Witnesses at a wedding: responsibilities, subtleties of choice and signs

Receiving an offer to be a witness at a friend's wedding is a sign of great respect and enormous responsibility. If you do everything right, you will receive huge gratitude from your best friends.

However, beyond that, if you do your job right, you will also do many, many good things that will go completely unnoticed.

After reading the article to the end, you will learn:

• What should a groom's witness do at a wedding?
• What are the responsibilities of a witness?

Planning a bachelor party? Yes. Make a speech? Certainly. Below are these and other important duties of a witness on the part of the groom at a wedding.

Be helpful in preparation

Planning the most joyful day of your best friend's life is stressful. The groom will need your help during the wedding preparation stage.

Check in every 4-6 weeks and ask if there is anything you can do to help.

First of all, be a vest. As a witness, you will likely need to listen to your friend. And the first duty of a witness: not to aggravate the drama .

Secondly, if you are tasked with assisting in the planning stages, be realistic about what you can do. Then do it.

Responsibilities of a witness

• Help the bride choose a wedding dress and all accessories - veil, shoes, garter, jewelry.
• Prepare and carry out the ransom.
• Place in your purse things that the bride may need during the wedding - spare tights, cosmetics, threads, napkins. By the way, the witness will also have to carry this handbag.
• Constantly monitor the bride's appearance.
• Help the bride accept the bouquets that are presented to her after registering the marriage.

Set your budget

The role of a witness at a wedding may require small expenses. There are things you have to pay for, like a nice suit or bachelor party festivities.

There are also things you might want to pay for, like drinks for guests at the reception, snacks for the groom, bachelor party shenanigans and the like.

Set a budget, do your best to stick to it, and don't be shy about asking your fiancé for a credit card when asked for something that you feel is beyond your responsibility.

Stag

Whiskey by the fire or nightclub? Which bachelor party suits the groom best?

No matter what kind of wedding you are planning, a bachelor party is something that will definitely fall on your shoulders. These days, stag parties are much more interesting and challenging than in the days when alcohol poisoning was proof of a good time.

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So help your friend make his bachelor party unforgettable.

Legislative settlement of the issue

Proof that the law does not oblige newlyweds to invite witnesses to the painting is recorded in the provisions of Art. 27 clause 4 of the Federal Law “On Acts of Civil Status”. The normative document indirectly answers the question of whether witnesses are required, because the persons who are getting married must be present during the painting.

Unlike the sample marriage record in the act, which was in force in Soviet times, in the Russian Federation a similar document does not provide for mandatory signature fields for eyewitnesses.

So, based on Art. 29 of the said legislation, the following information is entered into the marriage act:

• surname (before registration and after), first names and patronymics of citizens entering into a marriage relationship;
• date and place of birth with age and citizenship;
• residential address at the time of marriage, marital status, passport details;
• signature of the newlyweds and the official registering the marriage.

Entering information about witnesses into the marriage registration record is not provided for by law.

Bachelor party planning: have fun, stay on topic

Talk to your groom about what he wants and what he doesn't want to do. Plan your budget, solve logistical issues and decide on the best time to hold the party.

Think outside the box.

Thanks to the current boom in entertainment, there are plenty of options. You can throw a bachelor party at a local distillery, rent a cabin in a nearby park, or go go-karting.

As a groomsman at a wedding, you are responsible for all the other friends. Call them and make sure that most are aware of your plan.

If you have a group of more than 3 people, it is almost impossible to get everyone together on the same day, but you need to make every effort to do so.

Bring the groom something to eat

If you don't know for sure if someone has taken care of this, bring food for the groom on the morning of the wedding. It may not be very healthy food, such as donuts, coffee or sandwiches, but it won't hurt to grab protein bars, nuts and fruit.

No one will ever be upset about having more food. And nothing ruins a wedding atmosphere like a gaggle of hungry and hungover groomsmen.

Since the groom has a lot of thoughts about his wedding day in his head, he probably doesn't take into account the fact that on his wedding day he will have 3-5 guys hanging out under his feet in the morning. And this is where you will come in very handy.

Distribute responsibilities among other friends, give the groom time to collect his thoughts.

How to choose a bridesmaid

Is it possible for a widow or divorced girl to be a witness? Of course not. This is evidenced not only by signs, but also by the opinions of competent psychologists. Such a person, due to his emotional state, will have a negative impact on the young family and the holiday itself.

• Age matters. The witness should be at least a little younger than the bride. It is unknown where this restriction came from, but such a rule will allow us to weed out a lot of potential applicants.
• Name overlap is not allowed.
• If a girl was a witness for two girlfriends, then the third should already be hers.
• External resemblance. This is not the main criterion, but it must be taken into account. The build and height of the young woman and her girlfriend should be approximately the same, otherwise the “couple” will look very comical.
• Character. A person with complexes and embarrassment will not be suitable. You need to look for a cheerful, active and sociable applicant.
• Relationships. Don't choose a relative as your girlfriend out of politeness. Young people should feel as comfortable as possible at the table, and know that they have reliable support.

In most cases, the bride chooses her sister or best friend as her bridesmaid. But there is no need to rush into your obsession. First, explain to the potential applicant the duties of a witness; she may not agree to shoulder this burden.

Be calm

Enthusiasm and a positive attitude will go a long way. Everyone will be stressed, so any help you can provide will be appreciated.

On your wedding day, it's time to hide all your enthusiastic feelings and not show them.

Need to pick up someone's grandma from the airport? Still would! Stringing 5,000 cranberries on a thread for holiday Photoshop? Yes!

If you've ever thrown a party, you know how important it is to make sure everyone is having a good time. As the best man, you are tasked with creating a positive, calm atmosphere so that the newlyweds can focus on other things.

Know your place in the hierarchy

Unless you served in the military, the most “hierarchical” experience of your life will be your best friend's wedding day.

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Know your place in the queue. For most wedding parties it looks something like this:

Bride and groom → Wedding agency → Parents → Bridesmaid → You

In most cases, Wedding Agency representatives know much more about how the day should go than anyone else.

The best witness at a wedding (video 2 minutes)

You need to find the person from the agency, introduce yourself, tell them what you have already taken care of and what you are currently doing, and ask how you can help.

If someone higher than you in the hierarchy tells you to do something differently, you have two options:

1. Do what they say;
2. Tell them that the bride or groom told you otherwise.

Either way, take responsibility for the task.

Responsibilities of a witness at a wedding

In another way, the witness is also called the best man. The rules for his choice are the same as for the witness: he must not be divorced or widowed. The best choice is a single young man who is a close friend of the groom.

The responsibilities of the best man are not much different from those of the best man. He must organize a fun bachelor party for a group of men. The witness takes an active part in the bride price - he helps the groom pass the tests and “appeases” the bridesmaids. For them, he buys treats in advance: sweets, champagne or small souvenirs. The witness should have small coins in reserve, prepared for ransom.

Get ready for a toast at the registry office

You might think that choosing a suit and doing your hair is quite simple. In most cases, this is true.

However, your best friend's wedding is not just an ordinary day.

It can be surprising to realize that this is the last time you will see your friend before he gets married.

If you manage to find the right moment to make a toast, you will not regret that you prepared for it in advance. You will create a sincere, warm atmosphere and cheer up the newlyweds before the ceremony.

At large, carefully planned celebrations, it is easy to lose your emotional connection with the people who will be there.

A toast at the registry office is a short and quick way to take some time and show your love for the groom and respect for his life partner.

If you want to take them by surprise with your words, then it is better to do this at the registry office, and not during the wedding toast.

History of the emergence of witnessing institutions

During the Soviet era, the presence of witnesses during the painting was mandatory; the marriage registration document contained the appropriate columns for their names, passport details and signatures.

The role for such observers was obvious and was the need to confirm the registration of marriage. At that time, witnesses were required in the registry office when registering the birth of a child.

The Institute of Witnessing appeared in 1964, existing until the mid-90s. According to the amendments made to the 1926 Code of the RSFSR on Family, Marriage and Guardianship and the resolutions of the Council of Ministers, any adult, a legally capable person who was not married at the time of witnessing, could become a witness. Witnesses in practice were close friends of the future husband and wife who were not related by marriage.

Give a (short) best man speech

What does a witness do at a wedding? Perhaps one of the most visible (and anxiety-inducing) responsibilities of a best friend: the celebratory toast.

The good news is that it's much easier than you think. Think back to any wedding you've ever been to: do you remember the best guy speech? Probably only if it was inappropriate and created an awkward mood.

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So don't worry and follow these super simple guidelines to give the perfect short speech at your best friend's wedding:

• Be brief.

Your speech is probably one of several that everyone may be looking forward to. Pick one great story and tell it well.

• Be careful.

If you think you're funny, get three confirmations of it, and then add a few more jokes. But don't overdo it. Forced jokes are always worse than calm but loving speech.

Dance

After the congratulations at every wedding, the decisive moment comes. The question looms: “Will anyone dance?”

Perhaps your most important task this weekend is to answer this question out loud: “Yes! Yes!"

Gather your friends, gather the people you just met. Get everyone on the dance floor.

The fate of the wedding depends on you. If you can organize lively dances, they will break down the barriers of awkwardness and maintain the energy of the wedding.

On a note

Congratulations by witnesses are a mandatory ritual. To make it look decent, the congratulatory speech should be prepared and rehearsed in advance. It’s good if some personal moments are mentioned in it, what you especially value in young people, and of course good wishes.

Many people ask the question: are witnesses needed at the registry office? In order to register a marriage - no. Although in some registry offices, as a tribute to tradition, witnesses are asked to sign. Nowadays, formally, a wedding can generally be done without witnesses. By the way, some couples actually refuse them. But most, nevertheless, cannot even imagine a wedding celebration without the company of best friends playing the role of witnesses.