Muslim bride: features of dress and mentality

A Muslim wedding is a unique and colorful celebration, filled with beautiful traditions and customs. Of course, each individual country has its own peculiarities of holding a wedding, but there are common features that are characteristic of all Muslims. The Svadebka.ws portal will tell you about them.

A traditional Muslim wedding consists of the following stages:

1. Matchmaking
2. Henna night
3. Nikah ritual
4. Wedding banquet

Let's find out what Muslim newlyweds and their relatives do at each of these stages of the wedding.

Choosing a dress for the bride for a wedding

Muslim wedding dresses have always differed from European dresses in their modesty and grace. Every Muslim woman, when getting married, must adhere to certain rules in clothing. Respect and veneration of traditions is what they have preserved today, despite modern fashion.

Few people know that Muslim wedding dresses should be closed. The outfit covers the entire body, with the exception of the face, hands and feet. Thus, the bride speaks of her purity and innocence. Despite the closeness of the dress, the girl must show her beauty. Therefore, all Muslim wedding dresses are decorated with extraordinary patterns and ornaments. Beautiful embroidery that emphasizes the bride's figure is made to order.

Open shoulders, forearm, and neck are prohibited. It is also not recommended to wear bright, flashy colors. The bride must find a middle ground: a closed dress that emphasizes her assets, but does not attract undue attention.

Muslim wedding dresses should not be made of transparent or translucent fabrics. You should not give preference to a shiny and vulgar outfit. Remember that the main thing is modesty.

A typical Muslim woman's outfit consists of:

• dresses;
• headdress.

Today, many modern designers offer girls unusual Muslim wedding dresses. If you look at the models in the photo, you will probably want to get married in one of the dresses presented. And this is not surprising, because designers are experimenting with traditional lace and embroidery, as well as multi-layered chiffon dresses and trouser sets.

Thus, Muslim wedding dresses have acquired a modern look without violating traditions. The bride wears a silk scarf on her head, which perfectly complements the dress.

You can always create the look yourself, it’s just important to choose the right fabric

Any girl in a wedding dress looks great. Despite the closed Muslim dresses, you will be feminine and gentle. You can experiment with the material, shades and style of the dress and then you will become not only a real Muslim, but also an example to follow.

Basics of Nikah

In the modern Muslim world, the nikah procedure is based on three components, following each other: on the part of the groom - a proposal for marriage, on the part of the bride - acceptance of this proposal, and on the part of the bride's confidant, who can be her father or older brother, as well as a person acting as the bride's guardian.

When concluding a nikah between a Muslim and a non-Muslim, consent can also be given by the bride’s confidant, who is not related to her, but is a Muslim - this practice is used in the case of a nikah between a Muslim and a Christian or Jewish woman.

Muslim bride in the modern world

The appearance of a Muslim bride is largely determined by tradition. Depending on cultural characteristics, a wedding dress can be straight-cut or with a full skirt. In some countries, the classic dress is generally replaced by a trouser suit or blouse with a long skirt.

Despite strict restrictions when creating a wedding image, new ideas appear every year. Designers have emerged both in Russia and all over the world, creating a unique image of Muslim women. The trendy boho style of clothing is also popular. True, only a truly talented designer can fit it harmoniously into the context of a Muslim wedding.

Irna La Perle. One of the most famous designers in the world of Muslim fashion, Irna La Perle, is from Indonesia. Her dresses emphasize the grace and elegance of the bride. The use of light fabrics and drapery allows you to ignore the closeness of the outfit.

Irna's 2010 collection, presented in Jakarta, made an incredible impression on the public. The combination of Muslim clothing rules and European fashion trends has opened Muslim wedding fashion to the whole world.

Brand Irna La Perle

Irna La Perle

Elie Saab. Elie Saab has a well-deserved popularity. The designer presented his collections in Paris, Milan, and Rome. Moreover, his workshop is still located in his homeland - in Beirut (Lebanon).

Muslim wedding clothing from Elie Saab is distinguished by oriental luxury, emphasized by numerous laces, pearls and sequins. To be fair, it should be noted that the Lebanese designer creates clothes for both Muslim and European consumers.

Elie Saab

Rezeda Suleiman. A popular representative of the Russian world of Muslim fashion is Rezeda Suleiman. One of the goals of the young designer from Kazan is to popularize closed clothing that emphasizes the modesty and beauty of women.

Reseda creates casual and evening wear that fully meets the requirements of Islam. Designer collections such as Bon Azhur and Crystal emphasize the elegance of the Muslim woman.

Rezeda Suleyman

You can find European wedding dresses for plus size girls here.

The bride is preparing shurpa

The process of transferring terry is accompanied by a feast. The bride and her relatives set the table and prepare the national dish - lamb shurpa. After this, the girl leaves her father’s house and goes to live with the family of her future husband. But since Muslim wedding traditions prohibit them from having any relationship before the official wedding, the bride lives in a separate room, almost never leaving it.

Outfits of the spouses

Muslims prefer to make clothes from expensive materials. The groom chooses a classic suit. If we talk about the bride, then she is recommended to choose a dress that takes into account the traditions and requirements of the Koran.

The outfit of the future wife should be:

• made of durable and expensive material: satin or silk;
• with long sleeves;
• with floor length;
• with a covered neckline and shoulders.

The dress can be white or with the addition of bright colors. It has various patterns and ornaments.

If we talk about makeup, it is quite bright. The look fascinates the chosen one.

Sad songs are sung by the bridesmaids. They seem to mourn her departure from her parents' home.

I want to get married!

A young Muslim cannot personally search for his betrothed; this duty is performed by his mother or older sister. The future husband should describe in as much detail as possible what qualities the girl should have - from interests and level of education, to height and build. Just like centuries ago, in our time a certain plumpness and splendor of the bride’s form is valued.

Egyptian Muslims had an interesting custom: the groom could see the applicant’s ankle and evaluate how plump she was and whether she had gold jewelry on her. If the result corresponded to expectations, then the courtship period continued - after all, the family’s favorite is always the most beautiful, she is given gold and is not forced to work. A thin, unadorned and callused leg indicated the opposite, and the chance of getting married was reduced to a minimum.

After the choice has taken place, the newlyweds are introduced. This takes place in the house of the bride's parents, the groom comes accompanied by his family and brings expensive gifts with him. A short conversation with a girl or just an exchange of glances - that’s all on the first date! Then there is a week-long pause in communication, during which time there is a lively exchange of opinions about a possible life partner. Exactly seven days later, the groom receives (or does not receive) consent to the marriage, and the decision is made by the girl. If the courtship is not successful, then the gifts received are returned to the family of the would-be groom.

When is an Arab woman not protected?

An Arab woman does not glance towards other men. Such behavior can disgrace her. Moreover, a woman will never cheat on her husband, otherwise she will become a sinner and will be punished for adultery. Women in the United Arab Emirates, for example, can go to prison for adultery, and in Saudi Arabia they can become victims of stoning. In Jordan, despite liberal morals, so-called honor killings are practiced. Sharia courts treat men who commit them leniently. The murder itself is considered his “private matter.”

In Arab countries, like nowhere else, the problem of sexual violence against women is acute. An Arab woman who is sexually assaulted by a man usually does not report the incident to law enforcement. After all, she could be convicted of adultery.

Physical and psychological domestic violence is particularly common in Iraq. Moreover, a man can easily get away with unworthy behavior. Only some countries, particularly Saudi Arabia, provide criminal penalties for beating a woman.

Bride's headdress

The head of a Muslim bride is always covered with a hijab - a headdress, as in the photo below. It covers the hair, ears and neck of the young beauty. But in some countries, headdresses that reveal these parts of the body, such as a turban or turban, are allowed. Hijab in the image of a Muslim bride does not exclude the presence of a veil, which is worn over the national headdress.

Muslim wedding in a mosque and wedding banquet

The nikah ritual is similar in meaning to a Christian wedding. The young couple goes to the mosque, accompanied by their parents and witnesses. By law, it can be two men, or one man and two women. Everyone wears closed clothing with long sleeves, and their heads must be covered. A mullah is invited to perform the ceremony; he is considered the most knowledgeable and knowledgeable of the laws of the Koran.

The ceremony lasts about an hour, those present bow their heads and listen to the mullah, then read a prayer so that Allah bless the future family union. To perform the ceremony, it is necessary that all those present profess only Islam. The bride is accompanied by a relative or guardian, and it is he who hands the girl over to her future husband. During the ceremony, the groom gives the bride mahr - valuable gifts, the list of which is even indicated in the certificate issued by the mullah.

The tables are set in accordance with the Valim ritual: wine and other types of alcohol, and pork dishes are strictly prohibited. Men and women have fun separately; special rooms are arranged for them and various entertainments are provided. There are usually many guests, at some celebrations there are about a thousand. Muslim weddings are famous for their fun and liveliness, with guests dancing and singing a lot. As for the feast, even the most sophisticated gourmets will be amazed by the abundance of aromatic oriental dishes.

Myths and reality

Everyone has heard about polygamy; the words “if I were a sultan” can be sung by any romantically inclined man, but not a Muslim. The Koran allows to have several wives, but the husband is obliged to fully support each of them and provide her with separate housing. If a woman works, she is free to spend the money she receives as she sees fit, without denying herself anything and without thinking about the future.

Second weddings can also be expensive; just one of them can cost the groom more than $5,000. Calculate the cost of gifts for relatives, offerings to the bride... All obligations towards the future wife are strictly prescribed in the marriage contract. The list may even include a woman’s demands for annual precious gifts on special occasions.

Following Sharia law, the husband is obliged to fully provide for his family, respecting the needs of his wives and children, and also take care of relatives along all lines. Responsibility and a huge financial burden are not for everyone, and many Muslim men either marry once or generally prefer freedom from marriage obligations.

As for the law obliging women to cover their faces in public, in our time even Arab Muslim women wear European clothes under their veils and can show them off at a party, and not just at home. In some Muslim countries, young girls are allowed to wear knee-length skirts over trousers. Regarding the hair covering – the hijab – visible changes are also taking place. Often it is replaced with an ordinary headscarf or even a ribbon, and in secular Muslim countries (Azerbaijan) many women generally go bareheaded. Modern trends have become noticeable in the surroundings of weddings, but the main traditions have remained intact.

Henna night

In Muslim countries, even a bachelorette party has the poetic name “Henna Night”. This is an amazingly beautiful custom: the evening before the ceremony the groom spends with his friends, and the bride with relatives and friends. Beautiful henna patterns are applied to the palms and feet; each pattern has its own symbolism. The ancient meaning of mehendi (the language of symbols) dates back to the times of Babylon. Only a happily married woman can get temporary tattoos. Often the initials of the groom are woven into the drawings: previously, the groom could only recognize his betrothed by his hands, because they were not allowed to see each other. Henna must be of high quality: it is believed that the longer the painting lasts, the better for the bride, because she is freed from homework until the patterns are washed off. It is believed that a correctly applied ornament will grant the new family peace, prosperity and happiness.

The bride is dressed up in an expensive dress (wedding dresses, richly embroidered and decorated, are often passed down by inheritance). The face is covered with a veil. Friends sing sad songs, shower the girl with coins, wishing for wealth and to give birth to an heir as soon as possible.

Age of marriage for girls and boys

Representatives of all madhhabs agree that a woman and a man entering into marriage and pronouncing the nikah formula must be adults (from Arabic “baligh”), as well as sane.

A woman who is a virgin cannot enter into nikah without the consent of her guardian, even after reaching adulthood.

Ijma or the consensus of all scholars from all madhhabs implies that the onset of menstruation and the opportunity to become pregnant and give birth to a child is sufficient to allow a woman to marry, but the age of majority is set differently by different madhhabs if menstruation is absent or boys do not have wet dreams.

The Hanbalis and Shafi'is consider the age of majority to be fifteen for both boys and girls, while the Malikis set the age of majority at seventeen. The Hanafis consider the age of majority to be eighteen years old, while the Jafaris set the age of majority for girls at nine years and for boys at fifteen. There is an opinion among some modern scholars among Shiites that girls should not enter into nikah at such an early age.

Muslim wedding customs and rituals

A Muslim man cannot look for a wife on his own; this is done by the women of his family - his mother or older sister. The future spouse describes in detail the desired qualities of his chosen one:

• height;
• build;
• level of education;
• interests;
• social status.

Muslims value a woman's luxurious form, so grooms are allowed to see a girl's ankle under her robes and evaluate its thickness. If you like the result, then the candidate continues to be tested further. A thin or thin ankle, which is so valued in the West, according to Muslim traditions indicates the poverty of the applicant, reducing to a minimum the chance of getting married.

When the bride is found, the period of courtship and preparation for the wedding begins. The newlyweds are introduced to the girl's parents' house, where the man comes with his family and gives his future wife expensive gifts. On the first date, young people are allowed a short conversation and an exchange of glances - no more. Then there is a pause in communication while the girl’s family evaluates the candidate for their daughter’s hand in marriage. After a week, the bride's side must give an answer. If the groom's courtship for some reason is not successful, then his gifts are returned.

Ritual “Night of Henna”

The most beautiful Muslim wedding tradition is the night before the wedding. The groom gets a henna pattern on his palm, and the bride gets a floral design on her palms and feet, which is why the ceremony is called “Henna Night.” The groom goes to have fun with friends before the wedding, and the future wife is dressed in a beautiful Muslim dress with expensive embroidery, covering her face with a veil. The groom's mother lays out a carpet under the girl's feet, which she presents as a gift, and invited friends shower her with coins, wishing for continuation of the family line and family well-being.

Painting palms and feet with henna (mehendi) has its own language. These traditions have been known since the times of ancient Babylon, and the painting is entrusted to a woman who is happily married. The elm of the wedding pattern must necessarily hide the initials of the groom, which he will find on his first wedding night. This is a kind of technique for recognizing the bride, because the newlyweds might not have seen each other at all before the wedding. The henna chosen is of high quality, because the longer it stays in the girl’s hands, the longer the newlywed is freed from any housework.

Nikah ceremony

According to the Muslim wedding tradition, the Nikah ritual provides for four conditions:

1. Presence of a male relative on the bride's side.
2. The presence of male witnesses on both sides who are Muslims.
3. Full payment of bride price by the groom to the bride's parents.
4. The agreement of both young people to live a joint family life.

Violation of any condition becomes a reason for divorce. A wedding ceremony in the east is usually held in a mosque, where the mullah reads suras from the Koran to the newlyweds, which give instructions for family life. Nikah lasts about an hour, during which those present listen to the mullah and read prayers. During the ceremony, the groom presents valuable gifts to his chosen one, a list of which is on the mullah’s list and indicated on the marriage certificate. According to the Muslim tradition, Nikah ends with the exchange of silver rings.

Ritual "Valim"

The traditional setting of the wedding table is called “Valim” among Muslims. This ritual has a religious meaning: you cannot eat foods prohibited by the Koran and drink alcoholic beverages. The Muslim wedding table is filled with an abundance of vegetables, fruits and sweets. The wedding feast never lasts long, and does not turn into an endless drinking session. Relatives and friends of the newlyweds are invited to the table, but people of other religions are not allowed to the Muslim feast at the wedding.

How does a Tatar wedding take place?

A Tatar wedding is a bright and very complex phenomenon of Tatar life. Many scientific works are devoted to the study of family and wedding Tatar traditions. The fact that the majority of Tatars are Muslims dictates that the wedding be held according to the laws of Islam, and the rich national customs of the ancient people make the Tatar wedding original and interesting.

Matchmakers - kudalar - go to visit the bride from the groom's side. Mostly these are respected people. Among them there may be close relatives of the young man who go to the girl’s family house to find out more about her and also exchange gifts with the bride’s relatives. If the girl likes the young man, then she gives him a white embroidered scarf through intermediaries. In turn, the Kudalar give the girl perfume and jewelry, as well as all kinds of sweets. All this is certainly beautifully packaged and decorated with bows and ribbons. The groom's relatives also do not leave empty-handed. They need to give the young man several handkerchiefs, shirts decorated with patterns embroidered by the bride, as well as several trays of pastries and sweets, which are also beautifully packaged. Then the matchmakers discuss the engagement date and leave.

Nikah is a Muslim marriage. concluded in accordance with Shariah. Nikah stipulates that both future spouses have converted to Islam, that they have reached marriageable age and are not related, and also, according to Nikah, the man’s financial situation should allow him to pay the ransom and support his family, more details Muslim traditions, customs and holidays

After the end of the festive feasts, the newlyweds, as a rule, should visit the bridal bathhouse. For their departure, special pancakes are prepared for the son-in-law. When the son-in-law eats pancakes, he must quietly put a coin under the plate of pancakes. Then the bridesmaids arrange a viewing for the groom, subject him to various comic tests and take him to the wedding chambers. The newlywed stays in his wife's house for four days, makes multiple offerings to relatives, and gives a particularly expensive gift to his wife. The bride's return gifts consist of her handicrafts.

The final stage of the wedding is the wife moving to her husband's house and wedding feasts with the groom's relatives. They greet the bride, observing customs: they place an inverted fur coat or pillow under the young woman’s feet, dip her hands in flour, treat her with freshly baked bread and honey, present some animal as her property, and show her the way to the spring.

Woman in Islam

In Arab countries, the way of life of women is largely determined by Islam. Before God she is equal to a man. A woman, like the stronger sex, is obliged to observe Ramadan, perform daily prayers, and make donations. However, her social role is special.

The purpose of a woman in Arab countries is marriage, motherhood and raising children. She is entrusted with the mission of guardian of the peace and religiosity of the home. A woman in Islam is a righteous wife, respectful and respectful towards her husband, who is ordered to take full responsibility for her and provide for her financially. A woman should obey him, be submissive and modest. Her mother has been preparing her for the role of housewife and wife since childhood.

The life of an Arab woman, however, is not limited to just the home and household chores. She has the right to study and work if this does not interfere with family happiness.

Modern Muslim wedding

The holy book of Muslims - the Koran - allows men to have not one, but several wives at the same time. In fact, it turns out that even one wife is very expensive to support. Therefore, not every representative of the stronger sex gets married even once. To “play” a Muslim wedding, the groom needs at least five thousand dollars. However, gifts for the future wife and her relatives are not included in this amount.

After the wedding, the newly-made husband should not relax either, because he will have to feed the family on his own. The wife, even if she works, has every right to spend her salary on her feminine whims. These financial responsibilities of a man are indicated as a separate clause in the marriage contract. The wishes of the wife are also written there, for example, expensive gifts every year and so on. The Law also calls for respecting the wife's needs and respecting her. For the reasons described above, many men in Arab countries remain single for a long time. They like to hit on foreign tourists because they are not so strict towards them.

Dress of a Muslim woman getting married

Muslim fashion is quite different from European fashion. However, despite all the outward modesty, there is no place for ordinary elements on the dress of a Muslim bride. Often, such a dress looks both modest and luxurious at the same time, and to achieve this effect, brides put in a huge amount of effort. The elements of the dress and external image of a Muslim bride include:

• the dress itself, which is made from expensive fabrics;
• decorations on the dress, of which there can be a lot;
• long and patterned earrings;
• hijab decorated with multi-colored or plain stones.

The most popular image for a Muslim bride at present is the princess image, which includes a rather fluffy skirt and an elegant corset, which is decorated with ribbons or rhinestones.

Today, they also often choose a mermaid look or an A-line dress. The fact is that Western trends are now actively being introduced into Eastern culture, so it is somewhat modified.

Among the main features of Muslim attire, it can be noted that arms, shoulders, as well as legs and back must be covered. In the bride's image, translucent sleeves are even prohibited, as is the use of lace. It is quite logical that in this case you don’t even have to think about the neckline. However, despite such strict conditions and restrictions, girls know how to emphasize their own attractiveness.

If a girl has an hourglass figure, then she can subtly emphasize the attractiveness of her curves with a mermaid wedding dress, or choose a fitted dress with a full skirt.

Interesting! Why women in the UAE still wear gold masks

The fact that the dress has long sleeves provides an excellent opportunity for many Muslim girls to decorate them to their liking. The use of lace, various ribbons, and other decorative means is allowed in the sleeves.

Depending on how much money the family has the opportunity to spend on the wedding, many girls decorate their dresses with precious and semi-precious stones. This makes the bride feel like a queen. It is worth noting separately that Muslim weddings always take place on a truly royal scale.

Myths and reality

Islam is one of the most widespread religions in the world, rivaling Christianity in the number of its adherents. Like Christianity, it has different branches, with their own characteristics in the conduct of religious rites and festive ceremonies. Geography, the state structure of the countries where Muslims live, as well as the influence of European culture leave their mark. In a rapidly developing world, strict Sharia laws are increasingly making concessions to the demands of the times. And yet, some myths about the way of life of Muslims are very tenacious, especially regarding the powerless position of their women.

Myth one: Muslim women are poor, downtrodden and put up with their husbands having other wives.

There is some truth in this, but with important amendments. Yes, the Koran allows a Muslim to have several wives, but not everyone can take advantage of this right due to the fact that having even one wife is a very expensive pleasure in the Middle East. You need to pay a ransom for the bride, make impressive gifts to her relatives, take on all wedding expenses and then support your spouse and young children together for life.

If the wife wants to work, then she is free to spend all the money she earns only on herself. In addition, the marriage contract stipulates in detail her material rights and obligations of her husband, up to the number of annual gifts and the amount she will receive in the event of a divorce. So, it is difficult to call a married Muslim woman “poor”. And it is not surprising that in Arab countries there are quite a lot of bachelors who cannot afford the luxury of getting married.

Myth two: all Muslim women are required to wear a veil.

In fact, Islamic law obliges a woman to cover her face only on the street, in public places. And today, under the veil, Muslim women often wear modern European clothes, which they freely demonstrate at home and away. In addition, some Muslim countries have relaxed the requirements of women's wardrobe. And instead of a veil, it is allowed to wear a knee-length skirt over jeans.

Myth three: a Muslim bride is not free in her choice and sees her destined groom for the first time only at the wedding.

Not certainly in that way. Yes, according to the customs of the Islamic world, a girl cannot get married without the approval of her family. And often it is the parents who select a spouse for their daughter or son. But after the matchmaking ceremony, the girl has a week to think, after which she gives a negative or positive answer to the marriage proposal. So, in any case, even if the young people were strangers before, then during matchmaking their visual contact will take place. But only visual! Even young people shaking hands is not allowed. This is carefully monitored by older relatives.

Beautiful Arab women: stereotypes about appearance

Westerners have many stereotypes about what Arab women look like. In their minds, they are necessarily curly, dark-eyed, plump and have chocolate skin. However, the appearance of these women does not completely fit the template described above, since African, European, and Asian blood flows in their veins.

The large almond-shaped eyes of the Arab woman can be either bright blue or black. They are mostly brown or greenish. Their hair is dark brown, chocolate, black, and not only curly, but also straight and wavy. Arab women rarely prefer short haircuts. After all, long luxurious hair looks much more feminine.

The skin color of oriental beauties varies from milky white to chocolate. The face of Arab women is usually oval, but in Egypt and Sudan it can also be elongated. They are well built, and if they tend to be overweight, it is only a little.

A substantial ransom or terry is paid for the bride

When a positive response is received from the young family, dates are set for wedding events: Nikah and painting at the registry office. And before that, the young man’s family pays the family of his future wife a ransom or mahr. This is either an agreed amount, or real estate, cars or jewelry. Sometimes a father gives his daughter in marriage to someone to whom he has a large debt. Then the ransom is release from this debt.

Wedding banquet

How do Muslim weddings work? On a grand scale! Traditionally, the banquet begins with a ritual called “valim” - setting the festive table, which contains only halal products permitted by Islamic norms. The abundance of treats is simply mind-boggling! The only thing prohibited at the celebrations is alcohol and pork dishes. But there are more than enough oriental sweets at the wedding! And the decor of the event itself amazes with its luxury and effectiveness!

All relatives, neighbors and friends from among the godly are invited to the feast. In addition, unlike a wedding, you can invite friends of other faiths to the holiday. According to Muslim customs, men and women at a wedding must sit in separate rooms, but modern couples do not always adhere to this rule. Guests sing and dance a lot, so Muslim celebrations are fun and noisy!

The portal www.svadebka.ws told you about the traditions and customs of a Muslim wedding, in particular what a Muslim wedding is called and how it is carried out. Although many newlyweds now celebrate in a modern way, the main rituals are carried out strictly, because they have great meaning for most Muslim couples! Therefore, when preparing a wedding in an oriental style, if one of the newlyweds is an adherent of the Islamic religion, you should definitely take these points into account!

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About wedding rings

Unlike Russian traditions, wedding rings among Muslim people are not considered symbols of betrothal. This falls more into the category of wedding gifts. If you study religion, it says that your spouse can wear silver jewelry. Women are given the opportunity to choose the material themselves. Jewelry can be made of silver, gold or platinum.

Customs before nikah

On the part of the Muslim groom, it is necessary to comply with the following conditions and requirements before the Muslim wedding:

• In Islam, it is advisable to have a wedding with a girl you like. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “For two loving hearts, there is nothing more worthy than marriage.” But a Muslim must choose as his wife the girl who suits him in her values ​​and worldview - if this is so, then the man should hint to the girl about his intentions on nikahs;
• if a girl reciprocates a man’s feelings, then the groom should meet her parents in order to obtain permission from them to marry their daughter and their blessing;
• when the girl’s consent is received and her parents’ blessing is received, the groom must comply with the following condition of a Muslim wedding - organize matchmaking and then engagement;
• After the engagement ceremony, the bride and groom cannot touch each other and enter into intimate relationships before the nikah ceremony is performed; the bride and groom are still considered strangers to each other. But the engagement gives them the opportunity to communicate among their relatives.
• After all the specified conditions are met, the groom can set the date for the nikah and wedding.

Matchmaking before an Islamic wedding involves receiving parental blessings, and on this day the date for the wedding is chosen. On the day of the engagement, the parents of the bride and groom usually discuss all issues related to the financial support of the wedding and all organizational issues.

Henna night

Traditionally, some Muslim weddings involve a night of seeing off the bride and groom, which is called “henna night”: the newlyweds spend this night with their family.
In the house where the bride lives, women gather and paint the bride’s palms and feet with a special wedding henna design. Relatives help the bride put on a beautiful, embroidered dress. The bride must cover her face with an opaque veil. On Henna Night, girls and women gathered in the bride's house can sing songs for the bride. The men, gathered in the house where the Muslim groom lives, are having fun. In his house, a ceremony is held that is similar to the women's: the man's relatives and friends of the groom congratulate him, give him advice and instructions, and express wishes for happiness.

Wedding dress in Islam

A modern Islamic wedding does not prescribe any single standard in wedding attire, and it largely depends on the taste of the bride and fashion trends. What distinguishes modern Muslim wedding attire from Western wedding attire is the rule that the bride’s dress must be closed, and only the hands can remain visible, as well as the feet and face. The fabric from which the wedding dress is made is given serious importance: the fabrics can be beautiful, but discreet, opaque, and the outfit itself should be tailored so that it does not hug the bride’s figure, covering her legs, shoulders, neck, chest and arms. The bride's outfit depends on how strict the rules and laws of Sharia are in the country: in some countries there are requirements that the bride must wear gloves to cover her hands and cover her face with a veil at a Muslim wedding.

Marriage of a Muslim to a Christian

According to Islam, marriage is possible between a Muslim and a Christian, but only if a number of conditions are met.

Since nikkah is a norm of Islam, which was especially revered by our ancestors and which has been observed for many centuries unquestioningly by Muslims all over the world, it confirms both the strength of the feelings of the young and the sincerity of their intentions. A Muslim can marry a woman who belongs to any religion, but she must be a sincerely believing woman who observes all religious rituals. When a nikah is performed with a Christian woman, the ceremony can be held without the bride renouncing her faith - this is permitted in Islam. If the young woman has decided to become a Muslim, then during the nikah ceremony she can read the shahada, in which they praise the One God Allah - this will automatically transfer her to the status of a Muslim wife.

For more information about marriage between a Christian and a Muslim, read this article.

Read here what it's like to marry a Muslim.

Holidays and religious customs of Muslims

Followers of Islam celebrate all holidays according to the lunar calendar. The beginning of knowledge, which is marked by a special date - the day of migration (08/15/622) of Muhammad from Mecca to Medina. Eid al-Adha and Kurban Bayram are considered special and significant annual holidays. There is also an important weekly holiday - namaz. Muslims also celebrate celebrations that appeared before the birth of Islam.

Eid al-Adha

70 days after the end of Uraza (fasting), the date of celebration of the first largest Muslim celebration begins. On the eve of the holiday, pilgrims climb Mount Arafat. On the day of the sacrifice, they perform a seven-fold circumambulation of the Kaaba (tawaf) and a symbolic ritual - throwing stones. The history of the appearance of Kurban Bayram is closely associated with one of the sacred legends: Ismail, under the punishment of the angel Gabriel, was going to sacrifice his son. Allah prepared this test for him to test whether his faith was true. At the last moment, God took pity on the unfortunate father, and the sacrifice was replaced by a ram. Since then, every Muslim family slaughters a camel, sheep or ram on this day. They keep only 1/3 of the animal’s meat for themselves, the rest is distributed to those in need.

Preparations for the celebration begin long before the onset of Kurban Bayram. In the previous 20 days, it is prohibited to organize special events, have fun, appear in public in new outfits, or visit a hairdresser. xHousewives always bake ritual bread on the eve of the celebration. On holiday mornings, services are held in mosques. After this, the family feast begins. The main dishes of the holiday are prepared from the meat of an animal sacrificed. Eid al-Fitr lasts 3 days. These days, Muslims visit the graves of deceased relatives and distribute alms.

Eid al Adha

The holiday of breaking the fast is celebrated the day after the end of Ramadan. The date of the celebration is 1 Shawallah. During Eid al-Fitr, adherents of Islam, instead of the usual greeting, address each other with the phrase “Eid Mubarak!” Translated, this phrase means “Blessed Holiday!”

The celebration of Eid al-Adha begins with Eid Namaz (ritual prayer). After this ceremony, they set the tables, go to visit, and have fun. On this day, it is customary to ask for forgiveness, treat all children with sweets, give gifts to relatives and friends, and distribute alms to those in need.

Daily five times prayer

The primary and obligatory ritual for every Muslim is prayer. The prayer is said daily 5 times a day. It is not necessary to go to a mosque for this; you can say sacred prayers at home or at work. This applies to all days of the week except Friday. On this day, adherents of Islam, regardless of age and gender, are required to visit the mosque. Friday prayer is called Juma prayer.

Nowruz

One of the most ancient and brightest holidays is the Day of the Vernal Equinox. This celebration began to be celebrated long before the advent of Islam. Nowruz has ancient Iranian roots and is associated with the cult of the Sun and the legendary prophet Zarathushtra. The first mention of this holiday was found in the holy book “Avesta”.

In ancient times, this day was considered the beginning of a new year, according to the lunar calendar. The ancient traditions of Muslims are still honored in some countries. On the eve of Navruz, houses are thoroughly cleaned and festive dishes are prepared. In the morning, men and women, dressed in beautiful clothes, organize a procession (gulgardoni): they walk along the street with bouquets of the first spring flowers and sing songs dedicated to the arrival of spring and the beginning of sowing work.

At a gala family dinner, there are always 7 dishes prepared from ingredients whose names begin with “sin”, and the national sweet – malt halva (sumanak). A mirror is placed on the table, and candles are placed on both sides of it. Their number corresponds to the number of family members.

Feast

Towards evening they have a feast. Relatives, neighbors and friends are invited. Everyone, including young people, comes to the feast in new clothes. Before the meal, the Koran is read. The feast is accompanied by dancing, and men and women dance separately from each other.

The table of dishes must include festive pilaf, lots of snacks and sweets. A special wedding soup with a lot of seasonings is prepared for the newlyweds.

An interesting wedding tradition in Egypt is that the newlyweds must dance the shemodan - this is a rather complex but interesting dance with a candelabra on the head. Without it, the newlyweds are not considered spouses. At the first sounds of the shemodan, guests line up in a circle, into which the bride, groom and girl are launched, who shows the bride the dance moves. For half an hour, the bride performs a belly dance for the groom to the screams of jubilant guests.

Judging by the reviews, a wedding in Egypt is an exciting and mysterious spectacle, it seems as if you are being transported to the times of Ancient Egypt.

After the banquet, the newlyweds go to their new home and begin their life together.

Pre-wedding rituals

It should be noted that before the wedding, people in love are not supposed to meet alone, and the guy can only see his beloved’s face and hands. According to the laws, no contact should take place between them and even handshakes are prohibited. These strict requirements are dictated by Islamic morality.

A guy in love asks his beloved girl for consent to marriage, but he does not do it on his own. He asks his elder relative to ask the consent of any married relative of the girl for him. If these people come to a mutual agreement, then they discuss the day on which they can invite matchmakers.

Next, according to custom, comes “Nikah” - it’s like a wedding in a church among Orthodox Christians, only all the action takes place in the bride’s house. On the day, which was discussed in advance, the matchmakers come or arrive at the bride’s house with sweets and gifts. In the bride's house they prepare "shorpa" from the slaughtered ram. The woman, who is a relative of the guy, puts the ring on the bride's ring finger. After which a bridesmaid ceremony is held, and the bride price is given. At this time, the bride wears a red scarf on her head.

After this ritual, no one will be able to interfere with the wedding and further family life. Muslims can have polygamy. But the Koran calls for marriage with one beloved. But if there are many wives, then the husband is obliged to spend an equal amount of time with each.

Spiritual Guidelines of Islam

The nikah ceremony can take place in any language. The main thing is that the bride, groom and witnesses understand the meaning of what was said and what is happening.

At the beginning of the ceremony, the mullah reads a sermon:

about the meaning of marriage and the mutual responsibility of spouses to each other; about the importance of decent upbringing of offspring.

Traditionally, during the ceremony, a relative of the bride asks her consent to marry. At the same time, the bride’s silence does not mean that she objects. Spiritual traditions allow that, being a virgin, the future wife may simply be embarrassed to express her “yes” out loud.

If a woman does not want to get married, no one has the right to force her to do so. This applies to both relatives and the groom himself or representatives of the clergy. Forcing marriage is considered a great sin in Islam. When the bride and groom express mutual consent, the imam or mullah announces that the marriage has been concluded. After this, excerpts from the Koran are read and prayers are offered for the happiness and well-being of the young family.

Important! In accordance with spiritual tradition, it is recommended to end the nikah with a celebration, to which many guests are invited and abundant food is served.

For Muslims, weddings are not just a beautiful custom. In accordance with the wills of the Prophet, men who have the opportunity and desire to marry must do so. The concept of “opportunity” includes:

• normal physical and mental health;
• awareness of moral responsibility for the family and willingness to accept it;
• the required level of material security;
• literacy in matters of religion.

Muslims, not without reason, believe that compliance with these rules is an indispensable condition for happiness and harmony in marriage.

Marriage ceremony

If the couple belonged to Muslims, of whom there are about 70% in Kazakhstan, then they entered into marriage according to the laws of Islam. The bride and groom sat on their knees in front of the mullah, who had a bowl of water and silver coins. The mullah read a prayer three times, after which the bride and groom drank water in the same place. Then the witnesses brought a bowl of water not only to the newlyweds, but also to everyone present, who caught the coins with a teaspoon.

What followed was a celebration. In terms of the format of the celebration, modern Kazakh weddings are very different from those weddings when all traditions and customs were respected. However, the dance at a Kazakh wedding remained unchanged, without which it is impossible to imagine any celebration among this people.

Muslim dress decorations

It is the details that make Muslim wedding dresses unique and inimitable. The finishing plays the main role. The dress can be embroidered:

• beads;
• bugles;
• precious stones;
• lace

The photos below show how beautiful and chic wedding dresses for Muslim women can be.

Despite the set of strict rules, modern Muslim brides are allowed some exceptions when choosing a wedding dress. So a girl can wear a pantsuit to the ceremony. True, it is often complemented by a skirt or a wide scarf tied on top. An eastern bride can choose a more open, European-style outfit: with a neckline, open arms and even knee length. But such liberties are allowed only when the bride and groom celebrate on different halves of the house. A similar custom is typical for some Muslim families. If the bride and groom celebrate their wedding together, then such liberties are not allowed here. The customs and traditions of an oriental style wedding are quite strict.

It is worth noting that European fashion still transforms the strict Muslim way of life. This is how the following appeared in the arsenal of eastern brides:

1. Stand collar. It allows you to slightly open your neck, but maintain the rule of a closed image.
2. Corset. Visually emphasizes the chest and draws a wasp waist even under a loose-fitting dress.
3. Asymmetrical sleeves. Elongated at the back and shortened at the front, they will not allow you to depart from the canons, and will demonstrate the graceful hands of the bride.

For Muslim women, an important characteristic of a wedding dress is its practicality. No matter how strange it may sound, given the deliberate luxury of oriental outfits in some cases

A wedding dress should not be an outfit for one day and then gather dust in the closet. This is considered a waste. Therefore, Muslim brides have to look for both a practical and spectacular dress.

One of the main assistants in this is the famous designer Elie Saab. The Lebanese fashion designer has become famous not only for dressing Hollywood stars, but also for creating real masterpieces of wedding fashion. Lush Muslim dresses from Elie Saab are made of luxurious fabrics: silk and guipure, tulle and crepe; exquisite decor: lace, rhinestones and fabric flowers. And also courage and love for experiments. Most recently, he launched a line of wedding dresses, including wedding jumpsuits. Some wedding dresses from this collection are suitable for Muslim women.

Very beautiful wedding dresses in Muslim style are made by Indonesian designer Irna la Perle. Her dresses are very popular among oriental brides, and this is not surprising. Wedding dresses from Irna la Perle are beautiful and romantic, and at the same time meet the requirements of Muslim culture.

Today, wedding salons offer a large selection of wedding dresses in Muslim style. And finding “that” wedding dress won’t be difficult.

The portal www.svadebka.ws told and showed you how luxurious a Muslim wedding dress can be.

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Traditional Wedding Clothes

Muslim wedding clothing is of great importance in the ceremony. It must comply with all canons, even if a Muslim wedding is being held in Russia. Bridal dresses are made from beautiful, expensive fabrics - silk, satin or others. The fabric should under no circumstances be transparent. The cut of the outfit should ensure that the legs, arms, neck, shoulders and chest are covered. Also, the dress should not tightly fit your figure. There are countries in which the customs are even stricter, for example, the bride wears gloves to her wedding to hide even her hands.

A bride's wedding dress can be colorful and bright. It is often decorated with lace or gold thread. The ornament on the dress is not just a design. It carries a certain meaning. Usually these are patterns symbolizing fertility, piety, and the humble disposition of a girl. A veil or hijab is put on the head - the young woman’s face must be covered.

Shariah dictates that no guest, not even a relative, should see the face or hair of the bride during the wedding. Despite such strict restrictions, designers manage to create magnificent wedding dresses that even a European bride will envy. These dresses, along with accessories, sometimes even become masterpieces of art.

By the way, the choice of cut and color of the bride’s outfit is influenced by the country in which the wedding is being held. For example, a future wife in Indonesia puts on a blouse and a skirt and complements them with a belt. All elements of the Indonesian bride's clothing have bright colors, guipure trim, embroidery and other decorations. Palestinians usually wear red, purple, pink or orange ornaments. There are also white dresses.

The outfits of Indian brides are some of the most colorful. They can have a rich cherry, bright green and even gold color. In addition, the ensemble is complemented by jewelry - brooches, tiaras, gold rings with inserts of emeralds or rubies. Even the shoes of an Indian bride can be embroidered with precious stones. Despite the fact that the image turns out to be very colorful and shiny, it cannot be called disharmonious. On the contrary, everything fits perfectly together.

Nikah

The traditional wedding ceremony among Muslims is called “nikah”.
In accordance with religious traditions, all believers, when concluding a family union, go through this ceremony, otherwise the marriage will be considered invalid. This means that living together between spouses without nikah is, from an Islamic point of view, illegal, and children will be born in sin. In modern society, the fact of performing nikah is confirmed by a document that has no legal force. Despite this, Muslims continue to sacredly honor and observe the customs of their ancestors.

Nikah is a ritual prescribed by Sharia (a set of rules concerning the life of Muslims, based on observance of the Koran). It symbolizes the sacred marriage between a man and a woman. Its essence is not only in acquiring the right to legal family relationships, living together, living and having children, but also in taking mutual obligations.

They are seriously preparing for nikah. First of all, the newlyweds inform their parents of their intention to get married in order to receive their blessing. Long before the wedding ceremony, future spouses discuss the most important moments of their life together and their expectations from each other. Thus, a girl can warn her future husband that she intends to get an education, and only after that consider having children.

Muslims are confident that all important issues, even the most intimate ones, should be discussed before marriage in order to get rid of unpleasant surprises in the future. Modern youth do not consider it immodest to come to their nikah with a marriage contract in their hands, which is read out during the ceremony in front of witnesses, in the presence of a clergyman.

Muslim funeral rites

From the first day of their birth to the last minute of their earthly existence, Muslims live by adhering to Sharia. The code of laws mentions: every true believer must prepare himself for the afterlife during his lifetime.

It is customary to bury a deceased Muslim as soon as possible, preferably within 24 hours after death. Definitely before sunset. Preparations for burial and funeral are carried out in compliance with all Muslim customs and traditions.

Ablution

First, the deceased person is washed with water and cedar oil (powder). Then with water with the addition of camphor and only after that with clean water. After this ritual, the deceased is wrapped in a special robe (shroud). The man's shroud consists of 3 parts: lifawa, isar and kamis. Two more parts are added to the women's: khimar (head cover) and khirka (a separate piece of fabric for covering the chest).

Janaza

Funeral prayer is different from all others. During its reading, prostration and kneeling are not provided. Before reading the janaza, the imam addresses those present with questions: did the deceased have any debts or was he in a quarrel with anyone present? And then asks to forgive everything to the deceased.

The body of the deceased is delivered to the cemetery on a special stretcher - tobut. At least 4 people carry them to the grave. Lower the body with your feet down, at this time your head should be directed towards the Qibla.

How does matchmaking happen?

After meeting the bride has taken place, the next stage is matchmaking. During such a visit, all important aspects of the wedding celebration are discussed. To determine the date of the holiday, look at the Muslim wedding calendar.

Everything related to the financial issue, these responsibilities fall on the groom’s side. And also, the newlyweds are not even allowed to hold hands before the wedding. And the bride should wear only closed clothes. Therefore, he will not be able to see all the beauty of his bride.

Editor's choice: Songs for a bachelorette party: how to organize a holiday for the bride

Bottom line

A Muslim wedding is a beautiful custom that is honored by every generation of Muslims. Young people firmly believe that nikah will allow a young family to lead a happy and long family life. Muslim marriages without nikah cannot be recognized in their homeland.

Many couples go to their homeland specifically for the wedding. Of course, every nationality has differences in the ceremony. But they are united by one thing - reverence for Allah and faith in holy traditions that are passed on from generation to generation. Only their observance will mark the beginning of a new happy life.

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“Wedding according to Sharia is the key to family happiness”

Akhmed Tangiev, executive director of the cultural and educational center and host of the weekly spiritual and educational program on the NTRK Ingushetia TV channel, told the Ingushetia newspaper about what a Muslim needs to know before a wedding, what traditions exist and what stages a Muslim wedding consists of.

Muslim wedding

- Ahmed, let's start with how to prepare for the wedding? What should a Muslim know before deciding to tie the knot?

— One of the religions professed by billions of people on our planet is Islam. To be a Muslim means to walk your life’s path with faith in Allah, to be submissive to Him, and to strictly observe the laws of Sharia. The Muslim religion pays special attention to family and family relationships: love and harmony, care and mutual trust should reign there. The role of a man is to be the head: to protect and provide for his family.

The marriage ceremony begins with an agreement between the Muslim groom and the bride's guardian, when the guardian (whether father, brother, uncle or other relative or confidant) of the bride gives her in marriage to the groom; and he takes her as his wife. The main person in the ritual is the imam or mullah, who praises the Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) and his descendants, “khutbah” (thanks to Allah for the marriage), reads a sura from the Koran about the duties and rights of the future wife.

In the modern world, marriages are registered and marriage contracts are concluded, although previously they were concluded only in front of witnesses.

— What should you pay special attention to when choosing a spouse?

“There are also hadiths about this that concern both men and women. And we can see in them that the main criterion was religiosity. Thus, one hadith says: “If someone whose religiosity and decency you are satisfied with comes to you [to woo your daughter], then unite them in marriage; if you do not do this, then there will be unrest on earth and excessive debauchery” (at-Tirmidhi).

Regarding the choice of men it is said: “Verily, a woman is taken as a wife because of her religion, because of her wealth and because of her beauty, and you should marry one (Muslim woman) who is committed to religion, otherwise you will lose” ( Ahmad, Muslim, at-Tirmidhi, an-Nasai).

It is also worth noting that religiosity in this case does not mean compliance with the subtleties of the external requirements of religion, the manifestation of intolerance towards others and fanatical narrow-mindedness. Religiosity in other hadiths is associated with responsibility, reliability, prudence, safety (in relation to others) and other highly moral qualities.

Religiosity is a whole list of moral traits that testify to a person’s good morals and decency, and not just his affiliation with a religion. Regarding the wedding, it was said that “the most blessed marriage is the one that is concluded as simply as possible” (Bayhaki).

— Let's talk a little more about lavish weddings. Today, many people organize such wedding feasts that if you collect all the money spent on it, you can buy a good apartment in Magas. How much is this allowed in Islam?

“According to Sharia, a Muslim is not obliged to throw a magnificent feast and waste money. The Koran says: “Eat and drink, but do not excess. For He (the Almighty) does not love those who excess.” But most Muslims at all times arrange rich feasts and lavish weddings for their children, thereby emphasizing their affection and respect for invited guests and future relatives.

Considering that not everyone has the opportunity to hold lavish celebrations, this hadith gives permission to conduct it more simply in order to avoid ostentation, anxiety, and unnecessary expenses (waste).

It is narrated from Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, that when Abd ar-Rahman ibn Awf got married, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) told him: “Prepare a wedding meal from at least one sheep” (al-Bukhari, Muslim).

Experiences associated with the high cost of a wedding celebration often have a negative impact on the marriage itself. Sometimes there may be objective reasons for this (debts, serious damage to the budget), and often the anxiety accumulated during preparation affects the relationship between spouses. You need to invite people to your wedding without dividing them into poor and rich, influential and not so influential. And you cannot refuse an invitation, because this is one of the reasons to strengthen friendly ties, show mutual respect and affection.

A hadith from Abu Hurayrah says: “The worst of treats is a wedding celebration to which the rich are invited and the poor are neglected. Whoever refuses an invitation (to a wedding) is disobeying Allah and His Messenger” (Bukhari, Muslim). Regarding treats, it is also important to observe the measure, remembering that the most blessed marriages are easier financially for the parties to be married. As it is said in the hadith of at-Tirmidhi: “Treating on the first day is an obligation, on the second day it is sunnah, and on the third day it is praise (the desire to show off). Whoever wants to show off (before people), Allah will disgrace him on the Day of Judgment.”

Thus, calling for publicity, inviting people to a wedding and prohibiting refusing invitations, the Prophet Muhammad (Salla-l-Lahu alayhi wa sallam), nevertheless, forbade resorting to wastefulness, showing off and large expenses. Even in a good deed, it is important to observe moderation so as not to lose blessings. Without the latter, no amount of feasting and brightness of the event will save what all this is being done for - creating a family.

Concepts that distort the essence of the institution of marriage

“Many people attach different meanings to marriage. What is said about marriage in Islam, and what should a Muslim expect from it?

— Marriage in Islam is intended to serve different purposes, and primarily spiritual tranquility and peace, interaction and cooperation in fulfilling the commandments of God. Islam, being a natural way of life, takes into account all natural human needs: physical, spiritual, intellectual, emotional and others. Satisfying physical needs in a permissible way is one of the main goals of marriage, but not the only one. As is clear from the Koran, the main purpose of marriage is considered to be the tranquility and peace achieved by a successful union: “[Another] of His signs is that He created from yourselves wives for you, so that you could find peace in them, and established love and [mutual ] goodwill between you. Indeed, in all this are clear signs for a people who reflect" (Quran, 30:21).

Elsewhere, Allah speaks of the relationship between men and women as cooperation to achieve good and fulfill His commands. “The believers, both men and women, are friends to each other: they encourage what is good and dissuade what is bad, they perform salat, pay zakat, and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah will have mercy on them: for Allah is great and wise” (Quran, 9:71).

Here is the opinion of Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi: “Islam equally strives for the education of a righteous individual, which is the cornerstone in the social structure of a nation, and for the founding of a strong family, a primary factor in building a respectable society. Marriage, which unites a man and a woman in marriage, is the indisputable foundation on which a family is built. A real family cannot exist without being sealed by marriage, for this has been legitimized by Allah Almighty.”

At all times, people have been confronted with ideas and trends that contradict the institution of marriage. In Persia (now Iran), before the advent of Islam, the philosophy of Manis arose, which argued that the world was mired in evil that needed to be overcome, and the prohibition of marriage was the fastest way to achieve this goal.

Under the banner of Christianity, another extreme appeared - monasticism. Its representatives call for solitude in monasteries and the prohibition of marriage, because, in their opinion, it is the woman who leads into temptation and embodies the devil. Staying with her is a sin that corrupts the spirit and distances a person from heaven.

Nowadays in the West there are pessimists who completely condemn a woman, calling her a snake with a soft touch and deadly poison. In addition, they argue that marriage gives her the perfect opportunity to pin a man to her fingernail and enslave him with responsibilities. So why does a man allow a bridle to be put on himself if he was born free?

Unfortunately, these perverted ideas were also adopted by some young Muslims who decided to abandon marriage with all the obligations and restrictions that it entails. They thus want to live their lives like children, freeing themselves from all responsibility.

— What are the goals of marriage in Islam in the broad sense of the word?

- According to the laws of Allah, no one can do anything on his own. Allah has ordained that everything needs a pair, so that one complements the other. In the field of electricity, positive and negative poles must come into contact to produce electric current, which in turn produces light, heat, motion, etc. Likewise, electrons and protons must come into contact within an atom. Male and female animals must also come into contact in order to reproduce. The Holy Quran describes this universal rule in two verses: “Glory to him who created pairs from what the earth grows and from people, and from what they do not know” (Quran, 36:36).

Allah Almighty has established a great tradition of uniting men and women in a way that suits the exalted status of people, namely, the institution of marriage.

Allah Almighty instilled in a man’s heart a desire for a woman, and in a woman’s heart a desire for a man. And this desire is much stronger than hunger or thirst. Each of them feels a strong emptiness in their hearts, which can only be filled by a union according to divine laws, namely through marriage. Only then does confusion give way to stability, and anxiety to confidence. Each of them finds in each other peace, love and mercy, which illuminate their lives and enrich their souls. This is one of the clear signs of Allah in our Universe, which the Holy Quran points to: “[Another] of His signs is that He created from among yourselves wives for you, so that you could find peace in them, and established love and [mutual] goodwill between you. Indeed, in all this are clear signs for a people who reflect" (Quran, 30:21).

The natural result of marriage is also reproduction, in order to prolong the existence of people through pious offspring. This is one of the bounties of Allah bestowed upon man.

It is through reproduction that peoples increase in number and strength and overcome their enemies. Allah conveys the words that Prophet Shuaib (peace be upon him) said to his people: “Remember when you were few. But He has increased your numbers” (Quran, 7:86).

And the Prophet Muhammad (Salla-l-Lahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “Get married (and multiply), and I will be proud of your number before other nations (on the Day of Judgment), and do not go into Christian monasticism” (Al-Bayhaki).

Reproduction serves to preserve the human race throughout the world until the end of the world. Allah Almighty says: “O people! Fear your Lord, who created you from one living being and from him created his mate, and from both of them [produced and] spread [throughout the world] many men and women. Fear Allah, in whose name you claim [your rights] against each other, and [fear] to sever family ties [among each other]. Verily, Allah is [always] watching over you” (Quran, 4:1) and “O people! Verily, We created you male and female, made you nations and tribes, so that you may know each other, for the most respected by Allah among you is the most pious. Verily, Allah is the Knower, the Competent” (Quran, 49:13).

And in conclusion, I note that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “When the son of Adam dies, his deeds are cut short, except for three: continuous charity, knowledge from which they benefit, a righteous son who will pray for him.”

Faith and marriage

— A very common question that young people ask: is faith strengthened through marriage?

- Certainly. Marriage completes one's faith, limits one's views of outside women, helps one maintain chastity, and offers a permissible way to satisfy one's sexual desires. Therefore, it excludes adultery. Therefore, the Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said about marriage: “It limits the view of what cannot be looked at, and the fall into adultery.” He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also said: “If Allah sends a Muslim a pious wife, this will help him preserve half of his religion (faith). So let him fear Allah in the second half.” (At-Tabarani and Al-Hakim, Al-Munziri; according to the latter, this is an authentic hadith with a reliable chain of transmitters).

In other words, marriage is the only way to create a family, which is the unit of society. No decent society can exist unless it is based on the family. Warm feelings of love, selfless generosity, mercy, care and solidarity are instilled in a Muslim through close relationships with mother and father, as well as family relationships within the family.

Duties of spouses in Islam

— What responsibilities does a wife have to her husband?

— First of all, a Muslim woman must prefer the rights of her husband to the rights of her own and her relatives. The Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) noted that if he had commanded one of the people to worship another, he would have ordered the woman to worship her husband, for her duty to her husband is great (al-Bukhari and Muslim).

The wife is responsible for her husband's house, and therefore she is prohibited from giving anything significant from her husband's house without his consent, even to her relatives. However, regarding food, the Prophet (Salla-l-Lahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “If a wife gives alms from her husband’s food (obtained by him), while observing the measure, she will receive a reward for it, and the husband for the fact that he got it, and the custodian will receive the same reward” (al-Bukhari). At the same time, the wife is allowed to give something non-essential from the house if she knows in advance that her husband will not mind it.

It is very important to know that without the permission of the spouse, the wife has no right to leave the house. But the husband should not forbid her to go out for her needs or visit relatives if there is no danger of falling into the forbidden, or if he has no doubt about it. The husband is responsible for the family, so he needs to be attentive to everything.

If the wife is sure that her husband would allow her to go where Sharia law does not prohibit her, then she has the right to go. This has great benefits for preserving the family. But the wife cannot meet and communicate with women against the will of her husband or work outside the home without his permission.

The hadith reported by at-Tabarani says: “One man set out on a long journey and ordered his wife not to leave the house. Soon after, her father fell ill. She sent a message to the Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) asking if she could visit her sick father. He replied that she should be submissive to her husband. Her father died, and again she was told to fulfill her husband's will. She carried out the order. And then the Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) sent a messenger to her with joyful news: because the daughter was obedient to her husband, the Almighty forgave her father’s sins.”

It is also very important to protect yourself from prying eyes, hide parts of your body from everyone except your husband, and not wear clothes that do not comply with Sharia. The Prophet (Salla-l-Lahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “A woman should not take off her clothes except in her husband’s house” (Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi).

“Then what are the responsibilities of a husband to his wife?”

— The most important thing is that the husband must treat his wife as an equal and not prohibit her from doing what is permitted by Sharia. The husband should patiently bear the insult if his wife inflicts it on him, and treat her condescendingly when she is angry. After all, it may happen that a woman is overcome with anger, and under the influence of irritation she begins to distance herself from her husband. In such cases, the husband must show tolerance and meekness towards his wife, demonstrating a deep knowledge of the true essence of female nature and character.

The husband needs to please her, treat her kindly, so that her heart is filled with happiness. All this must happen within the framework of what is permitted, so that the husband’s authority does not fall in the eyes of his wife. The spouse, if possible, must provide his wife with acceptable conditions for a comfortable life. It would be good to provide her with a separate room in the house with appropriate conditions.

Duties also include maintaining a spouse. The husband is obliged to support his wife. He must provide her with sufficient food, clothing, etc. These rights of the wife must be satisfied without excess, but also without stinginess. The hadith says: “If a man spends money on his family for the sake of Allah (in addition to obligatory expenses), then it is counted as charity to him” (al-Bukhari and Muslim). Also in the hadith transmitted by Muslim, it is said that of the dinars spent in the path of Allah, on the liberation of his slave, on alms to the poor person and on his family, a person receives the greatest reward for the dinar spent on his family. At the same time, the wife has the right to complete financial independence, that is, she has the right to spend her money for the necessary purposes at her own discretion. If the wife is obstinate and disobedient, the husband can limit expenses for her.

The husband should also give his wife the necessary knowledge of religion or allow her to visit places where she can obtain it. He is obliged to try by all possible means to ensure that she complies with the norms, since Allah commanded him to do so in the Qur'an.

The husband must protect her from everything forbidden, and be ready to stand up for her where it is required by Sharia. The husband should under no circumstances humiliate his wife, either in word or deed, and should not humiliate her relatives or mock them. A true Muslim does not put his wife in an awkward position in front of people. If he wants to reproach her, make a remark about her behavior, or correct some mistake, he needs to find a suitable place and time for this.

— And if a man has several wives, how should he treat them?

- If a man takes more than one wife, he must treat them all fairly and not favor one over the other when distributing his attention or concern for their needs. The hadith says: “If one who has two wives pays attention to one more than the other, on the Day of Judgment he will rise lopsided” (Abu Dawud).

Allah Almighty said: “If you are afraid that you will not be equally fair to them, then be content with one or the concubines that you have taken possession of. This is closer to avoiding injustice (or poverty)” (an-Nisa 4:3).

However, the husband must take into account the provisions of his wife when spending. If one of the wives is in abundance and the other is not, then he can spend and buy clothes beyond what is necessary for the one who is in deficiency, if the other is in abundance.

Imam ibn Qudama, may Allah have mercy on him, said: “The husband is not obliged to maintain equality in spending and clothing between his wives if he has fulfilled his duty in this regard! Imam Ahmad, may Allah have mercy on him, said about a man who has two wives that he may prefer one of them in spending or intimate relations if the other is in abundance. And he can also buy clothes for one in excess of what is necessary, if the other is in abundance. This is for the reason that if the manifestation of equality were obligatory in all respects, then it would be impossible to fulfill” (see al-Mughni 7/232).

— It often happens that a husband does not love his wife for one reason or another. What to do in this case?

- If he does not love his wife, then first of all he should not oppress her, subject her to torture, demonstrate his disgust towards her, or instill a feeling of insecurity and uncertainty. He must be patient.

The hadith of the Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) says: “Let no believing man hate a believing wife, for if you do not like any of her behavior, then be content with her other [good] qualities.” "(Muslim). Islam says to treat a woman well. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him!) addressed the men and said: “Being merciful to a woman is the lot of the generous in soul. Those who treat women with disrespect and insult them are bad.” Another hadith says: “Always treat women well. Indeed, truly, a woman is created from a rib, and its upper part has the greatest curvature. If you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it alone, it will remain crooked, so always treat women well!” (al-Bukhari and Muslim).

This example contains an excellent explanation of the essence of a woman and the peculiarities of her nature. Thus, she will not be able to consistently adhere to straightforwardness, as her husband wishes, and he must know that this is her innate quality, he should not try to correct her in small things in accordance with what seems to him correct and perfect. The husband should be lenient towards his wife's missteps and prefer not to notice the little things, taking into account the innate properties of the fair sex. As a result of this, peace, tranquility and happiness will reign in the home of the spouses, and there will be no disputes or quarrels. As we see, this above and other hadiths of the noble Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) begin and end with the words: “Always treat your wives well.”

The attention that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) paid to women was so great that he emphasized the need to treat them well, even during the sermon with which he addressed the people on the “farewell pilgrimage.” In this sermon, he told the Muslims only the most important things, since he felt that his meeting with them was his last.

— Is it correct to say that women’s rights are violated in Islam?

— In Islam, naturally, there are differences in the rights and responsibilities of men and women, but in no case are the rights of Muslim women infringed upon. Allegations about the infringement of women's rights in Islam are incorrect. Here Islam proceeds from the fact that men and women have different abilities and capabilities. For example, no one will consider it a violation of the rights of children if we do not give them the same rights as adults. Or let's give another example. Parents do not allow their small child to lift or drag anything heavy, as this may harm his health. Parents protect their children from everything harmful for their own benefit. After all, no one denies that the fair sex has many characteristics and differences from men.

Consequently, the requirements for them are also different, in proportion to their abilities and capabilities, and they are established for their own good. Look at the world around us. Science claims that the entire Universe is harmonious. And no matter how hard we try, we are not able to offer a more optimal and better option for anything. The same applies to family. In Sharia, everything is optimal, because it was established by the Creator of all things. The Creator knows better why what He created was created. It follows that such importance to the family, as in Islamic society, is not given anywhere else. After all, if you declare complete equality of spouses (that is, present the same requirements to them), then this will be unfair, first of all, in relation to the woman.

If spouses know their rights and responsibilities and take advantage of them, then Allah will give them a wonderful life, and together they will find happiness both in this world and in the next. The Koran says: “To the sincere believers who do good deeds, be they men or women, We bestow a gracious, wonderful life. We will certainly reward them with a wonderful, greater reward than what they deserved for their deeds!”

— And the last question, Ahmed. How is the celebration going for “secular Muslims”? Are we following the Sunnah of our Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam)?

— All nations have their own traditions and customs, and everyone has different ways of organizing celebrations. The main thing is that during the celebration nothing is allowed that is forbidden in religion.

However, unfortunately, many modern Muslim weddings go beyond what is permitted. One of the most basic violations of Islamic law when celebrating weddings is the mixing of genders. Men and women should never have fun together at a wedding. Today, we often turn a blind eye to this, considering this custom a relic of the past and mistakenly believing that there is nothing sinful in joint holidays.

Another bad innovation at weddings is ostentatious wastefulness, which, unfortunately, is inherent in many nations and is fundamentally contrary to the spirit of our religion.

We have forgotten about the Sunnah of the Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), turning weddings into competitions in which we demonstrate our position through celebration.

It is narrated from Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) that the Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “The most excellent nikah in terms of barakah is the easiest in expenses” (Bayhaqi).

Who will give more money, whose cars are more impressive, whose clothes are more expensive. “More and more expensive” in people’s minds serves as an unconditional sign of quality, but this in no way corresponds to the foundations of our religion. Barakat is about moderation and modesty.

Also, many are proud of the number of authoritative people at their weddings, but it is important to know that not only rich friends and relatives are invited to the ceremonial feast, but also the poor.

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “Bad food is the food served at a wedding feast to which the rich are invited and the poor are refused.”

But the most terrible and dangerous thing is that people, immersed in an atmosphere of forbidden fun and base passions, dancing the lezginka to loud hooting, drinking strong drinks, completely forget about the timely performance of prayer.

Islam is a system that fully corresponds to human nature and protects this nature. Therefore, a very wide framework of what is permitted has been established, thanks to which a person does not need to resort to sin.

It is a misconception to believe that conducting Walimah within the framework of Shariah is a boring event. During a wedding, people should be able to have fun without overstepping their boundaries. You can invite people to perform religious nasheeds for the holiday. You can also provide space for speeches on the importance of this day. It is allowed to diversify the wedding with all kinds of games and competitions, reading poetry.

The young head of the family must be directly involved in organizing his own wedding celebration, and not shift it onto the shoulders of his parents, who may be influenced by relatives and fear of people's gossip if they refuse a modern wedding with music and alcohol.

A man should know that there can be no compromise in matters of haram and halal and that a wedding is already the beginning of his personal life. It is in his interests to control every stage of the ceremony, without becoming an indifferent witness to how an important event takes the form of a Satanic Sabbath, where ungodly acquaintances and relatives who are not afraid of Allah’s punishment dance until they drop after alcoholic libations.

Failure to comply with the instructions prescribed to us deprives the family of the mercy of Allah Almighty, his pleasure and barakat, with which family life could begin. The more the wedding corresponds to the teachings of Islam, the more blessed it will be, the more harmony and love there will be between the spouses, and the fewer problems they will expect in the future. After all, if a wedding is based on haram, then what kind of happiness do we expect from it?!

PS Allah Almighty has shown us the path to developing family relationships in complete perfection, and only diligent and strict adherence to the precepts of Islam will lead us to a happy marriage, to the mercy of Allah and His boundless generosity. Therefore, it is especially important to start this journey in the right direction.