Mom is the most important person in the life of every bride.
The girl she remembers as a very small girl is on the threshold of a new life. Therefore, the most important and most sincere on this day are congratulations and words of blessing from the mother of the bride. The origin story of the blessing. A blessing is a kind of permission to do something. Even in Rus', any significant event began with the words of blessing from the parents. A blessing is a “good word”, an approval of an action.
The ritual was performed with the icon.
Why is parental blessing for marriage so important?
Orthodox teaching, dating back to the Old Testament, advises children to honor their parents. This commandment was given by the Lord to the prophet Moses on Mount Sinai:
“Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Ex. 2-:12).
After reading this commandment, we see that only a reverent attitude towards father and mother allows children to live a long and happy life. It’s not for nothing that old people say: “As a son treats his mother, so he will treat his wife.” Even before the wedding, it is advisable for every girl to find out how her future husband treats his family and whether he respects them.
In Orthodoxy, from time immemorial, it has been believed that the foundation of family happiness lies more in the relationship between children and parents than between spouses.
Modern children often do not listen to the advice of their mothers and fathers and want to live at their own discretion. They don't listen to adults' advice, so they make a lot of mistakes. No matter how much children want to go their own way, parents are always responsible for them.
Therefore, when releasing the young into an unknown life, they give their parents parting words. And the blessing of the father and mother is the most valuable inheritance that a child receives from his relatives.
Many young people get together and live without receiving the blessing of their parents. This is a great sin, which is why there are so many divorces.
Until quite recently, our ancestors did not begin any important business without parental blessing: before traveling to distant lands, before a military campaign, before a large contract or building a house.
Both parents gave the blessing, and if they died, then the grandmother, grandfather, godparents or older sister could give parting words. If there were no relatives, then they took the prayer from the priest.
But they never neglected this holy cause. One of the relatives took the holy image in his hands, then made the sign of the cross over his child, giving consent to a good deed.
Required attributes: icon and towel
To perform this ritual, you need to prepare an icon and a towel. Perhaps it will be an icon, which, as before, was passed from mother to daughter on the wedding day. You can also purchase a new icon and, after the blessing, give it to the newlyweds. If they not only register a civil marriage, but also get married, then the icon with which the blessing was performed must be taken with them for the church ceremony.
“The icons that are used in wedding rites have special energy and power. Therefore, every married couple should carefully preserve and honor them.”
A wedding towel can be purchased or embroidered in advance with your own hands. According to tradition, the bride had to embroider the wedding towel. But in modern conditions, this matter can be entrusted to your mother, grandmother or a familiar needlewoman. The main thing is to follow the rules for applying patterns and designs characteristic of this traditional wedding attribute. The symbolism of the towel is very important, since each element embroidered on the towel carries its own sacred meaning and shapes the future of the new married couple.
Consent to marriage
A strong Russian Christian custom was to give consent to marriage. First, the bride and groom were blessed on the day of matchmaking. The groom and his matchmakers came to the bride's house, where the matchmaking ritual took place. The ceremony lasted a long time. The bride's relatives did not agree suddenly, finding all sorts of reasons. This is how it has been done since ancient times.
When, finally, the bride’s parents gave their consent to the wedding, both parties took into their hands iconographic images of the Savior and the Virgin Mary. Then the blessing began: the groom - in the image of the Savior, and the bride - in the image of the Mother of God.
The future newlyweds kissed the image three times. Then these icons remained with the young people. It was they who became the family shrine, which they then passed on to their children.
Daughter's blessing for marriage
Already at home, mothers also gave farewell words to their daughters. For a daughter, her mother’s blessing was a strong protection against family troubles and various diseases. By giving consent to the wedding and further family life, the mother shows that she agrees with the choice of her child and accepts the groom into the family.
If this ceremony was not performed, then disagreements could arise between the parents and the groom. After all, the parents did not give their blessing for the marriage, which means that in the future the daughter can do without the help of her father and mother.
But a wise parent would rather accept her daughter’s choice than become the culprit for her misfortunes if they happen in the future.
Before the wedding, an icon of the Mother of God is taken. The mother baptizes her daughter, lets her kiss the image three times, and gives good parting words. The father also gives instructions to his child. As a rule, the daughter takes this icon with her to her new family.
When the groom comes for the bride, both of them receive a blessing from their parents, kneeling in front of them. A blanket is laid on the floor, on which the future husband and wife stand.
The mother holds the icon, turning her face towards the young. What words should parents say? They speak the words that come from the heart. There is no need to memorize it specially. At such a touching and exciting moment, all the memorized words can fly out of your head. If after the registry office the newlyweds go to a wedding, then the parents take this icon to church.
Important! You cannot hold the icon with your bare hands, otherwise there will be no happiness. It's better to take it with a towel.
Words for blessing
Some mothers are lost, not knowing what to say at such a crucial moment. There are options for parting phrases, for example:
- “I pray for you, daughter, to our Lord, I give you my maternal blessing. God bless you from insults and quarrels, may St. Nicholas the Wonderworker pray for you.”
- “I wish you to love each other, be kind, generous. Be one, accept God’s gifts with great gratitude.”
- “My daughter, I bless you for a long happy life, prosperity, family happiness. Be healthy and loved by your husband"
The mother always reads a prayer. The prayer is read to Archangel Barachiel, the patron saint of pious families, Nicholas the Pleasant and other saints.
Revival of an ancient tradition
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The generation of atheists that our grandparents raised refused to believe in any signs. It was believed that “grandmother’s superstitions” were not needed by young and ambitious people. Perhaps they were right in some ways. But life constantly adjusts people’s ambitious plans: never in the history of Russia have there been so many divorced marriages. Previously, marriages were strong, families were friendly, and family members were healthy. In our time of innovative technologies and industrial paradise, families fall apart, children often get sick, and people’s psyches are damaged by permissiveness and lack of moral standards.
Parental blessing is not an empty and beautiful word, but a powerful energetic protection for many generations of relatives. This is the most powerful amulet that can exist. In the old days, no one dared to get married without the blessing of their parents. Such marriages were considered doomed. Is this why after the revolution, when old traditions were abolished, marriages became fragile? At the beginning of the 21st century, the institution of marriage has undergone significant changes, and no one is surprised that men and women live together without registering with the registry office. But even after official registration, not all couples maintain their marriage and separate.
The Church is making every effort to revive the institution of marriage in modern Russia, carrying out educational and pious work. Wedding ceremonies in the cathedral become the norm, and the parental blessing takes on its former meaning and becomes necessary for the bride and groom.
Ceremony at the groom's house
Before the painting in the groom's house, parting words are usually given by the father and mother. To bless a son, an icon of Jesus Christ or an image of the Kazan Mother of God is taken.
Most often, to bless a son, they use the image of the Savior, where He holds the Gospel in one hand, and with the other hand blesses the one who stands in front of the image.
Believers read an Orthodox prayer or say parting words. Parents advise to take care of each other, remain faithful, live in harmony, and do not forget to thank the Lord for giving them the happiness of being together.
First, the son receives a blessing from his mother, and then from his father:
- In the groom's house, bread is placed on a table covered with a tablecloth, salt and water are placed, and a candle is lit next to it. The mother rebaptizes her son with the icon and lets him kiss it three times.
- Then the father takes his son by the hand and leads him around the table three times. The mother follows them, holding in her hands an icon of the Savior and a burning candle.
So the son receives support from his entire family. After this, the groom goes to pick up the bride.
Appeal to St. Nicholas the Wonderworker
Since Saint Nicholas was the father of three girls, whom he was able to marry only after much suffering, it is he who should offer a prayer for his daughter to marry.
- I ask you, Most Holy Nicholas, for your beloved child (daughter’s full name) and I trust in you. Help my daughter to quickly meet her chosen one, who would be measured and honest, faithful and kind. And protect my child from marriage with a sinful and lustful, careless and demonic man. Amen!
How to greet with a loaf of bread
Today, newlyweds with a loaf of bread are most often met where the wedding will take place. But according to Russian custom, the meeting of the newlyweds should take place in front of the entrance to the groom’s house. After all, a young wife is part of her husband’s family.
As a rule, people cannot assign roles, who will hold the loaf and who will hold the icon. There is no difference in this.
Here is an example of the distribution of roles at the entrance to the room where the celebration will take place:
- The icon is with the groom's father, and the loaf is with the bride's mother. Other parents are standing nearby.
- Mothers hold icons, and fathers hold a loaf of bread and champagne.
- In the hands of one of the mothers is an icon, in the other - a loaf. Fathers are nearby.
Read the text of the Orthodox prayer for love and happiness in the family
“Don’t be afraid, little flock! “I am with you and no one else is with you.”
Most Blessed Lady, take my family under Your protection. Instill in the hearts of my husband and our children peace, love and non-questioning of all that is good; Do not allow anyone from my family to experience separation and difficult parting, to premature and sudden death without repentance.
And save our house and all of us living in it from fiery ignition, thieves' attacks, every evil of the situation, various types of insurance and devilish obsession.
Yes, we too, collectively and separately, openly and secretly, will glorify Your Holy Name always, now and ever, and forever and ever. Amen.
What to do with images after the wedding?
The bride must carefully preserve the image with which her mother blessed her back in her parental home. The groom does the same with his icon, because they will forever remain the most valuable relic of their young family. Both icons should be wrapped in a towel and it is better not to expose them to prying eyes.
The newlyweds will also bless their children with these images. They contain very powerful energy, so these icons will bring happiness and health from generation to generation.
appearance history
In the old days in Rus', young people asked their parents for their blessings for their wedding. Blessing in this context meant approval for marriage and permission for a son to marry a daughter. Marriage without parental blessing was not approved by society and was considered unhappy.
moral In addition to moral support, the blessed young people also received material support for their marriage, in the form of a dowry, titles, inheritance and privileges. Moreover, this material parental component of blessing extended to the future offspring of children, to their young ones.
Therefore, not a single wedding in Rus' was complete without such an important ritual. And the groom without parents’ approval did not dare either to matchmaking or to have a wedding
With the change in life, customs invariably change. Such changes also affected the ritual of parental blessing before the son’s wedding. If before, the groom received it twice - before and after the wedding. Today, more often than not, young people limit themselves to one thing - a blessing on the threshold of a loaf of bread at the groom’s house (or in front of a cafe, restaurant, banquet hall), sometimes before the wedding. And the feast completely misses this wedding Modern.
stage, newlyweds are no longer so attached to folk beliefs. They are not afraid of the thought that without the prayers of their parents, their marriage will be doomed. Young people often live together before registration, without informing or asking their parents for their approval, submitting an application to the registry office.
This, however, does not apply to all couples. And those who do not think of a marital union without a wedding in the church try to receive a parental blessing.
Another prayer to the Most Holy Matrona
But there is another option for how to get your daughter married with the help of a prayer to the old woman Matrona. True, in this case, you will first need to light three candles bought in the church, imagine your daughter’s happy marriage with a good and caring man, and only then whisper the words of the prayer to yourself.
- Oh, blessed old lady, Mother Matrona! I ask you, protect my beloved child (daughter’s full name) from a destructive marriage, and in return send her a good chosen one. And I beg you, let him be unmarried and not rich, not heavy-handed, not drinking and not partying. Let them live happily according to the laws of God, glorifying God the Father, His Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Plot for daughter's marriage
In addition to prayers, there is also a mother’s conspiracy to marry off her daughter. If the mother reads his words, then the man who is connected by fate with the girl will appear in her life as soon as possible and make her happy. And for the ritual to work, you will need to go out into the open early in the morning, face the rising sun and say the magic words.
- Far, far away, beyond the seas and oceans, in a copper city and in a wooden tower, there is a good fellow, who is chained with 10 chains and locked with 10 doors. And only my kind word can free this good fellow, and then he will quickly rush to his betrothed. Therefore, I, dear mother (your full name), speak to this young man for his love for the red maiden (daughter’s full name). And now he won’t want to walk or have fun without her, and now he won’t be able to live without her even in his parents’ house near his mother and father. She will appear to him in a dream and in reality, he will see her both in the dark of midnight and on a bright day. Without her, he will not see joy and comfort will not come to him. So my word came to an end, and my red daughter (daughter’s full name) came to a beginning.
