The meaning of the sacrament of wedding in Orthodoxy
Before getting married, people need to become familiar with the meaning of the sacrament in the Orthodox faith. Wedding is considered a fairly important sacrament for Orthodox people. It is carried out to unite the souls of two people. Many Orthodox Christians get married to receive a blessing from the Lord for their future life together. Also, holding a sacrament is necessary to invite God to become part of the family.
Therefore, every person who sincerely believes in the Lord must be married within the walls of a sacred temple. It is not necessary to get married and sign on the same day.
We have lived with my husband for 35 years and want to get married.
4. Must be baptized, believing people who are in communion with the Church. If one of the spouses is not Orthodox, but for example, a Roman Catholic, it is necessary to write a petition addressed to the Bishop of Bishkek and Kyrgyzstan for a wedding blessing. Marriage with a person of a different faith (Muslim, Buddhist, etc.) is not sanctified by the Christian Sacrament.
1. So that your marriage is registered with the registry office before the wedding. This, in the language of the Church, is called civil marriage. The registration certificate (or a photocopy of it) is submitted to the temple registry for registration of the Wedding.
When is the best time to carry out
People who want to get married don’t know when is the best time to have the ceremony. Therefore, it is recommended to figure out in advance at what point you should contact the church. There is no time limit for a married couple, since the procedure is carried out both on the day of marriage and many years after that. However, there are three cases when a wedding may be denied:
- During fasting. Rituals cannot be performed on days when Orthodox people fast.
- Significant days. The procedure is not carried out on Maslenitsa, Christmastide and the Exaltation of the Holy Cross.
- Being married to another person. If one of the couple is married to another person, the ceremony is not performed.
Church and civil marriage: should they be combined?
Let's start with the fact that appearing before the altar on the day of civil registration is problematic. This is difficult to accomplish purely physically: a trip to the registry office, and a solemn sentry - or even two hours! - a sacrament, takes a lot of energy from the newlyweds. If the bride or groom by chance is not the lucky owner of a fabulous time flywheel, only the most enduring and patient will be able to combine these two events. However, with the proper organizational talent, everything is possible, and each couple is free to decide for themselves what to do.
But it happens that a couple comes to the idea of consecrating their relationship with a wedding after 25 years of marriage, and sometimes even more. Will the temple treat their decision with understanding? And is it true that a marital union without this act will remain a sinful cohabitation, albeit “with a stamp”?
Preparation
Preparatory work for the ceremony is carried out in several stages:
- Baptism. Only people belonging to the Orthodox Church can get married. Therefore, if a person is unbaptized, he will have to be baptized in advance, since it is forbidden to marry unbaptized people.
- Preparation of documents. It is necessary to prepare documents in advance that will confirm the registration of marriage. Without such papers, clergy may refuse to carry out the procedure.
- Organizational work. It is recommended to start organizing the celebration in advance and choose a suitable date for it.
Basic Rules
Before the wedding, you should familiarize yourself with the basic rules for holding it:
- for three days before the celebration, the couple must fast and not eat meat;
- before the wedding you should confess in order to be cleansed of your sins;
- 2-3 days before the ceremony you will have to abstain from intimate relationships;
- church marriage is performed only three times, people are denied the fourth wedding;
- marriage is prohibited between people who are civilly related;
- during the ceremony, women's heads are covered with scarves;
- before the wedding you must receive the blessing of your parents;
- clergy refuse to marry women on critical days, so it is better to check the calendar in advance.
Required Attributes
Before conducting the ceremony, you should understand the list of necessary attributes.
Wedding rings
The most important attribute of a wedding is the wedding rings that people give to each other. When choosing rings, it is recommended to adhere to ancient traditions, according to which the products should be made of pure gold. This metal is very important in Orthodoxy, as it represents the sun.
For the bride, you can choose a ring made of silver. It is considered a symbol of light and warmth in the house.
However, now such traditions are rarely observed, and therefore people buy different rings. It all depends on the preferences of the young couple, as well as their financial capabilities.
Orthodox icons
Before the ceremony, two wedding icons are prepared:
- Lord Almighty. For the ritual, they acquire this image, which depicts Christ. The icon recalls the divine essence of Jesus, who, like the Lord, participated in the creation of the world. The image gives the young family not only protection, but also peace of mind. Looking at this image, the newlyweds will remember their promises that they made at the time of the wedding.
- Kazan Icon of the Mother of God. This is one of the most revered images in the Orthodox faith. Such an icon will protect the couple from illnesses and troubles, and will also strengthen their faith. They pray to her to strengthen the family and find family happiness.
White and pink towel
An important attribute of the ceremony is the wedding towel. During the procedure, young people become attracted to it. Today the ritual is not as strict as it used to be, since in past times people kneeled on the towel. Now you can stand on it and kneeling is not necessary.
When choosing a towel, pay attention to what is depicted on it. It is recommended to use towels with images of birds or rings. Also suitable for weddings are towels that depict geometric patterns or plants. You cannot use towels that have embroidery in the center.
Pectoral cross
People to be married must be baptized. Therefore, each of them must have a pectoral cross, which was given to them at baptism. If it is not there, the clergyman may refuse to perform the ceremony. Therefore, you need to find and prepare a pectoral cross in advance for the wedding procedure.
Wedding candles
For the ceremony, the couple will need to prepare special wedding candles. They should burn continuously throughout the entire procedure. This represents warmth and light for the future family. It is recommended to select candles that would be suitable for such a ceremony. Clergymen advise buying large and thick candles, as they burn longer than others. The average burning time of such products is 30-40 minutes.
Also, along with the candles, special stands are purchased that are installed under the candles. This is done so that hot wax does not drip onto your hands.
Red wine
Cahors is considered an integral part of the solemn process. The bride and groom take turns drinking it from a common large bowl. This is church wine, which is most often used at the sacrament of communion. However, in addition to this, it is also used during the wedding of young couples. Wine is used in church ceremonies, as it symbolizes the blood of Christ. Cahors is drunk from a common cup, as it is considered a symbol of salvation and family unity. For the ritual, it is recommended to buy not fakes, but real Cahors, the strength of which should not be less than sixteen degrees.
Freshly baked bread
Freshly baked bread is prepared for the procedure. It is presented as a gift to the church for performing the wedding ceremony. According to Orthodox traditions, it is carefully wrapped in a small linen towel and handed over to the clergyman. He then breaks it and offers it to the young couple.
“If someone forced someone to return to the city now, they would probably carry me out in six months.”
“I lived without comfort all my life.
I don’t need convenience, you know. .
" These words of Fedos Khodas from the famous Soviet film “White Dews” are also relevant for Vladimir Lopatin. He and his wife have two apartments in Minsk, but the couple lives in the village. And I’m happy with this state of affairs. Vladimir Kuzmich says: “If someone forced someone to return to the city now, they would probably carry me out in six months. That’s why the living space in Minsk is empty and when we rent it out.”
During the war, Vladimir ate, for example, bread mixed with acorns. She remembers how mom and dad were taken to work. How the Vlasovites raged in the village. How the house burned...
He studied at the village seven-year school, the Gomel River Technical School, and the Kirovograd Flight School. Could sail or fly. But fate took a different path:
— After flight school, to be honest, I was preparing to enter the military academy. But in the 1960s, the army in the Union was shrinking; this direction was, as it were, not prestigious. And after weighing everything, I decided to go along the civilian line. He entered the radio faculty of the Belarusian Polytechnic Institute and after graduation went to work at the Minsk Electromechanical Plant. Military affairs, however, never left me. I ended up at the military representative office at the plant. We checked the quality of equipment for rockets.
Of course, I had my own interest in the work. But the call of the ancestors, says Vladimir Kuzmich, cannot be fooled. Therefore, immediately after retirement, he and his wife went to live in the village of Ptich near Minsk, where he seriously took up gardening, beekeeping, and livestock farming...
“When my wife and I bought this house, there were no windows or doors. Holes in the tiled roof gaped a meter wide, the barn was completely destroyed, homeless people loved to “lodge” here. In general, the devastation is complete. Difficulties and work, however, never frightened me. The house was restored. I kept rabbits, pigs, a horse, and even now I don’t give up farming, even though it has become smaller. Bees, chickens, Bim Golden Fang are here. And also a garden. At the Institute of Fruit Growing, which I have known for several decades, I have long felt at home. You can see for yourself how many trees I have here. There are, however, even more varieties, since fruits of different varieties grow on the same tree. 20 varieties of apples, 15 - pears, 10 - plums, 8 - cherry plums. My wife and I don’t buy fruits and vegetables in the summer. And our daughters and grandchildren do not have such a need. Everything is yours.
— Don’t you feel like hermits?
— The public bathhouse, where I once worked in retirement, and the first aid station here have already been closed. And in general there is nowhere to go. But Tonya, if she needs to, sometimes goes to Minsk - for example, she recently went to the Philharmonic. But for me, working on the land is the main entertainment.
— Alexander Tikhanovich said that the main component of a strong marriage is to remain silent at the right moment, especially in quarrels. What's your secret?
— Life is life. It happens, of course, that we don’t agree with each other, and we can argue a little. But I'm the kind of person who can't stay angry for long. Yes, and Tonya is also quick-witted.
How the ritual is performed
Before starting the procedure, you need to understand the main features of its implementation. The wedding ceremony begins with betrothal. The priest invites the young couple to church, showing them that they are now united with the Lord as one. As they enter the church, the wedding candles are lit and the opening prayer words are read. Then the newlyweds get married, and wedding rings are put on their hands.
By putting on the rings, people agree before the Lord to take each other as spouses. Then prayers are read dedicated to family happiness and the blessing of marriage.
At the end, the newlyweds are baptized with a crown and applied to the wedding icons. Then the newlyweds are served a bowl filled with Cahors. The husband drinks it first, then the wife drinks it. After drinking wine, they walk around the lectern three times and pronounce them husband and wife.
Wedding rings
Wedding rings have long been considered a sign of fidelity, indissolubility and purity of the marriage union. Previously, the rings had to be different: one was gold and the other was silver. The gold ring was a symbol of the sun, because of its brilliance, and the silver ring was similar to the moon. Nowadays, as a rule, gold rings are chosen for the bride and groom.
What else married couples need to know
There are several rules that married couples should familiarize themselves with.
After several years of marriage
The wedding ceremony is carried out only after the marriage has been officially registered. Therefore, it does not matter when the wedding procedure is carried out. Weddings can be performed for people who have been officially married for 10, 25 and even 30 years. It doesn't matter how many years have passed since marriage. The main thing is that it is officially registered in the registry office. In this case, the church clergyman will not be able to refuse to carry out the wedding procedure for a married couple.
If second marriage
Marriage for deeply religious people is considered a rather serious procedure, and therefore some people who decide to remarry are treated with skepticism. Most often, such people are denied a wedding, but sometimes the church may allow remarriage. There are two reasons why remarriage is permitted. These include the madness of one of the spouses or betrayal. In this case, you will have to contact the church in advance and describe the situation in detail. A good priest will be able to understand the person asking for help and will allow the wedding to be held again.
Debunking
Over time, some people can no longer live together and decide to separate. Therefore, they have to dissolve their previously concluded marriage. There are seven cases in which the Orthodox Church recognizes a church marriage as dissolved and invalid:
- proven fact of adultery;
- entering into a new marriage without prior church blessing;
- renunciation of one of the spouses from the faith;
- imprisonment;
- abortion committed by the wife without the knowledge of the husband;
- the emergence and development of mental illness;
- infringement on the life or health of other people.
All these actions are condemned by Christianity, and therefore any of them is considered a valid reason for dissolving a previously concluded marriage.
Choice and Behavior of Witnesses
The most important decision when preparing a wedding ceremony is the choice of witnesses. There are two things to pay attention to when choosing them:
- Witnesses who have previously gone through the baptism procedure are chosen for the ceremony. Therefore, each of them must have personal crosses.
- An important feature that should be taken into account when choosing witnesses is that the witnesses acquire a certain connection during the ritual. It is often equated with family ties, and therefore people who want to get married in the future should not be made witnesses. This way they will not be able to bind themselves spiritually ahead of time.
Select date
For many young couples, the problem becomes choosing a suitable date for a wedding ceremony in a church. There are several dates when it will not be possible to get married. The clergy do not allow the ceremony to be performed during:
- multi-day and one-day Orthodox fasts;
- Easter;
- moving holidays.
Therefore, it is necessary to check the calendar in advance to make sure that the selected date does not coincide with any church holiday.
