Since ancient times, blessing the parents of their children with an icon before the wedding was considered obligatory; It was impossible to walk down the aisle without parental blessing, and this was done only in exceptional cases.
The significance of parental blessing was very great; it served as a kind of moral support for a young family
In our time of widespread proliferation of so-called civil marriages, that is, marriages without registration, it sometimes seems that the blessing of the newlyweds with an icon, and indeed the parental blessing in general, has lost its meaning, but this is not true. More and more couples, after officially registering their marriage in the registry office, are getting married in the temple of God, even those whose family history goes back many years.
In former times, in every house there were icons in the red corner, in front of which they prayed and with which parents blessed their children during engagement (betrothal), that is, a preliminary agreement on marriage. Then the groom put a wedding ring on the bride’s finger, and the parents took out the icons from the red corner and blessed them.
It should be recalled that even today an icon for blessing the newlyweds must certainly be consecrated in the church
In addition, icons for a wedding blessing cannot be held with bare hands; they must be covered with a towel.
What icon is used to bless a son for marriage?
Most often, modern parents give their blessing to their son for marriage directly on the wedding day, before he goes to pick up the bride. We will tell you below about how to bless your son with an icon before the wedding, what to say.
According to tradition, parents give their son a blessing for marriage with the icon of the Savior Pantocrator, one of the most significant for believers
The Icon of the Almighty Savior helps to strengthen one’s faith, overcome life’s trials, and receive support in difficult situations.
Meet each other halfway for love
It happens that the parents did not like the bride. Or they think it’s too early for him to start a family; or there is another girl in mind whom you would like to see as your daughter-in-law.
They reject their son's choice and do not give approval for the marriage. There can be no talk of any blessing. Should I treat my son’s decision this way?
Everyone will suffer from such an attitude. It is difficult to find a young man who will abandon his beloved for the sake of obedience to his parents. The son will do his own thing, and the conflict with his parents will turn into painful resentment against each other.
Whoever is wiser will be the first to try to establish peace in the family. Having given up your ambitions, you need to meet each other halfway. It is good if the son listens to the opinion of his parents and does not rush into the wedding. After all, he is still young and does not see many of the nuances of marriage. Often parents foresee what the marriage will be like by withholding a blessing.
Postponing the wedding is not a disaster: parents will be able to get to know their future daughter-in-law better, see her positive qualities, change their attitude towards her and give their blessing for the marriage.
Icon for blessing a daughter before the wedding
Like their son, parents bless their daughter with an icon today, most often on the wedding day, before the groom arrives.
The daughter is blessed with the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God, one of the most revered among Orthodox Christians
The same icon is used to marry newlyweds in church. She is of particular importance for women, as she is the intercessor and patroness of the family and peace in it; people resort to her help to protect the house from evil, give birth to healthy children, and they pray to her for healing from illnesses.
Parting words to the bride before the wedding ceremony
Traditionally, this happens before the wedding itself in the parental home. Before going to the Wedding Palace, the father and mother of the bride address their two children - their daughter and her groom - with parting words and wishes.
What to tell your daughter
Before the groom arrives, mom and dad can bless their daughter separately.
General “words of encouragement”
So you have grown up, daughter, and are about to fly away from the family nest. May your choice be correct, and may your family be friendly and strong. Respect your future husband, because now he is your support and protector, love him with all your heart. Daughter, we wish you a happy life in goodness and prosperity, healthy children who will delight both you and your husband, and your dad and me.
Words from the mother of the bride
Daughter, I am happy that you have found your path in life. She will now be associated with (name of the groom). While raising you, I tried to give you as much as possible - knowledge, feelings, teach you everything that a real woman should be able to do. Therefore, I am sure that this guy is a worthy person. Be happy in this marriage. May bright love always accompany you two, and may there never be discord in your family. Be, daughter, the happiest and most beloved woman in the whole world!
Wishes from father to daughter
Daughter! You are my only child and you know how much your mother and I love you. We are very worried about you now, and we will always be worried. It’s hard for me to give you to someone else’s house, but I believe in you and your choice. Therefore, I will try to accept your future husband as my own son. Be a faithful and kind wife to him. May there always be peace and mutual understanding in your new family. And the worries of creating this kind atmosphere of warmth and tranquility fall on your fragile shoulders. Be strong and patient, know that love can overcome all life's adversities. May your new family be happy!
Our dear children! We bless you for creating your family. May she be prosperous and happy. Take care of the tenderness that you have. Live for each other in the name of goodness and your love. Be happy together! Dear (names of the young people), our dear children! We want to say our final words of encouragement before you become husband and wife. We wish you to create a strong family, for the joy of everyone - happiness for you and joy for the people! Let harmony and love always accompany you on the path of life, and in times of adversity, become support and support for each other. Be always happy! Children! (Names of newlyweds)! Today a new path begins for you - a common one. May it lead you to a world full of love and tenderness, family happiness and all-consuming goodness! Let the light of loving eyes help you overcome all difficulties, and let the warmth of hearts beating together and merging into one warm you in any bad weather. Love each other, appreciate the feelings you have now. Then the new family will be so happy that it’s just a sight for sore eyes. Blessings! Advice and love to you, children! Today you are starting your family. You, daughter, on this day also give us a son
His happiness is now as important to us as yours, because it will be common to both of you. Divide your love between two, thereby increasing it and elevating it
Let each of you appreciate the other, help in everything, understand and accept him. We wish to preserve the blessed fire that lit your hearts. It will help on the difficult path of family life, making it brighter and easier. Happiness and prosperity, joy and peace to your family!
What icon is used to bless the young?
As already mentioned, different icons are used to bless sons and daughters.
For the joint blessing of the young, the best option is a combination of these two images - the Savior Pantocrator and the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God, purchased in a church shop and consecrated in the church
What do parents need to prepare to welcome the newlyweds?
It is important for the groom’s parents to think in advance about what rituals they will perform when meeting their son and daughter-in-law, and to prepare all the necessary attributes for this. Moreover, it is better to do this in advance, so that at the most crucial moment it does not turn out that something is missing at hand.
So, first of all, think about what words you will use to greet your children. And if you are afraid of forgetting your speech, write it on a piece of paper. To carry out the rituals you will need icons, bread and salt or a loaf, two towels - one for the bread and the other for the feet of the newlyweds, two new glasses, champagne, as well as grain, candy or rose petals, which you will sprinkle on the newlyweds when entering the restaurant .
How to bless newlyweds with an icon
Usually parents experience great excitement at this moment, so it is better not to make long speeches, but only give their parting words to their children so that they always love and support each other. The mother holds an icon (or better yet, a folded one) in her hands, and the father holds a loaf (also on a towel). After a short parting word, the young people should cross themselves three times and present them with an icon, which the young people also cross and then kiss. In the old days, young people knelt to receive their parents’ blessing, which emphasized the solemnity of the moment.
The right words to bless the newlyweds
A wedding is the most important step in the life of a young couple. That is why it begins with the blessing of the people closest to them - their parents. This tradition goes back centuries. The parents of the young people bless them not only with parting words, but also with an icon.
There are no special instructions regarding which saint should be depicted on it. It all depends on the wishes of the parents and the young. After the end of the celebration, the icon moves to the house of the newlyweds and becomes their amulet. It is placed in a secluded place along with a towel. Most often, icons of the Virgin Mary, Jesus Christ and St. Nicholas the Pleasant are chosen for this purpose.
Several centuries ago, refusal to bless the newlyweds was considered a significant obstacle to marriage. If one of the parties refused, the wedding could never take place, despite the strong feelings of the boy and girl.
So how are the young blessed today? If previously this took place before marriage, at the moment when the young man asked for the hand of the bride’s parents. In the modern world, parents do this after, first, the ceremonial part. The action scenario is developed in advance.
The selected icon is wrapped in an embroidered towel. She is in the hands of the groom's father. At the request of the parents, there can be two icons - for each pair of parents. Fathers give parting words to the young family. They bless the bride first, then the groom. Parents baptize their newly-made wife and husband with an icon.
There is an opinion that touching an icon with bare hands means trouble. Whether this is true or not, no one knows, but the tradition is strictly observed. After the ceremony is completed, the icons are placed on the festive table, next to the newlyweds.
In some families, it is customary to give parting wishes before the ceremony, in a narrow family circle. In particular, when blessing a daughter or son, the icon is also held in a towel, pronouncing wishes for a long and happy family life. A daughter or son is also baptized with an icon.
The future newlywed must listen to his parents and kiss the icon. After this, it is believed that he begins his own adult life. As for the text that parents speak, it is best if parents speak for themselves. Memorized words will look inappropriate in such a situation.
It is associated with a honey drink, which was customary to drink in Ancient Rus' during a wedding celebration. Honey infusion was a symbol of the easy and sweet future life of the young. The loaf helped determine in advance who would be the head of the family.
The bride and groom should break off a piece, add salt and feed each other. It was believed that whose piece was larger would have the final say in the family. They salted the bread so that in future the young people would not have quarrels. Candles are lit to maintain warmth in the family hearth.
This point should be discussed in advance and prepared for it. Especially if the parents have a large text prepared. And, of course, everything described above makes sense only if both spouses are baptized.
Only in this case, the blessing of the parents will be valid. It is carried out not only after a trip to the registry office, but also after the wedding ceremony. In this case, not only the blood-related parents bless, but also the imprisoned ones.
The main thing is that it is carried out with warmth and with all the heart. Regardless of the option you choose, this is a beautiful wedding tradition, without which the wedding celebration will not be as soulful.
What icon to give for a wedding
Very often, newlyweds receive wedding icons from their parents as a sign of their blessing and parental guidance for their future family life. Whatever icon the newlyweds are given for their wedding (there can be several of them at once), they must have an icon of the Mother of God. Often they give paired icons of saints who became famous for their pious lives and marital fidelity: Peter and Fevronia of Murom, the holy martyrs Adrian and Natalia, and Saints Joachim and Anna.
Wedding icons should definitely be preserved. If a young family prays, then the images can be hung or placed so that prayers can always be offered in front of them; if the young people have not yet come to the Faith of Christ, then the icons need to be wrapped and hidden until the time when they believe.
Parting words to the groom before the ransom from his father and mother
The parents of the groom, as well as the bride, say words of blessing and parting words several times. The very first time this happens is when young people announce their intention to start a family - on the day of their engagement. And right before the wedding - even before the son leaves the house to go after his future wife.
Religious
Just as faith is strong and indestructible, and mead is sweet, in the same way let the family of (the son’s name) with (the name of his bride) be indestructible by any adversity, strong in faith in each other, sweet in their love. Let them be inseparable, starting right from this day and this minute - only together, so that not a moment apart from each other! Amen.
Parting words
- Son! We wish you to create a happy, strong family. Take care of your future wife, love her devotedly. May your relationship be built on honesty, mutual understanding and the love that is shining now in your eyes. Be happy!
- Beloved son! We bless you for creating your family. May God protect her from all misfortunes, from storms and evil. Be faithful, love your wife. Protect her with a strong shoulder from the difficulties of this world, let her receive help from you in all matters. May there be harmony and love, devotion and faith between you for happiness for yourself and joy for other people. Peace, peace and endless happiness to you!
- (Groom's name), son! All earthly blessings and peace to you! Let your home be a full cup and let love and mutual understanding always reign there. Having harmony in the family helps preserve love for a long, long life. We wish you healthy and strong children, so that they grow up and make you and your wife happy and help you. We wish that the sun shines brightly for your family and that the clouds do not roll into the sky. May God protect you and everything that is dear to you, and you, in turn, respect and take care of your wife. Be always happy!
In the next video you will find two examples of blessings from the parents of the bride and groom before the wedding: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9Xhe0oQ9KU
Wedding blessing prayer
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, prayers for the sake of Thy Most Pure Mother, hear me, Thy sinful and unworthy servant. Lord, in the mercy of Your power my children (names), have mercy and save them for Your name’s sake. Lord, forgive them all the sins, voluntary and involuntary, that they committed before You. Lord, guide them on the true path of Your commandments and enlighten them and enlighten them with Your light of Christ, for the salvation of the soul and the healing of the body. Lord, bless them in the house, around the house, at school, in the field, at work and on the road, and in every place of Your possession. Lord, protect them under the shelter of Your Saints from a flying bullet, arrow, knife, sword, poison, fire, flood, from a deadly plague (atomic rays) and from vain death. Lord, protect them from visible and invisible enemies, from all troubles, evils and misfortunes. Lord, heal them from all diseases, cleanse them from all filth (wine, tobacco, drugs) and ease their mental suffering and sorrow. Lord, grant them the grace of Your Holy Spirit for many years of life, health and chastity. Lord, increase and strengthen their mental abilities and physical strength. Lord, give them Your blessing for a godly family life and godly childbearing. Lord, grant also to me, Thy unworthy and sinful servant, a parental blessing on my child at this time of morning, day, evening and night for the sake of Thy name, for Thy Kingdom is eternal, omnipotent and omnipotent. Amen.
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How newlyweds should behave when they meet the groom's parents
The newlyweds, approaching the groom's house or the entrance to the restaurant where their parents meet them, and stepping onto the towel laid out for them, must first bow to their parents three times and cross themselves (if they meet with an icon).
Next, if they are greeted with a loaf of bread or bread and salt, break off a piece of it and let each other taste it. At this stage, you can determine who will be the head of the new family - it depends on who broke off a piece of bread or loaf faster. If the spouses managed to do this at the same time, then you can be sure that there will be harmony and order in everything in their home.
After the parents serve the newlyweds glasses filled with champagne, they must mark them with the sign of the cross three times, which will protect them from possible troubles. Next, the bride and groom should sip a little champagne from the glasses, pour the rest behind their backs, and then break the glasses. After the meeting ceremony, the newlyweds can safely head to the hall to continue the celebration.
Price and where to buy
Lovers can choose and buy these necessary wedding attributes in various places:
- churches;
- temple;
- chapel;
- icon workshop;
- or online in special online stores.
As we said above, the price of such religious products will depend on the materials used and the manufacturing method, as well as the size.
How does the modern ritual of blessing the newlyweds take place in front of the registry office?
Unfortunately, modern newlyweds do not always ask their parents for blessings before going to the registry office. This tradition has lost its meaning for many. However, most young people who get married still adhere to an important ritual.
But not everyone knows how it should be carried out correctly:
- All people invited to the ceremony must be mentally prepared for the sacrament, which should be performed in the bride’s house after her ransom by the groom.
Important! All those present must be baptized. Otherwise, they need to leave the house while the parents bless their children for family life.
- If both parents are young or one of them is missing, then they can be replaced by the closest relatives - brothers, sisters, grandparents, godparents. If they are completely alone, then devoted friends can bless them, whom the young people should ask about this.
- It is very important to know which icons for blessing the newlyweds
you need to purchase in order to carry out the blessing ceremony. There had to be two of them:
- An icon of the Savior, which is presented to the groom after the ceremony. It is believed that this shrine will bring joy and prosperity to the home and will lead young people along the pious path. She must be the first to be brought into the house where the newly made husband and wife will live. The mother of the groom blesses the newlyweds
with this icon . - An icon of the Mother of God, which is given to the bride after the blessing. It is believed that this shrine will protect the home of the newlyweds from grief and troubles and will give the newly-made family children. The mother of the bride blesses the newlyweds
with this icon .
Important! Consider another important point regarding the question of who buys icons to bless the young
. These must be the parents of both the groom (they buy the icon of the Savior) and the bride (they buy the icon of the Mother of God)
.
Nowadays, churches sell folding icons - these are two icons combined into one. The parents of the young couple can buy it together. Although this is not a very important point. The main thing is to be friendly at the time of purchase and think positively.
- The blessing of the newlyweds with an icon
must be carried out with towels, with which the icons must be covered, because they cannot be taken with bare hands. - At the moment of blessing, the future husband and wife should kneel. At this moment, parents can say any words of blessing to the young
, the main thing is that they come from the heart (it is not necessary to learn poetry, prose, etc. for this purpose), and then describe the young with icons of a cross.
What do they say when blessing the newlyweds?
? Traditionally, the speech is: “Our beloved children! May your marriage be filled with love and happiness. We bless you for a long and happy married life. Live together, respect each other, appreciate and forgive. May the cup always be full in your home, may God give you children who will fill your and our lives with happiness, hope for a bright future, and love. Try to carry your sincere feelings throughout your life. Increase your love every day, keep in your hearts the warmth and sincerity with which they are filled today.”
- After the blessing, the newlyweds leave the house, but the father of the bride must walk in front of them, holding one of the icons in front of him. The groom's father must complete the chain, carrying the second icon in front of him. The icons are then brought to the ceremonial banquet and placed near the loaf. The newlyweds should keep them as a family heirloom to pass on to their firstborn on his wedding day.
- Mothers of the newlyweds and invited guests should sprinkle them with sweets, coins, and wheat when the newlyweds leave the house. This ritual symbolizes that everyone present at the holiday wishes the newlyweds well-being and happiness in their married life.
Before registration
The blessing can be carried out several times, it depends on the wishes of the couple, on local and family traditions. In the presence of all guests, as well as godparents, this can be done in front of the registry office.
One of the parents reads a prayer, then an icon is taken for a wedding blessing, and the bride and groom are blessed with it three times. The young people stand face to face and pray together with everyone else. Then they should express gratitude for the constant care, for agreeing to their union. After this, the guests also give a good farewell and throw in grain and small coins.
What is a wedding
In Orthodoxy there are only 7 sacraments, including marriage between a man and a woman. You should prepare thoroughly, because this is a shared journey for life. In fact, the blessing of the newlyweds used to always take place in the church; today, the ceremony with icons often becomes a separate event before the banquet. You can do it twice - once in the temple, the other for guests, if not everyone attended the wedding.
The actual blessing is not part of the ceremony; it is a centuries-old tradition. After all, before there was no separation between the registry office and the church; the church registered births, marriages and deaths quite officially. And now this is nothing more than a tribute to fashion, in most cases. This, of course, is sad, but this is how people can gain faith.
