Since ancient times, all wedding preparations began only after the matchmaking ceremony of the groom’s parents and the conspiracy. Nowadays, this ritual is not given much attention, but gradually it is beginning to come into fashion again. At its core, this is a rather touching event that requires some preparation.
Young people approach it responsibly, write cool scripts and play various games. An integral part of matchmaking are competitions for the groom, the task of which is not only to create a fun atmosphere, but also to test the young man’s ingenuity and strength.
Preparing for matchmaking
For everything to go well, you should draw up a script for the event in advance. It can be modern, with lots of cool ideas. Or traditional. It all depends on the personal preferences of each family. You can watch a video that will tell you how best to cope with the upcoming task. It is customary to conduct matchmaking at home, in a family environment.
Make a menu, the table should be rich. Prepare a variety of dishes so that the groom's relatives can enjoy the treat. It is traditional to meet matchmakers with a loaf of bread and salt. To create a good mood, you can turn on music and organize dancing. The modern scenario in this regard is no different from that adopted by our ancestors.
According to tradition, the groom must give a bouquet of flowers to the bride and her mother. There is no need to give large and expensive gifts to the bride's family; it is enough to limit yourself to fruits and sweets. Traditionally, the groom's family should prepare the loaf. But if you want to please future relatives, here is a list of possible gifts for a woman:
- Silk scarf or warm shawl.
- Expensive perfume. But you should not give preference to this gift if you do not know about the preferences of the person to whom you plan to give it.
- Book. This could be a collector's edition that will delight a literature fan.
- Home decor: figurine, vase, photo frame.
What suits a man:
- Wine, elite cognac and other alcoholic drinks.
- If a person smokes, buy expensive cigarettes for him.
- Tools for the home.
- Technique.
- Car accessory.
Gifts should be practical. You should not spend a lot of money if you are not entirely sure that your gift will please the person.
Dowry
At matchmaking, it is customary to agree on the size of the dowry . In Rus', collecting a dowry traditionally began long before the wedding. It usually includes dishes, towels, and bed linen. You can buy household appliances if your budget allows. These items will be useful to the bride and groom in their future life together.
Let's test the groom
Men should always be more self-possessed, more resilient, stronger. So, before you give your bride to a young man, you need to check what he really is like. The groom is blindfolded. The following sets are placed in separate piles in front of him: a wooden block and a saw; block, hammer and nail; ax and log; a block with a crooked nail hammered in and pliers. At the command “let’s go,” the groom’s eyes are untied, and he must complete each task in turn. You just have to do everything quickly, supposedly you need to meet it within a certain time. So, when the groom deftly and quickly saws a block of wood, hammers a nail, splits the log into 4 parts and pulls out a crooked nail, everyone will recognize him as a real man, for whom they can marry a beautiful bride.
Matchmaking scenario
A correctly drawn up script guarantees a successful celebration and will bring a lot of pleasant emotions, which is why it is so important to pay attention to it. Here are the main stages of the event.
- The matchmakers arrive at the bride's house. They are greeted with songs and ditties.
- Relatives get to know each other. The groom gives the gifts he brought and treats his betrothed's parents to a loaf of bread.
- After introductions, guests are invited to a set table.
- The bride comes out to the guests, whose parents describe her positive qualities, praising their daughter in every possible way.
- At this stage, it is customary for the groom to confess his feelings to the bride and give her a ring.
- If the bride's parents agree to the marriage, then the matchmaking can be completed with fireworks and dancing.
Traditions and importance of the ritual
Previously, lovers could not marry without parental approval. The church refused to marry them. It was believed that observance of customs and a fun meeting was the key to a rich life for the newlyweds. People believed that the ancestors would look after the couple and ward off troubles.
Matchmaking requires two parties to agree on a wedding. Parents discussed the number of guests from each family, the location of the celebration, the menu, material costs and other subtleties. They discussed the goals of the young people, attitudes towards children and careers. We agreed where the couple would live.
The main traditions of matchmaking are still relevant today. These include:
- The loaf is a symbol of the ritual. The matchmakers brought it and gave it to the owners of the house. After a successful matchmaking, the bride divided this bread into slices and treated those present. There should not be a crumb left from the loaf, then the couple’s life will be happy.
- The towel is the second important symbol. It would be better if the future wife embroidered it. If the girl gave her consent, she tied her mother-in-law’s towel on her hand.
- If she refused, the matchmakers received a pumpkin from her. Often this vegetable was left in the corner in advance to intrigue guests.
- The young father joined the hands of the lovers, giving instructions and blessing.
Matchmaking: progress of the event
The arrival of matchmakers is agreed upon in advance by both parties . There are favorable and unfavorable days. Numbers three, five, seven and nine bring happiness and good luck. Try to invite guests on one of these days. It is not advisable to conduct matchmaking on Maslenitsa. Also try to avoid the thirteenth.
Matchmakers should be greeted cordially so that they feel the comfort and hospitality of your home. The bride comes out to the guests only after they sit down at the table. Her relatives should praise her. It would be appropriate to make a toast to the happiness of the young. As a rule, it is pronounced by the oldest and most respected member of the family. The toast can be prepared in advance so as not to get confused at the event.
In turn, the groom must prepare a speech in advance in which he confesses his love for the bride and demonstrates his feelings. After confession, he must solemnly ask for the hand of his chosen one from her parents. Having received a blessing from the elders, the matchmakers take the young couple to the center of the room and join their hands. The groom puts a ring on the bride's finger . It is believed that it should be decorated with a precious stone. If you believe in the energy that stones possess, then first read about their properties. Try to choose a light-colored and not very bulky stone.
Matchmaking in Kuban is noisy and fun. It is no different from the holiday in other regions of Russia. But it is worth taking into account the traditions of each nation, which may differ from each other. The modern scenario may be different from the traditional one. The most important thing is to have fun and be happy for the happiness of the young people.
How does the bride price work?
If the candidates are satisfied with each other, then the traditional wedding ceremony continues. The next stage is communication between the parents of the boy and girl. On it, the father reports the amount of dowry that he demands for his daughter. Kalym is a kind of ransom.
It can be calculated in monetary terms, jewelry, real estate, or livestock. A father has no right to give his daughter in marriage without a dowry. The groom must give the bride price to his father-in-law even before the official ceremony, several days in advance. In this case, the traditional Tatar wedding continues.
What to talk about at matchmaking
Matchmaking on the part of the bride, what to tell relatives, what should you ask the groom's family ? Let's answer this question. Don't ask too many questions, as this can confuse the young man and his family.
Write down possible topics for conversation in the script in advance. This is necessary so that there are no awkward pauses at the table. Below is a list of topics and questions that can be addressed:
- future plans;
- the groom's thoughts on what an ideal marriage should be like;
- Favorite activities in free time: hobbies and interests.
Do not touch upon financial or personal issues in the conversation. Remember that the conversation should take place in an open, friendly atmosphere .
The groom's side can also talk to the bride. During the conversation, she should behave quietly and modestly. You cannot interrupt your elders or raise your intonation. On this day it is important to make a good impression on future relatives.
Among the Tatars
Compliance with ancient traditions and rituals that existed among our ancestors is a mandatory condition for holding a wedding among the Tatars. One of these mandatory rituals is the matchmaking of the bride.
It takes place 2-3 weeks before the wedding. According to Tatar laws, before coming to the bride’s parents with a wedding proposal, the parents of the young man make inquiries not only about the girl herself, but also about all her relatives and friends.
Having convinced themselves of the decency and chastity of the chosen one, they find out whether there is a blood relationship between the families. This is a manifestation of concern for the health of future children. The youth's parents must receive the blessing and permission of the mula.
Only after this, the eldest, most respected representative of the clan, can go to the bride’s house, where matchmaking will take place, consisting of several stages:
- Bridesmaids, during which the bride is shown to the matchmakers, talking about her hard work, health, and ability to manage a household.
- Story about the groom. A representative of the young man’s family talks about how strong and smart the young man is, what his wealth is and his ability to support his family.
- Negotiations between parents of young people.
The last stage is possible provided that the first two were successful. Now the young man’s mother and father join the matchmakers. During the conversation, the size of the dowry and the deadline for its payment are determined. Relatives from the bride's side give the groom's representatives sweets, fabrics, and sweet wine, but the dowry that will be given to the bride is not discussed. These stages of matchmaking still exist today and are strictly observed.
A Tatar wedding is a celebration filled with deep meaning. Divorce is a shame for the whole family, so Tatars take the choice of a bride and groom very seriously.
Competitions for guests
We wrote above that the scenario can be quite unusual. Some families organize funny competitions, which we will discuss below.
- To conduct this competition, you should write in advance on small pieces of paper the various activities that the husband and wife will do after the wedding. For example: swimming with dolphins, drawing on the asphalt, going to the solarium together. Guests take turns taking them out and discussing the answers together. The more unusual they are, the more fun the competition will be. Show your imagination!
- Guests should remember and sing wedding songs. You can prepare a small gift for the winner in advance. Music brings people together and is a great way to lift your spirits.
- Make your parents happy by organizing a competition for them. Find out the history of their acquaintance in advance and ask questions related to it. This will put all guests in a romantic mood and create an atmosphere of love and warmth.
Wedding ditties from a friend or girlfriend
Not only older people have a desire to cheerfully sing quatrains, but also young people, overwhelmed by the general joy and in a frenzy, abandon the rhythms of modern music in order to show themselves in all their glory and show off their wit. After all, each ditty carries humorous notes and a playful form. But at the same time, there is some truth in every joke.
I want to congratulate the young people and pat them on the shoulder. We will bring you gifts, Just like Yakubovich.
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The guests were whispering at the table, I overheard the conversation. They say they have never seen a more beautiful couple!
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Don’t rush, girlfriend, to get married, walk down the street. The feather bed is not ready yet - Feathers on the chicken.
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We wish you together a sea of happiness and love! Without hesitation, if necessary, call us for help!
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My fiancée and I are friends, I can’t count how many years. Promise the groom to protect the bride from adversity!
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I took care of the groom for a long time From bad things. Well, look, bride, so that my friend doesn’t lose weight.
***
Don't give the groom water - This is out of place here. Otherwise he got drunk and slept through his bride.
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We finished our walk, we finished playing, Girls, we finished dancing! We are now left without our best friend!
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Today we will drink our friend away, We must get used to the fact, But, as before, we will stand up for each other like a mountain!
***
Our snacks are good, that’s why we drink a lot. We are now marrying the groom's name, and giving the bride's name in marriage.
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I asked my friend: At least let me touch my leg. And she: get married first, and then pester me!
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And now we shout: “Bitter!” And we’ll ask everyone to pour some! We sang a lot of ditties - We need to wet our throats!
***
They congratulate the newlyweds with funny and witty wedding ditties, playfully tease the mother-in-law and father-in-law, make the groom's parents blush, and “reveal” to the newlyweds all the “delights” of family life. In a word, without ditties, a wedding feast turns into a boring event with silent absorption of food and drinks!
Folk signs
Not only in ancient Russia did people believe in omens . We very often pay attention to various signs and try to interpret their meaning. Below we present the main signs associated with the tradition of matchmaking.
- If you meet a man early in the morning, this is a sign that the matchmaking will be successful.
- Giving alms to the needy is encouraged among the people. If you want to receive God's blessing, give money or food to those in need.
- If on the day of matchmaking a spoon or fork falls, it means your guests are rushing to your house.
Why does the accordion sing? Why t...
Why does the accordion sing? Why is it so fun? It was my mother-in-law who hung hers around my neck!
Oh, guys, I'll tell you - Wedding is a punishment! Now forget about friends, learn knitting!
If all the girls in the world would love me I would probably shoot myself or get drunk like a pig!
Today I will tell you how to make girls fall in love with you! You need to wash your face more often and shave your beard and mustache!
Oh guys, oh friends, I confess honestly! You can’t love all girls, it’s not interesting!
Original questions for bride price
If you decide to conduct a non-standard bride ransom, then the questions should be original. An example of funny and cool questions for the groom to ask for ransom:
- Come up with one affectionate word for each letter of the bride's name.
- Name 10 derivatives from the name of your beloved (Tanya, Tanyusha, Tanechka, etc.).
- How can you cheer up your other half if she suddenly becomes sad: give flowers, take her for a walk, feed her something sweet, or another option?
- Tell me why you decided to marry our bride?
- What does the bride like more: cleaning the apartment or sunbathing on the beach?
- What will you drink with your father-in-law: coffee or vodka?
- What will you give your wife: flowers or potatoes?
- What will you need to bring your beloved to bed: tea, coffee or dumplings?
Funny questions for bride price are perhaps the most successful option. Since this is, first of all, a comic ritual that should take place easily and naturally. You can use comic children's riddles or simple logical questions as questions. The main thing is not to overdo it and not torment the groom and guests for too long. In general, the ransom should take no more than half an hour, and each type of task should take 5-10 minutes.
Try to turn the bride price into an exciting and fun game that the groom will remember more than once with a smile.
