A wedding in Cossack society was a very significant event, and preparations for it began almost from the birth of the child. Young people (usually from the same social circle) married at the age of 17-19. Celebrations were usually celebrated after the end of field work or after the Easter holidays.
Until the mid-19th century, Cossack parents were looking for a bride for their son, then young men were allowed to choose their betrothed on their own. According to tradition, a guy informed the girl he liked about his intention to marry by throwing his hat into her yard over the fence. Returning the headdress meant a categorical refusal. If the Cossack was in love with the girl, the hat remained with her.
Without waiting for the headdress to return, the happy young man went to his parents, told them about his intentions and asked them to marry him.
Matchmaking
The parents, along with the godfather and matchmaker, went to the bride's parents. While the matchmaker was praising the groom, the girl modestly stood aside or even went into another room.
If the bride's parents liked the young man, everyone was invited to the festive table, at which they agreed on when to install the vaults.
If the groom did not approach, the matchmakers were not invited to the table, and the Cossack was given a pumpkin (watermelon), which meant refusal.
Pre-wedding events and traditions
The wedding of the Cossacks is one of the stages of concluding an alliance between a man and a woman. Before the wedding, the groom always asks for blessings from his parents. If approval is received, the family begins preparations for matchmaking.
Main pre-wedding events:
- matchmaking;
- vaults;
- parties.
At the first stage, the groom's family puts on a festive outfit and goes to the bride's house with their parents. On the threshold, the matchmakers make a speech. If the guy is nice to the bride's family, guests are invited to the house. If for any reason the groom does not suit his future father-in-law and mother-in-law, he is rejected immediately.
Guests invited to the house are generously treated and the show is discussed. A date is set for a return visit. When the bride's family comes to visit the groom, they choose the day of the vaults. The main condition is that both parties are satisfied with the viewing.
The guy comes to the vaults with friends. The Cossack woman independently prepares treats for guests and friends. The custom is accompanied by traditional sayings and sayings. At the end of the event, the parents ask the newlyweds if they agree to get married. After receiving a positive response, a wedding date is set.
Before the sacrament of marriage, parties are held. Night gatherings are accompanied by games, dancing, and singing. Variations of entertainment depend on what village the youth live in. It is prohibited to fall asleep during the night. If a guy or girl falls asleep, the party participants come up with a punishment that the offender himself is not aware of.
Before the wedding, a pillow festival is held - an event dedicated to the transfer of the dowry to the man's house. It is customary to treat the “pillow people” with wine and sweets.
Vaults
The girl herself had to prepare the food for the consolidated ceremony. The future spouse, his friends, brothers and sisters, as well as the bride’s girlfriends were invited.
All the girls were hiding in a separate room. When the groom arrived, he needed to find his betrothed among them. The friend brought a glass to the young couple and asked if they knew the name and patronymic of their chosen one.
After this, the parents asked the couple if they were ready to get married. The young people agreed. Next, the fathers of the young couple, to confirm the agreement, shook hands and agreed on the wedding date.
After the vaults, the girl was called the “drunk bride.”
Wedding and wedding
On this day, the future wife got up early, walked around her yard, and said goodbye to everything that was dear to her. Then she went into the garden and wailed. Together with her friends, the girl went to the churchyard to obtain permission to marry deceased relatives.
The bride's friends had to take the bride's gift to the Cossack - a wedding shirt. They were in a hurry to find him in bed and tormented him for a long time, putting on the gift, buttoned up with all the buttons. The guy paid off the girls with sweets, flowers or even perfume.
The Cossack gave them the dress and shoes for the bride, and the girls ran back.
The Cossack woman had curls on her bangs as an obligatory element of her wedding hairstyle. To do this, a large nail was heated red-hot, greased with a piece of lard, and the hair was twisted. The curls were placed around the forehead and secured with a wreath, which symbolized the purity of the bride. Such a wreath was then carefully kept throughout its life. The rest of the hair was braided.
The bride's dress was white, blue or pink, and there was a white flower on her shoulder - the same should have been on the groom's suit. To avoid the evil eye, needles were pinned to the hem of the dress on four sides, and sometimes incense was placed in the bosom to ward off evil spirits. The groom was dressed in a Cossack military uniform with a sword belt, boots and a kubanka hat.
The young Cossack received the blessing of his parents and in a noisy company on horseback, singing and firing guns, set off for his chosen one.
The girl sat under the icons on an inverted fur coat, which meant future wealth, and waited for the groom to buy her from her relatives. Then the newlyweds went to church to get married.
After church, the newly married couple went to the house of the girl’s parents, where a festive table was already waiting for them. A mandatory attribute was a loaf of bread, two bottles of wine and a glass of honey. The newlyweds were presented with gifts, then they went out into the courtyard, received an icon and a blessing from the bride’s mother, and the girl left her father’s house forever.
The wedding moved to the groom's house. There, on the threshold, the parents met the newlyweds, holding an icon and bread and salt. The spouses were showered with hops and coins. The husband carried his wife in his arms over the threshold to show the brownie: there was a new person in the family who needed to be protected.
Then the matchmaker took the girl into a separate room with a curtained corner, took off her wreath and unbraided her hair. The girl's brother cut off part of her hair with a dull knife and bargained for it with his friend. Then the girl had two braids made and twisted around her head.
After the “bride’s funeral,” the spouses accepted congratulations and “bumps.”
The father-in-law handed the whip to his son-in-law and he pretended to beat his wife. After this, the young wife bowed to her husband three times, showing submission.
The groom, a witty, nimble and cheerful guy from the groom’s entourage, ensured that traditions were observed. He could be recognized in a crowd of guests by his long decorated stick-staff.
The matchmaker also played an important role at weddings. She was appointed a married woman with children, eloquent, with a good sense of humor. There was a huge paper flower on the matchmaker’s head. Both were belted with towels.
The guests had fun at the wedding until the morning, and the newlyweds, accompanied by a friend and matchmaker, went to the marital bed late in the evening.
Rituals of the Don Cossacks
Cossack wedding
One of the first places among the numerous Cossack rituals is occupied by wedding rituals, which developed after the introduction of church marriage on the Don in the 19th century. The traditional Don wedding has many features of the Southern Great Russian and Ukrainian weddings.
Weddings were usually held in the fall or winter, when the Cossacks were free from field work, but sometimes in the spring, so that by the beginning of spring field work there would be another worker in the family.
Most often, the parents themselves announced to their son their will in choosing a bride and went to the bride. In the bride's house they started talking about her beauty, intelligence and hard work. At the mother's call, the bride, dressed at home, appeared, holding a tray with goblets of wine in her hands. She treated those who came and modestly stepped aside. The guests praised the wine and drank deliberately slowly to allow the groom to look at the bride. Then the bride was taken away and asked if she liked the groom. And the groom was asked about the bride.
A few days later, the groom's parents sent matchmakers who came to the house under the guise of lost wanderers.
The matchmaking was completed by the ceremony of hand-shaking, the main significance of which was the solemn agreement on the conditions of marriage. The parents agreed on treasure (i.e. gifts for the bride) and refreshments. Having agreed, the fathers shook hands.
A week before the wedding, gatherings began, for which the bride’s friends gathered every evening, sewed her dresses, and prepared her dowry.
The bride mourned her freedom (“it’s hard to be with you, my will, it’s hard to part with you”), her friends with whom she was parting (“yes, my dear friends, you are all free and wild! Yes, this is the last evening for me to visit, girls, with you"). During the gathering week, friends stayed overnight with the bride.
A few days before the wedding, “pillows” were celebrated. The bride's dowry was carried by cheerful "pillowmen" to the groom's house - they carried light things in their hands, and then carried a chest on a cart. The groom's relatives, led by the mother, accepted the dowry and treated the participants of the "pillow" train.
On the last day before the wedding, the girls gathered at the bride's to bake a traditional loaf, which they decorated with twigs, roses and solemnly carried to the groom's house.
While the girls were singing, the bride was dressed and her hair was braided into one braid. We were waiting for the groom to arrive. Relatives and acquaintances gathered at the groom's house. They prepared the groom: they dressed him, taught him to behave like a gallant Cossack. Then, having collected provisions, they went to the bride’s house, like an army besieging an enemy fortress, and again brought the bride and groom together, who solemnly confirmed their consent to marriage. The bride and groom retired to the young people, and the old ones went to the groom's house for the pre-wedding evening. Here they chose a friend, two matchmakers were chosen to help him, the main one was the bride.
The young people were also having their evenings at this time. With the arrival of the old people, the evening ended, and the bride and her friends, having seen off the groom, returned to the kuren with a sad song:
Yes, cuckoo, cuckoo, don’t be silent, - Let you cuckoo a little, From the great day until Peter!..
The day of graduation was approaching. The groom and his friends mounted their horses, the rest of the “train” participants sat in tarantasses decorated with red ribbons. The Cossack horsemen were desperately horseback riding. The streets of the village were filled with the singing of military Cossack songs and the ringing of bells. The “brave train” noisily rolled up to the bride’s house for the final attack.
By this time, the bride had already said goodbye to her family, sat “on the posada” (a sheepskin coat with the fur on top) in order to be rich and happy. Dressed in a wedding outfit, with a braided hair, she sat at the table surrounded by a matchmaker, an uncle, and younger brothers. The brothers, with whips in their hands, did not allow the groom to see his sister. And the friend, raising the price, bought the bride. After the ransom, the marriage “train” with the bride and groom went to the church for the wedding, and then to the groom’s house, where their parents met them on the porch and blessed them with bread: they broke a large loaf over their heads. In order for the young to live in abundance and prosperity, handfuls of nuts, sweets, grain, wheat, and hops were sprinkled on them. The girls played songs:
Open, mama, the yard is wide, And here you are, mama, your son is in the yard, And not with himself - with his wife, With his faithful servant.
The rite of weaving began: the young man unraveled the girl’s braid, laid the hair on the top of the head and the married woman’s headdress.
And the next day the loaf was distributed with the words “Take the cheese loaf, and give gifts to the young, our young are new, they need a lot,” - the friend brought the young to their father and mother. They proclaimed their gifts: the father to the son - a horse with a saddle for service, and the mother - a heifer or cow for the farm. Then the loaf was distributed to the guests, and everyone gave gifts to the young people.
The friend and matchmakers, having completed their work, handed the young parents over and asked them not to be offended if something went wrong. They were thanked and given gifts. The newlyweds thanked all the participants in the wedding feast and said goodbye, but the festivities could continue for another week after that, during which the young couple visited relatives and friends. This was called “walking on your own.”
This is how weddings were played on the Don. But each farm and village had its own characteristics. The ancient Cossack wedding existed on the Don for a long time, and today in some villages and villages, weddings are held with elements of the ancient ritual - with a groomsman and a matchmaker, a ransom and a loaf, with dancing and singing wedding songs.
Farewell to the war
When leaving on a campaign, the Cossacks gathered in the church for a prayer service. According to custom, they took a handful of earth from the grave of their father or mother from the church or cemetery. The earth was sewn into an amulet (an embroidered bag with a handful of earth and a rewritten prayer) and hung from a cross on the chest. It was believed that this should protect the warrior from injury and other misfortune. If a Cossack was destined to be killed, his native land was the first to fall on his chest.
After his father’s blessing, the Cossack bowed at the feet of his family: “Forgive me, dear father! Sorry, dear mother! Turning to his wife, he said: “God willing, I’ll be back!” Take care of the children!” Seeing her husband off to war, the Cossack woman brought him a horse. She handed over the reins and said: “You are leaving on this horse, and on this horse you are returning home.” Only after accepting the occasion, the Cossack hugged and kissed his wife and children, sat in the saddle, took off his hat, made the sign of the cross and left for the gathering place.
Meeting a Cossack from the war
The meeting was a joyful event in the life of every Cossack family. The Cossacks were met not only by their relatives and friends, but also by all the residents of the village. The Cossacks entered the village solemnly, one of them held the image of the Holy Savior. The Cossacks were greeted with bread and salt, then everyone went to the temple, where a prayer service was served, and the Cossacks handed over the gift they had brought to the temple, since the Cossacks attributed all successes and successes in military affairs to the grace of God. But often in the Cossack temple one could see an icon of the Mother of God decorated with pearls. It was the Cossack widows who placed a pearl on the icon of the Mother of God in eternal remembrance of their murdered husbands.
Farewell to the Cossack on his last journey
For believing Cossacks, death seemed a natural phenomenon that did not cause horror or despair. They had a philosophically wise attitude towards the last day of their lives, believing: once you were born, you must die. That is why some, even during their lifetime, were looking for a burial place.
For a Cossack, death on the battlefield or among his family was considered worthy. When seeing off the Cossack on his final journey, his war horse under a black saddle cloth and with a weapon strapped to the saddle walked behind the coffin, and his relatives followed the horse. In the widow’s house, under the icon lay the hat of the deceased. This meant that the family was under the protection of God and the community.
The Cossack was buried according to the Orthodox rite. The body of the deceased was washed: men - men, women - women. All toiletries that were used during ablution and dressing were certainly burned so that they would not be used to cause damage.
They were commemorated on the day of the funeral, on the 9th and 40th days and on the anniversary of death. In the small Don Cossack villages this is still religiously observed. For funerals, pies with cabbage are baked, sweet pies are made from dried fruits, and compote is made. Before the start of the funeral, kutya - rice with honey or raisins - must be served. Vodka and wine are placed on the table. Previously, we drank strictly three glasses. At dinner they ate only with spoons, no forks were served, and it was desirable that the spoons were wooden. When a person died in the village, they “called to their hearts.” If a child died, the bell would ring high; if an elderly person died, the bell would ring low. The Cossacks associated the approach of death with certain signs. It was believed that disaster would certainly happen if the icon fell to the floor, a dog howled for no reason, or a bird flew into the window. They tried to make death easier for the dying person, opening doors or making a hole in the ceiling. Before death it was necessary to take communion. The Cossacks believed that it was especially bad for suicides in the next world, who were buried separately, outside the cemetery and without a cross.
Second day
On the morning of the second day, the matchmaker washed the bride at the well. The girl threw a coin into the well, drew water and went to her father-in-law and mother-in-law, washed them and dried them with her towel. While she was busy, the “honesty” of the young wife was tested in the newlyweds’ bedroom.
Then the newly-made wife called the guests to the table. The husband was asked to cut up the boiled chicken with his hands. By the way the husband butchered the bird, they looked at how he could “cope” with his wife.
The wedding feast moved to the girl’s former father’s house. The guests went there in a cheerful crowd. Women dressed in men's clothes, men in dresses. Order gave way to deliberate lawlessness. It was on the second day that the young parents were driven around the village in wheelbarrows and could (allegedly accidentally) be dropped. And it’s good if it doesn’t end in mud or a puddle.
