Wedding toasts in prose: creative ideas
If you are good at remembering long wishes, you can prepare several toasts for the wedding in prose, funny, but with meaning.
Dear newlyweds! Surely, you don’t really like the word that is used to describe the formalization of marital relations – marriage. Can anything good be called marriage? So let's raise our glasses so that your marriage is not defective, so that you value and respect each other, take care of your feelings and remain faithful to each other even in the most difficult moments of your life together!
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Our dears! I would like to tell you one instructive story. Once upon a time, a king and his queen lived in a luxurious castle. They lived in perfect harmony, but one day enemies broke into their castle. They saw the beauty of the queen and felt sorry for her. “Go in peace. And you can take one thing from the castle that you consider the most valuable!” - said the enemies. The queen, without hesitation, put the king on her shoulders and took him with her as her most valuable possession, thereby saving his life. Let's drink to the fact that the most valuable thing for newlyweds will always be their other half!
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Dear newlyweds, today you planted your little tree of love. I want to raise a glass to ensure that no pests land on its branches, that not a single woodcutter tries to cut down your tree at the root, that no winds or blizzards spoil its beauty and grandeur!
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Marriage is a very serious union that two people will never enter into voluntarily. But if they have already joined, then one of them will always be right in everything. And the second is the husband! So let's drink so that in your marriage each of you has equal rights and responsibilities!
Funny jokes about weddings and newlyweds
Note to newlyweds. Over time, rose petals turn into socks and tights scattered around the apartment.
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Young wife: - Now, dear, we will eat one dish all week. I didn't notice that the recipe in the cookbook is for twelve people.
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Vanya and Manya wake up after their wedding night. Vanya: - Manya, your mother swore that you were a girl... - What, exactly, did she swear? - Just as I swore! - Oh, how awkward it turned out...
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- Why don't you dye your hair blonde? - says the husband. - What for? — They say that blondes cook very tasty food.
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The newlyweds behind the wall tossed and turned noisily all night, creaked the bed and loudly agreed with each other.
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A young husband comes home from work and wrinkles his nose with displeasure: “Did you burn something in the kitchen again?” - Yes. And now the situation is hopeless: a book about tasty and healthy food has burned down.
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I imagine a modern wedding night like this: a woman sits and frantically changes her last name in profiles.
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A young wife comes to a pastry shop and says: “Don’t you have a cake that’s burnt on one side?” I want my husband to think that I baked it.
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The newlyweds are talking: “Maybe we should go to the zoo?” Let's see a tiger, some kind of viper, crocodile, chimpanzee? - Give me the tiger. We saw the rest yesterday when we visited your relatives!
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“I read in the newspaper that in one year a person eats three kilograms of salt,” the young wife says to her husband at dinner. - May be. “Not at once,” the husband responds, sipping the over-salted soup.
Funny toasts for a wedding
The portal for newlyweds Svadebka.ws has compiled for you short and funny wedding toasts that will be easy to remember and will definitely appeal to the newlyweds.
Dear young people! You are very similar to the two halves of a Kinder Surprise - just as sweet and tender, ideal for each other. Let's drink to the fact that there will be nothing but pleasant surprises in your family!
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Let's raise our glasses to our newlyweds and wish them, even without wine and champagne, to always be slightly intoxicated with each other. Bitterly!
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Let's raise our glasses together so that the newlyweds' table is bursting with treats and the bed is bursting with passionate nights. Bitterly!
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The best families are those where the wife does not attach importance to a crooked nail, and the husband does not attach importance to over-salted borscht. May mutual understanding always reign in your family!
The funniest jokes about weddings and newlyweds
Newlyweds! Before you run to the registry office, hang the wallpaper together.
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The newlyweds agreed that under no circumstances would they lie to each other. After some time, the newly-made husband leaves on a business trip. Rides back on the train on the bottom bunk. Upstairs, an attractive girl sleeps with one leg hanging over the shelf. The husband, stroking his leg, woke up the girl. Word for word, they get off at the nearest station, rent a motel room, etc. The next morning, the husband thinks that he needs to tell his wife the whole truth - we agreed. And he sends her a telegram: “Darling.” I was traveling on a train. My leg sprained. Got off the train. Lying in bed. Hugs. Kiss. Yours Lyosha.
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The young wife says: “I wanted to make a surprise.” I bought a rabbit for lunch, but I just can’t pluck its feathers...
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Two friends are talking: “I’m so worried, I’m about to have my first wedding night.” - How worried will you be when you give birth? - This is nonsense, I’ve already given birth.
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Soon after the honeymoon, the young wife decided to cook something tasty for her husband’s arrival, according to the recipes she had been taught. Returning home, the husband found his wife in tears and from her sobs he realized that something terrible had happened. “This is terrible, dear,” she babbled. “The first meat pie in my life that I prepared for you must be eaten by a cat.” “Okay, calm down,” said the husband, affectionately patting her on the shoulder, “I’ll get another cat to replace the one that died.”
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The wedding night. A son calls his father on a cell phone. - Dad, she spread her legs. What should I do? - Shove her what you have, but she doesn’t! - Dad, what are you doing? A mobile phone won't fit in there!
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A newly married daughter calls her mother on the phone: “Mom, Leonid asked me to boil some tea for him, but there’s not a word about it in the cookbook.”
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A guy and a girl got married. On their wedding night, she says to him: “Darling, lick my pussy.” - Honey, but you're on your period. - Well, can’t you, for my sake...
Cool toasts to newlyweds in verse
Cool wedding toasts can be not only in prose, but also in verse, if the congratulator is a creative and creative person. What options for cool toasts can be used to please young people? Here are some examples.
We want to wish you wisdom and patience. Let marriage from now on be as sweet as jam.
Drive away all enemies like flies with a newspaper. Let the family shine like a bright comet!
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Say goodbye to freedom: Ringed now. Your total income is the window, the table, and the door.
But now you share both sadness and grief. And love and kisses! Let's drink to the young people!
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Congratulations on your magical day! May you be lucky in all matters! There will be a house in the Maldives and a good bank account.
Let another piece of heaven be in loving eyes. Let the bride bathe in diamonds and flowers!
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We congratulate you on your wedding and wish you from the bottom of our hearts. Don't swear, don't swear - we're all good at this.
And let the rolling pin be useful only in the kitchen for young people. Well, in the bedroom on a passionate night, let out smoke together!
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Today is a good, sweet holiday. You have made a vow of fidelity. The prankster Cupid pierced with an arrow, so that they could be close for many years.
We wish sincerely in love that the heat of the heart be red-hot. Love, good luck, and that’s it! We drink everything to the bottom and say “Bitter!”
Long wedding toasts
Boldwy
- live in the same house and both drink vodka separately.
Oasis
is a store where vodka was brought (referring to an event during the anti-alcohol campaign).
Collapse
- On August 17, 1998, prices for foreign alcoholic beverages skyrocketed.
Let us slip a word
- who said “let’s have a drink”?
Obninsk
- one of the nuclear research centers is located in this city.
People living there try to drink more often to maintain their health. Jumped
- when one outdid the other while sitting on the stands of the hippodrome during a race.
To get shortchanged
is to drink countless glasses of vodka at the table and say that you hardly drank at all.
Obrazina
is someone who leads an unhealthy (alcoholic) lifestyle.
Ob
is a river in Siberia.
The drunkard, waking up on its bank, scooped up a glass of water and said: “I drink, Ob, your dregs.” Wow
!
- undiluted alcohol. Ogolets
drank everything away and became as naked as a falcon.
Cucumber
is a not drunk person.
Odessa
joke - “Listen, Abram, your wife and he are now drinking there, on the firewood.”
- “Whose firewood?” - "Rabinovich." - “So tell him, what do I have to do with it?” One
- and one warrior in the field, if he sipped well.
Especially when his field of activity is a trolleybus or bus. Decrepit
- unable to “take on the chest” more than two “bubbles”.
To become stupefied
is to acquire a certain state after a friendly drinking session.
(For example: “And, having lost modesty, having become stupefied, like someone else’s wife, he hugged a birch tree.” S. Yesenin.) Insight
- “But you can repeat it!”
The damned
is the one who drinks and repents, drinks and repents...
To recover
- see, hangover.
The Eye
sees , but the tooth is numb - expensive French cognac in the window.
The alcohol-related
topic is the composition of our serious-frivolous dictionary.
Window
- when Peter I cut a window to Europe, a flow of European wines poured into us.
Pericardial
- a “bubble” carried into the office area under a jacket.
Ringed
- the one who drank the Golden Ring vodka.
Coloring
doesn't mean you splashed red wine into your glass.
You can color your life with a colorless bottle of vodka. Apart from that
, he often drank kerosene with his friends, and his favorite expression was: “I drink everything except kerosene.”
Okroshka
is an excellent dish in terms of ingredients, but it would be better to fill everything with vodka, not kvass.
Round up
- a favorite technique of the waiter - round up (and how!) the amount you spent in the restaurant.
She became very round. To become angry
- the apartment in which a drunk lives, has become angry, has become intoxicated, has become cockroached.
October
holidays - on these days people first drank with joy, then with melancholy.
prophetic Oleg
- “The prophetic Oleg feasts with his retinue at the clink of a merry glass” (A. Pushkin).
And how it all ended, remember? Here we have a “feast during the plague”, but Nostradamus predicted a sad end for the large northern state. Onegin
syndrome - a review of Eugene Onegin from neighbors in the village who ended their friendship with him: “Our neighbor is ignorant, crazy;
he is a pharmacist; he drinks one glass of red wine; he doesn’t suit ladies’ arms…” Yes, sir! What is not our way means bad. This is how a teetotaler looks at someone who has picked up a glass. “ Opelsyny
atlychnye” is a signature made by a Caucasian orange trader who drank a fair amount of chacha (see).
Drinkers
are people who have drunk a lot at someone else's expense.
Landslide
- caught under the table.
Afterwards
- a new type of calculation.
The man took the “bubble” from the store. "And money?" - asked the saleswoman. “After payday,” he replied, walking away. A hangover
is a wonderful cure for the not-so-wonderful consequences of a wonderful pastime.
The horde
are uninvited guests who descend on the hero of the day.
Oryol
is a city where many eagles live (they don’t so much fly as they plow the earth with their crimson noses).
Orelik
is the one who drank Count Orlov vodka.
Hoarse
- all from vodka, from it, damned - it’s not for nothing that they say: “Osip is hoarse, and Arkhip is hoarse.”
Special
- this word is added to different names of vodka.
You just don’t feel anything special. But the paper (label) will endure everything. Refusal
- vomiting: the body does not accept any kind of rubbish in large quantities and at high degrees.
Opening
is the process of removing a cork from the neck of a wine bottle in connection with the objective need of society to consume the liquid contained in the above-mentioned bottle.
A mark
is a line left by the pressure of a fingernail on a bottle label: so far for you, the rest for me.
He was inveterate
- he sang a lot at the party and lost his voice.
Scion
- they sprinkled a little vodka into the glass.
Vacation
- I thought: I’ll drink for a whole month, but everything flew by like one day.
The poison
- Chinese-made vodka - Desperate - has moved from tea to vodka.
Why - “Why did you come so late?.. Breathe!” - “In the meeting hall... we stayed too long - Do you know what kind of director we have now? Doesn't let go." Hunting
is a reason to leave home and drink to your heart's content.
Okhotnichya
is a vodka that is drunk with special eagerness.
The bespectacled guy
rubs the traffic cop's glasses: “Yes, I drank.
Nonalcoholic beer". A malicious slanderer
- he eats vodka only with black caviar.
To come to your senses
, have a drink in Chukhlinka (it used to be a suburb of Moscow. Now it is part of the city).
We comply with the conditions
Funny congratulations should evoke a smile, laughter and create a cheerful, relaxed holiday atmosphere. None of the guests should feel offended, so it is necessary to know the composition of the guests and not raise topics that evoke unpleasant associations or memories for someone. There are three main rules to follow:
- All funny wedding toasts are short. This is due to the fact that during a feast it is difficult for guests and newlyweds to maintain voluntary attention for a long time.
- The acting and speech are rehearsed. Due to poor diction, insufficient audibility or inappropriate intonation, the meaning of the joke may not be perceived.
- Cool congratulations - appropriate. A parable, poem or anecdote should be friendly and evoke exclusively positive emotions among the heroes of the occasion and guests.
Funny toasts for a wedding require preparation, but they will definitely be remembered for a long time both by the participants of the banquet and by the heroes of the occasion.
If there is an anniversary
A funny toast for a wedding anniversary will make the event more soulful and give the guests the necessary ease and positive attitude to communication. The following option is possible for the 10th anniversary, for example:
- My husband returns from a long business trip. His wife joyfully greets him at the door, but he calmly puts down his suitcase and walks into the room, not noticing the sparkle in his wife’s eyes. She asks offendedly: “You don’t even want to kiss me?” To this he receives a whole rebuke: “Why should we organize orgies? We've been married for 10 years." I propose to raise a glass to the orgy that we can all see now! Bitterly!
The following toast can be universal and suitable for any anniversary:
- Your marriage has lasted so many years thanks to compliance with the main rule: marriage is a partnership of two. Moreover, one of them is always right under any circumstances. And the second one is a man. I propose to drink to this strict rule!
You can also offer an option in poetic form:
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Your couple is an example for us,
I will drink to your advice:
So that love does not die,
We must immediately... wash the dishes!
