Family hearth and other rituals: Bride.info: 9 comments

This beautiful tradition, when the home fire is lit for a wedding, came to us quite a long time ago. Of course, it has undergone a number of changes, but the sacred meaning remains the same. After all, for our ancestors, the hearth occupied a central place in the house; the whole family warmed themselves and whiled away the evenings by the fire. And now, lighting a family hearth at a wedding, seems to emphasize the connection between generations.

The symbolic meaning of the ritual of handing over a home to a young family is the transfer of wisdom and experience from their parents, and especially from mothers, because women have always been the guardians of family happiness.

Required Attributes

To perform this ritual you will not need much:

Candle for newlyweds. It should stand out from the rest, be larger and beautifully decorated. You can purchase a ready-made candle at a wedding salon or decorate it yourself. You can also use an aroma lamp in the shape of a house as a family hearth; it will fit perfectly and in the future can take the main place on a shelf in the home of a young family.
Two candles for parents. They should be long to make it easier to light the main hearth. They can also be decorated with your own hands in the same style as the main candle.

A few photo ideas.

Matches, lighter or torch. The latter will look the most impressive and besides, the likelihood that the torch will go out is minimal.
Candles for guests. You can choose any, even thin church candles will do, thereby symbolizing the purity of marriage.
Stand or candlestick for the hearth.
And of course, beautiful musical accompaniment.

A few recommendations

It is advisable to hold the ceremony of lighting the family hearth at the beginning of the wedding banquet. It is at this moment, when the guests’ attention has not yet wandered, that the ritual will be most impressive for everyone. The wedding scenario always includes many important rites and rituals, so it is recommended that the most significant ones be carried out at the very beginning of the banquet.

If you decide to carry out the ritual of lighting the family hearth at the end of the wedding celebration, you can involve all the guests in this action. To do this, each person present is given a small thin candle. Guests surround the newlyweds and pass the fire to each other, accompanying this action with kind words and wishes addressed to the newlyweds. This continues until the fire reaches the newlyweds’ candle.

Interesting!

Home storage

If guests took part in the ceremony and lit their candles from the newlyweds’ family hearth, then according to popular belief they should not throw away their candles. It is necessary to preserve it, because it is capable of fulfilling any cherished wish, but even if the wish does not come true, the candle will be a pleasant reminder of a beautiful event in the life of two loving hearts. It can be lit on the wedding anniversary of the newlyweds.

Newlyweds must preserve their beautifully decorated family home, as a guarantee of their mutual understanding. They will be able to light it not only for their wedding anniversary, but also for family celebrations, memorable dates and children's birthdays.

If you are planning to carry out such a beautiful ceremony at a wedding, discuss with the photographer the possible nuances, because he will take photos in the twilight, he will need to have time to make the necessary settings for high-quality and not blurred photographs.

Interesting video: example of implementation

You can watch a video about lighting a family fire at a wedding, and find ideas for holding your own wedding ceremony in it.

The video will help you choose the words of the presenter to light up the family hearth at the wedding, write texts that the ritual participants will speak, and borrow ideas for decorating the banquet. You will make your wedding truly impressive and unforgettable.

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The beauty and symbolism of the family hearth at a wedding

During its existence, such an ancient rite as a wedding has acquired many different interesting customs and traditions carried out during the celebration. Unfortunately, not all weddings are held in compliance with ancient traditions, which is often due to ignorance of them. But there are rituals that newlyweds remember and continue to practice. Such traditions include bride ransom, throwing the bride's bouquet and many others. No less famous is the ritual of the family hearth.

This ancient custom is considered an alternative to the most popular sand ceremony abroad, when two loving people leave their lonely lives behind and reunite, becoming one. The symbol of this tradition is an ordinary candle, which means that no special expenses are required to carry out the ceremony of the family hearth.

Handover ceremony script

Each host has his own individually created ceremonial plot of the holiday. Often newlyweds and their parents make the following adjustments:

turn on music;
the guests have candles;
the lights in the hall are turned off;
a heart of rose petals is laid out on the floor;
set up a table;
the leader announces the ritual, telling a legend, a myth;
newlyweds with a single candle, holding hands, go to the table;
parents approach the newlyweds and light candles;
the new hearth is lit at the same time.

Before the ceremony, the words of the mother of the groom or bride are heard.

Quote from the message
Lighting the “Family Hearth” candles

The tradition of passing on the family hearth at a wedding

The most touching and exciting moment of the wedding ceremony is the transfer of the family hearth. Moreover, not only the newlyweds, but also their parents, as well as all those invited to the celebration, take part in this amazing tradition, for which candles are initially given to the guests. The ceremony begins with the parents of the young people, who, with their lit candles, light one large one, transferring their flame to it. At the moment of this enchanting action, taking place in semi-darkness, parting words and congratulations are addressed to the newlyweds, and the toastmaster can tell a touching story about eternal love.

According to tradition, the female half of the family, namely the mother of the bride and groom, carries the candles. This is not surprising, because at all times it was the woman who was considered the keeper of the hearth, protecting it and keeping it warm. Fathers, in turn, must light candles, thereby symbolizing a man’s responsibility for creating and preserving a family. If the bride or groom has an incomplete family, then the order can be slightly changed, which does not in any way affect the beauty and message of this tradition. The bride should hold the newlyweds' candle, because from now on she will become the keeper of the family hearth. But in some cases, the candle of the newlyweds is placed on a separate table.

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There is no specific time for conducting the family hearth ceremony. Since the ceremony itself does not take much time, it can be performed both at the beginning of the celebration and at the end of it, when it gets dark outside and by turning off the lights in the banquet hall, you can create twilight, thereby giving the effect of mystery.

Candles during the ceremony

According to ancient tradition, the mothers of both newlyweds light the candles. When lighting, parting words are spoken, however, there are other methods of conducting the ceremony. Other methods are expressed in the following ways:

fathers light candles;
parents hold - the leader sets fire;
the groom's parents hold it, indicating that they are calling the bride into the house;
indicating that the wife is guarding the hearth, the bride’s parents hold the candle;
the fireplace is lit by grandparents;
If the family of one of the newlyweds is not complete, then the fireplace will be lit by a relative or close friend of the new married couple.

The interpretation of the ceremony exists in the image of the union of the souls of the young. Moreover, the interpretation claims that it is not the hearths of families that are transmitted, but only the union of hearts. The bride holds the hearth of the family - she is the keeper; the newlyweds can hold together, but only if they hold hands. The candles are lit on the newlyweds' table or on a specially installed table.

Candles suitable for wedding ceremonies

Candles are a symbol of home at a wedding celebration. They can be purchased at any bridal salon, or bought in a store. They can be either initially beautifully decorated or decorated independently, for which various wedding symbols, rings, flowers and doves are perfect. The chameleon candle looks great, changing its color after lighting and playing with different shades. It will look great in the dark and will give the sacrament some solemnity and attractiveness.

As has already become clear, absolutely any candles are suitable for the ceremony of the family hearth. But, despite this, there are some requirements for this symbol of family life that must be adhered to:

the candle of the young should be different from everyone else and even from the attribute of the parents. It is best for it to be the most beautiful, the largest and attract attention with its design. As for the shape, it can be absolutely any, since the wide selection of wedding attributes offered allows you to take into account all the preferences of the newlyweds;
if the newlyweds plan to take a photo with a candle after the end of the ceremony, then it is best to take care of this in advance and purchase a beautiful candlestick or stand;
For parents, it is worth choosing thin, long candles that will be an excellent addition to the main candle of the newlyweds and will be easy to light other candles with. But it is best for parents to avoid shaped candles, since they will not be very easy to set fire to the main candle;
It is best to refuse to decorate a candle in wedding salons, but to decorate it yourself, thereby transferring to it a piece of the warmth of the members of the future young family;
It will be very beautiful and symbolic if the parents have a candle left from their wedding and they use it to light the newlyweds’ candle. Young people should also preserve their family hearth in order to use it at the wedding of their children.

There are cases when, instead of candles, aroma lamps of the original type are used for the ceremony of handing over the family hearth. These can be lamps in the shape of hearts, houses, fireplaces, and so on.

Not the least place in this ceremony is given to the toastmaster, who must explain during the ritual where this tradition came from and how important it is for the new family. But if you wish, you can abandon words and emphasize the festivity of the ceremony with beautiful music.

Often, during the ceremony, the toastmaster tells beautiful parables about love. One of them, for example, talks about how one day happiness decided to leave the house, but before leaving it decided to give each family member what he wanted. The wife needed a fur coat, the daughter needed a wealthy groom, and the son needed a car. And only the father wanted the family hearth to always burn in their house. After these words, happiness fulfilled all the wishes and decided to stay, because where the hearth burns, happiness should live.

How to decorate candles with your own hands?

Since the hearth is represented by candles, it becomes clear that they are the central place in the ceremony itself. It is especially important to beautifully decorate the candle of young spouses. It becomes the main focus of the entire ceremony. Parental foci are no less significant.

As a rule, they buy thin candles, which themselves are not very bright and noticeable. In order for the product to look bright and festive, it is worth thinking in advance about how it can be decorated.

There are several ways: both simple and more complex.

ribbons;
lace;
rhinestones;
beads;
flowers.

What will you need?

Think about which method is closest to you.

From this alone, you will have to build on the materials you choose.

Candle – 3 pieces.
Candlestick – 3 pieces.
Satin tape.
Fresh flowers.

Step by step guide

Follow the simple instructions, then you will be able to decorate your family hearth.

Place the candles in a candle holder and carefully remove any remaining paraffin.
Wipe the candlesticks dry so that no dirt remains on them.
Wrap each piece with a thick satin ribbon. At the same time, try to do it so that they all turn out to be approximately at the same level.
Attach fresh flowers to the center, securing them with a needle.

Choose a satin ribbon based on the overall color scheme of the celebration. As for the flowers, they should be in harmony with the bride’s bouquet and the groom’s boutonniere. In addition, pay attention to their durability.

Since the ceremony will take place almost at the end of the event, your flowers should stand without water and retain their original appearance. The family hearth is a symbolic rite, so it would be extremely awkward if there were dried flowers or a crooked ribbon on it.

To ignite the hearth of your love, you will need the help of your parents. Ask them to prepare warm words or parting words for the young spouses in advance.

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Preserving the family hearth after the wedding

Guests who initially received a candle can also take part in the ceremony. After the ceremony, they can all stand in a circle and the bride, going around everyone in turn, will light their candles, sharing her warmth and opening her heart and her home to loved ones. In this case, it is very important that the young candle is convenient for lighting other candles. In such a beautiful circle of guests, the newlyweds can dance their first dance. And it’s even better if guests, with candles in their hands, try to form a heart, which will be not only beautiful, but also symbolic.

There is a belief that a candle lit from the family hearth can make your deepest wish come true. That is why guests should not throw away the candles, but rather leave them as a memory of this bright and solemn day when another young family appeared. In addition, this candle can be lit every year on your wedding anniversary.

A young family keeps a candle as a guarantee of mutual understanding. It is kept until the next generation finds its soul mate and finds happiness. This symbol of a happy family should be lit not only on a wedding anniversary, but also when children are born and on any memorable dates for the family.

The family hearth is not only symbolic, but also an incredibly beautiful tradition that can become a real decoration for wedding photographs. The main thing is that the photographer is warned in advance and can prepare for shooting in a dimly lit room so that the pictures turn out to be of high quality and not washed away.

If you have the opportunity to carry out the custom of a family hearth, then under no circumstances refuse it. This event will become one of the most memorable in your family life, and you will carry the memory of it throughout your life, remembering and telling it to your children and grandchildren.

What candles should you choose?

For young people, the candle, symbolizing the family hearth, should be the largest and most beautiful. It can be brightly decorated using the colors of wedding dresses and accessories, choose a beautiful backing, and even emboss the names of the newlyweds on it. The ritual will be very unusual and mysterious if you buy a Chameleon candle and light it at dusk.

Advice

Parents' candles should be thinner and smaller so as not to distract attention to themselves. To ensure that the candle lights up at the right time and does not misfire, you can release the wick before the ceremony and light it for a moment. This will avoid an incident and not disrupt the ceremony.

What does the presenter say?

The presenter's speech consists of three main blocks :

explanation of the essence of the ceremony . A short story with an emphasis on solemnity or romance. A short parable or verse would be appropriate;
inviting participants, guiding their actions and commenting . To soften the excitement of the newlyweds and their parents, to smooth out possible awkwardness or unpleasant surprises (a candle that went out at the wrong time or was dropped), it is worth introducing humorous notes;
conclusion . Summing up the completed ceremony, the leader emphasizes the unity of the new family and the strengthening of ties between spouses and their relatives.

Neutral speech

Let's look at a few examples of neutral texts , which, unlike touching options, may not contain emotional intensity. But such restrained speeches also have a place to be heard at a celebration (this is discussed individually with the young people in the process of drawing up the script).

“Dear mothers, through time and years you have carried the flame of the hearth to this important moment for your children. Now, by combining the flames of the candles, you will light the fire of a new, young family.” (The host invites the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom to simultaneously light the candle held by the newlyweds.) “Dear guests, before your eyes the family hearth of our newlyweds was born. Let's congratulate them on this important event. Young people can hug and thank their parents from the bottom of their hearts for the care, affection, kindness and love that their parents have given them all these years. As for the young family, I want to remind you that the candle you hold in your hands should be lit every year on your wedding day. And the flame of this candle will warm your hearts and remind you of the day you created your family, of your parents, of the words of love that you spoke to each other today.”

“Now, mothers will light a candle for the young from their candles. The flame of a new candle is the flame of a newly formed family. The flame is still very young, not yet strong. Dear newlyweds, it is only in your power to preserve this fire, to ignite it stronger, so that no wind or adversity can extinguish it. The flame of your hearth will be supported by strong love, mutual respect, and your family traditions. Take care and maintain this sacred warmth. Carry it through the years and give it to your children. We congratulate you with all our hearts and wish you unlimited happiness. Dear guests, let’s give smiles, applause and hugs to our young people!”

Another example of text, but in poetic form:

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Touching text

It is extremely important, when delivering such speeches, to create a special atmosphere. Try to maintain a calm and measured pace of speech , choose a calm background music and tune the audience to perceive information.

“Dear mothers, look at this beautiful couple! Look at your children. You probably can’t even believe that they have become so mature and independent. But you remember very well the moment when you first found out that you were going to become a mother. YOU remember very well the moment when you first saw your children, very tiny, small and carefree. But even then, looking at you, your children knew that everything would be fine. Because my mother was nearby. Because there are mother’s gentle hands and her eyes, which will always look at them with love and kindness. It was with your help that they took their first steps. The first word they uttered was probably “Mom.” The years flew by, your children grew up - kindergarten, school, then college. And now, they are building their family and will soon raise their children. The candles in your hands are a symbol of your family hearth, your tenderness, kindness, care and love that you have saved up for many years to pass on to your children today, on this day. Dear mothers, please come to your children and pass on the fire of the family hearth to them. And you are young, always remember what your parents did for you. These are the people who will always love you. Therefore, try to show them attention and care every day. Call and visit them often. Repeat often how grateful you are to them and how much you love them. Dear guests, let’s give the young mothers our applause!”

You can use verses as a guide

How should a touching speech sound during a ceremony :

With humor

The mood of the guests and the style of the wedding as a whole are important here. If the whole event is held in a romantic vein, then a speech with humor will sound inappropriate . Discuss all these details with the newlyweds in advance.

Below is an example of a speech with a bit of humor:

In parable format

Also, there are several parables about family, love, happiness and home , which can be used as a preface before the ceremony:

Version of the parable “about the family hearth” in poetic format . Author: Elena Turbaleva (source)

What do parents say?

Instructions or congratulations from parents in the ceremony of handing over the family hearth are not required ; sometimes the lighting of candles occurs accompanied by the words of only the leader or simply accompanied by music. If the parents (mothers) of the bride and groom wish to contribute to the ceremony, time is allocated in advance for parting words or congratulations.

When parents (mothers) address the newlyweds, they must include words about mutual care, about maintaining the warmth of the family fire, about transferring the responsibility to keep its light from the older generation to the younger . The musical theme for the parting words of the parents of the bride and groom is selected individually.

Convenient ceremony design option:

The mother of the bride lights the candle first , gives parting words to her daughter, giving her to another family;
the groom's mother lights her candle next and greets her daughter-in-law, accepting her into her family;
The presenter adds a few phrases about uniting the fires of two families and the mother simultaneously lights the newlyweds’ candle .

We offer several text options for conveying fire:

only from the newlywed's mother ;
from the parents of both newlyweds (stanzas of the verse are spoken in turn, preliminary preparation is required);
the parents of both newlyweds and the host participate.

Several options for speeches from parents:

“Dear children, I ask you to be wise and ask you to sacredly preserve the warmth of your hearth, just as your dad and I did. It won't always be easy, but you must be able to show patience, love and mutual respect. We love you very much and will always worry and worry about you, as if you were still little, as if you were still 5, 7 or 12 years old. Live happily together! Love each other and cherish your family hearth.”

“It is at the same time sad, responsible and very reverent - to convey to you a symbol of family warmth and comfort (to convey the flame of the family hearth). Let it warm you, your children, your loved ones and relatives.”

And these verses are a kind of instruction to a young bride from her mother:

And this is the poem “Admonition to the Son-in-Law” (Author - Tatyana Rosenthal. Source.)

If desired, the bride (along with the groom) can, before lighting the candle, say in poetic or ordinary form a request to the parents to share the warmth of their family hearth .

After the candle of the family hearth is lit, the parents of the newlyweds can once again congratulate them together. The main motive of congratulations is advice to carry love, fidelity, and understanding through the years of married life.

What music to perform the ritual to?

To emphasize the significance and warmth of the moment, the music for lighting the family hearth at a wedding must be chosen correctly. The composition should be calm, lyrical, with or without words. The main thing is that the text does not contradict the tradition and concept of the wedding as a whole. Music for lighting the family hearth can be selected from the following options:

Destination point – “In plain sight”;
Soso Pavliashvili – “To please”;
Irina Allegrova - “The Two of Us”;
Igor Krutoy - “When I close my eyes”;
Vasily Perebikovsky - “There are difficult moments in life”;
Soso Pavliashvili - “The sky in the palm of your hand”;
Sting – “Shape Of My Heart”;
Paul Mauriat – “Love is blue”;
Libera – “Ave Maria”;
Howard Shore - "Wedding Plans";
Hans Zimmer - "Tennessee".

The bride and groom, together with their parents, can choose a composition that has symbolic meaning in their lives. In this case, it will mark another important stage in the life of the newlyweds.

How to choose music?

There are several important criteria when choosing a musical background for a ceremony:

the music should be without words, otherwise they may confuse the leader of the ceremony (even if the song sounds quiet);
there should be no differences in volume, the track should sound evenly;
the music should sound in the background, complement the speech, but not interrupt it in volume.

The best option would be compositions that feature solo violin, piano, and flute .

Also, it is worth preparing the audience 5-10 minutes before the lighting of the “family hearth”: from fast compositions (if there were dances before) you should delicately switch to more moderate ones, and immediately before the ceremony, turn on a slow song.

Thus, the transition to the substrate for the ceremony itself will be smooth. After completing the ritual, it is also worth maintaining a slow tempo in the music for some time.