Meaning
A wedding symbolically means the unity of Christ in the form of the groom and the Orthodox Church in the form of the bride. The sacrament represents mutual vows of love and fidelity. After the exchange of rings and the solemn service, the bride and groom are considered spouses in the eyes of God, an unbreakable spiritual bond is formed between them, and the new family is blessed with a happy life and the birth of children. It is worth remembering that a wedding is forever, and there is no decrement ceremony. Peculiarity! Of course, the church meets the weak human nature halfway and allows remarriage, but only after penance, confession, and no more than three times in a lifetime. A civil unregistered marriage is also considered.
How does the wedding of a couple who have been married for several years take place?
The ceremony itself is performed the same way, no matter how long the couple has been married. In the same way, a husband and wife about to get married need to come to the priest and show their marriage certificate. Both spouses must be baptized and true believers. This cannot be proven with documents, but during the conversation the priest will ask questions to make sure that the newlyweds do not deny the fundamental tenets of Christianity
Representatives of different Christian denominations, including Catholics and Protestants, can get married. But weddings in churches for already married people who are not Christians (Muslims, Buddhists, Shintoists and others) are prohibited.
The priest will explain to the husband and wife what marriage is from a Christian point of view and talk about how the ceremony will take place. When registering with the registry office, the bride and groom are given a month to think about it. The Church doesn't do that. You need to observe a three-day obligatory fast (or better yet, do it for a week). Before the ceremony itself, the husband and wife must confess and receive communion. All this is necessary for a wedding in a church for already married people, regardless of how long the man and woman managed to live together after the state registration of the union.
What time after the wedding is best?
There is no clear answer to this question. You should take a serious oath only when you feel that you are ready for it. You must be sure that you will live with your chosen one all your life, accepting his disadvantages and weaknesses, pride and mistakes. A union consecrated by the church is a spiritual unity, a joint path to God, requiring inner maturity, wisdom, and tolerance.
According to the canons, a wedding is allowed both on the day of marriage registration, and after a month, a year, ten years - at any time when the realization of readiness for an important step comes.
If you want to become spouses before the state and before God on the same day, you should carefully plan the time of both celebrations. It is usually recommended to space the two ceremonies in time, since the newlyweds and guests may get tired of so many impressions.
As for the upper limit, there is none. You can seal the union with spiritual ties even after fifty years of marriage - and in this case it will definitely be a balanced and unchangeable decision.
Is it possible and what is the best way to get married without witnesses and guests, in secret?
Secret wedding
If the newlyweds have not found witnesses who comply with the church charter, they can get married without witnesses. In this case, no one holds the crowns over their heads, but they are put on their heads.
A girl and a guy can get married secretly if they are believers, attend religious services, and their parents are atheists.
But if young people want to get married secretly without witnesses and guests, then the priest needs to understand the reason for this decision. If a secret wedding is chosen due to parental disagreement, kinship or adulterous cohabitation, then the priest may refuse to perform the ceremony.
Preparation
A wedding is possible only for newlyweds who have already formalized their relationship legally (exceptions are possible, but very rare). So, strictly speaking, any couple will get married after the wedding, the only question is how long their family life lasted.
If you just recently got married and the bride is innocent, then there are no special requirements. If your family has existed for some time, there are some nuances:
- According to the rules of the church only a virgin can wear a veil , while a wife who has already known her husband must cover her head with a light scarf (nothing, however, prevents you from decorating it with lace or making it from translucent fabric);
- If the bride is not getting married for the first time, then the dress should be chosen not snow-white, but any other light shade ;
- Older brides are advised to choose a cream, pastel, golden dress , even if this is her first and only marriage;
- Married couples need to remember that they should fast for three days before the ceremony - not eat animal food, tune in to spiritual cleansing and rebirth, and also avoid intimate relationships;
- A woman’s pregnancy is not an obstacle to the wedding, but on critical days it is strictly forbidden to attend church , so check your calendar.
What else married couples need to know
There are several rules that married couples should familiarize themselves with.
After several years of marriage
The wedding ceremony is carried out only after the marriage has been officially registered. Therefore, it does not matter when the wedding procedure is carried out. Weddings can be performed for people who have been officially married for 10, 25 and even 30 years. It doesn't matter how many years have passed since marriage. The main thing is that it is officially registered in the registry office. In this case, the church clergyman will not be able to refuse to carry out the wedding procedure for a married couple.
If second marriage
Marriage for deeply religious people is considered a rather serious procedure, and therefore some people who decide to remarry are treated with skepticism. Most often, such people are denied a wedding, but sometimes the church may allow remarriage. There are two reasons why remarriage is permitted. These include the madness of one of the spouses or betrayal. In this case, you will have to contact the church in advance and describe the situation in detail. A good priest will be able to understand the person asking for help and will allow the wedding to be held again.
Debunking
Over time, some people can no longer live together and decide to separate. Therefore, they have to dissolve their previously concluded marriage. There are seven cases in which the Orthodox Church recognizes a church marriage as dissolved and invalid:
- proven fact of adultery;
- entering into a new marriage without prior church blessing;
- renunciation of one of the spouses from the faith;
- imprisonment;
- abortion committed by the wife without the knowledge of the husband;
- the emergence and development of mental illness;
- infringement on the life or health of other people.
All these actions are condemned by Christianity, and therefore any of them is considered a valid reason for dissolving a previously concluded marriage.
Choice and Behavior of Witnesses
The most important decision when preparing a wedding ceremony is the choice of witnesses. There are two things to pay attention to when choosing them:
- Witnesses who have previously gone through the baptism procedure are chosen for the ceremony. Therefore, each of them must have personal crosses.
- An important feature that should be taken into account when choosing witnesses is that the witnesses acquire a certain connection during the ritual. It is often equated with family ties, and therefore people who want to get married in the future should not be made witnesses. This way they will not be able to bind themselves spiritually ahead of time.
Select date
For many young couples, the problem becomes choosing a suitable date for a wedding ceremony in a church. There are several dates when it will not be possible to get married. The clergy do not allow the ceremony to be performed during:
- multi-day and one-day Orthodox fasts;
- Easter;
- moving holidays.
Therefore, it is necessary to check the calendar in advance to make sure that the selected date does not coincide with any church holiday.
Rules
Any church sacrament has certain requirements that must be observed. Thus, the bride’s outfit must be chaste, covering the neckline, knees, shoulders, arms (at least up to the elbows). Pantsuits, dark or bright colors are not acceptable.
Refrain from large ornate jewelry and bright cosmetics, pay special attention to the absence of lipstick, because you will have to kiss the cross.
The sacrament is not performed on fasting days or major church holidays. The wedding is impossible on Tuesday, Thursday or Saturday, because then the first wedding night falls on a fast day.
Important! If your passport contains a name that differs from the one you received at baptism, notify the priest about this in advance. During the sacrament, it will be necessary to use the second name given before God.
Both newlyweds must be baptized Orthodox Christians (with reservations, Christians of other denominations are allowed), who are not blood or spiritual relatives of each other, and who are not bound by other marriage vows.
In the case of a second wedding, it is necessary to obtain permission from the bishop to dissolve the previous marriage, as well as to enter into a new one. In addition, if the previous marriage was dissolved due to the fault of the newlywed, then one should repent and perform the assigned penance.
The minimum age of the bride is 16 years, the groom - 18. The maximum age is limited to 60 years for a woman and 70 for a man, but this rule is not strictly observed. For a couple who have lived a long life in a secular marriage, they will most likely make an exception and get married, even if one or both spouses are already advanced in age.
Restrictions on weddings
To go through the procedure of a church wedding, you need to take into account numerous rules that are imposed both on the spouses themselves and on those present. There are age restrictions:
- the groom must not be under 18 or over 70 years of age;
- For the bride, the age thresholds are lower, from 16 to 60 years.
If the lower limit is strictly observed, and the girl cannot complete the ritual at 15, then the upper limit is not so strict. Many churches will be happy to hold a ceremony for older couples. What's wrong with cementing the union of those who have already lived together for decades?
The second important restriction, which is already strictly observed, is based on the days of the week. Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday are days of fasting. You cannot get married in them, because it is believed that after visiting church the newlyweds have their first wedding night. According to the canons of the church, intimacy on fasting days is prohibited. In this regard, you need to select one of the following days: Monday, Wednesday, Friday or Sunday.
Attributes
- Wedding rings . They should be as simple as possible, without complex decor or large stones. If you follow all the rules, then the bride should choose silver, and the groom should choose gold;
- Icons : the Savior for the groom, the Mother of God for the bride, best of all - received as a gift from parents;
- White or pink towel , large enough to accommodate standing newlyweds;
- Pectoral crosses should be worn by both those entering into marriage and all guests of the sacrament;
- Wedding candles , which can be purchased at the church store, and white scarves with which you will hold them;
- Red wine (Cahors);
- Freshly baked bread is donated to the church.
Blessing of parents
Before the wedding, it is necessary to obtain the blessing of the parents, which will also bless their future offspring. It would be nice, as in the old days, for parents to bless their children with icons - the groom kisses the icon of the Savior, and the bride - the icon of the Mother of God.
Of course, it is bad to get married without parental blessing, but there are times when the parents of the bride and groom are atheists and oppose the wedding. Then the parental blessing can be given by the confessor of at least one of the spouses.
Ritual
The sacrament itself takes about an hour and begins with the betrothal. The priest takes the young people to church, showing that before God they are now one whole. Wedding candles are lit, prayers are read to those entering the marriage and incense is performed. At the end, the priest puts on the rings consecrated on the throne, and the husband and wife exchange them three times, confirming their intention to always be together.
Important! On the wedding day, the couple must come to the beginning of the service, and from 12 at night it is forbidden to eat, drink alcohol and smoke.
Then the sacrament of wedding itself begins. Its main part is the expression of consent to take each other as spouses before the world and God. Prayers are offered for the blessing of marriage, family happiness, spiritual purity and future children. The newlyweds are baptized with a crown, while the wife venerates the icon of the Mother of God, and the husband venerates the face of the Savior.
Next, the priest says the solemn “Lord, our God, crown them with glory and honor!”, after which he gives the young couple a cup of red wine - a symbol of joy. First, the husband should take a sip of the Cahors, followed by the wife. The couple is circled around the lectern three times, after which they are considered spouses in the eyes of the church.
The meaning of the sacrament of wedding in Orthodoxy
Before getting married, people need to become familiar with the meaning of the sacrament in the Orthodox faith. Wedding is considered a fairly important sacrament for Orthodox people. It is carried out to unite the souls of two people. Many Orthodox Christians get married to receive a blessing from the Lord for their future life together. Also, holding a sacrament is necessary to invite God to become part of the family.
Therefore, every person who sincerely believes in the Lord must be married within the walls of a sacred temple. It is not necessary to get married and sign on the same day.
Everything you need to know about weddings
It is allowed to get married on the wedding day or after a period of time: a week, a month, years. The main thing is that all conditions provided by the church are met.
The church will also refuse to hold weddings on significant days: - September 11 - Beheading of John the Baptist; - September 27 - Exaltation of the Holy Cross; - January 7 to 19 - Christmastide; - Maslenitsa; - Bright Week (the week after Easter). Bride The bride's wedding dress should not be higher than the knees, should cover the shoulders and preferably the arms, and should not have a deep neckline (you can use long gloves, a cape, a bolero, an openwork shawl, a stole, etc.).
It is advisable to give preference to light colors along with dark and bright ones (purple, blue, black) should be abandoned.
Sundresses and trouser suits are not suitable for the ceremony. The bride must cover her head.
