It would seem that there is nothing easier than writing down on a piece of paper everyone you want to see at your holiday. Oh, if only that were all! After writing your guest list, you will first realize that you didn't invite any of your parents' friends or distant relatives. Then add colleagues whom you may not like, but you need to call them. In the end, there will be so many people that the budget will not even be enough to feed them! That's when you need this article. She will help you understand how to create a wedding guest list so as not to forget anyone important and not go broke.
How many guests should be at a wedding and what does it depend on?
Of course, there is no single answer. Everyone proceeds from their financial capabilities and the format of the event:
- The main factor is the budget. It depends on him how many people can be invited.
- The second is the newlyweds’ views on what the wedding will be like. This can be an intimate event only for your own people, then the number of guests will not exceed 20 - 30 people. You can throw a grand party for a couple of thousand guests.
- Third is tradition. It may be customary for a family to celebrate such an event by inviting all relatives up to the fifth generation.
A subtle point when compiling a list is who pays for the wedding. If relatives of one of the couple do this, then their opinion has to be taken into account. But you shouldn’t turn a wedding into a holiday exclusively for relatives. If the wedding is paid for by the groom’s beloved grandmother, this does not mean that all her girlfriends will have fun at the banquet. After all, this is a wedding banquet, and the young people themselves must decide how to make a list of guests for the wedding, who to invite and who to exclude from the list.
Define the format
You don't have to have a wedding for three days to make it memorable . Young couples are increasingly choosing a modest outdoor ceremony, and then go on a trip right in their wedding dresses.
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Or they limit themselves to visiting the registry office, inviting a narrow family circle to celebrate this event in a restaurant.
One way or another, both options do not involve long torment over the topic of who to invite. Put the guest list aside: you can probably count the number of invitees on your fingers.
How to properly create a guest list
The newlyweds should create the list together. The views of the bride and groom on who to invite to the banquet can vary greatly. In this case, it is important to find a compromise. It is impossible for anyone to decide.
If the lists of friends and relatives of the future spouses do not coincide and include people who do not know each other, they should be approximately equal in number. Otherwise, it will turn out that in the banquet hall there will be one company and many guests who do not feel entirely comfortable. It is worth considering how many guests there will be from the bride and groom, whether they will be able to meet each other at the banquet, and whether they will participate in the program and competitions with the same interest. It is important to take into account the gender and age composition. Otherwise, it may turn out that cheerful students will be present on the groom’s side, and beloved aunts of retirement age will be present on the bride’s side. No, they, of course, will be able to find a common language, especially with the help of a professional toastmaster. But someone may remain dissatisfied.
You need two lists: who needs to be invited and who doesn’t need to be invited. If the groom categorically does not want to see, for example, a friend or the bride’s fifth cousin at the wedding, this point needs to be discussed and decided whether to invite this person or exclude her from the guest list.
Average number of guests per table per day
This is not a key indicator, and it is needed rather to understand the overall picture, what is happening in your establishment, what is the “fullness” of guests in general
This is also important for investors and for future business scaling, when you show a selection of data about the work and advantages of your format, concept
It's quite simple to calculate:
Of course, it is better to calculate the average number of guests at a table on weekdays and weekends separately. For the restaurant business, weekdays are from Monday to Thursday, and weekends are from Friday to Sunday.
For analysis, you need to collect data on the receipts, which we have already discussed above, and sort by the opening time of tables and days of the week. With the help of turnover analysis you will learn:
- Peak hours for your restaurant.
- Occupancy of the establishment in certain periods of time.
- Efficient use of room space.
- The validity of choosing tables for two, four, etc.
After the analysis, you will also understand whether you need special promotions for certain days or times. Let's say you find out that your table turnover is low. There are at least two reasons why:
- Few guests mean no advertising, or they come once and never return, that is, there are no regular visitors. Perhaps you don’t like the cuisine, service, etc.
- Too many guests - improper placement, size or ineffective use of tables. Plus you need to check the speed of service.
Who should definitely be invited?
The following must be present at the wedding banquet:
- parents of the newlyweds;
- close relatives: grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles;
- Close friends.
The degree of closeness and kinship is determined by the young. Perhaps the connection with someone has been lost, someone you simply don’t want to see at such a significant event. Your relatives themselves may not want to be present just because you are connected by ties of kinship. This list of those closest to you should only include those people whom you really want to see. Who should witness the creation of a new family.
Who should not be invited
If the budget and banquet hall for the wedding allow, the list of guests can be very extensive and include everyone - right down to the neighbors in the entrance. But you shouldn’t be so scattered and turn the wedding into a city holiday. Feel free to cross off the following categories from your wedding guest list:
- childhood friends, if you haven’t seen them for ten years or more;
- colleagues, unless you have close and sincere friendships;
- very distant relatives – second cousins’ nephews, etc.;
- friends of close relatives, if the newlyweds themselves do not know them.
You should not include people on your wedding invite list out of politeness or gratitude. If they are not your close friends, but simply did something nice for you, it is better to thank them in a different way. If someone has previously invited you to their wedding, but you do not think that this person is part of your close circle, there is no need to send an invitation out of gratitude. Perhaps you were at that event out of politeness, as someone's couple, or just because.
Dress code
If you are planning a themed celebration or want the guests’ outfits to be in the same style or color, then this must be announced in advance. For example, you can indicate in the text of the wedding invitation: “We will be glad if you support the idea (color) of our celebration in your outfits.” Don't forget to include your wedding color palette.
Particular attention should be paid to the dress code. To do this, you can indicate in the invitations the type of dress code for guests, there are only 5 of them:
- White Tie: men in tails, women in evening dresses. This strict dress code is suitable for very important and strict events.
- Black Tie: tuxedo for men, evening or cocktail dress for ladies. This is an ideal option for a classic wedding in a luxurious place, where among the invited guests there will be colleagues and business partners.
- Cocktail: men in formal suits, ladies in cocktail dresses. This option can be considered optimal for a celebration in any place and for almost any theme.
- Smart Casual: men in sweaters and jumpers, democratic jackets, chinos; ladies in cocktail attire. This dress code is suitable for a youth wedding, but even in this case it is worth clarifying that visiting in jeans is inappropriate;
- Costume look: this option is suitable for a strictly themed event. In such cases, it is worth indicating the period of history on which the emphasis is placed, or the topic. For example, Chicago of the 20s, or the theme of “Alice in Wonderland”.
If your wedding is completely informal, then you can also inform your guests about the absence of a dress code. Many will be glad to move away from the classics.
Who exactly doesn’t need to be called?
In very rare cases, former lovers happily come to the wedding. If you managed to maintain a friendly, warm relationship, then you can send an invitation to your ex-spouse or partner. But in the vast majority of cases there is no need to do this. There is no need to bring up the past and hurt yourself and others. In addition, not all people know how to leave grievances in the past. They can harbor a grudge and ruin the holiday.
The second category that can easily turn a wedding reception into a horror are people who abuse alcohol. Even if it is your closest friend or relative. If a person cannot control himself, let him stay at home. Although they say that no wedding is complete without a fight, why check the folk tradition and omens at your own celebration? Such guests can be invited to a ceremonial registration at the registry office, but not to a banquet.
American seating
| 1 In the USA, this type of banquet is called a buffet. This means that guests do not sit at laid tables, as is customary here, but they themselves go to long buffet tables with snacks and other dishes and help themselves to whatever their heart desires. |
| If you want to break tradition and offer guests a more democratic option for a wedding dinner, then this seating chart will come in handy. But be aware of the potential difficulties of a buffet banquet: there may be a line for food, and many guests may not appreciate your self-service idea. |
2BuffetReplacing it with a wedding buffet will help significantly save your budget and reduce the time of the banquet. We have already written about the advantages, disadvantages and features of holding a wedding buffet. |
| If you decide on such an unusual option for our country, then the arrangement of tables may look something like the one shown in the diagram. There may be no chairs at all, or you can provide soft sofas for those who want to sit down and relax. |
Special cases
A delicate question: who should be invited to a wedding - one person or a couple? The rules of etiquette say that you need to invite both spouses, even if you don’t know your other half. Before preparing an invitation, you can ask a friend, colleague or friend if his spouse will be against the visit.
Another point worth considering is inviting ex-spouses. If both people are close and dear to you, but are at enmity with each other, you do not need to make a choice in favor of one. It is better to invite both, but provide them with full and fun communication separately from each other. And, of course, seat them at tables as far away as possible, if the wedding banquet hall allows it. Of course, this only works for those who can control themselves and not turn the holiday into a tragedy.
Should children be included in the invitation list?
At the discretion of the newlyweds. Children bring liveliness and charm to any celebration, but they also require attention. If there are children on the list, you need to prepare a children's menu and age-appropriate entertainment for them. It is better not to take children under the age of 7 years to the official registration, but to a wedding banquet or outdoor ceremony it is fine. Leave a request Wedding Private event Birthday/anniversary Graduation Corporate party Reception Conference/forum Charity evening Romantic dinner Photo shoot Excursions Office rental
Beverages
If there are people at the wedding with a certain taste for alcohol, you will have to take it into account. When compiling a list of guests, write down their preferences in alcoholic beverages: for example, whiskey, cognac or liqueur, wine or champagne. This will make it easier for you to create a list for buying alcohol. For non-drinking guests, children or pregnant women, it is important to correctly calculate the amount of non-alcoholic drinks: about 1.5 - 2.5 liters in the hot season, and 1-1.5 liters in the cold season. Make sure that every table has a wide variety of drinks to suit every taste. It is also worth instructing waiters on timely service and serving drinks.
