Previously, in Rus', people strictly observed all sorts of traditions and customs, especially those related to relationships and family. Before the wedding, viewings were mandatory, which were necessary to make sure that the bride and groom were suitable for each other, and their parents were happy with everything, or vice versa.
Brides are not a guarantee of marriage!
Just because the viewing party has passed, this does not mean that the wedding will definitely take place. After all, this event is intended for the newlyweds to get to know each other better, for the parents to evaluate the bride and groom, as well as the dowry and other important points, and then decide whether there will be a marriage or not.
A man and a woman could refuse to get married after the wedding. And parents had the opportunity to speak out against the wedding if they were unhappy with something. For example, the mother and father did not see a truly promising groom for their daughter.
Although parents usually knew what the prospects were, since they themselves chose a couple, they started from the wealth of the family. Therefore, the refusal of the mother or father could have occurred for some serious reason, for example, when a deception was suddenly revealed or some new information was found out about the family of the bride or groom, after which the opinion about her changed for the worse.
One hundred clothes
Excessive thinness is one of the criteria that reduces the value of the bride. They tried to take portly women as wives, because curvy figures testified to the health of both the woman herself and her future offspring. In addition, thinness was automatically associated with poverty, and there were no people willing to welcome her into the new family.
So the matchmakers had to dress up the insufficiently well-fed girls so that they looked like fat ones: a couple of shirts, a sundress one size larger or several fuller skirts, a warmer top or a roomier one. You can also stuff some padding on your hips and chest to make it even more convincing. Beauty!
How were the screenings conducted?
At the viewing party, parents on both sides examined the bride and groom, as well as the girl’s dowry, the house, the household, and the young man’s wealth. The groom's side looked closely at the bride; it was important to make sure that the woman would become a good, smart wife.
The viewing party was held in the girl’s house. On this day, the man made his way to her home in various confusing ways. This was necessary in order to confuse the evil forces.
The girl was carefully prepared for the event, she was dressed in the best outfit, and covered with silk cloth on top. According to tradition, the future father-in-law could be the first to remove the covering from her face, after which he could chat with her a little. If he liked the bride, he kissed her on both cheeks.
Then other members of the groom’s family could look at the beauty, after which the future spouses were allowed to be alone, communicate, get to know each other, because then they could no longer see each other until the wedding day.
Scythe - a girl's tear
A thick and long braid in Rus' has always been considered the standard of female beauty and glorifies the bride’s attractiveness better than the most flattering words of a matchmaker. But what to do if a girl’s hair is thin and doesn’t want to grow below her shoulder blades? You can, of course, conduct a course of hair restoration with the help of herbal infusions and call on magic to help - for example, sleep with a rope under your pillow or run in the rain with your head uncovered. But this takes time.
If the look is on the nose, then express methods will also work, allowing you to quickly increase the volume and length of the braid. For example, weave horse hair into it, successfully matching the shade of the mane to the natural color of the bride’s rare “hair,” or decorate the braid with a ribbon from the very base. The woven ribbon not only made the hairstyle more presentable, but also symbolized that the girl was of marriageable age.
Forgery at the bride's show
Of course, not all girls in Rus' were beauties. There were also those who had any defects in the face or body. If the bride was ugly in appearance, had flaws in her skin, nose, eyes and other parts of her face, then instead of her they dressed up another girl who had an attractive appearance.
If the bride suffered from thinness, several dresses were put on her to give her at least some shape. If a girl turned out to be lame, she could be kept sitting on a chair for all the viewings.
If a man revealed the shortcomings of his future wife during the event, he could refuse the marriage. However, if it was not possible to notice the defects, then after the wedding it was much more difficult to dissolve the marriage, because you had to go to the clergy and prove that the real bride turned out to be completely different from the girl who was at the bride.
Therefore, guys did not always refuse girls with defects, but their future lives did not bring happiness. The man did not love such a wife, he tried not to get too close to her, some even allowed assault.
For the young: how Russian tsars looked for brides
In Rus' they began to choose brides for the head of state already in the 16th century, but in Byzantium they did this much earlier - from the 8th century. This custom was akin to beauty contests. What traditions existed when choosing a future wife for the highest-ranking person in the state?
Bridal viewing is a custom of choosing a wife for the head of state from among the most beautiful girls in the country. Unlike the traditional search for a bride for dynastic reasons, the viewing of brides was held after a kind of “beauty contest”. The custom originated at the Byzantine imperial court in the 8th century, after which it was adopted in Rus' in the 16th century.
K. Makovsky. “The choice of a bride by Tsar Alexei Mikhailovich.” Source: wikipedia.org
Little information has been preserved about Byzantine rituals; some researchers even consider such stories to be later literary insertions. However, the chronicles provide some details about Byzantine traditions. Much more information has been preserved about Russian bridesmaid shows. The general principle was the same, since in the “Third Rome” shows were organized based on the example of the “Second Rome” - Constantinople.
Messengers were specially sent throughout the state to find beautiful girls. One of the parameters was the candidate's shoe size. Remember, in the fairy tale about Cinderella, everyone tried on the shoe, but it only suited the main character? It was about the same in Rus'. Each messenger had a special measure with him and applied it to the foot of every beauty he met.
In Muscovy, choosing a bride was a very important matter. In the Decree of Ivan IV (the same one as the Terrible) we read:
“When this letter comes to you, and which of you have girl daughters, then you would immediately go with them to the city to our governors for inspection, and you would not hide the girl’s daughters under any circumstances. Whoever of you hides the girl and does not take her to the governors will be in great disgrace and execution from me.”
Reconstruction of the costume of the Byzantine empress, photo from the 19th century. (wikipedia.org)
The preliminary selection among the hundreds of girls brought for the Tsar was thorough. As historians say, first the boyars got to know them and selected girls who met the requirements: the future queen must be tall, beautiful, healthy, and it is desirable that she have many children in her family - this will guarantee her fertility, and this is the most important thing consideration in succession to the throne. The remaining few dozen girls were presented personally to the king.
Many of the royal brides were from very poor families. The father of Alexei Mikhailovich’s first wife, Maria Miloslavskaya, served as a kravchiy (kravchiy is a boyar who served the tsar at the table) with the embassy clerk Ivan Gramotin. His daughter, the future queen, went into the forest to pick mushrooms and sold them at the market.
For Grand Duke Vasily, the father of Ivan the Terrible, they chose a bride like this: they brought five hundred beauties, noble and ignorant, from all Russian lands, of which they chose three hundred, then a hundred and, finally, ten. Such shows were held for the Russian Tsar in the image and likeness of the wedding traditions of the Byzantine emperors. From these ten girls they chose the first wife of Vasily III - Solomonia Saburova, the daughter of a poor boyar.
Ivan the Terrible was the first to introduce the tradition of royal viewings. It is a known fact that more than 2,000 girls were selected for Ivan the Terrible when he was looking for a third wife. The king personally met 24, then eliminated half of them, and from the remaining 12 he chose the best. Since the process of such “casting” is slow, the girls who arrived in the capital were settled together with the royal relatives in the palace.
The choice of the bride of Tsar Alexei Mikhailovich. Source: wikipedia.org
In Rus', it happened that the king suddenly paid attention to an unwanted girl (for example, if those close to the throne interceded for their relative). In this case, everything was done to remove the bride from the “distance”. For example, when Efimiya Vsevolozhskaya, chosen by Alexei Mikhailovich, was dressed in a royal dress for the first time, her hair was pulled back so tightly that she fainted. It was quickly announced that Efimiya suffered from epilepsy, and her father and family, for hiding her “ill health,” were exiled to Tyumen.
In pre-Petrine times, Russian tsars chose wives from among their subjects. The viewing of royal brides took place according to special traditions. From time immemorial, the beauty of Russian girls was almost synonymous with physical health, and it’s not for nothing that the word “beauty” comes from the word “red.” A pale and thin girl was considered sickly, or depraved, of bad behavior. Therefore, it was read that it was the “beautiful” bride that the king needed, who would be able to give birth to a healthy heir.
Before Peter I, the highest representatives of the Russian government did not look for brides in “overseas” countries. The “Encyclopedia of Rituals and Customs” indicates that the Russian tsars chose a bride from among their subjects, because they could not marry the daughters of foreign rulers because of European ideas about Russia as a wild desert inhabited by barbarians, and most importantly, because of differences in faith.
Almost all the brides of the Russian tsars were of humble origin: Evdokia Streshneva, the second wife of Tsar Mikhail Fedorovich Romanov, was the daughter of a small nobleman, and the beloved, first wife of Ivan the Terrible, Anastasia Zakharyina-Yuryeva, was the daughter of a okolnichy under Ivan III. Foreign brides began to be chosen as wives for kings after Peter I, and these were all rich and noble noblewomen close to the imperial families.
Matchmaking scenario on the part of the groom - the move must be thought out
In any case, the program should be extremely interesting. A good matchmaking scenario on the part of the groom includes interesting, witty toasts, congratulations, songs, and competitions. The main thing is to think everything through carefully. This will help the young man and his “team” not to get into trouble and to show off their subtle sense of humor, eloquence and erudition among future relatives.
The bride's age and virginity
In Rus', girls got married at about 12 years old. If a girl turned 18 and was not yet married, then she was considered “too old.” And single women who never married until old age were called “vekovushy.” They did not enjoy respect among their fellow villagers, since they considered such women to be spoiled.
In the pre-Christian era in Rus', maintaining virginity before marriage was not necessary. On the contrary, it was believed that if a girl had already lost it and had a child, then she could become a good wife and mother. But after the arrival of Christianity in Rus', everything changed. The “corrupted” girl was condemned, and if she still managed to get married and her secret was revealed, then the marriage was considered invalid.
Don't think down!
It was not only when matchmaking ugly women that one had to show ingenuity. Often, beautiful girls rejected candidates so many times, considering each one unworthy, that they simply stopped sending matchmakers to them. Time flew by unnoticed, and after 18-20 years, a young lady of marriageable age turned into an overstayer, and it became shameful to woo her.
Only a skilled matchmaker was able to provide the beauty with a “last chance,” often because it was possible to slightly underestimate her real age. If the lie came to light, it was not before the priest entered the information about the spouses into the search and birth registers. But because of the extra 3-5 years of his beautiful wife, few of the grooms caused a scandal.
Wedding ceremonies
The ritual of vaults, which were endowed with magical significance, was accompanied by departure to the crown. A vault with special wedding songs symbolically connected the bride and groom. It was performed either in the middle of the home or in the courtyard. The groom was brought to the bride by his groomsman or matchmaker. He joined their hands and tied them with an embroidered towel (a towel, a scarf). The bride and groom walked in a circle three times. The magical connection is also characteristic of the ritual with bread. A friend cut off two edges: one from the bride’s bread and the second from the groom’s brought bread. They were put together, tied with a red ribbon and given to the godmother, who placed them on the table. Sometimes bread was broken over the heads of a row of young people seated. ?-th of the groom's bread was handed over to the bride's father, and ?-th of the bride's bread was handed over to the groom's friend, and the halves were tied with a ribbon and placed on the table.
A wedding taking place in a church is a mysterious and extraordinarily beautiful ceremony. Before the face of God, standing under the crown, the young people swear to be faithful both in sorrow and in joy.
Dowry from the fair
The dowry became a huge advantage for the bride: the more tightly packed the chest, the greater the chances of getting married successfully. The contents of the chest demonstrated not only the wealth of a young lady of any class, but also her ability to spin, sew, and embroider, because the girl prepared most of the things for her dowry on her own for many years.
If it was not possible to raise Marya the Artisan from a daughter, then the parents, according to the matchmaker’s teaching, easily agreed to a substitution: they put towels and shirts bought at the fair in the chest, so that the potential candidate and his family would definitely not be able to resist. And after marriage, many spouses could only say: “Believe the dowry after the wedding!” Yes, complain about your incompetent wife.
Was marriage between different classes possible?
Inter-class marriages, of course, took place, but such husbands and wives were looked at askance. If a village girl married a member of a higher class, then she was not accepted by society and she became an outcast.
In addition, such girls were considered a kind of concubines - “lessons.” In Rus', men in some villages could take a second wife, and often they became pretty servants or peasant women.
"Smotriny." Nikolay Nevrev.
Defective goods
Not only serious injuries (deafness, lameness, strabismus, etc.) made it difficult for the matchmaker to work, but even a common cold or a harmless mole could turn him away from a successful conspiracy. That is why many matchmakers, on the eve of the wedding, settled in the bride’s house or strictly ordered the parents to take care of the girl like the apple of their eye.
The bride was entrusted with the safest jobs (God forbid she gets hurt!) and was even fed only what other family members had previously tried (what if enemies poisoned her or something upset happened?). If she did manage to get hurt, they tried to quickly heal the bruises and abrasions, and in case of failure, they disguised them under clothing. Moles and birthmarks were covered with whitewash, chalk or flour.
It was more difficult to hide obvious physical defects from the groom, but even here the matchmakers often managed to show such ingenuity that the hubby remained in the dark until he left the church. The main thing is that the newlyweds do not “get close” before the wedding. If the wary spouse insists, then you can arrange a viewing in a public place, for example, in a church, where it is indecent to look around. Or sit the girl by the open window of the upper room so that the defects are hidden from the groom passing by.
Observance of wedding rituals is very important
In general, it is not difficult to understand how to conduct matchmaking on the part of the groom. You just need to think through every detail of your scenario in advance.
Unfortunately, today very few people observe wedding rituals. But this is completely in vain. Matchmaking is a colorful ceremony filled with fun. Accordingly, it can become a real highlight of your wedding. Depending on your preferences and desires, you can spend it as you see fit, but the main thing is bright and beautiful!
In any case, after the groom asks the bride’s parents for her hand in marriage, they bless the newlyweds, holding icons of the Savior and the Mother of God in their hands.
Beautifully and elegantly dressed matchmakers and the future husband, who are trying to show their best side, must necessarily prove that the bride made the right choice and that he is worthy of her. By the way, sometimes a girl is not given the opportunity to be present at the matchmaking. Her parents simply have every right to ask a variety of sensitive questions, for example, about the financial situation of the groom, about living conditions, about his worldview, about his attitude towards family, marriage and children.
However, the issue of matchmaking is a personal matter for everyone. How it will go is up to the young people and their parents to decide! The main thing is that everything should be remembered by guests and hosts. A carefully planned event leaves extremely positive emotions! You just need to put in a little effort!
Arrival in Moscow
All the girls who were registered by the messengers came to the capital city on the required date, where the review was to take place. Among them there were girls from all walks of life, but most often they were the daughters of eminent boyars and nobles. And about 1,500 such girls arrived in Moscow, each of whom took with her her best outfits and tried to somehow stand out among the other girls, so that she would be noticed and allowed to continue to the review, and not immediately turned back.
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Bridal viewing
Immediately upon arrival in the capital, the boyars close to the Tsar weeded out about a thousand candidates for the hand and heart of the Tsar, and 500 girls went to the Tsar's palace. There they had to undergo inspection by midwives, boyars and healers, who were no longer so interested in the beauty of the throne-seekers as in their health. This stage of selection was most similar to a medical examination, as a result of which a young lady was to be selected who was capable of giving birth to an heir for the king. After all, why does the king need a bride? And then, to give birth to a son, and better yet more than one, since the mortality rate in those years was not at all low.
Announcement about the show
As soon as the sovereign made a decision about marriage, an announcement was immediately made in all cities and villages about the upcoming review, in which any girl of suitable age could participate. Moreover, her position in society did not matter here, since all the young ladies were equal before the tsar, be they even the lowest peasant women or outstanding noblewomen. The main thing is that the girls should be attractive in appearance. And so that everyone could find out about the upcoming bridesmaids, special messengers were sent to all corners of the country, who notified the tsar’s decree and at the same time carried out an initial examination of potential brides on the spot, copying their names into a document, which was then sent to Moscow.
Watch the script
A well-thought-out and humorous script for the show will help two families establish warm and relaxed relationships from the very beginning of their acquaintance. You shouldn't make the viewing a surprise for your parents. They are scheduled for a pre-agreed day and time. To lift the mood of those present, immediately after meeting the guests, the groom, without words, exclusively in sign language and using facial expressions, talks about his home. And the bride's parents write everything down on paper. After finishing the story, the parents read out what they wrote, everyone receives a lot of positive emotions.
The moment has come to invite guests to the table, where a glass of good wine will be followed by the groom’s verbal story about himself and his family. Having learned all the interesting details of the young man’s personal life, the guests are eager to experience him in the role of a future owner. The guy will have to undergo tests in competitions (rolling up a can blindfolded, assembling a stool, etc.) For each unsuccessfully completed stage, the groom is punished with a “penalty” pile. At the same time, they also check for addiction to alcohol.
Having spared the young man, the guests again sit down at the table. It's time to find out how he is going to earn money to support his family. The groom talks about his work and prospects for promotion. Parents are figuring out whether their daughter should also earn a living, or whether the young man will give her the role of a housewife and nanny for the children. If the result of the meeting suits both parties, the wedding is considered successful and preparations for the wedding begin. It would be appropriate to take photos and videos of the ceremony to leave a wonderful memory of this wonderful pre-wedding ceremony.
