Matchmaking on the part of the bride. What should I say? Our ancestors considered marriage a necessary and extremely important matter. The sacrament of marriage was shrouded in all sorts of rituals and ceremonies so that the life of the young people would be long and happy. Today everything has become much simpler. But for those who want to keep some traditions and organize the meeting of parents in a fun and interesting way, DreamBride prepared “Matchmaking Scenarios from the Groom in Poems”, and in this article we will talk about matchmaking on the part of the bride in verse.
The arrival of the groom and his parents at the bride's house was called an arrangement. The guests were received widely with all honors. The groom and his relatives spoke allegorically about the purpose of their visit, using various images.
For example,
You have a product, we have a merchant, you have a girl, we have a fine fellow.
We have a key, you have a lock, We have a bumblebee, you have a flower.
Can matchmakers drink alcoholic beverages?
The groom's side is not only allowed to drink strong drinks, but also must. To refuse an offering from the hosts means to express distrust and disrespect for the receiving party. Therefore, when choosing matchmakers, the groom should take into account an important point. The main thing in this matter is without fanaticism, everything should be in moderation. It may be worth discussing in advance with the bride's parents the drinks that should be on the table. Many people prefer low-alcohol drinks to strong ones. A variant of an ostentatious “glass”, drunk for show, is possible, because it is better to discuss the organization of a wedding celebration sober, after all, the purpose of the event is not celebration.
In order not to jinx it...
In such a serious matter, where would we be without superstitions and traditions? Fast days - Wednesday and Friday - were unofficial days off from all wedding related matters. And, of course, it is impossible to even think about marriage troubles on the 13th.
Fearing prying eyes, they went to get married after sunset and drove up through the back yard. Even if they refuse, you won’t be ashamed: in the dark you can’t tell who went where. When setting out for a positive answer, one should remain silent and not engage in conversation along the way. When you approach the desired door, touch the doorframe with your shoulder, and only then knock.
Upon entering the house, cross yourself at the image. A custom that was followed in Rus' not only before the wedding. While the matchmaker was talking, the groom's relatives tried to discreetly touch the table leg.
You have a product...
The bride before the matchmakers is humility itself. She remained silent, changing her outfit three times. She gave me tea and walked around. A smart and beautiful woman should ideally also be a craftswoman. Showing off your talents in front of matchmakers is good form. During the tests, the future wife had to amaze the guests.
For example, lacemakers were considered promising brides and demonstrated sleight of hand by throwing bobbins. And the craftswomen who made the Filimonov toy or haze were reputed to be rich brides. Girls began to sculpt clay figurines at the age of seven, and the money from their sale went towards a dowry. In general, “choose a bride not in a round dance, but in the garden” or while doing needlework.
They discussed the girl, even if they knew her well, out of politeness - beyond the threshold. We went to a meeting in the hallway or on the porch. The future mother-in-law brought the groom a glass of drink. If he drinks, there will be a wedding, but if he only takes a sip, you shouldn’t even hope. Only the matchmakers at the threshold, the women on the bride’s side tried to tie the handles and poles together - to attract good luck in the matter.
Konstantin Makovsky. Down the aisle. 1890 Nikolai Pimomenko. They got me in marriage. 1896Pavel Fedotov. Major's matchmaking. 1848
“Don’t choose the groom, the bride - choose the matchmaker”
Eloquence, dexterity, courtesy. The ability to describe, captivate, charm. A long list of matchmaker virtues and talents is the key to the success of an important enterprise. Extol the merits of the bride or groom, tactfully keep silent about the shortcomings... If the groom unexpectedly comes to the bride - catch up, overtake, provide a worthy reception.
The matchmaker is the center of business and advertising information. She thoroughly knew the entire population of the surrounding area - single and marriageable, and was aware of material issues and intricate traditions for the benefit of the cause. For example, when going to matchmaking, tie the legs of a chair with a sash so that the wedding “goes together better.”
Preparation of a traditional ceremony
According to ancient beliefs, an unpaired number is chosen for matchmaking, as well as a specific day - Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday . What you need to do before going to the bride's parents:
- Choose matchmakers. These people should praise the groom. It’s somehow inappropriate for parents to do this, but it’s just right for relatives and godparents.
- Present. In this case, they are guided by financial capabilities. Usually they buy two bouquets - for the girl and for the future mother-in-law. The father is presented with alcoholic drinks and a wallet. You can find out about the preferences of the parents from the chosen one. Matchmakers can give fruits, sweets, cake.
- Choose a suit. A neat appearance is required as standard. If a classic suit turns out to be too inappropriate, you can simply wear a shirt and trousers. You should not go to matchmaking in jeans and a T-shirt.
The preparatory process does not take much time. All this can be done in a couple of days. You need to come to the bride on a pre-agreed day.
Matchmaking is an ancient Slavic tradition. The concepts of “matchmaker”, “matchmaker”, “matchmaker”
Before we find out who a matchmaker and a matchmaker are, let's remember who a matchmaker is. Many people no longer remember what the difference is between a “matchmaker” and a “matchmaker.” It’s worth starting with an explanation of these concepts.
A matchmaker (if we are talking about a woman) is a person who is professionally involved in arranging a marriage. Sometimes they not only helped to match the bride, but also selected candidates.
Matchmaker is the mother of one of the spouses in relation to the mother of the other.
But the meaning of the word “matchmaker” is a little more complicated. A matchmaker is both a “matchmaker” and a relative of one of the spouses in relation to the relatives of the other. Such an address by the parents of the newlyweds to each other is a sign of respect and goodwill. Etymologically, the word “matchmakers” and the word “their own” have the same basis. And in the tradition of the Slavic peoples, such an address is a symbol of the fusion of two peoples.
Carrying out the ritual
If you decide to follow traditions and do everything as it should be, it is recommended to study in advance information about how to get married in Rus'.
Bride's wedding
In some cases, at matchmaking, the groom's parents see the bride for the first time or for the second time in their lives. Of course, they will begin to observe their future daughter-in-law and evaluate her qualities. Previously, the girl was forced to demonstrate her skills, abilities, abilities. Nowadays, shows happen differently. The guy’s parents look at his behavior, family relationships, and attire.
It is recommended to behave modestly and politely. From the outfit, choose something elegant, neat, modest. It is advisable to prepare something yourself so that you can “show off” later.
Dowry
When young people decide to get married, the question immediately arises of where they will live. The ideal option is a separate living space. In this case, the newlyweds need to buy a lot. Some are bought by the boy's parents, some by the girls. Purchases made by the bride are usually called a dowry. Often these are household appliances, dishes, and bedding. The assortment depends solely on the financial capabilities of the family. It also happens that the father and mother of the bride give an apartment as a dowry, and the groom makes repairs there.
Invitation and conversation at the table
Parents should greet guests. If there are brothers and sisters in the house, you can organize a short, cool competition for the groom. This is usually done at the entrance to the house. In the old days, a whole show unfolded. The matchmakers exchanged remarks and performed certain rituals. In a modern intelligent family, they limit themselves to a good-natured greeting and polite treatment. They invite guests to the table and have a pleasant conversation. During the conversation, the topic of wedding is brought up. If the celebration is organized by the bride and groom at their own expense, then this moment is missed.
Around and around
It was not supposed to talk about the upcoming marriage directly, so as not to jinx it. So they cast a “shadow on the fence.” The bride is either a “little garden” or a “little goose”... for which there was enough imagination - just to confuse the “evil spirits”. The matchmaker sat opposite the door and placed her feet on the floorboard leading to the exit from the house so that the matchmaking would be successful.
Parents, even if they were not averse to marrying off their daughter, at first certainly refused. The first matchmaking - “request”, as a rule, was left unanswered. They were buying time to get to know the groom, and suddenly a better one would be found, having found out about the matchmaking. The matchmaker’s task is to “persuade”, but not to overdo it: “They don’t give Christ away for the sake of brides.”
It was also not accepted to refuse directly. The excuse should have looked weighty: they say, the daughter has not grown up yet, but if you really don’t have time to invent excuses, they simply returned the wedding loaf brought by the guests untouched.
Claudius Lebedev. Boyar wedding. 1883
Nikolay Pymonenko. Matchmakers. 1882
Nikolai Petrov. Bride's viewing. 1861
The role of matchmakers at a wedding from the bride's side
Matchmaking of the bride and groom
Matchmaking in ancient times was eagerly awaited. The girl knew that at any moment there could be a knock on her door. Nowadays, before their visit, the bride's matchmakers help her parents prepare a delicious dinner, and according to the old tradition, the groom's parents brought treats to the house.
- When guests appear on the doorstep, matchmakers do not immediately invite them into the house, finding out the purpose of the visit. Everything is fun and with jokes.
- After clarification of the circumstances, guests are invited to the house. The bride's matchmaker "up the price" by talking about the girl's merits.
- After the matchmakers agreed among themselves, the bride was invited . She had to walk around, make tea for everyone and perform other simple actions at the request of those gathered.
The future wife prepares tea for the matchmakers
. What did the matchmaker do at the wedding on the groom's side? Previously, the main role of a girl in a family was to give birth to children, so the matchmaker had to guess how many children the future wife would bring to her husband. The more she assumed, the greater the likelihood that the bride's parents would agree. Nowadays, this whole process can take place rather in a comic form , because most often the girl already knows the groom’s parents before the wedding. Matchmakers on one side and the other must be able to express thoughts beautifully and smooth out rough edges when communicating between two families, if they arise.
Matchmakers during a feast
- At the festive feast, matchmakers make sure that guests do not drink a lot of alcohol and do not allow them to “stay too long.”
- They are the first to come out to dance, attracting the rest of the guests.
- To prevent elderly guests from getting bored at the holiday, the matchmakers are the first to sing familiar Russian folk songs.
- Even if there is a toastmaster at the wedding, the matchmakers can still prepare several fun competitions.
- When the time comes to “steal” the bride , matchmakers on the part of the future wife take an active part in this. They help hide her, after which the groom’s matchmakers are involved in the ceremony, who suggest where it is easier to find the bride. The wife's matchmakers can help them in this by saying “hot” or “cold.”
Just a few years ago, wedding preparations took a long time and were interesting. We visited the bride in advance, met the parents, and organized songs and dances. Currently, the matchmaking process is simplified and takes place on the wedding day. You may want to follow the example of your ancestors and carefully prepare for the upcoming celebration - with matchmaking, weddings and other interesting and important rituals. If there is no time left for this, then you can organize one common and beautiful holiday. The most important thing is that the preparation is joyful and interesting - then the end result will exceed all expectations.
Script in a modern style, with humor
The scope for creativity in this case is boundless. The humorous scenario involves usually costumed action, which retains certain elements of the classical ceremony.
With humor, you can carry out a ritual in national costumes, and a dramatization of a literary work, a popular movie, even the kidnapping of a bride with subsequent searches and demands from her parents for her hand in marriage in exchange for a miraculous rescue.
The main thing is to rehearse in advance, carefully learn the words written for each character, and try to play the assigned role as authentically as possible.
Right answers
As a rule, the scenario of what to say to the groom when buying the bride is prepared by the witness.
If, instead of one boyfriend, the hero of the occasion chose several girlfriends in the Western style, then they think through it together.
However, no one forbids several guests to gather together and jointly come up with interesting competitions and accompaniments for them.
In this case, the script is usually drawn up in such a way that the hosts of the ransom have the most words. The groom can only answer in monosyllables in the right places, which he can do without difficulty, since in general the texts are of the same type. For example, when the hero of the occasion arrives at his beloved’s house, and her girlfriends, in a speech of several paragraphs, ask why he came, then he should answer simply - “For the bride.”
It is difficult to prepare for the ransom, since the groom does not know in advance which scenario the organizers will choose. In addition, they can change the classic text. It is expected that during the test the hero of the occasion will prove himself as an improviser - he will be able to find the appropriate words and pass all competitions with a bang.
In general, you need to prepare yourself for saying the following things.
Expert advice. No one will require long speeches - after all, the main goal is to pass the tests and entertain the guests. Despite this, you need to prepare for what to say to the groom at the bride price, especially if the bride price will be filmed by a videographer. This is especially true for young men who have difficulty speaking in public.
Basic answers
The bride's ransom, and the scenario of what the groom's side says, usually begins and is built with the presenters asking why the guests came to them.
Instead of a simple answer “For the bride,” the groom can say the following words: “Hello, I haven’t seen you for a long time. I came for the bride, for my beloved, I want to make her my wife. I’m ready to complete any task, go through fire, water and copper pipes, just to be with my destiny.”
Such an answer will certainly discourage and delight the presenters, and the entire ransom will take place in a positive way.
For the rest, the groom will have to improvise. You will probably need your own text for the following points:
Improvisation in the style of eternal love for your future wife is the best thing to say to the groom when buying the bride. The words must come from the heart, then everyone, including the speaker himself, will enjoy it. Preparing for such an event is not easy, so you need to keep in mind that you may have to compose a romantic text on the go.
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