The phrase “civil marriage” has been especially popular in recent years. But when using it, everyone means their own specific meaning: some say the cohabitation of a guy and a girl, some mean an officially registered relationship in the registry office, and some say this about a secular marriage. And unsurprisingly, all these statements are true, because this concept is ambiguous. But still, if we look at it in detail and from a legal point of view, there will be differences. We'll look at which ones below.
What is it?
Legally
In Russian legislative acts, a civil (secular) marriage is considered to be a registered marriage between a man and a woman in the registry office .
The Family Code, as the main legal document of the Russian Federation, regulates the procedures for concluding and dissolving a union, family legal relations, the rights and obligations of both husband and wife, and them as parents, as well as much more. All this, in turn, relates to the Civil Code of the Russian Federation and that is why such a marriage is considered civil.
Not legally
But in the modern world, young people began to call “civil marriage” relationships that are completely unregistered, so to speak, unofficial . Simply put, this is a couple who lives together under one roof, runs a common household, makes joint purchases, but without any marks in their passports.
Sometimes such relationships are also called de facto or cohabitation.
If we delve deeper into the concept of cohabitation , it is still when people live under the same roof, but do not have common interests or goals, but live because of the housing issue.
As it was before
There is also a type of marriage called “Church” - when lovers are married in a temple or cathedral before God. But as everyone knows from the Russian Constitution, the Church exists separately from the state, therefore such a union has, in general, no legal force in our country.
But until 1917, couples were registered exclusively by priests, and after that such bonds were practically impossible to dissolve. If the guy and the girl did not get married, but lived together, their union was called “Civil”.
That is why the older generation often calls unmarried couples that way.
Nowadays, everything is completely different, on the contrary, it is not at all necessary to get married now, such a decision depends only on the desires of the lovers. If it is, then first you will need to register with the registry office, and only then will a church ceremony become possible. Although there are exceptions, and many priests agree to marry lovers if they sincerely desire it. After all, for a clergyman there is only one real family ties - church ties.
Based on the above, the following conclusions can be drawn:
- civil or secular - this is an official marriage union registered in the registry office, and only it is protected from a legal point of view in Russia;
- civil marriage in the modern interpretation, or, as it is also called, is considered to be the actual relationship of partners living in the same territory, but not officially registered;
- ecclesiastical is a bond consecrated within the walls of the Orthodox Church.
Marriage or not marriage - that is the question
There are a number of concepts similar in content - “unregistered marriage”, “informal marriage”, “de facto marital relations”, “cohabitation”, which define the relationship between cohabiting partners that are not formalized in the established manner as marriage.
In Russia, the term “actual marital relations” was introduced into use by the KZoBSO RSFSR in 1926.
By the decree of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR of July 8, 1944, de facto marriage relations were deprived of legal force.
Persons who were members of them were given the opportunity to register a marriage, indicating the duration of their actual life together.
If such registration turned out to be impossible, since one of the de facto spouses died or went missing at the front during the Great Patriotic War, then the other de facto spouse was given the right to apply to the court to recognize him (her) as the spouse of the deceased or missing person. based on previous legislation.
How are registered relationships different from unregistered ones?
Let's consider this issue from the point of view of our legislation.
- Property division . If lovers decide to separate and they are not registered, the property is not divided and is not considered jointly acquired. Roughly speaking, after a breakup, everyone is left with what belongs to them according to the documents. For example, while still living together, if a car was purchased, it will remain with the person in whose name it is registered. But in the official version, all property acquired during marriage is divided exactly in half between them.
- Debts . In a secular marriage, loans are divided equally upon divorce; any loan or mortgage will also fall on the shoulders of both. In “Cohabitation” - how the lovers themselves decided, or to whom the so-called debt was registered. The law does not provide for forcing the second “spouse” to pay after a breakup if he does not want to. Even if the money was spent on the needs of two.
- Inheritance. You shouldn’t count on an inheritance in an informal relationship if your beloved dies, unless a will has been left. But in a marriage union, the legal spouse will receive inherited capital in any case.
How to manage a joint budget
At the beginning of your life together, you will have to establish rules to create comfortable conditions for both partners. One of them will concern budgeting. There are three options for the development of events:
- Separate budget. The optimal solution for those who need guarantees of rational use of funds. Minimizes conflicts on financial grounds, since partners do not depend on each other. General expenses for food, utilities, etc. are divided equally.
- Total budget. All the money is put in one place, everyone can take from the “piggy bank” as much as they need. This method helps to plan your budget and large purchases in advance, but has a significant drawback - the partner is not always ready to calmly accept the fact that someone will spend more money than him.
- Mixed scheme. Combines both previous options. Each partner puts a certain amount into the “family fund” for household and other needs, and can spend the rest of the salary at his own discretion.
Regardless of the option chosen, lawyers recommend not to rush into large joint purchases or enter into joint ownership agreements.
Cohabitation is a good alternative to official marriage only for the first time. In the future, 85% of Russian citizens still prefer to legalize their relationship.
Pros and cons of actual marriage
Everything has its pros and cons, let's look at them.
Positive sides
- There are no obligations to each other.
- A good chance to test your soulmate in everyday life and make the right choice regarding this person and creating a family with him in the future.
- Psychologically, it will be easier to break up. After all, you won’t have to divide anything, file for divorce, go to court, and so on.
- There is no need to spend money on a wedding: organizing a banquet, expensive fashionable outfits, rings, but you can spend this money on yourself, for example, on a car that you have long dreamed of or on a trip to the sea.
- The most suitable option for people who are no longer young and for those who have already been married several times. They will definitely not look at you askance in this case.
The survey we presented shows how Russians answered the question: why do they choose to live in an unofficial marriage and not sign.
Opportunity to check feelings 48% Possibility to avoid divorce if misunderstanding 19% Possibility to avoid responsibility to each other 18% Lack of financial resources 10% Lack of condemnation from the public 5%
Negative sides
- As a rule, the decision not to put a stamp in the passport is almost always the choice of one of the lovers. The second one only has to adapt to the partner. Which may not have a very good effect on his interests, self-confidence, and, consequently, on his relationship with his chosen one.
- Although the rights of children born in such marriages are regulated on a general basis, the man will first need official recognition of his child. This must be done when registering the child or a little later. After all, otherwise, a woman faces the role of a single mother. Having been offended, she has the right to prevent him from seeing his son. But proving paternity will not be easy. By law, until the age of eighteen, a mother can prohibit a DNA test.
- Officially unregistered relationships may not please your family and old-school relatives.
- For the law, such partners are not husband and wife, and therefore there can often be misunderstandings on the part of any government body or institution.
- When cohabiting, there is no possibility of concluding a marriage contract or agreement.
Children in a civil marriage: rights and responsibilities of parents
Entries in the birth certificate of a child born into the family are made on the basis of the entries in the marriage certificate of his parents. In the “father” column, the mother’s husband is indicated by default. In the case of cohabitation, everything happens a little differently.
In order for a man to be identified as the father of a child, he and the mother must submit an application to the registration authorities. Otherwise, the maximum that a woman can do is to give the newborn a middle name after the name of her common-law spouse. But this does not mean that the latter will become a father at the legislative level.
Less often, but still there are situations when a man can apply to establish paternity on his own behalf, without the presence of a woman. In practice, this happens in cases where the mother died, was deprived of parental rights, etc.
If a man is listed on the birth certificate and has filed an application to establish paternity, both partners acquire the same rights and responsibilities towards the child. They are no different from those that parents who are officially married have.
How does a man see his partner?
With this type of relationship in a couple, he most often considers himself a free person. He will call himself married only when, after long and careful consideration, a wedding ring appears on his finger. Until then, he understands that there is a comfortable, unpretentious woman nearby with whom he is comfortable. And he washes his underwear, and runs to the store for beer, and suffers a new affair on the side. “I don’t owe her anything.”
You need to understand: if a man is sure that he is ready to live with a woman all his life, he asks her to marry. If such an offer has not yet been received, it means that he is still in search of the one and only one. Men most often perceive cohabitation down to earth, as a natural symbiosis: “we like each other, I am washed, fed, there are no “family scenes”, I can spend my free time with friends or go out of town in the company of friends and new girls, I then I don’t owe her anything.”
Photo: Depositphotos
During psychotherapeutic sessions, men talk quite openly about the fact that cohabitation is a convenient form of relationships with women, because... the level of responsibility towards them is extremely low, while all household amenities and sexual services are available. They usually call these women like this: “I live here with one,” “I have a girlfriend,” etc. The word wife, naturally, does not sound.
Normal development of the situation
I can’t find an answer to the question: why, if everyone is happy with everything, can’t the relationship be legalized?
After all, relationships, any kind, are a very delicate matter, which not only needs to be painstakingly worked on and protected, but it also needs to be developed, warmed up, and not given the opportunity to stagnate in one place. The candy-bouquet period grows from outbursts of passion and incredible surprises into even warmth, trust and love, then people begin to live together, then get married, then they have children, they become one whole, inseparable parts of each other. Like in a spiral. One always leads to another. Each stage is important, but you cannot delay the next one.
Even in the visa application form, we indicate whether you are married or single. Single, that is, free. At any crowded event, be it the opening of an exhibition or a business seminar, people pay attention to the ring finger, the absence of a ring on which gives room for thought. Being married, a man will never say that he is single (well, only in exceptional cases, you know in which ones), but being a participant in a civil marriage, he can answer whatever comes into his head. However... just like an UNMARRIED young lady.
Is it normal to move in together under one roof?
I must admit right away that I have never moved under the same roof with my gentlemen. Yes, with one young man we went on vacation abroad several times, with another we lived at his home when our parents went on vacation or to the country. These were different people at different periods of my life. A note for dreamers, if anything. But now we are not talking about this, but about full-fledged, so to speak, cohabitation. When you wake up together and go to bed together. You prepare food, wash the floors, and the two of you return from parties to the apartment where you also live, respectively, together. And it doesn’t last for a month or even two.
Even if you think about the very word “married” - BEHIND A HUSBAND, as BEHIND a wall or BEHIND protection. That is, they didn’t just move in together and leave, but they entered the legal stage of receiving support of any kind. And the return of this support, accordingly.
The first is not bad, this is our reality. If you want, even inevitable. The inadmissibility of intimate relationships before marriage is nothing more than a relic of the past or the observance of strict traditions alien to modern European society. European in this case – with a plus sign, that is, it has nothing to do with sexual promiscuity and permissiveness.
Living together and exploring each other from all sides before marriage is normal. Look at a person in everyday life, show him yourself in everyday life. It is important. Some people may be irritated by hair in the bathroom, while others squeeze out toothpaste not from the end, but from the middle. Some people don’t have breakfast, while others can’t leave home without coffee and a hot sandwich. This is all in order. We change some things to suit ourselves, and in others we change ourselves. We get used to being independent and stop expecting mom to cook borscht and feed it to the whole family, including our future son-in-law.
Another question: what does such cohabitation give to its participants? Especially women? Doesn't it boil down to a banal life without obligations? Alas, very often this is the case.
How do other women perceive their partner?
As a rule, no one wants to be the mistress of a married man. Such relationships have little chance of success. Especially if there are children in the family, and the wife is legally literate, independent, and dangerous (this happens too!) for the simpletons hovering at her husband’s feet.
Photo: Depositphotos
However, if you like a man who simply cohabits with a woman, then nothing stops those who want to “get their hands on him.” In such a situation, the homewrecker lady does not consider her cohabitant to be a serious obstacle to achieving her goal. After all, next to him is just a woman, “one of ...”, who provides this man with everything he needs without obligation. Why stand on ceremony here?
In the eyes of lawyers
If we talk about the law, then the legal consequences are associated only with the marriage that was officially concluded in the registry office.
In other words, this is simply a marriage with state registration, i.e. other types of marriage simply cannot exist.
From a legal point of view, “Actual marriage” is incorrect. A marriage cannot be officially unregistered, and you can call a person a spouse only if you have been married.
Property acquired jointly is divided in the process of cohabitation according to the laws of our country, and not according to the Family Code of the Russian Federation.
Thus, everything acquired by a family in a civil (officially registered) marriage is divided equally between the spouses. And in case of cohabitation without marriage registration, the property will be divided in court.
Rights of cohabitants when dividing property
“Civil marriage” is not protected by law. Such partners have no property rights and obligations. In the event of a breakdown in relations, the division of property is regulated by the norms of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation.
Joint property
Unlike a marriage registered in the registry office, property acquired by a couple during the period of cohabitation without registration is not community property and is not subject to equal division.
In the event of the breakdown of such a relationship, each partner has an undeniable right to individual ownership of the property acquired by him personally. If any property was acquired jointly, it is not divided in half, but in proportion to the contribution of each party. Moreover, to divide such property, each member of the union must prove the fact of a joint purchase and the amount of their investment.
Division of common shared property of cohabitants
Current Russian legislation does not imply that any property acquired jointly automatically acquires the status of shared ownership.
Cohabitants must independently register shares in this or that property and register it in the manner prescribed by law. As a rule, the size of the share of each property owner is determined in proportion to the contribution to its acquisition, proven by checks, receipts or receipts, and on the basis of an agreement in writing. The subsequent division of such property occurs in accordance with the provisions of Art. 252 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation.
Article 252 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation “Division of property in shared ownership and allocation of a share from it”
Division of unregistered property
If the property acquired during the couple’s cohabitation was not registered as shared ownership, then the cohabitants can divide it by concluding a peace agreement.
If it was not possible to reach a compromise, then you can try to defend your share in the joint property in court. To achieve a positive result in court, you will need to prove the following facts:
- Joint residence and housekeeping;
- Availability of a joint budget;
- Acquisition of divisible property using common funds (bank statements, payment documents, etc.).
The result of such proceedings depends on whether the partner can prove the fact of his contribution to the purchase. As judicial practice shows, former cohabitants often fail to divide the property acquired during the relationship.
Read also: How to get a divorce certificate?
Benefits of cohabitation
Despite the huge number of privileges that the state provides to registered families, many couples still believe that going to the registry office is an unnecessary procedure. Why:
- Most marriages break up in the first few years of life because it turns out that people were in a hurry to start a family. They didn’t get to know each other enough and couldn’t put up with their suddenly revealed character traits. Previously, no attention was paid to this: those who entered into an alliance before God were doomed to “grind in” and find compromises. Today this is not considered mandatory, because it is as easy to dissolve a marriage as it is to enter into one. Many people think that they will always have time to legitimize the relationship later, when they are sure of each other;
- a stamp in a passport is considered a restriction of freedom, and not everyone is ready to put up with this, at least psychologically. Cohabitation is convenient, mutually beneficial, but at the same time everyone, albeit nominally, retains the right to personal life;
- A very common view is that a stamp in a passport does not change anything, which means it is not needed. If in Soviet times much attention was paid to the thought “what will people say?”, today it is customary not to take other people’s opinions into account;
- life in official freedom has a number of privileges. For example, a single mother has the right to some benefits that will be given to her regardless of the fact that in fact she does not live alone and runs a common household with a man whom she considers her husband.
