A wedding is an event of special importance and significance, but the celebration will only be exciting if, during preparation for it and during its celebration, all existing customs of the people to which the bride and groom belong are observed.
A Georgian wedding is no exception; on the contrary, this holiday is a clear confirmation of how important and revered the traditions of our ancestors are. If in former times marriage was entered into by prior agreement of the parents, today a wedding in Georgia is a celebration in the European style. However, before the boy and girl are announced as the bride and groom, matchmaking, engagement and betrothal must take place.
Customs before the wedding
A traditional Georgian wedding includes several stages, and all of them together take more than one day. This process consists of the following points:
- Machankloba (matchmaking).
- Engagement.
- Bride ransom.
- Meeting of the groom's relatives with his chosen one.
- Official part.
The main feature of the Georgian celebration is the large number of guests .
A hundred guests is not considered such a large number here. Rather, this is the minimum bar. The reason lies not only in the hospitable mentality, but also in the corresponding tradition, according to which all relatives from both newlyweds must be invited to the wedding. Violation of this custom by uninvited people can be regarded as rudeness and serve as a reason for a quarrel. For many centuries, a Georgian wedding could not be imagined without the kidnapping of the bride. This custom is familiar to many generations of Georgians, and we will tell you more about it a little later.
Matchmaking
Although the tradition of matchmaking in Georgia has a special name - Machankloba , it is not much different from the Russian ritual. At this stage, the newlyweds must obtain the approval of their future union from their parents, and if the elders are against it, then the whole wedding ends. Therefore, young people approach the preparation process very carefully. For example, they hire a professional matchmaker.
A man, along with his family, and sometimes a matchmaker, comes to the house of his future wife to obtain permission to marry. This visit is necessarily accompanied by a large number of gifts from him. The bride's relatives, in turn, arrange a magnificent feast. There should be a lot of wine on the table so that there is enough for all participants. Therefore, they stock up on alcohol in advance.
Engagement also requires special preparation from both the newlyweds and the guests.
According to national custom, the newlyweds are presented with a large number of gifts, which usually include flowers, alcoholic drinks and Georgian sweets.
Before sitting down to the table, according to custom, guests talk to each other. At the same time, men usually communicate with men, and women with women. Future spouses are sure to sit next to each other. The beginning of the feast is marked by a toast from the groom's father, who should express the joy of the union.
Engagement
When parental blessing has been received, the couple can be considered newlyweds. The newlyweds get engaged at home with the girl's parents. The bride accepts gifts from her betrothed's loved ones in the form of precious jewelry and new clothes. These items are carefully kept throughout the married life and are often passed on by inheritance. According to tradition, the purchase of rings is the responsibility of both lovers: the girl buys the wedding jewelry for the guy, the guy buys the wedding jewelry for the girl. But buying outfits for the celebration is the task of the chosen one’s family. At the same time, men's suit is also their responsibility.
At this stage, they also plan further celebrations: from choosing a date and place, to sharing expenses, for which there are no clear traditional regulations. In the old days, most often all remaining financial issues fell on the shoulders of the young man’s family. Now relatives are trying to divide the costs equally. This is understandable, because previously the amount did not include restaurant rent.
Different regions of this Caucasian country keep their own unique wedding traditions. The differences are mainly in the details, but the principles described above remain unchanged. But even among these nuances you can find something interesting.
The ransom ceremony and the abduction of the bride
Bride ransom ceremony
in Georgia it takes place differently, depending on the preferences of the family.
The ransom does not always mean that the groom must once again show his wealth and give part of it to the bride’s parents. The ransom is a formality that is entertaining in nature and is an occasion to once again prove to the bride that the groom loves her and wants to be with her. Another unique tradition that is rarely found at modern Georgian weddings is bride kidnapping
.
If we go deeper into the story, we find out that they kidnapped the bride in order to later come to her parents to get married. The theft was a kind of statement from the groom that he wanted to marry his beloved. This was not always in the girl’s interests. But often, the couple agreed with each other in advance, thus telling conflicting parents about their love. Currently, young people get to know each other in everyday life and consciously approach this step, having their own desire to get married. The ritual of bride stealing can only be found in Georgian villages.
Interesting Facts
And among the Mingrelians, and among the Kakhetians, and among other Georgian peoples, the procedure for concluding a marriage union is almost the same. But the differences in the intervals between these stages are sometimes impressive! This is especially true when comparing flat and mountainous Georgia. If among the former, according to custom, some 2-3 weeks , then among representatives of the second group, for example, Adjarians or Svans, married spouses wait from 3 to 5 or more years before the wedding.
And in Imereti there is a custom according to which a girl after the wedding lives with her parents for another year. Such a long time was given so that the future wife could say goodbye to her father’s house. Now this period is increasingly being shortened.
There are differences in other components of the marriage ritual. Among mountain peoples, for example, it is customary for a future married couple to stay in separate rooms, with the man keeping the guests company. In these same areas there is a custom of small betrothal. The idea is that a special cape is put on the bride’s head, without which she then cannot leave the house. The action takes place with the participation of relatives on the male side, while the groom himself does not participate in this procedure. He connects only to the second part - the big engagement party, and makes sure to take his friends to it.
The wedding date was not chosen by chance ; traditional culture also has its own regulations on this matter. According to local superstitions, it is better to choose the time for this holiday in late autumn or winter. Among the days of the week Saturday , and among the lunar phases, the full moon is preferable. It is believed that choosing such a date promises the newlyweds a happy and long life together. But here, too, there are differences in different regions: for example, among the Mingrelians, Sunday is considered the most suitable day.
Of course, not all traditions have been preserved, and those that have passed through the centuries have been largely transformed to suit modern culture. Thus, no one anymore gives bulls and horses as a dowry and does not celebrate marriage all week. The trend is towards practicality - the celebration is held within a couple of days, the wait for it is shortened after the couple is married, and the young wife no longer has to cover her face with a veil. At the same time, people continue to honor key national customs in this matter and it is unlikely that anything will change in the near future. Therefore, now Georgian weddings are a mixture of the cultural heritage of their ancestors and its modern interpretation.
Traditional outfits
A woman's wedding dress should consist of several layers. The first step is to put on a high-necked shirt, symbolizing feminine modesty. On top, her dress is luxurious, with rich embroidery and slits on the sleeves. And the last layer is outerwear, which should be either white or black. Important details of the image are a belt and a headdress with a veil. The neck is also decorated. It is customary for friends to do their hair. Traditionally these are two braids. But their photographs will tell you better about the beauty of Georgian brides.
The men's suit has its own name - chokha. Her choice should be made by the chosen one. Chokha consists of several elements:
- white shirt with a stand-up collar;
- outerwear with luxurious embroidery and satin lining;
- patterned belt;
- leather boots.
Wedding - conventions that do not have to be a priority
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Having a Slavic appearance, everyone immediately switches to Russian, so there is little practice. My husband and I communicate only in Russian, although he speaks Georgian, Mingrelian, Russian, English well and is studying Arabic.
Kidnapping
This custom has especially declined with the passage of time and the development of culture. If before the bride was actually kidnapped , and her appearance became a surprise for the groom at the wedding ceremony itself (he had not seen her before), now marriage is always a matter of mutual consent. The latter, indeed, took place in traditional Georgian society, but it was concluded only between older relatives, and not the spouses themselves.
In defense of tradition, it is worth saying that the bride was kidnapped not only as a tribute to the foundations, but also for pragmatic reasons. When a daughter disappeared from home, her parents could not organize a magnificent holiday and save a lot on it. For poor families, this was the only available option to marry off their daughter. In modern times, kidnapping is now very rarely part of a marriage.
Symbiosis of tradition and modernity
Centuries-old customs require a grandiose, crowded celebration - hundreds of relatives and acquaintances, colleagues and neighbors are invited. Refusal to visit is perceived as deep resentment and unwillingness to share the happiness and joy of a long-awaited event with the newlyweds.
At the same time, such a magnificent event is very expensive for the families of the bride and groom and is unaffordable for many. You can avoid significant financial costs and observe the traditions of your ancestors by kidnapping the bride.
As a rule, abduction occurs with the mutual consent of the bride and groom and is of a formal nature. But it allows you to modestly celebrate a wedding in a narrow circle of close relatives. In modern Georgia, this custom is practiced less and less, as the country is increasingly closer to European standards of life and kidnapping can entail criminal liability.
Wedding ceremony
Georgia has a rich religious culture, as this country was one of the first to adopt Christianity back in the 4th century. For comparison, the spread of this religion on the territory of Rus' occurred in the 11th-12th centuries. That is why the wedding here is an obligatory component of the marriage. After him, the newlyweds pass through an arch that the husband’s friends made from daggers. This represents a ritual that gives protection to the family nest of lovers.
Civil marriage
Afterwards, the couple goes to the registry office , where they will officially be made husband and wife. The celebration will continue with a photo shoot, and then the bride will get to know her new home.
Approaching the house, the newly-made wife must break several plates - to family happiness. Afterwards, her new husband must launch a white bird from the roof of the house. When all the signs are met, you can begin to celebrate the event with wine.
While the girl is getting acquainted with her new home, grains are scattered - another custom that should attract happiness under the roof of the new family. In addition to all the wedding signs listed, there are many others:
- during the inspection of the home, the bride must touch the cauldron, symbolizing the family hearth;
- she also makes 3 circles around the pot of oil;
- relatives give spouses wooden jewelry, because wood is a symbol of life;
- before the kiss, the girl smears her lips with honey - this gesture should make her speech “sweet” throughout the marriage.
Another national feature of marriage is the way the engagement ring is given to the bride. Before being placed on the ring finger, the jewelry is placed in a glass of wine . The couple takes turns drinking the drink until a ring appears at the bottom.
Advice from a couple
- • There are 3 main questions in the preparation process: “do we really want this?”, “do we really need this?”, “can everything be easily replayed if something goes wrong?” If the answer to all questions is a clear “yes”, you are on the right track.
- • Whatever happens, listen to each other.
- • Be sure to have breakfast in the morning!
- • Find someone who will answer the phone that day, because calls are very annoying and distract from the most important thing.
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Festive feast
Although the wedding cultures of Georgia and Russia have more in common than differences, a mandatory attribute of Russian weddings - shouting “bitter” - will not be heard here. But in this country there is an equally soulful table tradition - everyone must make a toast to the happy future of the married couple. Before the banquet they are greeted with flowers and sweets. The spouses' place is located separately from the common table and slightly rises above the guests' places.
The toastmaster at a feast is not a random person: as a rule, he is a good friend or relative of one of the families.
When the first toasts have been announced, the dance of the newlyweds is announced. Usually this is the traditional “Kartuli”. The couple carefully prepares for the dance part, taking choreography lessons from masters. But not only is there no Georgian wedding without a cheerful dance - songs are also an integral part of it. Both professional musicians and the guests themselves sing.
If we had to highlight 3 main features of the Caucasian festival, then to the 2 previous points - cheerful dances and songs, we must definitely add a generously laid table. It is not customary to skimp here on anything, but on treating guests - there are few places where you can see such an abundance of food at an ordinary wedding banquet.
Returning to customs, they manifest themselves even in the process of cutting a birthday cake. The newlyweds divide it into pieces together, and the first portion is given by the husband to the most dear guest.
Nowadays, the celebration is usually held in a restaurant. The main dishes on the table, in addition to the special wedding soup, are ajapsandal, meat, khachapuri, kebabs, dolma, cheeses, fruits, national sweets and other delicacies. Of course, there is no holiday without wine, which is paired with cognac.
A real Georgian wedding is always a magnificent and cheerful celebration, which, once you have attended, you are unlikely to forget. The country deeply respects family values and the cultural heritage of their ancestors. That is why they treat the wedding celebration with all seriousness and soul.
Engagement process
After the viewing party has passed, it is time to get engaged. On the appointed day, the groom and his relatives come to the bride. Guests come with gifts in the form of flowers, cakes and cognac.
The girl’s parents set a large table with national Georgian dishes on it. According to tradition, the wine should not be allowed to run out on the table.
The invited guests are talking in anticipation of the holiday. The bride and groom sit down at the table together.
Georgian toasts begin to sound. The first word is given to the young man's father. It shows the joy of the opportunity for two families to become related. After this, he reminds his son to give a gift to the bride.
The groom shows the wedding ring and puts it on the hand of his future wife. At this time, relatives present gifts to the bride's family. During the event, guests also receive gifts. On the way, the young people are given treats in the form of sweets and khachapuri.
In many regions of Georgia, after getting engaged, the groom can freely come to his wife’s house and live there. Often the first child is born before the marriage is officially registered.
Georgian toasts for a wedding
As we have already noted, toasts play an important role in the celebration. Let's give an example of some beautiful congratulations.
“Georgia has a wonderful way to live a long life. It is believed that time spent with guests does not count towards age. Therefore, let’s drink to our guests, who extended the lives of everyone present at the wedding!”
“In the Caucasus they say: if you want to live in one place for a month, plant a cornfield there, if for a year, build a house, and if you want to live your whole life, raise a child. So let the young people sow more than one cornfield, build a wonderful house and raise more than one child!”
“A man from the East is a heat-loving man. He vitally needs the sun's rays. But we are not only talking about the sun. He can easily be replaced by his beloved woman, who will envelop him in affection and warmth even during terrible bad weather. Let's raise a glass to the bride who was able to warm up our groom. Let her love and tenderness continue to warm him and serve as support in any adversity.”
A magnificent feast is an integral part of the wedding
Nowadays it is customary to celebrate weddings in a restaurant, or rather in special rooms designed for a large number of invited guests. Some halls can accommodate more than a thousand people. On average, 400-600 people are now invited to a wedding, often more. The expenses are paid in half by the families of the bride and groom.
Before the newlyweds enter the hall, traditional Georgian music sounds, the bride and groom break a plate on the threshold of the restaurant and go to a separate table, along a path strewn with pink petals, to the applause of the guests.
As a rule, the hall is decorated very beautifully and richly - tables and chairs are draped with fabric, the hall is buried in fresh flowers and other decorations. The tables are filled with the best dishes, jugs of wine, fruit and sweets. Hot dishes are served throughout the evening, so that by the end of the holiday there is absolutely no room left on the table.
Separately, mention should be made of the method of giving gifts to young people. In modern Georgia, it is customary to give money for a wedding. During the entire banquet, guests can approach special people, from among the closest relatives of the bride and groom, who keep a special notebook where they write down the guest’s name and the amount he gives to the newlyweds. A notebook with these notes and the entire amount collected is later transferred to the young people. Subsequently, when going to a wedding with one of the guests, the newlyweds will give the same amount that they gave to them.
