In Rus' there were special traditions and customs regarding the first wedding night. In India and Africa, a man who was the head of a clan or an important feudal lord often had to take his virginity. In Rus', this was categorically forbidden.
Nevertheless, the leading role was assigned to the husband, who could only enter into sexual intimacy with his wife. All kinds of infidelity and sex with a married woman or man were considered by the people to be a terrible sin.
The night after the wedding in Rus'
Since ancient times, the time that passed after a noisy feast has been called the first wedding night. It implied not simple sexual intimacy, but the union of two people. Only the husband could exercise the right of first sexual intimacy. It was he who was considered the head of the family.
And for this he did not have to win his woman in battle, as was done in African countries. The man was initially considered the master and the so-called ruler.
Women were innocent and virginal before marriage. Subsequently, the man did not confirm this when he hung out the sheet in the morning. However, he could tell the entire village that the girl was not chaste and refuse her. In this case, the young lady suffered a real vice, which was punished not only by people, but also by church canons.
Himba tribe
One of the African tribes living in Namibia very carefully puts beauty on the bride’s head on the wedding night. The hair is generously lubricated with animal fat, and a complexly designed, bulky and, at first glance, uncomfortable headdress is put on top. It is worth assuming that considerable skill is required from the groom to get rid of such decoration, and if he fails to do this, then he will not have a full-fledged wedding night.
Time spending
Russian wedding night.
For the Russian people, the timing of the marriage ceremony is important. It is based not only on the wedding itself, but also on the possibility of sexual intimacy. It is believed that it is unacceptable to have sex during Lent and other forbidden church days.
That is why the wedding had to be scheduled together with a church minister, who would definitely authorize this event. Very often, men guessed a woman’s cycle, because they didn’t want to just sleep on the first night. After all, a girl with menstruation is still considered sinful in church rules, so intimacy with her is impossible.
This is interesting: How is the first wedding night of Muslims?
Berbers
We are accustomed to the fact that intimacy is a purely individual matter, especially if it is the sacrament of the wedding night. And representatives of the African Berber tribe are sure that such an important act should be performed in front of witnesses. And even better - in a collective format. What if the young people don’t know what to do with each other? Advice will help here, and, most importantly, visual tips from older comrades. Therefore, on the wedding night, not only the bride and groom, but also several married couples with extensive experience indulge in intimacy in the same room.
Ritual of preparation for the wedding night
Not only the newlyweds, but also their closest relatives prepared for their wedding night. The event took place in the groom's house, because it was there that the bride moved immediately after the wedding. In another way, the first closeness was called the basement, since it was located in the coolest place of the house. It was believed that it was in the cool that newlyweds had a better chance of getting closer and snuggling with each other.
The bed for the first night was necessarily made by the groom's mother or sister. This had to be done with items from the bride's dowry. At the same time, the bride was not allowed into the room until the first intimacy took place.
Unchangeable attributes were also placed on the bed. They were symbols of nobility, material well-being, health and family happiness. They were placed in the corners of the room so that they would not be conspicuous to the young married couple.
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Old Russian wedding traditions
In order for the newlyweds to be able to fulfill their marital duties for the first time, it was necessary to arrange a “hay room” for them in a secluded room. Its decoration embodied the symbolism of Christianity and folk superstitions.
In the center of the bedchamber there was a four-poster bed. Sheaves of rye were placed on the love bed, which were symbols of fertility and prosperity and foreshadowed an easy course of childbirth.
A carpet was laid over them, several feather beds were placed on it, and they were covered with a silk sheet. At the head of the bed there were images of Christian saints. The pillows were covered with blankets made of martens or sables.
At first, the sacrament of first intimacy among the Russian autocrats was not much different from the rituals accepted among the people, although the scale and pomp of the event were of particular importance here.
Seeing off the newlyweds
Wedding night in Rus'.
The farewell to the bed took place with noise and dancing. It was believed that in this way all evil spirits were driven out, because they would not dare to come when there were so many cheerful and loud people.
Therefore, as soon as the procession departed from the bride’s house to the groom’s, everyone sang songs loudly and danced. Men often told obscene jokes, thereby setting the mood in the right mood.
As soon as all the people approached the house, only the groom’s close friend and the sister who made the bed could enter the room. The friend used a rod to knock out all the evil spirits and evil spirits from the bed. After which he had to pay money to the groom's sister for making the bed.
Bride's choice
Nowadays, a guy and a girl choose each other, get to know each other, date, and start families. In Rus' many years ago this was not accepted. Their parents decided everything for the future newlyweds. So, the father selected a bride for his son. In this case, preference was given to fat and tall maidens - “prominent”, as they said then. Thin girls had to put on ten skirts to simulate fullness, but short girls couldn’t invent anything.
By the way, unlike the bride, no one looked at the appearance of the groom. They looked at something else - how wealthy and/or influential his parents were.
Alone
After seeing off for the night, the noisy procession did not leave the house; it always remained near the hut. Often men would peek into the room, trying to understand what was happening. The groom's closest friend remained behind the door. From time to time he eavesdropped on what was going on behind the door, which he loudly informed everyone about.
The newlyweds initially sat down at the laid table. It was obligatory to include bread and chicken. The future spouses had to eat a little. This was necessary so that the spirits would attract good luck and family well-being to them.
After this, the man lay down on the bed, and the woman took off his shoes. Thus, the girl showed her humility and submission to her husband, the head of the family. The wife always asked her husband what mood he was in and whether she could go to bed with him. If the man agreed, then sexual intimacy began. As a rule, several acts had to take place.
This is interesting: How is the wedding night in India?
A close friend of the groom overheard everything that was happening behind the door; he reported that the bride had lost her virginity. As soon as this happened, the sex ended, the young people had to go out to the guests. The celebration continued with the married couple. Further, it was believed that they were a full-fledged family. At the same time, the feast could continue both in the house of the groom and the bride.
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Go to the bathhouse
The author of the book “Traditions of Russian Folk Wedding” Alla Leonidovna Sokolova devoted a separate chapter to bath rituals that were arranged for the bride on the eve of the wedding. All of them were intended to help the beauty make a symbolic transition from girlhood to married life. Traditional wedding rituals in Rus' had many similarities with funeral rites; it is no coincidence that the bride had to literally mourn her past carefree life in her parental family. And in the bathhouse, which was prepared by the newlywed’s closest friends and relatives, she seemed to be cleansed of the past. In many ways it was reminiscent of the ritual of washing the dead. “When everything was ready, the girls approached the bride sitting in the hut and invited her to go to the bathhouse “across the bridges and along the Kalinov bridges with gossips and girlfriends.” Let me remind you that Kalinov Bridge is a red-hot bridge across the Smorodina River in fairy tales and epics, the last frontier before the world of the dead,” wrote A. L. Sokolova. Usually the bridesmaids hovered the bride with a birch broom. Sometimes branches of fruit trees and berry bushes were added to it. It was believed that in this way it was possible to increase the fertility of the future wife and enhance her childbearing ability. Often after the bath, the bride was accompanied home by relatives, whose duties included making loud noise to scare away evil spirits from the red maiden. Sometimes a woman walked ahead of the procession, symbolically clearing the road with a broom. The bride's parents usually invited a village healer or witch. This woman collected the red maiden's sweat that formed in the steam room. On the wedding day, the healer could quietly add a few drops of his betrothed's sweat to the groom's drink after reading a special spell. Residents of Rus' believed that such wedding magic would help arouse mutual romantic feelings and first love in the newlyweds. Before the wedding, the groom also went to the bathhouse, accompanied by his groomsmen and older relatives.
Innocence as the main attribute
The virginity and chastity of the bride was considered important in the life of a young married couple. If a girl was not chaste, then shame would be brought upon her and her family. A man, at his own discretion, could return his chosen one back to her father’s house.
The chastity of the groom’s words was also confirmed by the bloody shirt. However, not in all cases the man agreed to show everyone the blood on his wife’s shirt. Therefore, he could confirm this fact only in words.
After a man and a woman had sexual intercourse, they were considered young and young. The day after the wedding, the woman was dressed in the outfit of a married lady, and the appropriate headdress was placed on her head. It was believed that this is what promises the family well-being and family happiness. Therefore, none of their young people neglected this ritual.
Kiss the groom
The next stage of a traditional Russian wedding, designed to ignite passion in a girl, preparing her for bed pleasures with her young husband, was a festive feast. The guests actively contributed to the sexual emancipation of the young beauty, often shouting: “Bitter! Bitterly!" Doctor of Philological Sciences, Yuri Vladimirovich Otkupshchikov, in his book “To the Origins of the Word. Stories about the science of etymology" wrote about the origin of this wedding exclamation. Contrary to many folk legends, the word “gorko” is etymologically related to the Old Russian verb “goriti” (to burn). That is, with their shouts, the guests call the newlyweds for hot, heated kisses, and do not at all ask them to “sweeten” their food. Usually one of the guests, after drinking a glass of vodka and eating a pickled cucumber, loudly complains that the treat tastes bitter. Other participants in the wedding feast immediately understand the hint and begin to chant in unison: “Bitter! Bitterly!" This practically makes the newlyweds forget about their natural shyness and serves as a public prelude to future bed pleasures. Since the newlyweds had a responsible and important event ahead of them, they were usually not served alcohol at their own wedding.
Wedding night among Russians nowadays
Wedding night in Ancient Rus'.
Currently, there are no strict rules regarding the first wedding night. Absolutely every family is free to spend it in its own way. There are almost no couples left who get married as virgins. Most married people live together even before marriage, being in sexual intimacy.
Despite this, newlyweds try to especially celebrate and celebrate their wedding night.
That is why they often rent hotel rooms, go to warm countries, or arrange surprises for each other in the form of role-playing games.
This is interesting: What are the customs of the first wedding night among different nations?
This is a night that should be remembered for a long time. Therefore, even when two people live together for a long time, they must try and organize the night so that there is something to remember. After all, this particular night is shrouded in special romance, mystery and love.
Zulu tribe
These people have a strict requirement for the bride to remain virgin until marriage. But how she vomited herself is tested on her wedding night in a very original way. After the wedding feast, dance competitions are held between the families of the bride and groom. In the finale, the newly-made wife must raise her leg high, and the husband’s mother must look under her skirt and declare whether she is a young virgin or not.
Bottom line
In Rus', perhaps, there were some of the most democratic rules for the first wedding night. It was believed that spouses should not have sex in different positions after marriage. Their only position could be missionary, where they lie facing each other. All other positions were considered unspiritual, and anal sex was especially punished by the church.
Therefore, subsequently the sexual life of the newlyweds was quite monotonous and typical, so as not to anger God and the church canons. Despite this, the Russians had their first night, and it required obligatory physical intimacy with confirmation of the bride’s chastity. Only the husband could have sexual intercourse. All other people were not allowed to see the young girl.
Shona tribe
Wedding night before the wedding - such a strange custom exists in the small African Shona tribe. Moreover, when it will be, the bride decides, and for the groom it becomes a surprise. The girl is obliged to make a choice after the engagement and before the official marriage ceremony. In this way, the future wife tests her chosen one - how resourceful and sharp-witted he is, how well he can cope with unexpected problems. But after the pre-wedding night, the wedding takes place the next morning.
