Indian wedding night in India: basic customs and traditions

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Most modern couples do not need to wait anxiously for their first wedding night. After all, almost all newlyweds have already had intimate relationships before marriage. But in India they approach this event with particular enthusiasm.

Indian wedding ceremony

The ceremony lasts not just a few hours, but several joyful, colorful days, like nowhere else in the world. All religious ceremonies are performed in the presence of figurines of the family gods in order to receive their blessings. The number of guests can reach 5 million people! However, usually no more than 2000 invitations are sent out for a wedding in India.

Music and songs are an integral part of any ceremony. For 4-5 days, the fun is organized in such a way as to attract all relatives and friends. Married women sing wedding songs and girls dance.

According to Hindu tradition, each ceremony begins with receiving blessings from the god Ganashi, who removes all obstacles and endows the young with wisdom and knowledge. Therefore, the groom performs worship to the god in the designated place of the temple, and the bride in her bedroom asks for a long and happy married life from the goddess Gowra.

Pay

Suhagraat is also a night when relatives and friends laugh at the groom, teasing him for his impatience to join his bride. They don't let him leave them until late in the evening. Even in this case, the groom's sisters or other young relatives delay him by fulfilling their demand, which can be considered as "payment" for visiting the bedroom. There's a lot of fun and laughter as the poor groom negotiates with his sisters before they leave the newlyweds. Then the sisters wish him luck and blessings for his new life and release him.

Themed celebration

Want to have a themed wedding? No problem! Wedding agencies will offer you a choice of:

• Wedding in a nautical style. Ideal for the beach! White and blue decorations for the arch, steering wheel and seashells will help create the right atmosphere. You will feel like real captains setting off on a long journey!
• Shabby chic style wedding. Here it is possible to mix different eras and scenery to create the desired mood. Combine shabby and artificially aged decorative elements with the most exquisite jewelry - create your own unique style!
• Wedding in Tiffany style. This option is suitable for lovers of luxury. More crystal and diamonds, pink champagne and chocolate as a treat, and of course, a lot of snow-white flowers! Sophistication and chic are the motto of such a wedding.
• Tropical style wedding. For people who are tired of the bustle of the city and dream of a riot of colors, this wedding is perfect! The ocean shore and palm trees will serve as beautiful backdrops, and bright tropical flowers will add the finishing touches.
• Fruit wedding. Where else to celebrate such a celebration if not in a tropical country rich in fruits! Decorate your celebration with sliced ​​apples, oranges, peaches or watermelon - you will have an incredibly bright “vitamin” wedding!
• Country style wedding. Add simplicity and comfort to the interior - chintz ribbons, bamboo chairs, wildflowers. Nothing flashy or luxurious - everything is natural and as simple as possible.

Traditions and rituals

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Wedding procession and refreshments (Baraat and swagat)

The next day, the groom, accompanied by his family and friends, makes his way to the bride in a festive procession. Usually, even in our time, he sits astride a decorated horse. The wedding procession accompanying the future husband can consist of several hundred, or even thousands of people.

Previously, only men were allowed to walk in the wedding walk, but nowadays close relatives not only walk, but also dance in the wedding procession.

In the courtyard, the bride's parents, along with other family members, congratulate the groom, his parents and relatives. At the same time, the father greets the father, the mother greets the mother, the brother greets the brother, and so on ad infinitum, all the guests. Participants in the wedding procession wear garlands of flowers around their necks and are offered soft drinks, light snacks and sweets. They are all also invited to the wedding supper.

In most cases, all expenses associated with organizing a wedding in India are borne by the bride's parents. But the groom's parents, as a sign of gratitude, make a donation to the priest, which is called dakshina.

After the general greeting, the mother of the bride greets her future son-in-law. She hangs a garland around his neck, draws a Tilak at his head, and treats him to a small cake and a betel leaf (an Indian edible plant), which signifies respect and submission.

Next comes the ceremony of handing over the daughter (kanya danam). Kanya danam is performed by the bride's father or guardian in front of a large number of witnesses. He pours blessed water onto the ground - symbolizing that he is giving his daughter to the groom. The groom recites Vedic hymns to Kamu, the god of love and blessings. As a condition for handing over his daughter to the man, the father asks him to promise to help his wife in realizing three goals: dharma (religion), artha (family economy) and kama (pleasure).

The bride smears turmeric powder on her hands, thereby agreeing to change her status from single woman to wife. The groom repeats the promise three times, after which he gets off the horse. Together they go to the place of consecration of the marriage.

Category: Pen stroke 05

Perhaps the most mysterious and closed people existing today are the gypsies. It’s paradoxical: they are everywhere, everyone knows who they are, what they look like, but how they live, their real traditions are little known. The wedding night is an intimate event, not public in all countries of the world. The gypsies' first wedding night is shrouded in a trail of mystery and mythicality, since none of the strangers have ever attended a gypsy wedding, much less come close to the couple's bedroom.

The main stages of a gypsy wedding

Matchmaking or kidnapping of the bride, registration at the registry office or wedding, a feast for the whole world or a modest buffet - a wedding takes place in different ways. Among the gypsies, everything happens on a grand scale. Due to their colorfulness and tendency to shock, Romans cannot hold a wedding without sparkle. All the money that the families of the newlyweds can afford is spent on the wedding. The customs of a gypsy wedding are:

the bride, as a rule, is very young: 19 years is already a stale commodity. And, of course, innocent. The tradition of early marriage is designed precisely to preserve the purity of the girl;

• the groom’s parents choose the girl most often at weddings, where all unmarried girls of suitable age perform a dance designed to “present the product in the best possible way”;
• after choosing a bride, they offer their ransom price for her;
• If the groom's family is not rich enough, there is a tradition of kidnapping the bride.

After a night in the guy's house, the girl's parents can no longer refuse the wedding, because the daughter is considered spoiled;

The gypsies do not have an official event, they do not need a registry office. Public oaths of fidelity are enough, and now the gypsy husband and wife are ready. After a stormy feast and songs and dances, the newlyweds face their biggest test: their wedding night.

Versions of the first wedding night among gypsies

A girl's innocence before the wedding is a prerequisite, otherwise a huge stain of shame falls on her entire family. Proof of virginity is the most climactic moment of the wedding. Due to the secrecy of gypsies and the fact that they do not allow strangers into their world, there are several options for how hour X passes.

This version seems the most plausible for our worldview.

The newlyweds, after the main congratulations, go to the bedroom. The three main women of the camp also go with them, who will wait for evidence of innocence directly under the doors of the young people’s room. After intimacy, the couple brings a bloody sheet to the court of respectable ladies. This ritual is called “carrying out honor.”

This option is quite harsh, cruel and not very acceptable for civilized people.

The beginning coincides with option number one, only dear ladies are no longer outside observers, but active participants in the process. The young husband does not touch the girl. Now he just looks from the side. Women carry out the act of defloration simply with their hands. To do this, they wrap a sheet around a finger and penetrate the newly-made wife, depriving her of her innocence. The process seems to be unpleasant and very traumatic. By and large, this is rape in its harshest form. The poor girl not only receives physical injury, but also loses the desire to make love for a long time. If this version really works, I would like to hope that a loving husband in their subsequent life together will be able to restore the girl’s faith in pleasant sexual intimacy. With his tenderness, warmth and patience, he will be able to regain trust and melt a girl’s heart, so mercilessly crippled at the very beginning of her life’s journey.

The newlyweds do not go anywhere and make love in front of the jubilant guests right on the banquet table. It turns out to be a “carrying out of honor” online.

One way or another, only the gypsies themselves know for certain how the first wedding night takes place; this secret is sacredly kept by them and is unlikely to ever be revealed. We can only say with certainty about the ritual of “carrying out honor.” The sheet with the bloody stain is placed on a special tray and decorated with red ribbons. The same ribbons are given to the groom's relatives in gratitude for the ransom. The girl’s parents are thanked for their daughter’s integrity.

After successful defloration, the girl puts on a red dress, braids her hair and no longer uses a veil. It is from this moment that she is fully considered a married woman.

There is a slightly different option for showing proof of innocence. The sheet with the blood stain is taken straight out into the street and opened high above the head so that everyone can verify the integrity of the bride.

The soul of a gypsy is mysterious and incomprehensible. Only one thing is clear: the girl is still placed below her husband. Her well-being, joy and moral health are not valued dearly. It is like a product that must pass a quality test, otherwise it will be rejected. Sad.

Table manners

According to Indian customs, it is customary to take food with your hands.
When sitting down at the table, you should remember the “right hand” rule. It is prohibited to “help” with the second hand (left). The sauce and food are taken from the plates with bread or traditional chapati flatbreads. Spoons are used only when eating liquid foods. Each state in India encourages compliance with its own etiquette rules that relate to curry (a liquid, spicy dish of stewed vegetables). In the southern regions of the country, it is recommended to eat the sauce using your entire right hand; residents of the northern states prefer a more refined option - touching the dish with your fingertips. Indians also follow strict rules regarding table manners. The guest should receive the best. He is the first to try the treat, after him the head of the family touches the dish, and then the children. Mothers and wives are not always invited to the table. Most often they are busy preparing food in the kitchen. Residents of large cities, unlike villagers, are less demanding in observing these traditions.

According to national etiquette, every dish of the Indian table must be tasted. Refusal of a treat may offend the owner of the house. In India there is no thanks for a meal. Wanting to show appreciation for a meal is considered an insult.

How much to tip the wait staff?

In eastern countries, tips are denoted by the word “baksheesh”. In India, it is customary to reward people by emphasizing the quality of their service, although tipping is not a mandatory duty. Typically, tips are given to taxi drivers, porters and hotel employees, waiters, and rickshaw pullers on the street. It is worth remembering one important detail: a person who received a decent amount in tip will expect more from the client in the future. An acceptable amount for high quality service is from 20 to 40 rupees.

Gypsy wedding traditions and customs

A gypsy wedding traditionally lasts three days, it is full of customs, many of which have survived to this day from the distant past. A distinctive feature of the marriage of the Roma people is that going to the registry office is not necessary for them; they only need the approval of the community, and divorce is not provided for. Another feature is chastity before the wedding and strong moral principles, and therefore men and women (even the bride and groom until the second wedding day) sit separately during the feast so as not to touch each other.

Matchmaking at a young age

A common tradition among gypsies is the matchmaking of children in infancy. This usually happened in friendly families who would like to become related by blood. The bride does not necessarily have to know that she is being matched, and this is understandable if she is still a child at that time

In addition, in Roma families the classic patriarchal way of life is still strong, in which the daughter does not dare to contradict her father even on such an important issue for her

During matchmaking, the groom's relatives come to the house of the girl's (or girl's) parents and bring two main attributes:

• a “flat” bottle of wine (a bottle of wine hung with expensive coins) or “drevtse” (a branch hung with scarves and money, used in the customs of Russian gypsies);
• wedding cake (a loaf covered with a scarf, baked by the groom's relatives).

If all this is put on the table, then the bride’s parents are not against marrying their daughter to this groom. During matchmaking, a viewing of the future wife takes place, the amount of the ransom is negotiated, which is transferred to the girl’s parents. The bride's side's contribution to the well-being of the young family is a rich dowry - mainly pillows, blankets, jewelry, etc.

Selecting the day and month of celebration

A gypsy wedding is a special event. Considering the duration of the holiday (the celebration is divided into three days), it is necessarily scheduled for the summer, when guests can walk around, sing, and dance in comfortable conditions. Previously, it was customary to install low tables and spread carpets directly on the ground on which guests were supposed to sit, which would have been impossible in the cold season. Nowadays, this tradition is rarely performed, but the custom of celebrating in the summer remains.

Bride theft and ransom payment

In gypsy families, it is customary to pay a ransom for the bride whom the groom wants to marry. Part of it compensates for the loss of an assistant who was in the house of the girl’s parents, and part goes to the newly formed family. The amount of the ransom must be equivalent to the merits of the future wife. If the groom was unable to pay the required amount of money or the bride’s side did not agree to their daughter’s marriage to him, then he often kidnapped the bride and took her to his home or outside the community. Nowadays, future wives are rarely kidnapped, but if this happens, then all holiday expenses and expenses are transferred to the bride’s family.

Blessing with an icon or bread

Blessing with an icon and bread is performed only among Orthodox gypsies, but this does not negate their caste structure, which originates from Indian customs. Therefore, only the upper strata of the community can bless the newlyweds with an icon, and the lower ones can only bless the newlyweds with bread. The wedding loaf itself is baked exclusively by those women who have succeeded in family life, while the rest buy it.

Tradition "Take out of honor"

The tradition of the gypsy wedding “Carrying out of honor” is also called the ceremony of bringing together and means the actual unification of the newlyweds. The custom takes place after the wedding celebration: the bride and groom appear before the oldest relatives, who tell them parting words and give them bread and salt. After eating a piece of baked goods, the newlyweds go to the wedding tent or bedroom, where the wedding takes place, after which the guests are brought out a tray with the bride’s shirt and red flowers.

There is another version of the tradition, according to which it is not a shirt that is taken out, but a sheet with traces of blood on which the bride lost her virginity. This is the “Carrying Out of Honor” - a symbolic event that marks the moment of the actual creation of a new family. After the meeting, the accomplished wife puts on a red dress and goes out to the guests. If the shirt is not taken out or there is no blood on the sheet, shame falls on the bride and her family and the marriage is dissolved.

Rite of “Brotherhood” (unity of blood)

The rite of “Brotherhood” occurs between the newly made husband and wife after the “Removal of Honor” has been performed. It is a demonstration of the unity of blood: cuts are made on the hands of the newlyweds, which then come into contact, as a result of which the blood on the wounds mixes. From now on, newlyweds are considered relatives, they are obliged to divide everything in half and raise their children together.

What should tourists remember when traveling to India?

Respecting national customs and honoring the traditions of India is the responsibility of not only Indians, but also visitors. Tourists must also adhere to etiquette rules when communicating with the owners of the territory, walking, visiting temples and shrines. Indians, especially provincials, are very fond of “communicating” in sign language and closely monitor visitors

Therefore, tourists should pay attention to this. Don't challenge locals by snapping your fingers, clapping your hands or winking

Such behavior is regarded as an insult. Under no circumstances should you show your index finger, pointing somewhere. This is a sign of bad taste.

Since the cow is a sacred animal, the use of beef for cooking is unacceptable. Tourists should also not tease local residents and eat this meat.

One of the local traditions is the ban on alcohol in public places. Violators face serious fines.

When going to the toilet or hinting at the need to go there, you should not say this word out loud. It is customary to replace it with the phrase “number one.” Otherwise, Indians will ignore the request to tell you where this place is.

In general, residents of a controversial and mysterious country are quite loyal to visitors. The main thing is to remember the prohibitions and respect the traditions of the local population in order to prevent misunderstandings.

Blessing of marriage among gypsies

After the woman’s honor has been proven and the marriage has been approved by relatives, the newlyweds are blessed with an icon and bread. Only members of the upper strata can hold the icon in their hands. The bread is prepared for women who have already built a family and are famous for their wealth and happiness. It is believed that this ritual helps to imbue the bread with positive energy. Prayers are read before the bride and groom. After this, they must kiss the icon and take a bite of bread.

Some gypsies perform a fraternization ceremony. Young people need to make cuts on their fingers and lean them against each other when the blood begins to flow. It is from this moment that the wife and husband can be considered blood relatives who are forever connected.

A gypsy wedding is rich in its traditions. Each of them honors and respects the rules that were invented by their ancestors. But it is worth noting that among the Roma people there is no such thing as divorce. This is explained by the fact that they are not registered in the registry offices. It’s just that if one spouse is not happy with something, then it’s enough to say so and go back to their native land. But this happens extremely rarely.

wedding ceremony

The wedding itself, according to Indian canons and traditions, is incredibly beautiful. A fairy tale coming to life before our eyes makes the hearts of even those who have not believed in miracles for a long time tremble. Handsome young people, a white horse, like a girl’s dream come true, and much more. This is how an Indian wedding works.

Arrival of the groom

Every girl's dream is a betrothed on a white horse! According to wedding tradition in India, the groom comes to his chosen one on a white horse decorated with red and yellow garlands. Accompanied by a witness, guests, musicians with loud songs and dances, the groom arrives at the girl’s home. Only men meet him - the bride's father and uncle, all women run out of the way so as not to catch the groom's eye, this is considered a bad omen.

The bride's younger brother is given the honor of meeting the groom at the very gate. According to tradition, he washes his feet and kisses him like a relative.

Shubho drishti - the very first look

The wedding itself in India begins in the evening at the girl’s home. To perform the ceremony, according to tradition, a special tent is built. It is covered with an awning and four palm trees are placed in the corners. The tent is decorated with fresh fragrant flowers, mostly yellow.

The groom, standing on a stone, waits for the wooden palanquin with his betrothed to be taken out. The bearers carry the bride seven times around the groom and stand her down. The guests ask the guy and the girl to look at each other, that is, to perform the wedding ritual of Shubho Drishti - the first glance.

Wedding

According to all traditions, weddings in India are performed on an empty stomach; the newlyweds are forbidden to eat anything until the ceremony is completed.

For weddings, a small wedding temple “vedi” is built from five bamboo sticks, which are covered with an awning on top. A fire is lit inside the temple. One end of the bride's sari is tied to the groom's sash to unite them forever. The newlyweds sit near the fire.

The brahman (priest) reads prayers, chants sacred mantras, gives the floor to the newlyweds to take an oath, after which he ties the hands of the young couple with a wedding garland of flowers, uniting their souls forever, for all seven generations. As tradition dictates, the newlyweds walk around the fire seven times. From now on, the groom considers the girl his wife, which he confirms by applying red paint to her forehead and parting. Indians call a parting dyed red "sindoor".

Celebration in Bozargan

After the wedding, all guests go to a special room - bozargan, where they arrange a fun wedding spectacle with original Indian dances and songs, which lasts until the morning.

At the end of the wedding fun, the newlyweds still stay overnight at the bride’s house; according to tradition, the newlyweds are put to bed in different rooms.

Escorting a young wife to her husband's house

On the morning of the second day, the guests take the newlyweds, who are still wearing their wedding dresses, home to their husband, where the parents once again bless the newlyweds and give them gifts. On the second day of the wedding, no events take place; everyone is resting after yesterday's celebration.

According to tradition, in India a young wife can return home to her parents only after a month and pay them their first visit.

Arrival of in-laws at the husband's house

Having rested after the wedding, on the third day the young wife’s relatives traditionally come with gifts to her husband’s home, where the festive table is already set for them and wedding entertainment awaits them again.

Massacre in the Bahutu tribe, Rwanda

Let's start with, perhaps, one of the wildest and at the same time long foreplay. In the Bahutu tribe, before the newlyweds begin their immediate duties, they must beat each other. Moreover, the wife has the right to beat her newly-made husband with any objects that come to her hand. After the fight ends, the wife goes back to her father's house. This whole cycle of beatings and running away to his father continues for exactly a week. And only at the end do they finally give in to the act of love. According to the beliefs of the tribe, this custom allows you to throw out all your emotions on each other, after which the marriage becomes truly happy and long-lasting.

Common elements across cultures

Many cultures have adopted the traditional Western custom of a white wedding, where the bride wears a white wedding dress and veil. Painting by Edmund Leighton (1853–1922)

Wedding party at Stockholm Lillienhoff Palace in Sweden in 2022

Some cultures have adopted the traditional Western custom of a white wedding, where the bride wears a white wedding dress and veil. This tradition was popularized by the marriage of Queen Victoria. Some say that Victoria's choice of a white dress may have simply been a sign of extravagance, but it may also have been influenced by her values, which emphasized sexual purity. In the modern "white wedding" tradition, a white dress and veil are an unusual choice for a woman's second or subsequent wedding.

The wedding ring has long been used at religious weddings in Europe and America, but the origins of this tradition are unclear. One possibility is the Roman belief in the Vena amoris, which was believed to be a blood vessel running from the ring finger straight to the heart. Thus, when a couple wore rings on this finger, their hearts were connected. Historian Vicki Howard notes that the belief in the "ancient" quality of the practice is most likely a modern invention. "Double ring" ceremonies are also a modern practice; the groom's wedding ring did not appear in the United States until the early 20th century.

The exit from the wedding ceremony is also called the "send-off" and often includes traditional customs such as the bowing of the newlyweds and the wedding bows and knee-kissing of the elders in Ethiopian weddings. The send-off often involves throwing rice (a symbol of prosperity and fertility) or other seeds at the newlyweds in much of the Western world, as well as in India and Malaysia, for example. Despite concerns to the contrary, using raw rice for this purpose is not harmful to birds. Tossing shoes instead of rice has also been used in several cultures.

The wedding ceremony is often followed by a wedding reception or wedding breakfast, during which rituals may include speeches from the groom, best man, father of the bride and possibly the bride, the newlyweds as a couple, and the cutting of a sumptuous wedding cake. In recent years, the traditions have changed to include a father-daughter dance for the bride and her father, and sometimes also a mother-son dance for the groom and his mother.

France and chamber pots

France is now considered one of the most sophisticated countries, and in the Middle Ages a chamber pot was a mandatory piece of furniture in every bedroom. This is where a strange tradition was born, which suggested that the parents would collect the leftover food from the table and serve it to the newlyweds in the bedchamber in a chamber pot. Sure, the chamber pot was clean and unused, but it still didn't look like a romantic dinner.

Interestingly, the tradition continues today. Now you can buy special toilet-shaped bowls in stores. For newlyweds, they are filled with chocolate fondue and served with champagne.

What is a wedding like in India?

The celebration may take a couple of days, but it can also last for a week. Today, most Indian weddings take 1-2 days, just like in Russia.

The bride and groom celebrate their first wedding day separately in their respective homes. Each of them has its own ceremony. A beautiful henna pattern is applied to the bride's hands and feet - this is the mehendi ceremony. For men, the ceremony is called haldi. His body is covered with turmeric paste. In the evening, dancing begins - sangeet. In modern India, sangeet is a communal event. The bride and groom can prepare for this in advance by signing up for courses with a choreographer. By the way, they make good money here, although they dance in two steps. Wealthy families can host a cocktail party. There may be alcoholic drinks on the tables, but this is rare. As a rule, there is no alcohol at Indian weddings.

On the second day, the groom goes to the bride's house. The wedding ceremony is already taking place there, and only after it can he take her to his home. Today, the “bride's house” can be replaced with a banquet hall.

The wedding procession itself in India is noisy, with drums and music. The groom rides on a white horse, accompanied by his relatives, moving alongside him. Sometimes they may stop to dance. If you are stuck in a traffic jam, then perhaps the reason is the wedding procession. She moves slowly, and often along the roadway. Local residents don’t swear, it’s a wedding after all. All that remains is to admire this musical and colorful procession.

When the groom gets to the banquet hall, he immediately goes up to the stage. It was built specifically for the newlyweds, who sit on luxurious armchairs. Guests can freely come up to the newlyweds to congratulate them on their marriage. They give gifts, take pictures, and say wishes. In general, these weddings are similar to Russian ones.

Despite the fact that several ceremonies have already passed, the young couple are not yet husband and wife. All these rituals are only pre-wedding. Only in the evening comes the most magical moment - fere. The time for the phere is set by the priest pandit, for this he calculates the most favorable arrangement of the planets. Therefore, the ritual can take place not only in the evening, but also at night. That's why you can see how at Indian weddings someone is wrapped in a blanket, and someone may fall asleep.

The ceremony is held under a pandap canopy, which is specially decorated with colorful colors. The pandit lights a caster under it, and the bride and groom sit directly in front of the fire. The priest begins to read prayers, and a series of traditional rules follows. Finally, the couple must circle the sacred flame 7 times. Only after this do they become husband and wife.

The husband puts a mangalsutra - a necklace - on his beloved. Then she applies red powder - sindoor - to the parting of her hair. He should also put payal bracelets on her ankles and rings on her toes. All these are considered signs of a married woman, like the dot on the forehead. She must wear them all her life, just as in Russia wives wear a ring.

If you are interested, then read my other article about the standards of female beauty in India. Oh, how difficult it was for girls to live up to the ideal.

How is the wedding night of the gypsies?

The “carrying out of honor” is a key detail of a gypsy wedding. This custom is also called the custom of information. This means that the newlyweds are forever united by marriage. This is the most important and decisive moment in the life of the bride and her entire family. The bride must prove that she is marrying a virgin. If this is not so, then she and her family will be forever disgraced, and the marriage will be dissolved. Such a girl will forever remain an outcast among the gypsies and will never marry, and this is a very difficult fate.

This ritual takes place as follows: the groom, the bride and three respectable women (from the families of the couple) go to a secluded place and check whether the girl has retained her innocence.

However, no one knows exactly how this ritual takes place. A number of assumptions have been put forward:

• The newlyweds go to a room specially designated for the ceremony. There are ladies standing outside who will be given confirmation of the bride's virginity. To prove this, the bride and groom show a sheet on which drops of the bride's virgin blood remain;
• The women who have been chosen to perform the ceremony wrap a sheet around their arm and personally deflower the bride. In this case, the groom does not even touch the bride, he is not even present in the room. This method is very dangerous because it is not about cleanliness and sanitation. And, of course, this procedure will cause serious moral trauma to the bride.
• The betrothed deflowers the bride in front of all the guests, right on the wedding table. However, this version is considered to be implausible and ridiculous.

Once virginity has been established, women place the bloody sheet on a special tray and cover it with red ribbons. The women then leave the room and congratulate the girl's family, especially her mother and father. Red ribbons are distributed to each relative of the groom for ransom. The groom's mother and father express gratitude to the bride's parents for their decent daughter. Then the bride herself comes out wearing a red dress, which symbolizes that she has become a woman.

Traditional treat - with caution!

The food should also reflect the theme of your wedding. But Indian food is too spicy due to the abundance of spices. Not everyone may like it. It would be better to offer guests one or two dishes from classic Indian cuisine: sabji, thali or curry. But the sweet table should be made completely in Indian traditions, so that the romance of this wonderful culture does not disappear:

• Nougat
• Sherbet
• Halva
• Rasgulla
• Mithai
• Oranges and pineapples with cream.

KNOWLEDGE BASE: How to make a wedding bouquet with your own hands from roses?

The variety of colors will make your wedding photos rich and cheerful. And guests will be happy to plunge into the mysterious world of India, even for a day.

Test of Faith

Here is one of those age-old folk traditions that (thankfully) has disappeared. As we all know, Indian traditions place great emphasis on abstinence from premarital sex.

Previously, in many homes, a fresh new white sheet was placed on the bridal bed for the first night, as dirty bed linen and suhagraat clothes were considered proof of the bride's virginity. Well, it's good for our society that it realized that this is one of the most absurd (and disrespectful) things to do to a woman and soon got rid of this tradition.

Offer

Traditionally, the courtship process begins with the fact that a family who wants to marry their son begins to look for a girl for him. Usually the search begins among close relatives, neighbors and friends. These same relatives, friends and neighbors provide all possible assistance in these searches.

In Turkey's larger cities, where cultural change has occurred more rapidly, it is now the norm for young people to meet in person and directly develop relationships. However, in traditional communities and rural areas, the main type of marriage is still “Görücülük”, simply “matchmaking”. Several women from the groom's side (relatives or friends) visit the potential bride's house with the intention of finding out more about the girl and telling about their intentions. This procedure is called “bride”. After making their positive decision about the girl, the family of the potential bride is given time to get more information about the potential groom and his family and make a decision.

Usually, the most respected representatives of the groom’s family go to the bride’s house with a marriage proposal, and they cannot be refused admission. It often happens that these trips are paid for by the girl's family if she does not consent to the marriage for any reason.

Wedding ceremony

The newlyweds sat side by side at the wedding table. The dishes were placed on tables with low legs. Those present sat not on chairs, but on carpets. The main role in the wedding was played by the ritual of honoring, or introducing the newlyweds. At the end of the wedding ceremony, the elders served bread and salt to the bride and groom and gave parting words. Then the newlyweds tore off pieces from the bun and ate them with salt.

After this, the guests accompanied the newlyweds to the tent. This could happen in the middle of the wedding ceremony. The guests toasted and drank to the couple's happiness, congratulated the parents and expressed gratitude for their modest and well-mannered daughter. At the end of the holiday, the bride's shirt was brought out.

If it turned out that the bride did not preserve her honor, then the parents had to compensate for the expenses of the wedding.

From the moment the shirt was taken out, a scarf was put on the girl’s head and an apron was put on her skirt. After this, the girl was not allowed to appear in front of the opposite sex without a headscarf.

The third day of the wedding ends with the dowry. This ritual is accompanied by dancing and singing.

Peculiarities

In Mexico, the bride and groom can choose one of two wedding options - official or symbolic. In the first case, the wedding takes place at the local registry office, and then the newlyweds and their guests go to the banquet location. A symbolic wedding ceremony in Mexico involves preliminary painting in the home country and the organization of an outdoor ceremony.

The first option will cost more due to the need to pay state fees. In this country there are traditions that are observed during weddings in most cases.

Future spouses may adopt some of these customs:

• It is believed that a wedding is a celebration not so much of the newlyweds themselves, but of their parents. Even wedding invitations are written on behalf of the mothers and fathers of the bride and groom.
• The godparents of the newlyweds organize the wedding, and they also bear most of the expenses.
• The bride and groom can have their wedding in a church or arrange a unique ritual with the help of local shamans.
• After the wedding or official marriage, the newlyweds are showered with red beads as a sign of wishes for good luck and love in their family life.
• The wedding table contains not only national dishes, but also many flowers.
• For the first family dance, the newlyweds are surrounded by guests, forming a heart-shaped figure.
• A pinata is hung above the table - a large papier-mâché figure filled with candies. Before serving the cake, it is broken and sweets are poured out on the guests.
• The wedding cake filling is made from a generous amount of fruit soaked in rum.

If the bride and groom choose to officially register their marriage in Mexico, they will need to submit an application at least three months before the desired date. If it falls during the tourist season, then this must be done at least a year in advance.

By the time the application is submitted to the registry office, the couple must have the following documents in hand:

1. originals and copies of internal and international passports;
2. originals and copies of birth certificates;
3. copies of migration cards issued at the airport in Mexico;
4. completed marriage application form;
5. divorce certificate if the bride or groom were previously in another marriage.

In general, the Mexican government is loyal to those wishing to legalize their relations. As for foreigners, they should not forget about the requirements of their country for marriage, otherwise it will be considered invalid. In Mexico, there is only one additional restriction - the absence of HIV infection. The analysis is done two days before the wedding, and the results are provided to the registry office.

In addition to this, for the marriage to take place, there must be four witnesses of any nationality and gender over 18 years of age, copies of their passports must be attached to the package of documents. Parents and people staying in the country illegally cannot be witnesses.

Peculiarities of Indian marriage: “It’s customary for you to fall in love before the wedding, and for us - after”

“WHO WILL BE MY HUSBAND?”

Personally, to me, who, probably, like many in our country, grew up talking about love and freedom of choice, the very idea of ​​early marriage seemed wild. I was raised in such a way that first you need to finish school, university, then make some kind of career, achieve a stable income - and then you can think about family and children. In India today, they are also adopting this style of raising children, but you can still find families here who adhere to traditions and try to arrange marriage for their sons and daughters even before they graduate from school. Having delved into the study of this tradition, I saw that behind it there is knowledge about human nature.

Playing daughter-mother, the desire to nurse and care are natural for any girl, unless, of course, these aspirations are destroyed by the negative experience of parental relationships in the family or improper upbringing. (I hope this postulate will be received well in our country, unlike in European countries, where advocates of gender equality may find it offensive). I remember that in one Indian family I know, a six-year-old girl, helping in the kitchen to roll out cakes with her small wooden rolling pin, turned to her mother with the question: “Who will be my husband?” Such questions become a signal for parents - it’s time to find a husband for their daughter. Today, of course, the search begins not at age six, but often at age 10 or more. In this case, the husband should be approximately 5–10 years older than the girl. Astrological charts are drawn up and compatibility is calculated. They look at what their inclinations are, what kind of family they are raised in, what the income of their parents is, what level of comfort they are accustomed to. And after a suitable candidate is found, the families come to an agreement.

But this does not mean that a boy and a girl immediately begin to live together. No, sometimes many years pass before they unite (first of all, it is necessary for the girl to reach puberty). However, the girl already knows who her future husband is, her mind is calm, she does not look at other guys, she can go with her parents to visit her future husband, learn from her mother to keep the house in order, cook special dishes and treat her betrothed to presence of adults. Thus, a relationship based on etiquette and service gradually develops between them. Over the years of communication, the boy must learn some skill in order to be able to support his future family. Previously, boys studied in special schools, where they learned the scriptures, literacy and the basics of their future profession - these schools exist in India today, they are called gurukuls and require strict discipline and celibacy (sexual abstinence). Nowadays, young people mostly go to colleges and universities; foreign universities are considered especially prestigious. After graduating from an educational institution, the young man returns to his family and brings his wife into the house.

A little history: Mahatma Gandhi married his age at the age of 13, however, seeing that the system of early marriages sometimes became the reason for the exploitation of children, he passed a bill limiting the age of marriage to 14 years for girls and 18 for boys. In 1978, the law was amended to allow marriage for men at 21 years of age and for women at 18 years of age. It still works today. However, this law is often violated, especially in the provinces: according to 2007 data, almost 50% of Indian women get married before the age of 18.

However, this is a modern story. Previously, things were somewhat different: the bride and groom were sometimes not even supposed to see each other before the wedding. Moreover, we are not talking about commoners, but about aristocratic families. In South India I met a woman named Vijaya, who grew up in a traditional Indian family. “My parents and grandparents all lived together, and they taught me. My grandmother said: “Don’t walk alone, don’t talk to men.” As a result, before I got married, I never spoke to any strange man. I was always protected; my father never allowed me to go to work. All my cousins ​​stopped education as soon as they reached puberty. But my father, because he worked in the government and was somewhat liberal, still allowed me to study at a girls’ school, he gave me a little independence.”

Until now, in their community, marriages are only of convenience, that is, they are arranged by authorities: “My husband and I didn’t even see each other before marriage. The parents decided everything between themselves. My sister, all the women in my family got married this way. My mother also did not see my father before marriage. Only after the wedding we could see each other. And then our love began. And there were no problems. What's happening now? They already seem to love each other, talk randomly, then get married, quarrel and get divorced. But in our times, we never spoke to each other, never saw each other before marriage. I saw my husband only after marriage, and we have been living with each other for the last 30 years. We have two wonderful children. Sometimes there are some misunderstandings, but we adjust and move on. Someone will say “forgive me” and everything will be fine.”

Photo: AP/TASS

“LOVE SHIFTS BY ITSELF. A WIFE CANNOT NOT LOVE HER HUSBAND"

I foresee objections: what about love? I asked myself this question until I received the answer in the wonderful non-fiction book “Perspectives on Traditional India” (author Bhakti Vikasha Swami ), which contains interviews with representatives of traditional Indian families recalling the culture in which they grew up. One Indian, who has lived for a long time in the West, says about our morals: “They put on a whole show out of love. When the husband drops his wife off at work, they kiss goodbye. (In India, kissing in public, even between husband and wife, is unheard of.) But then they quarrel and get divorced just as easily. In our country, it is not customary to even talk about love, let alone show it to others. It is not necessary. Love manifests itself. A wife cannot help but love her husband. She loves him because he is her husband. Many Americans have asked me about arranged marriage: “How can you marry someone you have never even met?” How can you love such a person? “To this I replied: “It’s customary for you to fall in love before marriage, and for us - after.” The only difference is that after the wedding, your love quickly passes and you get divorced easily. This doesn’t happen here."

You need to understand an important point: marriage in traditional culture is, first of all, a duty. In Hindi, by the way, until the middle of the last century there was not even such a thing as “divorce.” Not only the word was missing, but also the very idea of ​​divorce: you get married or are getting married, and no matter what your husband or your wife is, you fulfill your duty as a family man for the rest of your life.

Moreover, as I understand it, Indian culture is not unique in this regard - similar ideas about the family were inherent in our Russian culture until approximately the middle of the 20th century. For one study, I spent hours talking with my grandmother and four of her peers, who had lived their entire lives in their native village, almost never leaving. I asked about their morals. According to them, they never even thought about divorce, no matter what difficulties they had to endure. “My husband was drinking, so I’ll start swearing, he’ll fight at me, and I’ll go into the garden, I’ll stand behind the barn, howl and go back to the hut. Will they go like this now? No. Now they will immediately share: I’m leaving, I’m registered, give me a share. And then there was no share. Ayda, run as soon as you came,” - this is from my recordings of a dialogue with the 93-year-old now deceased Aunt Dunya Vorobyova .

ABOUT CHASTITY

“But in the case of early marriages, children get married!” - someone will say. And I even agree that it seems strange. However, let's study the statistics. According to data for 2014 (the first collective monograph of the Scientific Center for Children’s Health, “Medical and Social Problems in the Education of Adolescents”), in Russia, more than 40% of schoolgirls at the age of 15 have already lost their virginity. Moreover, every fifth of them (8% of the total) lost their virginity before the age of 13. According to VTsIOM, the average age of sexual debut in Russia (as of 2006) is 16 years (in 1993 - 19.5 years). The global average is 17 years. Experts note that early promiscuity leads to an increase in “female” diseases and a decrease in reproductive abilities in the future. Each of us knows cases where schoolgirls have abortions or become single mothers.

Nature takes its toll. And what is better - for a girl to lose her virginity in a random place with some random guy who will never take responsibility for her, or for this to happen in marriage with her legal husband, with the consent of her parents and under full protection? The question remains open. But this argument is the main one in favor of early marriages.

At the same time, in India, great importance is still attached to the chastity of the bride. In traditional families, the possibility of marrying a girl deprived of her virginity is excluded. Therefore, parents there are still aware of their responsibility, written in the scriptures: to find a husband for their daughter, and a wife for their son. And until the daughter is properly settled and provided for, the father must take care of her, support her and protect her from any irresponsible men.

Another argument in favor of early marriages is that in their case a girl can already have several children by the age of 25, and their birth will be much easier and more natural than in those numerous cases when a woman struggles to get pregnant and give birth at 30–35 years. I once talked with a matchmaker from Tatarstan, she has her own successful dating agency. According to her, today there is a huge problem in our country - many women only realize at the age of 30 that they need to get married, but at this age it is very difficult to arrange their marriage. Brought up just like me, with the idea that first they need to study, work, make a career, achieve something, and then think about their husband and children, they lose their best years for having children and starting a family.

GIRLS' EDUCATION: HOUSEHOLDING AND HELPING HUSBANDS

In traditional Indian culture, a father places his daughter under the guardianship of her husband. This does not mean that she will not study (however, talking about the effectiveness of getting an education in the current system is a separate topic, especially in connection with the large number of stories of successful people like Steve Jobs who dropped out of schools and colleges and engaged in self-education). In India, girls were taught to run a household from childhood, and it is still not difficult for a young girl here to very quickly prepare a full, tasty dinner of five or six dishes. I have observed in Indian families how easily, trained by years of experience, girls roll chapattis (dough flatbreads), fry vegetables, and combine spices. Also, girls studied those arts that corresponded to their nature, but not for the public, but in order to please their future husband and help him in his activities. And then, when she marries a suitable man, such a girl is able to support him: if he is a Brahmin (priest), she helps him in rituals; if he is a teacher in a gurukul (a residential school for boys), she takes care of them like a mother; if he is a kshatriya (manager), then the wife must know the laws of politics well, be able to meet her husband’s guests, feed them, arrange them, conduct reasonable conversations, and so on.

That is, a girl can develop her natural talents, but she does not have to work to survive. In a traditional family, the husband is responsible for feeding the family, and it is considered a disgrace for him if his wife works. And in fact, according to sociologists, today many women in Western countries, where feminism was born more than a century ago, are inclined to return to their traditional roles - they have already been fed up with beautiful and deceptive promises of happiness that will come to them if they work from morning to morning. evenings in offices and factories and fight for a place in the sun on an equal basis with men. Many women today are happy to relax and calmly prepare dinner or walk in the park with their children. Many of them are happy to give time of their lives to their own husband, and not to strangers at work.

SUMMARY

Of course, I described the ideal situation. Today, Indians, especially in big cities, are retreating from their traditions, early marriages often become a farce (for the sake of dowry or other reasons), parents strive to educate their children and are very proud if their daughter, albeit single and childless, has a Doctor of Science degree. And if in the West the ideals of career and material success are no longer so strong, then in India, which lags behind in economic indicators, the desire for these ideals is only gaining momentum.

However, what alternative to traditional values ​​can modern culture offer? Let's look at the statistics once again: in traditional culture, the proportion of divorces was zero, and in 2022 Russia became the world leader in divorces: there are 829 divorces per 1000 marriages (in second place after the Maldives). Therefore, in my humble opinion, we should try to reflect on the positive aspects of many traditions that are fading into the past, before writing them off and labeling them as “exotic” or “archaic.”

Natalia Fedorova

Indian newlyweds: image of the bride and groom

Not only the traditions and customs of Indian weddings amaze with their beauty, but also the newlyweds, who look bright and impressive at the celebration, because this day is considered one of the happiest in their lives. What Indian brides usually look like:

• The bride is wearing a fiery sari embroidered with gold threads.
• Hands and feet are painted with henna.
• An obligatory attribute of a woman's image is Indian wedding jewelry, in particular, traditional red bracelets, which “say” that the girl is getting married. There is a gold ring in the left nostril.
• The bride's hair is generously lubricated with aromatic oils and braided. The parting is decorated with fresh flowers and/or precious stones.
• A red dot (tilak) is always drawn on the forehead, and the eyebrows are decorated with gold beads.

Next to such a spectacular bride, the groom should look the part:

• On his wedding day, he wears tight trousers and a wide dress, belted with a bright red sash. His outfit is richly embroidered with gold, like the bride's wedding dress.
• The groom puts a bright turban on his head.
• A red dot is also drawn on his forehead, which is applied to him by the bride’s mother when the young man arrives at their home.

If you decide to organize a wedding in a national style based on the beautiful eastern country of India, then these are the images you will have to create together with the groom!

The first sex of the ancient peoples

As soon as the first people appeared, sex appeared in their lives. Initially, it was just a way to prolong one’s family. Gradually, people began to understand the meaning, value and pleasure derived from sexual intimacy.

This is interesting: How to make the first wedding night after the wedding memorable?

In order to prolong sexual intercourse, Greek men applied crushed red pepper and honey to the genitals. It was believed that this remedy could prolong a man’s love affair for a long time.

Male prostitution was common in Athens. Basically, the poorest strata of the population went to this work. They did not have sufficient civil rights, but nevertheless existed quite normally in society. Surprisingly, most of the clients of male prostitutes were the same men.

Almost all high society in Jordan was polygamous. It was considered quite normal for one man to keep several wives at once. At the same time, the number of beautiful ladies depended on the income and wealth of the groom himself. If he was able, he could support up to 1000 brides.

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Unusual Indian wedding night traditions

Some newlyweds in India have been abandoning ancient traditions for many years, and weddings are becoming more and more modern - in the European style. But there are also settlements and families where they adhere to all traditions and honor even the most ancient and, at first glance, strange ones. Let's look at those traditions of the first wedding night in India that seem to us the most unusual and surprising for the modern world.

Strange Indian wedding night traditions:

• Bride's virginity. What has not been discussed by Europeans for a long time is the basis for Indian grooms who observe ancient customs. The first wedding night in India must necessarily show that the bride is a virgin. And only the most modern and progressive Indian grooms do not follow this rule and do not pay any attention to whether the bride has had men before him.
• The first three nights. The first nights spent together are considered the most fruitful for newlyweds, and on these nights they conceive their first child. They are required to spend only three nights together and then find themselves free for several months. Relaxation and spending free time with anyone is allowed. A few months later, the husband and wife meet again and begin to live a normal family life.
• Wedding night confirmation. In some Indian settlements, it was not enough to simply send the newlyweds to bed. Sex on the wedding night in India had to be confirmed by someone else. To do this, one woman from the bride’s clan was sent, who lay under their bed and had to lie there and listen to everything.
• A strange ritual. In one of the settlements of ancient India, there was a ritual that concerned specifically the first wedding night. According to him, the husband should not deflower the bride. For this, a man from a neighboring settlement was invited. He deflowered the bride the day before the Indian wedding, and on the wedding night the newlyweds slept together.

We told you about how newlyweds celebrate their first wedding night in India. These are the strange and wonderful traditions that can exist. It is always surprising to discover the world of other peoples, especially their history and rituals. The portal www.svadebka.ws will be happy to help you learn new and interesting things not only about wedding nights in different countries, but also about much more!

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Common traditions for all religions

There are certain traditions of spending the first night of marriage, common to all religions. These include:

Washing after intercourse

In all religions, it is strongly recommended to immediately wash the genitals or rinse completely with water immediately after sexual intercourse. This is especially true for men. The action is usually performed for hygienic reasons and to protect the body from the evil eye.

Don't overeat before intimacy

There is a religious principle “do not please your own belly”, which is approved in many religions. Newlyweds should be modest in their eating habits and full of energy for the sacred act of marriage.

Where to have your wedding

Do you dream of concluding a sacred union in an ancient Indian temple according to the canons of the Hindu religion? Ancient rituals and traditions of Tamil Nadu await lovers. See the impenetrable jungle while traveling on elephants, get acquainted with the “Pink City” of Jaipur, visit the unsurpassed Taj Mahal - a symbol of eternal love - the choice is up to you.

In Goa

The pearl of India, a wedding Mecca for tourists from all over the world – Goa. Snow-white beaches, azure ocean, ancient traditions are at the service of those wishing to hold a wedding ceremony. A traditional tent, a Brahmin wedding, generous gifts from the rich Indian soil will leave an unforgettable experience. Most tour operators offer to organize the ceremony based on Indian or European style..

In Kerala

The southern state of Kerala is home to miles of stunning beaches, lakes and tropical wilderness of India. There is nothing more romantic than wearing a pearl-gold sari (which is different from the traditional red outfit) for the bride and becoming an oriental beauty. The wedding night spent by the lovers on a “floating house” will make hearts beat faster many years later.

In Tamil Nadu

Do you want to have a quiet, romantic wedding ceremony? The state of Tamil Nadu, rich in exquisite architectural treasures, temples and lush blooming, fragrant greenery, provides such an opportunity. “The golden city of a thousand temples of India,” Kanchipuram has become a haven for three religions: Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism. Quiet, clean, cozy streets of small resort towns will give you an unforgettable experience.

In Jaipur

Carrying out a Maharaja style wedding ceremony in the city of the current Maharaja - Jaipur - will be remembered for its richness of colors and vivid impressions. Majestic palaces, ancient temples, on the territory of which it is possible to organize a wedding, will turn lovers into “representatives of the highest caste”, for whom the whole world was created. Chic outfits, luxurious apartments, rich food are available to those wishing to organize a wedding ceremony in Jaipur.

In Udaipur

In the middle of arid Rajstan, at the confluence of three lakes, long ago Maharaja Udai Singh founded the “snow-white city of India” - Udaipur. The ancient architecture of palaces, green parks, numerous hotels and... the magnificent expanse of water rightfully gave this city a second name - Venice of the East. Delightful photos of the wedding ceremony, a boat trip to the Pihkola Palace will be a happy start to your family life, giving you an unforgettable experience.

To Delhi

The contrast of a large metropolis, the fusion of religions and cultures, ancient rituals and symbols are intricately intertwined in the capital of India - Delhi. Most residents of large cities choose a “wedding for love,” gradually moving away from the customs of their ancestors. However, the legacy of generations is so great that a wedding is impossible without the “classical” Indian attire of the newlyweds, the Brahmin and the fundamental ceremonies.

In Agra

To hold a wedding ceremony in one of the wonders of the world, built in Agra as a sign of recognition of unfading feelings - the Taj Mahal - is the dream of any bride. Snow-white marble, airy architecture, exquisite patterns and stucco molding - the splendor of what you see blinds your eyes and takes your breath away. Walk barefoot along the ancient slabs with your spouse, absorbing the energy and all-conquering power of love. Leave your confession on the steps of the temple, because the ancient legend of India says that then your feelings will be as strong as the great love of the great Shah.

How gypsies celebrate a wedding

Gypsies always celebrated weddings on a grand scale and pomp and never skimped on them. Their wedding celebrations are truly grandiose. Musicians, numerous rituals, “tours” from village to village - without all this, a gypsy wedding cannot take place.

Matchmaking

A curious fact is that the gypsies even wooed their infant children. The parents planned to have a wedding when the children reached the right age. This agreement was observed very strictly. It happened that the gypsies could marry a young girl. If the girl’s mother and father gave their consent, then she went to live in the tent of the groom’s family and lived there until the wedding.

Bride kidnapping ritual

Bride kidnapping was common among all classes of gypsies. The reasons were different: the difficult financial condition of the family, the prohibition of the bride's or groom's parents on marriage.

The young people met at various fairs. It should be noted that it is not customary for gypsies to show sympathy for the opposite sex. They couldn't be alone. The young guy could not choose the girl who would become his wife; his parents did this.

Bride ransom

The Kalderars were obliged to pay a ransom for the young woman. The size of the ransom directly depended on the financial situation of the groom's family. The Kalderars paid for the bride in gold. The minimum ransom amount was ten rubles, the maximum was thirty rubles.

Wedding traditions

There are several strict rules regarding weddings that the gypsy people strictly observe:

• The Gypsies have a custom called early marriage. Gypsy marriage usually occurs at a fairly early age. Already at the age of 15, a gypsy is considered ready for marriage, and her family begins to prepare for the wedding in advance.
• Among gypsies, parents can fulfill the wedding contract at an early age for their children.
• In a gypsy family, it is customary to honor the word of the eldest in the family. Therefore, the bride and groom are usually chosen by the father. Future spouses do not have the right to disagree with the parents' choice.
• Newlyweds do not sign at the registry office. They just get married in the temple. It is customary to celebrate a wedding for three days in a row; all expenses are covered by the groom and his relatives.
• On the first day of the wedding, the husband and wife sit separately.
• The new wife dances her first dance with her father.

How is the first wedding night among gypsies: wedding customs

In order to better imagine the colorful wedding celebration of the gypsy clan and its original rituals, Svadbaholik.ru will introduce you to several harsh laws that are still enforced:

• According to traditions, marriage between gypsies takes place at a young age. And if for European youth a wedding at the age of 19 is a rather rare occurrence, because, supposedly, it is too early, then a bride from a gypsy family at that age is already considered an old maid and no one needs. Therefore, gypsy marriages take place at the age of 15-18 years.
• Matchmaking may well occur at a time when the children of two families are in infancy. If the bride, for example, was matched at the age of ten, she can live in the groom’s family until she is fifteen years old, after which the wedding will take place.
• The word of the elders in a gypsy family is law. Therefore, the choice of a candidate for groom or bride is made by the parents, mainly the father. The bride's consent during matchmaking is considered formal, since she will not dare to go against the will of her relatives.
• A gypsy wedding does not involve going to the registry office, because divorce is not provided for in families. Orthodox gypsies unconditionally get married in church. The wedding celebration usually lasts three days and has about 300 guests. Absolutely all expenses are covered by the groom's family, so when a boy is born into the family, you must immediately start collecting money for the wedding. Interestingly, a wedding in India, on the contrary, is traditionally paid for by the bride’s side.
• Men and women must sit at separate tables, especially the bride and groom, this is the gypsy law. According to tradition, on the second day of the wedding, the newlyweds are next to each other at the same table.

Wedding with tears

No matter what the wedding is - cheerful and rich, the young woman and her relatives most often shed tears and this is explained by the following points:

1. From now on, the wife cannot wear trousers or jeans - only dresses and skirts below the knee, and her head must be covered with a scarf.
2. The bride can no longer meet with her bridesmaids.
3. The young woman takes on all the household chores - washing, cleaning, cooking for everyone who lives in her husband’s house.
4. As soon as the newlyweds move into their own home, the wife must take care of maintaining the family.
5. The newlywed is forbidden to argue with her husband, regardless of the subject of the dispute.
6. A gypsy bride is prohibited from cheating, while men are allowed to do so.

The customs of gypsy weddings are passed down from generation to generation. Each ritual helps to create a strong family in which happiness and love reign and where husband and wife respect each other. Divorces are very rare among Roma, which proves that traditions are carefully preserved and passed on from generation to generation.

Orthodox gypsies bless the newlyweds with an icon and bread. The origin of this tradition comes from Indian customs. To bless future spouses from the upper strata of the community with the icon, and from the lower strata with bread. The wedding loaf should be baked by married women who are happy in their family life, which symbolizes the happiness of the new family.

After a sheet with evidence of the bride’s chastity is brought out to the guests, the rite of Fraternization occurs. This happens as follows: the groom’s father makes cuts on the hands of the husband and wife, after which they connect the places of the cuts, which symbolizes the mixing of blood. This is how the newlyweds become relatives who do everything together.

Nowadays, gypsy weddings are organized with some relaxations in the rules and customs. The holiday is increasingly accompanied by performances by invited stars and artists, the rental of expensive cars, and the celebration itself is held in luxurious halls. It is becoming less and less common for the bride and groom to be seated at separate tables, however, large gypsy camps still adhere to traditions.

Wedding rules:

1. You can bring alcohol as a gift, which you need to immediately put on the table.
2. It is forbidden to get drunk at a wedding - it is a shame for a gypsy.
3. Women cannot even touch men because it is a desecration of men's honor.
4. It is forbidden to shout “Bitter” at a wedding.
5. The bride and groom do not dance their first wedding dance.
6. The newlyweds are forbidden to talk to each other, which shows the girl's submissiveness.
7. Men and women dance in separate circles.

A gypsy wedding is a difficult matter, in which there are a lot of points that must be strictly observed

This is very important in the case when elderly gypsies and gypsies are present at the wedding, for whom all this has a special meaning and who carefully ensure that all traditions are respected. And you shouldn’t try to change anything - the anger of the oldest representatives will be terrible

If the newlyweds come up with the idea of ​​celebrating a wedding according to gypsy traditions, then it is important to be careful with all the traditions so as not to offend these people. The traditions of such celebrations are something that have been preserved for many years and therefore it is necessary to either follow them scrupulously, or completely abandon the idea of ​​holding a wedding according to the customs of the gypsies.