Dear readers and blog readers who courageously joined them! Vostochny I say hello to you!
Symbolically, today’s anniversary, hundredth, article on my blog is about the customs of a Turkish wedding.
“What is the symbolism?” you may be surprised. “Who the hell knows, that’s how it seemed to me.” Maybe, as in the joke “It’s time for you to get married, master”
Putting jokes aside, let's approach our topic with all possible seriousness, because a wedding in Turkey is very, very serious. This is what you will now see clearly.
So, even having a good idea of how things are with this in Turkey, I decided to play it safe and talk to wedding ceremony expert Tuce Hanim - a smart and beautiful woman who works for the benefit of one of the most famous hotel chains, not only in the country, but and beyond.
“Hanim,” of course, is not a surname, but a respectful prefix when addressing a woman or girl in Turkey. And for men, accordingly, it will be “Beat.” Well, like “Ivan Bey”
Let’s immediately make a reservation that Turkey is, of course, not our 1/8th of the landmass, but it is also a very large country, let’s say by average European standards. And it is inhabited by very different people and even nations - if not Kurds, then, as a rule, collectively referred to as “Turks”, each with their own foundations, traditions and rules.
In general, we are talking about an average picture of fairly general traditions, keeping in mind that it is simply impossible to fit them all into the top ten.
Therefore, our TOP 10 are a kind of cornerstone of Turkish wedding traditions.
Dowry or in Turkish “çeyiz” (“cheez”)…
... families of girls in Turkey begin to gather very, very early on, almost from childhood. Towels, bed linen, dishes, household and kitchen appliances - you won’t find anything there. However, there is an option for lazy people - ready-made chests (literally) with a dowry, which can be bought in online stores. Progress, however, does not require “years of hard work acquired”...
If anyone thinks that the girl’s family can easily jump off this topic, getting away with a “New Year’s set of candies,” then they are mistaken. Especially, the families of grooms on the Black Sea coast, after the wedding, love to visit the house of the newlyweds, and the girl must lay out in front of them what she came to the groom’s house with. They'll discuss it, they'll discuss it...
wedding ceremony
The wedding ritual in Turkey consists of several parts - the night of henna, putting on the veil, taking the bride from her father's house, hanging the flag and the wedding room. Let's look at each of them in more detail.
Kyna Gejesi
Kyna gejesi or henna night is the last night that the bride spends in her parents' house. This evening, neighbors, friends and relatives from both sides gather at the girl’s home. Dry henna is diluted in a silver or copper bowl brought from the groom's house. Traditionally, this procedure is entrusted to a young woman whose father and mother are both alive. The prepared mixture is applied to the heels and hands of the bride while singing folk songs. The girl's face is covered with a red veil. A mandatory item in the program is money, which the groom's family must leave in the hands of the bridegroom. Then most of the guests go home, and the bride with her friends and close relatives party until the morning.
On a note! In some cities, henna night is held not only for the bride, but also for the groom.
Girls rub the bride's hands with henna.
Picking up the girl from her parents' house. Everyone can take part in the ceremony of picking up the bride from her parents' house. If the girl lives near the guy’s house, they go to pick her up on foot. Otherwise, they are sent by car. In this case, those present must have a flag, zurna and drum. The preparation of the bride (outfit and hairstyle) is done by her daughters-in-law, but modern Turkish women increasingly entrust this mission to professional stylists and hairdressers.
Having given the bride the opportunity to say goodbye to her family, one of the close men places a red virginity belt around her waist. To take the bride away from home, the groom's representatives pay her family a ransom. After walking around the surrounding area to the sounds of davul and zurna, the groom takes his chosen one to his house. On the threshold they are met by their mother-in-law, who presents her daughter-in-law with another gift. After this, the guy carries her over the threshold in his arms. A few hours later, the young man's friends take him to a traditional ceremony of shaving, bathing and dressing. Then the groom goes to the mosque to offer night prayers. At its end, the mola performs a special Muslim rite that makes the marriage legal and gives the guy the right to enter the bride’s room.
The groom's relatives go to the bride's house
Hanging the flag
While the groom is in the hands of the mula, relatives and friends who have returned from the mosque plant the wedding flag. In some cases, an onion, an apple, a pear, etc. are placed on the top of its head. After the ceremonial hanging of the banner, the wedding celebration is usually considered open.
Marriage room
At this stage, the elderly woman, who has been next to the bride all this time, passes her hands into the hands of the groom. He performs the traditional Turkish prayer and gives his newly-made wife a gift that allows him to open the veil. Then the newlyweds have dinner - usually with what was brought from the bride's house.
Following this comes the most important moment of the wedding - the loss of virginity by the bride. Once upon a time this event was given great importance. Now the requirements for Turkish girls have softened somewhat, although in some provinces they remain just as strict. So, if after the wedding night the husband did not see blood, which is considered the main proof of female innocence, the girl was immediately sent to her parents’ house. In other cases, the bride put on a beautiful outfit and continued to have fun in the company of her friends, showing off the dirty sheet to everyone present. Fortunately, over time, the Turks abandoned this custom, which seemed wild to a European. Now it exists only in a few regions.
Couple in love
A traditional Turkish wedding lasts 3 days - from Tuesday to Thursday or from Friday to Sunday. All expenses are paid by the groom's family. As with betrothal, “entrance” to the ceremony is by invitation only. In the last hours before the ceremony, the preparation of the next gifts is completed in the groom's house, and in the bride's house the dowry, which has been collected almost since her birth, is hastily packed.
On a note! The dowry for Turkish girls includes towels, dishes, kitchen and household appliances, bed linen and other things necessary for a comfortable life. By the way, it is not at all necessary to collect them with backbreaking labor - you can safely use the services of online stores that sell ready-made chests for brides.
As you can see, a wedding in Turkey is a long and carefully planned event. The stages of formation of a future family begin long before the wedding, and the marriage ceremony itself is preceded by several important moments. Sometimes more than one year passes before lovers reach the registry office, therefore, when planning to marry a Turk, you need to be prepared for any turn of events.
Happy couple
Rings
Previously, in Turkey everything was like “people”, that is, only ordinary wedding rings. But then the Westerners came and, as always, ruined everything for everyone 
First of all, for grooms - by introducing into fashion rings made of gold with one diamond, the so-called “tek taşlı yüzük” (“tek tashly yuzük”, that is, a ring with one stone and it’s clear which one...).
And when now a guy proposes to a girl, in a romantic setting and on his knee (if rheumatism does not torment him ), and if he is at a certain level of well-being, then the Turkish young lady will already be waiting for this ring in a velvet box.
Well, he expects that she will accept the proposal and put the ring on the ring finger of her right hand (don’t confuse girls).
In addition, there are also wedding rings, the type familiar to us, which are worn during engagement, on top of the first ring, on the same ring finger of the right hand.
After the wedding, the girl begins to wear both rings on the ring finger of her left hand.
Also, special pre-wedding thin gold wedding rings or, say, bracelets are sometimes used instead of regular wedding rings, which are worn later.
Matchmaking or in Turkish “isteme ve söz” (“isteme ve söz”)
The groom's family, as full as possible, goes to woo the bride with flowers (roses, as a rule) and a special box of chocolates, as well as a special silver tray.
Which is then kept for many years as an important family heirloom. Not in the sense that “remember how I once hit you over the head with this tray?”
The groom's father wooes the bride's father, and the groom's job is to drink coffee, which traditionally will be salty, without wincing. If he didn’t wince, it means the “fighter” is ready for family difficulties.
Maybe the future mother-in-law will come to the rescue: they say, that’s enough, everyone saw that you are “ready.” But such mothers-in-law are worth their weight in gold...
It's the bride's job to blush and be embarrassed, not to rub her hands contentedly.
Betrothal or in Turkish “nişan” (“nishan”)
The next step on the road to marriage may or may not happen. It all depends on how eager the young couple are to formalize their relationship. If they are in a hurry, then immediately after matchmaking they can set a wedding date.
The event can be organized both in a wide group and in a narrow circle, both outside the home and at home. But in the latter case, this will, traditionally, be the bride's house and all expenses associated with the engagement will be paid by the bride's family.
This is not altruism - the groom’s family will “take the rap” for the wedding, that is, much more seriously.
Menu
The more varied the menu, the richer the wedding is considered. Plates and trays are literally stacked on top of each other. Stuffed chicken legs, baked potatoes, and spinach pie are often served as main dishes. Alcohol is not always used. More often they get by with sweet drinks and tea. It all depends on the budget, but the Turks themselves do not go to a wedding to eat.
Photo album
Needless to say, all stages of the newlyweds’ thorny path to becoming a full-fledged unit of society are recorded by professional photographers - matchmaking, betrothal and the climax - the wedding itself.
To then release photo albums in several copies for both families, recording the young people in a variety of interiors and exteriors, at home and in the open air. Both the full version and the “pocketbook”.
Pre-wedding shopping
A very interesting event, during which the groom’s family takes the bride, and the bride’s family takes the groom shopping and buy literally everything that catches their eye, and not only the essentials.
Brides are bought dresses, jewelry and various cosmetics. They should also buy underwear, but not all girls are ready for such a test - to buy something lacy for themselves under the curious gaze of their betrothed’s relatives, especially since there may also be male representatives among them. Cousins or brothers there.
By the way, few foreign brides know about this tradition, and their Turkish mothers-in-law can “squeeze”
The bride's family also buys a long list of everything for the grooms, but the main accessory is, without fail, a watch of a good brand. So that they “tick” all their lives.
Newlyweds' outfits
To make your wedding look Turkish from start to finish, you can wear traditional wedding attire. It is worth noting that brides from Russia rarely replace a white fluffy dress with an embroidered robe. However, consider options for women's national costumes decorated with coins, fringe, and beads.
The bride's dress is not always white. Burgundy, blue, orange colors are allowed. Much more attention is paid to the cost of matter. Until marriage, a girl's hair must be covered with a scarf.
And yet, by entrusting the organization of your wedding to specialists in their field, you can ask them to choose a wedding dress of incredible beauty for you.
Many centuries ago, under tight trousers, the groom wore an embroidered robe with long sleeves and a block with pendants to the celebration. Today, young people prefer versatile formal suits.
Interesting! A wedding at sea requires a special outfit. We have collected the best dress options in this article.
Night of henna or “kına gecesi” (“kyna gecesi”)
If it comes to the night of henna, then - “hana”: the wedding is no longer just around the corner, but most likely the next day.
Henna Night is a sort of oriental-style bachelorette party, which was traditionally held at home. This is understandable; the girl says goodbye to her home and goes to her groom.
However, in recent years, this event is increasingly being moved outside the home, and its organization is entrusted to professionals. They will explain that the girl should cry louder if she gets a laugh, and also that she should keep her hands clenched into fists and only when her future mother-in-law gives her a gold coin, open them in order to apply a traditional henna design on both palms.
The groom and the “kunaki of the horseman in love”, in principle, do not participate in the holiday. They have their own “carols”. But recently there has been a trend for the male half to join the female half at the end of the evening.
The best places for a celebration
It is difficult to answer this question unequivocally. There are many cities in the country where you can hold a wedding ceremony. You have the right to choose the time of year, since the sun shines here for 10 months. In summer, young people can enjoy swimming in the coastal waters, and in winter, ski off the slopes of one of the local ski resorts. A wedding in Turkey for two is great in the following cities.
Kemer
This is one of the most favorite places among future spouses. The city is surrounded by mountains on one side and washed by the waters of the Mediterranean Sea on the other . Newlyweds are invited to celebrate their wedding in the style of a national holiday, celebrate the holiday along the coast or go to the islands of Sedir, Kekova or Imbros.
Interesting ! Planning to spend your holiday on the beach? Let me help you. In this article we have collected the best ideas for a wedding near the sea.
Sid
In addition to traditional options, here you will be offered to celebrate your wedding on a yacht and enjoy swimming in crystal clear sea water. Sid's panoramas amaze with their magnificence and uniqueness.
Belek
The city is rightfully considered a “bird paradise”. Rare bird species can be found here. It is believed that Belek is one of the most expensive resorts in Turkey. But newlyweds who are looking for a quiet place and a comfortable stay will be impressed after staying here.
Antalya
A snow-white beach, the Tamara lighthouse, a ski resort, an orange garden - this is not a complete list of what lovers will see in Antalya. In addition, this is where you will be offered an interesting wedding tour, which includes a wedding ceremony according to local customs and a trip to the sights of the city.
Bodrum
Those who like to have fun will appreciate the opportunity to visit one of the most famous discos in the world - Helicarnassus. After the wedding ceremony, head here to spend time in a fiery dance.
“Rings and bracelets, skirts and jackets...” (C)
Investment gold in Turkey is sold in the form of gold coins of a certain weight and is called “republican gold” (“cumhuriyet altını” or “cumhuriyet altını”).
It is sold in any jewelry store and can be sold back there without questions, according to current prices per gram of precious metal.
It is “republican gold” and gold bracelets that are a mandatory gift at a Turkish wedding. The bracelets are put on the bride’s hands, and the coins are put into a purse to turn the “unfortunate” girl into a cash collector by the end of the evening.
The only thing that should console her is that the gold is hers, and not the groom’s “reserve fund” or “national welfare fund.”
Where to mark
A wedding agency can offer you many options or organize the wedding of your dreams.
Popular places:
- on the sea coast to the sound of waves at sunset;
- romantic candlelit dinner on a yacht on the high seas;
- in the Church of St. Nicholas;
- in the panoramic tunnel of the oceanarium;
- in the Karain cave (Antalya);
- in a closed national restaurant.
SPA treatments
These include the bride and her bridesmaids going together to a Turkish bath - hamam, where they not only steam, wash and exfoliate, but also have fun in all the ways available to the fair sex.
And of course, a joint trip to the hairdresser on the wedding day. And here the groom will pay for everything - for the bride, mother-in-law and all the girlfriends. Haircuts, styling, manicures and pedicures - everything your heart desires for the entire female team.
They shave him solemnly and with special care.
All this solemn action, naturally, is recorded on photo and video cameras to become an important part of the wedding album.
How can Russians get married in Turkey?
Turkey for newlyweds is a magical land where you can have a wonderful rest and enjoy the beauty of this ancient country. Today, hotels on the seashore can offer an entertaining show - a Turkish wedding. The ceremony program includes the services of a Russian-speaking host, live music, and “guests” who are ready to give the newlyweds flowers and small souvenirs. The event can be held either at the hotel or at the wedding salon.
A symbolic wedding in Turkey in 2022 is also in demand among those who have been married for a long time or are just about to get married. Prices for the event start from 1000 USD. The newlyweds “sign” and are presented with a special certificate; the ceremony includes a festive address from the host, congratulations, photos and videos. Additionally, you can order a bride price, launching of doves, lanterns, a buffet or a banquet.
In Alanya, Kemer, Side and other resort cities, weddings in the Turkish style are also held. The event includes a set of rituals and traditions familiar to Turks. Drums and zurna sound, musicians play, the young husband goes for the bride, they are showered with coins and candies.
