ᐉ How the bride ransom is carried out. Who does the bride price? How does the bride ransom ceremony end

Wedding traditions: then and now

The bride price symbolizes the girl's departure from her father's house. She says goodbye to her parents and heads off into adulthood. Previously, the groom coming to the house had to please the girl’s parents, present gifts for his beloved and show his respect. And that was all that was needed for the bride price in the parents' house.

Now the ritual has changed almost completely, turning into a fun lead-in to the wedding event itself. The ransom is fun, accompanied by dancing, jokes, and riddles. Today, the ritual has become a funny competition for the groom, during which the bridesmaids try to confuse him and play a joke.

The groom comes to pick up the bride at her parents' house and undergoes tests prepared for him by the bridesmaids. The tests can be anything - guess your beloved's shoe, solve riddles, name 20 compliments, etc. No restrictions. If the groom fails to cope with the competition, he can pay him off by presenting him with a gift - money, sweets, fruits, etc.

The groom must know what to do and say at the bride price, and be prepared for any tests, so it is better to prepare for this event in advance.

Previously in Rus', before the wedding celebration, the groom sent the bride a box. This has been happening since the morning. The box contained gifts for the bride and her bridesmaids. you can easily follow this ancient custom, thereby appeasing your girlfriends and future wife, and who knows, maybe the bride price will go easier.

What does the groom need for ransom?

Listening to the stories of those who have already gone through all the wedding ceremonies, the future groom begins to understand that the most important and difficult thing is the bride price. After all, here he will have to get rid of the bridesmaids in every conceivable and inconceivable way. And they try in every way to catch the groom, thereby putting him in a funny position, forcing him to sing, dance, and solve riddles and puzzles.

Only a cheerful and resourceful witness can help the groom cope with the trials that befall him. Therefore, when choosing a witness, you should think about whether he can be a real helper for you on this day.

You need to prepare for the bride price in advance. And this does not mean that you need to buy sweets, wine and champagne before the ceremony. It is better to find out in advance about what competitions are prepared for you. If you were unable to do this, since the entire ransom ceremony is kept strictly secret, then take the following measures.

First of all, try to remember events and, most importantly, dates associated with you and your beloved, as well as the family of your future wife. This could be the day of meeting and first kiss, birthdays of the bride or future mother-in-law, foot size, height and weight of the beloved, and much more.

Secondly, try to remember or learn a song or poem that is appropriate for a given occasion, so that, if necessary, you do not torment yourself by remembering or making up something on the fly.

And finally, something that no ransom can do without. You should have champagne, white and red wine, chocolate, boxed chocolates, and, of course, money. It is better to have different money: coins, large or small paper bills, as well as fake caricature rubles and dollars. In general, it’s better if you have a lot of money, and it doesn’t matter what kind.

We create the surroundings

So, what does the groom need to buy the bride? Props for competitions may include various items. Depending on whether you are the future spouse or the host, it will differ dramatically. You need to prepare it in advance so that you don’t end up in an awkward situation on your wedding day.

What will your future spouse need?

As a rule, the bride, in order to avoid awkward situations, warns the young man in advance about what she will need to take with her. There is a certain list of what the groom needs to buy the bride. It is suitable for any ritual scenario.

Money in small denominations - at competitions the groom and his friends will have to pay for incorrect answers, additional attempts, to cajole those who stand in the way, etc. As a rule, for such purposes, the groom selects banknotes with a denomination of no higher than 100, 500 rubles. Particularly generous suitors pay off with a larger denomination.
Coins - will be needed in case a competition is prepared for the groom “put the name of your beloved in money”, etc. Coins can be of different denominations - from 5 kopecks to 10 rubles. Take more coins with you.
A bottle of champagne or several – champagne or wine is often used to pay off a task. You should have a few bottles with you, even if you don't plan on giving them to your bridesmaids for your wrong answers.
Candies. If you want to approach the ransom with a sense of humor, offer the bridesmaids a bag of gold for your beloved. Present a bag of chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil. It is also necessary to have several boxes of chocolates, lollipops, chocolates or chocolates with you.
A pen, a notepad - it may not be useful, but it is better if it is included in the props. Suddenly you need it unexpectedly.
Cartoon currency (print money with the image of the bride and groom). You will need them if there are not enough real ones, and the edible currency runs out (candies, champagne, etc.)
A set of jokes, songs and, of course, a great mood. You can’t go anywhere without this – the most important item in the groom’s requisites.

When planning a bride price, the groom must be prepared for anything. You should stock up on money (both real and printed out yourself), you will definitely need it, because you cannot know everything that has been prepared for you as a test. Buy more fruits, sweets and champagne or wine, put them neatly in bags and give them to a friend or witness for safekeeping. They will be useful to you in any case - passing a test incorrectly, asking to appease your parents, getting a hint to a question, etc.

On a note! Think of it as a fun competition, not a challenge. Think in advance about what you need to do when buying a bride. Remember all the significant dates - acquaintance, birthdays, etc., learn a song and a poem.

Items for organizers

The details for the ransom organizers will directly depend on what competitions will be included in the program. There are also props that are used at almost every celebration.

Posters. They will decorate the house and create the right atmosphere. Posters can contain wishes for the newlyweds, indicate that the bride lives here, etc. If you want to distinguish yourself with an original approach, you can make it yourself or order posters depicting newlyweds from a workshop; porters in the style of movie characters or cartoons will also look interesting. Posters will later become a wonderful reminder of your wedding day.
Pictures of various directions. Their content will depend on competitions. For example, a gift poster - the groom throws darts at a poster that says what he should give to his future wife. Also, prints of lips, feet, words written in different handwriting, etc. can be applied to poster pictures. pictures, their meaning and content will depend on the competitions, but in any case they will be useful to you.
Chamomile. Found at almost every ransom. A large chamomile is made, and on each petal a significant event for the newlyweds is written - first acquaintance, first kiss, etc. The groom must name the dates when this or that event occurred.
Pen, paper. Be sure to have a pen and blank sheets of paper with you. The ransom can go according to any scenario, during which you urgently have to write down or correct something.
A chest for money or a bag for collecting ransom. In order to ensure that the groom's payoff is not lost, especially when it comes to money, it is necessary to prepare in advance a chest or bag where everything will be put.

Selecting a topic

How to conduct a bride ransom in an original way? If the bridesmaids approach the organization of competitions creatively, they can bring them all under one style . To do this, they often choose a topic that is interesting to the groom himself, for example, football or hockey, fishing, video games, etc. The ransom style may be related to the profession of the hero of the occasion, for example, if he is a traffic police inspector, pilot, driver or photographer. Another option is the details of the acquaintance of the bride and groom, which allow you to organize competitions on the same topic.

Such a ransom turns out to be more balanced and interesting, but leaves the groom only guessing about what tasks await him. Just in case, it’s worth considering all possible options and stocking up on additional props. It can be placed in the trunk of the car in which the young man will come to pick up his beloved.

Example scripts

Guests from the bride’s side can use one of the universal scenarios for how to conduct a bride ransom, so as not to spend a lot of time preparing an individual scenario. Since there are many different styles of this event, each of them does not have time to become boring, so it looks like an interesting spectacle.

How to conduct bride ransom yourself? You can use a ready-made script and add some elements to it if you wish. For example, there are the following common options for conducting a ransom.

In a fairy tale style . Fairy tales can be either foreign or Russian folk tales. In most cases, the groom will have to call himself a prince and go into the lair of some villain to save his beloved princess. Most often, competitions in such a scenario are aimed at demonstrating romance, so it is advisable for the groom to repeat all the memorable dates from his life together with the bride, as well as learn a couple of her favorite songs.
Airline style . The presenters appear in the role of flight attendants, and the groom is one of the honorable guests on board the plane, who will have to save passengers from disasters. As a result of his exploits, a beauty will fall in love with him, who immediately after landing will run with the hero to the registry office. Most tasks are aimed at ingenuity or dexterity.
In gypsy style . In this case, the presenters dress in long skirts, multi-colored blouses, scarves and shawls, curl their curls and put on a large number of jewelry imitating gold. The groom is greeted not only by girls, but also by little gypsy children, while everyone is in high spirits and constantly asks to gild his pen. In this scenario, most competitions are aimed at determining the groom's luck - which of the cards he will choose during impromptu fortune telling.

The bride's friends can come up with a lot of different styles for how to conduct the bride's ransom in an original way. It could even be some kind of cool bride price scenario. You can imagine endlessly how to hold an event. Therefore, it is simply impossible for the groom to prepare for absolutely all possible options. In fact, he, too, can get pleasure that will overshadow the excitement about competitions - you just need to get used to your role and perform all tasks with soul.

Interesting!

How to bathe a bride correctly - instructions

Traditionally, a wedding begins with a bride price. It is held before the groom meets the bride on the day of the celebration. This ritual is one of the unchanging traditions that accompany a wedding. The ritual has deep roots. In ancient times, in order to take a girl who was the first assistant in the house, it was necessary to give something in return.

The groom tried to cover the inconvenience that would arise due to the girl leaving home by giving valuables, livestock and other gifts in return. In our times, this ritual takes place symbolically, and its task is not to bargain for money, but to add zest and gaiety to the event. Let's take a closer look at how to buy a bride, what the groom and witnesses should do, so that everyone is satisfied and the procedure does not drag on.

Redemption rules

Witnesses are often involved in organizing the bride ransom. But the main part still falls on the bridesmaid.

Some couples turn to the toastmaster for help, who can develop a script for competitions and other nuances. The ransom ceremony consists of a number of competitions and tasks for the groom and witness.

All questions concern the hero of the occasion. If the groom cannot answer any of them, then he must pay a certain amount or present champagne, sweets, etc.

In some cases, the redemption process can be divided into several stages:

Even on the road, the groom may be met by distant relatives and neighbors and demanded to pay for the opportunity to travel and tell the name of the bride.
Close friends of the young woman are waiting for the groom in the courtyard.
Immediately before entering the bride's room, the test is carried out by the witness and bridesmaids.
The task of the groom and the witness is not to deprive anyone and to make some payment.

The main task of all participants in the ransom ceremony is not to delay the process. Otherwise, you may be late for registration.

Bride ransom: a detailed description of the custom

Over the years, the custom of ransoming a bride has changed, its rules have become more regulated, but the meaning of the ritual remains the same - in order to marry the person they like, it was necessary for a young man to present the bride’s parents with a worthy reward for their daughter. A few centuries ago, one could get gold and silver, diamonds, pearls and even land for a bride.

In Rus', this ritual consisted of two parts. In the first part of the ceremony, the groom came to the bride’s house and presented the girl’s parents with all kinds of gifts. Mostly these were chests filled with expensive fabric, jewelry, coins, shirts, and bed linen. In addition, it was customary to give horses and other livestock for the yard of the bride's parents.

After the groom laid out his wealth, the bride’s father and mother, as well as close relatives, decided whether they should give their daughter in marriage to this young man or not. Often, parents who were not happy with the groom’s gift refused to give him their daughter and kicked the man out of the yard.

After the ceremony of receiving gifts, if the parents were satisfied with everything, the second part of the ransom ceremony began - the replacement of the bride. It consisted in the fact that under thick fabric in the parents’ room they hid an old widow, an ugly girl who could not get married, as well as the bride herself. The groom's task was to understand under what kind of cloth his beloved was hiding. The young man had no right to make a mistake in such a ritual, because if he did not correctly guess where exactly his bride was hiding, then he could be forced to marry the woman whom he found under the veil.

Of course, over time, the bride price ritual has softened, and now, if the answer is wrong, the groom still marries his beloved, but in order to get her, he is given various tests.

Another interesting difference between ransom in Rus' and in modern Russia is that this ritual is now performed by bridesmaids, but previously it was performed by the matchmaker and the girl’s parents.

Features of bride price in different countries of the world

Strangely enough, the tradition of ransoming a bride exists not only in Russia, but in almost all countries, regardless of religion and nationality. True, each country has its own specific features of the bride price ritual, here are some of them.

Spanish bridewealth: during this ritual, the groom does not undergo any tests, he does not need to show his position and wealth in front of the bride's parents, his main task is to pay thirty silver coins to his bride before the wedding ceremony. The bride, in turn, puts these coins in a beautiful bag, made and decorated by her hand, and hangs it on her belt to carry silver coins throughout the wedding. This ritual is considered the key to the happiness and wealth of a young family. If the groom is not able to pay his bride thirty silver coins, then she has the right to refuse to marry.

French bride price: unlike bride price in other countries, in France part of the worries on this day falls on the shoulders of the bride. The groom arrives in the morning at his beloved’s house, gives souvenirs to the girl’s parents, after which he goes out with his bride onto the street, where, while the groom is in her house, the friends and relatives of the young man stretch out a corridor of white ribbons, which the bride must cut with scissors in order to clear the way for yourself and the groom.

African bridewealth: In the tribes of Africa there is a custom according to which on the wedding day the groom sends gifts to the bride's house with his representatives. The bride evaluates these gifts and decides whether she will marry her husband or not. If she agrees, representatives go to pick up the grooms and after some time the wedding ceremony begins.

There are many peculiarities of bride ransom in each country, and as a rule, these minor points are often borrowed from one state to another, which is why now there are no strict regulations for bride ransom, but there is an approximate procedure for conducting this ceremony.

Preparing for the bride ransom ceremony

First of all, before you start preparing the bride price scenario, be sure to determine its time for yourself and include it in the wedding ceremony plan. Remember that on average this ritual lasts about 1-2 hours, which means that if the lovers are registered in the registry office at 11 o’clock, then the bride price should begin at 9, or even at 8 in the morning, because this fun event may drag on.

Try not to stretch out the ransom, even if you really want to include as many competitions and tests for your other half as possible. Remember that this is also very stressful for the groom, and besides, it often happens that his guests and relatives can go crazy with the abundance of tasks and start pounding on the bride’s door, pushing away relatives and bridesmaids. It is best to prepare a small but interesting or even thematic scenario for the bride price, even if it lasts 40 minutes, but during it the guests will not get bored, and the groom will not break out in a sweat from the experience.

Be sure to draw up a scenario for the bride price; you can do this yourself, using the advice of our website, or by turning to professional organizers for help. In the second case, it is worth remembering that this pleasure is not cheap, because writing a unique bride ransom script can cost you at least 5,000 rubles.

Carefully select competitions and tests for the ransom ritual. You should not use tasks that require a long time to complete or serious physical activity. In addition, under no circumstances do not use competitions that may somehow infringe on the dignity of your other half, because during the bride price, the groom will be watched not only by guests and relatives, but also by an operator with a video camera.

If in your competitions and tests there are tasks that require some kind of prepared answers, then make these answers only positive so that neither the bride nor the groom gets upset. Most often, such answers are given to the question: “Why are you getting married?” You should not prepare answers to this question with the text: “Because of money”, “Forced” or something similar negative. Remember - the bride price is positive and bright emotions, but not like resentment and tears.

The procedure for ransoming the bride

The bride price consists of three parts:

– The competitive part of the ransom – it takes place in front of the bride’s house and in the entrance, it consists of tasks, competitions and tests, after overcoming which the groom gives gifts and receives some “bonuses”.

– Bride replacement stage – at this stage, the groom already enters the house of his beloved and is taken to the bride’s room, where the “fake” bride is hiding behind a piece of fabric. This could be the bride's friend, brother, cat or dog. The groom’s task at this stage is to complete some particularly difficult task. In addition, at this stage the groom may be asked to confess his love to the bride in front of everyone. If the confession touches the bride, then she is the one who comes out from behind the sheet, and if for some reason the girl does not like the ransom amount or the groom’s words, he may be given a fake bride.

- Banquet part. After the ransom, a light banquet is held at the bride's house, after which the lovers and guests go to the registry office.

There are many options for ransoming the bride and they depend on the style of the ransom, its scenario, as well as the duration of the event. Depending on the chosen buyback option, the necessary accessories and attributes are purchased.

The groom should also prepare for the ransom of his other half, for this he needs:

- sweets - fruit, candies and cookies, it is best to take loose sweets, in fairly large quantities, since during the ransom it is important to reward not only the participants in the wedding ceremony with treats, but also completely random people who may be at your ransom, usually neighbors and residents of the bride's house. This should be done in order to drive away the bad looks and thoughts of envious people from the newlyweds.

– small souvenirs and gifts.

– soft toys, if small children are planned to participate in the ransom.

- alcohol. Strong drinks for the bride price are bought in two types: some are more expensive as a gift to the relatives and parents of the bride, and the second are for direct drinking during this ritual.

- money. In advance, before ransoming the bride, exchange money for small denomination paper bills, and also stock up on foreign currency.

In general, the list of the groom’s “gifts” is prepared in advance when the ransom script is written, this is done by the bride so that her loved one is not taken by surprise and confused during the ritual. Of course, here the bride’s task is not to give him a specific amount of what he must purchase; in this list it is important to make it clear to the groom what may be required of him for some tasks.

Important points of the bride ransom ritual

When organizing the bride ransom and its implementation, there are several issues that are worth paying attention to when organizing this ritual:

Who gets the money that was received from the bride price? In the old days, this amount was given to the bride's parents, or to matchmakers who carried out the ransom. Now there is no clear answer to this question, since according to tradition, the ransom must be taken by the one who carries it out, but in practice, all the money is given to the bride and groom, unless otherwise agreed upon in advance by the bride.

Is it possible to refuse bride price? Of course, unlike in ancient times, when this ritual was an obligatory element of a wedding, now the bride price has lost its power, and many brides refuse it, considering this event unfashionable and outdated.
What to do if the groom gave a small ransom? It also happens that the groom and his retinue simply refuse to participate in the ransom of the bride, and, pushing away their girlfriends and relatives, the girls break into the apartment to get the bride without any tests. Of course, such a moment can greatly upset the bride and even bring her to tears, so if you are an emotional and vulnerable girl, agree in advance with the young man not to do this. If the ransom did not take place and you were conquered by force, the main thing is not to be upset, because your beloved, getting to you through a crowd of friends and relatives, overcame a more difficult test than a standard competition or task.

How to behave as girlfriends

The bridesmaids' task is to turn the traditional bride price by the groom into a fun, well-organized event. It is better not to use poetry at this stage of the celebration; compose a speech in prose with appropriate funny jokes. To do this, follow certain rules:

You should not force the groom and witness to perform not entirely pleasant tasks. For example, eat a peck of salt or drink water with lemon. Competitions must be neutral and realistically feasible. Otherwise, you risk ruining the groom’s mood at the beginning of the wedding.
It should be remembered that the event is designed to last only 15–30 minutes at most.
Try to calculate the time so that a certain period of time remains between the ransom and the trip to the registry office.
The tasks are chosen so that when the groom performs them, the guests can see what is happening, and the photographer can take beautiful photos.
When using pictures in competitions, their angle should be large.
When using rhyming jokes and jokes, they must be read expressively and without hesitation.
In the case where the number of guests at the wedding is impressive, you should not invite everyone to the ransom. There will be enough witnesses, girlfriends, friends, close relatives.
It is necessary to prepare for the ceremony in advance. Place posters and other attributes.
Distribute responsibilities correctly so that no one gets bored.

Distribution of roles for all participants

Let us now understand the role of each of the participants in the bride ransom ceremony:

The groom must complete the tasks offered to him. Regardless of the success of the passage, he treats the bridesmaids to champagne and sweets.
Friends or brothers of the young man help him successfully overcome all the trials, give the groom their money if he does not have enough cash to pay the ransom.
The young sisters, girlfriends and witnesses are responsible for drawing up the ransom script. They conduct tests, not allowing the young man to see the young woman until all the quests are completed.
The bride can take part in drawing up the script for the event. She suggests which questions are best to ask, for example about personal dates for the newlyweds, clothing and shoe sizes, etc. The young woman waits for her betrothed in a clearly designated place.
The bride's parents organize a buffet and competitions that pave the way for the groom to meet his bride.
The parents of the young man help their son complete all the tasks or make light snacks for everyone involved.

What to do and say to the mother, sister, brother of the bride

For the bride's parents, there are many challenges on the wedding day. It is in their house that the bride ransom takes place and the house is full of guests. Concerns begin with the bride's outfit. Her mother and friends can help her.

Next, the parents meet the guests after the ransom and escort them to the room where the buffet table is organized. Serving it is the task of the mother of the bride, who is helped by her bridesmaids. Treating guests with champagne is the task of witnesses. Traditionally, parents do not take part in the ransom ceremony.

But if the bride has younger sisters or brothers, then they can actively bargain for her with the groom. The girlfriends provide for this in the script. The main task of parents after completing the ransom before going to the registry office is to bless the newlyweds. Before the ceremony begins, guests are asked to go outside, where they form a kind of living corridor.

After the bride and groom have been blessed, they go outside, and the girl’s mother showers the newlyweds with wheat seeds, coins and candies for their rich, well-fed and sweet future life.

Getting ready for the bride and groom

The last hours of a bachelor's life are spent getting ready. Professional makeup, beautiful hairstyle, snow-white photo - the bride is almost ready to go to the registry office. The groom does not lag behind the young woman - his shirt and vest are buttoned up with all the buttons, the tie emphasizes the severity of the outfit and the triumph of the moment. The videographer captured how the bridesmaids prepared funny tricks for the groom, how the father and groomsmen decorated the wedding limousine. The video will come in handy when a specialist edits a film for a married couple.

How to behave for the groom and his friends

The ransom scenario is worked out in advance, and the bridesmaids must also think through the groom’s behavior in advance. In any case, it must be prepared if the groom needs to say any words during the bidding process.

Basically, various tests are prepared for the groom, and he, in turn, performs them and answers the questions in monosyllables. You can deal with this without much difficulty. The bidding begins with the organizers; a matchmaker on the groom’s side may participate.

When asked by his girlfriends why the groom came to them, the young man can simply answer in monosyllables, “For the bride!” It is difficult for the groom himself to prepare for the ransom, since he often does not know the script in advance. The witness can only partially acquaint him with certain points. Therefore, the young man has to improvise on the go.

And since basically all the questions concern the bride, you need to ask her in advance about some moments from her childhood, shoe size, favorite lipstick color, etc.

Let's present a list of the main areas that the groom may encounter at ransom:

Prove your love. Here you can prepare a romantic story about the love of newlyweds to make your girlfriends feel emotional.
Present your strengths. Usually this is the answer to the question of what the groom is ready to provide for the bride in the future . Here you need to praise yourself, and try not to laugh. To make the task easier, a witness can do this.
How the groom will spend time with the bride during their life together. In this regard, the groom proves that the bride will not be bored with him. And you can prove it by performing a song or dance.
Important dates. Here you will have to prepare seriously, since they will ask not only about the day you met, but also about the first day of your first kiss, your first trip to the cinema, and so on. Usually men don’t pay attention to such little things.
The bride is the best and unique. In this direction, you need to collect a list of affectionate and tender words about your beloved.

Since the groom arrives not alone, but with a retinue of friends and close relatives, it is necessary to think in advance what to say to them.

Firstly, they can actively participate in the auction, but not allow themselves too much.

Secondly, assist the groom, suggest the right words, ideas for completing the task. The groom's main assistant at the wedding is the witness. He can actively answer questions and even replace him in performing any competitions.

Usually the groom is lost from excitement, so the witness should always be ready to come to the rescue of his friend. And if the girlfriends get too carried away and demand an exorbitant price for the ransom, then the witness can actively bargain and bring down the price.

The ransom ceremony will go off with a bang if it is performed in any style or dedicated to a specific theme.

Preparing the wedding procession

After submitting the application and determining the wedding date, you can think about the wedding procession. After all, it is very important to choose cars so that they not only correspond to the chosen wedding theme, but also do not exceed the cost of your capabilities.

If you are planning a luxurious wedding, then it is best for you to find foreign cars of the same color and model. Such a motorcade should be led by a limousine of the same color. If the scope of the wedding is not so large, then you can limit yourself to identical domestic cars. Well, if your wedding is on a small budget, then you can get by with the cars that your friends and work colleagues have. In this case, it is enough to simply decorate the cars beautifully and equally.

Usually parents, or more precisely fathers, of newlyweds deal with the issue of choosing cars. They must accurately determine the required quantity and think over decorations suitable for these machines. You can contact special transport agencies, but it is worth considering that in the summer and autumn, when the number of weddings increases, it is difficult to find identical cars there. This means you need to take care of the wedding procession in advance.

How to meet the groom - what to put on the table

As already mentioned, after the ransom is completed, the bride’s parents invite guests to a buffet.

This tradition is mainly connected with the fact that there is still a long process ahead, consisting of a wedding and a photo shoot.

Small sandwiches and canapés are placed on the table so that they fit entirely into the mouth. Since the photographer is working all the time and the set table may be caught in the photo lens, it is necessary to think in advance about the technique of decorating the dishes and removing unnecessary interior items.

A large amount of alcohol at a buffet table is inappropriate. It is enough to organize champagne, which will slightly lift the mood and liberate the guests.

Here is another version of the bride ransom scenario:

The bride price ritual is a traditional procedure at a wedding, but, nevertheless, not all newlyweds consider it appropriate. This is explained by the fact that not all guests behave adequately during competitions and bidding, sometimes forcing the groom to do unrealistic things. They believe that the ransom can be replaced, for example, by a beautiful meeting between the bride and groom. Do you think it’s worth paying tribute to traditions or introducing new creative ideas into the wedding scenario?

History of the wedding procession

Nowadays, having a wedding while observing all Russian traditions is very difficult. However, when decorating a car with ribbons, it is worth thinking about why they are doing it. After all, the custom of decorating a wedding procession with flowers has come to us a long time ago.

The wedding procession or wedding train, as it was called in those days, was decorated with ribbons and bells. Our ancestors were very afraid of evil spirits and, to scare them away, they hung ribbons and bells on carts. Believing that developing ribbons and ringing bells will scare away spirits and protect the young.

There were other beliefs that were necessarily observed. So the number of carts included in the wedding train had to exceed three and be an odd number. And the road along which the groom was traveling to the bride was a bypass.

The bride and groom rode to the church in different carriages, and after the wedding they rode in one. Before setting off, the cart was thoroughly inspected to find and remove items that could cause damage. The road from the church was also long. First, it was necessary to drive around the city, visiting all the holy places in the city. This is where we got the tradition of laying flowers at monuments and visiting churches after registering a marriage.

The tradition of wedding ransom in Rus'

This interesting custom has come down to us from ancient times. Slavic youths tried to choose a bride from another tribe. At first, we simply had to win back the girl . Later, the violent path was replaced by peaceful negotiations and exchange for valuable things, for example, furs, precious stones.

"Wedding ransom" by Konstantin Trutovsky (1881)

In Rus', ransom was a test for the future husband, a test of his ingenuity, dexterity and generosity. The ritual itself began from the moment the groom arrived at the bride’s house. The native girls created various obstacles: they could block the road with a huge log that needed to be sawed.

There were often fist fights that took place between relatives of the newlyweds. In addition to strength, the groom had to show intelligence and resourcefulness : he guessed riddles, sang, danced. All tests were designed to ensure that the betrothed revealed his positive qualities.

The groom always showed generosity : he treated the bride’s relatives and village children with sweets, and brought gifts to the girl herself.

How is the ritual carried out nowadays?

There are quite a lot of options for ransom scenarios today. You can find them on the Internet or even create an individual script to order. However, certain points are repeated in each of them.

Let's look at how this usually happens:

Meeting of the groom and his friends by the witness or bridesmaids.
Explanation of the conditions of the “game”.
Carrying out tasks by the groom.
Payback in case of incorrect completion of a task.
Upon completion of all tasks, permission to meet the bride.
Small buffet.

Usually the ransom is organized by girlfriends or close relatives of the young woman . They prepare competitions, riddles, and all the paraphernalia necessary for them in advance. Everyone can participate in the action itself: the groom and his retinue are the most active participants, the rest are assistants or spectators .

Where to spend it?

Traditionally, the ceremony was held in the bride's house. Now many continue to follow this custom, meeting the groom on the threshold of the newlywed's house. However, this is not the only place where a ransom can be arranged.

When deciding on the location of the event, do not forget about its festive decor. You can use ribbons, balloons, fresh or artificial flowers, photographs of the newlyweds.

Where can you conduct a ransom other than at home?

In the fresh air . The picturesque corner of the park will allow you to organize the action itself in an interesting way and take beautiful photographs. The bride can be hidden in a cute gazebo.
On the territory of a country house . The house does not have to belong to the bride; you can simply rent it or ask friends to provide a house for a while.
In a spacious hotel room . Often, young people book a room for a photo shoot, including for getting ready for the bride before the wedding. The ransom can also be carried out there. You just need to check with the administration whether they will be against such an event.
In the mall . Original girlfriends can make a ransom in the form of a quest for the groom, forcing him to walk through different departments in search of his betrothed.

How to prepare for the groom?

To prevent the ransom from turning into a real torment for the groom, he needs to think through some points in advance .

Check with your girlfriends whether you will need any specific items for the sale.
Stock up on sweets, chocolate, champagne, fruit.
Carry cash with you. It can be bills, coins, antique or even fake money.
Prepare informatively: remember important dates together, names of relatives, clothing sizes, lover’s shoes, etc.
You can prepare tips with affectionate names and characteristics of your beloved.
Find out the exact time when he should arrive for ransom and its approximate duration.
Bring with you creative and resourceful friends who will not get confused in any competition.

Popular competitions

No matter how you look at it, it’s still difficult to come up with original tasks for the groom. All of them are, in one way or another, variations of the original competitions, so if you wish, you can prepare for any tricks on the part of the bride’s friends. At least one well-known competition occurs at every ransom, so this event will not be covered in absolute darkness for the hero of the occasion.

There are several tasks that are especially favorite among bridesmaids.

Chamomile . This is a classic in almost every buyout. Girls cut out a flower with individual petals from paper or buy a ready-made one. Each piece of paper has a number written on it, and the groom has to guess what it means. For example, girls can choose for the task the length of the bride’s heel, the age of the future mother-in-law, the number of flowers that the groom gave to his beloved for the first time, etc.
Compliments. On each step of the stairs, pieces of paper are laid out on which one letter is written. The groom needs to walk up the stairs and at each step affectionately call the bride by the letter he stepped on.
Footprints. Paper footprints are pasted on the landing, stairs and walls. The groom needs to walk along them without touching the free floor. The trick is that to complete this task the young man must be picked up by his friends.
Questions. At each step, the host asks the groom a question related to the bride or her family, most often these are dates and numbers. For example, you can ask about the mother-in-law's birthday, the color of the father-in-law's eyes, or how many children the bride wants.

The groom has to show himself at the ransom from different sides - strong, brave, sensitive, romantic, and smart. Not everyone manages to pass all the competitions without preparation and avoid ransom, therefore, if the hero of the occasion wants to show himself in all his glory, then he needs to make some efforts during the pre-wedding preparations.

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Beautiful and delicious red velvet wedding cake with white shades

Tips for organizers

The success of the event will largely depend on the preparation, and therefore on the bridesmaids organizing the ransom. What is important for them to take into account when deciding on the action scenario?

The venue should be considered taking into account the aesthetic properties of the room. An old entrance with numerous inscriptions on the walls will not be the best option. An alternative could be ransom on the street.
There is no need to stretch out the ransom over time. 20-30 minutes will be more than enough.
Options for scenarios can be found on the Internet, but it will be more interesting to adapt them to suit your couple.
There is no need to get sophisticated in competitions and torment the groom. It is not advisable to offer tasks related to serious physical activity, drinking alcohol, or trying low-edible foods.
The ransom should not turn into an outright money grab.
The personal qualities of the groom should also be taken into account. A shy person should not be offered tasks of an ambiguous nature.
It is necessary to think over alternative options for competitions and be prepared for unforeseen circumstances.

What to replace the ransom with?

Bride price is a tradition that many couples adhere to. However, it is not strictly mandatory. The newlyweds have the right to decide for themselves whether they need this action. Time flies very quickly on your wedding day. If you are not adherents of ancient customs, then it is better to spend precious minutes on a beautiful photo shoot together.

There are also interesting modern alternatives . What can replace the classic buyout?

In an original way, the “reverse ransom” (or “groom’s ransom”) takes place, when the bride is asked to overcome certain obstacles in order to get to her lover.
"Parallel" buyback . The bride and groom perform tasks simultaneously, demonstrating their best qualities and proving that they are worthy of each other.
Quest for the groom . This option will require more time both for preparation and implementation. It is associated with the movement of the groom and his retinue around the city, district, shopping center, searching for clues and completing tasks.
Romantic meeting in nature. Young people can agree in advance to meet in a certain place, for example, on a park bench. For such a meeting, we recommend inviting a photographer and/or videographer to capture the event.
Meeting through the window . Particularly impatient and brave grooms can try to bypass obstacles in this way and get straight to their beloved. You shouldn't show excessive heroism if the bride lives on a high floor!

Is it necessary to have a buffet?

Traditionally, after the lovers have united, guests are offered a small treat. You shouldn’t have a feast, but light snacks in the form of sandwiches, canapés, fruit, wine and champagne will be very appropriate.

The groom and his friends and the rest of the ransom participants may get hungry, so you should not neglect organizing a buffet table. In addition, for everyone it will be a little respite before an important event.

Of course, if you choose an alternative redemption option, for example, a meeting in the park or a quest, then the buffet can be omitted.

Examples from weddings (photos)

Below in the photographs you will see how buybacks usually take place (both traditional and unusual options):