The Jews are an ancient people who sacredly honor their traditions and zealously follow the tenets of their faith. A Jewish wedding in many ways remains the personification of those commandments that Moses left in the 13th century BC, and according to some sources, the origins of Jewish rituals and traditions go back even further, into the depths of centuries. Although many rituals changed over time - they were improved, outdated details were discarded and something new was added, traditional celebrations retained a unique national flavor.
Betrothal ceremony (erusin)
For a long time, the fate of the young was decided by parents with the help of matchmakers; among the Jews they are called yents. The agreement on the upcoming marriage was reached by the parents, and the newlyweds met for the first time only during the wedding ceremony - Chuppah. Nowadays, parents allow the bride and groom to meet before the wedding, but premarital relations are still not approved.
After the parents discuss all the issues related to the upcoming marriage, the groom comes to his betrothed’s father and asks permission to marry. This is the tradition. The groom pays a bride price in order to confirm his intentions.
But among Jews, ritual ceremonies associated with a wedding begin long before marriage. Sometimes quite a lot of time passes between the engagement and the wedding itself, so for some nationalities the bride and groom began their marital relationship before marriage.
Matchmaking and engagement rituals
Long holiday celebrations began with mandatory matchmaking. The consent of the young couple was not required for marriage - it was believed that good sons and daughters should be obedient to the will of their parents. Representatives of the groom talked about the candidate (very rarely the matchmaking was carried out by the groom himself). If consent was obtained from the girl’s relatives, a bride price was paid as a sign of serious intentions and proof of financial solvency.
Then the girl’s parents and representatives of the groom, or the groom himself, sat down at the table with the obligatory wine to discuss the details of the upcoming celebrations. The Jews were among the first to enter into marriage contracts. They specified both the size of the dowry and ransom, as well as the responsibilities of the future spouses. Particular attention was paid to abuse of wife and children. In the event of a proven violation of the terms of the contract, the marriage could be dissolved without long delays.
As a sign of consolidating the agreement reached, the mothers of the young people broke the plate. This meant that there was no return to the old life, just as it was impossible to glue dishes from fragments.
After resolving all the issues that arose, they organized an acquaintance of the bride and groom, always in the presence of a rabbi or respected people. It often happened that the newlyweds did not see each other until the wedding.
Nowadays such harsh conditions are found only in orthodox families. Usually young people get to know each other on their own and only then notify the older generation of their desire to start a family.
Jewish wedding traditions
Tenaim is considered the first wedding ceremony after betrothal among Jews. During the ceremony, a plate is broken as a symbol of the grief of the Jewish people over the destroyed temples of Jerusalem. Even on days of joy and celebration, they remember tragic events.
The wedding day is also not chosen by chance. It is not celebrated on the Sabbath, which lasts from Friday sunset until Saturday evening. Wedding rituals are not performed during Jewish holidays, such as the Jewish New Year. These days, not a single devout Jew works. Some Jews began the wedding ceremony immediately after the end of Shabbat, on Saturday evening.
Different Jewish nations had their own rules for designating the day of the Hupa ritual. The Mishnah suggested holding the wedding on Wednesday, so that the husband, having discovered his wife to be unclean, could immediately declare this in court on Thursday. In Poland, Bohemia and Austria, Jews combined the ceremony of marriage with the Shabbat meal to save money. Nowadays, many people hold weddings on weekdays during the week, unlike Russian weddings. But Sunday remains the most popular wedding day.
It is customary for the groom to buy a ring for the bride shortly before the wedding. It should be modest, without unnecessary decorations, engravings and stones, so that the surface of the ring is smooth and not demarcated by anything.
Breaking glass
After the bride has been given the ring or at the end of the ceremony (depending on local customs), the groom breaks the glass by smashing it with his right foot and the guests shout "Mazal Tov!" (Hebrew: “congratulations”) In some modern weddings, the light bulb can be replaced because it is thinner, easier to break, and makes a louder pop.
The origin of this custom is unknown, although many reasons have been given. The main reason is that joy must always be contained. This is based on two stories in the Talmud of rabbis who, seeing their son's wedding celebrations getting out of control, broke a vessel, in the second case a glass, to calm down. Another explanation is that it is a reminder that, despite joy, Jews are still mourning the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. Because of this, some read here the verses “If I forget you, O Jerusalem...” (Ps. 137:5). Many other reasons are given by traditional authorities.
Former Sephardi Chief Rabbi of Israel Ovadia Yosef has sharply criticized the way this custom is sometimes performed, arguing that "many ignorant people fill their mouths with laughter while breaking glass, shouting 'mazel tov' and invoking a beautiful custom meant to express our grief “over the destruction of Jerusalem” becomes a reason for frivolity.”
In Reform Judaism, a new custom has emerged for brides and grooms to break a wine glass together.
Visiting the Mikvah before a Jewish wedding
Meanwhile, the future wife is also preparing for the wedding ceremony. She visits a special pool - the Mikvah, where a cleansing ritual is performed for the start of a new family life. Nowadays, there are complexes that are not inferior in equipment to modern European-style sports clubs.
It is very important to undergo cleansing of both soul and body during the ritual. The girl undresses, takes off her jewelry, even wipes off her nail polish and gradually lowers herself into the waters of the sacred pool, reading a special prayer. There may be several immersions in water to achieve the full cleansing effect. Sometimes men also go to the Mikvah, only in the absence of women.
The bride is not alone in the Mikveh; other women of the family are present with her, who help her in carrying out the ritual. During cleansing, a conversation is held with the bride about family values and the female role in married life. An inexperienced bride is mentored by a respected and religious woman who imparts rich life experience to her.
Promises on paper
On this important day, the newlyweds also sign a kind of marriage contract called Ketubah. Essentially, it is a written promise by the groom to take care of the emotional and physical needs of his future wife, including purchasing clothes, obtaining food and other necessities. And this is far from a formality. To ensure that the husband keeps his promises, the wife is allowed access to this paper throughout their life together. In fact, the Ketubah is so important that the marriage ceremony cannot take place until the document is signed. Often it is designed as a real work of art, decorated with calligraphy and hand-drawn images.
The week before the Jewish wedding
It used to be that future spouses should not meet a week before the wedding. But now no one follows this tradition. Even in the old days, the young bride and groom fasted before the wedding ceremony, but now only the groom observes the fast, and even then only on the wedding day. Although there is also a rational grain in this custom - newlyweds enter family life completely cleansed and renewed. Religion plays a huge role in Israeli wedding traditions, but in the modern world, few Jews adhere to them as strictly as they once did.
Bride's Day
Shabbat is a special holiday that is reminiscent of a bachelorette party. Translated, it means “Saturday”. It is the day before the wedding when the bride's family, friends and loved ones throw a party for her. Men are not allowed to attend. Any girl who wanted to be there can do so without an invitation. Such an event is held with the aim of relaxing and supporting the bride before the big day. And at the same time remind her that everyone loves her very much. This is a very beautiful Jewish tradition that helps a large number of brides overcome their anxiety and fear before such an important event.
Jewish wedding ceremony (nisuin)
The main wedding ceremony of Chuppah does not necessarily take place in the Synagogue. It requires a rabbi and the chuppah itself, so this ritual can be performed in a variety of places. The rabbi himself can both conduct the ceremony and observe its performance by one of the respected relatives.
The chuppah is the canopy under which a couple of lovers sits during the wedding ceremony. It is built from four pillars and covered with cloth to create a semblance of a house, which the chuppah symbolizes. According to tradition, the groom is the first to enter under the chuppah, representing the owner of the house. Then, accompanied by the father or both parents, the bride enters under the canopy. This means that her husband provides her with shelter, clothing and assumes all maintenance obligations. Moreover, the bride appears in the “house” last, walking around her future spouse. There is no consensus on how many circles the bride should do. Some believe that once is enough, but Orthodox Jews insist on seven circles. It is customary among Ashkenazi Jews for the groom to cover his bride's face with a veil before she enters under the chuppah. This gesture symbolizes the husband's intention to protect his wife, and dates back to when Rebecca married Abraham.
This is followed by a ring or engagement ceremony. A Jewish wedding traditionally begins with the reading of blessings before the engagement ceremony. These blessings are first read over the wine, then the betrothal blessing begins. After the blessings, the newlyweds drink ritual wine. According to old customs, the groom presents the young man with a ring (it should be flat and simple) and pronounces solemn words. The groom places the ring on the bride's right hand on her ring finger. If traditions are strictly followed, the bride does not put a ring on her husband’s hand under the chuppah. Some people neglect traditions, while others do not break them, and the ring is placed on the groom outside the chuppah.
Blessings have a magical number of seven. They are read either by a rabbi or by respected men. It is a great honor to read a blessing for invited guests, so each person gets only one. The groom is given a glass of wine, from which he drinks after the blessings, after which the wine is given to the bride.
A very beautiful final tradition of a wedding ceremony is the breaking of a glass. Before breaking it, the glass is wrapped in cloth to prevent small fragments from scattering. The groom must crush the glass with his right foot. At this time, all the guests shout “Mazel tov!”, wishing the young couple a happy fate.
Circle
Simple gold wedding rings External chuppah in Vienna Groom breaks glass Dancing at a Jewish wedding in Morocco, early 19th century 1893 picture of a wedding procession in Russian locale Isaac Asknaziy According to Ashkenazi
tradition, the bride traditionally circles the groom three or seven times when comes to the chuppah
. This may come from Jeremiah 31:22, “The woman will surround the man.” The three outlines can represent the three virtues of marriage: righteousness, justice, and loving-kindness (see Hosea 2:19). The seven circuits come from the biblical concept that seven denotes perfection or completeness.[14] Sephardic Jews do not perform this ceremony.[18]
Increasingly, it is common in liberal or progressive Jewish communities (especially Reform, Reconstructionist, or Humanist) to change this custom for the sake of egalitarianism or for a same-sex couple.[19] One adaptation of this tradition is that the bride circles the groom three times, then the groom circles his bride three times, and then each circles the other (as in do-si-do).[20] The whirling symbolism has been reinterpreted to signify the central position of one spouse in relation to the other, or to represent the four imahot
(matriarchs) and three
avot
(patriarchs).[21]
Subtleties of a Jewish wedding
Jews do not have special wedding dresses. Usually the groom wears a black classic suit and tie. The bride wears a white dress, and the dress should be modest and closed. All men at the wedding, led by the rabbi, wear white skullcaps on their heads.
At the beginning of the wedding celebration, the Ketubah is signed - a marriage contract, which spells out all the responsibilities of the spouse and the amount that the husband pays to his wife in the event of a divorce. Also in the Ketubah, the husband confirms his consent to give his wife a divorce document - a get, which will allow her to re-enter into a legal marriage.
There is no special music for a wedding ceremony. Some play Wagner's Wedding March during the wedding, but this composer is known to history for his Nazi views. Therefore, the majority prefer light Jewish music, which carries the traditions and character of the Jewish people.
Many ethnic historians claim that the custom of throwing a wedding bouquet to bridesmaids originates from Jewish weddings.
Recommendations
- This article incorporates text from a publication now in the public domain: Singer Isidore; et al., eds. (1901–1906). "marriage ceremonies" Jewish Encyclopedia
. New York: Funk & Wagnalls. - ^ a b c d
Made in Heaven, A Guide to Jewish Weddings by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, Moznaim Publishing Company, New York/Jerusalem, 1983, Chapter 18 - Talmud Bavli, Ketubot, page 2
- "Jewish wedding traditions." Archived from the original on 2010-07-27. Retrieved 2010-07-28.
- “Is the Ketubah contract legal or is it just a ceremony?” Ketubah 4 You
. - "Jewish wedding ceremony of Rabbi Mordechai Becher."
- Made in Heaven, A Guide to a Jewish Wedding by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, Moznaim Publishing Company, New York/Jerusalem, 1983, Chapter 21.
- "Chuppah." Jewish-wedding-planner.com. Retrieved 2012-11-09.
- “Viewing chuppah lists and searching for Simchas lists.” jewpro.co.uk. Retrieved 2012-11-09.
- This article incorporates text from a publication now in the public domain: Singer Isidore; et al., eds. (1901–1906). "Veil". Jewish Encyclopedia
. New York: Funk & Wagnalls. and Wedding Ceremony Guide - "Made in Heaven", A Guide to Jewish Weddings by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, Moznaim Publishing Company, New York/Jerusalem, 1983, Chapter 17
- "Badeken - Pokrov". Chabad.org
. Chabad-Lubavitch Media Center. Retrieved January 20, 2022. - "Badeken - veil, a guide to a Jewish wedding."
- ^ a b
"OzTorah" Blog Archive "Guide to the Jewish Wedding Ceremony." - Cinnamon, Karen. “What is the correct order of procedure for a Jewish wedding ceremony?” Breaking glass
. Breaking glass. Retrieved January 15, 2022. - Zilberberg, Naftali. "Escort Chupa." Chabad.org
. Chabad-Lubavitch Media Center. Retrieved January 15, 2022. - Unknown. "Procession". Chabad.org
. Chabad-Lubavitch Media Center. Retrieved January 15, 2022. - Made in Heaven, A Guide to a Jewish Wedding by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, Moznaim Publishing Company, New York/Jerusalem, 1983, Chapter 19
- Herman, Jane E. "12 Rituals You'll See at a Jewish Wedding." ReformJudaism.org
. Union for Reform Judaism. Retrieved August 26, 2022. - Thaler, Valerie S. "Updating the Traditional Jewish Wedding." My Jewish Education
. 70 / Faces. Retrieved August 26, 2022. - Malcolm, Sheila. "Jewish Wedding Rituals Explained." Boulder JCC
. Retrieved August 26, 2022. - Ketuboth 7b
- ^ a b
"Made in Heaven", A Guide to Jewish Weddings by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, Moznaim Publishing Company, New York/Jerusalem, 1983, chapters 20 and 21 - M.J.L. "All about Jewish wedding rings." My Jewish Education
. 70 Faces Media. Retrieved January 15, 2022. - Lamm, Maurice. "The Marriage Ring in Judaism." Chabad.org
. Chabad-Lubavitch Media Center. Retrieved January 15, 2022. - Zilberberg, Naftali. "Halakhic requirements for a wedding ring." Chabad.org
. Chabad-Lubavitch Media Center. Retrieved January 15, 2022. - ^ a b
The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage, Rabbi Maurice Lamm, Harper & Row, 1980, chapter 15 - "Jewish wedding ring." Judaism.about.com. 2009-12-17. Retrieved 2012-11-09.
- Dovius, Mane (17 January 2010). "מון". מון אירועים, (מון סטון)
. www.moon-events.co.il. Retrieved June 14, 2016. - Marlena Thompson. "Jewish Life Cycle/Rituals: Marriage." Jewishfederations.org. Retrieved 2015-10-11.
- “Shalom! Rabbi Dina Hasid will have mercy on the marriage.” Rabbi-mercy.com. 2009-02-18. Archived from the original on 2012-03-10. Retrieved 2012-11-09.
- "June 2010, Reimagining the Jewish Wedding." Shmadigital.com. 2010-06-03. Archived from the original on 2012-03-10. Retrieved 2012-11-09.
- Chaplain (CPT) Shlomo Shulman (06/30/2001). "A Guide to a Jewish Wedding: Jewish Wedding Program, Jewish Wedding Traditions, Chuppah, Ketubah." Aish.com. Retrieved 2012-11-09.
- "Jewish Wedding Guide" SomethingJewish.co.uk. 2012-09-30. Retrieved 2014-07-08.
- "Jewish wedding" Beingjewish.com. Retrieved 2012-11-09.
- “Crash... and mazel tov.” Cleveland Jewish News. 2011-10-05. Retrieved 2014-07-08.
- ^ a b
"Made in Heaven", A Guide to a Jewish Wedding by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, Moznaim Publishing Company, New York/Jerusalem, 1983, chapters 20 and 22. - Berachot 30b-31a
- "Senior Israeli Rabbi Slams Glass at Weddings." National news of Israel. 2010-02-13. Retrieved 2012-11-09.
- "Ichud - a romantic oasis - Weddings."
- "Marriage". Jewishvirtuallibrary.org. 1996-11-08. Retrieved 2012-11-09.
- Yosef Kafih, Halihot Teiman
(Jewish Life in Sanaa), Ben-Zvi Institute - Jerusalem, 1982, pp. 143 and 148 (Hebrew);
Yehuda Levi Nachum, Mitzefunot Yehudei Teman', Tel Aviv, 1962, p. 149 (Hebrew) - Isaac ben Abba Mari, Sefer HaIttur
—Part 1,
shaar sheni
,
Hilchot Birkat Hatanim
(Lvov, Ukraine 1860).
Text: “Now the chuppah
is when her father passes her to her husband, bringing her to that house where there is some new innovation, such as sheets ... surrounding walls” (וחופה היא שמוסר האב ומכניסה לבעלה לבית שיש " All rights reserved. שניהם והיא שקורין טלמ»י בלע»ז) - Jerusalem Talmud, Sotah
9:15 (46a), text: “These bridal chambers, (
Chuppoth Hathanim
), in them hang patterned sheets and ribbons embroidered with gold.” וסהרוני זהב תלויין בהם) - ^ a b
"Jewish wedding rituals". - "Birkat HaMazon - Jewish Encyclopedia."
- Lavin, Talia (November 27, 2013) "For Many Agunot, Halakhic Prenaps Won't Break Their Chains, " Jewish Telegraphic Agency
. Retrieved December 26, 2022. - Hoffman, Lawrence A. "The Jewish Wedding Ceremony." Life Cycles in Jewish and Christian Worship, University of Notre Dame Press, 1996, pp. 129–153.
- https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/476754/jewish/Approved-Dates-for-a-Wedding.htm
Wedding feast
Believing Jews, following traditions, organize a holiday separately for men and women, eating only kosher food during the feast. There are also those who change the menu and serve vegetarian or fish dishes to guests, and kosher dishes are prepared for some guests. To avoid unpleasant moments during the feast, it is better to fully comply with tradition and treat guests to traditional food.
Depending on your ethnic group: Ashkenzi or Sephardi, different dishes may be present on the wedding table. Ashkenazis fry chicken and serve it with potatoes and various vegetables. Sephardim cook lamb or chopped chicken along with couscous (rice), generously sprinkled with spices and seasonings.
The further wedding ceremony is similar to the weddings of other nations. The holiday should be fun and on a grand scale. All wedding guests must dance the national Jewish dance - Hora. Men congratulate the newlyweds, give parting speeches, and present gifts. At the wedding there is music, depending on religion it differs in different families. Orthodox Jews accompany the wedding celebration only with national Jewish music, while others listen to mixed playlists consisting of modern and traditional musical compositions.
Badkhen is still present at many weddings - jester, buffoon, toastmaster in literal translation. He is the one who entertains all the guests during wedding ceremonies.
For seven days, the newlyweds continue festive feasts for the health of the young. Each time, new guests are invited who have not yet congratulated the newlyweds. After the end of the feasts, the couple in love can enjoy each other’s company during their honeymoon, because during the wedding they had no time to be alone.
Seven blessings
On Sheva Berachot, or the seven blessings, are recited by the hazzan or rabbi, or by selected guests who are called upon individually. Being called to recite one of the seven blessings is considered an honor. The groom is given a cup of wine to drink after the seven blessings. The bride also drinks wine. In some traditions, the cup is brought to the lips of the groom by his new father-in-law, and to the lips of the bride by her new mother-in-law.[35] There are different traditions regarding whether additional songs need to be sung before the seven blessings.
When the newlyweds returned, the dancing began
As soon as Sophia and David returned to the guests, the dancing began, and the center of attention of the dancers was the newly-made husband and wife. It was then that I saw what the famous Jewish wedding dance on chairs was. Young boys and grown men instantly sat David on a chair and lifted him up to loud cheers, the same fate awaited Sophia, but girls and women carried her on the chair - an amazing sight, I tell you.
Scientists are looking for answers: what food will remain edible after thousands of years
Coconut cake with vanilla cream and chocolate spread: a light dessert recipe
Fish and 9 other products that can replace masks and hair conditioner
What surprised me most was that in a Jewish wedding there is no such thing as the first dance of the newlyweds, since during the festivities women are forbidden to move to the men’s part of the hall and vice versa. However, no one forbids spying on each other.
Notes
- ↑ 1 2 Kaplan Rabbi Aryeh.
Made in Heaven, A Jewish Wedding Guide. — New York / Jerusalem: Moznaim Publishers, 1983., Chapter 18 - Aside from Chuppah, it can also be accomplished by consummation; however, this is discouraged (Kaplan, Ibid.).
- [www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/481263/jewish/The-Chupah-Marriage-Canopy.htm The Chupah - Marriage Canopy] on Chabad.org
- [www.streamingchuppah.com/ Streaming Video For Weddings in Israel]
- Abraham P. Bloch, The Biblical and historical background of Jewish customs and ceremonies
(KTAV Publishing House, Inc., 1980), p. 31-2 - Life 24:67
- ↑ 1 2 3 4
Abraham P. Bloch,
The Biblical and historical background of Jewish customs and ceremonies
(KTAV Publishing House, Inc., 1980), p. 32 - ↑ 1 2
Rabbi John Rayner,
Guide to Jewish Marriage
(London: 1975), p. 19-20 - Levush, 54:1; Aruch HaShulchan, 55:18.
