How to organize a wedding without a wedding planner?

Preparation, Contractors, Articles December 7 The Bride

Thinking about the wedding budget and not being able to expand it, many couples decide to organize the wedding themselves, refusing the services of an agency or manager. Several recommendations that will help you cope with this difficult task are on the pages of The bride today.

Independent organization: pros and cons

Organizing a wedding on your own is a labor-intensive and complex process that takes a lot of time and takes a lot of effort. Remember this when making such a responsible decision to organize your own wedding. But this solution also has a number of advantages:

• • Full control of all stages of preparation, personal selection of contractors and elaboration of terms of cooperation, which means you will always be aware of the stages of preparation and all the nuances
• • Savings on the services of an agency, coordinator, manager, which means the opportunity to redistribute these funds to other items in the wedding budget
• • The ability to fulfill all your own ideas and distribute responsibilities between your couple and wedding professionals
• • Involving family and friends in the organization. Many couples want their whole friendly family to take part in organizing the wedding - mutual resolution of issues, exciting preparation and a result that was created entirely with their own hands

It’s worth thinking about all the pitfalls that await you along the way to the wedding of your dreams. Among the arguments “against” we can highlight a number of main ones:

• • A complete lack of understanding of the nuances of preparing for a wedding, the distribution of tasks throughout the entire preparation period, as well as specific wedding issues that only professionals know about
• • Inability to “see” the whole picture in full – selection of images that will be combined with the wedding style, decor and floristry, general work schedule and proper team control
• • Difficulties in choosing contractors – lack of professional opinion about the work of the photographer, videographer, presenter, etc.
• • Lack of time and resources
• • Significant expenditure of energy and nerves
• • Understanding that loved ones are not fulfilling the tasks assigned to them. This means that more and more tasks have to be done independently.

Therefore, we recommend starting independent preparation only for those brides who have a sufficient supply of time - from 7-8 months or more. To correctly distribute all tasks and have time to prepare everything that is needed for the wedding celebration.

Wedding

More and more young couples are inclined to have their wedding ceremony in a church. It is necessary to visit the church in advance and agree on the time of the wedding. The priest will also hold a conversation with the newlyweds about the rules for conducting the church ceremony. It is very important to know how to properly spiritually prepare yourself for the sacrament and how young people should be dressed.

The necessary attributes of the ritual are:

• wedding rings;
• 2 church candles;
• icons with images of Christ and the Virgin Mary;
• towel and scarves for candles.

After the ceremony, these items remain in the young family. It is believed that the wedding ceremony is not just a church custom, but a ritual that carries enormous power and helps spouses overcome all everyday trials together.

Number of guests

Self-organized weddings should not be too large - otherwise you risk not getting a beautiful and cozy family holiday, but a large number of dissatisfied guests, chaos and a couple of gray strands that you will acquire right at the wedding. Up to 40 people is an ideal number for a wedding, the organization of which falls on your shoulders. In addition to developing a concept and collaborating with contractors, you need to remember about your work, hobbies, don’t forget about your regular life, and not spend all your evenings and weekends preparing. Even at the initial stage, write down all the preparation points and distribute them by month, so you will already have an approximate timing.

Wedding ceremony

Not a single Russian wedding takes place without registry office workers. The official marriage ceremony is held in a special hall, accompanied by solemn music, in an elegant and fragrant atmosphere. If the newlyweds do not want the excitement around their painting, they can choose a weekday for registration and get married in a more casual setting.

But if the ceremony is solemn, then the walls of the registry office will accommodate all relatives and friends who want to attend your registration. The registry office employees approach the ceremony with trepidation. Each registrar has prepared his own beautiful and moving speech for the marriage ceremony. In the presence of guests and witnesses, the registry office employee asks a question about the reciprocity and voluntariness of marriage and, after exchanging rings, invites the newlyweds to sign the civil status act. After this, the newlyweds seal the bonds of marriage with their first marital kiss and spin in the wedding waltz.

All guests take turns congratulating the newlyweds. After this, they move to another room where they can drink champagne and take pictures. At the exit from the registry office, the newlyweds are greeted with friendly shouts of “Congratulations!” and sprinkled with rice, small coins and flower petals. Lovers release a pair of snow-white doves into the sky, symbolizing love and loyalty to each other.

Where to begin?

You should start preparing by determining your wedding budget. It is he who will make it clear what format and scale of the wedding you and your fiancé can afford, what style and place of celebration you can choose, whether there will be a grand ceremony or, conversely, a small ceremony. Try to choose professional wedding contractors and use early booking services - this way you will have the opportunity to get a discount and save money. The next stage will be the selection of specialists and the creation of a dream team, development of the wedding concept, its style, timing, and logistics.

Budget

Probably one of the most important points when organizing any holiday, and especially a wedding, is the financial side. You should immediately decide what exactly you want and calculate the approximate cost. Unfortunately, not all couples can afford a magnificent and luxurious celebration. Very often, in this case, their parents help the young people. And sometimes future spouses decide to arrange everything modestly and invite only the people closest and dearest to them. Some even make a wedding for only two people. But those who want and need a big holiday are forced to save up a little money and only then start preparing for the event. What kind of wedding day you want is up to you to decide; your budget will completely depend on this.

Distribution of duties

Clearly write down the points for which you will be responsible. The rest can be entrusted to the groom, your family and his family - this could be communication with the site administrator on additional organizational issues, selection of transport, show program, communication with the pastry chef, etc. Determine what is important to you and solve these issues yourself - choosing a photographer and videographer, developing a program with a presenter, communicating with a decorator and stylist. The rest of the issues can be simply controlled by involving family and friends to help. Meetings, calls, bookings, advance payments - mark everything that your “home team” does. To make it easier for assistants, you need to create a list of to-dos and questions with deadlines for each such task: for example, when you need to approve the menu, or order a car, how many guests need to be transported, or what toppings need to be ordered for a tasting set.

Bride ransom

Previously, the phrase “bride price” was not a metaphor at all! Indeed, the bride was bought from her parents' house.

Now money has faded into the background. The bride price, which is usually organized by the bridesmaids, takes place in the house of the girl's parents and includes competitions. By going through these competitions, the groom proves that he knows and loves the bride well, and the groom's friends should come to his aid.

This is how the wedding fun begins. Having gone up to the bride's house, the groom takes her to register the marriage. Usually, during the bride price and after it, the bride's parents arrange a small buffet.

Wedding organizer

A wedding organizer is an essential attribute of a bride who dreams of doing everything herself. Write down all your contacts and meeting schedules, ideas and desires, mark the dates and amounts of prepayments and subsequent payments, write down ideas and paste pictures and photos. The organizer must have:

• • Guest list, seating chart, sample invitation text
• • Important contacts and names – contractors and responsible persons
• • Wedding estimate: general and separate blocks of expenses
• • List of basic expenses
• • Logistics for yourself and guests
• • Timing, etc.

This way you will always have everything you need at hand. At any time, by looking at your notebook, you can refresh your memory of the entire to-do list, ideas and preparation details.

Other little things

Buy your favorite wedding rings, order a wedding cake. Think about how and with what you will decorate the banquet area if you have completely rented the premises. Think about the cars, how many are needed and whether they will be decorated. Most often, the cortege of young people consists of one ordered car, and the rest are cars of friends. If there is a bachelor and bachelorette party, then you need to think about where and with whom. Often newlyweds spend their wedding night in a hotel, so if you like this idea, then you need to choose a room and book it.

Now you have a ready-made plan of where to start your wedding preparations, how it goes and what needs to be done before the celebration, and we wish you a beautiful wedding and we hope that our step-by-step list will help in organizing the holiday of your dreams.

Venue and menu

When looking for a restaurant and place for the ceremony, pay attention to the main criteria: the style of the establishment, color scheme, location, reviews, pricing policy, the ability to bring your own alcohol and confectionery. If you are planning to decorate the space, avoid restaurants with bright ornate interiors, stucco moldings, and rich color schemes - they are the most difficult to match to a certain style. It is better to give preference to bright, high halls without columns, where both you and your guests will feel comfortable, and most importantly, which will not require a large amount of decor covering certain parts of the interior. As a venue for the ceremony, it is best to choose an open terrace or outdoor area, a beautiful restaurant hall - if we are talking about the cold season, or a veranda.

For a small home wedding, country clubs and cottages are suitable, even dachas and country houses that have sufficient space. There's nothing better than a cozy dinner al fresco in your backyard, under hundreds of light bulbs, with homemade pies and cocoa.

The menu in a restaurant should always be created, already knowing exactly the number of guests - this will allow you to save part of the wedding budget. Don’t forget to take into account the dietary habits of certain guests: for example, pregnant women, people with various diseases and allergies, in order to avoid unpleasant incidents during the festive dinner.

If the place allows, it is better to purchase alcohol and drinks yourself to save money. It is important to ask in advance if there is a corkage fee.

Action plan 3 months before the celebration

So, you have already decided on the special date. There are exactly 3 months left before the wedding. On the one hand, there is not much time, but it is quite enough to resolve basic organizational issues.

How to make a budget

No matter what the format of your holiday, you need to make a budget in any case. This will protect you first and foremost.

Let's consider all the details that will require the expenditure of funds:

• rent of a banquet hall;
• food, drinks for the banquet, plus cake;
• wedding dresses and accessories for them.
• hairstyle, makeup artist services, manicure, pedicure;
• wedding rings;
• decoration of the hall (balloons, flower arrangements, arches, decorations, etc.);
• transport for the bride and groom, as well as separately for guests;
• renting hotel rooms for guests;
• expenses for bride price;
• photo and video shooting;
• payment for the toastmaster;
• payment for wedding agency services (if applied);
• live music;
• marriage registration (state fee, champagne, refreshments for the outdoor ceremony);
• wedding, if there is one;
• payment for honeymoon;
• other small and unforeseen expenses (they will definitely be).

Of course, no one will tell you exact numbers. It all depends on personal needs, situation, number of guests and other details.

As an example, you can take approximate prices for different formats of celebrations. Let's present them in the form of a table.

Choosing a wedding venue

In the traditional version, marriage is registered in the registry office. But for the sake of originality, couples began to hold the official part more often in more interesting places. To do this, you need to discuss this issue with the registry office employees in advance. Checking in on the seashore will look very romantic.

The atmosphere will be incredibly pleasant for everyone. The beauty of the sea coast will fill your senses with bright colors and give you a good mood. You can organize the whole process even on a boat; this option is no less exciting and romantic.

If you want to get away from the bustle of the city, choose a country house. It is important that the area has good green spaces. If the newlyweds are among the extreme sports enthusiasts, then, as an option, the painting can be planned on the roof of the house. But this option has many limitations, since not all invitees will agree to climb to the heights. However, everything depends on the specific case and situation. The main thing is to follow safety rules.

When choosing a place, young people are primarily guided by their own wishes and level of imagination. But now, when there are 3 months left before the important event, it’s worth taking care of.

Submitting an application to the registry office

It is important to apply early. In this case, you can be sure that the desired date will be free. This formality is perhaps the most important and integral moment of the wedding.

Before you go to write a fateful application, collect all the necessary documents. You will definitely need passports; without them nothing will work. Also, don’t forget to bring your receipt for payment of the state fee.

If one of the spouses (or maybe both) was previously married, then you will have to provide a document on the dissolution of the previous union or a death certificate, if that is the reason for the termination of the relationship. It happens that a marriage is concluded with minors, in which case the parents will need to write written permission for such a marriage. Decide in advance about changing the bride's surname.

The registry office staff will need this information to prepare the document.

Choosing a place for a banquet

Everyone understands perfectly well that a lot at a wedding depends on the location of the celebration. Check out the restaurants in your city and decide what is closer to you and more affordable. After you have chosen something, you should visit the establishment and visually assess its condition and available space.

The main thing to pay attention to is:

1. Is there enough space to accommodate all guests?
2. Please pay close attention to convenience issues. For example, look at the condition of the bathroom, whether there are designated smoking areas, whether air conditioning is installed, etc.
3. Assess the general condition of the room. Immediately think about whether this hall design is suitable for your wedding.
4. Immediately ask the administrator if you can make your own adjustments to the design.
5. Talk about the menu. Write down everything in detail per guest. You may be able to purchase some products yourself, thereby saving your budget.
6. Immediately explain how many people will be present at the celebration. Will there be the required number of service personnel on the specified date?
7. Be sure to check with the administrator what rules and restrictions exist in this establishment. Maybe you will be able to come to an agreement and the management will change some of the prohibitions, for example, extending the closing time of the restaurant.

If you take into account all these nuances when choosing a place, then there is no doubt that it will be ideal in all respects.
Those couples who want to celebrate their wedding in a more extravagant way can organize a banquet outdoors. For this purpose, a tent or canopy is set up, and thematic decorations are placed. You can combine business with pleasure when choosing a banquet place on the ship. Just imagine how wonderful and romantic this day will be.

A boat trip and fun on deck...what could be better?

Choosing a wedding host

It is very important to make the right choice of host for the wedding, since the success of the celebration largely depends on this person.

The mood and festive atmosphere, entertainment program - all this falls on the shoulders of the toastmaster. You shouldn’t wait until the last day; it’s better to start searching for the right person about 3 months in advance. Be guided by the reviews of people you know and your personal impressions of communication.

Pay attention to speech, manner of communication and volume of voice. You yourself understand that a person who has speech impediments, who cannot normally connect two words, and besides, who speaks quietly, is unlikely to conduct your wedding with dignity. If the toastmaster does not mind, then you can ask to provide video examples of your work. In this case, you can really assess the level of professionalism.

Immediately discuss the appearance of the presenter. This is important because a clown costume or similar would not be appropriate.

If the role of toastmaster will be performed by a woman, ask what she will be wearing. There should not be anything provocative in appearance, since, as you understand, attention will be directed to the main heroes of the occasion.

Immediately discuss the scenario, what competitions and entertainment there will be. Make your own adjustments if necessary. A professional will be able to give you practical advice on any matter.

It’s great if the toastmaster has his own personal equipment. And, of course, check the rates per hour of work. Please note that truly talented people will not waste their energy, strength and time for pennies. But the prices should not be too high.

If both parties agree and come to a common understanding, then “book” the presenter without a doubt.

Design of wedding invitations

The preparatory process for the wedding should begin with the design and distribution of invitations.

There is no need to delay this procedure, because the closer you get to the celebration, the more likely it is that you will simply forget about this important detail. It will be quite difficult to arrange invitations in a hurry, and not all guests will be able to adjust their plans in such a short period of time to attend your celebration.

It would be best to send out postcards three months before the due date. To do this, you should already have a clear “list” of people who, in your opinion, should be present at the wedding.

You need to design cards in the chosen wedding theme.

The text can be written either manually or printed. The content can be anything you see fit, but it must include the date, place and time.

It is best to address guests by name - this shows respect. For originality, you can record a video invitation, designing it in some style.

For example, make a short film based on your love story. Tell us at the end when you will celebrate the event, at what time and where the collection “point” will be.

You can also download ready-made templates for invitations from the Internet and simply print them and sign them. It all depends on the theme of the wedding.

Wedding team

For the day to be perfect, you must be surrounded by the most reliable professionals - a photographer and videographer, a stylist, a presenter, a pastry chef, and show program masters. It is better to start looking for such people from wedding catalogs and magazines, which contain information about the style of work and price. At the first meeting, always ask as many questions as possible - work style, experience, examples of work, reviews, price packages.

When making an advance payment, do not forget to sign the contract - this will protect you from force majeure and allow you to return the money if its terms are not met. In preparation for the wedding, be sure to study with the contractors all the nuances of the site - the decorators and photographer will suggest the placement of the arch, the best arrangement of furniture, and the place for the bride's morning photo shoot.

Stay in touch with all contractors, but do not overdo it with control, give yourself the opportunity to rest and the contractors to work. This can be done easily if the team is carefully selected and includes only people you trust.

Mandatory Must Have: what you can’t save on

There are three things that it is better not to skimp on at a wedding: the appearance of the bride, the rings and the photographer (videographer).

If a dress and shoes can be bought or rented, then it is better to do makeup and hair in a salon with the skillful hand of a professional.

Rings are something that will accompany the rest of your life. It’s also better not to save on them, especially since it’s not a very good tradition to change wedding rings after the wedding.

Photos or videos are memories that will last a lifetime. Unprofessional photo or video shooting is fraught with blurry frames, spoiled photographs, and bad angles. A person who knows his business will turn wedding photos into a fabulous love story.

Wedding style and couple images

The wedding style should be chosen carefully so that it reflects the character of your couple, hobbies or memorable dates, moments, dreams. Boho, shabby chic, Provence, classic - dozens of variations on the wedding theme will allow you to decide on the direction that you can implement. When choosing a style, also be guided by the opportunity to choose appropriate wedding looks - for example, a short dress with bugles for a Gatsby style, a high-waisted lace dress like Natasha Rostova’s for a vintage wedding; tuxedo for a classic banquet.

When choosing a style, pay attention to the decor, floristry, room styling and program that is most suitable for a particular direction or theme of the holiday. For themed and stylized celebrations, this is a must-have that will help make your wedding special. But you can move away from a certain style and simply have a cozy celebration, as homely and warm as possible. Prepare garlands of light bulbs, candles, wildflowers and family photos.

Bridesmaids' dresses and shoes, headpieces or bracelets

It would be very conceptual to sew dresses from the same fabric for all the bridesmaids. This will allow the bride to stand out against their background, add solemnity and avoid the often-occurring discrepancy in colors and styles of bridesmaids’ dresses. You can invite girls to sew dresses of an individual cut, but of the same length and from the same fabric. After all, you call the tune. Also ask the girls to wear shoes of the same color. You can also decorate your friends’ hairstyles with arrangements of artificial flowers or make matching flower bracelets for their wrists. You can choose decor options together with your friends. Colors for dresses and jewelry should be in your “corporate color scheme.”

Wedding day coordination

If possible, we recommend leaving your wedding day coordination to a professional. Believe me, no matter how thorough the preliminary preparation is, there will be a lot of hassle on the wedding day! The coordinator will save you from dealing with many issues: from monitoring the delivery of the bride’s bouquet to meeting the guests. However, if cooperation with such a specialist is problematic, then you will have to control everything yourself:

• • Works of a decorator, florist and service personnel in a restaurant
• • Meeting and work of the presenter and artists of the show program
• • Make all important calls and clarifications regarding arrival time (bouquet, cake, etc.)
• • Resolve force majeure issues and all organizational issues that arise during the preparation process and the entire wedding day
• • Tell guests how to get to the venue

You definitely need to create a detailed timing of the day that will allow you to monitor the arrival of certain professionals, their working conditions and timely payment. Don’t forget 2-3 days before the wedding to make all follow-up calls again, clarify the time and place of arrival - information that is necessary for the competent planning of the whole day.

Each of these points contains a hundred nuances and sub-points that you have to solve throughout the entire preparation period. But it will be an interesting preparation!

Outdated

Getting married in old, new, borrowed and blue

This custom comes from England and dates back to the Victorian era, but some still adhere to it to this day. It says that every bride should wear something:

• from new;
• old;
• borrowed;
• and also blue.

Undoubtedly, the wedding dress was always new; it personified the light and purity of family ties.

Most often, some kind of jewelry from the mother or grandmother was taken from the old one, which was inherited. If family jewelry is not found, then it is quite possible to use something else, for example, a brooch or a chain from your mother. Such a thing became a symbol of the connection between generations; it carried the warmth of the parents invested in their daughter, which the girl should bring to her new family.

Borrowed items are things that were lent to the happy newlywed by her friends. They are needed as a symbol that next to the married couple and after their marriage there will always be relatives and friends who will provide support and come to the rescue at any time.

As blue, which in turn implies purity, honesty and fidelity, brides often used a garter. It is also a good idea to add the shade in question to your makeup or to your outfit, this could be a satin belt or elements on shoes.

Wedding Dress

Probably many people know that according to a long-standing tradition, the dress of the future wife should be white and new. Snow-white - symbolizes youth and innocence. That is why women who are getting married not for the first time often choose other shades of attire. The new is a kind of new life that begins from the moment of marriage.

The custom of wearing white as a wedding dress came to Russia from Europe, because in Rus' on such a day girls wore exclusively red sundresses, which meant maturity and was consonant with the word beautiful.

Fashion is changeable, so in the modern world, brides are increasingly abandoning a snow-white wedding dress. It was replaced by other sophisticated pastel shades such as champagne, tea rose, ivory and so on. And some even replace dresses with suits or overalls, which is the peak of popularity this season.

Availability of veil

Veils have been used as a wedding accessory for 2 thousand years. For example, in Rome, ladies hid their faces with just such an element, this showed their modesty, mystery and chastity. And only after the wedding was the man allowed to remove such a veil from his beloved. Russian brides, according to this tradition, must first get married wearing a veil, thus declaring their purity and purity. If it came to a second and subsequent marriage, then this naturally became unnecessary.

Of course, these days the custom in question has begun to be treated more simply, and the veil is perceived as a beautiful wedding attribute. After all, you can often see newlyweds with a tiara, headband, wreath or some other decoration on their heads.

Removing the veil

Quite an important, but outdated tradition at a wedding. They turn on a slow composition and at this time the mother-in-law replaces the daughter-in-law’s veil with a scarf. This action meant that the girl was moving from the status of a bride to the new status of a wife.

Bouquet and boutonniere

For a long time, the groom collected the newlywed bouquet on his own, picked it in the field or in his own garden. The modern bride is unlikely to allow her lover to choose a bouquet for her on his own, because it must match her festive outfit, accessories, etc. And since many girls still adhere to the belief that the future husband should not see her dress before the wedding, a priori a man will not be able to choose the right accessory in question.

On the wedding day, the bouquet plays an important role in the redemption. Having passed all the tests, the happy groom gives his chosen one a flower arrangement. Taking it in her hands, she agrees to the marriage, then the girl takes a flower from the bouquet and pins it on her beloved’s chest. This is where another custom came from - the presence of a wedding boutonniere, which was necessarily made up of the same flowers as the bride’s attribute.

Modern newlyweds make bouquets and boutonnieres from all sorts of things, from pine cones, berries, and twigs of dried flowers.

Farewell to single life

A fairly old tradition is organizing a bachelorette party on the eve of marriage. In Rus', girls gathered at the house of their future wife, combed her curls, visited the bathhouse and talked about the trials of married life. They did this in order to protect the bride from damage.

The custom of celebrating a bachelor party with friends appeared relatively recently. Indeed, in ancient times, the groom had to go to the bathhouse alone before the wedding.

How exactly you can celebrate a bachelorette party and a bachelor party, look for the links.

Bless the young

Touching upon the topic of traditions in Russia, of course, one cannot ignore such a long-standing custom as the blessing of parents. After all, according to our ancestors, it was after him that their children would definitely be happy in marriage. Each of the future spouses should be blessed by their mothers or godparents in the morning before the wedding.

Further, the wedding ritual in question will consist of 2 more stages. The first takes place before the painting in the registry office. The bride's parents bless her and the groom, most often this happens in the apartment of the future wife, after the ransom, but before leaving the house. After all, it was believed that a new life for lovers would begin just outside the threshold, which is why the first approval should happen before leaving the parental “nest.” The relatives of the girls wished the young couple a happy married life and uttered parting words, which was a kind of approval of the daughter’s chosen one.

It also happened that a couple received their first parental blessing on the day of matchmaking, but since in our days this tradition has almost exhausted itself, many young people receive approval already on their wedding day.

The second thing the lovers receive from the mother and father of the newly-made husband. It occurs after the registry office, but before the start of the feast. Relatives also give a touching speech and wish them happiness in marriage.

Sometimes the groom's parents can bless their son and daughter-in-law already during the celebration at the banquet. Their words can be in prose, poetry, a beautiful story about their child, and then there must be warm wishes for the family.

Ransom

For a long time, the ransom was exclusively financial in nature; the young man had to prove his worth, as well as demonstrate generosity and show that he did not grudge any money for his beloved. In the modern world, it’s already like a fun game, with funny competitions. Her bridesmaids are preparing. If a man cannot cope with the girls’ tasks, then he buys them off with money, candy, and so on. Of course, this is a purely symbolic amount.

These days, many couples refuse foreclosure altogether. A girl can get ready in a beautiful hotel, and the groom comes to pick her up there with a wedding bouquet and they go together to the registry office.