If lovers consciously come to the idea of consecrating their union in a temple, they are necessarily faced with the question of what needs to be done before the wedding in order to adequately prepare for the sacred sacrament. Indeed, unlike mundane registration, which is focused on the visible side of the celebration, here it is not enough to send out invitations to guests and take care of the banquet. The spiritual union of a man and a woman in the face of God requires careful preparation with a clear understanding of what, in fact, everything was started for...
Semantic load
In any church sacrament there are two sides - external and internal. As a rule, our attention is attracted by the external, and the internal is the last thing we think about. But it is precisely the meaning of all church sacraments that you need to know first of all.
Where to start and how to fully prepare for the wedding so as not to lose sight of anything? First of all, you need to agree on the ceremony in advance. To do this, choose a temple and drive up to the priest. Large cathedrals have special departments for registering and ordering requirements. You can go directly to the priest, or you can contact the employees, and they will tell you everything. If young people want to hear singers, and even a whole choir, then this must be agreed upon in advance. This point needs to be clarified right away: do the young people need to contact the choir director separately or will the priest organize everything himself. Perhaps all this needs to be ordered from the registration department.
When they ask a priest how to prepare for a wedding, he will first of all advise starting with confession. Yes, yes - precisely from confession. Often young people first come to the priest and talk with him. It's very good actually. After all, it’s not difficult to get married; it’s difficult to move on with your life. Therefore, the priest’s task is to understand how young people take a conscious step, how responsibly they approach marriage, and understand their roles in this important union. First of all, this is a church sacrament, which means everything is done before God.
How to take communion correctly
The sacrament of Communion comes after a minimum of 3 days of fasting, during which they fast and read special prayers. On the eve of communion, the newlyweds confess. Typically, clergy appoint communion on the wedding day. The communion procedure takes place on an empty stomach, therefore, starting from 12 at night, you cannot eat or drink.
In the morning, the newlyweds come to the service. Communion begins after reading the Lord's Prayer. You need to wait until the Royal Doors close, then, together with all the parishioners who want to receive communion, approach the altar.
After the priest brings out the Holy Gifts, reads two prayers, cross himself and go to the Chalice. To avoid accidentally touching the Chalice, keep your hands crossed on your chest, placing your right hand on top of your left. Approaching the Chalice, the communicant pronounces his name given at Baptism, opens his mouth wide, giving the priest the opportunity to put the Body and Blood of Christ into it. It is advisable to swallow them immediately. Then they kiss the edge of the Chalice and go to the table to take the prosphora and “warmth”.
They remain in the church until the end of the Divine Liturgy. Communion ends with the reading of prayers of thanksgiving in church or at home.
Work for the Glory of God
The main purpose of man is to unite his soul with the Heavenly Father, overcome sin within himself and live according to the commandments. Young people do not start a family for fun. This is work, constant sacrifice for the sake of another. If God blesses, then there will be children, and this is even more work and self-sacrifice. Do all newlyweds understand this well? Therefore, to the question: “How to prepare for a wedding?”, the priest will say: “First of all, internally... Bare your soul before God and test it: am I ready to live for the sake of another, am I ready to go with my other half to the end and beyond life? to appear together before the Heavenly Father and to what extent this desire is not dictated by emotions, which, when they subside, will no longer brighten up the difficulties and will have to accept everything as it is...”
Is it possible to get married a second or third time?
The Church allows such a wedding only with the deep blessing of the ruling bishop of the area where the couple is going to get married.
The blessing can be obtained if you provide convincing arguments to the ruling bishop.
Is it possible to get married before the wedding, that is, before registering the marriage at the registry office?
In modern practice, the wedding takes place after the state registration of the marriage. If a person cannot take legal responsibility for another person - in the face of the state, in the face of society, then what kind of spiritual responsibility can we talk about?
Why do you need to go to the priest?
In the conversation, the priest talks about the understanding of marriage in the church sense, about the rites and the blessing of the union of the young. If a young couple has serious intentions towards each other, they will listen to the priest and try to take his advice on how to prepare for the wedding correctly and according to church law, and not just for the sake of a beautiful ceremony. Then, during the wedding, the newlyweds will understand the meaning of what is happening.
Often the priest recommends reading certain chapters from the Holy Scriptures, something from the Patristic writings, or will tell himself about the important aspects of this sacrament. All this was said for those who are interested in how to prepare for a wedding in the Orthodox Church, although Catholics also have a lot in common in conducting the wedding ceremony.
The wedding day is discussed with the priest, but it cannot be a time of fasting and in the days before fasting. In general, according to tradition, in the Orthodox Church marital intimacy does not occur during fasting days. Of course, everything must be done consciously and only by mutual agreement. If one of the spouses is against it, then it is possible to give in to the second, so as not to lead him into sin on the side. If the couple is churchgoer, then they understand everything. If a husband and wife do not know or understand anything about church traditions, then it is better for them to either inquire or talk to a priest. Since not everyone is ready to live completely according to the rules of the church, everything needs to be realized and accepted wisely.
How to prepare for a wedding?
The “Questions to the Rector” section very often includes questions about how to choose wedding rings, candles and icons, whether it is necessary to confess before the wedding, in what cases it is possible (if at all) to get married before registering with the registry office. It is not surprising that Orthodox Christians try to carefully prepare for the Sacrament in order to understand and prayerfully feel every word. All the external details accompanying this service are also symbolic... Archpriest answers questions related to this eternal theme. Maxim Kozlov, rector of our church.
— How to choose the right wedding date?
- It is most prudent to marry not on a specific day, but when two people have decided on the firm intention to walk their whole lives hand in hand, have had a sufficient period of preliminary communication in order to get to know each other better, in order to understand that their intention is firm and finally, they took care of the civil registration of the marriage, did not forget about the desirability of receiving a parental blessing for the marriage and, having prayed, prayed, confessed, and received the Holy Mysteries of Christ, they are approaching the Sacrament of Wedding.
You can find out on what days the wedding takes place in any church calendar, as well as on the Internet (they do not marry during all four multi-day fasts; during Cheese Week (Maslenitsa); on Bright (Easter) Week; during the Christmastide period; on the eve twelve and great holidays; on the eve of fast days - Wednesday and Friday, as well as on Saturdays throughout the year; on the eve and on the day of the feast of the Beheading of John the Baptist; on the eve and on the day of the feast of the Exaltation of the Lord's Cross; on the eve of the patronal feasts of the church in which they are planning perform the Sacrament). The Orthodox Church does not regulate the days of civil registration in any way: you can sign during Lent, if you understand this only as a preparatory stage for the creation of a legal church marriage. The Church also does not distinguish between happy and unlucky days for marriage, and restrictions on the celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage are related to the Lenten regulations. The dependence of the wedding date on birthdays is also a superstitious idea that Orthodox Christians should not adhere to.
— Is it possible to get married without registering a marriage at the registry office? After all, the Bible says nothing about registry offices.
— Of course, the registry office cannot be mentioned in the Holy Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments for obvious reasons. This institution arose in the Soviet Union many centuries after the formation of the books of the Old and New Testaments. Nevertheless, another very important principle follows from the Holy Scriptures: a believer in God strives to be obedient to those commandments and rules that are established in the Church established by God. And this principle has been invariably preserved in the Orthodox Church for approximately two thousand years among those who strive to be its faithful children. If today the hierarchy determines that, as a preliminary act before the Wedding, one should undergo civil registration of marriage on the territory of the Russian Federation, then this should be done without considering oneself smarter than the Patriarch, the Synod, the bishops and bishops by whom this rule was established in the Church.
— Can there be exceptions to the rule on pre-registration of marriage?
— In the Orthodox Church, weddings without registration are allowed as an absolute exception, in extreme cases: before a life-threatening operation, when being sent to the North Pole, etc. In all other cases, spouses must register their marriage in the registry office and only after that proceed to the Sacrament of Marriage. Here is what we read about this issue in the “Fundamentals of the Social Concept of the Russian Orthodox Church”, section X - “Issues of personal, family and public morality”: “According to Roman law, which formed the basis of the civil codes of most states, marriage is an agreement between two free people in their choice by the parties. The Church accepted this definition of marriage, interpreting it based on the evidence of Holy Scripture... Thus, Athenagoras in his “Apology to Emperor Marcus Aurelius” (2nd century) writes: “Each of us considers as his wife the woman to whom he is married according to the laws.” The Apostolic Constitutions, a 4th-century monument, exhort Christians to marry in accordance with the law.
The Church does not consider a secular marriage, state-registered, as something meaningless at all, but considers it some necessary preliminary to the Wedding. One indication that people are taking a responsible approach to getting married is that they have already completed all the necessary formalities associated with the civil registration of their union.
— Still, the Church is separated from the state, and it is not clear why the church requires a marriage registration certificate.
— The church is undoubtedly separated from the state. The meaning here is rather pedagogical: now people approach the sacraments of the church with varying degrees of responsibility and seriousness towards them. We all know this from the example of the sacrament of Baptism, when out of millions of people baptized in the last 15-20 years, only a relatively small percentage became those people about whom we can say that they are church-going, consciously believing Orthodox Christians. The same thing, to a certain extent, is observed today in relation to the sacrament of Marriage. Often people who want to get married are guided not by the desire to build a family as a small Church, but by considerations of aesthetic, traditionalist or some other kind. And in this sense, the presence of civil registration of marriage before the Sacrament of Wedding is at least some evidence of the seriousness of their intentions in building family life. And a church person, who is aware of the priority significance of the Wedding over civil registration, cannot find it difficult to go through the latter so that what is done before God would have a legal character before people and society.
— How to treat a marriage contract?
- As a contract, understandable for people who are not believers and are not sure that their current cohabitation (I use this word in terms of Roman law) is final and that their current life partner can be trusted in everything. And indeed, if you have a lot, a lot of money and you assume that, perhaps, the material benefits that the person marrying you acquires through you attract him more than you do, then why not insure yourself?! But it is clear that this kind of relationship cannot take place in the structure of an Orthodox family. If we proceed from the fact that monogamy is the only norm for a Christian and that a wedding unites a husband and wife forever, then what kind of reservations in their property status can we talk about?
— Is it necessary to confess and receive communion before the wedding?
“We cannot say that this is absolutely necessary, but there cannot be a better preparation for the Wedding than prayer and repentance. By approaching the Chalice together, young people can already begin to understand what it means to build a Small Church.
— Often, weddings for non-believing young people become only part of the wedding ceremony.
“Even in such a situation, getting married is still better than not getting married, because the grace of God makes people wise.” But of course, the seeds are sown, and the person himself must nurture them. It is important that the newlyweds realize that in the Sacrament of Wedding, vows are pronounced that cannot be broken.
— What is the role of witnesses at a wedding?
- From the point of view of the meaning of the Sacrament of Wedding and its ritual side, the so-called witnesses - more accurately called “friends of the groom” - do not play any sacramental, that is, significant from the point of view of content, role in the ceremony. They are not at all like recipients of the sacrament of Baptism. By the way, it should be pointed out that the now widespread practice that the man holds the crown over the groom, and the girl over the bride, is a direct borrowing from the practice of the registry office. Before the revolution, crowns were always held by men, which is understandable, because it is also physically difficult - holding a crown at arm’s length for quite a long time is not the easiest. The question is often asked whether a spiritual relationship is created between the witnesses, which could become an obstacle to their subsequent marriage. However, it is clear: if in tradition both witnesses are men, then there cannot be a ban on their subsequent marriage. Thus, nothing prevents a boy and a girl or a man and a woman, who were witnesses at the Wedding, from starting a family in the future.
It is prudent to invite only Orthodox Christians as witnesses, and consider everything else from a practical point of view: the height and physical endurance of the “groom’s friends.”
— How to choose the temple in which the wedding will take place?
— Question about a specific place
It is usually not worth holding a wedding for people who are regular parishioners of a particular temple. Of course, the Sacrament is performed in “one’s” temple; if for any reason the confessor serves in another church, then the wedding can take place there. Those who do not belong to one or another parish must decide where the wedding will take place. After the choice is made, some organizational issues need to be resolved.
Many temples have pre-registration, and the problem with it must be resolved in advance. Any relative can do this; the presence of the bride and groom is not necessary. If there is a desire for a specific priest to perform the wedding, it is necessary to discuss this issue with him, otherwise the Sacrament will be performed by the priest whose “turn” falls on that day.
— What is needed to perform a wedding?
— To perform a wedding, you need rings, the so-called wedding pair of icons - with the image of the Savior and the Mother of God, wedding candles and a towel. Of course, those bride and groom who, before the Wedding, will come to confession and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ some time before the Wedding, will act prudently and correctly.
— What should wedding rings be like?
— Traditional for the Orthodox Church is the use of wedding rings without stones and jewelry. In principle, the color of the rings, that is, the metal from which the rings are made, has absolutely nothing to do with the essence of the Sacrament of Wedding. However, if the newlyweds definitely want to use rings with stones or with prayer, which is now becoming fashionable among those entering into marriage, they should consult the parish where they plan to perform the Sacrament of Wedding about the possibility of using the specific rings chosen.
— Is it important which particular icon of the Mother of God will be used as a wedding icon?
— Any canonical image of the Mother of God can be used. Most often these are Vladimir, Kazan, Feodorovsk, Don icons. Previously, these icons were taken from parents' homes, they were passed on as home shrines from parents to children. Icons are brought by the parents, and if they do not participate in the Sacrament of Wedding, by the bride and groom.
— According to tradition, after the wedding everyone gathers at the festive table. How to make sure that, on the one hand, you don’t have to, as often happens, blush for unbridled fun, and on the other hand, so that it doesn’t turn into boring get-togethers?
- To do this, you need to prepare for the festive meal. And not so much the young people themselves, who naturally focus on other things, but their loved ones and friends who love them. Relatives should take care that the amount of alcohol per capita at the wedding feast does not exceed the measure that the Holy Scripture speaks of when “wine makes glad the soul of a man.” It amuses, and does not introduce into a state of stupor or meaningless euphoria, or, moreover, moves it to a horizontal position.
Perhaps you even need to take care of some wedding day scenario, in which wishes from relatives and friends should be combined with non-sinful entertainment. This could also be a mutual test of the bride and groom on their knowledge of each other, which, of course, for the most part will turn into ignorance and thus a lesson for themselves. These can be good songs that sound so natural at a wedding. These could be some general games. The main thing is not to create the atmosphere that usually happens at popular music concerts, the atmosphere of a triumphant collective unconscious, when those who were just normal individuals merge into a single, who knows what, creating, multifaceted, multilingual, but stupid mass. Avoiding this at the wedding feast is extremely important.
In the good traditions of a number of past centuries, it was accepted that the bride and groom are present only at the first part of the wedding meal, and then leave it. In the 16th-17th centuries it was very beautiful and solemn. In subsequent centuries, this has already emerged from both the ritual and everyday areas of life. Although, as a rule, the bride and groom did not have to sit at the table until the last guests left.
In my opinion, today it becomes a good practice, of course, if there is such an opportunity, for the newlyweds to go directly from the wedding ball to the ship, or to the plane, or to the train, leaving the usual everyday concerns, triumphant loved ones and relatives, and being alone for a while. If you don’t have the means to go somewhere far away, then you can go stay with friends at the dacha or with someone in an empty apartment, as long as no one disturbs the newlyweds for a while.
An important sacrament
Enough literature has been written about how to prepare for a wedding in the Orthodox Church, which you can easily purchase at church or borrow from the church library.
Previously, the wedding rite itself included the communion of future spouses. This suggests that the wedding took place during the Divine Liturgy. Marriage is a great Sacrament, thanks to which husband and wife become, as it were, one body; they are united together in Jesus Christ for salvation and entry into eternal life. Today, communion is no longer included in the sacrament of marriage, but the meaning itself has not lost its meaning. All the same young people become one in Christ. Therefore, before the wedding, future spouses need to go to the Divine Liturgy and receive communion. Before communion, of course, a person fasts and confesses.
Not only newlyweds go to get married, often married couples who have been married for a long time resort to this sacrament. It is worth saying that preparing for a wedding for married people is no different from preparing for those who are just planning to follow this path. Is it possible that in conversations with a priest the conversation may go in a slightly different direction, because these people are already husband and wife before God, although they live without blessing. Such couples may be more conscious and responsible about the sacrament.
The importance of confession and communion
The sacrament of Communion was commanded by Jesus Christ. People who eat bread and wine, symbolizing the Body and Blood of Christ, are united with the Lord himself. Therefore, any Orthodox Christian cannot imagine a normal spiritual life without communion (Eucharist).
Thanks to Communion, the soul is cleansed of filth, returning to its original purity, and strength appears to resist temptations. But before communion you must make a confession. Confession is a sacrament of repentance, during which a person recognizes himself as a sinner.
Saint Theophan the Recluse said that repentance consists of several stages:
- awareness of sins;
- recognition of the presence of sinful thoughts, committed offenses;
- refusal to commit unjust actions;
- turning to the Creator with a prayer for forgiveness.
Sincere repentance enables a person to comprehend the mystery of salvation. Through the sacrament of confession, a person approaches the knowledge of the Lord and the Kingdom of Heaven.
What else is needed
Let's turn to the external side, which is also important for people going to a wedding. The rules of preparation speak, first of all, about the internal, but they do not lose sight of the external either. That is why the ritual is so beautiful and touching.
Of course, you need rings for a wedding. They are bought in advance and given to the priest before the start. It happens that rings are sold right in the temple.
Today everyone buys gold rings. It is interesting that according to church tradition, the husband wears a silver ring and the wife a gold ring. And even earlier manuscripts generally speak of an iron ring for the husband.
There are crowns above the heads of the bride and groom. They are held above the heads of the young people by friends of the bride and groom. The crowns symbolize the royal path of Orthodoxy and at the same time the martyrdom of the spouses. It’s not like crossing a field, or even swimming across a river. The article said above that the husband and wife, in a certain sense, sacrifice their interests for the sake of the other half, and together they live for the sake of children, if God blesses the marriage with them.
Family
You should not neglect the opportunity to find out how to prepare for a wedding ceremony in the Church correctly and why you need to come to a conversation with a priest.
It happens that children are not born for some reason. This does not mean that God has turned away from spouses. We cannot understand and accept everything, but regardless of us, everything has its own meaning. You shouldn’t despair, and you definitely shouldn’t leave each other if you have mutual feelings. There are enough couples in the world who were not destined to have children, but they were able to give their love and care to other children left without a family. It is even possible that they did not raise other children, but did something important and significant in this life. Even if they simply loved and helped each other live and not be discouraged, that’s also good. In general, there is always meaning in living and giving love.
What needs to be done before the Sacrament
Stick to fasting
Before the wedding, lovers need to cleanse themselves spiritually and tune in to the sacred ceremony. Therefore, it is necessary to fast for three days - do not consume dairy, meat and fish products, as well as eggs and alcohol. If possible, do not smoke.
Ask a priest for advice if, for medical reasons, you cannot live without any of the foods listed. Perhaps he will allow some relaxation.
In addition, before the wedding, at least three days, you should give up carnal pleasures, fun entertainment, parties and various festive events. The best solution would be to devote your free time to doing things together, for example, reading prayers.
Confess
On the eve of the sacred ritual, confession is certainly necessary for both spouses. It is necessary to tell the priest about all your sins without hesitation. Do not hide anything; on the contrary, having told everything bad, God will forgive you ugly actions, words and even thoughts.
There is no need to be afraid that someone will find out about your actions, because in the church this is completely excluded. Be honest with the priest and do not think that you will be judged. In this case, he acts as an intermediary between you and the Almighty. Father will also help you cleanse your soul and enter your wedding completely renewed and sinless.
Take communion
You will go through this stage on the day of the Sacrament, or rather, before it, during the morning liturgy. The process of communion is simple - the clergyman will give you a spoonful of red wine and a piece of church bread.
You will not be able to receive Holy Communion if you have not confessed.
Before communion, from midnight, you do not need to eat, drink or smoke. Some people who have a weak body and may faint can eat a small snack. But the food should not be meat, fatty or high in calories. It is better to give preference to yogurt or kefir.
Icons
Wondering how to prepare for the sacrament of wedding, young people begin to understand a lot. And, if the meaning of everything that happens during the performance of this church ceremony touches the heart to the very depths, without causing resistance, then, most likely, the young people are on the right path.
What remains with the spouses after the ceremony are the wedding icons. Parents can give them as a gift, or you can purchase images in the temple. Often mothers themselves embroider icons as a sign of blessing their children. As a rule, this is the image of the Savior and the Mother of God. Before the wedding, they are also given to the priest along with the rings. The newlyweds will also have wedding candles. They can be purchased immediately before the ceremony or purchased in advance to decorate them at your discretion.
What not to do after?
After the ceremony, you can celebrate such an important event, but you should not throw a merry feast with overly frank or loud entertainment. Karaoke, discos, and plenty of alcohol should be left for another occasion.
It is best to celebrate a bright day together with your loved one or in a small company of your closest and dearest, outdoors, in a cozy restaurant or at home.
It’s good if the chosen event is held in the Orthodox tradition. Humor and competitions are acceptable, but they should never be vulgar.
Canvas under your feet
We also need fabric for the wedding. Our parents and grandparents know well how to properly prepare for this ritual. In the past, wedding fabric was embroidered by mothers for their children. Young people are attracted to it. The color of the canvas is white. Today, few people embroider it themselves; they mostly buy it. By the way, the tradition of laying a towel under the feet of the bride and groom was preserved in atheistic times. They laid it in the registry office, and they still do it to this day. The canvas can be bought in a special store, at the market or directly in a church shop.
Even after learning everything about how to prepare for a wedding in the Orthodox Church, there is still excitement that is completely difficult to cope with.
Attributes
In addition to the spiritual side of the issue, there is also a material one. The sacrament requires certain things that you must take with you. You can buy them in one special set or select each item separately.
You will need:
- images of the Savior and the Mother of God;
- wedding rings;
- towel;
- candles and handkerchiefs.
Icons
You will have to kiss the image in front of the altar, swearing an oath of eternal fidelity to each other. The bride holds the icon of the Mother of God and personifies the Church, the groom holds the icon of the Savior and personifies Christ.
It is best if you inherit the images from your parents. This way the symbol will be the brightest, most blessed, the most correct. But if the Orthodox tradition begins only with your family, it is not forbidden to buy new wedding icons.
Rings
Canonically, wedding rings are made from different metals. The groom brings gold, a symbol of the sun and masculinity, the bride brings silver, a sign of the moon and femininity.
During the sacrament, the newlyweds exchange rings three times, and as a result, the bride wears her husband’s gold ring, as his promise to always protect her, and the groom wears his wife’s silver ring, symbolizing her oath of eternal devotion and selfless love.
Wedding rings are a sign that, like the pectoral cross, cannot be removed throughout life. That is why you should not choose frilly, bright jewelry with large stones. You can decorate rings with engravings - most often with prayers, names of spouses, wishes, vows.
It is not forbidden to choose identical rings made of gold, silver or platinum, but other metals are prohibited. Instead of rings, wedding rings are also possible.
Important! A priest may consider luxurious multi-colored rings to be jewelry and refuse to place them on the altar for consecration.
Candles and towel
A towel is a pink or white towel. It should be large enough for both spouses to be able to stand on it. Often the edges of the towel are decorated with symbolic embroidery.
It is best to buy wedding candles in a church shop. If you are going to purchase them elsewhere, make sure that they are wax and specifically wedding ones. The bottom of the candle should be wrapped with a special scarf so that the wax does not drip onto the skin.
What to do with the attributes after?
According to tradition, all wedding symbols must be carefully preserved. You cannot throw them away or re-gift them.
The icons remain in the new family’s home, protecting the hearth. Wedding candles are lit during difficult childbirth or illness of children. The remaining attributes remain family heirlooms.
It’s worth mentioning separately about the wedding dress. It cannot be given, sold, or cut. But you can wear it again, for example, on a wedding anniversary.
Important!
There is another important point that was not mentioned above. This seems to go without saying. Those wishing to receive the sacrament of wedding in the Orthodox Church must be baptized in Orthodoxy. And it is also advisable to be believers, which plays an important role in the salvation of a person’s soul. And the family is a small church. Where the husband is likened to Christ, and the wife is like the church. Children are their children. All together they sail to God in their ark. Only now this understanding has been lost among people. A husband must carefully protect his wife, take care of her as his faithful friend and the mother of his children. Do everything so that they don’t go hungry, don’t need, can learn and improve, enjoy life and thank God for it. And the wife is the keeper. A faithful companion and creator of the hearth. Is this true in the modern world?
How to take photos and videos of a wedding?
Taking photos and videos of the wedding is, of course, not necessary, but this newest tradition, in my opinion, is very positive. It’s good if the impressions of this important and bright event - the wedding - remain in the memory of not only the spouses, but also their children and grandchildren. This will also be a kind of sermon - a sermon on Christian marriage, an event where Christ becomes the rightful owner of the lives of two people who love each other.
It is advisable that the wedding be filmed by a churchgoer who will have a good idea of the sequence of actions of the priest, who will not have to say: “But now there will be an important moment, be sure to film it.” Therefore, when you negotiate with a photographer or cameraman, do not forget to ask if he has had to film this Sacrament before.
One more thing - before the Sacrament, you need to take a blessing for photography from the priest who will marry you.
About the rings
So, now the newlyweds know how to prepare for a wedding in church, that the spiritual component is important first of all, and then the external one.
The bride and groom put rings on each other - a sign of an eternal and indissoluble union. The gold ring on the wife’s finger symbolizes the brilliance of the Sun, and the silver one symbolizes the light of the Moon, reflecting the daylight. The husband is likened to the Light in the marriage, and the wife is like a smaller source who receives his light.
Rings are an outward expression of the inner readiness of two hearts to love each other before and after death. After all, according to the Christian worldview, life does not stop. We are eternal. And death is only a temporary state. Therefore, second marriage is not accepted among Christians. Even if someone became a widower. After all, what to do next before God? So, they say I have two, three wives or husbands? In Christianity, marriage is swan fidelity. And who doesn’t understand this, think about it: is it worth getting married?
Signs
Such an important sacrament as a wedding has acquired signs and superstitions over the centuries:
- Under no circumstances should the groom see the bride in a dress before the wedding. Buying an outfit together is also prohibited;
- Letting someone, even those closest to you, try on a wedding dress means allowing you to try on your own happiness;
- For bottomless marital love, take an oath of fidelity before the wedding, speaking into the well;
- It’s a bad sign if one of the wedding candles goes out early - this means that the person holding it will leave the world before their spouse;
- During the ceremony, newlyweds should not look into each other's eyes, then family life will be cloudless;
- A good omen is snow falling the night before the wedding. It symbolizes a new, clean, bright life;
- Smooth wedding rings promise a smooth family life , but stones, engraving, roughness are a variety of problems;
- Tucking, or even more so breaking, a heel during the ceremony will make your entire family life lame, so it is better to choose the most comfortable shoes;
- Part of the bride’s outfit, for example, a scarf, should be taken from a loved one - then friends will always come to the aid of the family.
Important! How to treat signs, everyone decides for themselves. The Orthodox Church views such superstitions with skepticism, but folk wisdom often contains a rational grain.
Depth of feelings
This is what it is like – a wedding in a church. Preparation for it carries not so much an external meaning, expressed in the efforts of arranging the ritual environment, but an internal, spiritual one. Love and infatuation are far from the same thing. Love is deep, not superficial and capable of strong actions. Love thunders loudly, ignites quickly, is hot to the point of burning, but cools down as soon as it encounters a small obstacle to its combustion.
Much more can be said on this topic, but hardly anyone will say better about love than the Apostle Paul said... Read these words, find them, they are impressive and convicting at the same time. The beginning is: “Love is patient and kind, love does not envy, love does not boast, it is not proud...”
conclusions
Let's summarize: the main preparation for the sacrament of uniting two loving hearts in God is fasting. The Holy Orthodox Church says that newlyweds are recommended to prepare themselves for the wedding through the feat of fasting, repentance, prayer and communion.
The day and time are discussed in the temple with the priest. For the ritual side of the sacrament you must have:
- Icons of Christ the Savior and the Virgin Mary;
- wedding rings (at the choice of the future spouses, without any symbolic expression, but also taking into account traditions);
- wedding candles;
- canvas.
Which date to choose
When choosing a date and month, the easiest way is to study the wedding calendar, which will mark all possible days for the Sacrament.
Dates may vary depending on the year.
It is strictly prohibited to:
- during Easter and Maslenitsa week;
- during Lent;
- holidays of church and patronal days;
- during winter Christmastide;
- on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays;
- at night.
Guarantors
What should wedding witnesses know? In the old days, when there was still pre-revolutionary Russia, a marriage concluded in the Church was legal before the State. Therefore, the witnesses, with their signatures in special books, confirmed (testified) that these people became husband and wife not only before God, but also before people and the state. They usually knew the newlyweds well and vouched for them.
The friend and friend, as they were popularly called, took part in the sacrament, and while the bride and groom walked around the lectern, they held crowns over their heads. They must also be baptized in Orthodoxy. These are a kind of guarantors before God. Like godparents to a baby, although it is difficult to vouch for adults. After all, they have their own head and their own thoughts. But you can pray for each other. Ask the Lord for blessings and help. And this is the work of God. This is what Christ commanded: praying for one another is one of the manifestations of love.
Nothing has changed in the ceremony itself. They also still hold their crowns, and at this moment they are probably thinking about their future.
