This Sacrament in the Orthodox Church is one of the most important events in the life of every couple in love. You need to prepare for such a serious step in advance and in a special way. From our material you will learn about all stages of preparation, that is, what Christians need for a wedding: is it necessary to fast, confess and receive communion, what icons are required and much more.
Who will be refused?
Before you start planning the ceremony itself, make sure that you will not be denied it. So, below are the reasons why a clergyman may not marry you:
- The engagement will not take place if you are blood relatives to each other, for example, a brother and sister, or spiritual godfathers.
- Father will not give the go-ahead to adherents of another religion, sect, as well as atheists and the unbaptized.
- If the age has not reached 18 years or has crossed the line of 60 years for a woman and 70 years for a man.
The rule regarding the older generation is often violated. Especially if the family has lived in an official marriage for a long time, the church will bless them in any case. - According to Christian customs, you can be married no more than three times.
- Those who already have three divorces behind them will also be denied the Sacrament.
- If you are married to one person and want to enter into a sacred union with another.
- The priest may refuse a couple whose age difference is too large.
- People who have taken a vow of celibacy and clergy will never have a wedding.
- In most cases, a church ritual will not take place if the lovers have not officially registered their relationship with the state - in the registry office.
Choosing a place
At one of the first stages, a temple is selected where the ceremony will take place. It does not have to be large and respectable; many, on the contrary, prefer a quiet, peaceful church somewhere in the countryside.
Advice. The chosen place should evoke only good feelings and emotions; if you don’t like something, then it’s better to continue your search.
There will also be a meeting and acquaintance with the priest who will conduct the cherished ritual. You will have an interview with him, during which he must make sure how important marriage is for the couple and she understands all its seriousness, and does not chase the ceremony as a beautiful and fashionable trend.
Father, in turn, should also instill in you the disposition and feeling of trusting him. He is obliged to tell in detail important details, without reproaching you if you do not know some rules and canons of the Orthodox Church. You can also consult with him about controversial issues, for example, your appearance, rings, a photo shoot in the temple, the best date, and so on.
If you often go to confession with a certain clergyman, you have known him for a long time and trust him, then it would be a great idea to have your wedding with him.
Wedding accessories
Young ladies really like to choose the entire image for themselves. Therefore, they think in advance about what accessories they might have for the sacrament of wedding. On the one hand, these things will help emphasize the image and add zest. On the other hand, hide flaws that are unacceptable in clothes for going to church.
- gloves - if the young lady has short sleeves, then it is best to hide her bare arms. To do this, purchase long gloves just above the elbow. In addition, they will elegantly highlight the curves of a thin arm, making the bride look like a young lady of the 19th century.
- capes, boleros are a comfortable and irreplaceable thing if your shoulders, back or open neckline are exposed. Throwing on a bolero, you will get a double dress, which on the one hand is suitable for church, and on the other will look bright and interesting at a banquet dinner.
- It is preferable to choose jewelry that is as modest and unobtrusive as possible. Pearl beads are perfect.
Which date to choose
When choosing a date and month, the easiest way is to study the wedding calendar, which will mark all possible days for the Sacrament.
Dates may vary depending on the year.
It is strictly prohibited to:
- during Easter and Maslenitsa week;
- during Lent;
- holidays of church and patronal days;
- during winter Christmastide;
- on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays;
- at night.
What needs to be done before the Sacrament
Stick to fasting
Before the wedding, lovers need to cleanse themselves spiritually and tune in to the sacred ceremony. Therefore, it is necessary to fast for three days - do not consume dairy, meat and fish products, as well as eggs and alcohol. If possible, do not smoke.
Ask a priest for advice if, for medical reasons, you cannot live without any of the foods listed. Perhaps he will allow some relaxation.
In addition, before the wedding, at least three days, you should give up carnal pleasures, fun entertainment, parties and various festive events. The best solution would be to devote your free time to doing things together, for example, reading prayers.
Confess
On the eve of the sacred ritual, confession is certainly necessary for both spouses. It is necessary to tell the priest about all your sins without hesitation. Do not hide anything; on the contrary, having told everything bad, God will forgive you ugly actions, words and even thoughts.
There is no need to be afraid that someone will find out about your actions, because in the church this is completely excluded. Be honest with the priest and do not think that you will be judged. In this case, he acts as an intermediary between you and the Almighty. Father will also help you cleanse your soul and enter your wedding completely renewed and sinless.
Take communion
You will go through this stage on the day of the Sacrament, or rather, before it, during the morning liturgy. The process of communion is simple - the clergyman will give you a spoonful of red wine and a piece of church bread.
You will not be able to receive Holy Communion if you have not confessed.
Before communion, from midnight, you do not need to eat, drink or smoke. Some people who have a weak body and may faint can eat a small snack. But the food should not be meat, fatty or high in calories. It is better to give preference to yogurt or kefir.
Where did the tradition of fasting come from?
Fasting, as a religious phenomenon, is associated with a repetition of the 40-day fast of Jesus Christ , when he retired to the desert. Fasting is also associated with the custom of fasting during days of tribulation, sharing the suffering of the Savior, or as repentance for one’s sins.
Another meaning of fasting is ascetic, for humility and taming desires . The exploits of ascetic saints who lead a solitary lifestyle, of course, are difficult to repeat in worldly life, and it is unlikely to be possible without harm to health, but you can take an example and, to the best of your ability, try to limit yourself in blessings, pacifying your spirit and body.
Lenten menu before the wedding
It was also customary to fast on the eve of major holidays in order to better prepare for them.
List of things needed for the ceremony
- Rings.
- Big candles.
- Bottle of church wine - Cahors.
- Two white towels or towels.
- Four small white scarves (two for those getting married under the candles and two for witnesses under the crowns).
- Icons of the Mother of God and Christ the Savior.
- Stamped passports and marriage certificate.
- A divorce document, if, of course, you were previously married.
All those present in the cathedral must wear crosses.
Rings
According to ancient tradition, the wedding rings of those getting married should be made of different metals. The man brought an item of gold to the temple, which meant a symbol of God, the sun and the head of the family. And the girl is a silver ring. It symbolized the moon and the church.
According to custom, the newlyweds will exchange rings three times during the ceremony. As a result, the husband's decoration remains on the wife's and vice versa. Masculine speaks of protection, help and responsibility, and feminine speaks of selfless loyalty, obedience and devotion.
But in the modern world, almost no one remembers these rules. Most often, lovers choose products made from the same material - gold or silver. Sometimes they are even paired, completely identical in appearance and differing only in size.
It is worth knowing that jewelry is not suitable for the Sacrament, because a strict priest may refuse to illuminate such rings and place them on the altar. This means that the ceremony may not take place at all.
Wedding rings already worn earlier are quite suitable for the role of wedding rings. They can be with small decoration, engraved in the form of each other's names, wedding dates or even prayers. But it’s better to avoid elaborate and bright models with large stones; leave such accessories for another occasion.
It is not recommended to remove your illuminated accessories, so choose them carefully.
Wine and candles
It is appropriate to buy candles in a church shop. There you will definitely find suitable and good quality ones. Plus it's convenient. If you chose decorative ones, then they need to be illuminated in the cathedral the day before.
Wine can also be purchased at a temple or chapel. When buying elsewhere, it is not always possible to find Cahors, so take any red and strong one. During the wedding, the couple will drink from the same cup.
Towels
For the ceremony you need to prepare two white towels or a towel. Both beautiful white cuts of fabric and pieces of snow-white material will do. One is laid under the feet of the spouses, and the hands of the other are bandaged. Afterwards they are kept in love for a happy married life.
Icons
They often take the parents’ ones, but if there are none, then they buy new ones. The icon of Christ is for a man, and the Virgin Mary is for a girl. The priest will bless the couple with them, and after the Sacrament they protect and protect the family. You must stand in a specially designated place.
Crowns
A necessary attribute for the ceremony is beautiful crowns, which the witnesses will hold over the heads of the spouses during the ceremony. The lovers in them are like kings who have reached the most important step in their lives - the wedding.
On the other hand, this is also a symbol of torment, because they are quite heavy. Since marriage is not only joy and happiness, but also overcoming difficulties together.
Most likely, the crowns will be given to you on the spot, so you won’t have to purchase them yourself.
Dress code
In the church there is a certain dress code that must be observed by everyone present, not just newlyweds. Men enter the temple without a headdress, women, on the contrary, have their heads covered. It is obligatory to have crosses on the neck. These are the basic conditions.
For the bride
The bride should give preference to a chaste style of dress - the shoulders, neckline, and knees must be covered. Fully exposed arms are also undesirable, so it is better to choose an outfit with sleeves or add a cape to it. As a last resort, you can wear gloves, but remember that they will have to be removed before exchanging rings.
It is not necessary to use pure white for the dress and accessories; any light, pastel shade will do. You should avoid flashy red, acidic neon tones, as well as dark shades of brown, black or purple.
The bride can cover her head with a veil - in this case it is important that the accessory is attached high enough, on the top of the head, covering almost all the hair. Or choose a chastity scarf - an excellent option, presented in a variety of models - bolero, cape, scarf. Remember that according to church canons, only an innocent girl can wear a veil , which makes the use of this accessory inappropriate for pregnant brides or brides who already have children.
Important! A wedding dress should not be too tight, overly sexy, or pretentious, because the image of a bride is primarily associated with purity and purity.
Makeup is chosen to be calm and nude. You cannot paint your lips, even with colorless gloss. The fact is that you have to kiss crowns and images, and doing this with painted lips is simply indecent.
Another important point is decorations. There shouldn’t be a lot of them, and it’s better to avoid pretentious and luxurious ones altogether. No rings or rings are allowed on your hands , with the exception of a wedding ring if you are going to wear it with your wedding partner in a duet.
Choose simple shoes, without high heels, because you will have to stand motionless for almost an hour, and the witness will have to hold the crown above your head with outstretched arms.
For the groom
As for the groom and invited men, there are fewer rules for them. It is important that the outfit is formal, but not luxurious. A traditional, formal, dark-colored suit will do just fine.
Church is not a place for experimenting with your own appearance, so you should abandon unusual styles, acidic colors, and flashy details.
We are looking for witnesses
Witnesses in the cathedral perform a special mission - these are people who vouch for you and your union before God. They also undertake to help with advice in future married life.
First of all, Orthodox and baptized people should be invited to such a role. Atheists and representatives of other religions are no help to you in this matter. Choose close friends or relatives. It’s good if they are officially married for many years.
It is not recommended to take on people who are divorced, because anyone who has not been able to preserve their happiness is unlikely to be a good mentor to others. This also applies to lovers who live together, but have not signed at the registry office. The Church does not approve of such unions.
It is possible to ask a married couple to become witnesses, but it should not be the mother and father of the newlyweds. But it is worth knowing that the spouses who agreed to help will become spiritual relatives, and therefore will never be able to get married themselves after your Sacrament.
If you find it difficult to choose witnesses, then the ceremony can be held without them at all. The main thing is to warn the priest about this in advance.
Is it possible to get married in a church?
Wedding is, first of all, a sacrament of the church, and it can only be performed on Christian believers. The ceremony is possible only by mutual desire. If for at least one of the spouses a wedding is just entertainment, or it happens under duress, then it is better to limit yourself to ordinary state registration.
After several years of living after marriage
A wedding is not just a beautiful ceremony, it is, first of all, a marriage before God. Therefore, many married couples decide to perform the sacrament after they have lived in a legal marriage for several years. And the church doesn’t care when the official marriage took place - a couple of days or 20 years ago. A wedding binds a man and a woman for life, and it is impossible to “get unwedded” as easily as to dissolve an ordinary marriage.
True, if the couple decided to get married many years after the official wedding, there will be some subtleties here.
Bride and groom in church
For example, there is a special rite for couples whose life together is ten or more years: “Blessing of spouses who have lived 25 or 50 years.” It is not necessary that exactly that much time has passed since registration, the main thing is that the husband and wife live a long time in an unmarried marriage.
The wedding can be scheduled for any significant date: be it a wedding anniversary or the day of submitting an application to the registry office.
You can get married in a church even if a child has already been born in the marriage.
Signs
- You cannot pass between those getting married during the ceremony - because of this, the family may break up;
- witnesses must wear crowns on the couple, otherwise such a union will not be considered valid;
- blow out the candles at the same time for a happy married life.
It is worth remembering that Orthodoxy does not approve of superstitions, so whether to listen to them or not is a purely personal matter.
Repeated
Wedding is one of the seven great sacraments of the Orthodox Church, a mystery that binds two destinies together. During this ceremony, the groom symbolizes Christ, and the bride symbolizes the Church. The oaths of love and fidelity given during the ceremony are sacred, and therefore divorce or debunking does not exist for the Orthodox Church.
The conditions under which the bishop will allow a second wedding are limited, requiring a personal petition and the provision of compelling evidence.
