Best man at a wedding - wedding article, June 25, 2012

Team of wedding assistants

Yes, a wedding is a complex and multi-level affair. It will be difficult for the bride and groom, even with their parents, to cope with these pleasant chores. So they appoint witnesses . Witnesses perform special functions at the celebration that no one will perform for them.

And not only, according to traditions, they are assigned a certain role in organizing the wedding. Today, the bride can choose not one, but several witnesses. So is the groom, but the main one in the team of wedding assistants is the best man.

Best Man's Tasks

Traditionally, grooms choose either their brothers or their best friends as witnesses. Usually, the best man is responsible for sending out invitations, organizing a bachelor party for his friend (bachelor party), if necessary, booking a hotel room for the newlyweds, and also does his best to help with all the preparations, especially on the eve of the celebration - the boyar spends the entire day before the wedding with his friend.

The best man is the first person to come to the groom on the wedding day. It is the witness who has the boutonnieres and rings. He helps the groom dress up (yes, not only the witness helps put on the dress and jewelry for the bride, the groom’s best friend also works as a stylist on this day) and delivers him to the registry office. By the way, wedding etiquette of the 19th century dictated the following condition: the witness had to give the girl a bouquet and inform her that her beloved was already waiting. Unfortunately, this tradition has sunk into oblivion and is not observed today.

The modern role of the best man at a wedding

Modern Best Man Functions

Today, the main witness of the groom, as they say, has his mouth full of worries. And all because this person at the wedding in our time has to fulfill responsibilities that in the past were assigned to the shoulders of three. The best man is a witness at the registry office, he is also the best man at the wedding, and he is also the groomsman. Not to mention the pre-wedding functions.

Best Man - who is he?

The tradition of appointing best men is quite ancient. Previously, the most devoted friends of the groom helped him kidnap the bride from her native tribe and hide her, drove away evil spirits from the newlyweds, and blessed him on the first wedding night.

The word itself came to us from the German language in the 18th century. The verb schaffen translated into Russian means to create, create, arrange, respectively, der Schaffer - the one who creates, arranges. In relation to marriage events, the wedding planner.

In Russian tradition, the best man is the groom's friend, or more modernly, a witness .

It is very important to choose the right best man. This is an honorable, but at the same time, responsible “position”. The groom must be completely confident in his friend , because the mood and course of the holiday can depend on him.

If something does not go according to plan, then someone will have to correct the situation and turn it in the right direction. Below we will look at what the best man does at the wedding ceremony and before it.

Seriousness of choice

For these reasons, you should be meticulous in your choice of best man, groom. They should become not just a best friend, but a person with certain characteristics. These are organizational skills, responsibility, courage, minimal artistic inclinations and the ability to speak beautifully in public. So think about it, maybe you shouldn’t rashly assign such a difficult role to your best friend.

Maybe it’s worth choosing, if not the closest, but more suitable person. It will be easier for both you and him. Although, of course, such an important mission cannot be entrusted to a stranger. So weigh the pros and cons carefully.

Money keeper

During the wedding celebration, guests take turns toasting, saying the traditional “Bitter!” and, of course, they give gifts. Recently, it has become a good tradition to give newlyweds money - so to speak, a small contribution to the budget of the newly-made family. Once upon a time, ordinary jars were used as wedding treasury. But, you see, this is already a relic of the past, and it’s simply ugly. Today, this role is played by the wedding treasury, which should be prepared in advance. It is the best man who will bring this treasury to the guests, and he is also responsible for the safety of its contents.

You can make an easy, beautiful accessory yourself, believe me, it won’t take much time. Take a small cardboard, cut out the walls of the future chest, do not forget about the bottom and roof. By the way, in order for such wedding decorations for the bride and groom to serve as a long-lasting reminder of the special day, make sure that the bottom is removed or the lid is opened (this way you can remove the money without tearing the box). It is advisable that the treasury be locked with a lock to prevent it from being opened by strangers.

So, when the frame is ready, cover it with fabric, placing the latter tightly on the glue. Next, all that remains is to decorate the chest. Here you can show all your imagination: decorate it with flowers, embroidery, the initials of the newlyweds, ribbons, organza, lace... Do not forget that the traditional wedding color is white - so let the box be snow-white!

Honorary functions

Best man at a wedding

After choosing a best man, it is worth having an explanatory conversation with him. Discuss the responsibilities and complexity of an honorable mission over a cup of coffee. Also ask your friend to prepare well for the wedding. To do this, it is advisable to draw up an action plan, buy the necessary things and remanent, and write congratulatory speeches.

Tips for your best friend

Don't be timid! An enslaved best man at a wedding - what could be worse? If you are not confident in your strengths and abilities, it is better to immediately refuse the honorary role. If the role of a cheerful ringleader is not for you, let someone else play it. Well, if you agree, play it to the fullest. With a timid witness, the entire wedding may be at risk.

Find an approach to everyone. Remember, if you were invited as a witness, you won’t be able to sit in a corner, or just at the wedding table. Be prepared for communication, there will be a lot of it and with different people. By the way, the ability to negotiate won’t hurt either - this is especially necessary when ransoming a bride or when she is kidnapped (as you know, in these cases a certain amount of money must be paid by the groom and the boyar; if you don’t agree, you can lose a tidy sum).

Organize a bachelor party. Yes, yes, this is exactly your responsibility. Moreover, try to make the bachelor party memorable for your friend (still single) forever. But this does not mean at all that you need to go all out, invite strippers, get drunk and do something forbidden. It is enough to come up with an interesting, exciting scenario. You can take the interests and hobbies of the groom as a basis, and, of course, turn on your imagination!

Dress to the nines. When choosing an outfit for a witness, keep in mind that special attention will be paid to you that evening. A suit should not only be beautiful, but also fit well. It should be comfortable and not restrict your movements, because you will have to constantly participate in competitions, entertainment, and dancing.

If the witness at the wedding has a girlfriend, and the groom is under the control of the guy. How to avoid conflict?

The case when the witness and the witness are a couple is ideal for a toastmaster. You can bully them with vulgar competitions as much as you like, they won’t even blink an eye. For single boyfriends and boyfriends who like each other , wedding kissing traditions will also be considered happiness. But if a situation arises in which the heart of one or both witnesses is already occupied, and his or her partner is present at the wedding, both the newlyweds and the wedding planner will have to change the traditional scenarios.

To avoid screams, tears, fights and other manifestations of attacks of jealousy, adjust the toastmaster’s competition menu. Warn the presenter in advance about the intricacies of the personal lives of your assistants

Try to mention the beloved “Bitterness for Witnesses!” as little as possible. Agree with your boyfriend and girlfriend that the kisses will be symbolic, on the cheek.

In short, convince the lover of the witness that wedding traditions between these two persons do not obligate anyone to anything. This should be perceived only as a necessary game for the public. And no more.

According to generally accepted customs, who will be the best man at the wedding is determined by the groom. This role can only be played by a friend or relative who has not yet married. The main criteria for choosing a best man are the ability to organize events, the ability to communicate well and, most importantly, a good sense of humor.

Main responsibilities of a witness:

Meeting and getting to know the bride's parents and, if so, the bride herself. And the distribution of responsibilities throughout the celebration;
Many financial issues that may arise during a wedding also fall on the witness. These include: discussion and approval of the cost of certain services, as well as flowers and the like. To do this, the groom or his parents give a certain amount to the witness in advance;
Solving the parking problem. The best man should discuss with the wedding planners in advance where the wedding procession will be parked;
Orders and agrees on the arrival time of transport to transport guests home;
Rents cars previously chosen by the newlyweds for the wedding procession. Payment must be made by the future spouse.

A traditional bachelor party, which takes place on the eve of the wedding, must be entirely organized by the groom. But if desired, the future witness can help a friend. A bachelor party is a kind of rite of farewell to bachelorhood. Both the groom and his best man should not abuse alcohol or any other substances that cloud the mind on this day.

At a wedding, the best man should look elegant, the most important thing is that he should wear a small bouquet in the buttonhole of his suit.

What should the best man do on the wedding day:

At the appointed time, the witness arrives at the groom’s house and helps him finally complete all pre-wedding preparations, and then accompanies him to the house where the bride lives;
It is worth remembering that upon arrival at the bride, you will have to go through a series of tests that are supposedly intended for the groom, but they are performed by the witness. One of the most important rituals is the ransom, and it is worth preparing for it in advance. If you pay off with money, then you will have to bargain. After all, the real amount that can be asked for a girl may simply not fit in your pocket. The witness must have with him: flowers for women (mothers, grandmothers, sisters of the bride), as well as champagne, fruits and sweets. If you want to butter up your bridesmaid, then save a bouquet for her too;
During the marriage registration ceremony at the registry office or palace, the best man and the witness pour champagne and make sure that none of the guests is left out;
The best man should also stock up on champagne for the trip. Since after the registry office the newlyweds and guests will go for a ride in the wedding procession;
The witness, together with the groom, is organizing the walk (the route along which the cortege will travel);
The marriage of the newlyweds is witnessed at the registry office by the groom;
Ensures that photographers work efficiently;
Reads congratulations written on postcards addressed to the newlyweds.

Responsibilities of the best man at a wedding banquet:

Is always close to the young;
Helps the toastmaster in organizing games, competitions, dances and so on. And he himself takes part in all this;
He watches throughout the holiday so that the bride is not stolen;
If the bride or her shoe is stolen, she helps the groom find and ransom his new wife.

If the wedding is celebrated for only one day, then after the guests leave, the witnesses no longer have responsibilities.

What should a witness be like at a wedding? The charm of activity

A witness, who is also a bridesmaid, is a person in the “splits” position .

Firstly, her main task is to be always and everywhere with the hero of the occasion. Help, support, advise, negotiate, stop the motorcade in its tracks and enter the burning banquet hall.

The bride's desire is the law for her witness

Secondly, she needs to memorize and follow all wedding signs if the bride is superstitious and considers their fulfillment to be the key to family happiness.

Thirdly, with a joyful smile, take part in competitions, songs and dances, which are arranged by an overly active wedding host.

Fourthly, with all this activity, do not overshadow the bride herself with either charisma or appearance.

What should a bridesmaid look like? Flawless! But by no means brighter. Dress, makeup, hairstyle, jewelry and other attributes of the groom's image should only highlight and support the image of the newlywed. The future bridesmaid can find out how and with what to properly decorate herself here.

Identical bridesmaid dresses are a good solution for a themed wedding

Dress code for witnesses

If we talk about the best man's clothes, then everything is simple. His outfit is a formal suit or tuxedo. A distinctive feature is a boutonniere made of fresh or artificial flowers.

As for a girlfriend, there are many more rules and criteria. The first thing to remember is that you should never try to outshine the bride. The friend must understand that this is not her holiday, so a white outfit is excluded.

The second point is the frankness of the dress. It should not be provocative or too open. The number of rhinestones, sparkles or other bright details should be kept to a minimum. A crinoline is inappropriate in a witness's outfit - this is the prerogative of the newlywed.

In addition, there is no need to wear high-heeled shoes to the wedding, as there is a lot of work to be done. The ideal option is to take spare shoes with you, and wear elegant shoes only for the official part of the ceremony.

Expensive pleasure

Compliance with American wedding rituals costs the heroes of the occasion a pretty penny, namely tens of thousands of dollars. We are talking about a classic wedding. The first thing you need to spend money on is rings. In the United States, you can buy a set of three rings, one for men and two for women—an engagement ring and a wedding ring. As a rule, these jewelry are made of gold and encrusted with diamonds or other stones. After the newlyweds are engaged and engaged, careful preparations for the significant event begin.

Various agencies will help you prepare your wedding. There are many such organizations in the States. Some are engaged in decorating the premises, others advise on the rules of holding an American wedding, provide wedding managers, others take responsibility for the festive table, and so on. A couple cannot do without the services of an atelier. How magnificent the wedding will be and how many guests will be present depends on the thickness of the wallet and the status of the future young family.

Responsibilities of witnesses during a wedding

What do witnesses do at a wedding? As during preparation, they make sure that the future spouses worry about organizational issues as little as possible and enjoy their celebration.

During the wedding, a witness from the groom's side:

helps a friend buy his bride. The best man should take a few small bills with him, as the groom will probably forget about it;
before the wedding ceremony, the registry office checks that passports and rings are in place;
during a banquet in a restaurant, monitors the behavior of guests and waiters, avoiding conflicts and other unpleasant situations;
doesn't drink too much alcohol.

At a wedding, the bride's friend acts as a maid of honor. Responsibilities of a witness:

carry out a ransom;
carefully monitor the bride’s appearance and inform her if her makeup has rubbed off, her tights are torn, or her hairstyle has deteriorated;
help guests find their seats in the banquet hall;
help the bride accept bouquets and gifts.

Both the best man and the bridesmaid should come up with several toasts and parting words to the future spouses. The witness's toast at a wedding should be original and memorable.