress. The performances and fun began, a slow dance, a dance between the daughter and her father. They cut the cake and showed a video about their relationship - a love story. But with the European part, the main thing is not to go too far.
At the end, when all the elders leave and no one pays attention to the young, the bride, as a rule, can also have fun - but in moderation
Dancing guests at an Ossetian wedding
Screenshot: video Alan Kokaev / YouTube
She had a lot of experiences, like all the girls at Ossetian weddings. She had a very heavy traditional outfit, it had a bulky structure built into it, and there was a lot of fabric. You stand in all this during the wedding - and it’s very difficult for you both physically and mentally. Many people are nervous and have a hard time bearing it. It was also difficult for my sister, because she is very energetic, and the suit is uncomfortable. I was also worried because there were a lot of elders, and the bride had to be very modest. My sister constantly pulled herself together and asked if she was behaving modestly enough, if she was not doing too much.
A little about the secret visit
Ossetian wedding traditions are diverse.
One of the rituals is a secret visit to the groom’s girlfriend’s house with friends. The elder, who is already married, and the younger best man must be present. After a secret visit, these people become the bride's brothers. They agree that they will protect the girl all her life. During the visit, the beloved's relatives are in the next room. Once they have made a few toasts, the future spouse will enter the room with their groomsmen. Women serve men. They must pour full glasses of wine. And after the men empty them, they invest money there.
On the day of the secret visit, the son-in-law presents the mother-in-law with sweets, and gives the future wife a wedding dress and engagement ring.
“I held myself together so as not to fall” Madina, 23 years old, bride
The most difficult thing for me that day was changing into Ossetian national dress. It was heavy, incredibly heavy, about 10-15 kilograms (if not more). And I’m thin, because of this my back hurt a lot, all my ribs hurt, because the belt on the dress was putting a lot of pressure on me. I could barely stand, I could barely hold myself together so as not to fall. The hat gave me a severe headache. Also the hairstyle, those hairpins in my head... When I remember, tears well up in my eyes. It was probably worth it. The dress was rich and beautiful.
At first it was difficult to find contact with my husband’s relatives. Someone else's house, someone else's family. They have their own laws, their own rules. In Ossetian families, the daughter-in-law cannot talk to her father-in-law, she cannot be in the same room with him, so it was very difficult for me. When he arrives from work somewhere around seven, you suddenly get up and go into the room. And you don’t show up until your father-in-law goes to bed. I get up before him so I can do my chores, make him coffee and hide in my room again. You can’t talk loudly in someone else’s house, you’re a daughter-in-law, after all!
Traditional headdress of an Ossetian bride
Screenshot: video Alan Gagoev / YouTube
For a week after the wedding, guests came every day. But I didn’t have a chance to communicate with them much, since my father-in-law was almost always at home. I wore a white headscarf all this week, but then they had a big feast with all the relatives, and my father-in-law was there. They took off my headscarf, he called me over, told me to start talking to him, and gave me earrings. From then on, I could go out when he was at home, I could sit at the same table with him. It's easier now. They accepted me like a daughter and treated me very carefully. And I am very grateful that they helped me while I was getting used to it, because, for example, I asked: “Do you like it with or without pepper?” And they answered me normally.
Arrival for the betrothed
A few years ago, a wedding in Ossetia was celebrated in the groom’s house. Many guests were invited to the event. The festive table was placed in the courtyard. In modern times, young people prefer to celebrate their wedding in a restaurant.
An Ossetian wedding is conventionally divided into two types: the celebration of the bride and groom. In the morning, the future spouse's relatives, neighbors and friends come to his house. The eldest of the best men decides who will go in the cortege to pick up the bride, and also gives several instructions. It is mandatory for the girl's parents, senior and junior groomsmen to follow her. The retinue gives the groom's chosen one pies, cakes, sweets and alcoholic drinks.
They are greeted at the doorstep with glasses of wine. The guests wish the bride and groom well, happiness and long love. Then everyone goes into the house. The bride occupies a prominent and honorable place. But after a few minutes she is taken to an adjacent room, where she can change into a wedding dress.
“Rings and bracelets, skirts and jackets...” (C)
Investment gold in Turkey is sold in the form of gold coins of a certain weight and is called “republican gold” (“cumhuriyet altını” or “cumhuriyet altını”).
It is sold in any jewelry store and can be sold back there without questions, according to current prices per gram of precious metal.
It is “republican gold” and gold bracelets that are a mandatory gift at a Turkish wedding. The bracelets are put on the bride’s hands, and the coins are put into a purse to turn the “unfortunate” girl into a cash collector by the end of the evening.
The only thing that should console her is that the gold is hers, and not the groom’s “reserve fund” or “national welfare fund.”
Bargaining for the bride
Bargaining is usually understood as a cheerful argument during which the relatives of the bride and groom do not want to give in to each other. Often bridesmaids hide the newlywed, demanding a ransom for her. In the end, the groom's relatives manage to come to an agreement with everyone. The senior best man leads the bride out to the sounds of an accordion. Then they put her in the car and take her to the groom.
As soon as the car drives up to the house, the bride is greeted by people who want to wish her happiness in her family life. In order for a girl to give birth to a boy first, she is given the opportunity to hold a male baby. The bride crosses the threshold of her future home with her right foot.
SPA treatments
These include the bride and her bridesmaids going together to a Turkish bath - hamam, where they not only steam, wash and exfoliate, but also have fun in all the ways available to the fair sex.
And of course, a joint trip to the hairdresser on the wedding day. And here the groom will pay for everything - for the bride, mother-in-law and all the girlfriends. Haircuts, styling, manicures and pedicures - everything your heart desires for the entire female team.
They shave him solemnly and with special care.
All this solemn action, naturally, is recorded on photo and video cameras to become an important part of the wedding album.
Veil removal process
One of the important stages is removing the veil from the bride. It is carried out by a young man who is a friend or relative of the groom. Using a special flag, he performs the ritual. The guy moves it over the newlywed's head three times.
During the ceremony, he must wish happiness, prosperity, the birth of sons and one daughter. Then he lifts the veil. All invited guests must see the bride's face.
Another ritual is also performed. The idea is that the bride should treat her mother-in-law with a mixture of ghee and honey. Then the boys steal the jar with its contents. So they want to get ransom.
How is an Ossetian wedding celebrated?
An Ossetian wedding is distinguished by its splendor. The number of invitees exceeds 100 people. Everyone is having fun and giving gifts to the newlyweds. The parents of the bride and groom present jewelry. The rest give money.
During the wedding celebration, the newlywed is in a specially designated place. Only after a few hours she is taken to a special room and allowed to sit down. Guests can drop by to wish her all the best and mutual understanding with new relatives.
The girl must stand silently. Only occasionally does her father-in-law allow her to talk after she takes off her headscarf. In the evening, the future spouse goes to his father-in-law's house. There the mother-in-law is preparing scrambled eggs for her son-in-law. Then there is a feast and dancing.
Newlyweds, based on tradition, should not return to their home on the second day. They can only come home on the third day. But usually this rule is not followed, and the spouses return before the allotted time.
Over time, the traditions of the Ossetian wedding have undergone changes, but still remain original. Young people remember them and follow them strictly.
“Well, what is it - I went and stole a girl who doesn’t love me?”
Tamerlan, 25 years old, groom
You send her to the shopping center, then you go there with your guys, taking a burka with you. Someone distracts her, and at this time you or your friend run up to her from behind, throw on a burka and take her away.
Now they are stealing by agreement. No one will dare to steal a bride with whom he has not even communicated. Well, what is it - I went and stole a girl who doesn’t love me? They'll take her away right away. But this didn’t happen before—they all stayed. It was a shame to leave.
When they stole someone’s sister, then on this basis they almost fought over last names - how dare they? Previously, when Ossetians lived in the mountains, it was like this: if you liked a girl, what kind of dates? He just took it and stole it! And love came over time, probably.
Outfit of the Ossetian bride and groom
The dress of the future wife is distinguished by its uniqueness and beauty. She looks great in it. This gives the image majesty, status and sophistication.
There are several features of the outfits.
- Ossetian outfits include several elements. It consists of a shirt, corset, swing dress, caftan, cap and veil. The caftan occupies a special place. It is made from expensive fabrics - silk, satin or velvet. Decorations made of gold thread are required.
- The Ossetian outfit is decorated with a bib, which has clasps. They do not perform any function and are used only as a component.
- The cut of the swing dress is characterized by severity. It should hide the heels, arms, chest and shoulder areas. But at the same time the dress fits the figure beautifully. To highlight the waist, wear a belt.
- The bride's head is covered with a cap and veil. In this way she protects herself from evil glances.
- Brides often wear light-colored dresses that are decorated with various ornaments.
If we talk about the groom’s image, he puts on a formal suit. It is no different from a Russian suit and consists of a light shirt, tie or bow tie, jacket and trousers in dark shades.
An Ossetian wedding is luxurious, expensive and unusual. Its traditions will not leave anyone indifferent. Young people still honor and respect them, thereby protecting their families from sadness, adversity and the influence of evil spirits.
