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When a girl gets married, she finds another family - the family of her husband, that is, she acquires new relatives.
In relation to her husband, she becomes a wife, and for his parents, she becomes a daughter-in-law.
Who is a daughter-in-law, how did this word come about? And why is a daughter-in-law often called a daughter-in-law? Read below.
Old meanings of words
Ancient dictionaries define the term daughter-in-law as the wife of a son. Due to the presence of a clear hierarchy of kinship in Slavic families, linguists trust this version most of all. Moreover, the concept applied both to blood relatives and to children who came into the family through marriage. That is why if the groom's father called the bride his daughter-in-law, then the mother called her daughter-in-law.
However, if we recall ancient legends and proverbs, as well as traditions, then most often they mention the terms daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law. At the same time, the male line is practically not involved. It follows from this that the father-in-law has minimal relation to the daughter-in-law. Consequently, such a combination of connections could not be firmly established in the everyday vocabulary.
The second version from historians and linguists is inclined to believe that the girl became a daughter-in-law after the birth of her first child in a new family. This version is considered more plausible due to the fact that after the birth of the child, the daughter-in-law already acquired some experience and could become a full-fledged part of the family. And the birth of a child was directly associated with blood ties. Consequently, it was after this event that the girl became a full-fledged daughter-in-law.
It is worth noting that despite the greater rights of a daughter-in-law than a daughter-in-law, her role in the groom’s family was in last place. But if the husband had a brother, then the girl could compete with him for the right to leadership.
Replies to (otvet.mail.ru)
Among the answers to this question there are correct and incorrect. Many people believe that a woman is called a daughter-in-law by her husband’s parents/relatives. Moreover, parents can use both names alternately. Whatever they want, they will call it.
Many citizens are convinced that “son” is what his father calls his son’s wife. This version is the most common.
Confusion of concepts arises due to inconsistency in the actions of explanatory dictionaries: it is impossible to find a single line of interpretation. However, the mention of these terms during conversation does not cause misunderstanding among people.
Modern meaning of the word
As mentioned earlier, in the modern lexicon the word daughter-in-law has almost completely lost its original meaning and influence. Most modern people are more familiar with the term “Daughter-in-law,” and it is used even after legitimate grandchildren appear in the family. At the same time, the man’s mother’s status and marital status are updated to the role of grandmother. But the daughter-in-law must also climb the hierarchical ladder after such an important event. Accordingly, the term daughter-in-law was invented for such cases. In later historical times, the daughter-in-law had more rights than before and such a title was considered honorable. Thanks to its clarity, such a tradition almost completely satisfies the requirements of the Slavic peoples.
Scientists explain the question of why the term daughters-in-law and daughter-in-law has become less used in the modern lexicon by the fact that the modern generation pays less attention to the importance of family ties. But in some remote places, adherents of ancient traditions still use this term. It is believed that it is the villages, least touched by civilizational society, that are the true guardians of Russian traditions.
Due to the growing interest of the modern generation in the historical past, scientists have only recently begun to seriously study this issue. But most of the traditions of the Russian people go back to the era of pre-Christian culture. Scientists agree that it was the Slavic people who had one of the clearest hierarchy structures in families. The East Slavic family of peoples has such a precise hierarchy that everyone is taken into account, even the most distant relatives after several generations.
Ancient traditions
Our ancestors had many interesting traditions related to the role of the daughter-in-law in the family and reflecting some of the features of family relationships. Some of them may seem strange or even humiliating to a young woman today. For example, in the villages of Transcaucasia, the daughter-in-law had to get up in the morning before all other family members and carefully sweep the yard. In this way, she could prove her hard work and diligence.
Another ancient tradition, previously widespread among some peoples, is interesting and indicative. Thus, the daughter-in-law did not have the right to speak with any of the relatives until the father-in-law presented her with a gift. But if she subsequently received from him another exactly the same gift, it meant that she was too talkative.
Relations between relatives were reflected not only in customs, but also in numerous proverbs and sayings. It is interesting that the daughter-in-law, unlike the daughter-in-law, is given a positive description. First of all, her homeliness and ability to procreate are emphasized. For example, this is expressed in the words “A daughter-in-law is more generous than a generous one.” If peace and harmony reigned in the family, then they said: “Two fur coats are warm, two housewives are good.” These words emphasized that a daughter-in-law is, first of all, a family member, a dear and close person.
What is a daughter-in-law like?
Sometimes you can come across the following opinion from researchers that a daughter-in-law is a spouse for the groom’s father. And a daughter-in-law is in relation to the mother of a son. If you dig deeper, it turns out that the concepts of “daughter-in-law” and “bride” are similar, but the powers of these statuses differ. In modern terms, daughter-in-law means:
- unknown;
- not to lead;
- foreign;
- from someone else's family.
That is, the concept denoted a girl whom the family might not fully trust, and when communicating with her one had to keep one’s ears open.
What does the status of a daughter-in-law mean and who is she?
This term has several versions of origin and pronunciation. For example, according to the old version, the word is pronounced “son”. In the Bulgarian language there is a similar meaning of the word son, that is, in this situation, the daughter-in-law was literally almost equal in rights to the son. According to linguists, this is the name given to the girl who gave birth to the groom’s first child. It was after the birth of the first child or twins that a woman could be called a daughter-in-law with full rights.
There is a version that the verb word “to bear” did not mean to give birth, but was used in the sense of patience. The fact is that in ancient times, after joining a new family, a girl had to adapt to new conditions, as well as endure many inconveniences and nagging from the groom’s relatives. If she can pass all the tests with dignity, she will receive a new status.
The difference between the concepts of daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law
After a detailed consideration of the most popular versions of the origin of these words, certain conclusions can be drawn, namely:
- daughter-in-law is the wife on the son’s side;
- the concept of daughter-in-law meant a girl unfamiliar to a man’s family whom he wants to introduce into his family;
- A girl can be called a daughter-in-law by both the father and the mother on the son’s side.
The daughter-in-law has a common meaning for all family members on the male side. The difference is that if only the husband’s mother or father refers to the new bride as daughter-in-law, then both parents and other family members can call daughter-in-law, regardless of the degree and distance of the relationship. The word is so universal that even the wives of their husband’s brothers can call a new girl in the family a daughter-in-law.
Blood ties
The child became a blood link between the visiting woman, the son and his parents. Therefore, the difference between a daughter-in-law and a daughter-in-law is obvious: she was “who knows who,” but became a close relative. Now the young woman, as the successor of the family, family traditions and surname, had much more rights. They say that in Rus' they often listened to the opinions of the wives of older sons in choosing life partners for younger ones. The daughter-in-law had almost the same authority as the father and mother.
What modern dictionaries say
Dictionaries do not provide a specific and uniform version of the origin of these words. Different editions give quite contradictory interpretations on this matter. Linguists say the following about the origin of these terms.
Often in families with an old way of life they would talk about their son’s new girlfriend when he brought her into the house, saying that he had brought who knows who. There is also a theory that the bride was called this word before the birth of her first child. The logic is that if before the birth of the child the girl was unknown to her husband’s family, then after the first child a thread of consanguinity appears. It was the birth of a child that indicated that the girl was officially moving to a new status. After such a feat, younger family members were obligated to listen to her opinion on a number of issues.
Family relationships
Kinship (kinship) is a connection between people based on the descent of one person from another (direct relationship), or different persons from a common ancestor, as well as on marital family relations.
There are two main types of kinship:
- blood (biological), determined by natural genetic proximity;
- social , which is a system of kinship relations sanctioned by society, in particular, kinship through marriage.
People related by family relations are called relatives (formerly relatives).
What Wikipedia says
A popular dictionary on the Internet claims that this word was previously used to describe a son’s wife in relation to the man’s father. Moreover, only the husband’s father has the right to call a girl this term. Any member of a man’s family, regardless of the degree of relationship, can also call a girl a daughter-in-law before the birth of a child. In this case, the brother’s wife will be the brother’s wife. Yatrovka is a lesser known synonym for intercourse. And a cousin’s wife was called a bro. Nowadays women are not generally called bro.
As a result, we can say that a daughter-in-law or daughter-in-law is a designation of the status of one woman. Only she is called differently, relative to a man. Each relative usually decides for himself what term to call a new family member. Such traditions have been preserved in the modern version. “Daughter-in-law” is rightfully considered a more familiar and widespread term. The new woman in the house is now sometimes called daughter-in-law by the husband's parents.
Final tips
In conclusion of the article, I would like to give two pieces of advice regarding the names of relatives after marriage:
- When preparing for the celebration and compiling the list of invitees, as well as the seating arrangement of guests at the wedding, write in parentheses who this person will be. Each time you edit the list and look at these names, you will easily remember them.
- The question often arises of how to call relatives: by name or by their relative “status”? It all depends on people's preferences! If earlier it was customary to use the names of relatives in speech, now more and more often they are addressed by their first name and patronymic. The exception is godfathers and matchmakers, who often jokingly like to address each other this way.
The MyWed.by portal has listed the names of relatives so that you know who, by whom and to whom after the official marriage. Your new extended family members will be pleased to know that you have learned their official “titles” and are treating them with respect!
