What icon is used to bless a son or daughter before a wedding?

What icon is used to bless a son for marriage?

Most often, modern parents give their blessing to their son for marriage directly on the wedding day, before he goes to pick up the bride. We will tell you below about how to bless your son with an icon before the wedding, what to say.

According to tradition, parents give their son a blessing for marriage with the icon of the Savior Pantocrator, one of the most significant for believers

The Icon of the Almighty Savior helps to strengthen one’s faith, overcome life’s trials, and receive support in difficult situations.

Father shouldn't be silent either

The future father-in-law should also know how to bless his daughter before the wedding, because without his words, the mother’s parting words do not have the necessary power. However, it is the mother of the bride who speaks first. And she holds the icon. Men, as a rule, are taciturn, but the father must still tell his daughter that he blesses her for this marriage, that he wishes her a happy family path.

When the parents say their parting words, they need to kiss their daughter, then her chosen one. By this they make it clear that they accept him into the family as their own son.

What icon to give for a wedding

Very often, newlyweds receive wedding icons from their parents as a sign of their blessing and parental guidance for their future family life. Whatever icon the newlyweds are given for their wedding (there can be several of them at once), they must have an icon of the Mother of God.

Often they give paired icons of saints who became famous for their pious lives and marital fidelity: Peter and Fevronia of Murom, the holy martyrs Adrian and Natalia, and Saints Joachim and Anna.

Wedding icons should definitely be preserved. If a young family prays, then the images can be hung or placed so that prayers can always be offered in front of them; if the young people have not yet come to the Faith of Christ, then the icons need to be wrapped and hidden until the time when they believe.

St. Joachim and Anna

Joachim and Anna were the parents of the Mother of God. An icon with their image is a wonderful gift for a newly-made family, which will reliably protect the marriage from adversity, as well as protect each of the newlyweds.

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It is worth noting that such an icon is capable of assisting in childbirth - from the moment of the wedding, young people can pray to it for a quick addition to the family. These requests are fulfilled in a short time. By the way, the Scripture says that Anna and Joachim wanted to become parents for a very long time, but they managed to experience the happiness of fatherhood and motherhood only in old age.

Wedding blessing prayer

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, prayers for the sake of Thy Most Pure Mother, hear me, Thy sinful and unworthy servant.

Lord, in the mercy of Your power my children (names), have mercy and save them for Your name’s sake.

Lord, forgive them all the sins, voluntary and involuntary, that they committed before You.

Lord, guide them on the true path of Your commandments and enlighten them and enlighten them with Your light of Christ, for the salvation of the soul and the healing of the body.

Lord, bless them in the house, around the house, at school, in the field, at work and on the road, and in every place of Your possession.

Lord, protect them under the shelter of Your Saints from a flying bullet, arrow, knife, sword, poison, fire, flood, from a deadly plague (atomic rays) and from vain death.

Lord, protect them from visible and invisible enemies, from all troubles, evils and misfortunes. Lord, heal them from all diseases, cleanse them from all filth (wine, tobacco, drugs) and ease their mental suffering and sorrow.

Lord, grant them the grace of Your Holy Spirit for many years of life, health and chastity.

Lord, increase and strengthen their mental abilities and physical strength.

Lord, give them Your blessing for a godly family life and godly childbearing.

Lord, grant me, Thy unworthy and sinful servant, a parental blessing on my child at this time of morning, day, evening and night for the sake of Thy name, for Thy Kingdom is eternal, omnipotent and omnipotent. Amen.

History of appearance

In the old days in Rus', young people asked their parents for their wedding blessings. Blessing in this context meant approval for marriage and permission for a son to marry and a daughter to marry. Marriage without parental blessing was not approved by society and was considered unhappy.

In addition to moral support, the blessed young people also received material support for their marriage, in the form of a dowry, inheritance, titles and privileges. Moreover, this material component of parental blessing extended to the future offspring of the young, to their children.

Therefore, not a single wedding in Rus' was complete without such an important ritual. And the groom, without the approval of his parents, did not decide on either matchmaking or a wedding.

With the change in lifestyle, customs invariably change. Such changes also affected the ritual of parental blessing of a son before the wedding. Previously, the groom received it twice - before and after the wedding. Today, more and more often, young people limit themselves to one thing - a blessing with a loaf of bread on the threshold of the groom’s house (or in front of a restaurant, cafe, banquet hall), before the wedding feast. And sometimes they completely miss this wedding stage.

Modern newlyweds are no longer so attached to popular beliefs. They are not afraid of the thought that without parental prayers their marriage will be doomed. Young people often live together before registration, without informing their parents and without asking their approval by submitting an application to the registry office.

However, this does not apply to all couples. And those who cannot imagine their marital union without a wedding in church also try to receive a parental blessing.

Wedding and blessing are not a guarantee of family happiness

Weddings and parental blessings cannot be perceived as beautiful formalities or magical rituals that automatically provide the newlyweds with a cloudless family life. Future spouses need to remember that a wedding is a great church sacrament, a meeting with God. This is a joyful and solemn event, but it requires a conscious and responsible attitude. By getting married, the newlyweds seem to invite Christ to their wedding and vow to Him to build a Christian family. You can fulfill this vow worthily only by working on yourself and trusting in God’s help. Otherwise, even a well-wed marriage may fall apart.

Here is what Archpriest Andrei Tkachev says about this:

“We turned the wedding into a beautiful ceremony... And a year later we come to the priest who married us and say: “We should get a divorce and get married.” A wedding is too serious a thing to fool around with like that.”

Priest Ivan Vorobyov notes:

“Most modern people perceive a wedding as a mystical guarantee that the marriage will be long and happy. But if non-church people got married, this will not change anything. A marriage does not break up not because the priest performed some ritual. But because people understand: you cannot anger God, after death there is still eternal life.”

Parental blessing also will not help save a family where, instead of love and faith, selfishness and indifference to God reign. The custom of blessing is based on the connection between generations and sincere hope in the help of the Lord and the Mother of God. On the other hand, the absence of a blessing does not at all condemn a young family to sorrow. The happiness of the spouses depends only on their own diligence in spiritual improvement.

Archimandrite Andrey (Konanos) compares marriage to a burning lamp:

“If you don’t add oil to it, then soon it will begin to flicker and go out”... “To save a marriage today, you need to work on it, you need to promote it.”

Why you need to bless your son before the wedding: 5 reasons

A sign of respect and love for parents.

By asking for a blessing, a kind of family farewell, the son shows his parents his respect, thereby giving them the opportunity to feel their importance. In the complex system that is the family, such a connection between generations, based on love and reverence, is the foundation, the basis of the foundations.

Accepting your son's choice.

By giving a blessing, parents accept the fact that their son has grown up, become a man, a husband, ready to take responsibility for his family. At the same time, they agree with the son’s choice - the one he wants to introduce into the family as his wife, the mother of his children, their future grandchildren.

Sign of parental support.

Obtaining the parental approval of the chosen one is psychologically very important for a son, no matter how old he is. This is like additional proof that your choice is right, because it was blessed by people with family experience whose opinion is valuable to you. The son thus receives parental support in his family endeavors and confidence in his abilities.

A way of rallying and unifying.

Any joint ceremony is based on ritual actions that have been verified over centuries and are designed to unite the participants and not separate them. The blessing of parents before the wedding clearly demonstrates the connection between generations and gives rise to new family traditions.

Providing spiritual support to a young family.

Since ancient times, it has been believed that the energy of parental prayer “establishes the foundations of houses.” With their blessing, the parents pass on good luck, power and spiritual strength to the “newborn” family.

The procedure for parental blessing of a son

The process includes two stages.

The first blessing is before the registry office (wedding), before leaving the parental home.

It is performed in the absence of strangers. The parents stand opposite their son. Father holds an icon. He first baptizes his kneeling son three times, after which he passes the icon to his mother. She also baptizes her son with it three times. Then the son-groom must cross himself and kiss the holy face.

Note: according to Orthodox canons, the sign of the cross is always done three times and from top to bottom, from right to left.

If parents do not observe religious rituals, the ritual with icons is replaced with an oral blessing. In this case, the parents give a short parting speech, wishing their son well and happiness.

The second blessing is after the registry office (wedding).

In this case, parents greet their son with bread and salt (loaf) along with his young wife. The bride and groom receive a blessing together as a couple - without prayers, but with parting speeches and congratulations on their marriage.

The newlyweds are invited to “break bread” - to taste the wedding loaf by biting or breaking off a piece of it. According to tradition, the bride and groom treat each other with their pieces, having first dipped them in salt. It is believed that in this way they make a promise not to “salt” each other anymore, that is, not to upset each other.

Those present at this ceremony usually keep a vigilant eye on whose piece was larger and who ate it faster. According to signs, he will rule in the house and become the head of the family.

In the old days, after breaking the wedding bread, the newlyweds divided the loaf among the guests. Parents were treated first, then close relatives. The bottom of the loaf with coins baked in it was given to the musicians. And all that was left was for the “Cossacks” - children and teenagers who did not participate in the wedding feast, being outside the threshold of the house.

Note: if the groom does not have one of the parents, godparents can play their role. If the newlyweds do not live with the groom’s parents in their home, then the blessing ceremony is held in front of the restaurant where the wedding banquet is organized.

How to bless newlyweds with an icon

Usually parents experience great excitement at this moment, so it is better not to make long speeches, but only give their parting words to their children so that they always love and support each other. The mother holds an icon (or better yet, a folded one) in her hands, and the father holds a loaf (also on a towel). After a short parting word, the young people should cross themselves three times and present them with an icon, which the young people also cross and then kiss. In the old days, young people knelt to receive their parents’ blessing, which emphasized the solemnity of the moment.

What parents say when blessing their son: examples of speeches

At the first blessing, it would be appropriate to read a kind of prayer with the icon.

The text of the “prayer” of the groom’s mother: “Just as the church is indestructible and strong, faith is strong and sweet mead, so ... (son’s name) and ... (bride’s name) were strong and inseparable. We haven’t been without each other, we haven’t lived apart for a minute or a day since that day, when I read the slander. Amen. Amen. Amen".

You can bless in your own words, giving parental advice to your son who is starting his own family.

Examples of parental blessing of a son before the registry office (wedding):

- Dear son, we bless you and give you guidance for your future family life. May she be happy, in love and mutual harmony. May troubles and misfortunes pass you by. And your union will be blessed with the birth of strong and healthy children.

- Dear son! We bless you for a strong and happy marriage. Live for good. Honor and take care of your wife. Be with her in joy and peace, harmony and love. May God give you support and protection on your family journey!

- Dear son! You are on the verge of important life changes. Let them be happy. May your marriage be strong and your family life long and joyful. Let children's laughter sound in your home, and let prosperity and peace reign.

Examples of parental blessing after the registry office (wedding):

- Dear... (names of the bride and groom)! Please accept our blessing for your marital union! May the Lord protect your family from evil and misfortune. Be faithful to each other, take care and love each other. You... (name of the groom) protect and protect... (name of the bride) from the difficulties of life and unnecessary tears. And you... (name of the bride) be... (name of the groom) support in all matters. And then peace and harmony will settle in your home forever.

- Dear children! At the beginning of your family journey, we bless you with this wedding loaf - a symbol of prosperity, health and wealth. May your life together be as sweet and enjoyable as this rich and delicious bread. Let your children be strong and rosy, like the crust on this loaf. And may your family have as much warmth and love as there is in this wedding bread. Advice and love to you!

Icon selection

The images of the Kazan Mother of God and the Almighty Savior are usually chosen as images for blessing, both in separate frames and in the form of a “fold” - images connected to each other.

Traditionally, the Mother of God is considered the patroness of the whole world, but especially of women and mothers (future and present). Therefore, the bride is blessed with the image of the Kazan Mother of God. Jesus Christ is the patron of everyone, but the male image usually accompanies the blessing of the groom.

Both newlyweds are greeted with either two icons or the one that the parents consider more suitable for the ceremony.

Note! If the images were not purchased in a church store, they must be consecrated in the temple before the ceremony! The best option is for parents to purchase paraphernalia when visiting a temple or holy monastery in order to pray for their children.

In a wedding ceremony, the blessing ceremony can be performed once, twice or more. In the first case, parents meet the newlyweds with the icons after the registry office before the walk or after the walk, at the entrance to the banquet hall (another place of the feast).

Sometimes, for separate parting words for the young, personalized icons (of the patron saint), a guardian angel, and family images are used.

In families that follow the canons of Orthodoxy, a slightly different order of blessing is adopted:

• future newlyweds receive a general blessing from both parents during matchmaking and at the conclusion of the engagement;
• the bride and groom are blessed separately by their parents (or older family members) before leaving home;
• at the entrance to the temple, the newlyweds are greeted by a priest with an image, which is also used for the wedding;
• With icons, older relatives greet the newlyweds after the wedding and after, at the entrance to the new house.

From the point of view of the church, only baptized people can receive and give a blessing with an icon!

At the time of the ceremony, the mother or father holds the icons in special towels, purchased or embroidered by the bride before the wedding. In the same towels the images are placed on the shrine or stored.

After the wedding celebrations are completed, the icons remain with the newlyweds; they are placed in the “red corner” in a religious family or stored in a secluded place. Subsequently, these same images are used to bless newborn children and grandchildren, during family prayers, and to “pray” sick and endangered family members.

General information

In many religions there is a wedding blessing, but it appeared in Orthodoxy. The bride and groom asked their parents for permission to become a family. Sometimes they did not receive it and married secretly. But this was considered a sin and was highly condemned. Even a priest could refuse a wedding if the couple did not have a blessing from their parents.

Of course, in the modern world, young people make such decisions themselves, but many still listen to their parents’ words and receive the blessings of the bride’s parents and the groom’s parents.

Important tips for preparing a blessing from the mother of the bride:

• The entire main speech will be addressed to the daughter, but the groom must also be mentioned, because they are becoming a couple.
• You need to say not only congratulations, but also words of encouragement.
• It is better to try to avoid overly sentimental words, because tears will lead to running makeup, which is unacceptable for the bride.
• If you feel unsure, try rehearsing in front of a mirror. You can do the same thing with a joint congratulation with the bride’s father.
• While saying the words of blessing, they can be shared with the groom's mother if everyone is on good terms. The same applies to the ritual of removing the veil at the end of the evening.
• Parents are given the floor at least twice, this is the meeting of the newlyweds with a loaf of bread and the banquet itself. In addition to the loaf of bread, many people meet the newlyweds with an icon before the registry office or in a restaurant they give a blessing with an icon after the registry office.
• Avoid blessing verses. They can easily be forgotten and confused, let all the blessing be in prose. Poems are best saved for toast. Be calm and confident. No papers, just words from yourself. Even if you forget something, you can improvise, because these are words to your beloved daughter.
• Excitement will always be present, but try not to show it. Avoid awkward situations and words, especially those that put the bride in an awkward position in front of the guests.

On a note. Words of blessing from the bride's mother are very important and the most personal words can be said when left alone with your daughter.

Prayer

During the ceremony, it does not matter which of the parents will hold the towel with images - the father or mother - and which of the pairs of parents (bride or groom) will perform the ceremony. The main thing is that the person giving the blessing is a baptized and, if possible, a believer.

The parting words of the newlyweds are accompanied by a prayer:

(A modernized version of the prayer is presented)

Little tips

• You should purchase several towels for the image and loaf. Each icon is held with a separate towel. Each loaf, and there may be several of them, should have its own holiday towel.
• Before kissing the icon, the mother or father baptizes the young people with it three times, while making the sign from top to bottom, note, from left to right, so that the young people receive the Orthodox sign of the cross, from right to left.
• The entire church wedding ceremony must be previously discussed with the clergyman, so that everyone present at the wedding and holding the icon knows what and how to do.

Attention! In the old days, without parental permission and blessing, a priest did not have the right to perform a wedding ceremony. Disobedient children who entered into an unmarried marriage without parental blessing were deprived of inheritance and acceptance in society.

A prayer request before the Creator with holy images has great power, because in this case a piece of the family happiness of the parents is inherited by the children, by blessing whom the father and mother ask for the intercession of the Almighty God.

When should a blessing ceremony be performed for a son?

The ideal option is the blessing of a son on the day of engagement of young people, when they become the bride and groom. This day is symbolic and of great importance for parents, because today their already adult child made, perhaps, the most important decision in his life - to link his destiny with the woman he loves.

However, modern realities are such that parents can find out about their son’s imminent wedding after submitting an application to the registry office. In this case, a full-fledged blessing ceremony is possible, for example, before lovers decide to take another important step in their lives - a wedding.

If the parents do not want to wait until the wedding day, you can bless the child for marriage before the marriage - after the ransom or even the day before the wedding, when the groom is overwhelmed with excitement and the support of his parents is especially important for him.

The essence of prayer

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We congratulate you from the bottom of our hearts, our dear children! At the beginning of your journey into adulthood, we treat you to a wedding loaf, symbolizing the well-being of your future family. We wish your life to have as much warmth as this loaf of bread. May your home always be bright and welcoming. Advice and love to you!

***

Dear bride and groom! We wish you happiness, health, mutual understanding and prosperity. Live in the name of love and goodness. We bless you for a strong family and a happy marriage!

Blessing a son for a wedding is not just warm words - it is also an appeal to God to grant happiness to the newlyweds.

Before giving instructions to the young, read the prayer:

For well-being in marriage, you can pray to Saints Nicholas the Wonderworker, Peter and Fevronia of Murom, Paraskeva Pyatnitsa, Ksenia of Petersburg, Matrona of Moscow, Adrian and Natalya.

How to read a prayer correctly?

When is a son blessed before a wedding? You can do this the day before, during the engagement, or before the newlyweds go to the registry office.

And according to ancient canons, this is done twice: the first time - in the father’s house, before the groom goes to pick up the bride, the second time - before the wedding. Your words will become parting words for the newlyweds, protection from evil words and a prayer for their well-being.

You will need to take an icon of the Kazan Mother of God or Jesus Christ. People turn to the first image to resolve troubles in the family, problems with children, and to find harmony in marriage. According to tradition, the list from this icon has long been used to bless the bride and groom before the wedding. It is believed that this helps to build a strong and happy family.

Often, to bless a son for a wedding, they use the image of the Savior Almighty, or the Savior - the most common image of Christ. In one hand He holds the Gospel, indicating the correct path in life, and with the other hand he blesses the one who looks at the image.

Parents should say parting words to their son and his chosen one on their wedding day, cross their children three times, wishing them a happy family life.

Deeply religious people can read an Orthodox prayer or say the following words:

• The newlyweds, kneeling, must cross themselves and kiss the face on the icon. The presence of strangers is undesirable.
• If you are planning a wedding, then this image should be taken with you to church.
• The parting words given to a son for his wedding, spoken from the heart, will be heard by the Lord. The blessing of the son on the wedding day will protect and preserve his family, and the icon with which the newlyweds were blessed will subsequently be kept in their home and serve as a reminder of the solemn date for many years.

***

Son! Please accept our blessing for your marriage. May the Lord protect your future family from misfortunes and troubles. Be faithful to your wife and love her. Help her in all matters, be a reliable support for her. And let harmony, devotion and faith in each other reign in your home. Peace and prosperity to your family!

***

Dear (son's name)! We bless you for creating a friendly and strong family. Honor and protect your wife. Live in friendship and peace, harmony and love, for the joy of people and for your own happiness! May there be prosperity and peace in your home, and may children’s laughter soon be heard in your family.

Wishes for the bride

It is important for the bride to receive her mother’s blessing for a happy marriage; the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God is often used for this. This is explained by the fact that the Kazan Icon protected the Russian people from enemy attacks. Before the Kazan Icon they pray:

• girls about happy marriage;
• women about the birth of a child;
• about the well-being of children and families.

The bride herself can pray in front of the Kazan Icon on her wedding day, or the prayer can come from her mother. At church weddings, it is customary for brides to hold this image of the Virgin Mary in their hands.

To bless the daughter, the following prayer is read before the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God:

Zealous Intercessor, Mother of the Lord Most High! Pray for all of Thy Son, Christ our God, and cause all to be saved, seeking refuge in Thy sovereign protection. Intercede for all of us, O Lady, Queen and Lady, who in adversity and sorrow and illness, burdened with many sins, stand and pray to You with a tender soul and a contrite heart before Your Most Pure Image with tears, and the irrevocable hope of those who have in You for deliverance from all evils . Grant usefulness to all and save everything, O Virgin Mother of God: for Thou art the Divine protection of Thy servant.

A few rules

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Beloved son, (name), live happily and harmoniously with your wife. Respect and forgive each other, keep peace and warmth in the family. Remember that all troubles recede from those in whom love reigns. Take care of her from the first days until old age. Live in prosperity, and may God bless you.

***

Our dear children! We bless you for creating your family. May she be prosperous and happy. Let harmony and love always accompany you on the path of life, and in times of adversity we wish you to become support and support for each other. Advice and love to you!

***

You, children, (name of the groom) and (name of the bride), listen to the good word - a parental blessing for a strong family. Live well and in harmony, have children, strengthen your family with strength! Live strong and consistent so that your years do not pass in vain - for the joy of people, for the consolation of parents. We bless you!