When getting married, all young couples are sure that their family will be the strongest and happiest. But in order for a “reliable rear” to truly remain so, both husband and wife will have to make a lot of effort, mutual understanding and patience. And this is where it’s worth talking about such a concept as “marital duty.” The svadebka.ws team invites you to discuss this intimate issue.
Marital duty from the perspective of jurisprudence
Marital rights and obligations are spelled out in the Family Code of the Russian Federation, which regulates property and non-property issues, as well as issues in raising children, caring for parents, etc.
The only thing that is not legally fixed is the relationship between spouses in intimate life. The exception is situations when there is violence or perversion in sexual life, with which one of the spouses categorically disagrees and cannot fight alone.
The main responsibilities of spouses in the modern world
The obligations of the husband acting as head of the family include:
- Maintenance of the entire family, providing each member with security and protection;
- Earning money through decent and honest work to support the family;
- The desire to earn enough to earn enough for all family members, and the spouse does not have to work;
- Be a family leader and be an example for your children;
- Actively raise your children;
- Showing concern for your older and younger relatives, as well as the disabled, to the same degree as your wife;
- Satisfying the wife's physiological needs sexually;
- Compliance with tactics of communication with strangers and protecting your wife from flirting and more serious relationships with strangers;
- Be responsible for the relationships between your family members, etc.
If a husband fails to fulfill his obligations in family life, they automatically pass on to the fragile shoulders of his woman and are considered paramount.
In general, the obligations of the spouse, as the custodian of the family hearth, include:
- Successfully keeping the house clean and tidy, performing household chores;
- Supporting and helping your spouse to be a family leader and an example for your children;
- Giving birth and raising children;
- Showing concern for your older and younger relatives, as well as the disabled, to the same degree as your husband;
- Compliance with tactics of communication with strangers and protecting your husband from flirting and more serious relationships with strange women, etc.
A wife is not obligated to support her family and earn money for a living! And the husband has no right to demand from her the fulfillment of his obligations if he does not fulfill them himself.
The family obligations of both spouses are as follows:
- Raising children and caring for them, and it doesn’t matter whether they are native or adopted, or left over from a previous marriage;
- Care and care for parents, material assistance, moral support, assistance to them in raising their grandchildren;
- The same attitude of both spouses towards all relatives - small, adult, and disabled;
- Maintaining good relationships with neighbors and work colleagues;
- Following tactics of communication with the opposite sex and protecting each other from attraction to the opposite sex;
- Respect for the religious views of all family members, etc.
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A desire that arises periodically cannot always be realized. And the spouses begin to look for a way out of the situation. As a rule, sexual life is subject to a regime within the family. Classic version: the work week is coming to an end. Friday evening is quite sluggish, everyone is tired and just dreaming of getting to bed. All the action heats up on Saturday morning. This is how “Saturday sex” gradually comes into the couple’s life.
It becomes something obligatory, something wildly familiar and ordinary, like brushing your teeth. The worst thing is that the spouses begin to take this completely calmly. Well, what can you do if Saturday morning is the only time when you can indulge in sweet pleasures. It’s just that romance is practically non-existent here. We woke up, shook our heads and went on to do things further. No pink snot. Sex takes on shades of efficiency and concentration, that is, it becomes a real marital duty.
There is another situation under which the concept of “marital duty” falls. This is a difference in temperament. It’s a difficult moment if the spouses cannot agree. In general, few people pay attention to such a thing. But it is very common in families. Let us assume that the spouse does not fulfill her marital duty often due to lack of desire. Once a week is enough for her, or even less. A decrease in libido occurs due to many factors and often makes a person simply asexual. This is not a disease, this is not frigidity.
It's just such an organism. But the husband, even at 40 years old, retains the capabilities and needs of a 20-year-old boy. He needs it all the time. Why complicate life for yourself and your husband when you can have sex calmly and without languishing in your chest. Yes, it’s nice, yes, orgasm happens, it’s rare, but it happens, and it’s not difficult. And then sex for the wife becomes the notorious “marital duty.” In principle, no one is offended and everyone is happy.
Marital duty from a moral perspective
A real full-fledged family is built not only on property and non-property relations between spouses, enshrined in legislation, and not only on sexual life.
A real family is built on the love and respect of partners for each other, loyalty, patience, spending time together and common interests, having common views on life, help, support and mutual assistance.
Marital responsibilities from a moral point of view are not fixed anywhere and are in fact informal, but in family life the fulfillment of these responsibilities is the norm for both spouses, as a matter of course.
Sex as a working moment
Sex can easily become work. This happens most often when a couple, for some natural reason, cannot conceive a child. Then sex is strictly planned. What pleasure is there if your wife has started ovulating? The husband, abandoning everything, rushes to inseminate his wife. There is no time for romance at such a moment. He busily did his job and rushed off over the horizon to resolve financial matters. The danger of this situation is that the habit of businesslike behavior remains, which gradually displaces romance.
Sex can be a means of blackmail. This is also a working moment. Ladies often resort to this. They love to send their spouse to a cot and deny access to the body for the slightest mistakes. Then the husband begins to work off the offense. Not only does it bring everything that the capricious beast wants on a silver platter, but the sex should not only be of high quality, but downright transcendental. Otherwise there will be no forgiveness.
Women also sin with sex work. When you want to get some trinket, a woman starts earning it. If in normal times the spouse does not show off special somersaults in bed, then in the process of earning money, she is capable of putting on whole shows. There are role-playing games, all sorts of gadgets, and toys. That's the only way a witcher works. While the hubby is quietly freaking out over yet another trick, the wife is striking a hot iron: “Dear, my phone is dead, I’ve already got my eye on the model, please buy it!” The exhausted husband, weakly resisting, finally breaks down and gives consent. As soon as the treasured box is in the tenacious paws of the wife, the good stuff ends. But exactly until the next “I want.” This is how the spouse lives in illusion.
In general, working sex can only be for conceiving an heir, which has already been mentioned. Everything else is banal everyday prostitution. That's what it's called. And it doesn’t matter if it’s for the sake of a fur coat or a test at university. Payment does not necessarily depend on money. There is an equivalent, which means there is a cost. It's just different for everyone.
There is sex work called prostitution. This is the real income. The reasons why people go into prostitution are varied. There is no need to go into detail about why they do this. This is their exclusive right. But, we have to agree that without prostitution there is nowhere. This profession will always be in demand. After all, with its help, many people solve their sexual problems. You can even give a touch of nobility to this activity.
For example, a disabled man. Of course, he does not have a wife or permanent partner. But sex is a natural need of the body. You won’t be full with just one hand and everyone wants the warmth of a living body. How can such a person solve his problem? Right! Call the woman who provides this service. For her, this is just a job, and accordingly she won’t turn up her nose. It will bring pleasure, perhaps maintain a heart-to-heart conversation and go home. She has money, he has satisfaction.
Abyss of pleasure
The true purpose of sex, if you do not take into account the process of reproduction, is to express your attitude towards your partner. The nakedness of bodies is comparable to the nakedness of souls. A naked person is defenseless and fragile from any side. This is a manifestation of maximum trust in your partner.
Love cannot be touched, but it can be wrapped in tactility. Hands, lips, all this can transmit signals of love fluids. This is why the concepts of “having sex” and “making love” are so different. Having sex is doing work, making love is conveying to a person your attitude towards him. Hence the difference in sensations.
Work is work. It brings nothing but fatigue. No, there is, of course, satisfaction with the results of what has been done, but there is no real pleasure. The same cannot be said about love. In this case, the desire is mutual, it is not subject to external factors, it erases the boundaries of time and space. When a person makes love, there is no concept of quality sex. Everything happens by itself and plunges you into the abyss of pleasure and eternity.
Every person has this experience. It cannot be said that someone had only mechanical sex. It is enough to remember your first relationship to understand what we are talking about. That’s when they say, “We just fucked and ran away.”
The color sex takes depends on both partners. You cannot condemn long-term couples for marital debt, you cannot condemn women for prostitution, you cannot try to carry passion through the years. As it goes, so be it. Only one thing is important: no matter what the sex is, you need to have respect for the one who undressed and showed his essence.
People themselves turn sex into a marital duty. Therefore, it is so important to initially understand how much you and your partner coincide in terms of sexual temperament. You should also try to always find time to be alone. You need to constantly work on relationships - they will not exist on their own, even if the union is supported by strong mutual feelings. To prevent sex from becoming a marital duty, it is necessary to constantly add variety to it and try something new. Fortunately, today there are a lot of opportunities for this - from sex toys to renting specialized BDSM rooms. Experiment!
He doesn't want to have sex because he's manipulating you
By manipulating, people create certain situations and circumstances and thereby force another person to do something against his will. In a marriage, one partner will always want intimacy more than the other. Therefore, someone who is less interested in them may use this method of manipulation to force the other to do something that he does not want to do. Any manipulation is evil, but if one of the spouses uses intimate relationships for this, he hurts his partner and in the future he himself will suffer because of this.
Wife's responsibilities at home
When a woman gets married, she has additional responsibilities. What are the responsibilities of a wife?
- She must maintain order and cleanliness in the house, wash and iron things;
- Cook food;
- Raising children;
- Emotionally support your husband.
Basically, the responsibilities are universal, which both spouses can handle. But there are some that only a woman can do.
Creating comfort
Men usually do not strive to make their home cozy. They have no desire to buy various things that make an empty house feel lived-in, where they want to return after work. That's why women do this.
Cooking
The husband can also cook lunch or dinner. But most often the one who cooks is the one who has more free time and who returns from work earlier. Very often it is the wives who come early, so they have to prepare lunch, dinner and breakfast.
Making a list of required products
Making a grocery list is a purely female responsibility. After all, if you allow your husband or son to go to the store and choose products at their own discretion, it is likely that the family’s daily diet will consist of dumplings with mayonnaise, cones with ketchup and fried potatoes.
Parenting
Both parents should be involved in raising children. But if the question concerns a baby, then in this case the wife knows better what the child needs and why he cries.
But this does not mean at all that a father should not help his wife. He must do everything so that she can rest.
The purchase falls on the wife's shoulders:
- Curtain;
- Towels;
- Bed linen;
- Blankets;
- Tablecloth.
Since she understands the quality of fabrics better than a man, she understands which ones will be pleasant to the body and will last a long time.
Cleaning of the apartment
The husband and wife should clean together, and also involve children in this if they are already of the right age.
But for everyday cleaning - dusting, watering flowers - a woman usually needs 5-10 minutes.
Washing dishes
If the family does not have a dishwasher, the woman usually does the washing.
Financial distribution
If you spend money thoughtlessly, you can get into huge debts. A woman must ensure that the money planned for household needs does not run out ahead of time. And to do this, you just need to properly plan the family budget so that there is enough money to buy food, shoes, clothes, and pay utility bills.
Maintaining order in the house
It is known that it is clean not where they clean, but where they do not litter. It is the woman who has to make sure that every thing is in its place.
