Turkey is a country that has taken wedding traditions from Eastern and European culture, but at the same time, does not forget about its customs. A Turkish wedding has its own traditions and customs, which are passed on from year to year to new generations of young couples.
In Turkey, wedding celebrations are always fun: with dancing, singing and gifts of gold. A wedding usually takes place outdoors, in the air. At a wedding, the main issue is the correct arrangement of tables, since it is important who will sit and where.
In this country, a wedding is an unforgettable celebration. The place where it will take place is decorated with colorful wreaths and bouquets of flowers. People can come to this wedding without an invitation. An interesting fact is that only fruit drinks and large cakes are displayed on the tables. Light snacks are rarely placed on tables. Few guests drink the rake drink mixed with water, allowing them to leave in their cars. Turkish residents say at a wedding you need to have fun with songs and dances, and, of course, give valuable gifts to the newlyweds, and not eat deliciously at the table.
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The role of Miran
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Engagement
Türkiye professes Islam. In every Turkish family, honesty comes first. When a guy and a girl start dating, their parents agree on an engagement day, which in Turkey is called “nishan”. The engagement party is fun because many people are invited. The lovers exchange rings and from then on become the bride and groom. The bride's parents prepare their daughter's dowry. According to Turkish customs, the groom and his family buy an apartment, clothes and beautiful gold bracelets. After getting engaged to her family, a girl goes to the market to buy things for a new home, since the woman is responsible for the comfort of the family. The wedding dress is chosen not by the girl herself, but by her groom.
If the girl is a Christian, then the groom buys her a short dress for the wedding, and if she is a Muslim, then the dress will be long and cover the entire body.
Wedding dress in Turkey - this dress is embroidered with bright flowers and beads, decorated with thin lace. The girl puts the veil on top of the scarf. Previously, dresses were only one color, but now fashion designers offer wedding dresses in different colors with bright embroidery.
A few days before the upcoming wedding, a henna night is celebrated, in which only women take part. According to ancient tradition, the bride should wear a purple dress. Henna is added to the water, the container is placed on a candlestick and the candles are lit. Friends sing songs and cry as they see off the bride. The bride's hands are painted with henna so that her family life is happy and rich. Then the future wife is given red gloves and everyone sits down at the table. The celebration lasts until the morning. A wedding in Turkey begins at eight in the evening; a registry office employee signs the wedding at home.
Zaybek
During the Ottoman Empire, the word Zaybek was used to describe police units. The word itself is translated as “brother”, “friend”. This dance is considered the Turkish dance of men. The first part of the dance is called the “walk” - the men slowly and proudly walk to the music. As the music gets louder and more active, the main part begins, accompanied by shouts. The main movements are squats and turns. Zaybek is performed to the accompaniment of drums and pipes. Dancers can also accompany their movements with the sound of wooden spoons in time with the main music.
Matchmaking
The groom's family goes to the bride's house to ask her relatives for her hand in marriage. Be sure to bring flowers and chocolate with you on a silver tray. The girl's relatives greet the guests with tea and light snacks.
The bride brings coffee to the table. If the groom gets a sweet drink, then the girl agrees, a savory one means she refuses, sugar is on the saucer - she asks for time to think.
If the bride agrees and the relatives bless the union, the groom presents the girl with a ring as a gift, as well as a scarf embroidered with silver or gold.
The bride treats guests to coffee: Pexels
How to prepare for a wedding with a native Turk
A woman in love with a Turk needs to prepare for the wedding in advance and learn about all their traditions and customs. It is worth carefully organizing everything for the celebration in order to take the traditions of your future husband seriously.
It is important to understand the possibility of combining Turkish traditions and modern European style.
Marry a Turk
Turkish men are very courteous and colorful in appearance. As a rule, they stand on their own feet and know how to provide for their family. Ladies who have found love and are going to marry a Turkish man should take into account several important points.
- The spouse should dress extremely modestly when leaving the house. On the contrary, home clothes are elegant and emphasize all feminine virtues.
- No strangers - this is a strict prohibition, even if it is an old friend.
- The will of the mother-in-law in the house is the law for the daughter-in-law. And the husband’s word is decisive and cannot be appealed. But this does not mean that the spouse cannot be persuaded. A wise wife is quite capable of directing a man’s thoughts in the direction she wants without scandals.
- You will most likely have to give up your job. There are few work opportunities for women in Turkey, and a married woman working is something out of the norm. Although, recently Turkish ladies have achieved some changes in relaxations
- The Muslim faith does not allow a wife to deny her husband intimacy. Likewise, you should not take the initiative or behave uninhibitedly.
If these differences in family and cultural life do not frighten you, and your feelings are strong, advice and love, as they say!
Wedding celebrations in Turkey retain all the charm of their uniqueness. Alien values bursting into the life of this large country have not yet crippled its national flavor. To attend a traditional Turkish wedding means to plunge into the unique culture of this people.
Akmaral Askarova, 37 years old, hometown - Astana
About dating
I met my husband in 2008 in Almaty.
At that time, I worked in a Turkish company, and he came from Turkey to the position of financier. We worked together for three years, after which we parted ways and I moved to Astana.
In 2015, he invited me to vacation in Turkey, and I flew to Istanbul.
We went to the resort where he proposed. We went to his parents, they live in Manisa. The acquaintance went well, although it was all unexpected.
Returning to Astana, we began preparations for Kyz Uzat, which took place in 2016.
Unfortunately, my husband came alone, since his parents were aged, and we did not risk their health.
About the features of a Turkish wedding
When the bride is taken from her parents' house, the father or older brother ties the bride's belt with a red ribbon, covers her head with an openwork red scarf and takes her out of the house.
Also, when we arrived at my husband’s house, my mother-in-law gave me a clay pot decorated with ribbons, filled with sweets, wheat and coins. I had to break it so that the family could have prosperity and well-being.
The wedding took place on February 14, 2016.
The celebration took place in a wedding salon and there was no main food, there were only cakes, light snacks and drinks. This is exactly how a typical Turkish wedding goes.
Ritual by the river
At Caucasian weddings, it is customary for the bride to go out to the river, which should protect the girl from an accident. The Caucasian peoples believed that a woman could be pulled into a fast mountain river by a water one when she came to collect water.
It was customary to take the bride to the river bank. At this time, the groom must throw bread into the water and shoot at it.
The main thing is to know one single rule - it is customary to give newlyweds either gold or money.
Our wedding took place in Istanbul, on a ship. We wanted something beautiful and original.
The evening was fun, there were Turkish halay dances and Kazakh karajorga, Turkish songs and the permanent repertoire of Kairat Nurtas
. Our wedding had food, but in Turkey it is not customary to prepare a lot of treats and dishes. Traditionally, the tables are served with cakes, light snacks and soft drinks. Guests come to the holiday not for food, but for a good mood, to dance and chat with young people.
About plans
In February of this year, our son Ediz was born.
My husband supports me, teaches me Kazakh and tries in every possible way to make my family happy. Therefore, I want to be a great mother and a loving wife who makes her husband happy.
Belly dance
Turkish belly dance originates in the East. During the reign of the Ottoman Empire, this dance was widespread and was performed not only by women, but also by men. In ancient times, there were associations of male dancers who dressed in women's skirts or bloomers and performed a passionate belly dance. The musical accompaniment for the dance is the rhythmic sounds of clarinet, oboe, cymbals and drums. The artistic and provocative manner of performing the dance most likely stems from competition in the harems of the Ottoman Empire, when this dance originated. Nowadays belly dancing is performed by girls in beautiful bright outfits that highlight their ideal figure.
Wedding
The groom chooses the bride's dress. In conservative families, outfits are always closed, with long sleeves and a skirt. A wide red belt is worn around the waist, which symbolizes the innocence of the bride. In modern families, dresses can be more open, and the belt no longer serves as a sign of purity, but is used as a tribute to tradition.
A huge number of guests are invited to the celebration: 300 people - a modest figure by Turkish standards.
Traditionally, soft drinks, sweets, and nuts are served at the table. At a wedding, be sure to have a plastic cake, inside of which there is a regular flat sponge cake. His spouses cut him into equal pieces. Guests are treated to cake and fed to each other.
The unusual tradition with a plastic cake is simply explained. A multi-tiered figured dessert is not so easy to cut into even pieces. Cutting a flat sponge cake neatly will not be difficult.
Not a single Turkish wedding is complete without fiery dancing, as the writer A. Shcherbakova notes in the book “Turkey from the Inside. How do they really live in a country of contrasts at the intersection of religions and cultures?” The newlyweds open the dances, and after them the rest of the guests take to the dance floor.
It is customary to give money or gold as gifts to spouses. The closer the person is, the more valuable the gift is expected from him.
Turkish Wedding Cake: Pexels
How does matchmaking and engagement work?
When a man reaches 28–30 years of age, the Turks believe that it is the best time for him to get a wife. The whole family actively participates in the process of choosing a future bride.
First of all, candidates are considered among unmarried cousins - such a close family marriage is allowed there, it is called “preferred”. If the bride is not in this circle, then they look closely at the daughters of their parents’ friends, acquaintances, neighbors, and then become interested in girls living in nearby villages.
The optimal female age for marriage is considered to be 17-23 years old. Foster brothers and sisters are considered to be relatives and therefore cannot marry. The bride's family, having received the news that a candidate has appeared for the hand and heart of their girl, also collects information about him, but does not show increased interest and does not give a quick answer.
The period from engagement to wedding can last several years, but cohabitation in Turkey is the exception rather than the rule. Here it is customary to either get married or date.
This usually happens in villages, but in cities young people get to know each other without the participation of their parents, and having decided to start a family, they inform their families about this, receive blessings for this step and begin preparations, and at this time their relatives have the opportunity to get closer and get to know each other better .
Taigeldi is a type of marriage when a widower or divorced man marries a widow or divorced woman, and their children also marry. Nishan or engagement is enshrined in the Turkish Civil Code, has legal force and is equivalent to a promise to marry, but this ritual cannot serve as a basis for forcing the parties (or one of them) to register a marriage.
Any party can terminate the nishan, and all gifts must be returned to the donor. If there is no compelling reason for the break, then the “victim” may demand compensation for material losses, preparation costs, and also compensation for moral damage.
As such, there are no strict rules according to which it is customary to celebrate this event; in different parts of the country, the engagement ceremony can take place in different ways, it depends on the desire and financial capabilities.
Some people celebrate Nishan pompously, with a large number of guests, like a wedding rehearsal, with a luxurious banquet, dancing and photos, while others celebrate it modestly with their closest loved ones. In a domestic setting, the engagement takes place at the bride's home, and all expenses for the event are borne by her family.
During nishan, the parties discuss all the nuances, set a wedding date, and then preparations for this day begin.
Most weddings in Turkey take place on Thursday.
Registration is carried out by a visiting mullah. There is only one obligatory condition - the exchange of wedding rings, which engaged people wear on their right ring fingers, and after the wedding they will change to their left hand. They are tied with the ends of a red ribbon, and the eldest male relative puts the rings on the young ones, and he also cuts the ribbon with scissors.
Then a prayer can be read and congratulations from those present can be accepted. The rings are always gold and the man buys them.
Horon
The Turkish folk dance Horon is typical of the regions along the Black Sea line. Its name literally translates as “dance”. The funeral is accompanied by active music and cheerful songs. During the performance, the dancers line up in a row or form a circle. The main movements are working with the shoulders, bending the body, kneeling and actively swinging the legs forward.
Traditional dances at a Turkish wedding
Having received all the gifts, the bride and groom go to the middle and dance a traditional Turkish dance. After the young couple's dance ends, all the guests begin to sing and dance. Even the oldest guests dance merrily at the celebration. Old Turkish women playfully and loudly click their heels, beating out the rhythm of the dance. They believe that this is their last fun evening, since they will soon be busy raising their grandchildren and will not have time for fun.
After the end of the cheerful wedding celebration, as at Russian weddings, the newlyweds are presented with lush “cones.” Turkish “cones” look a little prettier, they are baked in the shape of a seashell. In addition to the “cones,” the newlyweds are given snow-white candies.
We told you about the traditions and customs of a Turkish wedding.
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Wedding gifts
In Turkey, only expensive gold jewelry is given to newlyweds at a wedding. The most solemn moment at a wedding is the presentation of gifts. The invitees approach the bride and groom with wishes for a happy life, and attach a gold medal to the girl’s dress. By the end of receiving gifts, the bride's outfit shines like a star. All donated gold belongs only to the bride, and if the couple decides to file for divorce, then the wife takes all the gold for herself.
The beginning of family life
The first wedding night is the final stage of wedding celebrations. In Muslim families, great importance is attached to the purity of the bride.
- An old-fashioned custom is still preserved in Turkish villages. Spouses who have spent the night together hang out the “virgin scarf” - the sheet on which they slept - for public judgment. If there is no blood, the girl may well be returned back to her parents in disgrace.
- The groom's relatives visit the newlyweds after the wedding; the young wife must demonstrate all the dowry with which she came to the family. This custom is especially strong on the Black Sea coast. The insufficient quantity and quality of things, according to the new relatives, is a reason for misunderstandings.
A combination of luxury and restraint in Turkish wedding traditions
The bride's dress really looks luxurious because it is made of expensive fabrics and materials. The newlyweds do not spare any money on their wedding dresses. Besides all this, the wedding dress is quite discreet: the entire body and shoulders are covered.
The dress is most often made of gold threads and decorated with stones and jewelry. In the photo, Turkish dresses look great because they shimmer in the light.
Also, as a tradition, girls should wear a scarf on their heads that will match the color of the entire outfit.
