Modern newlyweds can organize a wedding to their taste, without following old traditions, but some customs are still observed unchanged. These include the ritual of lighting a family hearth - it requires a text and a good script. After all, this is one of the touching wedding rituals that you need to try to carry out impeccably so that they are remembered as warm memories.
The role of traditions at the celebration
Each culture has its own customs associated with the marriage process.
They began to emerge from the moment when humanity just began its history, that is, during the Ancient World. Gradually, traditions changed as they adapted to modern realities, but the basis always remained the same.
Many customs were forgotten over time because they lost their relevance. Previously, they were called upon to attract the blessing of higher powers to a married couple, since from an early age children were instilled with a belief in the supernatural. Some traditions protected newlyweds from evil spirits, others attracted good luck, happiness, strong and healthy offspring.
Gradually, traditions became a kind of canons - immutable rules that must be followed in order to be considered a pious person. Now these are simply symbolic actions that are performed as a tribute to the past.
Most newlyweds don't even think about the fact that couples did the same thing at weddings hundreds and thousands of years ago. Most often, traditions are followed because it is customary, but usually no one is interested in how and why such orders were established.
In other cases, customs are observed at stylized weddings. If the bride and groom organize a celebration in the spirit of a certain country, they can complement the surroundings with its traditions to make it more harmonious and effective. There is nothing wrong with this - young people have simply become more practical and less superstitious, as the modern world demands.
Interesting!
Wedding toasts: beautiful and short, original and funny
I congratulate you on your wedding day, I wish you to live until old age. Together you can go gray, go bald, go to the store, groan. In general, live happily and you love each other!
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I wish you, spouses: Always be happy, May you miss each other, But never be together.
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So that love would prevail, Life would be pure syrup, Everything would be decided without a scandal, Without a “rolling pin to the forehead” technique!
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I wish you understanding, Many bright, long years, May your wishes come true, And may love give you light!
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Let everyday life not bother you, May everything work out well! May your marriage only prosper, May the children laugh in the house!
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So that in joy, not in sorrow, you would divide everything in half, so that not in poverty, in wealth, you would love each other!
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And over time, someone's legs began to spank around the house, And two, or better yet more, babies chirped happily.
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So that on holidays and on weekdays it will be a joy to be near you, so that everything you dream about will certainly come true,
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So that everything is in order And with money, and not only, So that it is always sweet for you, Well, but today it is bitter!
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Congratulations on your happy day! May you be lucky in everything, have a house in the Caribbean and a large foreign currency account.
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Let diamonds and sapphires sway in the ears of your beloved and let your beloved live like a padishah.
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We have made a lot of wishes, you will have to accept everything: We have given you a task; you must carry it out.
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You found each other in the big world, Among the fragments of destinies and passions. Your love united your hearts, So be happy together now!
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Through a snowstorm and a mad blizzard, And the waves of life, the whirlwind of life, Let souls touch each other In such love, it’s not scary to grow old.
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Now there are two of you, two wings, And one Destiny for both, Fly up, loving, rejoicing, Dancing your waltz of love together.
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Congratulations on your bright wedding, putting the ring on your finger... You know that in the vast world, heaven has united you.
Peculiarities
There are rituals that have survived to this day, practically unchanged. It is noteworthy that, in different variations, the ritual of lighting the family hearth at a wedding originated in several cultures. Even in some African tribes there was a similar tradition, which is still revered.
During this custom, the families of the newlyweds bring fire from their homes to theirs to unite and help their children create a family nest.
It is believed to symbolize the warmth, prosperity and happiness that arises in the marital home. Parents pass on their own wisdom to their children so that the fire in their lives never goes out.
Among the ancient Slavs, the family hearth was lit on the wedding day, and the wife’s task was to maintain the fire throughout her married life. This is no less important attribute of a wedding celebration, like a kiss after the official wedding ceremony. Parents give their children parting words and advice on how to make relationships strong and warm.
Previously, this tradition was carried out literally, but now not every home even has a fireplace, so it is difficult to bring fire. Most often it is replaced with candles - regular, decorative or even scented. They can be installed on a table, in a special stand with holders located at different levels, or in a fake stylized fireplace.
Interesting! The newlyweds' candle, which was used during this ceremony, is carefully kept in the house throughout their married life.
It is lit when the fire of a relationship cools down, or one of the spouses ceases to fully trust the other. Some even advise walking around your home with this lit candle on every wedding anniversary to protect your family from harm.
Ritual of lighting the hearth
In order for the ceremony to take place, it is worth knowing when it is best to perform it. Please note that it would be completely unacceptable to organize a ceremony at the very beginning of the entire celebration. It is necessary that each ritual be performed in a designated place.
Be sure to discuss with the wedding event host when the ritual will take place. In most cases, he is given a place at the end of the celebration. This is often before the wedding cake comes out.
The meaning is that first the groom bought the bride, then they registered the relationship in the registry office . Afterwards, it’s worth entertaining the guests and young spouses.
This is interesting: When and how is it correct to break glasses at a wedding?
Well, when all the points are completed, you can move on to the lyrical part. Young spouses are waiting for their parents to hand over to them a family hearth filled with warmth, kindness and love.
Scenario options
Usually the ceremony is held at the very end of the wedding banquet . The scenario for lighting the family hearth at a wedding is thought out in advance. And according to it, this can only be followed by festive fireworks, if provided. It is important to decide in advance who exactly will light the family hearth.
There are the following options for the rite of lighting a family hearth.
- The mothers of the bride and groom carry their candles to the candle of their children, which is held by the bride, and pass the fire to the newlyweds. They can hold a candle together. This option is considered traditional, since it was women who were trusted to carry and preserve family happiness. Men, who act as the creators and protectors of the family, only light the fire a few minutes before the start of the ceremony.
- Candles are lit and brought to the “family hearth” by both parents. Mom and dad on each side hold their candle together to demonstrate the unity and harmony that reigns in their home.
- If parents are not present at the wedding, then the godparents of the bride and groom or close relatives or friends light the candles. The main thing in this case is to warn the toastmaster so that he changes the text to fit the desired scenario.
After the impromptu family hearth is lit, the newlyweds walk around with it to everyone present. If you wish, you can distribute your own candles to all guests, which will be lit from the family hearth . If it is assumed that this ritual will be filmed or videoed, then you need to select interesting candlesticks or stands for each.
Touching wedding toasts from the groom's parents in their own words
Congratulations, our children, Always be joyful, May the love under your roof never dry up.
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Let kindness, peace and laughter reign in the family from now on, Be happy, dear ones, and live your best life!
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There is joy in the heart, there is a lump in the throat, And words are lost, Son, you have become a groom, Your dreams are coming true.
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We congratulate the young couple on their wedding, we wish you happiness and love, children.
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So that they live together, give way to each other, So that you don’t forget us, parents.
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We wish happiness to the New family, May love warm your home throughout your life.
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Congratulations, dear ones, you are now one family. Let the joys of the earth brighten the days of your life.
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Respect each other, Divide everything in half, Take care, adore, And give us grandchildren.
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Our beloved children! We really want to wish that in the whole wide world, you will not be happier!
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Take care of your feelings, Let trouble pass you by. The main thing is to live together, And we will always help you!
How to choose candles
For parents, ordinary thin and long candles (not church candles) are most often selected, since with this shape it will be convenient to light the newlyweds’ family hearth with them. In this case, it is better to refuse figured and flavored options, since they will attract unnecessary attention and at the same time create problems during the performance of the ritual. The ceremony will be even more touching and symbolic if the parents still have candles from their own wedding.
The most beautiful and richly decorated candle is selected for the newlyweds. It can be decorative or flavored. Some wedding salons offer to decorate a candle for a fee in accordance with the general concept of the celebration, but newlyweds can do this themselves. In this case, the decor of an impromptu family hearth will be individual and symbolic.
For guests, you can choose both long and thin candles and small round ones that can be held in your palms. After the ceremony, friends and relatives can do with the candles at their own discretion - some throw them away when they have burned out, while others leave them as souvenirs. The lighting of the family hearth at a wedding looks beautiful and romantic on video. Therefore, the ceremony is definitely worth filming.
Parable of the Three Young Men
When telling this parable at a wedding banquet, after making a speech, you can invite the newlyweds to express their guesses about the reason for choosing the girl.
“Three young men fell in love with one beauty. And everyone thought about how to win her heart. The first one took a pearl from the bottom of the sea and gave it to her. “Choose me,” he said. “You see how brave I am.” The second gave the girl the skin of the lion he had killed and said: “You see how brave and strong I am. Choose me".
And the third young man wandered for a long time through the fields and forests in search of something that could surprise the girl. And then he came across beautiful flowers. He presented a bouquet to his beloved with the words: “When I saw these flowers, I remembered you, but even they cannot compare with your beauty and grace.”
The girl chose the third young man because he was the only one who thought not about himself, but about her. Dear newlyweds, never forget about each other!”
What words do they say
The toastmaster who leads the wedding should accompany the lighting of the family hearth with poetry or prose. You can tell a parable about a family hearth. An example is below.
“One day happiness decided to leave one house. Nobody knew why this happened, but there was no other way out. However, before such a responsible decision, happiness decided to fulfill one dream of each family member. The wife asked for a warm fur coat, the daughter wanted to marry a wealthy man, and the son lacked a faithful horse. Happiness easily fulfilled all wishes and, just before leaving, asked what the owner of the house wanted. The man thought and replied that he wished that the fire in the family hearth, warming his loved ones, would never go out. Happiness appreciated the care and foresight of the owner of the house, fulfilled his wish and remained in the family, since true happiness can only live where the protected family hearth does not fade away.”
Parents should also choose the words to light the family hearth at the wedding. They give their children parting words. You should not repeat the words of congratulations that were heard during the main part of the banquet - it is better to stock up on several versions of texts for different stages of the celebration.
Moms and dads give the bride and groom valuable advice based on their own experience so that the newly-made spouses can maintain their happiness and carry it through many years.
The newlyweds themselves, as a rule, are silent most of the time, and only occasionally, and at the end of the speech, do the parents insert words of gratitude.
At this stage, the bride and groom are expected to memorize valuable tips so that they can later apply them in their married life if necessary.
Interesting!
4 basic rules for storing a family hearth
Reading Time: 4 min.
Greetings, friends. My name is Alexey Ushakov, I am 37 years old. I am a happy husband and father. I want to share with you my rules that I developed during my family life.
I met my wife when I was 2 years old. We went to the same kindergarten, then studied in the same class, then dated for several years, and finally legalized our relationship. This year we celebrated 14 years of marriage, although we have known each other all our lives.
There were different situations in our lives. But I am grateful to God for giving me wisdom and strength to go through all the tests, save my family and be happy today. I really want my experience to help many create happy families.
1 Rule: Be one
In the Bible, God clearly defined this rule regarding husband and wife:
Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife; and they will be one flesh. Gen.2:22-24
If you have already chosen your soulmate and voluntarily got married, then you should treat her as a part of yourself. You must understand that you are now one. That your spouse now comes first, and only then your parents or friends.
Remember, this is the person with whom you will live your whole life, the person who will always be by your side. Treasure it as your greatest treasure.
No one cancels the law of sowing and reaping in family relationships. What you sow is what you reap.
Rule 2: Communicate more and pay attention to each other
Work, affairs, vanity take up more of our time. At this time, both we and our halves are experiencing various events. We are in a hurry to share some, but some we don’t want to talk about at all.
All this affects family relationships. It is very important to take part in the life and events of your couple. Sometimes just listening is enough, without even taking any action or advice. Thus, you kind of become a participant in those events, you join and become one. This strengthens the effect of the first rule.
If you forget about this, then first a crack may appear in the relationship, and then a whole abyss.
Rule 3: Look for what unites you
Sometimes it happens that we begin to give more importance to shortcomings than to advantages. What you focus on, you will notice more. No one is perfect, only one God. In each of us we can find both advantages and disadvantages.
Once, when I had a disagreement with my wife, and I was in prayer, God told me: “There are girls better than her, some more beautiful, some smarter and more educated, but for you only she is the best!”
I suggest you do one exercise. Write 20 points why I am a happy husband/wife. I warn you, the first 10 points will fly out of a cannon, and by the 20th you will need to think about it.
This exercise is an indicator of your family relationships. If you have order in your family, doing this exercise will not be difficult for you. And if it takes you more than 3 minutes to complete it, then you should think about it.
In most cases, doing this exercise will bring tears to your eyes. You begin to appreciate your spouse much more.
Read these items out loud to your spouse and post the list in a visible place. Whenever you have difficulties, contact him. Write in the comments your list or at least how long it took you to complete the task, and whether it was difficult for you. However, not everyone can openly declare their love.
Rule 4: Love your other half
Love is not a noun, it is a verb. Love is not a feeling, it is an action. Love is manifested in our actions towards our loved ones. You can talk a lot about love, but do nothing.
A situation occurred in my life when I switched from my wife to my child. I began to give my attention and love to my child. I was very grateful to my wife for such a gift. I tried to be a good father and at the same time I forgot about attention and love for my wife. And one day our relationship reached such a dead end that I decided to break up with her.
My six-year-old son then drew a picture of our family and a broken heart at the top. He said it was his fault. To our objections that this is not so, and he is in no way to blame for this, he said: “You fell in love with me very much, you forgot about yourself!”
I don’t understand how he had so much wisdom at the age of six, but these words are forever imprinted on my heart. Now I clearly understand the essence of the words: “Dad loves mom, mom loves dad, and children bask in the love of their parents!” There is no need to shift your attention to children. Your significant other should always come first (rule #1).
Today, very often, when my son sees a manifestation of my love for my wife, he runs up to us and starts hugging us. This is his bathing in our love.
Friends, I wish you to be happy, especially in your families. I hope the article will be useful to you, and my experience will help you avoid unnecessary mistakes. Write your questions and comments in the comments. And also, what can you also advise from personal experience?
Man is born for happiness!
What music to perform the ritual to?
To emphasize the significance and warmth of the moment, the music for lighting the family hearth at a wedding must be chosen correctly. The composition should be calm, lyrical, with or without words. The main thing is that the text does not contradict the tradition and concept of the wedding as a whole. Music for lighting the family hearth can be selected from the following options:
- Destination point – “In plain sight”;
- Soso Pavliashvili – “To please”;
- Irina Allegrova - “The Two of Us”;
- Igor Krutoy - “When I close my eyes”;
- Vasily Perebikovsky - “There are difficult moments in life”;
- Soso Pavliashvili - “The sky in the palm of your hand”;
- Sting – “Shape Of My Heart”;
- Paul Mauriat – “Love is blue”;
- Libera – “Ave Maria”;
- Howard Shore - "Wedding Plans";
- Hans Zimmer - "Tennessee".
The bride and groom, together with their parents, can choose a composition that has symbolic meaning in their lives. In this case, it will mark another important stage in the life of the newlyweds.
Toastmasters for a wedding
An experienced wedding toastmaster can juggle congratulations like balloons. Each of them is an example of the perfect toast. That is why, when preparing to attend a wedding, you can borrow some of them.
in prose
“Having attended more than one celebration, I can note that our bride is the ideal of beauty and grace. There is so much happiness in her eyes. Let it always be like this! And I wish the groom to always do so that his wife is the happiest!”
“Dear newlyweds! A man in love wears glasses that make gold out of copper and wealth out of poverty. Let you see all this with naked eyes.”
“One French writer said that a happy life is a fiction, there are only such days. I wish many happy days result in your happy married life.”
in verse
“Happiness for a hundred years to come Live without quarrels, misunderstandings Here is a task from us for you And love to keep each other Let the neighborhood envy!”
Additional Tips
Before performing the tradition, it is necessary to check with the administration of the establishment where the banquet will be held whether it is possible to use an open fire in the room, since sometimes fire safety regulations prohibit this. In this case, the tradition is either replaced or transferred to the open air.
If it is assumed that the ceremony of lighting the family hearth at a wedding will be filmed by a photographer or videographer, then you need to tell him about this in advance so that he has time to prepare the necessary equipment for high-quality shooting in a dark room.
Each couple decides for themselves whether they will observe this or that tradition at their wedding. At the same time, lighting the family hearth is one of those customs that are used at almost every wedding celebration. In addition to the fact that such a ceremony looks beautiful and is memorable for both the newlyweds and the guests, it also makes the wedding more comfortable and natural.
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Wedding Hearth Tradition
The meaning of the ritual is very deep and one might even say sacred. But since close and dear people are present at the wedding, the candle is lit in front of a full hall. This requires complete silence and darkness.
All the lights in the hall are extinguished and, under the words of the toastmaster, the most intimate things happen. The family hearth itself consists of two candles. One is in the hands of the parents, and the other is in the newlyweds.
Parents often say parting words and a congratulatory speech with a lit candle in their hands, and after the words have been spoken, they pass it on to the young family, lighting their candle with their flame.
How to hold a ceremony
The important point is who lights the candles. There are various options for how events might develop:
- The candles are lit by the mothers of the newlyweds or all the women present at the wedding. They carry a lit symbol to pass on to the newlyweds. The main candle for lovers can be held by the bride, the newlyweds at the same time, or it can stand on the table.
- The fathers of the newlyweds light the candles and then pass them to their wives. Mothers carry a symbolic fire and present the family hearth to the newlyweds. They do this carefully so that the fire of love between lovers does not go out.
- If there are no parents, godparents or close relatives can replace them. The main thing is to discuss the script with the toastmaster and correct the text.
- During the lighting of the family hearth, the toastmaster pronounces touching words and conveys to the guests the meaning of the ritual. The presenter's text should explain where this action came from. A parable or poems about the hearth will help tell about this. The ceremony should be accompanied by appropriate music.
- Next, the bride can go around everyone present with the main lit symbol of the evening and light their candles, which they are holding in their hands. For convenience, you can use candlesticks or you may need a stand.
Basic moments
Lighting the family hearth is a process that is required at every wedding. It has ancient origins, and the action looks mesmerizingly beautiful. The newlyweds discuss in advance with the host how to conduct the lighting ceremony, discuss all the pros and cons so that there are no misunderstandings during the celebration. The newlyweds decide for themselves what to do with the candles after the wedding. They can keep it and, in due course, pass it on to their own children for their wedding.
The speech of the toastmaster at the moment of handing over the family hearth should be understandable and accessible to guests. After all, not everyone knows why this action occurs. A parable can be told about the emergence of this tradition. It goes like this: “One day, Happiness decided to leave one person’s house. And it finally asked what each family member wanted for himself. The hostess asked for a fur coat, the child - a toy. And the owner wanted the fire of the family hearth to always burn in his house. And Happiness remains, because where there is warmth, love and care for loved ones, there is happiness.”
The family hearth at a wedding can be replaced by. Sand in it acts as an alternative to fire. It also carries a symbol of home comfort and warmth. Recently, you can increasingly see this custom at weddings.
