After the marriage proposal and the bride’s positive response, active preparations for the upcoming event begin. Of course, lovers usually have no time for everyday nuances. They passionate about each other and your feelings about the upcoming change in life. But parents, wise with life experience, know that usually their children do not attach importance to household items and necessary equipment that surround them in their father’s house.
So that a young family does not need basic household items, there must be a dowry. It is collected by the bride's parents. It is not necessary to prepare a rich dowry - a minimal set is enough to help the young housewife arrange her life .
Spelling of the word "dowry"
This word refers to the property that in the old days, according to a long tradition, girls received when they got married. In modern speech, this colloquial word is used to refer to a prepared set of linen for a newborn baby:
- bride's dowry;
- dowry for the baby.
Girls from an early age prepared a dowry for themselves (S. Yu. Rashchupkina. White surface. Russian traditions).
They were preparing (what?) the dowry.
Bride's dowry
The word in question has substance and denotes an object. Based on these features, we classify it as a noun, although in its grammatical form it resembles an adjective, from which it was formed by a method of transition from one part of speech to another, which is called the Latin word “substantivization.”
The noun “dowry” with the stressed vowel “a” in the root is correctly spelled with one letter “n”.
Examples of sentences from literature
He married a rich woman, taking land as a dowry - is he now going to trial? (A.P. Chekhov. Unnecessary victory).
As soon as he arrived, he immediately got along with his mother and took three thousand in dowry before the crown (N.S. Leskov. Midnight Offices).
She enjoyed organizing the children's dowry, although it caused her physical discomfort (Helen Rappaport. The Diaries of the Romanov Princesses).
This noun is correctly pronounced with the stressed vowel of the root:
dowry - prefix/root/suffix/ending
In pronunciation it differs from the verbal word form - the participle “dowry”, which has a stressed vowel in the prefix:
dowry - prefix/root/suffix/ending
We distinguish between these homoforms, belonging to different parts of speech, in a specific context.
What was included in the dowry?
The bride's relatives carry a chest with a dowry to the groom's house during a wedding celebration in the village of Kubachi.
A variety of things were considered dowry. For poorer families, these were household items: for example, bed linen, tablecloths, lace, handmade fabrics, dishes. The bride had to have everything that she could later need in the household, at least for the first time. Things were kept in a large wooden chest, which after the wedding the girl brought to her husband's house.
Wealthy parents added houses, land, jewelry, furs, and bank accounts to this. In peasant families, women could have their own cows or sheep, and if she sold, for example, things made from the wool of her sheep, the money was also hers (and the children, of course).
“Choice of a dowry”, Vladimir Makovsky, 1898.
They started collecting a dowry from childhood: first the girl’s mother did this, and then the future bride herself. The girls sewed their own clothes and kitchen textiles, competing in the skill of needlework to make the dowry look more advantageous than others.
It was not customary to hide the dowry - on the contrary, the family told potential suitors about their daughter’s property. After the matchmaking, an inventory of the dowry was carried out, and on the wedding day, the bride’s relatives had a tradition of asking for a ransom for this property.
Full dowry wedding
You probably thought that we are talking about an apartment, a car and shares, but the bride can boast and bring a rich dowry, even without having the listed benefits.
Still, household items can also be very valuable, especially if there are a lot of them. Among the ancient Slavs, the dowry of a rich wife was not so much in lands and gold, but in fabrics, utensils and needlework, which she herself made for the wedding. And the more there was, the more attractive the bride became in the eyes of the groom’s family.
Previously, an auction was held for the dowry - a special day when the groom's relatives came to the bride. They were met in a spacious room, where all the goods prepared for the wedding were laid out in open chests.
And the parents of both parties agreed on the wedding ceremony, already based on this kind of bargaining - from whom how many valuables would go to the new family, and a kind of auction played an important role in this.
If you do not belong to the elite class of society, “bride wealth” can be collected according to the extended list above. So what's good for a bride?
An example of a “big list” of a bride’s dowry
- For yourself: the best lingerie, clothes for home and bedroom (robes, negligees), evening dresses, wedding dresses, jewelry;
- For the bedroom: bedding, towels, bedspreads, blankets, pillows, mattress;
- For the home: furniture and capes, curtains, carpets, tablecloths, vases, crystal;
- For the kitchen: festive dishes and for every day, cutlery, a set of pots and pans, kitchen utensils, glasses, glasses;
- Household appliances and electronics: washing machine, food processor, multicooker, scales, meat grinder, coffee maker, etc., computer, laptop, TV, refrigerator…
As you can see, such a list is far superior in value to the one we presented as symbolic. As a wife, you will make a huge contribution to the family hearth by bringing such belongings into the house
Please note that the equipment may not be new, unlike other items - utensils and textiles
What kind of dowry does a bride prepare nowadays?
The need for the ability to do needlework in ancient times was also explained by the fact that, if something happened, the girl and her children would not die of hunger. She can earn money by sewing. Nowadays there is no such need. What the bride's dowry should be is usually decided by the bride herself.
Today, loving relatives of girls are trying to provide their daughters with at least a symbolic dowry. This can be either a certain amount of money or things: bedding, dishes, household appliances, equipment for home and entertainment, and so on. Actually, today this is explained not by the fact that otherwise they would not marry their daughter, but by the fact that at first parents want to provide their young people with a comfortable life. In general, if they wish, the parents of the newlyweds can agree on how and who will provide for the newlyweds. Although this is not necessary.
Was it possible to get married without a dowry?
A still from “Cruel Romance,” based on “Dowry.”
Of course, they got married without a dowry - however, they could not count on a profitable match. Playwright Alexander Ostrovsky has a play “Dowry” about a girl who is forced to get along with a person she doesn’t like because the one she likes has chosen a wealthier bride. Her fiancé ends up killing her out of jealousy.
Dowry and ransom: who paid for what?
Dowry is an ancient custom in which the bride's parents collected property for her and gave it to her when she got married. In Rus', dowries were stored by both commoners and representatives of noble families. Back in the 18th century, Domostroy advised postponing year after year from the moment a girl was born. As they say, love is love, and financial security comes first. What if tomorrow the bride becomes a widow? Or will your loved one turn out to be a careless person? There are no emotions here. Everything is according to the description. Receive and sign.
"Choice of a dowry." N. Bekryashev. 1910
Dowry is not just about money, but about the economic independence of children. This is a kind of “alternate airfield” for daughters, created by caring parents.
There are many traditions associated with marriage. First of all, the bride price, or dowry in the East. The ransom is paid by the groom to the bride's parents. This could be money, cows or other material assets.
It is known that the Israeli king David had to work hard to win the hand of his future wife. His father-in-law Saul did not like him very much. Melchiola herself had already fallen in love with David, but dad... King Saul decided to give his future son-in-law an impossible task: he demanded from David one hundred Philistine circumcisions as a wedding gift. David decided to up the ante. Why not two hundred? He completed the task and Saul had to marry his daughter to him.
Marriage contract. Greece. 1905
But here is a typically French story about a dowry. This was at the beginning of the 20th century. A Frenchman named M. Le Blanc married a Parisian woman. Her father was a barber and prepared the most precious things for his daughter. The first is money. And since dad wanted the young couple to live their whole lives in purity, he gave them as much scented soap as his daughter weighed. And this is 65 kilograms. They probably had enough for a long time.
The dowry and dowry serve to confirm marital intentions and are also signs of generosity on both sides.
This practice is mentioned in the ancient Babylonian Code of Hammurabi. According to this law, the daughter does not inherit anything from her father's property, but receives such a dowry to ensure her economic security as much as possible. As much as the family can afford.
Jewish men inspect the dowry
The wife's dowry fell into the hands of the husband, as it was considered part of the family property. In case of divorce without cause, the man had to give his wife the dowry, and she would give him the ransom.
At first, the ancient Greeks only had ransom. They started the dowry tradition only in the 5th century BC. e. Moreover, the husband had some property rights to her dowry. But if the wife earned something through her own labor, then it belonged only to her. No one had the right to claim.
Among the ancient Romans, this tradition was also widespread and had its own peculiarity. A woman’s dowry could be provided not only by her father or another family member, but also by a benefactor, a philanthropist who was ready to donate his property to her. The dowry could be anything, even housing.
In the Bible, the bride price was regarded as compensation to the father for the loss of another working hand in the family. When concluding Jewish marriages, elders conducted long and tedious negotiations over the size of the dowry and ransom. We discussed how this would happen. Money, services, things, or maybe land?
"Dowry." G. Tissot
In medieval Europe, dowries were a way to consolidate the power and wealth of aristocratic families. In England, the lack of a dowry was often the reason for the dissolution of a marriage.
Russian Emperor Paul I had several daughters. Maria Feodorovna, the sovereign's wife, was in charge of collecting the dowry in the imperial family. Every year she set aside 30 thousand rubles for these purposes. In 1840, a special fund was created for the royal daughters, into which 50 thousand rubles were transferred. It included everything from jewelry to furniture. But if the royal daughter was married to a foreigner, then she would receive a camp church as a dowry. After all, the Grand Duchess had to maintain faith under any circumstances.
How can you congratulate newlyweds on their wedding?
After the completion of the Orthodox wedding ceremony, it is traditional to give gifts to the young family and congratulate them on entering a new life together. It is a great honor for the invited guests to say warm words of wishes to the newlyweds in honor of the completion of the sacrament. The solemn message addressed to the newly-made spouses should be pronounced from the heart, coming from the depths of the soul. Wishes filled with warmth, sincerity, and grace will always find a response from the young couple, leaving pleasant memories and heartfelt gratitude to the invitee.
In verse and prose
Congratulations to the newlyweds on the wedding ceremony can be either in poetic form or in prose. If you have the opportunity, then, having allocated some free time, compose your own quatrain dedicated to the birth of a new family, supplementing it with musical accompaniment. Even if it is only four lines, but you put all your joy, happiness, and delight for the newlyweds into them, the message will find a response in the hearts of the newly made spouses.
If you find it difficult to write poetry, then a sincere wish in prose is a worthy option for congratulating a young married couple on their wedding. It would be appropriate to compose a message that includes quotes from church books or parting words spoken by Orthodox saints who patronize marriage, family relationships or childbirth. Examples of warm, sincere words for newlyweds in poetry and prose:
SMS congratulations
If you do not have the opportunity to congratulate the young spouses in person, then you can send an SMS wish with the sacrament, adding a cool song to it. The text of the message can be short or long, containing sincere feelings, heartfelt wishes and spiritual instructions to the young family. SMS congratulations can be in the form of poetry or prose. The words must be written from the heart, expressing joy and happiness for the newlyweds.
Compose your holiday message with the words: angel, crown, altar, ring, fidelity, wedding, church, bless, Lord, or use the ready-made options below. When choosing a rhyme, try to put into the congratulation all your feelings of deep spiritual delight for creating a new family, blessed by God, thereby emphasizing the solemnity and significance of the Orthodox event. An example of SMS congratulations on a wedding ceremony:
- Friends! You made an oath to God, united souls for centuries. I wish you fidelity, happiness, love in sacred marriage!
- The Lord blessed the family union. May joy and love always sanctify the marital path.
- On this solemn day, in front of the altar, you consecrated and strengthened the marriage union. Keep your oath of allegiance and protect each other.
- The sacrament of wedding was completed, God himself covered the family union with grace. May the angels protect you from adversity, and may happiness never leave you.
- Your union, sanctified by divine light, will be happy. God bless and grant love for many years to come.
- Lovers! Let your wedding rings become a symbol of immeasurable happiness! The family will be a ray of counting, hope and love.
Mandatory parts of the dowry
The dowry of poorer families included household items: linen, bedding, clothing, kitchen utensils, etc. More noble families supplemented all of the above with a certain amount of money or precious materials. The bride's dowry was placed in a huge chest, which was kept until the wedding day, when the bride's parents brought or brought valuable goods to the door of the future husband's house, sat on it, and urgently demanded a ransom.
Somewhat later, the bride's dowry gradually transformed into cash, family jewelry, real and movable property. Thus, a bride with a rich dowry had the opportunity to acquire a socially significant status when marrying a husband of an impoverished but noble family. With the help of marriage, a spectacular unification of title and property took place.
In the modern world, attitudes towards marriage, towards men and women, are changing greatly, and therefore the very concept of a “bride’s dowry”, as well as the traditions of its transmission, are disappearing.
Is it necessary for the bride to prepare a trousseau?
There is one big plus in a dowry: its presence greatly simplifies the life of a young family at first. In the first days, you don’t have to grab your head and run to the store for a frying pan if you want to cook scrambled eggs for breakfast in the morning... But, of course, not all parents have the opportunity to provide their children with the entire daily routine. Sometimes at first a couple literally has nothing. And you have to earn everything with your own labor. But there is no need to worry about this - as a rule, if things are going well in the family, life is provided for during the first years of life. Yes, there may be loans, the need to earn extra money, and so on, but this can be resolved.
What is included in the bride's dowry? Love, support, patience, mutual respect. The rest will follow.
Modern dowry of a Russian bride
From time immemorial, the dowry of a Russian bride consists of items that will create coziness and comfort. These can be household items, textiles, various kitchen appliances and dishes.
A bride without a dowry is still a strange phenomenon in some families.
Therefore, before you decide to collect it or not, as well as what will be included in it, you need to find out in advance the opinion of your future husband and mother-in-law on this matter.
The bride's dowry list should be compiled wisely. You need to think through all the details. First you need to purchase what is most needed in the house. And only then you can buy other, not so necessary, but nevertheless functional and useful things.
Think first of all about your comfort. After all, everything you purchase for your household is primarily needed by you. Almost nothing has changed over the centuries; the farm is still run by the woman.
The dowry must be of good quality so that it lasts for many years. However, there shouldn’t be a lot of it. It is better to use the dowry, gradually buying more things as needed.
Putting everything in the closet because you bought a bunch of stuff and it will just sit there unneeded is not very practical.
It is better not to buy things that have already been used by someone else. Even if it’s your parents or other relatives. It is believed that things carry the energy of the person who used them.
It is better to surround yourself only with those objects that are saturated with you and your energy, especially if your family is young and not yet strong enough.
